


A Constant Star

by milesofblue



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: A Happily Ever After!, Adventures, Anal Play, Anal Sex, Blood and Violence, Blow Jobs, Boys In Love, Coming of Age, Drama & Romance, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Explicit Language, Explicit Sexual Content, Fluff and Smut, Friends to Lovers, Friendship, Growing Up Together, Heavy Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Just two angsty horny babies trying to survive in a magical world, M/M, Secret Relationship, Sexual Tension, Slow Burn, This epic covers a lot of territory & spans several years, True Love, lots of humor!
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-07-29
Updated: 2021-03-05
Packaged: 2021-03-06 00:40:52
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Underage
Chapters: 60
Words: 231,351
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25554472
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/milesofblue/pseuds/milesofblue
Summary: The Starbucks epic you never knew you needed! James is the charming star Quidditch player with a big heart and Sirius is the witty, brooding menace with a chip on his shoulder. Drama, angst, secret relationships, Quidditch games, Marauder pranks, holidays, first jobs, the rise of the Dark Lord and a sizzling passion are just a few highlights from this coming of age tale!
Relationships: Sirius Black/James Potter
Comments: 198
Kudos: 147





	1. The Beginning of the End

**Author's Note:**

> This story has been four years in the making! It was started in the summer of 2017 and it's so large (around 100 chapters and half a million words) that it's going to take me a while to get it all uploaded. So please be patient! Writing this story literally taught me how to write and also got me through a very low point in my life. I learned that even in the darkest circumstances, dreams and imagination can flourish, and perhaps that's even where they're born!
> 
> This beast of an epic was made possible thanks to "Harry Potter Wiki"! (www.harrypotter.fandom.com) I used that amazing site countless times over the years for references and ideas as well as the entire Harry Potter book series and the book, "Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them". The Harry Potter movies were also hugely inspirational. Thank you J.K. Rowling for creating this world and its brilliant characters! They will live in our hearts forever!
> 
> Enjoy and thank you so much for reading! Your comments and encouragement mean the world!⭐️

***

~Sirius~

It wasn’t supposed to end like this.

So very grey.

I had dreams… _so many dreams._

The walls know…they know _everything_.

We had plans… _so many plans._

But I won’t quit pacing.

Never.

Where did it all go wrong?

How did it come to _this_?

Could I have prevented it?

It’s getting harder to remember.

It’s all grey now.

Maybe it all started on that _day_ …

The day we first met.

  
  
***

“James Potter—nice to meet you,” the boy said, extending out his large hand.

Sirius stared at him for a moment, taking in his vibrant greens eyes, curly brown hair and dimples. The boy didn’t look threatening. He seemed friendly, even if he was dressed _extremely_ _posh_ —designer jumper, tailored, grey, plaid trousers, shiny shoes the color of a polished acorn. He smelled rich, too. Like an oiled saddle. What did rich people bathe in, anyway? Money?

Sirius pursed his lips and shook the boy’s hand back, giving it a tight squeeze and letting him know _exactly_ who was in charge.

“So do you have any siblings at Hogwarts?” the boy asked, kneeling in front of his trunk and popping open the metal latches.

Sirius perched on the end of his four-poster and watched him.

“Erm no…I have a younger brother, Regulus, but it will be a few years before he’s old enough to come here. Do you have any siblings?” He was surprised he even cared to ask. Since when did he make small talk with his peers?

“I’m an only child,” James said happily, pulling a stack of jumpers out of his trunk and setting them on the floor. They looked expensive, too.

“Did your family come here as well?” Sirius asked, his curiosity getting the better of him.

“Yeah, mum and dad were both Gryffindor like me. And you?”

Sirius squirmed. “Yes, they came here…but my family’s been Slytherin for as long as they can remember.”

James paused what he was doing and stared up at him, frowning, with a deep line forming between his well-groomed brows. “Wow, well I bet they’ll be chuffed you were sorted into Gryffindor then!”

Sirius tried not to scowl, though _why_ , he wasn’t exactly sure. It didn’t seem like the boy meant any harm. He seemed quite genuine in his ignorance.

“I suspect they’ll have many reactions to the news…but I doubt _chuffed_ will be one of them,” he said, wrapping his arms around his knees and staring at the fireplace across the room, the coals glowing a tempting orange. And he was completely shocked when he came to and realized James was standing near him, staring down at him intently, and then the boy did another shocking thing—he sat down on his bed right next to him.

“So you don’t think they’ll take it well?” James asked softly.

Who was this creature and why was he trying to get so personal?

“Erm…no, I don’t think they will. My family is… _old blood_.”

“What’d you mean?”

Clearly, the boy was sheltered.

Sirius was about to say something sarcastic, but for some reason, bit his tongue, and when he glanced sideways at James, all he saw were two very large, questioning emerald eyes staring right back at him. He started to melt a little. 

“Well, it means they stick with their own kind…they favor their own lineage…and despise…well, pretty much everyone else.”

Saying it out loud felt like he’d just lifted a twenty pound weight off his chest.

“Oh,” the boy said, frowning and resting his elbows on his knees. He was sitting so close their shoulders were barely touching and Sirius almost felt tipsy on his scent. Was it his shampoo? Surely he didn’t wear cologne—they were only _twelve,_ after all.

“Well, that doesn’t seem very nice...” James said thoughtfully. “I’m sorry you had to grow up with that.”

Sirius gaped at him, all his witty replies and ingrained defense mechanisms crumbling at the foot of his bed. No one in his life had ever said such a thing to him. And the boy seemed genuinely sorry! Suddenly, the hair on the back of his neck bristled. Did James pity him? Because if so, he couldn’t tolerate that.

He didn’t need _sympathy_.

“I can imagine that sort of thing makes life difficult…” James said, “especially if you want something different. It’s like, my pop is an inventor, his father was an inventor…and so on, and I know they all thought I might follow in their footsteps one day…but I don’t give a flying rat tail about science! I love _Quidditch_!” he said lighting up, his green eyes sparkling.

Sirius continued to gape at him, part of him wanting to say that one’s chosen career and one’s blood status were two very _different_ things, and the other part of him…Well, he’d never seen anyone so excited about anything.

“I’ve been practicing! I’ve got a broom and everything! I’ve been riding one before I could walk!” James rambled, animatedly using his hands which seemed much too large for his body. “Okay, well I didn’t ride on my _own_ …my pop used to hold me up…I’m going to try out for the team this year! I know people say First Years don’t have a shot…but like I said, I’ve been _practicing_ …and I have a natural talent. If anyone can make it, I’d think it would be me…”

Well he certainly wasn’t lacking in _confidence_.

“Do you play?”

“Hmm?”

“Quidditch. Do you play? Do you have a favorite team?”

More questions Sirius had never been asked before.

“Um, no…it’s not really a thing in my family.”

It was James’ turn to gape at him.

“I can’t _imagine_ life without Quidditch!”

“Well, we seem to carry on alright without it…” Sirius snorted. He couldn’t believe this boy was for real.

“Just wait and see…you’ll love it. I’ll convert you,” James said grinning widely, his completely annoying dimples deepening.

Sirius doubted it, but he didn’t have the heart to tell him.

“So do you have your schedule? Maybe we have some classes together! It would be nice to know someone…and it would make studying together easier. Pop said his best mate at Hogwarts was also in his same House…and I guess that makes sense…”

Sirius narrowed his eyes at him.

Was he saying he hoped they’d be _best friends_? The idea was ludicrous! They didn’t even know each other. And besides, Sirius had never had a friend and he’d done just fine without one.

Well…he’d _survived_ at least.

“C’mon, let’s go down to the commons and see if they have any refreshments. I’m starving.”

“After that massive supper?”

James grinned, his eyes sparkling mischievously, “Mum says I’m like a vanishing cabinet—no matter what I put inside, it always seems to disappear!”

Sirius stared at him blankly, and then, to his complete surprise, he felt his lip twitch up slightly.

“Let’s go!” James said, whacking him on the shoulder before sliding off the bed.

And Sirius didn’t know why, but he followed him.

There was just something about the boy.

***

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ⭐️🦌⭐️🦌⭐️🦌⭐️🦌⭐️
> 
> *Yes, my depiction of James and Sirius is slightly different than canon. Blue-eyed and black-haired Sirius was inspired by the amazing “UptheHillArt” on Tumblr, and James was inspired by a certain green-eyed celebrity as well as something from my imagination. But both characters really took on a life and look of their own as this story evolved and I encourage you to project whatever you imagine onto them!✨🔮✨


	2. Juvenile Games

**Part I**

**  
~Fall 1976: 6 th Year~**

***

~J~

James and the rest of the Marauders were sitting at the Gryffindor table one Saturday morning, getting ready to leave for Hogsmeade, when James looked up and saw Snape entering the room.

 _Bet the greasy bat is meeting Lily…_ he thought with a scowl.

Snape averted his eyes and walked directly to the Slytherin table, sitting down and continuing to glance at the entrance into the Great Hall every few moments.

_Yeah, he’s waiting on her, the git. Well, not if I can get to her first…_

“James? Did you hear me?” Sirius asked amidst a roar of laughter at the table, elbowing him in the side.

“Huh?”

“I was telling everyone about when you and I accidentally drove your dad’s car into that snowbank last Christmas…Remember? And you used your _knickers_ as a flag for help…” he said grinning, his blue eyes shining. 

“Yeah, yeah I remember,” James said irritably, keeping his eyes focused on the entrance of the Hall.

Sirius huffed loudly and rolled his eyes. “Well, _I_ thought it was rather funny.”

“Yeah, it was...I just…” James instantly fell silent, his mouth falling open.

Lily was standing in the doorway, panting, as if she’d just run a mile, and wearing the _shortest_ skirt he’d ever seen. His green eyes widened and his heart started racing. She was walking towards the House tables. Would she come to the Gryffindor table or go straight to Snivellus at Slytherin?

He waited with baited breath, biting his lip.

And then, to his complete and utter disappointment, she went straight to Snivellus.

_Bollocks…_

He hated feeling like the loser.

And then he watched in horror as she stood in front of the bat and ran her hands through his greasy hair, smiling up at him as if he hung the damn moon.

James grimaced, thinking he might literally pass out from the sheer repulsiveness of it. The cherry on top was when Snape deliberately glanced over at him and smirked, his black, spider-like eyes glittering.

_I’ll kill him…I’ll kill him. That smug bastard…He knows he’s won and he’s rubbing it in my face._

On impulse, James knocked Peter’s fork to the ground, where it clattered loudly, interrupting the moment and causing Snape and Lily to both look back in their direction. Peter quickly fell on all fours and scrambled to grab the utensil, but the diversion wasn’t enough to completely distract the pair. They sat down side by side on the bench seat, continuing to talk whilst James fumed, not even noticing the food that had suddenly appeared on his golden plate.

“Are you gonna eat anything, mate?” Remus asked, swiping his copper hair out of his eyes.

“Oh, yeah…”

He speared a stack of pancakes and shoved the forkful in his mouth whilst continuing to shoot glares over his shoulder as the couple canoodled over their breakfast.

He thought he might be sick.

“So what’re we gonna do in Hogsmeade today?” Peter asked, sipping his pumpkin juice.

“Oh, probably the usual,” Sirius sighed. “Zonko’s, Honeydukes...I need to get another Sneakoscope since Wormtail _lost_ mine,” he said shooting a pointed look at Peter.

Peter winced, dribbling hot pumpkin juice down the front of his jumper.

“Okay, so let’s head out then…” Remus said starting to get up.

“Hang on,” James snapped.

“Why?”

“Because he wants to leave at the same time _Lily_ does,” Sirius muttered.

“James, it’s not gonna make a difference. You still don’t have a chance in _Hades_ with her,” Remus said emphatically. “And besides, she and Severus seemed to have really _cozied_ up to each other lately…”

“Are you saying she’d prefer that greasy-haired git over _me_?” James hissed, his eyes widening and his nostrils flaring.

“Well, it sure _looks_ that way,” Remus muttered.

Sirius just sat there and smirked.

“You’re all a bunch of tossers!” James spat. “I don’t give up that easily.”

“Yes, we _know_ ,” Sirius muttered, picking at a stray thread on his jumper sleeve.

When Lily and Snape finally got up from their table James jumped to his feet and started putting his coat and scarf on.

“Alright, here we go,” Remus sighed, pulling on his gloves.

They exited the Great Hall and headed towards the road for Hogsmeade.

James broke into a trot to catch up with Lily, coming along-side her.

“Hey, Lily!” he said cheerfully.

“Hello, James,” she replied stiffly.

“Uh, so I guess you’re headed to Hogsmeade for the day?”

“Yes, James, that would be why I’m walking down this icy road in the bitter cold.”

He raked his hand back through his hair, surprised by her sarcastic remark.

“Oh, um right. So do you mind if we join you?”

“Do I have a choice?” she replied coolly.

“Uh, well…we are all headed in the _same direction_ …and I just thought maybe…we could walk together.”

“Well, I’m _already_ walking with someone, and he’s right next to me—and his name is Severus!” she barked loudly.

James recoiled.

“Okay, okay, I just thought you might like some more _interesting_ company…but if you prefer _greasy_ and _unpleasant_ …Well, that’s _your_ choice,” he said with a proud smirk.

Sirius let out a snort of approval.

“James!” she shrieked.

“See you around, Lily." He gave a little wave as he ran past her.

“Well, that went well,” Remus huffed as he caught up with him.

“Yeah, it was brilliant,” Sirius said with pride.

“Hey, guys, wait for me!” Peter yelled as he scrambled through the snow, trying to catch up with them; his short, fat legs unable to get any traction.

“Wasn’t my best moment,” James muttered.

“Hey, cheer up, mate! We still have Hogsmeade,” Sirius said, slapping him on the back and grinning. 

“Whatever,” he pouted, feeling like the trip was completely pointless now.

  
~~~

  
Zonko’s Joke Shop was packed with students frantically stocking up on the special merchandise before the Christmas break and James suddenly remembered he needed to get some presents for his younger cousins—everyone _loved_ exclusive Hogwarts’ gifts. He was looking through a rack of X-Ray glasses when he saw Lily and Snape enter the shop. He watched Lily closely as she walked over to a rack of love potion bottles, wondering why she’d need to buy one of those. She picked one up and laughed, and then started making her way through the crowded room to the counter, with the bat in tow, of course.

_Now’s my chance…_

He shoved his way over to her, purposely stepping on her foot and getting her attention.

“Sorry, Evans! Didn’t see you there…” he smirked, running his hand back through his hair.

Lily rolled her eyes and kept moving forward.

But he wasn’t done yet.

He gripped her arm and pulled her towards him, “If you really wanna have a _good time_ , meet me by the Whomping Willow Friday night…Instead of playing in the _Prefect’s_ _bathroom_ with that greasy-haired git.”

A look of fury flashed across her freckled face before she roughly pushed him back, glaring up at him with red cheeks, and just before she replied, Sirius grabbed him by the bicep and yanked him back though the crowds to where Remus and Peter were standing. 

“Bloody hell, what is _WRONG_ with you?” Sirius hissed, his blue eyes wild as he gripped his arm tightly.

“Hey, piss off!” James snapped, tugging his arm away and rubbing it.

“Are you _trying_ to get yourself killed?” Remus asked with wide eyes. “I don’t know _what_ you said to her, but they both look about ready to _murder_ you. Why can’t you just leave well enough alone? For Merlin’s sake, James! We’re getting too bloody old for these juvenile games.”

Remus and Peter stalked out the door in a huff whilst James just stood there with his mouth hanging open, completely baffled by Remus’ spiteful rant; he was usually the calm, sensible one of their group.

“Come on, James. Let’s just go,” Sirius pleaded quietly. 

“Fine. But I don’t wanna hear it from _you_ , too. You’re supposed to be my best mate, and lately you’ve been siding with them. You _know_ how I feel about her. Why can’t you all just be supportive?”

Sirius stared up at him for a moment, pursing his lips. “Sorry, Prongs…I’ll always have your back, you know that. They’re just fed up, I guess. But they’ll get past it. C’mon, let’s not let it spoil our day.”

“Alright,” he said moodily. “Oh, wait, didn’t you say you needed another Sneakoscope?”

“Yeah, I did,” Sirius replied perking up.

James snatched one off the rack and smiled at him. “It’s on me,” he said, before turning and walking towards the counter.

***

~S~

Sirius spent the rest of the Hogsmeade trip determined to cheer James up. What were best mates for, after all?

They went to Honeydukes and stocked up on all the candy they could carry.

He would be spending his holidays with James, as usual, and they always brought home copious amounts of sweets and hid them in James’ nightstand. They’d stay up most nights, chomping down on licorice or toffees, feeling giddy over their secret stash, and talking and laughing into the wee hours of the morning. James was an only child and doted on by his parents and Sirius had no doubt they would have given him all the candy he wanted, if he’d simply just ask, but that wasn’t nearly as much fun as having their _private stash_ and feeling like rebels. Plus, Muggle candy just wasn’t nearly as good, or as _entertaining_ , as wizard’s candy. 

James dumped a pile of Pumpkin Pasties, Chocolate Frogs, and Crystallised Pineapple onto the counter whilst Sirius tossed some Ice Mice and Acid Pops on top for good measure. It was also tradition that James _paid_ for their stash.

James smirked at Sirius’ selections.

“Are you really planning on eating those?”

“Of course not! Thought I’d try them out on Snivellus,” he said smirking.

“And you lot say _I’m_ juvenile?”

“Hey, for the record, _Remus_ was the one that said that, not me,” Sirius said holding up his hands in protest.

“Right.”

And then James punched him in the side of the arm.

“Hey! Just because you _have_ muscles, does _not_ mean you’re allowed to _use_ them…except for in a Quidditch match, of course.”

“Well, I don’t see a _Quaffle_ around here, so I guess you’ll just have to suffice.”

“I’ve always _dreamed_ of being compared to a Quaffle,” Sirius cooed, batting his eyelashes and starting to laugh.

“Tosspot,” James muttered, grinning.

Just then a group of girls walked by and gawked at Sirius, giggling and blushing.

“Oh, look, it’s your _fan club_ ,” James said rather peevishly.

“Well, you’d have one, too, if you weren’t always chasing after _Lily_ …I mean…uh…”

James sighed. “Yeah, you’re probably right. Guess I should ask you for some tips since you _are_ the expert with the ladies." He finished paying and they started walking towards the door.

“Experienced _yes_ , expert…by no means.”

“Well, you’ve certainly had more _experience_ than the three of us _combined_ ,” James said, gesturing towards Remus and Peter who were standing under a lamppost talking.

“Yeah, well, it’s just _snogging_ ,” Sirius replied, unable to hide his irritation. “You’re not missing that much.”

“Well, I’ve only had a few snogs, _as you know_ , and they never went well.”

“Yeah, I remember…” Sirius said darkly. “Whose mouth was it that you sneezed in, again?” He started to laugh as he shoved against James’ shoulder.

“Ha-bloody-ha. Very funny. Let’s not re-hash that _unfortunate event_ again. I can only stand so much _humiliation_ in one day.”

“Alright, alright, let’s head back to the castle and I’ll let you beat me in a game of Wizard’s Chess. Loser has to snog the Fat Lady.”

James let out a snort and bumped against his side.

Sirius grinned into his scarf and shoved his hands inside his pockets, thinking that maybe the day wouldn’t be such a total waste after all. 

***

~J~

The next few days passed in a blur as they spent most of their time studying for their final exams. The last week of term would be brutal, but then they’d be on holiday for nearly a month, so at least there was something to look forward to.

James was just heading back to the Gryffindor Common Room after his last Quidditch practice when he turned a corner and ran right into his least favorite person in all the world.

“Hey, _Snivellus_. Who let you out of your dungeon? Don’t you turn into some kind of hideous vermin at the stroke of midnight?”

Snape glared at him with cold, black eyes, his sallow face impassive. 

“Yeah, that’s what I thought. A great, black, greasy BAT. Better get a move on. I‘ll be sure to tell _Lil_ you said ‘hi’,” he goaded with a smirk.

Grimacing slightly, but not uttering a word, Snape shoved past him and glided off to his dorm, his black robe billowing behind him like a cape. 

_That should drive the beady-eyed prick mental for a while._

He knew it would boil Snape’s blood to hear him say, “Lil”—the toerag’s pet name for Lily.

He said the password to the Fat Lady, _Lemon Horklump_ , and climbed through the Gryffindor portrait hole, making a b-line for the stairs, when he noticed Lily, sitting in a chair by the fire. How lucky could he get? As soon as his eyes locked onto hers a huge grin broke across his face. He couldn’t help it.

Lily sighed, closing her eyes, and leaned her head back.

He plopped down in the chair next to her and chewed on his lip.

“Lily?”

“What?”

“Are you asleep?”

“Yes, James, I’m asleep…you git,” she mumbled.

“Lily!” he huffed. “What did I ever do to make you despise me so?”

“James…I’m too tired to rehash all this…”

“Well, what can I do to fix it? _Please_ , Lil, just tell me what I can do…”

“Well, first off you can apologize for your behavior today, it was _completely_ _inappropriate_ , and secondly, you can stop calling me ‘Lil’…That’s reserved for Sev…and my family.”

James scowled. “What do you _see_ in that greasy git? I swear…Is it his sour disposition? His bat-like appearance? Or his obsession with the Dark Arts?”

“And you wonder _why_ I despise you?”

James let out a heavy sigh and rolled his eyes. “Okay, I’m sorry for what I said today. It was daft, I know. But I was desperate! Nothing else has worked…so I decided to try a different tactic.”

“As long as you keep getting pleasure out of torturing Sev, and keep hounding me like a desperate puppy, I have no choice but to avoid you at all costs. Sev is my _best friend_ , and I’m _not_ interested in you…I don’t know how many times I have to keep telling you this.”

“I guess until I give up hope…”

“Maybe it’s time for you to let go.”

“Never.”

He gazed into her eyes with a desperate fervency and watched with satisfaction as her mouth fell open.

_Maybe she finally sees how serious I am._

“You just never give up, do you?” she asked, smiling tiredly.

“No, I don’t. I never give up on a Quaffle, and I won’t give up on _you_.”

“That may be one of the most original pick-up lines I’ve ever heard,” she chuckled. 

James grinned and raked his fingers back through his curly hair, quite proud of himself.

And then Lily abruptly stood up and started packing her books away.

“Are you going to bed?”

“Yes, I’m exhausted and so behind on my lessons…I don’t know _how_ I’ll ever get it all done. Prefect duties are taking up too much time.”

“Well, you’re always welcome to study with me…and you can copy my Potions work, too!” he said, excitedly glancing at her book and completely forgetting he was absolute rubbish at Potions. 

“Thanks…I’ll let you know.”

He grinned from ear to ear, feeling like he’d just won a Quidditch match.

“Night, James.”

“Night!”

He was so excited about their positive interaction that he couldn’t see straight. For once, he felt like there might be the tiniest bit of hope. If Lily was going to fall madly in love with him, she’d at least need to _tolerate_ him first.

They were well on their way to a happy union.

He ran up the stairs grinning and taking two at a time, so excited to tell the other boys, but when he got to their room he found it dark and all the curtains drawn around their beds.

But he just _had_ to tell someone, so he flicked on his bedside lamp and walked over to Sirius’ four-poster, peeping his head through the embroidered, maroon and gold curtains.

“Sirius?”

“Hmm?”

“Sirius, I’ve gotta tell you something!”

“What? And it better be bloody _important_ for you to wake me up,” he hissed.

“How are you even asleep this early?”

“Because you nearly _killed_ me in Quidditch practice...Now, why’d you wake me?”

“Oh, um…because I just talked to Lily and she was, I dunno... _different_. She didn’t bite my head off, and she even said she might study with me. Can you _believe_ it?!”

“James, I’m going to _kill_ you. You woke me up for THAT?! You blaggard.”

“Well, I thought you’d be happy for me! Things might finally be going in my favor, and as my _best mate_ , I thought you’d be glad, _overjoyed_ even…”

Sirius grimaced and fell back on his pillows.

“Okay, James I’m _thrilled_ for you. Over-the-damn-moon. Now, can I _please_ go back to sleep?”

“Yeah, fine, but don’t expect me to do a bloody tap dance when you finally get the girl of your _dreams_ …whoever _that_ might be,” he said in a huff as he slammed the curtains shut.

***

~S~

“Don’t think that will be a problem,” Sirius muttered under his breath.

He rolled over and exhaled, wondering what this new development would mean.

 _Nothing good,_ he thought.

***


	3. A Sirius Mistake

***

~S~

James would _not_ shut up about his “positive” interaction with Lily the previous night and Sirius was at his wits end with the whole ordeal, wanting nothing more than to shove an Acid Pop down his throat.

Remus and Peter were indifferent, which of course irritated James to no end and meant he kept rehashing it with Sirius instead. 

As he and James were walking downstairs to the common room, James caught sight of Lily climbing out of the portrait hole and promptly shoved him to the side, bolting towards her.

Sirius stomped after him, grinding his teeth the entire way, and wishing he had an Acid Pop in his pocket. He finally caught up with them just in time to hear James prattling on about exams. Lily didn’t seem the least bit keen on him like he’d alluded to. Yes, she wasn’t _yelling_ at him to go away, but other than that, he didn’t notice a visible difference in her behavior. 

They walked into the Potion’s classroom, with James still completely ignoring him as he yapped like a hyper dog, and then Lily started laughing at something he’d said and Sirius glared daggers at the back of her head.

If looks could kill.

 _She’s probably just laughing so he’ll shut the hell up,_ he thought with a sneer.

Finally, the two parted ways and Lily went straight to Snivellus, who looked about ready to implode himself.

_Yeah, I know the feeling, you cocknose._

Sirius couldn’t help but notice James’ immediate deflation as soon as he saw Lily touching Snape.

The girl was running her fingers through the bat’s greasy hair as a sickeningly orgasmic expression crossed his face.

_Why is she always touching his hair?! Dear god, she’s mental!”_

“Bloody disgusting…”

“Yeah, it is…” James said miserably next to him.

Snape and Lily continued to flirt shamelessly throughout the entire lesson, so much so that Sirius had to help James with his potion numerous times because he wasn’t paying proper attention (which was really saying something considering Sirius was _terrible_ at potions.)

The lesson finally ended and they started packing up their bags.

Sirius looked up to see Lily staring in their direction and he glared back at her with all the hate and malice he could muster. She quickly looked away, obviously flustered by his death-stare (he had been perfecting it his entire life, after all.)

_How dare she hurt James like that…leading him on and then purposefully flirting right in front of him...That cow…_

He’d had enough of her games.

What did James see in her anyway?

He watched as James quietly packed his books away, looking completely dejected and on the verge of tears.

And then a very wicked thought occurred to him.

Maybe there was a way he could end this thing once and for all...

~~~

After lessons were over, he ran up to his room and grabbed a piece of parchment and a quill. He knew that Lily was meeting Snape in the library that night to study; he’d overheard her telling Alice Walters about it in the hallway. The information could be used to his advantage.

He scribbled:

_Lil, forget the library. I need another adventure like we had in the Prefect’s bathroom. Meet me by the Whomping Willow at seven o’clock._

_-Sev_

 _Yes, that should do it,_ he thought with a smug grin. He also knew that the part about the “Prefect’s bathroom” was key. Little did Lily know, James made it his _hobby_ to regularly stalk her on their Marauder’s map. He hated that he used it for such a purpose, but he couldn’t stop him.

He pocketed the note and ran down to the Great Hall for supper.

It was painfully awkward having to sit at the same table as Lily. He couldn’t bear to look at her, but she never seemed to notice because James was practically in her lap, chattering away, ecstatic to have her full attention once again.

_What in the bloody hell? One minute he’s crying because she’s flirting with Snivellus, and then the next, he’s all over her?_

His blood was starting to boil over.

Finally having enough of it, he abruptly stood up and stalked out of the Great Hall. He hid in the shadows and watched Lily, waiting for her to get up, and as soon as he saw her leaving he grabbed a student, shoved the note into his hands, and said to give it to the girl walking their way.

The trap was set.

And then he ran out the doors of the castle and straight towards the Whomping Willow, his path illuminated by the light of the full moon.

***

~J~

James’ head shot up as Sirius ran out of the room, and then he remembered that it was the full moon and they’d be spending the night under the Whomping Willow, entertaining a very hairy, and very _disgruntled_ Remus.

Lily’s behavior towards him was such a roller coaster that he’d pretty much forgotten about everything else. One minute he was thrilled to have her attention, and then the next, completely depressed by her rejection...

She was starting to give him whiplash.

He stabbed his treacle tart with his fork, feeling sorry for himself and frustrated, when Peter nudged him under the table and shot him a “Time to go” look.

He exhaled miserably and stood up, smoothing down his grey trousers.

 _Full Moon Duty_ was officially commencing. 

***

~S~

Sirius was already waiting by the entrance to the Whomping Willow when he heard a shrill voice coming from outside.

It was _her_.

He opened the secret door, remaining in the shadows.

_Show time._

“Lil? Lil, is that you?” he called out in his best Snivellus impersonation.

“Sev?”

He could see the outline of her figure walking closer and closer to the entrance.

“Sev, what are you doing?! And how did you find this?”

Sirius took his chance and grabbed her by the wrist, yanking her through the opening and on top of himself. They fell to the dirt in a heap and he quickly conjured a blue light that shimmered in the air above them. Panting, and full of suppressed rage, he peered down at her. Her face was ghostly white as a look of horror flashed across her green eyes.

“Sirius?!”

He grimaced at hearing her say his name and grabbed her arm, roughly pulling her up on her feet. Forgetting his original plan, because another one had just popped into his head, he slammed her against the wall, and before she could even let out a scream, he covered her mouth with his hand. Her whole body was trembling from head to toe, and he suddenly wasn’t sure he had the courage to do what he wanted to, but the rage in his veins urged him on. He removed his hand and smashed their lips together, kissing her hard, _furiously_ , yet she remained motionless, frozen, not returning his assault or even trying to fight back.

And then he started to feel _sick_.

Everything felt wrong.

A desperate attempt to prove something gone terribly, terribly wrong.

This wasn’t about _fancying_ Lily. It was about _revenge_ , and taking something that James had desperately wanted for six years.

Lily suddenly stiffened and shoved him backwards. She slapped him hard across the face and followed with a swift knee to the groin.

He hit the ground hard and started writhing in pain as he tried to suck in air.

“WHAT IS _WRONG_ WITH YOU?!” she screamed at the top of her lungs.

All he could do was grunt and remain in the fetal position, in too much pain to speak.

“ANSWER ME YOU ARSEHOLE! HOW _DARE_ YOU!”

“I…I just wanted to know…” he croaked from the floor.

“You WHAT?” she screamed, completely hysterical now.

“I…I just wanted to understand…to understand…why he…” Sirius trailed off with a groan, unable to finish.

“What in the HELL are you talking about!?”

He curled up in a ball and started to shake, and to his complete horror, hot tears started pouring down his face. He tried with all his might to hold back the sob welling up in his chest, but it was too late.

And then there was another sound, an eerie, bone-chilling sound echoing through the tunnels.

A howl, mournful and deep.

He knew that sound all too well.

But Lily had never heard it before.

He looked up to see her eyes bulging out of their sockets as her chest rapidly rose and fell.

“Oh, god…oh no…no… _bloody hell_ ,” he groaned.

“What in the _hell_ was that?” she hissed.

“You gotta get out…NOW!”

“But what about _you_?” she screeched.

“I’ll be fine…just go…I…I’m sorry…this happened. Just please, _please leave_.”

“How?!” she shrieked.

“The way you came in. Just step on that ledge and boost yourself out.”

He was on all fours now, panting, his dark hair shrouding his pained face.

“Okay,” she said reluctantly, glancing back at him with a confused expression.

He watched as she pulled herself up and out, his body immediately sagging with relief. At least she was safe now.

He couldn’t believe what had just happened. He was clearly more fucked up than he’d ever imagined. He’d let his jealousy completely over take him; turn into a boiling fury. It had created this whole _nightmare_. He hated Lily for not loving James, and he hated James for loving Lily. It was a never ending cycle of torment.

His original plan had been to lure her down to the Whoming Willow, knowing full well that Remus would be there on the full moon, but he never planned to actually let him _attack_ her. In his anger, he just wanted to scare her, and in the very back of his mind, maybe _kiss_ _her_ , and see what all the fuss was about. In a twisted way, he felt if he could have her, he’d be closer to James, or he could at least take what James wanted most…

It was all a tangled mess inside his head.

But one thing he knew for sure, from this moment on, nothing would ever be the same: his friendship with James, being a student at Hogwarts, a Marauder…all of it would end.

He’d made a _serious mistake_ and would probably pay for it the rest of his life.

Desperate to escape his thoughts, he changed into his Animagus.

***

~J~

James and Peter were just exiting the castle when they saw Snape standing out front and a figure running towards them through the snow.

“Sev!” the person yelled.

James watched in shock as Lily flung herself right in Snape’s arms and buried her face in his chest whilst gasping for air.

Snape grasped her by the arms and held her back. “Lil, Lil what happened? What’s wrong?”

She seemed to be hyperventilating.

Snape cupped her face between his hands. “Lil, it’s okay, just breath. Look at me and just breath.” She stared up at him, and then turned to look at James and Peter, who stared back with mystified expressions. “Sirius…inside the Whomping Willow…a sound…a howl…I ran, tripped…there’s something there,” she panted out, her red hair plastered around her dirt-stained face.

Snape’s whole body stiffened at her words.

James glanced at Peter and they exchanged knowing looks. “Lily, _exactly_ what happened?” he croaked out, clenching his fists.

“I…I can’t…” She let out a sob and clasped onto Snape. The bat stroked her hair and whispered in her ear for a moment, and then glared at James with all the fire of hell. “I don’t know what just happened but if that psycho is responsible for traumatizing her, I swear to god I will kill him with my bare hands.”

“We’ll, take care of it,” James breathed, feeling his stomach lurch as he looked at Peter.

“No!” Lily screeched. “It’s not safe! We need to get help…the Headmaster…”

“No, we know what we’re doing. It’s okay!” James barked. He nodded at Peter and then they were off, running towards the tree.

~~~

They jumped down the hole, one after another, and hit the ground hard before standing up and blinking in the low light.

And that’s when he saw him—Sirius, crouched in a corner in the form of a shaggy, black dog.

“What in the HELL did you do to her?!” James bellowed, rushing towards him.

Sirius held his head up and growled, baring long, white fangs dripping with slobber.

Peter half hid behind James, clearly opting not to join the fight.

“ANSWER ME!” James screamed, his body shaking.

Silence.

“Turn back, turn back right NOW and answer me like a man, damn it! Or I swear to god I’ll tell everyone what you are!”

Sirius snorted and growled again, and then slowly, the black, shaggy hair disappeared and was replaced with skin and clothes as he morphed back into his human form. He stared down at the ground, refusing to meet James’ eyes.

In an instant, James rushed towards him, shoving him hard up against the wall, a cloud of dust swirling around them as bits of dirt and roots scattered to the ground. Sirius grunted in pain, but still, he didn’t fight back.

“ANSWER ME, DAMN IT!” James yelled in his face, feeling like he might actually _kill_ him.

Silence.

“What. Did. You. Do?” he hissed through gritted teeth, less than an inch from his face now.

Sirius swallowed hard, still refusing to look him in the eye, and to his complete shock, a single tear dripped down his cheek. As if realizing what he’d done, Sirius shot his eyes up, a look of horror crossing his face.

James flinched, instantly dropping his hands from his shoulders, and backed away.

“What in the hell is WRONG with you?!”

“I…I’m sorry. What h-happened was an accident,” Sirius stammered. “I…I never meant for… _this_ to happen. I forgot about Remus…and then…Lily was there…she fell down the hole…he howled…and then she ran away…”

James glared at him, his green eyes snapping.

“And that’s the full story, huh? Nothing else happened?”

Sirius stared at the ground and rubbed the back of his neck, sniffling.

“Then explain to me why Lily saw _you_ poking your head out of the tree? And why she was near enough to fall inside it in the first place?” His voice was low and laced with fury.

“I…I was getting impatient waiting on you guys…and I saw a shape and thought it was one of you, and I called out…and then she came.”

“Really?” James hissed. “I don’t believe you. You know the protocol. How many moons have we been doing this? Why today did you decide to break the rules and get impatient? Didn’t you know you were endangering ALL of us, but especially _Remus_? How dare you be so careless! And to top it off, you put _Lily_ in danger. Of all people! God, if anything had happened to her…I swear…”

“I KNOW, OKAY!” Sirius screamed, his voice echoing through the tunnels. “I KNOW! She’s the most precious, wonderful creature to ever draw breath on the whole goddamned EARTH!” he bellowed. “But there are more important things than LILY EVANS! You’ve been following her around like a desperate, pathetic puppy for years now, and have you ever noticed that she IS. NOT. INTERESTED. IN. YOU?! Like, AT ALL?! How can _anybody_ be so BLOODY thick?!”

James’ started to shake uncontrollably; one more word and he would attack.

***

~S~

Sirius exhaled, feeling completely empty and hollow. He stared at the ground for a moment. “Forget it,” he finally said. “I can’t play guardian tonight. You two are on your own.” He made his way towards the exit, walking past James.

“I always knew you were a coward, Sirius Black. Now you’ve _proven_ it,” James hissed.

Sirius turned back and glared at him; the look of complete disgust in James’ eyes the most terrifying thing he’d ever seen—and he’d seen some truly _terrible_ things. He whipped his head back around, trying desperately to hide the hurt and pain in his own eyes, and began climbing up.

Remus let out another miserable, grief-stricken howl, and in that moment, Sirius knew _exactly_ how he felt.

***

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lots of drama here, I know! Just hang in there!🤗


	4. Truth and Consequences

***

~S~

Sirius went straight to his room and collapsed on his bed, crying for most of the night and only finding sleep for a few hours. His life was over, he was certain of it. While he’d managed to get away with countless pranks over his six years at Hogwarts, some definitely bordering on means for expulsion, this took the cake. He finally went too far. And what he’d done wasn’t really even a _prank_ at all…but a colossal release of pent-up fury. Six years of it to be exact.

He deliberately woke up early the next morning, wanting to leave before the others came back (they normally returned at dawn after the full moon and slept late). And he also desperately wanted to find Lily and apologize, not that it would make much of a difference. Being expelled seemed like his most probable fate. 

He cursed the fact that he had exams that day. How could he possibly concentrate on anything? But they probably wouldn’t really matter anyways…not if he was going to be kicked out of Hogwarts.

He went down for breakfast, but didn’t see anyone there. Either Lily had already eaten, or she’d over-slept. So he went back to the portrait hole with a growling stomach, praying he hadn’t missed her.

He whipped around the corner and crashed into someone.

“Lily! I was looking for you!” he gasped.

“Oh!” she replied, clearly taken off guard.

“Look, I just wanted to say—I’m _so sorry_ about what I did last night…There are no words…” He clutched at his throat, suddenly feeling strangled and trying to keep his emotions at bay.

“It’s okay….”

“No, it’s _not_ okay What I did was _not okay_ …It wasn’t a prank…and I don’t fancy you like that…god, it’s just…It’s the _greatest secret_ of my life and I don’t know how to explain. I mean, I’ve never talked about it…with _anyone_. Maybe one day I’ll be able to…but I just _can’t_ right now. Does that make any sense?”

He knew he was rambling.

“I think so…” she replied, looking confused.

“Look, I’ve got to get to my exam, but _please_ accept my apology, and if you want to report what I did to the Headmaster…Well, I’d totally understand,” he said, looking down at the ground and feeling like he was literally about to die.

What felt like an eternity of silence passed between them.

“Sirius, I forgive you. And I’m not going to tell. I believe you…And I hope one day you’ll be free of this… _secret_ …”

He looked up at her with wide eyes.

“I doubt I ever will…but thanks…”

“Oh, and if you ever touch me like that again—I will do worse things than knee you in the groin,” she said with a tight smile before walking away.

He winced.

“I don’t doubt it…”

And then the reality hit him.

_She’s not going to tell._

He was prepared to be expelled… _and_ for her to beat the living crap out of him again. How was this possible? He shook his head. Why was she showing him such mercy after what he’d done?

He didn’t deserve it.

He continued walking to his exam in a daze.

***

~J~

James wasn’t surprised when he didn’t find Sirius in their dorm room that morning. He, Remus, and Peter had come in at dawn and slept past breakfast, like normal.

_Why did the full moon have to fall on exams?_

He wanted to pull his hair out. And why couldn’t the Headmaster cut them some slack? Well, maybe if he actually _knew_ that he, Peter, and Sirius were all unregistered Animagi that helped Remus every full moon, he _would_. Unfortunately, (and _fortunately_ ) he was only aware of Remus’ predicament.

He was exhausted and his mind was a tangled mess. He still didn’t have all the facts about what took place the previous night, but he knew whatever it was, it was _bad_. Already, he wasn’t sure if he could ever forgive Sirius. He didn’t think he could bear to see him or speak to him. With his blood still boiling he knew things wouldn’t end well…

But he’d _have_ to see him at his exam, and was already filled with dread.

~~~

James walked into the classroom and immediately saw Sirius, slumped over their table with his head in his hands.

He walked over stiffly and sat down, not saying a word, determined to hold his ground.

But he could _feel_ Sirius staring at him, constantly shooting him hopeful glances during the exam, yet he refused to acknowledge him. Sirius didn’t deserve his attention.

He finished his work in record time, not even caring if it was his best, and hastened to the front of the class to turn in his parchments. He stalked past Sirius on his way out without even a second glance.

But the tension was so palpable he felt liable to snap.

When he finally made it out into the corridor he sucked in cool air and rolled his shoulders several times, sore from sitting in such a rigid state for so long.

And at lunch, he sat with Peter, grateful that Sirius didn’t show up. Lily wasn’t there either and he wondered if she was okay. He chewed his food in a daze, thinking that everything had lost its taste.

***

~S~

Sirius felt sick that James had completely ignored him. But what did he expect? James knew he had lied about what had happened, and would probably never forgive him for it. They didn’t keep secrets from each other. But then again, James probably wouldn’t forgive him if he knew the _truth_...

So either way he was screwed.

But how could he go on without him?

The truth was, James was the _only_ person he ever had, or ever would, _love_.

That was the real clincher.

That was what this all boiled down to.

Sirius had loved James Peverell Potter, truly, desperately, _violently_ for six-bloody-years with no hope of ever having that love returned.

This unrequited passion had clearly turned him into a monster…a _raging beast_. He was worse than Remus! Moony at least wasn’t a monster by choice, he was just an innocent victim, whilst it was entirely Sirius’ choices that had led him to this moment…to this _nightmare_ …and he wasn’t sure if he’d ever wake up from it.

It would have been better to love James from afar than lose him all together.

***

~S~

Sirius finished his last exams in a blur and headed towards the Great Hall for supper, completely resigned to the fact that life as he knew it was over. This was just something they could never come back from. Not only did he betray James' trust, but he betrayed their _friendship_ by deliberately attacking _Lily_ …of all people.

 _There’s really nothing worse I could have done…_ he thought, his heart so heavy he felt it’d slip right out of his chest.

He would have preferred to skip supper, but because he’d skipped lunch (and breakfast), his aching stomach wouldn’t allow it.

Upon entering the Hall he immediately laid eyes on James and Peter. They were sitting at the Gryffindor table laughing about something.

His heart sank even further.

Things would never be the same. He’d never be welcomed back...

No one wanted him…not even his own _family,_ for christssakes!

He walked past them, staring straight ahead, and sat down at the end of the table alone. Most of the Hall had already cleared out, but he could feel what few eyes were left on him, probably wondering why in the world he wasn’t sitting with his _group_. The back of his neck prickled and he tried to eat as fast as possible but eventually had to stop, feeling nauseous. He rested his face in his palms and tried to breathe, but the clatter of footsteps made him whip his head up.

Horrified, he saw Snape bolting straight towards him, clad in all black with a murderous look on his pale face.

He skidded to a halt in front of him, “I KNOW WHAT YOU DID! I _KNOW_ WHAT YOU DID TO HER!” he bellowed, his white face contorted with rage.

Sirius gaped at him, his eyes opening wide in shock.

Snape lunged forward, grabbing him by the collar and lifted him off the bench, “Get up and fight me like a man, you _blaggard_!”

“I…I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Sirius stuttered, gasping for breath and clasping his hands around Snape’s thin wrists, trying to pry them off of him.

“You know _exactly_ what I’m talking about, you bastard. And I won’t be satisfied until you’re _dead_.”

Sirius started to shake. Just by the tone of Snape’s voice, he had absolutely _no doubt_ that he would in fact _kill him_. He had no idea how he’d get out of this.

“We duel,” Snape hissed before forcefully shoving him atop the table and jumping up after him, hovering over his body.

And then Lily came bursting into the Hall, screaming, “STOP!” at the top of her lungs.

***

~J~

James was still sitting in shock, his mouth hanging open, unable to move or speak. He’d never, in all his years at Hogwarts, seen Snivellus act like _this_.

The bat was completely unhinged.

And then Lily burst into the room screaming and it dawned on him— _What did Sirius really do to her?_

So many thoughts consumed his brain he couldn’t see straight.

He hadn’t spoken to Sirius since the incident, and still didn’t trust his version of the story. It was a load of old rubbish. He’d assumed he was trying to pull some prank on Snape, and somehow, Lily had gotten in the way and he refused to admit his mistake…But now, he wondered…

“Lily, stay out of this!” Snape hissed, his black eyes snapping.

“YOU—get up and FIGHT ME!” he yelled at Sirius, roughly kicking his leg.

Sirius was now on all fours, and for a moment James worried he was going to transform into his dog form, but then he stood up, clutching his wand in his white knuckled hand.

Snape started stalking towards the opposite end of the table, kicking dishes out of the way, his pale face expressionless and his movements sharp. He turned round and whipped out his wand, holding it up in front of his face. 

“On the count of three…one…two… _three_ …”

“STUPIFY!” Snape bellowed, slashing his arm out before Sirius even had a chance to raise his wand.

Sirius was hurtled backwards in the air, down to the other end of the table, landing with a sickening crack onto a pile of dishes as students jumped back left and right, trying to get out of the line of fire. He groaned and lay there motionless, and without even thinking, James whipped out his wand and struck Snape right in the chest with a stunning spell, violet sparks scattering in the air.

Snape fell forward onto his hands and knees and groaned just as Lily’s ear-piercing shriek echoed throughout the Great Hall.

James wasn’t even sure he wanted to defend Sirius, but he had to do _something_. While he might completely loathe him at the moment, _and may in fact want to kill him himself_ , he wasn’t about to just stand by and watch Snivellus kill him.

Snape caught his breath and barked at Lily to stay where she was. Standing back up, he yelled at Sirius, “Get up you COWARD! I’m not done with you. You’re going to PAY for what you did!”

An eerie silence filled the Hall as all eyes turned to Sirius at the end of the table, lying in the fetal position and groaning. Slowly, he pulled himself up and stood, and by the looks of it, his left wrist was broken. He raised his wand in his trembling right hand and pointed it directly at Snape.

“One…two… _three_ …” Snape hissed. “SECTUMSEPRA!” he bellowed.

“PRETRFICUS TOTA—“ Sirius screamed.

But it was too late.

Snape’s spell had hit Sirius square in the chest and he flew backwards, landing on the table again in a heap, his entire body instantly covered in gaping, red slashes that started pouring his blood out like a river.

James bolted towards him as Lily’s shrieks continued to fill the room. “Sev, MAKE IT STOP! He’s going to die! PLEASE! You can’t do this!” she screamed, grabbing hold of Snape’s pant leg and trying to shake him. “Sev, I swear on my life he did NOT do what you think he did to me. I’ll tell you the truth if you’ll just fix him and come down…I’ll…I’ll even let you use _Legilmency_ on me,” she pleaded.

Snape stared down at her in shock and then absently flicked his wand at Sirius, muttering the counter curse under his breath. Red sparks shot towards him and the bleeding immediately ceased and the slashes began to heal.

James crawled up on the table, sliding in the pool of Sirius’ blood as he reached out for him. He knelt on his knees, gripping him by the shoulders and shaking him. His heart was going a million miles an hour and his brain had already left his body. He hadn’t actually wanted Sirius to _die!_

 _The cuts are healed…the cuts are healed…that’s good…_ he kept thinking. He couldn’t tell if Sirius was even breathing; his face was white and his lips a pale blue.

“Sirius…Sirius? Can you hear me? Sirius! WAKE UP!”

A loud noise made him snap his head up.

Snape had just jumped off the dining table and onto the stone floor, looking completely dazed and half-dead himself (more so than usual). He then took Lily by the arm and started pulling her out of the room.

Overcome with rage, James screamed, “You’re a FREAK and you’ll pay for this you BLOODY BASTARD!”

But Snape didn’t even acknowledge him.

James turned back to Sirius’ limp, unconscious form and grimaced, his heart clenching in his chest. He slid off the table and pulled Sirius along with him, hoisting him over his shoulder.

~~~

James’ back was killing him by the time he got Sirius to the hospital wing. Peter was no help, _as usual_. Sirius was still unconscious, though he’d let out a grunt every now and then, and his wrist definitely appeared to be broken, but Madam Pomfrey would have no trouble mending that.

 _It’ll be fine…he’ll be fine…everything_ _will be…fine…_

James walked through the hospital doors as if he worked there (he might as well have with as much time as he’d spent there from Quidditch injuries) and Madam Pomfrey immediately bustled over to them, clad in her white pointy hat and demanding to know what had happened.

He forgot how shocking he must have looked in blood-soaked trousers, carrying an unconscious, bloody Sirius over his shoulder. But it really wasn't so different from a particularly rough Quidditch match. He gave her a brief explanation (leaving out names and details, of course) and then gingerly lay Sirius down on the nearest bed.

Sirius looked terrible. His dark hair a tangled, bloody mess; his face pale and lifeless, covered with smudges of his own blood.

He looked so… _fragile_.

Pity welled up in James’ chest.

Regardless of what Sirius had done, it pained him to see him like this. Sirius was never _fragile_ …he was the life of the party, the cleverest, the wittiest…the _bravest_...James suddenly remembered calling him a _coward_ and his heart dropped to his stomach.

Peter sat down in a chair and started ferociously biting his nails.

“WORMTAIL, stop that! You know how it drives me _insane_ ,” James yelled. 

Peter flinched and sat on his hands, staring up at him with petrified eyes.

James sighed heavily, frustrated with himself, and continued to stare at Sirius, practically chewing a hole through his lip.

Madam Pomfrey returned with a large silver bottle in her hand.

“Okay, Potter, I’m going to need you to help me get his clothes off so I can assess the damage. I can see his wrist is broken, and he’s clearly lost a lot of blood, but I need to check for other injuries. Here, grab hold of his shoulder and let’s hoist him up higher on the bed.”

James swiftly complied and Sirius let out a moan as they moved him.

“Okay, now let’s gently pull his jumper off and over his head.”

James complied once again and couldn’t help but gasp when he saw the dark bruises blooming all over Sirius’ bare chest, and not only that, but _scars_. He looked closer. Some looked old and white and others seemed freshly left over from Snape’s nasty curse.

He ground his teeth at the sight of them.

“Can you heal these?” he snapped, pointing his finger at them.

“Mmm, I can probably heal the most recent ones, but not the others…They’ve been there for too long,” she said, pushing her spectacles up her nose as she examined Sirius’ chest. 

It wasn’t like James had never seen Sirius shirtless before…But how had he never noticed the scars? _Who did this to him?_ he wondered. _Maybe he’d gotten into some kind of playground fight as a kid…he always was looking for a fight…Or maybe he had some rough falls off his broom when learning to fly…_

They disturbed him nonetheless.

“Alright, now help me with his pants.”

As James started to un-button his trousers, Sirius’ eyes flew open, “James?! _What are you doing?!_ ” he croaked.

“Sirius, it’s _okay_. You’re in the hospital wing and we’re trying to get your pants off because you’re hurt…”

“Oh…” Sirius replied, relief flooding his face, and then he gasped, “ _God_ …my wrist…” His blue eyes started to water.

“Can’t you give him something for the pain?!” James yelped.

“Yes, I can, but first let’s get him undressed. I need to assess his wounds.”

James quickly finished unzipping Sirius’ fly and yanked his pants down his thighs and out from underneath him. He turned and set them on a chair and when he looked back again, Sirius was writhing on the bed in pain, moaning…and wearing only his white briefs, his thigh muscles clenched tight and his abs taut as he gasped for breath.

And something deep inside James snapped.

Something entirely foreign and unexpected.

And then he _panicked_.

He quickly averted his eyes and held his breath, as if it would somehow stop the rush of feelings. His heart was pounding uncontrollably against his ribcage. A bolt of heat coursed through his body, shooting straight to his head and making him feel dizzy.

He glanced over and saw Peter, still biting his nails, his ratty face set in a worried grimace. 

“WORMTAIL, I TOLD YOU TO STOP THAT!” he bellowed.

Peter promptly flew off his chair and ran straight from the room. 

“Potter, keep your voice down!” Madam Pomfrey scolded.

“I…I’m sorry. I’m just _stressed_ ,” he said, kneading his forehead with his fingers.

“Well, your friend will be perfectly fine, so don’t worry. He’ll be back to normal after a few days’ rest.”

“Okay, good,” he breathed, picking up Sirius’ blood-stained pants again, and with shaking hands, folding them neatly before laying them back down on the chair. “Well, I guess I’d better be going then…”

“James? James, don’t leave me, _please!”_ Sirius whined, still squirming on the bed, a sheen of sweat covering his bruised and bare chest.

“Sirius, you’ll be fine…I need to go find Peter…and…and check on Remus. You know, _protocol_ …”

“Oh, okay...yeah,” he heaved. “You’d better go then. But will you come back and visit me?” 

Sirius’ blue eyes were clouded with such a desperate fervency that it almost took his breath away.

“Yes…of course. I’ll come back when I can,” he replied, his eyes narrowing to the purple bruise on his sharp cheekbone. He had _never_ seen Sirius act this needy or vulnerable. What had gotten into him? He’d turned into some kind of crying, emotional sop. Normally, he acted like he didn’t give a shit about anything…didn’t need anyone, and would literally _die_ before shedding a tear or begging for company.

_Strange…_

He rested his hand on Sirius’ bare shoulder, feeling him immediately relax under his touch. 

Sirius stared up at him with watery eyes, silently pleading for him to stay. 

But he couldn’t.

There was a much more pressing matter at hand. Something serious he had to get to the bottom of.

“I’ll come back as soon as I can…” he said in a strained voice.

“Okay, thanks,” Sirius replied, grimacing as Madam Pomfrey touched his broken wrist. 

James turned his back and started to leave, but then, feeling as if he’d left something important behind, he turned round one last time and glanced at Sirius, who was still watching him intently, _hopefully_ …

He turned back around, his nostrils flaring, and walked out the door.

~~~

After apologizing to Peter for his angry outburst, and checking to see that Remus was still resting and recovering from his transformation, James collapsed in a chair in front of the fire in the Gryffindor common room, just wanting to get lost in his thoughts…to be anywhere but _here_.

A few moments later he heard someone come through the portrait hole.

It was Lily.

And for once he didn’t feel the urge to pester her.

_What in the bloody hell is wrong with me?!_

“Hey, James,” she said, walking over to him.

“Hey, Lily,” he replied flatly.

“So, um, is Sirius gonna be okay?”

“Yeah…Madam Pomfrey said he’d need a couple days to recover, but he’ll be back to normal,” he replied, staring in the fire.

“Okay, good. Look, I’m sorry that all this happened…It’s just been a big _misunderstanding_. Did Sirius ever explain everything?”

James snapped his eyes to hers. “Well, he gave a _version_ of the story, but he certainly didn’t give the full truth.” He swallowed hard before asking, “Did he hurt you, Lily?”

“Well, he was a little rough and gripped my shoulders too tight…but then I slapped him across the face and kneed him so hard in the groin he fell backwards…and then, I ran away,” she said with shrug. 

“Merlin…But why did he attack you in the first place?”

“I…I’m not exactly sure but I have my suspicions...I think one day he’ll explain it all to you. He was just very _angry_ about something and he took it out on me…Not that that's okay...Just know—I don’t take it _personally_. Sirius has apologized to me a number of times and I believe he’s _sincere_. He even said he’d understand if I told the Headmaster.”

“Really?”

“Yes.”

“But he could be expelled for his behavior…”

“I know. That’s how sorry he was.”

“Bloody hell…I don’t even know who he is anymore,” James said closing his eyes.

“Well, I think the old Sirius you knew is changing…growing up…I don’t know…but you’re his best friend and I’m sure he’ll explain it all to you one day.”

“Yeah, I hope so.”

“Well, night, James. And don’t be too hard on Sev. He was just defending my honor. Something I’m sure you would have done as well.”

“Yes, I would have and I hope you know that…” he said determinedly. “I just never thought I’d be defending you from my _best friend_.” He stared back into the fire.

“I know, James.”

He continued to brood, even more troubled than he was before.

 _So Sirius did attack Lily…He was rough with her but then repented…and it was about someone else and not her…he was changing…what in the bloody hell does all this mean?!_ He tangled his hands in his hair and tugged, feeling as if he were going mad.

And aside from Sirius’ strange behavior, there was still something else clouding his vision.

A _feeling_.

Well, certain bizarre and unprecedented _feelings_ he’d been having recently _towards Sirius_. Or provoked by Sirius. He wasn’t sure. Over the years, certain thoughts had popped into his head, thoughts that completely shocked him. And sometimes, his body would react in a way he didn’t understand. But he kept all this to himself. Who in the bloody hell could he discuss it with, anyway? Normally, he told Sirius everything, but in this case, it was _about Sirius_ , so that wouldn’t do. 

His mind was just running in circles and he couldn’t come to any definite conclusions, so he pried himself off the chair and trudged up to his room.

He’d have to figure it out another day.

***

~S~

Sirius tossed and turned in his hospital bed all night long. The pain in his broken wrist was torturous as the bones began to mend; even after drinking the pain relief potion Madam Pomfrey had given him, he still ached all over. But the worst ache of all was in his _heart_ , and there was no tonic for that. He couldn’t believe that James still cared enough to carry him all the way to the hospital wing, or that he’d so quickly and coldly, _left him_. Any other time, James, Peter, and Remus would have stayed by his side. They were a _team,_ after all. Or at least they _had_ been.

 _But clearly not any more._ _I guess I’ve royally buggered it up this time. I’ve lost James. He doesn’t even look at me the same way…_

But if that were true, then he wondered why James had helped him at all…He could have just left him on the table to die. After all, Snivellus seemed more than willing to finish him off.

He squeezed his eyes shut and prayed for sleep to take him.

~~~

The sound of voices stirred Sirius from his slumber. He slowly opened his eyes, squinting at the bright light. To his right he saw blurry visions of a worried Remus and Peter staring down at him. To his left, Madam Pomfrey stood with another cup-full of the disgusting, sludgy healing potion. The room smelled like herbs and antiseptic making his stomach tighten.

But where was James?

“Sirius,” Remus said with relief. “I heard what happened and came down here as soon as I got up. How do you feel?”

He cleared his dry throat and tried to swallow, “Uh, like I’ve been run over by a bloody train, thanks.” He reached for the glass of water on the table and Remus quickly handed it to him.

“Well, I guess that’s better than it could be…At least you’re _alive,_ I mean,” Remus said with a half-smile. He had dark circles under his eyes from his recent transformation and looked barely alive himself.

“Yeah, I guess…” Sirius trailed off, sipping his water. “So, where’s James? He said he’d come back.”

“Uh, he had a couple of exams today and needed to get some extra studying in…”

“We _all_ have exams,” Sirius said bitterly.

Madam Pomfrey cleared her throat. “Yes, about your exams, Sirius, I’ve checked with your professors and they all agreed that you can take your two exams meant for today, _tomorrow_ instead. I’ll let you leave the hospital this afternoon and you can return to your dorm. That wrist is nearly healed and I want you to stay here and rest until it does, but your friends are more than welcome to come here and help you study if you like.”

“Okay, thanks…” he said. “Peter, do you think you could run up to the dorm and get my books?”

“Sure!” Peter exclaimed before scampering off.

“And I’ll come back in between my classes and we can study a bit,” Remus said, patting his shoulder lightly.

“Yeah, good…and tell James…tell him that…never mind. Thanks for coming, Remus, and I’ll see you later.”

“Of course! Hey, cheer up mate, it’s almost Christmas break. Everything will be better in a few days.”

“Yeah, I hope so,” Sirius muttered, his heart tightening.

***

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Poor Padfoot! *Cries in a corner*😭 If you survived this chapter you deserve a Chocolate Frog!🍫🐸 Keep in mind that Sirius is a very troubled boy and that what he did to Lily will be dealt with more as this story goes on.


	5. Strange Magic

***

~J~

James just couldn’t bear to go and visit Sirius again. His mind was still reeling from everything that had happened and the surge of strange feelings he’d felt towards him. He wasn’t sure how he’d even made it through his exams.

Walking through the Great Hall in a daze, he was startled when he looked up and saw Lily waving at him. He walked towards her, confused.

“Hi! I was just wondering how Sirius was?”

“Oh, um…yeah, I haven’t gone to see him today. Been too busy with exams,” he replied with a shrug.

“Oh, well I’m sure he misses you…I mean _wishes_ you had time,” she corrected, her face turning red.

James looked at her questionably, “Lily, is there something you’re not telling me?”

“What? Uh, no…I’m just surprised you haven’t seen him, that’s all.”

“Yeah, well he’s a bloody git for doing what he did, and I’m still not sure if I _forgive_ him, much less want to be his best mate anymore.”

“Okay,” she said, her eyes going wide. “Well, I wouldn’t give him too hard of a time if I were you…I mean his _secret_ …” and then she stopped abruptly, looking as if she’d said too much.

“His _what?”_ he snapped.

“Uh…which part?”

“His secret. You said something about a _secret_.”

“Oh, um _that_ …well, yeah he might have mentioned something about a secret. I don’t know what it is, mind you. But…uh, he said it was because of a _secret_ that he attacked me that night.”

“That’s interesting,” he said coolly, “because Sirius and I don’t keep secrets from each other…”

“Well, I’m pretty sure this is something you _don’t_ know.”

“Like what?” he asked, his green eyes narrowing.

“Uh, look it’s not my secret to tell. I’ve said enough. You’re just gonna have to find out from him. Sorry,” she said before walking away.

Even more confused and frustrated than he already was, James stalked out of the Great Hall, angrily running his hands back through his hair—and for once, he wasn’t doing it to impress Lily. 

***

~S~

Sirius was back in his dorm, lying in bed, and still thinking about how James hadn’t come to visit him _once_ in the hospital wing.

_So much for best mates…together through thick and thin…_

But he knew it was foolish to even get his hopes up.

He tried to fall asleep but just couldn’t turn his brain off. It was almost time to leave on holiday and normally he spent his at the Potter’s, but now, with how things stood…he wasn’t sure if he’d even have a place to go. His family certainly didn’t want him.

He guessed he’d have to stay at Hogwarts over the break…like all the other pathetic losers.

***

~J~

James felt bad for not checking in on Sirius all day, but he was still too angry and confused, and the sight of him certainly wouldn’t help matters.

He crept into their dorm room, hoping Sirius would already be asleep and he could avoid any awkward confrontations.

“James?”

 _Bloody hell_.

“Uh, yeah, what is it?”

He reluctantly padded over to Sirius’ bed which was only a few feet from his own. He could just see Sirius’ outline as he was propped up against the headboard, the tips of his dark hair and cheekbone illuminated by moonlight.

“Well…I was just wondering if the offer still stood to stay with you over Christmas break or if…or if I should make other arrangements?” Sirius asked, just above a whisper.

“Oh, um, yeah I hadn’t really thought about it…”

He had _completely_ forgotten about Sirius spending the next few weeks at his house. He couldn’t exactly tell him “no”…it’s not like he had any other place to go.

“Yeah, of course you’re still coming home with me…”

“Really?”

“Yeah…I mean look, I’m still _pissed_ about what you did…but we can talk about that later...”

“Oh. Of course…I understand.”

“Okay, well, night.”

“Night.”

***

~S~

Sirius rolled over and tried to suppress the tears welling up in his eyes.

 _Bloody hell, when did I become such an emotional git?_ he thought, trying to sniffle quietly.

He’d like to say that he was relieved he’d be going home with James, but his heart clenched painfully at the thought of it. He hated having James mad at him, and dreaded the idea of spending nearly an entire month with him if it was going to be this excruciatingly awkward.

***

~J~

James crawled into his bed and sighed.

_Well, that was uncomfortable._

He had a feeling this holiday with Sirius would somehow be different than all the previous ones. For one, he wasn’t sure if things could ever truly be the same after what Sirius had done, and two, he had a feeling that this “secret” of Sirius’ would somehow put a wedge between them.

It clearly already _had_.

Things were changing and it made his stomach turn.

Not wanting to think about it anymore, he yanked the covers up to his chin and clamped his eyes shut.

***

~S~

Sirius survived his exams the next day, though he wasn’t even sure _how._

James had been cordial to him at breakfast and lunch and he was shocked to see that Remus and Peter treated him like normal.

_Remus must not know what happened…and Peter will do whatever the others do…_

Clearly, they were taking their lead from James. But why hadn’t he turned them all against him? Now he was even more bewildered. Nothing was panning out like he’d expected. Lily magically forgave him and he wouldn’t be expelled; Remus and Peter acted like nothing out of the ordinary had happened, and he was still going on holiday with James…

_This is insane._

And to top it off, Snivellus wasn’t still trying to kill him. In fact every time he even glanced at the greasy bat, Snape would look him up and down suspiciously, and then shoot him this despicable, knowing smirk. _Why in the hell is he acting like that?!_

Completely mystified, Sirius trudged up to his room to start packing.

As he was tossing things haphazardly into his trunk he tried to think of a way to make James understand his actions without giving away his _reasons_. But nothing he thought of sounded convincing.

Suddenly, James came in the room laughing with Remus and Peter, but stopped abruptly as soon as he spotted him.

“Hey!” Remus said. “Are you done packing yet? We’re heading down to the feast if you wanna come.”

“Yeah, I’m almost done, just give me a minute,” he said, shooting a quick, hopeful glance at James.

But James just looked out the window, completely ignoring him.

“Are you guys already packed?”

“Yeah, we finished while you were making up your exams this afternoon…” Remus said. “So does your wrist feel back to normal?”

“Yeah, I think so, though it’s still a bit sore,” he replied, gingerly flexing his fingers. “But I should be back to normal come Quidditch practice, if that’s what you’re worried about." 

“Oh, I have no doubt you could still catch a Quaffle with one arm,” Remus replied, grinning.

James continued to ignore the conversation, gazing out the window at the falling snow.

_Look at me, damn it!_

“Alright, well shall we head down then?” 

“Yeah, let’s go,” Sirius replied, trying not to act like his heart was breaking into a million pieces.

***

~J~

The next day they packed their trunks and headed downstairs to wait on the carriages for Hogwarts Station.

Sirius, James, and Remus headed to the castle’s West Tower to fetch their owls from the Owlery, whilst Peter waited behind with his pet rat, Nibbler.

Sirius’ jet black owl, Onyx, was being temperamental, _as usual_ , and refused to get in his cage. They were already running short on time, and Sirius’ temper was clearly running just as short. “FINE! Then I guess you can just stay here, or either fly all the way to the Potter’s sodding house!” he screeched at the defiant bird, his bruised cheeks flushing.

“Wait, I have an idea,” James said, taking out some Crystallised Pineapple from his jacket pocket. “Come here, Onyx, I know you love this stuff,” he said, holding it inside the cage. “That’s a good chap, come on.” The bird quickly obeyed and hopped inside, happily snatching the candy from his fingers and gulping it down. James latched the door shut and looked up at Sirius, who was staring at him in awe.

“That was brilliant. I had no idea he loved that stuff.”

“Well, sometimes when I come up here to give a parcel to Archimedes, I’ll give Onyx some candy, too,” James said with a shrug, not about to tell him he spoiled the bird rotten just as much as his own.

“Oh…well, thanks…He can be a right temperamental git sometimes.”

James shrugged again, trying to act nonchalant and not like he’d been fervently questioning his sexuality, his entire life, and every interaction he’d ever had with Sirius for the past 24 hours. He swallowed down his angst like an Acid Pop and then they hurried back to the castle.

When they arrived they found Peter anxiously hopping from foot to foot as Snape leaned against the stone archway with his arms crossed, looking even more pensive than usual.

“Did we miss the carriages?!” Remus croaked.

“Almost! There’s only one left! Hurry up!” Peter yelped.

 _Fabulous,_ James thought, _and we get to share it with Snivellus._

They quickly loaded their owls and luggage and jumped in the horse-less carriage.

Snape was stiff and tense and kept his eyes focused on everything _but_ them.

How he always managed to remain so stoic, James would never know.

As they were all piling in, Peter tripped over god knows what, pushing Sirius right into James’ lap.

James shrieked like a girl, nearly throwing him from the carriage.

Everyone gaped at him.

Mortified by his own reaction, he stiffened and swallowed hard.

Snape shot him a brief, knowing look and then stared off in the distance again, a smug smile playing at the corner of his thin mouth.

_What is wrong with that tosser?! I swear to god…_

Sirius cursed profusely at Peter’s clumsiness and quickly wedged himself between Remus and James.

To say the ride to the station was awkward and tense was an _understatement_.

The carriage arrived just in time. The station filled with white steam as the train’s deafening, shrill whistle pierced the cold morning air.

James watched as Lily ran straight to Snivellus, throwing her arms around his neck dramatically as he picked her up and held her close. But surprisingly, the romantic scene didn’t enrage him as it would have in the past. He merely frowned and shook his head, and then caught Sirius watching him questionably, his blue eyes narrowed to slits. 

“Come on lads, hurry up!” Peter yelled from the train.

They pulled their trunks and owl cages up whilst Remus followed close behind them.

After finding an empty compartment in the sixth car, they stowed their things and collapsed onto the seats, completely spent.

***

~S~

Sirius glanced over at James who was sitting opposite him in the cabin; he was staring out the window, refusing to acknowledge his presence yet again. It had been like that ever since they’d all shared that awkward carriage ride with Snivellus...

And Sirius suddenly realized that he’d never once made a crack about the greasy git. His heart just wasn’t in it. He didn’t have the energy to torture the bat when his focus was elsewhere…

He stared at James and wondered what he was thinking about. Probably how much he regretted asking him to stay for the holidays…

And as if reading his mind, James’ emerald eyes snapped to his, staring him straight in the face with a blank, passive expression.

Sirius held his breath and stared back, narrowing his eyes. Were they going to have a stare-down now?

But then just as quickly, James looked back out the window.

Sirius swallowed hard, exhaling through his nose and trying to calm his raging heart.

Peter was reading some magazine about rats and Remus had already left for his Prefect meeting, and he wasn’t sure if he’d rather just be alone with James so they could talk it out, or if he’d prefer Remus to come back and help keep the mood light and lessen the tension—he always was the mediator in their group.

 _Something_ needed to happen to break the awkward silence. It was deafening.

***

~J~

James wasn’t trying to be cruel to Sirius. He was more frustrated with _himself_. He was mad about the strange feelings he kept having. Mad that no matter how hard he tried to shove them down, _or pretend they didn’t exist_ , they’d just come right back up again, roaring with a vengeance like a provoked Hungarian Horntail. He just wanted things to be like they were. Why couldn’t he stay best friends with Sirius _and_ keep chasing Lily? That’s what he knew best and what he was comfortable with…but now he found himself thinking _less_ about Lily, and _more_ about Sirius. Why was he ever so obsessed with her in the first place? Maybe Sirius was right and he really was an idiot to keep pursuing her all these years, especially when it seemed she preferred the _bat_ all along.

He let out a frustrated exhale and stared back at Sirius again who was leaning his head against the wall with his eyes closed and one ankle casually propped up on his knee, his hands resting loosely in his lap. James studied him for a long moment, trying to figure out what it was that made him so…so _attractive_? Well, yes he was a very good looking bloke (all the _girls_ certainly thought so...With his stunning, sapphire eyes and great bone structure and such...) but what James really wanted to know was why _he_ found him so appealing. 

_What does he have that Lily doesn’t?_ he wondered.

Sirius shifted his hands in his lap slightly and James followed the movement closely with his eyes. And suddenly, he knew _exactly_ what Sirius had that Lily didn’t. He gulped, feeling his heart skyrocket as a bloom of heat scorched his cheeks. He suddenly felt inexplicably parched and dizzy and that it was much too hot in the blasted, confined place.

***

~S~

Peter snorted loudly and Sirius’ eyes popped open, automatically locking with James’.

James wore an odd expression. Was it anger? No, he looked more _nauseous_ than anything.

Sirius tried to speak but nothing came out. His mouth felt like a desert.

Clearing his throat he croaked out, “James, you look a bit peaky. Are you okay?”

“Huh? Uh, yeah, I think so…” he replied, his voice deep and husky.

Sirius inadvertently shivered, feeling rather nauseous himself.

The trolley appeared at their cabin door and desperate for relief, Sirius immediately jumped up and bought three iced pumpkin juices and some sweets for them. He tossed some toffees at Peter who was still reading his magazine, and then walked over to James and handed him a bottle of pumpkin juice and some Chocolate Frogs, and without even thinking, he reached out his hand and pressed the back of it against his forehead, checking his temperature.

James flinched.

“Sorry, mate, I was just trying to check your temp.”

_I am such a fucking idiot._

“I’m fine,” James said in a clipped tone. “And I’ll pay you back for this,” he said, holding up the Chocolate Frog and scooting closer to the window.

“Don’t worry about it.”

_God, why did I have to touch him!?_

Sirius sat back down and looked out the window, taking a long swig of his pumpkin juice and trying to look at anything _but_ James.

***

~J~

James was staring at Sirius, watching his Adam’s apple bob up and down with each ferocious swallow.

_Why is he drinking like that?!_

He flicked his eyes back to the sweets in his lap and started to slowly un-wrap a Chocolate Frog. Obviously, Sirius remembered they were his _favorite_. But why wouldn’t he? Nothing had changed.

Nothing except _everything_.

He wished that Peter would leave so he could talk to Sirius in private, though he wasn’t even sure what he wanted to say.

Maybe he just wanted to be _alone_ with him.

_Merlin…what in the bloody hell am I thinking?!_

***

~S~

Sirius looked up and noticed James was still staring at him.

_Probably thinking what a toerag I am…_

This time, however, James didn’t look away—he wiped his mouth on his maroon jumper sleeve and then ran his hand back slowly, _deliberately,_ through his glorious, curly hair, never taking his eyes off him. 

_What’s he doing?!_ Sirius panicked, his mouth falling open slightly. He darted his tongue out and licked his lips, narrowing his eyes and trying to return James’ smoldering stare. If _smoldering_ is what it could be called. 

James exhaled shakily and then looked away, gripping his muscular thighs tightly with his hands.

_Those goddamn thighs!_

Sirius watched the movement, mesmerized, and then darted his eyes down to the floor and swallowed. Was it just him or was James somehow egging him on?

_Wait, does he know? Is he suspicious? What if he’s just playing with me? That would be unbearably cruel..._

And then his blood started to boil over.

“WHAT?!” he suddenly shouted, unable to stop himself.

Peter flew off his seat, the rat magazine soaring out of his hands and up towards the ceiling; he hurried to catch it but fell on the floor in a lump.

***

~J~

James stared at Peter in shock, and then back at Sirius, completely baffled by his outburst.

_What in the hell?!_

Peter snatched his magazine and stared between them, his mouth wide open. “I’ll just…uh…go!” he squeaked, quickly turning around and smacking face-first into the glass window. He promptly flung open the sliding door and scampered out of the room. 

Now they were alone.

“What do you mean ‘ _WHAT?_ ’” James spat, his face contorted and his green eyes full of fire.

“I think you know _exactly_ what.”

“No, I don’t. Enlighten me,” he said, crossing his arms over his chest and leaning back.

“Stop _toying_ with me.”

“What in the _bloody hell_ are you talking about?”

“Look, if you don’t want to be my friend anymore, just say it,” Sirius spat, his blue eyes cold as ice.

“I never said I didn’t want to be your _friend_!” James hissed, his face flushing.

“No, but I know that’s how you _feel_.”

“You have no idea what I FEEL!” James bellowed, jumping up.

_To hell with containing my emotions!_

Sirius jumped up, too, chocolate frogs and licorice wands scattering to the floor, and stood in front of him, or more like _under_ him, (James was a good three inches taller, but that was another matter entirely).

They stared at each other for a beat, and then, in an instant, they both lunged forward and grabbed each other by the shoulders, trying to get control over the other.

“You blaggard!” James panted just inches from his face.

“Bastard!” Sirius croaked as James’ hands found his throat, a rush of feelings suddenly sweeping through James’ body, almost making him lose control, but then he shoved him up against the window and pushed him hard into the glass.

Sirius might have been a scrappy fighter and quick, too, but he wasn’t nearly as big nor as _strong_ as James was.

Sirius stared up at him with wide, shocked blue eyes, still struggling to push back, but James merely stiffened his body and refused to budge. He could feel sweat dripping down the side of his face now and he desperately needed to shove a loose curl out of his eye, but he wasn’t about to let Sirius get the upper hand. He thrust him back harder with his body and stared deeply into his eyes, and for a moment, completely forgot why he was ever so mad in the first place.

***

~S~

Sirius glared back at James, panting and wanting nothing more than to punch him in his perfect, posh face, and then, to his complete shock, his body just...relaxed. Despite his raging fury it felt far too good to have James pressed against him like this…with his entire body…so large…so warm. He could smell his intoxicating scent…like warm vanilla sugar…simply irresistible and downright torturous to inhale over the years. He could see the flecks of gold in his green eyes…feel the pounding of his heart as their chests were pressed together. It was like something from one of his fantasies…except in those, James wasn’t trying to _strangle him on a train._

And then his body responded in the most mortifying way.

***

~J~

  
And James was aware of it.

He inhaled sharply and his eyes widened to capacity when he felt Sirius’ hard cock pressing into his thigh, but try as he might, he couldn’t tear his gaze away from those blue, blue eyes. He saw the comprehension dawn on Sirius’ face, watched him swallow hard with embarrassment, but remain as still as a statue. 

A palpable heat and tension enveloped the small room, swirling around them, seeming to hold them captive as they both refused to surrender.

James licked his lips and slid his eyes down to Sirius’ mouth.

“What in the BLOODY HELL is going on here?!” Remus yelled, barging into the cabin.

James jumped back, releasing his grip on Sirius’ throat and leaving a red mark in the shape of his hand. He blinked rapidly and stared at Remus who stood in the doorway gaping. Sirius quickly shoved past him, bolting from the cabin, his hand at his throat.

“Do you want to explain to me what’s just happened?” Remus barked, his amber eyes wild.

“Uh, we had some words.”

“You had some _words_? Whilst trying to _strangle_ him?”

James rolled his eyes and sank down on the bench seat. He wiped the sweat off his face and raked his hair back.

_What just happened?!_

“And where’s Peter? Did you try and kill him, _too_?”

“No! He left of his own free will.”

“Right.”

“Look, you two have got to work this thing out _without_ trying to _kill_ each other. I know you don’t want to forgive him for his prank on Lily…but he is your _oldest and best friend_. Don’t let a girl come between you, mate; that’s rubbish.”

“It’s not even about that!” James snapped, rubbing his sweaty palms up and down his thighs, his face contorted.

“Oh. Well, whatever the issue is, I’m sure you can sort it out. You two have never had a row you couldn’t overcome.”

James huffed and crossed his arms, staring broodingly out the window.

 _If we ever did, this would be it…_ he thought. 

***

~S~

Sirius continued to shove his way through the carriages until he reached the toilets. He flung himself inside one and locked the door before grabbing hold of the sink and staring at himself in the mirror.

He looked a wreck.

_Bloody hell. What just happened?!_

Clearly, the tension had caused them both to lose control. And aside from that, he was _positive_ that James had felt his arousal. _Mortified_ didn’t even begin to describe how he felt. He wasn’t sure if he could ever properly look him in the eye again.

He turned his back to the door and slid down to the floor, clutching his knees and trying to breath.

Where did he go from here? How could he possibly spend the holidays with James after _that_?

He rested his forehead on his knees and exhaled.

And then someone rapped on the door, making him flinch.

“Alright, alright, bloody hell, _calm down_ ,” he hissed opening the door.

It was James.

A look of horror crossed both their faces.

“Oh, sorry…I didn’t know you’d be in here."

“Whatever,” Sirius muttered, staring at the ground before trying to shove past him.

“Wait,” James yelped, grabbing his forearm and tugging him back.

“What?” he snapped, barely able to look at him.

James released his arm. “I…uh…I’m sorry for attacking you like that, okay? Can we just forget about this whole thing and drop it?”

“Sure, I will if you will,” Sirius said, narrowing his steely eyes.

“Okay, deal.”

“Deal,” he hissed before turning on his heel and walking away.

But they were far from a resolution.

***

~J~

James huffed as he entered the loo. He locked the door and rested his head against the cool metal. How could they ever really come back from this? That sort of thing just didn’t happen between friends.

Or did it?

And try as he might, he just couldn’t quit thinking about how Sirius’ body had felt pressed against him, and the horror in his eyes when his…his…

_Bloody hell._

What did this mean? And how in the name of Merlin were they supposed to spend an entire _month_ together now? It would be excruciating…even if he went on pretending like nothing had ever happened. The truth would always be there right between them, begging for acknowledgement; the colossal Hippogriff in the room… 

And he wasn’t sure what embarrassed him more, the fact that Sirius got a hard-on because of him, or the fact that _he_ got a hard-on because of Sirius…Though, thankfully Sirius wasn’t aware of it because he’d bolted from the room so damn fast.

He slid down the back of the door and clutched his knees, trying to breathe.

He had never truly acknowledged the fact that he was attracted to boys—at least to _one of them—_ but now that he thought of it, maybe _that_ was why he’d been so obsessed with Lily all these years…Purposefully chasing the unattainable because what he really wanted…what he really _craved_ …he felt he could never have.

He groaned miserably, raking his hands back through his hair and scrunching his eyes shut.

~~~

Remus looked like he might pass out from the awkward tension enveloping the small cabin. He kept sighing heavily and James was about a second away from lashing out at him, too. He and Sirius hadn’t spoken since they’d returned to the cabin. Both of them had fallen asleep at different times, eyeing the other one whilst they were passed out, but they were awake now, and staring out the window, refusing to make eye contact.

“We should be there soon!” Peter exclaimed looking at his watch.

A few minutes later the train slowed down as they approached the station; thick, white steam clouding the windows as the breaks shrieked like a banshee. After coming to a complete stop, Remus jumped up from his seat and stretched. “Well, I guess this is the end of the line, boys. You lads let me know how your break is, or if you want to get together any time. Just send an owl!”

All three of their owls let out a hoot from the rack above and Peter’s rat Nibbler let out a squeak.

James got up and stretched, still seething and thoroughly confused but trying to contain it, and pulled down his owl, setting him on the floor.

Sirius got up next and retrieved his things, having to stand on his tip-toes to reach them, but James wasn’t about to help him.

And the awkward silence was deafening once again.

“I’ll see you after the break!” Peter yelped before grabbing his trunk and scurrying away, clumsily slamming it into the side of the cabin door.

“Behave yourselves,” Remus said sternly, staring between them with a worried look.

James just glared at him and rolled his eyes. “Sure thing,” he said, his words dripping with sarcasm, about an inch away from shoving Moony up against the window.

Sirius just nodded.

And then they were shoving their way off the train and through the crowds, looking for his parents. They finally saw them, waving in their direction, and he felt a giddy sense of relief.

His dad beamed and embraced him whilst his mum pulled Sirius in for a long hug.

“You two look like you’ve grown a foot!” Euphemia said, holding Sirius out by the shoulders and looking him up and down. “Oh, Sirius you’re even more _handsome_! I bet all the girls are after you!” She smiled slyly. 

James flicked his eyes up, his jaw clenching. 

“Yeah, well I wouldn’t say they _all_ are…but _mostly,_ ” Sirius said with a cheeky grin that made Euphemia laugh.

James rolled his eyes dramatically and then nearly choked as his dad smacked him on the back. “You look good, too, son! I think you’ve gained at least ten pounds of muscle,” he said, sizing him up and pushing his spectacles up his nose.

“Yeah, well Quidditch has been pretty intense this year,” he said proudly, puffing out his chest. 

“Oh, honey you’re growing into such a handsome young man, just like your father,” his mother gushed. “I’m sure you don’t have a problem with the ladies either!” she said, poking his side.

“I do alright,” he replied smoothly, shooting a pointed smirk at Sirius.

Sirius’ mouth fell open slightly, his eyes widening, and then he glared back, steam nearly shooting out of his ears.

And his parents were completely oblivious to the growing hostility between them as they helped them gather their belongings and head towards platform nine and three quarters.

 _This is going to be one hell of a break,_ James thought darkly, pursing his lips and staring at the back of Sirius’ head. 

***

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Finally some ANGST!😍🔥 This is one of my favorite chapters! *Throws Chocolate Frogs and licorice wands in the air*🎉🍫🐸


	6. Wound Up

***

~S~

James and Sirius sat in uncomfortable silence for the entire car ride home whilst James’ mother filled the void with chatter about local news and neighbors.

The Potter’s lived in a rural neighborhood in the county of Cheshire. The town was full of Muggles who worked predominantly in cheese factories, salt mines, and agriculture, and to keep up appearances, the Potter’s ran a bakery called “Buns & More” by day, but by night (and any chance they had) Fleamont and Euphemia Potter worked on brewing new potions. Their particular focus was on creating household products beneficial for witches and wizards. They lived in a large, two-story brick house with a roomy back garden and a little shed where they worked on their brews.

But most importantly, to _Sirius_ , the fridge was always stocked, there were no evil house elves hell-bent on making his life positively miserable, and no younger brothers who _loathed_ him—all things that he’d _very much_ appreciated over the years.

Whilst he normally spent every Christmas break with the Potters, it wasn’t until this year that his mother had officially told him he was no longer welcome at home. Finally fed up with his behavior and refusal to act like a part of the noble _House of Black_ , she literally blasted his name off the ancient family tree that was painted on a tapestry in their home. Sirius figured his parents would be much better off with his younger brother, Regulus— _the pride of the family,_ and was thrilled to never return and thankful that the Potters had agreed to take him in permanently.

He still laughed at the visual of his mother trying to remove any of the Gryffindor memorabilia he’d stuck to his bedroom walls. He had a pretty good feeling she’d never be able to un-do the massively strong sticking charm he’d used to get them up there. The House of Black would forever bear the unsightly stain of Gryffindor on its noble walls. 

The car pulled into the drive and he and James both simultaneously opened their doors and got out. Mr. Potter popped the trunk and they retrieved their things.

“You boys must be tired after your long journey,” Euphemia said. “Go upstairs and rest and I’ll throw something together for dinner.”

***

~J~

James led the way as they trudged up the stairs to his room.

Even though there were two guest rooms in the house it was always tradition that Sirius stay in his room, and as soon as he walked through the doorway and saw the two beds, he realized the set-up might pose a problem.

So did Sirius.

“Uh, I can stay in one of the guest rooms…”

James bit his lip, trying to find the words, just as his father came up behind them carrying their owls. “There you go,” he huffed, setting the cages down on the desk. “Well, it’ll be just like old times won’t it, eh? Except you lads better not stay up all night talking about _girls_ like the old days.”

James grimaced slightly and Sirius stared at the floor.

“Euphemia’s already put fresh sheets on the beds and stocked the bathroom with toiletries so you two should be good to go. Now, get some rest,” he said before shutting the door with a click.

James and Sirius both stood there, finally forced to look at each other as the awkward tension filled the room.

“I, uh, guess we’ll just leave things as they are,” James muttered, rubbing the back of his neck and staring at the bed.

“Yeah, okay, whatever…”

***

~S~

Sirius turned his back to James and grimaced, thinking that staying in his own room would have made things so much easier.

He used to love staying up all night talking and laughing with James. They’d pull out their “Marauder’s map” and watch all the little moving dots back at Hogwarts, getting a kick out of where people were and speculating about what they were up to. But he doubted they’d do that anymore...

Whilst he wasn’t positive James knew how he felt about him, he was _highly_ suspicious. And he still wondered what could have possibly given it away…

Well, other than his obvious hard-on when James was strangling him.

He shook his head and popped open his trunk.

***

~J~

James hated that he felt so awkward around Sirius now.

But deep down he was glad they’d still be sharing a room, yet that also _bothered_ him. Why did he want to make things even more uncomfortable by being locked in a room with Sirius Black for a month?

Part of him knew _exactly_ why, but he didn’t want to admit it.

The fact was—he was _curious_.

He didn’t want to toy with Sirius, but this new revelation was so mind-blowing, so out of left field, that he wanted to test some theories. He wanted to figure out his own feelings on the matter, because up until now, he was completely positive that he was in fact, _straight_. But he was beginning to second-guess _everything_. Like, did he _really_ prefer girls or was that just what he’d convinced himself all these years?

He really didn’t know, and hoped that somehow, being locked up with Sirius, he’d be forced to figure it out.

And if things got too bad, he could always make him move into one of the guest rooms.

The clank of metal hitting the hardwood floor broke his daze. He looked up to see Sirius scrambling to fetch something. The shiny object rolled right in front of his feet and stopped. He bent down and picked the thing up, examining it.

“Is this?”

“The pin you gave me? Yes,” Sirius muttered.

James turned the small pin over in his hand and held it closer to his face—he really needed his glasses for reading. The pin was made of enamel and brass with a scarlet and gold shield that bore the Gryffindor Lion and the words, “Brave at Heart” inscribed on the bottom in cursive. It was their House symbol. He’d bought it at Zonko’s as a Christmas gift for Sirius when they were twelve—his very _first_ gift to him if he remembered correctly. 

“You still have this?” he asked incredulously.

“Yes…I’ve been wearing it every Quidditch match for the past _six years_ …” Sirius trailed off.

“Oh.”

He was starting to feel hot and uncomfortable again. He held out the pin and Sirius quickly snatched it back, their fingers barely grazing as he did, and though the touch was slight, the feel of Sirius’ skin pressed against his own was enough.

It felt like a bolt of magic going straight up his arm.

He jerked his hand back like a lunatic and made a b-line for the bathroom, promptly shutting the door and sitting down on the edge of the tub.

He rested his head in his hands and sighed wearily. 

This was going to be considerably more difficult than he’d thought. 

***

~S~

Dinner with the Potter’s was bearable. They mostly talked about Quidditch and the Gryffindor team and their chances of winning the House Cup.

He and James had gone up to bed without saying a word and quickly fell asleep. At least _he_ had. The exhaustion from all his sleepless nights and traveling was enough to quiet his panic that James was literally sleeping a few feet away from him.

They weren’t exactly on friendly terms. But still. It was a start.

The next morning he rolled over in bed and was rewarded with the sight of James, fast asleep, his dark, curly hair a tangled mess around his face. Even still, he looked like some kind of sleeping god. Sirius had always found his bed-head adorable.

He closed his eyes again and sighed, wondering what they’d do that day. Maybe James would have somewhere to go and he could stay behind…

_And sulk…_

He opened his eyes again, and to his surprise, James was staring right back at him.

***

~J~

James wondered if Sirius was still asleep. His hair was a mess and his red lips were pursed in a hard line. Was he dreaming?

And then Sirius opened his eyes, nearly giving him a heart attack, a bolt of heat shooting straight through his body.

_Bloody hell!_

“Hey,” Sirius croaked in a raspy voice, the sound making his heart beat faster for some reason. He swallowed hard. “Hey.”

“D’you think breakfast’s ready?" Sirius asked, raking his hand through his messy hair and yawning. 

James felt warm all over from just the sound of his thick accent. He used to make fun him for how he sounded in the mornings. Sirius always complained that his accent was too "common,” but it wasn’t common to James and he never tired of hearing it. He smiled serenely up at the ceiling and then, to his complete and utter horror, realized he was _aroused_. His eyes widened and he turned to look at Sirius, who lazily returned his gaze and then yawned.

“Yeah, I bet it is,” James said in a strained voice, trying to think of _anything_ to take his mind off his growing problem. “You can have the bathroom first,” he croaked, his body already coiled like a spring.

“Okay, thanks."

Sirius rolled out of bed and stretched, and when he did, James got an eyeful of his taut abs and hip bones jutting out above his low slung pajama pants, and his eyes couldn’t help but follow the little trail of hair that dipped lower and…

_Shit, shit, shit…_

When Sirius finally went into the bathroom and shut the door, he sprang out of bed, gathered his clothes, and ran straight across the hall to the guest bathroom.

He quickly stripped down and hopped into the shower, setting to work on his _problem_ with the visual of Sirius’ bare, flexed abs burned into his brain. He groaned loudly and pounded the tile wall with his fist.

“James, is that you?”

It was his mother.

“Holy shitballs!” he hissed under his breath.

“Yeah…”

“Oh, okay…Are you alright, honey?”

“Yes! Just got some shampoo in my eyes…”

“Okay, well I just came up to let you know breakfast is ready.”

“Alright, I’ll be down in a bit,” he choked out, literally wanting to crawl in a hole and _die_.

_Could this day get any worse?!_

He turned on the cold water and stood under it until he was shivering. He was positive he was too cold now to get heated about _anything_.

He quickly towel dried his hair, threw on some clothes, and headed back to his room to grab his glasses and tell Sirius breakfast was ready. But what he wasn’t prepared to see though, was Sirius standing in front of the mirror, brushing his teeth, and wearing only a pair of tight, grey boxer briefs that hugged his arse in impossible ways.

James’ mouth hit the floor just before he tripped over his own trunk and was promptly catapulted across the room. “BOLLOCKS!” he yelped, clutching his foot and scrambling to get back up.

Sirius just stood there, wide-eyed, with white foam dripping down his chin.

“This damn trunk!” James yelled, kicking it hard and hurting his foot even further.

“Are’oo okay?” Sirius asked, turning around with a mouthful of toothpaste.

James took one look at him and yelped, “Shit!” before running from the room and going straight back across the hall to the bathroom.

So much for keeping his cool.

***

~S~

Sirius stood in front of the sink wondering what in Merlin’s name had just happened. He hadn’t expected James to come back in the room…he thought he’d already gone downstairs for breakfast.

He finished brushing his teeth with a mystified expression and then pulled on a pair of black trackie bottoms and rummaged in his trunk for a jumper.

 _Maybe he’s in a bad mood because I’m here,_ he thought. Though James had seemed fine when he first woke up; things had almost felt back to normal and he’d hoped it would be a good day, but now…he wasn’t so sure.

~~~

Mrs. Potter had prepared an amazing breakfast for them. There was so much food Sirius doubted they’d be able to eat it all: waffles with walnuts and strawberries drizzled in syrup, sticky buns, toast, muffins, fruit and homemade orange marmalade...

He sat down at the table with Euphemia and made small talk about the weather and the latest news from the Daily Prophet when James suddenly appeared, looking disheveled in a pair of worn blue jeans and a red, plaid button-down, his curly, wet hair a mess and his glasses slightly askew.

He’d never seen him look quite so unkempt.

“Morning,” James said in a deep, raspy voice that rose the hairs on the back of his neck. He squirmed in his seat and stared down at his cup of coffee.

“Morning, honey. Eat up!” Euphemia said, passing him a plate of muffins. She frowned, “I thought you only needed your glasses for reading, dear?”

“Oh, erm…right,” James said, quickly taking the glasses off and setting them on the table.

Sirius flicked his eyes up to him, noticing James’ slightly dopey expression. Maybe he didn’t get enough sleep. His eyes were very glassy and his cheeks red, and once again, he refused to make eye contact. 

_What have I done now?_

They ate in relative silence with only Euphemia keeping the conversation going before James excused himself from the table, saying he was going to finish un-packing.

Sirius decided to let him be and instead went into the living room to watch some telly, figuring this was probably how every day of the break would be.

Avoidance and awkwardness.

 _“Some holiday,”_ he muttered to himself as he plopped down on the plush, blue and white striped sofa.

~~~

Sirius groggily sat up and looked at the clock. _Two p.m._ Merlin, he really _must_ have been tired. He rolled off the sofa and made his way up the stairs to use the loo.

He knocked lightly on the bedroom door before slowly opening it.

James was sound asleep in bed, curled in the fetal position and hugging his pillow, and Sirius stared at him wistfully for a moment, thinking he looked so peaceful it was hard to believe he’d ever been so mad or so distant. He sighed deeply before tip-toeing to the bathroom and quietly shutting the door.

And when he came back out again he noticed that James had dropped the pillow and his arms were wrapped around himself as if he were cold, so he tip-toed over and pulled the covers up to his shoulders. James stirred but didn’t wake.

Sirius lay down on his own bed, gazing at him, and wondering about the future of their friendship. What would James think if he knew his true feelings? There was no way he knew the _depth_ of them, but it was obvious by his awkwardness and distance that he must be aware of his _attraction_.

And it’s not like he’d ever _genuinely_ thought James would return his feelings. He’d just hoped and dreamed...

But he’d pretty much come to the conclusion that _friends_ would be as far as they’d ever go.

James preferred _girls_ , and Sirius preferred _James_ , and that’s just how it would always be.

***

~J~

When James blinked his eyes open he was surprised to find Sirius resting opposite him on his own bed. He was lying on his back with one arm slung over his eyes and the other hand resting gently on his chest. His breaths were deep and slow and his body completely relaxed and James wondered when he’d come into the room.

He hugged himself, noticing that his blanket was pulled up to his shoulders.

_When did I do that?_

But then it dawned on him.

_Sirius must have done it._

He shivered slightly, gripping the blanket.

He still couldn’t believe this was all _real_.

Did Sirius really _turn him on_? Get him so wound up he had to wank _twice_ in one morning just to get him out of his system? Lily never had that effect on him. No one had.

But maybe he was just reacting this way because the concept was so _foreign_ to him…but eventually it would pass...

Or maybe getting feelings for your best mate was just some kind of rite of passage into adulthood or something…

At least, that’s what he decided to keep telling himself.

***

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Two horny boys sharing a bedroom?! *GASP*😲


	7. This is New for Me

***

~J~

The next day James was so relieved when he woke before Sirius. He wasn't sure if he could handle seeing him half-naked again…though, part of him really _wanted_ to. There was a war going on inside his body and his brain, but he was determined to stay in control.

After getting dressed, he paced around the back garden, thinking and thinking…and _thinking_ some more until he was finally so cold and irritated that he went back inside to get warm.

Just as he walked through the door, Sirius was coming down the stairs. 

“Hey,” James croaked, looking him up and down and taking in his wet, tousled hair, white, long-sleeved thermal and loose grey trackies.

 _Bloody hell,_ he inwardly groaned _. What is it about him in trackies?_

“Hey,” Sirius replied, clearing his throat. “Where’s your mum?”

“Working at the bakery.”

“Oh, right. I forgot…Have you eaten breakfast yet?”

“No, I was waiting on you.”

“Oh, have you been up long?”

“Just like an hour.”

_Pacing around the blasted garden and trying NOT to think of you!_

“Oh, well sorry to have kept you waiting. You can wake me up at any time, you know…Or just eat without me...”

“It’s okay, I figured you needed the sleep,” James said with a shrug, trying to play it cool, even though inwardly, he was squirming like a fire salamander on the hearth.

“So what’s there to eat?”

“Mum left us some stuff from the bakery…and I’ll make some coffee.”

“Sounds good.”

***

~S~

Sirius hated the awkwardness between them. They sounded so painfully formal. They should be cutting up and carefree, completely relaxed like normal, not acting like two strangers.

He watched as James poured the coffee grounds in the filter, his heart inadvertently skipping a beat.

 _Why is him being domestic such a turn-on_?

The delicious aroma of Mrs. Potter’s Italian roast soon filled the room, seeming to ease some of the tension.

James grabbed two decorative white mugs and filled them up.

“Milk and sugar, right?” he asked, passing a mug to him.

“Right,” Sirius replied, clasping the warm cup between his palms and trying to contain his giddy smile. He loved it when James remembered how he liked things; the smaller the detail the more meaningful it felt.

James set a teal ceramic plate down for each of them and brought over the dish his mum had left; it was full of day-old croissants, crumpets, muffins, sticky buns, and other mouthwatering pastries.

Sirius sat perched on the bar stool, blowing on his coffee and swinging his feet.

Things were finally starting to feel like normal.

***

~J~

James stood across the counter, shoving an entire sticky bun in his mouth and eyeing Sirius suspiciously. 

_Why does he seem so happy?_

Sirius looked up at him, a mischievous grin sliding up his face and his blue eyes twinkling, and James couldn’t help but grin back, his heart expanding and starting to beat rapidly.

“Wha’?” he asked around his mouthful, starting to laugh.

“Nothing,” Sirius replied, still smiling.

“Do I have icing on my face or somethin’?” James asked, wiping at his mouth self-consciously. Sirius always had the ability to make him feel more self-conscious than anybody. Maybe it was because they could practically read each other’s minds.

“No…” Sirius replied, his grin now spreading up to his eyes and making them crinkle at the corners. “At least not like that time Peter tripped and threw his Cauldron Cake in your face.” He snickered and covered his mouth with his sleeve.

And then they were both laughing and clutching their sides at the memory, all the uncomfortable tension instantly dissipated.

When their laughter finally died down they stared at each other for a moment, red-cheeked and smiling.

“Hey, d’you wanna watch some telly? Maybe there’s a game on or something,” James asked.

“Sure,” Sirius replied hopping off the stool.

They grabbed their coffee mugs and plates and plopped down side by side on the couch.

James started absently flipping through the channels, thinking how good it felt to just do regular things again with Sirius. Maybe he was done with that dodgy attraction phase. He’d probably been daft to even think twice about it...

And then Sirius stretched his arms over his head, giving him a momentary sideways glimpse of his taut, bare stomach…

 _Maybe it’s not just a phase,_ he worried, chewing on his lip.

***

~S~

They watched footie most of the afternoon, making bets on which team would win.

James’ team lost and he ended up owing Sirius fifty pushups.

Sirius watched smugly as James tugged off his jumper, revealing his fitted, white undershirt that hugged his muscles, and then bent down to the ground.

James quickly set to work, his toned biceps flexing every time he went up and down, up and down, up and down...And Sirius suddenly realized maybe this wasn’t the most _practical_ punishment...because as soon as he imagined what it would feel like to be _underneath_ James’ tight body whilst he was doing said push-ups, he felt a rush of heat go straight to his groin.

_Bollocks!_

He quickly snatched a pillow and strategically set it over himself until he’d calmed down.

After James had finished putting on a show and caught his breath, they decided to get some fresh air outside.

They walked around the back garden for a while where James showed Sirius his father’s new potion shed; Fleamont Potter used to concoct his potions in the house, that is, until he’d burned a hole right through the upstairs guest bedroom floor with one particularly acidic brew. The shed was much _safer._

***

~S~

When Mrs. Potter came home from work she said it was high-time they helped out at the bakery.

James groaned loudly.

“Mum, I _can’t handle_ all those little old ladies pinching my cheeks and raving about my dimples. Not to mention all the girls who come in just to _stare_ at me,” he pouted.

Sirius’ eyes narrowed and went dark at the visual. He suddenly despised _Buns & More_ and all its customers.

“Oh, honey, those old ladies just _love_ to see how much you’ve grown up! And half the girls in this town have a crush on you. Besides, business simply booms every time you come home on holiday. I don’t see anything _negative_ about that.”

“Yeah, well you’re not the one being _gawked_ at like a new broomstick in a shop window.”

“Only you would compare yourself to a _broom_ ,” she said laughing. “Give yourself a little more credit than that, my dear.”

“Yeah, yeah.”

“I’m sure _Sirius_ won’t mind being gawked at. It’s never bothered him before,” she said playfully with a wink.

Sirius choked out a laugh.

“I bet having both of you run the shop will simply _quadruple_ our business. Every lady in town will be waiting in line to catch a glimpse of the _two handsomest lads from Hogwarts_. And star Quidditch players to boot!”

“Yeah, except they don’t know we go to Hogwarts, and they’re _Muggles,_ so they’ve never even heard of Quidditch…”

“Oh, honey! Just indulge me!” she said, pinching his cheek. “Alright, I’m guessing you two had a late brunch, so I’ll try and prepare an early supper and we can eat as soon as your father gets in from London. He went to pick up some ingredients for a new potion he’s been tirelessly working on—some kind of hair cream or other he’s been raving about,” she said, waving her hands in the air. “And why don’t you go and put your room back in order? It’s only been _three days_ and it already looks like its been hit with a disorganizing spell!”

“ _Mum_ ,” James groaned.

“Oh, and before I forget, your aunt and uncle and the kids are visiting next week, so I’ll need _both of your help_ preparing for that.”

“How long are they staying?”

“I’m not sure yet. Maybe a week…You _know_ how they are.”

“A week?! I _cannot_ handle those kids for that long; they'll drive me mental.”

“You were a kid once, too, you know?” she said, giving him a peck on the cheek.

“Yeah, _maybe_ , but I don’t think I was quite as annoying as they are.”

“Get upstairs and clean your room…and _no_ magic!”

***

~J~

James had completely forgotten that he was allowed to use magic outside of school now.

He’d turned seventeen in July and could legally use it as long as he wasn’t in the presence of unsuspecting Muggles. Sirius was also allowed, having come of age in November. 

“Blimey, I forgot we can both use magic now!”

“That’s right. I don’t even know what I’d do first…” Sirius said with a mischievous grin.

A beat passed and then they both raced upstairs, trying to shove the other one back whilst laughing. Once in the room, they immediately started rummaging for their wands.

James found his first and pointed it at Sirius with a wicked gleam in his green eyes.

Sirius snatched his as well and pointed it right back.

“On the count of three,” James said.

“One, two…THREE!”

Blue sparks shot out of his wand, hitting Sirius square in the chest, making him keel over and start laughing uncontrollably on the floor.

Amidst his laughter, Sirius blasted James with green sparks, causing his ear-length hair to rapidly start growing longer.

“Bloody hell!” James yelped, jumping to his feet and gripping his hair as it grew below his ears.

Sirius was still laughing on the floor and gasping for air.

His hair was now down to the tops of his shoulders and he started to panic.

"Okay, truce!” he yelled.

“REDCUTO!” Sirius bellowed amidst his peals of laughter, and James’ hair instantly stopped growing.

James blasted him with another round of blue sparks, causing his hysterical laughter to cease, but Sirius still continued to lie there, panting, with his hands covering his eyes.

“You _dickweasel_ ,” Sirius breathed, starting to laugh again, but of his own accord.

“Excuse me? _What_ did you just call me?” James asked, looking down at him in shock.

"You heard me.”

“You _little shit_.”

Sirius uncovered his eyes and smirked up at him. “Well, at least I don’t look like a _long-haired little girl_.”

“I’ll get you for that,” James huffed, lunging towards him, but his shoe caught on a pile of books and he tripped, hitting the ground hard on all fours.

“Bollocks!” he yelped.

That just made Sirius laugh even harder, his face beet red as tears streamed down his cheeks.

Still determined to get revenge, James crawled towards him breathing hard. He grabbed Sirius’ forearms, pinning them above his head and held them there. Sirius was still laughing but trying to put up a good fight as he pushed back. James just pressed harder and then threw his leg over Sirius’ stomach, straddling him.

And suddenly, Sirius wasn’t laughing anymore.

They stared at each other for a beat, something entirely new unfolding between them.

Something _explosive_.

Sirius’ blue eyes grew wide. He darted his tongue out, wetting his bottom lip.

And James continued to stare at him, his breath growing more rapid as his heart pounded fiercely against his ribs. Sitting on top of him like this, touching him like this, he was starting to feel… _too_ _much_. Sweat started forming on the back of his neck.

Sirius abruptly stopped struggling, his whole body going completely still. And then, as if by accident, or perhaps an unconscious desire, James clenched his thighs tighter around Sirius’ hips, and as he did, a small groan escaped Sirius’ mouth and his eyes fluttered shut.

It was such a small response…but with such _enormous_ implications.

_Holy shit!_

James’ eyes widened to capacity, his nostrils flaring. 

He suddenly felt like he was on fire, like the room was on fire…like everything…was on _fire_.

Slowly, as if pulled by some magnetic force, he began to lower his head down, closing the seemingly impossible gap between them, the tips of his now longer hair tickling Sirius in the face. 

“I…I like your hair long,” Sirius breathed, his blue eyes wide, frozen.

_Is he afraid?_

“Really, do you now?” James purred, quirking an eyebrow.

 _Bloody hell, where did that come from?!_ he thought in total disbelief.

Sirius shivered slightly, a look of pure amazement crossing his face.

“Y-yes.”

He continued to keep Sirius’ arms pinned above his head even though he was no longer struggling. And deep down, he had to admit, he liked how it felt to be on top of him and in control. It was something he never knew he needed, but now that he had it...he never wanted to live without it.

He deliberately clenched Sirius between his thighs again, squeezing tightly.

Sirius’ mouth popped open, his eyes blinking rapidly, as bright red heat rose up his neck.

Yes, James liked how this felt, too.

“What are you—“ Sirius started to say, but then James cut him off.

“I just wanna see…” he murmured, furrowing his brows deeply. He could feel himself leaning down even closer, his eyes narrowing to a single point. Sirius’ mouth.

_Those lips…_

He sucked in air and stared deep into Sirius’ sapphire eyes, time stopping as he did; they were so full of unabashed _hunger..._ a kind of hunger he’d never seen before…never even knew _existed_.

With his heart beating out of control and feeling as if the space between them was infinitely wide, he leaned down the last few inches and softly, carefully, brushed their lips together, his long hair falling around them like a curtain, concealing the moment.

And as soon as their mouths touched, an all-consuming fire ignited in his veins.

_Mother of god!_

Sirius tilted his head up and hissed in response, freeing himself from his hold and grabbing his face firmly between his warm palms, pulling him down harder. The kiss instantly became desperate, _burning_ , and it left James completely and utterly stupefied. He nearly collapsed on top of him but caught himself on his elbows.

Sirius wound his fingers into his hair and tugged, his lips greedy and insatiable.

_Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god!_

And James suddenly pulled back, as if zapped with a spell. He gasped for air and stared at him with wide eyes.

***

~S~

“What’s wrong?” Sirius asked, his chest heaving up and down.

James crawled off him and collapsed onto the floor on his back, breathing heavily and throwing his arm over his face.

“Nothing…I just…can’t believe that just happened.”

Sirius began to panic.

He inhaled shakily and closed his eyes, fearing the worst.

“Do you want to pretend that it never did?”

An excruciating moment of silence passed.

“No…” James finally said.

Sirius exhaled, unsure what to say.

James rolled to his side and stared at him, raking his long hair back out of his glorious face. “Look, this is new for me…so you’re just gonna have to be patient. I have no bloody clue what I’m doing…”

Sirius started to smile at the ceiling and then turned to look at him, “Well, it seems to me, that you _do_.”

James smirked devilishly at him, making his heart stop. “I guess I’m just eager.”

They held each other’s gaze.

“You have no idea how long I’ve wanted to do that,” Sirius breathed, wiping the sweat off his forehead and staring back up at the ceiling.

“I think I do.”

“Really? And…and you’re _okay_ with it?”

“Yes…to both questions.”

Sirius could _not_ believe they were actually having this conversation. Maybe he was really still on the sofa, sound asleep…and he’d wake up and realize this was all just some kind of fever dream. It wouldn’t be the first time.

“Dinner’s almost ready!” Mrs. Potter yelled up the stairs.

They both flinched and quickly stood up, smoothing down their pants and fixing their hair.

“Well, I guess we’d better…go,” Sirius said, rubbing at his chin and suddenly feeling very awkward.

“Yeah…” James said softly. “And hey, let’s just keep this between us for now, okay?” His face was deathly serious. 

“Of, course,” Sirius said, furrowing his brows. “Look, I’m still the same person I’ve always been. I’m still your best mate…that will never change.”

“Okay, good,” James breathed, obviously relieved.

***

~J~

“And all this,” Sirius said, waving a hand between them, “is new for me, too…I mean I’ve never…with another bloke…”

“Good,” James said loudly, surprised by his possessive tone. “I mean, uh, I’m glad we’re on the _same_ _page_.”

Sirius smiled sheepishly, his blue eyes mesmerizing, and James suddenly didn’t want to look away.

How had he never truly _seen_ Sirius before?

He was surely the most attractive creature he’d ever laid eyes on.

“After you,” Sirius said, motioning to the door.

James gulped, unsure if his legs could even carry him there.

~~~

And when they went downstairs for supper, Euphemia asked them why they looked as if they’d just run a marathon.

Grinning from ear to ear and red as beets, they both said that cleaning their room without magic was much more _taxing_ than she’d ever know.

***

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Finally some snogging!!!🎉😘


	8. A Pair of Sops

***

~S~

They scarfed down their dinner and even helped clean up the kitchen, all in an effort to hurry up and get back to their room.

Mrs. Potter eyed them suspiciously, probably assuming they were up to no good, as usual. She did notice James’ longer hair and said he should keep it, that the bakery’s customers would _most certainly_ appreciate it. James just rolled his eyes and shook his head.

They bolted up the stairs in such a hurry that James tripped and Sirius had to grab him by the arm and yank him up again; they couldn’t stop laughing as they stumbled into the room.

And then James slammed the door loudly.

“Shhh!” Sirius hissed, his face going red, “I think we’re gonna need to tone it down a bit, mate.”

“What, too eager?” James laughed.

“Um, yeah. But I’m sure your mum just assumes we’re excited to do magic or eat _candy_ …” he trailed off, completely forgetting what he was saying, suddenly mesmerized by the look on James’ face.

“Well,” James said, swallowing and taking a step towards him, “we should probably go ahead and get ready for bed like normal…”

“Yeah, probably,” Sirius murmured, stepping closer, their eyes locked.

James took another step and closed the gap between them, their bodies just inches apart.

And Sirius was unsure what to do.

He sure as hell knew what he _wanted_ to do…with every beat of his heart, but he also didn’t want to appear as _desperate_ as he actually was.

How exactly does one _keep their cool_ when they’ve finally got what they wanted after six bloody years of waiting?

And then James reached out a hand and awkwardly set it atop his shoulder, squeezing slightly. “So, um…”

“Yeah,” Sirius breathed, raising up on his tip-toes and nervously clutching the front of James’ jumper, wondering if he should make the first move or not, but he didn't have to wait long, because James gripped onto the back of his neck and swiftly brought their mouths together, pulling him up against his body. And Sirius felt like he was simultaneously floating away on a cloud yet also engulfed in a swell of flames.

_How is this happening?!_

_He’s kissing me!_

_James fucking Potter is kissing me!_

_KISSING ME!_

_Of his own free will!_

And then James exhaled through his nose and tilted Sirius’ head back even further with his fingertips, slipping his eager tongue right between his lips.

And Sirius nearly fainted.

Nearly _died_.

If it hadn’t been for James’ strong hands holding him up, he was certain that he would have.

_Dear god!_

After a moment, they both pulled back for air, panting, their foreheads pressed together as they continued to grip onto each other.

“Wow,” Sirius breathed, scrunching his eyes shut.

“I know,” James said. “This is what I’ve been missing?”

Sirius chuckled and pulled back to look at him.

“You have _no_ _idea_ ,” he said, and he didn’t mean for it to come out so _seductively_ …but there it was.

James’ eyes widened, comprehension dawning on his face, before he surged forward and kissed him again. Sirius clasped onto the front of his jumper, his legs turning to jelly, and kissed him back just as violently, feeling like his heart was surely about to explode in his chest. How much could one heart take, anyway? He felt he was about to find out. James would surely be his undoing.

Eventually, he forced himself to pull back, afraid he might completely embarrass himself by taking things too far. “We should probably…go shower,” he panted, holding James at bay by his broad shoulders.

“Shower?” James yelped, peering down at him with wide eyes.

“Yeah, I mean…separately?” he said, though it sounded more like a question.

“Oh, right…okay…I’ll just go across the hall,” James said, stepping back and blinking.

And Sirius couldn’t believe that he was being the _rational_ one, but something inside him kept telling him to take this slow. It was all very new for James, and the last thing he wanted to do was scare him away.

He would have to _slowly_ let his six years of repressed desires seep out…Though, Merlin knew, it would be nearly impossible. 

***

~J~

It was hard for them to separate, but eventually they did and went to get ready for bed individually.

James stood in the shower, shampooing his now longer hair, and trying to wrap his head around the fact that he and Sirius were…were…what were they exactly?

_Best mates snogging?_

No, definitely more than that.

They were _something_ and it was intense.

Whatever it was, it involved his cock and his heart.

He started grinning from ear to ear.

The strangest thing of all was how _natural_ and easy it all felt. In fact, he was having a hard time remembering _not_ being with Sirius. Was there a time before kissing Sirius? And had he really spent the past six years chasing Lily?

And then it suddenly occurred to him how _patient_ Sirius had been...how bloody _longsuffering_. How much pain had he endured because he was a complete and utter idiot? He wanted to jump out of the shower right then and there and grab Sirius and kiss him senseless because of it. But he refrained, not wanting to scare the living daylights out of him.

He needed to keep his eagerness in check if this was going to work.

***

~S~

Sirius stared at himself in the mirror, combing through his wet hair with a frown. How was this real? How, after six years of yearning for and crying over James Potter, did he all the sudden have him?

And his _greatest secret_ was a secret no more.

He felt giddy, relieved, shocked, overwhelmed…He’d been carrying this burden for so long and just couldn’t believe that not only did James _accept_ him for who he was, but wanted him, was _attracted_ to him…It was all just too bloody much.

He heard a throat clear and looked up in the mirror to see James standing behind him, wearing a pair of green plaid, draw-string pajama pants and a fitted white t-shirt, with his now long curly hair brushed back and dripping wet.

And his heart started aching uncontrollably. 

“Merlin…” he breathed out.

***

~J~

James looked Sirius up and down, fully taking in his fitted grey pajama bottoms that hugged his arse in all the right ways, and his light blue, v-neck t-shirt.

Sirius was the perfect combination of soft and seductive, and he didn’t know whether to kiss him or cuddle him. How had he never noticed this before? How had he managed to live with him for _six years_ and never truly see him for what he was?

_A fucking god._

He flushed, surprised by his own thoughts.

Sirius turned around and stared at him, and feeling much braver than he actually was, James prowled towards him slowly, stopping just a few inches away with his hands clasped behind his back.

“I like you in blue,” he whispered, peering down at him.

“I-I like you in green,” Sirius stammered, his eyes wide.

And then James closed the distance and unceremoniously threw his arms around his neck, pressing their bodies together and hugging him tight. “Oh, wow, you smell…so good,” he said, pressing his nose into the crook of his neck and inhaling deeply. Sirius smelled like something heady and addictive…like the forest on a midnight romp…like freshly chopped mint and basil…like his mother’s shepherd’s pie…like everything he never knew he needed but suddenly couldn’t live without.

Sirius giggled and squirmed against him.

“Are you ticklish?” James asked, pulling back.

“You mean, you _don’t_ know?”

James grinned devilishly before tickling his sides.

Sirius yelped and started laughing, and then James promptly picked him up and tossed him on his bed.

And then they both just stared at each other.

An awkward beat passed and James rubbed the back of his neck, feeling ridiculous and completely in over his head.

***

~S~

“I don’t know what I’m doing,” James exhaled, closing his eyes and dropping his hand. He plopped down on the bed and fell against the pillows.

Sirius watched him, stunned.

“That’s okay, neither do I…” he said softly. He turned towards him and sat cross-legged. “I just know what I want…and James, I’ve wanted you for as long as I can remember,” he said, feeling a lump forming in his throat. _Just keep it together…keep it together,_ he kept telling himself.

James leaned towards him so their knees were touching and clasped his hand. “I…I think I’ve wanted you for a long time, too, I just didn’t want to believe it. I was too afraid. I think you were right…about Lily, I mean,” he said, averting his eyes. “I was chasing an impossibility because what I really wanted was... _you_.”

Sirius gasped, his eyes growing huge. Those were words he never in a million years thought he’d hear.

He _prayed_ he’d hear them. He _fantasized_ he’d hear them…but he never believed he actually _would_.

“Bloody hell...” he breathed out, feeling like he was just punched in the gut, but in a _good_ way.

“Yeah, I know,” James said with a shrug, his own eyes glassy. “Since when did we become such sappy gits?”

“I blame the teenage hormones,” Sirius muttered.

“Yeah, probably...” James said frowning, “but Sirius, what I feel for you…it’s more than that. You’ve always been my best mate,” he swallowed, “and this isn’t some kind of _fling_ to me. This is real…and…” he trailed off.

“And you don’t want it to ruin our friendship? Or for things to get dodgy?”

“Right. I can’t lose you,” James said intensely, reaching his hand up and squeezing the top of his shoulder.

Sirius slid his hand up his leg and gripped his thigh, squeezing back, “You won’t. Not ever. _Sirius_ is a constant star, after all…” And then he couldn’t help but grin, too proud of his own cleverness.

James smiled serenely, “Well, then there’s no chance I’ll ever get lost…I’ll always have _you_ to guide me back home,” and then slowly, reverently, he clasped his face between his large palms and tugged him forward, bringing their lips together.

And Sirius felt as if his heart were fit to burst.

He crawled forward up into his lap, straddling his hips and never breaking the kiss, feeling a thousand pounds lighter. He wrapped his arms around his shoulders and hugged him fiercely, unable to stop trembling whilst James buried his face in the crook of his neck and hugged him back, his long arms entwining tightly around him.

And Sirius had never felt safer or happier in all his life.

“We are a pair of sops, aren’t we?” he sniffled.

James sighed. “That’s okay, I wouldn’t have it any other way.”

***

~J~

Eventually, they parted ways, though _reluctantly_ , and crawled into their respective beds.

James lay on his side, staring at Sirius in the darkness and feeling like his heart was literally burning. Even just the few feet between them felt like too much. Too far. He wanted to be sleeping _with_ him. But he was still afraid of coming on too strong. They were just testing the waters, after all, and he didn’t want to push his luck. Because what if he did something that suddenly drove Sirius away? It was one thing to want someone for years and years, but what if when you actually got them, they were a disappointment and not all you’d hoped they’d be? What if their desperation was off-putting?

He rolled to his back and closed his eyes.

But all he wanted was Sirius.

_Sirius, Sirius, Sirius…my constant star…_

And he knew he sounded like a lovesick fool, but it was how he _felt_ , damn it.

He would be a fool.

He still didn’t know exactly what he was doing, only that strange and new as it was, it just… _felt right_. He and Sirius had always been inseparable, in sync, and in alignment in almost every way, so it just made sense that they should be together like this.

It was like a missing puzzle piece was finally put in place.

And even though his mind might have been giving him a thousand reasons why it wouldn’t work, his heart already held the final answer…

_Love._

***

~S~

Sirius lay in his bed with a pounding heart, thinking about all that had transpired. He wondered what James must be thinking. Was he having doubts or second thoughts? What if by tomorrow everything changed and he said it was all just a big mistake? A lapse in judgement. 

_Teenage hormones._

He rolled to his back and swallowed hard. The lump was back in his throat. But he wasn’t going to let himself go down that path of hopelessness and despair…not yet.

_Not tonight._

He just needed to calm down and sleep…just wait and see what tomorrow would bring.

He hadn’t loved James Potter this long to give up yet.

***

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Be still my little heart! Sirius Black, a Constant Star...⭐️⭐️⭐️


	9. Muggle Hell Hole

***

~J~

There was a knock on their bedroom door and James flinched, his eyes popping open, suddenly fearing that he and Sirius were somehow in bed together.

“James? Sirius?” his mother’s voice came. “Time to get up!” she said opening the door.

He blinked, completely relieved to find he was in bed alone. “Mum? Why are you waking us up so early?” he rasped.

“Because it’s almost noon and I need your boys’ help today. I’ve got some Christmas shopping to do in town…So get dressed and eat some breakfast and we can get going.”

“Mum…It’s _vacation_ …” he whined.

“I know, but we still have family coming and things to do…”

"Get dressed and come and eat breakfast…You, too, Sirius!” she said before leaving the room.

James huffed and rolled over to look at Sirius, who was lying on his side with his eyes closed, a small smile playing on his lips.

James grinned mischievously.

Crawling out of his bed, he quietly shut the door and then tip-toed over to Sirius’ bed…and _pounced_ on him.

“Oi! Ger’ off you great oaf!” Sirius squawked as he squirmed underneath him.

“Not a chance,” James hissed, absolutely giddy to be near him again. He wriggled behind him on top of the quilt until they were spooning, and nuzzled his nose into the crook of his neck, making Sirius yelp with surprise and try to wiggle away.

And suddenly, James was feeling _a lot_.

It was _morning_ after all...

Sirius wiggled against him, possibly feeling the same thing.

James cleared his throat and quickly turned to lie on his back. “We should probably get dressed…” he said.

“I guess so,” Sirius breathed, still laying on his side.

And then James just had to ask something, because he felt he’d simply _die_ if he didn’t. “Are we still…erm, good?” he asked, feeling his face get hot.

“What d’you mean?” Sirius rasped, turning to face him.

“I mean, after last night…”

“Are you having second thoughts?” Sirius asked, his eyes filling with panic.

“No!” James blurted out, “I mean, _no_ ,” he whispered. “I just want to make sure _you_ aren’t.”

Sirius visibly relaxed, his blue eyes softening. “ _God_ , James, you nearly gave me a _heart attack_ …”

“I’m sorry…I’m just _insecure_ , I guess,” he breathed, suddenly feeling strangled.

Sirius stared at him incredulously for a moment and then broke into a massive grin. “James Potter, _insecure_? Impossible.”

“Well, it’s _true_ ,” he muttered, feeling his cheeks burn. “You make me feel that way.”

Sirius reached out and cupped the back of his neck, willing him to look at him.

James flicked his eyes up and inhaled shakily.

“Don’t doubt how I feel about you. I’ve got _six_ bloody years on you, you git…If anybody should be worried, it’s _me_.”

James’ heart sped up.

_Six years?!_

“You have nothing to worry about,” he said solemnly, staring deeply into his eyes as something foreign and warm unfurled inside him; it stretched itself up into his heart and clasped on, nearly taking his breath away.

Sirius averted his eyes as James slid his fingertips lightly over his cheekbone and then across his parted lips. “Good,” he finally said, flicking his eyes up.

James inhaled sharply and leaned towards him, narrowing his eyes to his mouth.

Sirius held very still and closed his eyes.

And then James gently brushed against his lips and it felt like an explosion of heat and fire, but just enough to make him want more.

_So much more._

Sirius scooted even closer and kissed him back hard, and suddenly, it was getting very hot.

_Dear god…_

***

~S~

“Should…probably…get…dressed,” Sirius murmured against his lips, with no intention of backing off, not now that he was back in his arms.

_Not ever._

“Probably,” James sighed, gripping onto his hip firmly, clearly with no intention of backing away either.

“James, we really…need to…”

“Oh, alright,” he huffed, pulling back. “I never thought you’d be the _rational_ one,” he said, pursing his lips.

Sirius barked out a laugh, throwing his head back, “Well, _somebody_ has to be!”

***

~J~

When James came back in the room he found Sirius in front of the mirror, dressed in a pair of worn blue jeans and a cream colored jumper that made him look positively angelic, even if he did have toothpaste dripping down his chin.

Sirius grinned up at him and then quickly held his head over the sink.

“You’re kind of adorable,” James said, grinning from ear to ear as he walked up behind him and wrapped his arms around his waist.

Sirius spat in the sink and chuckled. “Oi, let me finish!”

James laughed and grabbed his own toothbrush off the counter. He squirted a copious amount of toothpaste on it and shoved it in his mouth, and they both stood there brushing their teeth, and grinning in the mirror like a couple of domestic idiots…at least that’s what _James_ thought.

“Did I ever tell you I love you in plaid? Because I do,” Sirius said, eyeing him in the mirror, wiping his mouth with the towel.

“No, but I’m glad you do,” James grinned, his dimples showing. “I’ll only wear plaid from here on out.”

Sirius chuckled and shook his head.

“And have I ever told you that I love you in anything, but you look _especially_ angelic in white?”

“Me? _Angelic?”_ Sirius scoffed with a devilish grin, turning towards him.

“Oh, yes. So angelic that I’m gonna have to do some _filthy things_ to you to bring you back down to earth.”

Sirius’ mouth fell open and his eyes widened to the size of saucers.“Wh…What?”

“You heard me,” James purred as he leaned forward and planted a light, but scorching, kiss on his parted lips.

“Breakfast!” Mrs. Potter yelled from downstairs.

Sirius continued to gape at him.

James just raised his eyebrows and raked his fingers back through his hair, relishing the shocked look on Sirius’ face and trying to act like he knew exactly what he was doing.

He didn’t.

***

~S~

They both had a hard time concentrating on their breakfast.

Sirius sat in a daze, clutching his steaming cup of hot coffee, only remembering every now and then to take a sip.

_What is he going to do to me?! Sweet Jesus. I always thought I’d be the one attacking him…He's an animal!  
_

***

~J~

James just stared at Sirius from across the table, continually shoving bits of muffin in his mouth, visualizing the kinds of things he’d _like_ to do to him. It felt like his brain was full of Filibuster's fireworks. 

“You boys must have had a late night,” Mrs. Potter said frowning. 

“Huh?” James noised, snapping out of his daze.

“You must have stayed up too late eating candy or doing _magic_ ,” she said, raising an accusatory eyebrow.

“Oh, right. Yeah, we got a bit _carried away_. But mum, it’s the _holidays_ ,” he whined, giving her his best pouty face.

“I know, honey, but you do still need your rest. You don’t want to go back to Hogwarts more exhausted than when you left. And I need both of you in top form to help out around here and at the bakery, which by the way, I’ll need you to fill in for me on Saturday. Your father and I are going to pick up your aunt and uncle at the station. Do you think you can manage that?”

“Sure, yeah,” James said, kicking Sirius under the table.

“Oh, yeah, sure we can. Sure,” Sirius chimed in with wide eyes, nearly spilling his coffee.

James just grinned at him and shook his head.

“Okay, good. Well, once you two finish up here we can head to town. I need to go to the market and the shops.”

“Is pop going?”

“No, he’s working on a potion today.”

“Who’s at the bakery, then?”

“Mrs. Franklin from down the road, and that young Smith girl—Susan is her name. She’s around your age and just the _sweetest_ thing. You’ll meet her on Saturday and I’m sure get on _quite well_.”

***

~S~

Sirius whipped his head up and glared at Mrs. Potter. How dare she hire this _Susan_ girl and then expect them to work with her! She sounded like a positively _terrible_ person, and he really didn’t like what Mrs. Potter was implying…He doubted they’d get on “quite well” with her at all.

James kicked him again under the table and raised his brows.

Sirius just sighed and rolled his eyes. Things were definitely going to be more difficult now that he and James were actually _together_. He’d always been a jealous person, but James was officially _his_ now, and that took his possessiveness to a whole new level.

“You’re mine,” he mouthed to James, shooting him a scorching look.

James’ mouth fell open, a few muffin crumbs falling onto his plate before he swallowed hard.

“I know,” he mouthed back, his eyes shining.

Sirius smirked triumphantly and sipped his coffee.

***

~S~

Shopping with Mrs. Potter was exhausting. She was extremely indecisive and kept asking them for their opinion and was constantly distracted by Muggle products. She was fascinated, just like her husband, with the never ending gadgets and gizmos of these strange creatures. And even though Mr. and Mrs. Potter endeavored to blend in with society, things like household cleaning products, hair dryers, carrot peelers, and mechanical objects captivated them to no end and even inspired most, if not all, of their magical inventions.

James and Sirius walked the isles of the market, side by side, with glazed over eyes.

“This is Muggle overload,” Sirius complained as he purposely shoved into James’ shoulder.

“I know, but you _know_ how mum is. She gets a kick outta this rubbish.”

“Yeah, well, I’d just like to leave so I can snog you…” Sirius hissed, leaning towards him.

“Snog me?”

“Senseless.”

James grinned and brushed his fingertips across the back of his hand.

~~~

After surviving the store and loading all the groceries into the car, they drove to a row of quaint little shops in the village to look for some Christmas gifts.

“We need to get something for your aunt and uncle and the kids...Why don’t the two of you look for the kid’s gifts?” Mrs. Potter asked.

James rolled his eyes. “Are you sure they wouldn’t prefer something more _magical_? I already got them some gags from Zonko’s…”

“No, dear. They love Muggle things, too, and have a harder time finding them where they live.”

“Okay,” James huffed, nearly grabbing Sirius’ hand to pull him along, but caught himself, and tugged him by the elbow instead.

Sirius just grinned, enjoying being manhandled.

“I like it when you’re rough,” he whispered by James’ ear as they turned the corner.

“Really, now?” James asked, a fire flaring up in his green eyes.

“Yes,” Sirius replied, swallowing and quirking an eyebrow. “What are you gonna do about it?”

James licked his lips and stared back at him. “I’m gonna manhandle you… _later_ …and we’ll see how much you like it _rough_.”

Sirius realized he was panting…in broad daylight…in the middle of the _toy_ department.

“Oh,” was all he could manage to get out.

James just grinned and started riffling through the toys. “Let’s see, Isabella is ten and Alexander is seven.” He pursed his lips and ran his fingers through his hair, “so I think he’d probably like this mechanical toy truck…and she’d probably like this game...What do you think?” he asked, holding them up.

Sirius was too mesmerized by him to really put much thought into it. “I think they’re perfect,” he replied.

_Just like your face._

“Good,” James said smiling proudly. “Not sure what I’d have done to you if you’d disagreed.”

“Whatever it was, I’m sure I would have liked it.”

James laughed. “Yes, I’m sure you _would_ have. Now, let’s go and find mum so we can hurry up and get outta this _Muggle hell hole_.”

He gripped Sirius by the bicep and tugged him along.

***


	10. Confessions

***

~J~

When they finally got home and unloaded everything they were completely spent. They agreed that shopping was _not_ their forte and that they much preferred snogging to just about anything.

At least that’s what _James_ thought.

They were scarfing down leftovers in front of the telly, filling Mr. Potter in on their thrilling day at the shops, when Sirius shot him a pointed look and cocked his head towards the stairs, nearly making him bark out a laugh.

 _Subtle_ was not Sirius’ specialty.

A few minutes later, they said their goodnights and headed upstairs.

Sirius shut the door behind them and then literally ran and jumped in James’ arms, wrapping his legs around his waist and clinging onto the tops of his shoulders.

“Well, you didn’t waste any time,” James said, smirking up at him and holding onto his bum, his eyes lighting up.

“Just shut up and kiss me.”

James didn’t need to be told twice.

He tilted his head back and strained upwards, waiting for Sirius to close the distance. And when their lips touched, a buzz of electricity shot straight through him, re-igniting his heart and doubling its speed, and he suddenly realized just how much he’d missed _being_ _with him._

“I missed you,” Sirius murmured, his whole body going slack and taking the words right out of James' mouth.

James grunted and walked them towards the bed, falling onto it sideways.

“Is this the part where you... _manhandle..._ me?” Sirius asked between slow, burning kisses.

James laughed deeply and pulled back, rolling to his back and tugging Sirius along with him so he was sitting on his stomach in a straddle.

“Maybe,” he smirked, suddenly feeling very nervous and shy. It was one thing to _talk_ dirty, and another matter entirely to actually _act_ on it. A Quidditch match somehow seemed less daunting.

“Or I could always manhandle you, _Prongs_ ,” Sirius leaned down and whispered by his ear, his lips barely grazing the shell of it.

_Sweet Jesus._

James exhaled shakily and gripped his thighs tightly, his eyes fluttering shut.

“Did I say something you liked?” Sirius purred.

“No, _Padfoot_ …not at all,” James panted, opening his eyes.

***

~S~

Sirius gaped at him.

Because what else could he do? They’d never used their special nicknames in this way before.

It was definitely another one of his _fantasies_ come to life.

James smirked up at him, his green eyes dancing with sinful possibilities, and Sirius’ breath hitched.

He narrowed his eyes to James’ mouth and leaned down, pressing into those luscious lips he used to dream of claiming. They both shuddered from the sensation.

But he was just getting started.

He dug his hands into James’ silken hair and tugged, straining for more of his mouth...more of his sweet taste.

James groaned and reciprocated by digging his fingers into his thighs.

_Oh god…oh god…_

Sirius was feeling too much at once. His heart was beating out of his chest and his brain was repetitively screaming, _How is this real?! How is this real?!_ His restraint was quickly going out the window.

“What?” James breathed, pulling back and staring up at him.

Sirius blinked, not even realizing he’d momentarily stopped kissing him, so lost in his thoughts _about him_.

“I…I’m just trying to wrap my brain around this.”

“Us?”

“Yeah…I mean, it’s just beyond anything I could have imagined…and you’re probably gonna get sick of me saying this, but James, I’ve waited _six years_ for you, and all without the hope of _actually having you_ …and now we’re finally,” he waved his hand between them, “and I’m just in shock.”

James exhaled and scooted backwards up against the pillows, still holding him on his lap.

“I can’t imagine how it’s been for you…and I can’t believe that I was so bloody _thick_ I never saw it…never saw you the way you saw me,” he said, swallowing hard, his Adam’s apple bobbing. “I’m sorry,” he whispered, his face scrunching in pain.

“For what?” Sirius breathed.

“For making you wait, for being an idiot…God, for not returning your feelings.”

Sirius felt the blasted lump back in his throat again, desperately trying to claw its way out. He blinked rapidly.

“Thank you,” he whispered, his eyes filling to the brim.

“Hey,” James said, cupping his face gently between his warm palms.

Sirius reached up and clutched the front of his shirt, picking at a button, and sniffled.

“Hey, where’s my loud-mouthed, hot-tempered, best mate, and what have you done with him?” James chuckled, tugging him forward and pressing their foreheads together.

“I think he died,” Sirius sniffed, his heart feeling so much lighter yet still pounding uncontrollably.

“Well, since we’re getting our feelings out in the open,” James said, sliding his hands down to rest lightly around his neck, “I have a confession to make, too.”

Sirius’ eyes widened and he licked his lips, anticipating.

“I’ve had feelings for you for years.”

“What?” he breathed out.

“Yeah, I mean, I wasn’t as sure about them as you were…I didn’t understand what they meant, but I had them…and I just shoved them down. _Way_ down.”

“You mean when you _weren’t_ chasing Lily?” Sirius teased, poking his side.

James snorted and shook his head. “God, I was a fool,” he sighed. “I think all that was just misplaced feelings…Definitely misdirected.”

“So what kinds of feelings did you have towards me?”

James gulped. “Well…like I would get these thoughts about you…and wouldn’t be sure where they came from. I felt completely _mental_ sometimes.”

“Like what _kinds_ of thoughts?” Sirius urged, unwilling to let it go. He _needed_ details. He _deserved_ details.

James blushed, averting his eyes. “Little things…like when we’d be joking around, touching…wrestling. I would get…I dunno… _excited_.”

Sirius had to bite down on his lip to keep from grinning like a complete buffoon.

“Anything else?”

James looked up at him and started grinning. “You little shit.”

“Hey, you can’t blame a lad for wanting details,” Sirius said with a shrug.

James poked him in the side until he laughed.

“Well, one time, when we were under the Invisibility Cloak—up to no good as usual—I felt like I wanted to kiss you…And I nearly did. I was plotting a way to make it be an accident…like we would both turn towards each other at the exact same moment, and somehow, my mouth would just find its way to yours…Completely mental, I know…”

Sirius laughed heartily and slid his hands up James’ chest, squeezing the tops of his shoulders and feeling so relieved. “You know, I remember that night! And I thought you were acting very peculiar…”

“No! You didn’t!”

“Yes! I did! I swear it! I thought maybe I was going crazy.”

“Oh, I remember another time,” James said, his face going serious, “I caught you snogging some girl in a dark corridor, and I was furious. Damn near lost my head. Of course I didn’t understand _why_ at the time…but my blood was boiling…”

“I remember that, too!” Sirius said lighting up. “You were in a right proper strop about it! Threw your hands in the air and said I needed to go to bed for the sake of the _Quidditch team_ …how _I_ was being selfish…”

James winced and scrunched his eyes shut. “Yep. That was the time.”

“Wow…maybe I was clueless, too,” Sirius exhaled, suddenly getting flashbacks of all the times James had acted strangely possessive or inexplicably temperamental towards him.

“Was there anything _recent_?” he asked, still not ready to drop the subject.

James squirmed. “Well, yes…”

“Am I gonna have to drag it out of you, Prongs?”

“No,” James smirked. He cleared his throat and averted his eyes. “When you were in the hospital wing after your duel…I had to help Madam Pomfrey strip your clothes off…”

Sirius’ swallowed, his heart beating wildly.

“And?”

“And I pulled your trousers off…and you were writhing around on that goddamn bed in nothing but your knickers…and I dunno…something snapped. I had to practically run from the room.”

“Why?” Sirius breathed.

“I think you _know_ _why_.”

“You mean you…”

“Yeah, I got _excited_.”

Sirius licked his lips. “Was that the first time?”

James squirmed again. “No.”

“Really?!” Sirius could barely contain his own excitement.

“Really,” James replied, finally looking at him, his chiseled cheekbones now a deep red. 

“That’s wonderful!” Sirius beamed.

James started laughing deeply and slid his hands down Sirius’ chest, gripping onto his waist.

“And when else?”

“Erm, on the train.”

Sirius’s eyes widened. “You mean after you tried to strangle me against the window?”

James snorted. “Yeah, pretty much.”

“Is that why you got so angry? I mean the tension was unreal…”

“Yeah, I was mad…confused… _very_ confused…and I just didn’t want to face my feelings for you. I was bloody scared.”

“That’s understandable,” Sirius replied, biting his lip. “I think we really frightened Moony, though.”

“I think so, too!” James laughed, tilting his head back, and then he cleared his throat, going serious again. “Speaking of _Remus_ …do you wanna tell me what really happened that night at the Whomping Willow?”

Sirius exhaled heavily, instantly feeling a hundred pound weight settle around his heart. He slid off James’ lap, wishing he never had to talk about that horrific night again.

“Hey, it’s okay, we don’t have to talk about it now if you don’t want to…”

“No, we need to,” Sirius sighed, sitting cross-legged in front of him.

James pulled his knees up and hugged them, his green eyes intent.

“I was furious at Lily…it had been building…for six years, technically, but I just got so damn mad…I wanted to hurt her…for toying with you and then flirting with the bat…And I wanted to hurt you, too, for hurting me…So I devised a plan to get her to the Whomping Willow...” he gulped. “Not that I wanted Moony to _kill_ her anything…I dunno, I was just out of my damn mind. So anyway, I lured her down there, pulled her through the hole, and then I…” he faded off, due to lack of air.

“You what?”

“I…I kissed her.”

James’ mouth fell open. “What?”

“I kissed her…thinking I would take away the one thing you wanted most…It was despicable, I know.”

“And then what?”

“She slapped me, kneed me in the groin…and you lot found me a while later.”

James closed his eyes for a moment and inhaled.

Sirius narrowed his eyes at him, closely observing his reaction with a wildly pounding heart. Was this going to be the beginning of the end for them? Should he have withheld the facts?

“I’m glad you told me the truth,” James finally said, opening his eyes. And then he smiled sadly and tugged him back into his lap.

“But I thought—"

“What? That I wouldn’t still want you after knowing the truth?”

“Well, yeah…” Sirius breathed, gaping up at him.

James was silent for a moment, wrapping his arms snugly around his back and hugging him to his chest, their cheeks pressed together.

“Sirius, I’ve been a fool…” he said in a strangled voice by his ear.

Sirius scrunched his face in confusion and pulled back.

“ _I_ attacked someone out of jealousy and _you’re_ the fool?”

“Yes, because it was _my_ fault!” James snapped. “I was too blind to see you were right in front of me…and I spent all my time and energy chasing someone that only caused _you_ pain. It’s my fucking fault.”

“Don’t say that…you didn’t make me do what I did,” Sirius said, clasping his face between his hands.

James exhaled and closed his eyes. “No, but I could have prevented it.”

“How?”

“By realizing that I was in love with you years ago!”

Sirius' mouth fell open.

“You what?”

“I’ve _always_ loved you,” James said quietly, looking completely drained, as if it took all the strength he had to finally admit the truth. 

“So have I…I mean, always loved _you_.”

James peered down at him and sighed, his eyes shutting as a look of pain crossed his face.

“I guess we’re both fools,” Sirius whispered, feeling drunk or drugged, or _both_.

“I guess so,” James breathed, opening his eyes again. “But not anymore.” And then he nuzzled their faces together until he found Sirius’ mouth and kissed him.

And the kiss was different than all the ones before.

It was deeper somehow, _heavier_.

More important.

Sirius had the fleeting visual of a fire engulfing them, the flames reaching to the stars.

Or maybe he was just hallucinating…drunk on love...

He surged towards James like a spring unwinding, kissing him back savagely and digging his fingers into his soft curls. They rolled, with James now on top, pinning him to the bed. Sirius greedily slid his hands up under his shirt and over his flexed back, caressing the smooth, bare skin for the very first time, dragging his burning fingertips up and down the taut muscles. James groaned into his mouth and latched onto him tighter. 

There was nothing to hold them back now.

So he just let go…giving himself over to James’ insatiable mouth and roaming hands, as years of pain and suffering began to slowly unwind from his heart.

~~~

At some point in the night, Sirius crawled over to his own bed, but only after he’d carefully brushed James’ curls back from his face and kissed him tenderly, _reverently_ , on the forehead. 

His heart ached fiercely.

Parting was such sweet sorrow…even if just by a few feet.

He collapsed onto his bed, neither of them having showered or changed clothes, and was swiftly pulled to sleep, certain that he’d wake up the next day and remember this was all just a dream.

***

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Eeek! I LOVE this chapter!🎉😍


	11. How Do You Whisk?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A rather indulgent chapter but a fun one!

***

~J~

The alarm clock blared loudly and James grunted, jamming his pillow over his head as he lay on his stomach. The ringing never stopped, not until he whacked it with his hand and it hit the floor with a crunch.

“Take it easy, Prongs. What did that clock ever do to you?”

James instantly smiled, thinking there was no sweeter voice in all the world…at least not to _his_ ears. “C’mere,” he rasped, trying to lift his head up.

In less than a second, Sirius plopped down on top of him, completely knocking all of his air out.

James wheezed and rolled over.

“Now you know how it feels,” Sirius chuckled.

“Lil’ shit.”

“What was that? I can’t hear you.”

James groaned and scooted up on the bed, grabbing him round the waist and pulling him close so he could spoon him.

Sirius automatically curled into him, grabbing the quilt and pulling it over their heads. “Are we hiding?” he whispered.

“Mmmhmm.”

“From who?”

“Er’body,” James slurred, burying his nose in the back of Sirius’ hair, already looking for that perfect soft spot that he was quickly becoming addicted to.

Sirius squirmed in his arms and snickered. “I bet your mum has chores for us today. Probably even an itinerary.”

“Bet she does.”

“James..."

"Hmmm?"

"We’re still wearing the same clothes we were yesterday…”

“Mmmhmm.”

***

~S~

They eventually crawled out of bed to go shower and get changed, and when Sirius walked back in their bedroom he found James holding up two different shirts in front of the mirror and making faces.

“Plaid?” James asked, turning towards him and holding up a green and black button down.

“Absolutely,” Sirius said grinning. “Hey, I don’t know what you like on me...besides _white_ I mean…because I look like an _angel_ _you want to defile_ ,” he muttered under his breath.

James barked out a laugh and then quickly clamped a hand over his mouth, turning maroon. He cleared his throat. “Um, well, I guess I like you in _fitted_ things…Especially where I can see your _glorious arse,”_ he said grinning from ear to ear like some kind of intoxicated ghoul. 

Sirius blushed fiercely— _words I never thought I’d hear him say, but okay_ —and bit his bottom lip. “So maybe these then?” he asked, holding up a pair of black fitted jeans. They'd actually shrunk in the wash when Wormtail had mixed up their laundry, but Sirius had decided he rather liked the fit. They made him feel like a rebel. 

“Yes, I like those!” James replied, his eyes lighting up. “We should always pick out each other’s outfits…this is fun!” he mused, buttoning up his shirt.

Sirius just shook his head in disbelief.

~~~

Mrs. Potter seemed shocked when they came down for breakfast so early.

“Well, maybe the two of you have _finally_ caught up on your sleep,” she smirked.

They both glanced at each other and blushed.

“Alright, so I’ve made a little itinerary of sorts for the next few weeks…”

Sirius snorted and shot James a triumphant look. “Told you."

“Hmm?” Mrs. Potter noised.

“Oh, it’s just that Sirius bet you’d make an itinerary for us…” James said grinning. 

“You two!” she laughed as she swatted at James. “Yes, I’ve made a _schedule_ so we can all be on the _same page_ , and also so you can know when you’re working at the bakery.”

James sighed heavily.

“Today, you two are on back garden duty. Leaves need to be raked, branches picked up…You know, tidy up a bit,” she said gesturing with her hands.

“But mum, if it snows, none of that will even matter…”

“Well, if it _doesn’t_ snow, it _will_.”

James huffed and leaned forward on the counter, resting on his elbows. “Okay, anything else?”

“Yes, no magic! You two need to get some exercise! The fresh air will do you some good; sitting in front of the telly all day will turn your brains to mush.”

“Mum, we’ve literally only had like _two_ _days_ to do nothing…”

“I know, and you’ll have a few more, but probably not until after family leaves. I‘ll be at the bakery today and your father’s still working on his potion—so don’t disturb him. Now, I’ve got some pastries warming in the oven and you can brew the coffee. I need to go and get dressed…”

James looked at Sirius and rolled his eyes. “Well, you were right…she’s hell-bent on working us to death.”

“At least we get food out of the bargain,” Sirius said happily, pulling himself up on a bar stool and resting his chin in his hands. “So are you gonna make that coffee or do I have to do it myself?”

“Tisk, tisk Mr. _bossy_! I’ll make it and you can _watch_ ,” James said, raking his hands slowly through his hair and then throwing his head back seductively.

Sirius chuckled and shook his head, trying not to look as enamored as he felt. “Git.”

The room quickly filled with the delicious aroma of coffee and buttery pastries warming in the oven, making Sirius’ stomach grumble. James filled a mug and handed it to him, grinning, then he poured a cup for himself and stood across from him on the other side of the bar.

Sirius inhaled deeply into his mug, “You know, I think I like this smell almost as much as _yours_..."

James blushed whilst biting down on his bottom lip and averting his eyes.

_Dear god he's adorable!_

Sirius smirked and bit into his piece of toast smothered in strawberry marmalade, crumbs falling onto his plate and making a mess as he did.

“Hey,” James said, leaning towards him and staring intently at his mouth. “You’ve got some…” and then he wiped the strawberry jam off the corner of his mouth and promptly sucked it off his own finger. 

Sirius just sat there, gobsmacked. “You can’t do things like that!” he nearly shrieked, his voice going an octave higher.

“What?” James asked innocently, his eyes going round. “I was just helping out my mate.” He then proceeded to grin like a frog and sip his coffee.

“You’re a tease, James Potter, that’s what you are,” Sirius remarked, smiling into his steaming mug.

James just smirked, his green eyes dancing.

~~~

They cleaned up breakfast and were just putting on their coats and scarves to go outside when Euphemia appeared again, still on a mission.

“Alright, I’m off to the bakery and won’t be back until around six…and I was _thinking_ , wouldn’t it be nice if the two of you cooked supper?”

“Huh?” James noised, looking up from tying the grey scarf around his neck.

“There’s plenty of food in the fridge; cookbooks are on the shelf…It will be great practice.”

“Mum, _no_. I’ve only cooked like two times in my entire life and they were both a disaster.”

“Oh, honey, you were _twelve_ and it’s not that much different than brewing a potion. And besides, one day you’re going to have a _wife and kids,_ and you’ll have to cook sometimes,” she said matter-of-factly.

Sirius ground his teeth and snapped his head up, “We can handle it,” he said resolutely, surprising both Mrs. Potter and James. They both turned to look at him with raised brows.

“I mean, I’m sure we can _figure it out_ ,” he said more calmly, smiling tightly and clenching his fists at his sides.

“Brilliant! If you two need any help just give me a ring at the bakery.”

When they walked outside, James turned towards him, shooting him an incredulous look.

“Wanna tell me what all that was about?”

“You will _not_ be cooking for a wife and kids…not if _I_ have anything to do with it,” Sirius growled.

James threw his head back and laughed heartily, shoving against his side.

And Sirius tried not to smile, but he couldn’t help it. Not with James laughing his damn head off.

“Yeah, yeah. Let’s just hurry up and get all this work done…I’m sure cooking is gonna take most the day.”

“You know, I like it when you’re bossy,” James said, elbowing him in the side as they walked to get the rakes.

“Good, because that’s just how I be,” Sirius sniffed.

“And so poetic, too,” James sighed.

***

~J~

The garden work ended up taking _several hours_.

Though, that may have been because they’d gotten into a massive leaf fight right after they’d just spent hours and hours raking them into neat piles. Apparently, Sirius just couldn’t resist dumping an entire handful over James’ head, and how could James _not_ tackle him for doing that? He desperately wanted to snog Sirius senseless in a pile of leaves, but with his father just a few feet away, working in his potion’s shed, he decided against it. Sirius had just laid there on a bed of leaves, all soft and gorgeous with red lips and mussed up raven hair, gripping onto his wrists as he straddled him, and in that moment, James feared he might literally cry. Like a full-on, proper sop. The orange leaves made a fiery halo around Sirius’ head, his crystal blue eyes sparkling in contrast, and his please-kiss-me mouth quirked in a knowing grin. It was all just too much. James had groaned and rolled off him, lying on his back in the leaves, and inhaling the faint smell of smoke and cinnamon.

They had stayed like that for a while, watching the puffy clouds sail by, only the sound of their breath coloring the crisp air. James had reached over and taken Sirius' hand, entwining their cold fingers together and smiling up at the sky, thinking that life couldn't possibly get much better. 

***

~S~

Eventually, both stiff and cold, they pulled each other up and brushed the leaves off each other’s legs and backsides.

“So what d’you wanna cook?” James asked, hanging his coat up on the rack as they walked back inside the house.

“Um, well I’ve never actually _cooked_ anything…So I really don’t know.”

“You’ve _never_ cooked before?” James hissed, his eyebrows raised so high it looked like they might just fly right off his face.

“No. Not unless accidentally incinerating something with a _spell_ counts. Or like when we made those s’mores in fourth year. ”

James huffed. “Well, _you’re_ the one that volunteered us for this delightful task, so you’d better figure it out!”

“Hey, _you’re_ the one that’s actually cooked before!”

“Yeah—when I was _twelve_! And I nearly burnt down the entire bloody house!”

“Brilliant.”

“Exactly.”

“Well it’s four o’clock now so we have exactly two hours until your mum comes home…It could take us that long just to decide what to do,” Sirius sighed exasperatedly.

“Wait, I have an idea!” James exclaimed as he bolted towards the stairs.

“Bloody brilliant…” Sirius muttered under his breath, watching him go.

A moment later James appeared again, holding both of their wands in one hand and a large book in the other.

“And your plan is?” Sirius asked, hopping up on the counter and swinging his feet.

“Magic!”

“Go on…”

“Well, I brought my Potions book—I thought it might help…And we can rifle through some of mum’s wizarding cookbooks, and surely there will be _something_ we can do.”

James was biting his lip with a fervor, his face all scrunched up, full of worry and gorgeous as always, and Sirius thought he’d never looked more desirable. “C’mere you big oaf,” he said, leaning back on the counter top with his hands and motioning with his chin.

James grinned with surprise and walked towards him, stopping about a foot away.

“Closer,” Sirius said, his mouth twitching into a full on smirk.

James stood between his open legs and set the wands and book down on either side of him, hovering over him, as Sirius continued to lean back leisurely, never touching him. 

They stared at each other for a beat, all thoughts of cooking now far from their minds.

“Prongs—"

But before he could finish, James had closed the distance and cupped the back of his head, latching onto his lips with a fiery kiss. Sirius withered, wrapping his arms around his neck and pulling him closer as he spread his legs wider, thinking how perfectly James fit between them. They should snog like this more often, he mused.

James pressed him back into the counter, deepening the kiss and holding onto his face for dear life as if it were a Quaffle.

_Sweet Jesus…_

Things were getting much too heated for the kitchen countertop and Sirius pushed back, surprised he even had the strength or the willpower. James was testing all of his resolve, as usual. 

“Blimey, aren’t we supposed to be cooking?” he asked breathlessly and practically cross-eyed. 

But James just went for his mouth again, biting onto his bottom lip and sucking.

Sirius' toes curled and his eyes fluttered shut.

“James…we need to save this for the _bedroom_ …It’s not safe here,” he hissed, pulling back again and darting his eyes around the room.

James pouted adorably, (his perfect, plush lips were _made for it_ after all). “Well, then let’s take it to the bedroom.”

“If we do, we’ll never get supper cooked,” Sirius frowned. “And why must _I_ always be the adult in this relationship?”

“Maybe because you have an _old soul_ ,” James said smirking, his green eyes glittering.

Sirius rolled his eyes, playfully pressing his hands against his chest and pushing him back before hopping off the counter.

“Okay, how about we do a Shepherd’s Pie?” James finally said.

“Okay, what kind?”

“Well, we’ve got loads of potatoes and mum wants to use up the leftovers in the fridge, so I say we just scrounge from there.”

“Are we gonna do it the wizard’s way or the Muggle's?”

“Maybe both. I’ve never used magic with cooking but we can try…there are some suggested charms in here,” he said, holding the book closer to his face, his nose nearly touching the page.

Sirius smirked and snatched James' glasses off the counter, holding them out to him.

“Oh, thanks…”

“Who’s the _old_ _soul_ now?” he grinned.

“The _age of my soul_ has nothing to do with my poor eye sight,” James said tartly, sliding on his black rimmed glasses and pursing his lips.

And Sirius nearly laughed out loud at his ridiculousness, but then his breath hitched as he stared at him. James in _glasses_ always managed to take his breath away. He wasn’t sure how he ever paid attention in class or comprehended anything whilst they were studying.

_Those blasted glasses…_

They were surely to blame for all of his low marks.

He grabbed a bowl of potatoes as James was busy looking for a pan, “Does your mum have a potato peeler?”

“Um, I’m not sure. I think she uses a charm for that. Let me look in the book…Oh, here it is—it says use, ‘PEELATIO’ with a swish and flick of the wand, and that should do the trick.”

“Okay, I’ll give it a try…PEELATIO!” Sirius said, and he swished his wand towards the potato, but nothing happened; it just sat there.

“You try,” he said, frustrated.

“PEELATIO!” James bellowed with a flourish of his wand, and the skin simply fell off the potato and onto the counter. “Brilliant!” he exclaimed, and Sirius couldn't help but wonder if that same charm worked on _clothes_ as well. 

“Well, you always _were_ better at charms,” he sniffed. “I guess you can handle the potatoes and I’ll chop the carrots like a damn Muggle.”

James just snickered.

They worked side by side, concentrating too hard to talk much, that is, until Sirius yelped loudly after nicking his finger. He’d been too busy trying to impress James with his speedy chopping skills.

“Bugger! I’m gonna _die_!” he wailed, holding up his bloody finger, his blue eyes as wide as saucers.

“No you’re _not_!” James hissed, grabbing his hand and promptly sticking his finger in his mouth, sucking the blood away.

Sirius flinched in surprise and then suddenly began to feel very warm. _Much_ too warm, thinking it should be illegal for James to ever suck on his fingers...or any part of his body. The _audacity_.

“Why is everything you do so bloody _hot_?” he breathed out in amazement.

“Only to _you_ ,” James smirked, still continuing to slurp around his finger. He popped it out of his mouth, inspecting it. “I think we’ve got some Essence of Dittany” somewhere. Hang on,” and he started rummaging through a drawer. “Ah, here’s the first-aid kit...shit...The bottle's empty. Well, I guess we’ll just have to go the Muggle route,” and he held up a little tube of ointment and a Band Aid. He took Sirius’ hand and dabbed some medicine on the cut and then carefully wrapped the bandage around his finger, finishing by placing a light kiss on it.

“I should injure myself more often,” Sirius breathed, wearing a dopey expression.

“Why? So you can use Muggle medicine?” James asked looking up, a loose curl falling over one eye.

“Something like that,” Sirius replied dreamily, starting to grin.

“Okay, where were we before you bled all over the carrots?”

“I did not _bleed_ all over the carrots…but just in case, I’ll give them a rinse.”

“ _I’ll_ chop the rest of the veggies and _you_ boil some water for the potatoes.”

***

~J~

Sirius filled a pan with water and placed it on the stove. “Erm, exactly how do I...” he said, fiddling with the knobs.

James sighed and walked over to him, placing his hands on either side of the stove and caging him in, but keeping a few inches between them. He inhaled deeply, catching a very dizzying whiff of Sirius' shampoo, and suddenly felt faint. "Um, you just," and he took Sirius' hand and placed it on a knob, “twist this dial and put the flame on high…and wait for the water to boil.” He gulped as Sirius leaned back into him, pressing his back against his chest, “…and then put the potatoes in…or at least that’s what the…erm… book said.”

“Okay, got it,” Sirius nodded.

But he was far from done; a taste of Sirius Black simply wasn't _enough_. He moved in closer behind him and slipped his arms around his waist, squeezing, and nuzzling against the side of his face. 

“Oi! Get back to work, you!”

James chuckled by his ear before reluctantly turning back to his vegetables. As he was finishing up, a thought occurred to him, “Hey, I think we’re missing something,” he said, going over to the pantry and pulling out two of his mum's frilly aprons. He held them up with a grin.

“Um, no. I’m okay, thanks.”

“But you’d look _so_ bloody cute,” he pouted.

Sirius pursed his lips.

“Oh, alright, give it here,” he said, snatching it from his hand and yanking it on. He looked up at James and batted his eyelashes, “That shade of _pink_ goes lovely with your hair,” he crooned, reaching out and tugging on one of James’ ruffles.

And James couldn't help but grin goofily. “And that shade of _blue_ goes _perfectly_ with your eyes.”

Sirius snickered and shook his head. “You are _such_ a tosspot.”

"Takes one to know one," James quipped.

Sirius just pursed his lips and shook his head, but James was right, he _did_ look _bloody_ _adorable_.

“Okay, I think everything's done and all we need to do is combine it all and then let it bake..." James said.

Sirius made the Shepherd’s Pie even more special by spelling the letter “J” in peas on the very top. James grinned when he saw it and quickly formed an “S” right next to it. “Now, it’s perfect,” he said, before putting the dish in the oven and setting the timer. “We did it!” he exclaimed, spinning around and picking Sirius up off the floor in a bear hug, swinging him around.

“Well, we’re not done yet, love!” Sirius laughed, gripping onto the tops of his shoulders.

“What d’you call me?” he asked, stopping abruptly.

“Love. Or do you prefer _babycakes_?” Sirius asked, pinching his cheek.

“I like them both!” James said grinning widely and feeling giddy.

“Well, I figured it was about time I had some names for you, I mean besides _Prongs_ ,” Sirius said in a low voice.

James just grinned even wider and swung him around again.

“But we still need a dessert, don’t you think?” Sirius asked, brushing a piece of hair back from James' face.

“I thought _you_ were the dessert,” James said breathlessly, letting him slide down his body and to the ground. 

“Ha-bloody-ha.”

“Yeah, we probably do. What do you suggest?”

“Hmm, nothing too challenging…”

Mr. Potter suddenly walked in through the back door, looking frazzled, his dark hair sticking up in all directions and his horn-rimmed glasses askew. 

They both jumped back from each other by at least a foot.

“Hey, pop! How’s the hair cream coming?”

“It’s almost there…” Fleamont said, furrowing his brows. “Hey, I might need to use the two of you to test it out…maybe you could help me sometime?”

“Sure, as long as it doesn’t do any _permanent_ damage to us,” James smirked.

“No, I’m well past that stage, worked out the worst of it on your mother and me,” he said with a bemused chuckle. “I’d just like to test it out on different hair types.”

“Sure thing. Just let us know.”

“Are you lads cooking tonight? Something smells good.”

“Yeah, we’re… erm, _trying_ ,” Sirius said with a shrug, absently tugging on his apron.

“Well, as long as you don’t _poison_ me…St. Mungoes is rather busy this time of year,” Fleamont said over his shoulder as he walked to the living room and turned on the telly.

“Okay, so the dessert?”

“Yeah…” James said, biting his lip.

“How about we do a chocolate pudding?” Sirius suggested.

“Yeah, that sounds good. I think mum has some instant stuff.”

He gathered the ingredients and started pouring them in a bowl and then grabbed a whisk.

“Hey, are you gonna let me do _anything_?” Sirius pouted.

“Oh, yeah...Here, you can whisk," he said, handing him the utensil.

Sirius moved to stand in front of the bowl, “But how do you whisk?”

James rolled his eyes and grinned. He moved behind him, holding his hand and moving it in a circular motion. “Like this,” he said as he pressed up against him, peering over his shoulder and feeling rather warm.

_Never gets old._

“Oh,” Sirius breathed.

James pulled back, smirking, and went to the oven. “Looks good,” he said, taking off his oven mitts and setting them on the counter.

Sirius set the bowl of pudding in the fridge to chill and smiled at him. “I like you domestic.”

“I’m glad. Because I rather like being _domestic_ with _you_..."

***

~S~

“Something smells wonderful! You boys really _did_ cook!” Euphemia exclaimed as she walked in the kitchen.

“Of course we did, mum!” James said, shaking his head as she pecked him on the cheek.

“And you’ve set the table, too! How lovely! We should do this more often.”

“Now, don’t get any ideas! This might have been a one-time deal.”

“But you didn’t even burn the house down, so that’s already a huge improvement!”

“We’ll see how you feel _after_ you’ve eaten.”

“Hey now! Don’t start hating on my cooking skills just yet!” Sirius piped in, tossing a dish towel over his shoulder.

“Alright,” James said, looking him up and down hungrily and then winking. 

Sirius blushed, realizing they were both still wearing their frilly aprons.

They all sat down at the table and stared at each other. Sirius gave James a small kick in the leg. “Oh, erm, I’ll serve,” James said, looking to him to confirm that’s what he wanted. Sirius nodded in approval. James took their plates and heaped a copious portion on each one.

Mrs. Potter was the first to take a bite and she had nothing but praise. “Are you sure you didn’t get this from the market?” she kept asking.

James and Sirius just grinned smugly, so proud of their victory.

Dessert was a hit as well, and they all agreed that Sirius had whisked the pudding into silky-smooth perfection. He couldn’t help but beam, soaking up as many compliments as he could get.

He and James even cleaned up the kitchen, deciding to get more practice with their household charms and bickered like an old married couple as they did.

“No, it’s _swish-flick-swish_ , not _swish-swish-flick_ …” James hissed.

“Well, that’s _not_ what I read in the book,” Sirius said, brushing his hair out of his face and trying to find the page to prove him wrong.

“How about we just agree that _I’m right_ and stop wasting time,” James growled, catching his eye and then looking pointedly towards the stairs. 

That shut him up.

“Oh…yeah…I think you _are_ right.” 

They finished up in a hurry, said their _goodnights_ , and bolted up the stairs.

“Don’t forget you have bakery duty tomorrow!” Euphemia yelled up after them.

“Okay, mum!”

“And you need to be there at _five_ so you’d better be in bed early!”

James groaned and shut the door.

~~~

“Five? As in _five a.m._?” Sirius hissed. “Blimey.”

“Yeah, I know. It’s a pain in the arse. She just let us off easy during the summers.”

“Well, we definitely can’t stay up all night snogging then.”

“Bollocks.”

“And then your family will be here for the holidays…” Sirius trailed off, staring off into the distance. “How’re we ever gonna be alone again?” 

“I dunno, but we’ll find a way. We may have to take the car and go somewhere…" James said, sauntering towards him, "because I can’t keep my hands off you for a bloody week, much less a _day."_ He reached out and took hold of his waist, tugging him forward. 

Sirius blushed all the way to the tips of his ears and beamed up at him, and then he grazed his fingertips over his jaw. “You need a shave, mate.”

“I thought you might prefer me _rough_ ,” James grinned, wrapping his arms around his back and pulling him even closer.

“I just _might_ …Leave it and we’ll see,” he breathed, standing on his tip-toes and planting a kiss on his jaw.

How many times had he wanted to do that?

_Too many to count._

“Mmm,” James hummed. “You know, you’re not so hairless yourself..."

Sirius chuckled. “Yes, James I _do_ have hair.”

“No, I mean on your _face_ …but I like it. Leave it.”

“Okay, any other requests?”

“Mmm, yes,” he said picking him up off the ground and holding him like a rag doll. “Just kiss me, you _fool_.”

Sirius only had the chance to exhale before James smashed their lips together and kissed him desperately, enveloping his entire body with his large one, until Sirius was squirming for air and pinching at his shoulders.

Would he ever get his fill of this? Would James ever stop surprising him?

_Doubtful._

They finally broke apart, panting.

“We can’t do this all night,” Sirius whispered as he cupped James' face between his palms, even though that’s _exactly_ what he wanted to do. _God_ , how he wanted to.

“I know, but just a little bit longer… _please_?” James whined.

“Oh, alright, if you insist.”

“You know you want to.”

“Of course I want to! But one of has to—"

“Be the sensible one…I know, I know…but _Merlin_ , I just never thought it’d be _you_ ,” he breathed by his ear, sending a shiver up his spine.

“You and me both,” Sirius snickered.

_You and me both._

***

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 😍🎉🥣🔮🥧🔥


	12. Love Bites and Loathing

***

~J~

The next morning they were awoken to the sound of James’ blaring alarm clock.

“Bloody hell! Shut that damn thing off!” Sirius screeched.

James grunted and whacked it with his hand.

They lay in their beds a few minutes, until _finally_ James made himself get up and shuffle to the loo. When he came back out, he found Sirius still in bed, buried deep under his heap of blankets with only a bit of his black hair sticking out from under his pillow. He padded over and plopped down next to him.

“Wake up, sunshine.”

“I ain’t nobody’s sunshine,” Sirius growled, his head still under the pillow.

James chuckled and yanked the covers back; he wanted nothing more than to crawl into bed with him and spoon him to the moon and back, but refrained. Now was _not_ the time for cuddling. But abstaining was _agony_.

“If you don’t get up I’m gonna have to tickle you…”

“Alrigh’, alrigh’, m’up,” Sirius slurred, pushing himself up on his elbows and glaring up at him with puffy, half-closed eyes. “But only for you.”

James grinned and playfully slapped his bum, hopping off the bed.

“You can’t just spank me and walk away,” Sirius grumbled.

***

~S~

“Do you think it’s a good idea to have your hair so long at the bakery?” Sirius asked, eyeing James in the mirror after they’d finished brushing their teeth.

“Why?”

“Well, I mean you might lose a hair in the pastries or something.”

“Your hair’s long, too, you git! And besides, I can always put it up like this,” James said scrunching his hair in a messy bun on top of his head, a few loose tendrils falling around his face.

_Nope. Definitely not._

Sirius gulped, feeling his face flush. “Um, maybe down’s better…” he said, thinking no one but himself should have the privilege of seeing James with his hair like that.

“What’s this about?” James asked, turning towards him and leaning his hip against the cabinet.

“Well…frankly, you look too _sexy_ either way,” he said in a low voice, “and I’d rather not have every girl in town gawking over…over…my _boyfriend_.”

James’ jaw dropped as he stared at him, and then he quickly closed the distance and grabbed Sirius’ round the waist. “Is that what I am?” he asked with a dopey half grin.

“Well, yeah…and it’s gonna be _hell_ that no one else knows it…” Sirius huffed, gripping onto his biceps and looking away.

“Hey,” James said, tilting his chin up with his finger, “ _I_ know it and that’s all that matters.”

“Yeah, I guess. It’s just hard. You haven’t experienced what it’s like yet…”

James frowned. “We’ll get through this, okay? I think it’ll get easier with time. Like, the longer we’re together, the more we’ll trust what we have and not care what other people think…”

“Since when did you get to be so wise?”

“Since I fell for you.”

Sirius pursed his lips, desperately trying to hide his ridiculous grin, but failing miserably.

James leaned down, gently cupping the sides of his face with his wonderfully large hands, and pecked his lips.

Sirius sighed and nearly melted into the rug, desperately wishing he could hold onto the moment. But alas, duty called.

They hurried downstairs and outside to Mr. Potter’s car, which James drove the short distance to the bakery; the rest of the village still fast asleep. They turned on the lights in the shop and began prepping for the day, and at half past five, Mrs. Franklin arrived, a sweet, elderly woman who worked there part time. She was delighted to see them and couldn’t get over how much they’d grown since the summer.

A few minutes later, a young girl about their age with long, yellow-blonde hair and large blue eyes, arrived.

The infamous _Susan Smith_.

Sirius looked her up and down with disdain, his lips pursing into a thin line.

James held out a hand and cheerfully introduced himself and Sirius.

 _Always the gentleman,_ Sirius thought with a sneer.

From the get-go it was obvious that Susan was completely besotted with James. And why wouldn’t she be? From his luscious locks that dusted the tops of his broad, please-grip-onto-me shoulders, to the irresistible dimples in his cheeks…And those emerald eyes! They could charm even the dourest person…Not to mention the fact he had a body that would make even Adonis jealous!

Sirius wanted to strangle her.

He merely nodded his head when introduced and continued sorting the display of hot cross buns.

“So how long have you been working here?” James asked the girl.

“Oh, since the end of the summer…I suspect right after you left. I was sorry not to have met you,” she said, blushing and batting her overly-mascaraed eyelashes.

_That raccoon..._

Sirius grimaced, squeezing a muffin a little _too_ _hard,_ and causing it to crumble to pieces in his hand.

***

~J~

“Do you work here part time?” James asked the girl as he raked his hair back out of his eyes, thinking maybe he was right and he should have put it up.

“Yes, mostly on weekends,” she trailed off, staring up at him with a peculiar, drunken expression.

Quickly seeing that the conversation was going nowhere in a hurry, he decided that putting Susan to _work_ would be the best option—not to mention the fact that he could literally _feel_ the jealousy radiating off of Sirius like a furnace.

 _Best to get her out of the way and quick_ …

“Okay, well we’ve got it covered up front for a bit, how about giving Mrs. Franklin a hand in the back?”

“Sure,” she breathed, still staring at him with dazed eyes.

“Great!” he replied, plastering on a smile.

He turned to Sirius who was currently preoccupied with swiping a pile of muffin crumbs into a bin.

“Did you have a fight with it?”

“Bugger off you dickweasel.”

“Hey, it’s not _my_ fault!”

“I knew this is how it would be…Should have just stayed home in my warm bed,” Sirius grumbled.

“Oh, no you don’t. You’re not gonna abandon me to the wolves!” James hissed, grabbing hold of his wrist and tugging until Sirius looked up at him. “Look, we’re just gonna have to get used to this sort of thing. That’s all there is to it.”

“Or I could just kill her,” Sirius said matter-of-factly.

“You’re not gonna _kill_ anyone. Consider this _practice_. You know, practice controlling your _jealousy_ …” He tried to hide his grin, but that only managed to enrage Sirius even further.

“And what are _you_ gonna _practice_?”

“Erm, not laughing at how scrunched up and red your face gets when you’re insanely jealous?”

Sirius glared at him.

“I mean…” he cleared his throat, “What I _meant,_ was not snogging you senseless when you look so bloody _adorable_.”

“Better.”

***

~S~

But Sirius was far from consoled.

_Two can play this game…_

He was more than willing to show James just how it felt to be _the jealous one._

It was six o’clock and a long line was already forming outside the shop. James went and opened the door, smiling broadly and welcoming the customers inside.

Sirius waited behind the counter, having had plenty of practice with it over the summers, and drummed his fingers on the glass display. It was mostly older people that came in at first, early risers getting their breakfast sweets and a cuppa.

And then a few girls showed up.

_Time to lay on the charm._

They saw James first and giggled and blushed. _Of course._

Yes, James’ boyish charm and charisma were uuber appealing, and of course his _god-like face and ridiculous body_ (Sirius and the rest of the Marauders were _still_ jealous over how early and how _hard_ puberty at hit him), but Sirius had a few things up his sleeve that James didn’t: experience and a certain dark and brooding persona that made girls downright _thirsty_. James didn’t really know _how_ to use his appearance or his words to his advantage, but Sirius certainly did.

“Hello, ladies,” he crooned, putting on his best, sexy smirk and leaning across the counter on his forearms. “What can I get you today, love?” he asked, singling out one of the girls, winking and shooting her his best half-grin. She instantly melted…as did the rest. They bantered back and forth and he relished every moment, feeling James’ eyes boring into him.

***

~J~

James stood behind the counter and gaped at Sirius; he was completely dumbfounded. Sure, he’d seen him flirt before…Sirius had always been an expert at it…He had a way with words and a certain wolfish set to his mouth that made girls crazy. He’d seen the way they drooled over him. But that was _before_ and this was _now_ , and for the first time since _ever_ , James started to become blatantly jealous over him. He didn’t like the way the girls casually touched his arm or grinned at him like they _actually_ had a chance. _He’s mine, you cow!_

One girl even had the audacity to slip him a piece of paper!

 _Probably with her bloody number on it,_ he seethed.

And it went on and on like that for the rest of the day. Susan kept peeping in from the back, but he didn’t even acknowledge her; he was too busy brooding, trying to control his temper and not look as crazed as he felt on the inside.

Sirius would just smile sweetly at him and turn back to his audience, wooing them with his many seductive charms.

James wanted to wipe the smug smile right off his pretty little pixie face.

Yes, _pretty_.

Something James had never really given much thought to, but the fact was, Sirius Black was hella _pretty_. And not only that, but elegant; graceful even. Though he knew Sirius would literally curl up his lip in disgust if he told him—maybe even punch him. But it was true! Without even trying, his movements were like that of a swan…or maybe more like a panther, silently stalking its prey. Sirius was a pretty, elegant, disgruntled, loud-mouth with blue eyes like sapphire pools you could drown in and a mouth so sensual, just thinking about it, the way his upper lip would slide up ever so slightly, revealing a single pointy canine, made James completely hot and bothered. It was like some kind of vampire-wolf shit and it made total sense that Sirius' Animagus would be a wild _dog_. And his throat! So slender and just begging to be kissed and caressed with soft fingertips; James suddenly remembered wrapping his entire _hand_ around it and pressing him against the glass window. His heart beat faster.

He scrunched his eyes shut and pinched the bridge of his nose, inhaling deeply. He was _not_ doing this now. Not in the middle of the blasted _bakery_.

But the flood of thoughts just kept coming.

The curve of Sirius’ waist; Sirius’ irresistible hipbones; Sirius’ tight arse; Sirius’ hands—so elegant he should be modeling rings or playing the bloody violin…not slipping Ice Mice into Snivellus’ tea. And god, Sirius’ _hair_! He always had the longest hair out of their lot, near shoulder length raven locks made of silk that framed his exquisite face in such a way it hurt; he only had to shake his head for it to fall perfectly in place. The only thing was, no one was allowed to _touch_ it. Sirius’ mother had vengefully cut it off in Third year, traumatizing him, and forcing him to return to school utterly humiliated and practically resembling a prison inmate. James’ blood started boiling just remembering it. And now… _now_ all he wanted to do was run his fingers through it unhindered. Touch every strand and memorize the feel, the smell, the weight of it. Show Sirius how beautiful it was and how sorry he was that it was ever taken from him...

The door to the shop shut loudly and jolted him back to his senses. He blinked and looked around. The long line of customers was gone and Sirius was silently wiping down the counter.

James swallowed hard, feeling all kinds of tangled emotions overwhelm his brain. He leaned over and whispered, “I know _exactly_ what you’re doing.”

“Me?” Sirius asked, feigning innocence and touching his fingertips delicately to his apron-clad chest. “What _exactly_ am I doing?”

“Trying to make me jealous.”

“And is it working?”

“Yes,” James said flatly.

“Brilliant. It’s good practice for you, love.”

“I’ll get you for this,” James nearly growled, his cheeks flushing crimson. He wasn’t sure if he wanted to kiss him into oblivion or spank him. Maybe both.

“Oh I hope so,” Sirius replied solemnly, and turned back to the counter to seduce another group of eager girls that had just entered the shop. Clearly, all the females in the entire village had gotten wind that they’d be working at the bakery that day, (and James wouldn’t put it past his mother to have not put out some kind of advertisement.) 

He glanced at Sirius one last time, watching him swipe his hair back with slender fingers and smile seductively, but not at _him_.

His heart sunk and he trudged to the back, telling Susan to join Sirius up front whilst he helped Mrs. Franklin make more dough.

_Sirius and his goddamn games._

***

~S~

Sirius felt _slightly bad_ that he’d made James cross enough to go and hide in the back of the shop, but one day of jealousy in no way compared to the _years_ of torture he’d endured watching him chase Lily; and while he knew this wasn’t a contest, he _genuinely_ thought it would be good, and _humbling_ , for James to experience it himself…that it might better help him understand where he was coming from…

And the other part, just wanted retribution.

***

~J~

James knew it was pointless to try and make Sirius jealous by flirting with any of the girls. Sirius was _always_ jealous…that was nothing new. But James being aware of his _own_ jealousy was a completely foreign feeling, and not one he enjoyed. His brain started to swim with thoughts of what it would be like when they got back to Hogwarts. And then he started remembering all the girls Sirius had snogged and he thought he might be sick. _Did they only just snog or was there more? How dare they touch him! Did Sirius actually enjoy any of it? I’ll kill them!_

This was more complicated than he’d thought.

They’d been living in _fantasy land_ for the past week, safely tucked away from the world, but it wouldn’t always be that way. Real life would catch up with them eventually, and he knew it wouldn’t be easy.

“Dearest, I think you’ve beaten all the air out of that dough,” Mrs. Franklin said, eyeing him curiously over her half-moon spectacles.

James looked down at the dough squished flat under his fist, having completely forgotten what he was doing. “Oh, yeah, you’re right,” he sighed.

~~~

Soon, it was time to close up and he returned to the front, glancing at Sirius and Susan who were busy cleaning up the display. He grabbed the broom and started sweeping with his back to them.

***

~S~

Sirius eyed James sweeping sulkily in the corner and his heart clenched. In that moment, he didn’t care about some daft jealously contest, he just wanted to tell him he was sorry for pushing him too far.

_Shit._

Mrs. Franklin came out from the back and told them she’d lock up and they could head home early.

Susan wistfully said “Bye!” to James, but seemed disappointed when he wasn’t as cheery back.

Sirius was at least relieved he hadn’t indulged her.

They got into the car and James started it, still not saying a word as they pulled out onto the street.

“Hey,” Sirius said softly, “I didn’t mean to make you so upset…I’m sorry, love. I really didn’t.”

James sighed heavily and frowned, “Just wait,” he said in a low voice, staring straight ahead and chewing on his lip.

Sirius’ eyes widened, thinking maybe he _really_ did take his flirting too far. Did James not want to be with him anymore? Had he royally buggered this up? All manner of dreadful thoughts filled his brain.

They finally pulled up to the house, the only ones there, as Mr. and Mrs. Potter were still at the station picking up James’ relatives.

They trudged slowly up the stairs to the bedroom, and with every passing second, panic started to rise up in Sirius, seizing hold of his heart.

_Too far…I went too bloody far…Why am I always taking things too bloody far?!_

Finally, he stood in the middle of the room, staring at James worriedly and watching with wide eyes as he shut the door and locked it.

“Listen—" he started to say, but didn’t get to finish, because James rushed towards him and pushed him up against the wall, grasping hold of his shoulders. They both just stared at each other in shock for a split second, and then James was claiming his mouth like some kind of wild animal.

This was not what he’d expected. Not at all.

He felt like his mouth was on fire. _Everything_ was on fire. He pulled back from the burning kiss, feeling lightheaded and boneless, gasping for air.

James looked down at him, panting, his nostrils flaring, and then he stepped back and started yanking off his own scarf and unbuttoning his coat with a vengeance, his fingers flying.

“James, I’m sorry for what I did…I just wanted you to know—"

And he was cut off _yet again_ by James’ relentless mouth, practically losing consciousness because of it. 

“You taste like sugar,” James murmured between ravenous, sloppy kisses, simultaneously unbuttoning Sirius’ coat and sliding it off his shoulders to the ground.

“And you taste like _sin_ ,” Sirius breathed, pulling back to stare at him. James had _never_ acted like this before.

James smirked seductively, his green eyes darkening.

Sirius swallowed. “Maybe I should make you jealous more often.”

James just grinned and gripped him under the arms, tossing him onto the bed like he was a feather, and then he started to unbutton his own shirt in a hurry.

Sirius gulped and stared up at him, his heart pounding in his throat.

_What is he doing?! What’s happening?!_

James yanked his button-down off and threw it to the floor, then un-tucked his fitted black undershirt and slid it up and over his bare stomach, revealing his jaw-dropping six-pack; he pulled it over his head and tossed it to the side like some kind of lothario. 

Sirius gawked at him, his eyes gliding over every delicious, tight muscle…from his swollen pecs, down to his perfectly chiseled abs and hip bones…all places his fingertips had only dreamt of touching. He swallowed hard, suddenly finding it very difficult to breathe.

“Are you just gonna watch?” James teased, cocking a brow.

“Maybe,” he exhaled. “I’m not exactly sure what we’re doing.”

James smirked devilishly and moved towards the end of the bed, standing before him and breathing hard through his nose, waiting. 

Sirius’ eyes widened as he slid down towards him, his heart pounding.

_Holy shit, holy shit, holy shit!_

James crouched down between his open legs and stared up at him, and then he placed a hand on each knee and slowly started sliding them up his thighs, stopping just before Sirius nearly fainted. He shuddered. Never, in all his life, had he felt such a sensation. Such a burning heat or intoxicating thrill. Everything was going blurry and warm and he narrowed his eyes to James’ parted lips; noticed how heavily he was breathing. He looked in his eyes; his pupils were blown.

_Maybe he wants this as much as I do…_

***

~J~

_Holy fucking hell._

James stared up at Sirius with a racing heart, every part of him buzzing, electrified; hungry.

His hands felt like they were burning and he half expected to see smoke rising from underneath them. He’d never touched Sirius like this and the sensation was going straight to his head.

He didn’t know exactly what he was doing but he didn’t care. He’d figure it out along the way.

He gazed deeply into Sirius’ eyes and could see his own hunger mirrored back.

_He wants this, too._

***

~S~

Sirius opened his legs wider and stroked the side of James’ face with his finger, tucking a loose curl behind his ear, and as he did, James closed his eyes and exhaled shakily, and he knew without a doubt they both wanted the _same thing_. He leaned forward and kissed his lips, a burst of feeling exploding in his lower belly and shooting straight up to his head. _Holy shit!_ Suddenly, James was pushing him back onto the bed and crawling on top of him on all fours. Sirius gasped for air between scorching kisses and started trying to unbutton his own shirt, but James quickly swatted his hands away. “Let me,” he breathed, straddling his hips. Sirius just laid there in shock and let him take it off.

Bare chested and red-faced, he stared up at him in awe, and then, feeling infinitely brave, he reached his hands up and slowly ran his fingers down James’ muscular pecs; over his abs of steel, and down to the metal clasp of his belt, his fingers trembling slightly.

“May I?” he asked.

“Yes,” James croaked out, suddenly not looking as self-assured as he’d appeared moments ago.

Sirius unbuckled the belt, using all of his concentration, and then unbuttoned his pants with shaky fingers, feeling like all the air had been sucked from the room, and then gathering more strength, he slowly pulled down the fly, never blinking.

He glanced up at James and saw that his eyes were closed and his lips parted—a sinful expression on his angelic face, and he felt faint yet again. Carefully sliding his fingers under the waistband of his briefs, he gripped onto James’ bare hips for the first time, feeling like his fingertips were igniting as his heart beat out of his chest.

James’ eyes fluttered open and he stared down at him, his expression unreadable but heart-stopping; he shoved his pants the rest of the way off, kicking them to the floor, until he was just in his briefs.

Sirius took one quick peak down the length of his body and then scrunched his eyes shut.

_I’m dreaming, I’m dreaming, I’m dreaming…_

And then James moved down his body, standing up with one knee balanced on the bed between his legs.

“May I?” he asked.

Sirius nodded, wide-eyed, and holding his breath.

And then James— _James fucking Potter!—_ was unbuttoning his pants and yanking them off him with finesse, as if he did this sort of thing all the time, whilst Sirius just gaped at him, fireworks perpetually going off in his head.

_Holy shit, holy shit, HOLY SHIT._

James crawled back on top of him, hovering over him on all fours, his strong arms shaking slightly, and then he slowly lowered himself down, and the moment their bodies made contact they both hissed. Sirius convulsed and dug his nails into James’ taut back, absolutely positive that this had to be the most realistic, and bloody _hottest_ , fantasy he’d ever had in his entire life. In what world would James Potter’s half-naked body actually be pressed against his? In what world would James Potter _ever_ touch him like this?!

The weight of his body, the heat, the smell…the hunger.

It was better than heaven. Better than life itself.

And what happened next…Sirius would re-play in his mind for the rest of his life.

It may have been James’ first time giving a blowjob, but he never would have known it. Not by the things he did with his mouth…or with his sinful tongue. 

***

~J~

_God,_ the taste of Sirius Black!

James determined never to wash his mouth out again.

The way Sirius had writhed on the bed and bucked up his hips; tugged at his hair and panted his name like he was some kind of deity...

He knew without a doubt he’d never be the same.

And when Sirius touched him _there_ for the first time…just slipped his hand right inside his briefs and grabbed hold...God, he’d nearly screamed obscenities and lost all control. He never knew something could feel so good…or so _right_.

He never wanted to go back to a time before _this_.

Before touching and being touched in this way.

Before his body and his heart had simultaneously combusted…

It might have been Sirius’ _first time_ , but he never would have known it, not with the way his fingers knew just where to touch him, and his mouth knew exactly all the ways to undo him, as if he’d imagined it a million different times.

_Maybe he has…_

And for the first time ever in his life, James was seeing stars—fiery, white balls of bliss even when his eyes were clamped shut. It was as if something had exploded in his head and taken him right out of the atmosphere.

_Holy mother of Merlin…_

And then a car door slammed shut.

“Bloody hell!” he exclaimed, his eyes flying open. “They can’t already be back, can they?!”

“Sounds like it,” Sirius murmured.

They were lying side by side on their backs, staring up at the ceiling, still trying to breathe.

“I can’t move,” James said.

“Me either.”

“Shit.”

They heard more car doors slam shut and the sound of distant voices.

“Bloody hell,” James groaned, throwing his arm over his face. “I could cry.”

“I know...me, too.”

“They can’t find us like this!” he hissed, propping himself up groggily. He peered down at Sirius and his heart clinched; he looked so goddamn beautiful just lying there, his bare chest glistening with sweat as he panted for breath; his dark lashes fanning over his high cheekbones.

“C’mon,” James finally said, slowly rolling off the bed and trying to stand, but his legs felt like jelly and his head was still spinning. “Let’s shower. That'll help.”

Sirius just groaned, clearly with no intention of moving, so James hauled him off the bed and carried him in his arms to the bathroom. Sirius didn’t protest.

He turned on the hot water and pulled Sirius under it. They were both so sleepy and relaxed it was hard to do anything in a hurry.

“I feel like I’ve been blasted with a massively strong stunning spell,” Sirius slurred, leaning his back against the tile wall with his eyes closed. 

“Yeah, but in the _best_ kind of way,” James grinned, clumsily running a bar of soap over himself.

Sirius snorted.

They were just drying off when they heard Mrs. Potter yell from the hall, “James! Your cousins are here!”

James quickly wrapped a towel around his waist and opened the door, “Just getting out of the shower, mum! We’ll be down in a minute!”

“Wait, should you have said ‘we’?” Sirius hissed with panic-filled eyes.

“I seriously doubt she’ll think we took one _together_ ,” he chuckled.

Sirius grinned and ran a towel through his hair.

“Maybe we can go and say ‘hi’ but that we’re super exhausted from the bakery and need a nap,” James said.

“Yeah, that sounds good.”

Unable to help himself, he pulled Sirius in for a hug and then kissed the side of his throat. “Oh, and you might want to put a turtle neck on,” he said, pulling back and frowning. “I didn’t realize how much that love bite stands out.”

“Love bite?”

“Yeah, I gave it to you,” James said blushing. He softly brushed the spot on his neck with his fingertips.

“I don’t even remember,” Sirius said, smirking up at him.

***

~S~

They headed downstairs to welcome Euphemia’s family and were immediately attacked by James’ boisterous cousins, Isabella and Alexander. They knew Sirius from previous holidays and clung to him as well—Isabella full of questions and Alexander trying to climb on his back.

“Alright dears, let the boys breathe,” Geneva Cattermole, Euphemia’s sister, said, prying the kids away. “My, James, how you’ve grown! And you too, Sirius! What handsome young men you’ve become.”

They both blushed and thanked her.

Percival Cattermole slapped them each on the back and asked how Quidditch was coming that year, and then they ordered pizzas and ate around the dining table.

Sirius was almost nodding off into his vanilla ice-cream when Mrs. Potter finally said, “You two boys must be exhausted after your long day at the bakery. Why don’t you head on up to bed and we’ll clean up?” To which the kids whined, wanting to play with them longer, but were told they’d have plenty of time to catch up over the next week. 

And they were never so happy to be sent to their room.

“Finally,” Sirius groaned, collapsing backwards onto his bed.

“I know,” James yawned. “Longest. Day. Ever…and those kids are gonna wear us out. I swear.”

“Yeah, they’re a handful.”

James rummaged through both their drawers and got their pajamas out. He walked over to Sirius and handed him his.

“Thanks, love,” he said grinning.

James smiled back sleepily and pulled him up by the wrist, dragging him to the bathroom.

They got dressed together, grinning like half-asleep drunken fools, and then both collapsed onto James’ bed.

“Oi!” Sirius yelped, “I forgot about the mess we made on the duvet earlier…” he said, running his hand over the maroon fabric.

“Why? Is it wet?”

“No, it’s _dry_ but you can _see_ it,” Sirius replied, eyeing the pale white stains splattered all over the blanket. “Need to remember to wash it first thing tomorrow before anyone else sees it.”

“M’kay,” James mumbled, pulling him into his arms as he lay on his back. “I want to sleep with you,” he murmured by his ear, nuzzling his nose into his hair and inhaling.

Sirius’ heart swelled as he grinned into his chest. How was he really asking him that?

“But what if we get caught?”

“Mum always knocks before she comes in…”

“But we might not wake up…”

James just cuddled him closer and sighed.

Sirius grunted and reached for the quilt at the bottom of the bed, pulling it over them; now that he’d finally made it into James’ arms, in James’ _bed_ , he was loathe to ever leave, regardless of the risks.

James hummed contentedly and snuggled him closer, and Sirius never cared to sleep alone again.

***

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 😡🧁🥐☕️🍰🎉😘


	13. A Greater Incentive

***

~J~

The next morning they were awoken by the sounds of knocking and stifled giggles; little fingers were poking underneath the door jam, desperate to get their attention.

“Bloody hell,” James groaned, shoving the pillow over his head.

“Arrrgh,” Sirius noised, rolling on his side and snuggling up against him. “S’ too early.”

The knocking and laughing continued to get louder and James felt very grateful that he had a lock on his bedroom door…though, he wouldn’t put it past his precocious little cousins to try and pick it with a paperclip. “Okay, okay, we’re up! We’ll be down in a bit,” he rasped.

There was the sound of more laughter and feet running down the stairs.

“Sit’ gonna be like this all bloody week?” Sirius grumbled, his head now resting on James’ chest and his arm wrapped snugly around his stomach.

“Probably.”

Sirius lifted his head up and looked at him, blinking his eyes, and then he started chuckling. 

“What?” James asked, his sleepy eyes going wider.

“Nothing, Prongs. You’re just bloody _adorable_ in the morning.”

James smiled and closed his eyes, wrapping his arm around his shoulder and pulling him in even closer, a shot of heat going straight to his groin as he did. His heart sped up.

_How is this for real?!_

“So what’s on the agenda today?” Sirius asked.

“Mmm, I think mum said something about decorating the house.”

“Well, that’ll wear the kids out. Let’s give ‘em the most exhausting tasks just in case,” Sirius said, delicately stroking his cheekbone with his thumb. And James had to work on controlling his breathing. “Sounds good to me,” he managed to get out. They make me feel _old.”_

“I know…I don’t think we ever had quite _that_ much energy…” Sirius sighed. “Oh, speaking of _energy_ , are we gonna practice Quidditch any time soon?”

“I hadn’t thought about it, but yeah, we probably should. I bet we could sneak off to the field sometime. I don’t wanna get outta shape.”

“I’ll keep you in shape,” Sirius crooned with a devilish smirk that James couldn’t see, but _felt_ , all the way to the tips of his toes. His heart sped up several notches at the visual.

“I don’t doubt that.”

~~~

Eventually, they crawled out of their warm bed, dressed, and headed downstairs for breakfast.

The whole house smelled of blueberry pancakes and coffee and James’ mouth began to water.

“Mmm, its smells like heaven,” Sirius said sleepily before taking a sip from his mug.

“Where is everybody?” James asked his mum.

“They went to the garage to get out the boxes of decorations,” Euphemia replied, placing one steaming plate in front of Sirius, and then one in front of him. She placed the syrup bottle between them.

“Thanks. I don’t know why we don’t just use _magic_ to decorate instead of all that Muggle stuff,” he complained, pouring copious amounts of syrup all over his thick stack of pancakes.

“Save some for me, mate!” Sirius hissed, trying to snatch the bottle from him.

“Because, your father and I _enjoy_ the Muggle décor; it’s much more fun, and _challenging,_ than using quick magic. Creates more memories,” she said with a wink.

“Well, untangling lights for _five bloody hours_ is _not_ a fun memory for me,” he said around a mouthful of pancakes.

“Anything else on the agenda today?” Sirius asked, emptying the bottle of syrup over his stack.

“Yes, once we get the lights up I thought we’d go tree shopping in the village. It’s supposed to snow later so it’d be best to get it done soon.”

“I told you there was no point in cleaning up the back garden!” James complained.

Euphemia just smirked and continued cleaning the kitchen. “Alright, as soon as you two finish up, go out to the garage and get to work.”

James huffed loudly and turned towards Sirius. “I am _so_ using an untangling charm on those blasted lights. I’m not gonna have another repeat of last year.”

“Well, last year I was stuck rifling through _every single_ _bloody_ _ornament_ your family owns—since the beginning of TIME—looking for cracks to repair, and I couldn’t use magic either. I think I _still_ have super glue on my finger,” he said, holding his thumb up in front of James’ face and pouting.

James just chuckled, his large mouth so full he looked like a stuffed bullfrog. He swallowed hard. “Well, this year we _can_ use magic so it should be better, and besides, we have an even _greater incentive_ to get things done,” he smirked, raising his eyebrows exaggeratedly.

“Like what?”

“Like the _bedroom_ , you git!”

Sirius sputtered and nearly choked on his coffee.

“True, Prongs. Very true.”

***

~J~

They started bringing out all the boxes and setting them on the drive whilst the kids chattered away and rifled through old ornaments.

James found the box marked “lights” and sighed heavily as he pulled the lid off. _How_ they managed to get tangled in such an impossible knot, (without even being touched for a year!) he’d never know. He’d been so careful the previous Christmas to box them properly. Maybe his suspicion was right and there really was a house elf living in their garage...

“You must have packed these,” he said to Sirius, showing him the mess.

“Hey, now! Lights have always been _your_ job, and you know it,” Sirius hissed back, a mischievous glint in his blue eyes. “But yeah, I might have boxed that set.”

James just snickered and shook his head.

They carefully draped out the lights and then he grabbed his wand from his back pocket, determined to try out an untangling charm he’d been practicing for just this occasion.

With a swish and a flick the lights hovered in the air and then straightened themselves out in a flurry. “Brilliant!” he exclaimed, grinning widely and hoping that Sirius had just seen what he’d done.

There was the sound of a yelp and he spun around just in time to see Alexander drop a glass ornament on the concrete floor; the ball shattered, red shards flying everywhere, as his small face went pale and frightened. And then his eyes began to fill with tears.

“No worries, little lad,” Sirius said, quickly squatting down and patting his shoulder. He then pointed his wand at the broken ornament and said, “REPARO!” instantly causing the broken shards to mend back together again. The boy squealed with delight and lit up like a Christmas tree, and James just stood there, grinning at Sirius like a fool, his heart swelling to capacity, thinking, _Yep, that’s my man._

Sirius caught his eye and smirked, his cheeks rosy and blue eyes dancing.

_Merlin..._

James swallowed hard and had to look away.

After that, Alexander purposefully smashed about twenty more balls just to watch Sirius do more magic, that is until Euphemia came outside and said they actually needed to be _decorating_ the house, not destroying all the décor for the fun of it.

After lunch, they decided to go tree shopping before it started to snow. The kids were running around the house singing Christmas carols and throwing tinsel on everything in sight, including _James and Sirius_ , who just sat on the couch, completely resigned.

Eventually, they all piled into Mr. and Mrs. Potter’s cars and headed to the tree lot in the village.

~~~

“Looks like we’re gonna have a white one,” James whispered by Sirius’ ear, flicking his eyes up to the snow flurries. 

“Good, more cuddle time,” Sirius whispered back, raising his eyebrows up and down.

James just chuckled and squeezed his bicep with both hands, desperately wishing they were back in his bedroom.

The kids were hyped up on sugar and running around the tree lot like a couple of banshees on crack; they nearly toppled several trees over whilst playing hide and seek, that is, until James and Sirius grabbed them by the hands and pulled them over to a little stand selling hot chocolate—not that the excess sugar would help them in the long run, but at least it would occupy them for the _moment_.

And any moment with Sirius was well worth the effort.

They all finally decided on the perfect tree, though James was fairly certain it was going to require magic just to _squeeze_ it through the front door; it was impossibly massive. And when they got home, it took all of the men to unload it.

Sirius was helping to carry the top part when a stray branch whipped out and scraped his cheek. He yelped in pain, and James, so concerned over his well-being, promptly dropped his part, and ran over, causing Fleamont and Percival to fall over backwards with the tree landing on top of them.

But James only had eyes for Sirius.

He brushed his thumb over the scrape on his cheekbone and furrowed his brows, thinking that Sirius was far too pretty for such a mark. And how was his skin so soft? And why hadn’t he ever truly discovered the marvel of his cheekbones before?

“James…James? It’s okay, we can fix it _later_ …Let’s just…” Sirius said, gesturing towards the tree with a tilt of his head, as the other men squirmed and grunted underneath it, calling out for help.

“Right,” James breathed, quickly composing himself.

There would be time for Sirius and his perfect cheekbones later.

Together, they hoisted the tree back up whilst Percival and Fleamont grumbled over the needles now stuck in their coats. And James was right—they _did_ have to use a charm to get it through the front door. And when they finally stood it up in the living room, the tree top literally bent in half, pressing against the ceiling and forcing them to shrink it down a second time. 

“Now, it’s time to decorate!” Menerva exclaimed, clasping her hands together excitedly.

The kids whooped and hollered and started dancing around the room; clearly, the hot chocolate had given them a second burst of wind.

Mrs. Potter pulled out the ornament boxes and they all got to work decorating whilst eating left over pizza and drinking hot cider. James and Sirius took care of the higher ornaments and let Isabella and Alexander focus on the lower ones, and in a very strange and foreign sort of way, James almost felt as if they were a little family of their own…and his heart began to swell.

They finished off with his mum’s famous sticky toffee pudding (which nearly glued their mouths shut) and a countdown to turn on the lights. The massive tree was a brilliant collage of blue, red, and green lights as well as handmade ornaments and red velvet bows.

“Something’s missing,” Euphemia said frowning. “Oh, I know!” She rummaged in a box and pulled out one large, stuffed, bearded wizard who wore a pointed little hat of moon and stars and held a tiny wand in his outstretched hand. “Here he is!” she said, handing him to Fleamont, who then carefully set him atop the tree, and with a swish of his wand, the little wizard came to life, scattering green and red sparks as he spun around in a circle, making the children squeal with glee.

“Perfect,” James whispered, bumping against Sirius’ shoulder and smiling broadly.

~~~

“Hold still,” James said as he gently dabbed some ointment onto Sirius’ cut cheek with his finger.

“It’s really not that bad, love. I don’t think it needs medicine.”

“Well, you can never be too sure, and I’d hate for there to be a mark on your pretty little cheekbone.”

“Are you saying you wouldn’t still love me if I wasn’t _perfect_?” Sirius asked with a pout.

“You _aren’t_ perfect and I still _do_ love you.”

“Hey!” Sirius barked, poking him in the side.

James flinched. “But you’re still perfect to _me_ ,” he whispered, clasping his face delicately between his palms as if he were a child, and smiling down at him.

_Dear god, his face!_

“That’s better…Now, as a very wise chap once said—‘kiss me, _you fool’_.”

James started to grin and wasted no time bringing their mouths together. He pressed against his lips and melted into him, savoring each and every sensation that flooded his body; the delicious, insatiable heat unfurling in his lower belly simply making his head spin.

It was like that every time, and every time he was utterly _amazed_.

Sirius Black was _his_ and he would never get over it.

***

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ❄️🎄⭐️❄️🎄⭐️❄️🎄⭐️❄️


	14. Retribution is Sweet

***

~S~

The next day began much like the one before it—being woken much too early by the children rapping incessantly on their door.

“It’s gonna be like this every day, innit?” Sirius groaned, rolling over and accidentally whacking James in the face with his hand. 

“ARGH!”

“Oh, sorry, love,” he said, before snuggling up next to him and placing a quick, apologetic kiss on his chin. 

James smiled appreciatively with his eyes closed. “Why don’t we try and sneak away today and go to the field?”

“And practice some Quidditch?” 

“Or just snog in the car,” James said with a deep chuckle that vibrated his chest.

“Or that, too,” Sirius said grinning.

“Mum will probably have chores for us this morning, so let’s try and get away this afternoon...”

“Sounds good.”

***

~S~

Euphemia _did_ have more chores for them, an entire list in fact. She insisted their front garden look like a Muggle’s winter wonderland theme park—giant mechanical snowmen and all—except what their Muggle neighbors couldn’t tell was that the animated snowmen were actually moving by _magic_ , and not in fact, electricity.

Isabella and Alexander followed them around in the snow, chattering incessantly and being more of a nuisance than a help, and Sirius felt if they didn’t get some alone time soon, he was most assuredly going to lose it. 

Eventually, they headed back inside for lunch and to ask Mrs. Potter if they could sneak away for a few hours to get some Quidditch practice in. 

“But mum, we’ve gotta practice sometime… _please_?”

“Can’t you take your cousins with you?”

“Can’t they just take a _nap_?” James hissed under his breath.

“ _James_ , they want to spend time with the two of you—you can’t just run off or it’ll hurt their feelings.”

He groaned and looked to Sirius for help.

Sirius immediately perked up. “How about if we take them ice-skating tonight? If they let us go practice now, then we’ll take them to the rink later...”

“I think that sounds like a good compromise,” Euphemia said smiling.

James looked at him incredulously.

Sirius just smirked back and lightly punched him in the arm. “Let’s get our brooms, _mate_ ,” he said, jogging towards the stairs.

“You’re a bloody genius,” James whispered after closing the bedroom door.

“And you’re just _now_ realizing this?”

James sauntered over and grabbed him by the hips, squeezing so hard Sirius’ mouth popped open. “Now, don’t start that or we’ll never leave!” he hissed, swatting at him with wide eyes.

James just tugged him forward, their bodies slamming together, and pressed a hard and hungry kiss to his mouth. Sirius kissed him back equally hard, gripping onto the front of his jumper and getting completely lost in the moment.

“Need to find my broom, mate,” he mumbled against his lips.

James just tilted his head back even further with his fingers and deepened the kiss.

“Need to—" Sirius started to say, pushing against him and feeling exceedingly warm.

But James just leaned forward, zeroing in on his mouth again, clearly not done yet.

_He’ll be the death of me._

“No you don’t…Where’s the broom?” Sirius demanded, holding him back by his broad shoulders.

“Mmm,” James hummed, his eyes completely glazed. “They’re in the closet…”

“You get the brooms and I’ll get our clothes together.”

“Fine,” he huffed.

Sirius moved away and quickly grabbed some thermal undershirts and jumpers from their drawers along with some hats and gloves, whilst James rummaged in his closet for their brooms and the Quaffle.

“Here,” he said, chucking a shirt at James.

James grinned lazily before tugging his jumper slowly up his stomach and over his head, and Sirius couldn’t help but watch, gawking at his exposed muscles, his heart rate accelerating. And then James pulled the fitted waffle knit down over his bare abs and tucked it meticulously into his jeans, sliding his hand in much further than was necessary.

_Holy mother of all things merciful!_

Sirius’ eyes widened to capacity. He gulped, turning his back to him, and fumbled to change his own shirt with a flushed face.

And then James surprised him by coming up behind him and slipping his arms around his waist.

Sirius yelped. 

“Feeling shy?” James crooned next to his ear, turning his bones to liquid. 

“Nope, just horny.”

James chuckled deeply, the delicious sound making Sirius’ toes curl into the rug.

“You do have a way with words,” James breathed, before placing a kiss on his neck.

Sirius just leaned back against him and hummed.

***

~J~

Footsteps were coming up the stairs and they quickly broke apart. The door burst open and Alexander and Isabella were standing there, grinning like a couple of trouble-making doxies.

“Didn’t your mother ever teach you to _knock_?” James asked incredulously, shaking his head and realizing they absolutely needed to lock the door from now on.

“Maybe,” Isabella said blushing, “but we heard you were leaving us and wanted to know _why_?” She stared at him with pursed lips and her hands on her hips.

He sighed, “We’re going to practice some Quidditch for a few hours…”

And of course, the kids immediately started begging to come along, but he quickly held up his hands in protest. “But when we come back we’re taking the two of you ice-skating.” And then they started cheering excitedly and jumping up and down on his bed.

“Hey, you’ve been eating ice-cream in bed!” Isabella exclaimed, bouncing up and down.

“What?” James asked, his brows furrowed.

“See, right here, you spilt it all over the duvet. Vanilla ice-cream.”

James turned his head and looked to Sirius, who wore a horrified expression on his face, and suddenly, he realized _why_.

That was no vanilla ice-cream she was pointing at.

“Uh…yeah, that’s _definitely_ ice-cream,” he choked out as he walked over and took the kids by the hands, promptly leading them out the door. “Okay, you two go down and play now and we’ll finish getting ready,” he said, as he shut the door in their disgruntled little faces, being sure to lock it this time.

“Bloody hell!” he exclaimed turning to Sirius, his eyes bugging out as he raked a hand through his hair. “I thought you took care of that!”

“Forgot, mate,” Sirius replied, shaking his head. “Hey, at least your mum didn’t see it…” he said with a shrug. _“_ Let’s just strip both beds and put them in the wash and say we made a mess eating sweets.”

“Good idea.”

They trudged downstairs with their arms full of Quidditch equipment and bedding.

“They’ve been eating ice-cream in bed!” Isabella exclaimed to Euphemia and Menerva as the boys appeared.

James nearly tripped and fell down the stairs. “Our sheets are a bit dirty from all the _sweets_ …that’s all,” he said calmly as he headed towards the wash room.

“You need to wash your duvet, too?” Euphemia asked.

“Uh, yeah, I spilt something on it,” Sirius quickly interjected, shoving past James as if he were protecting the Quaffle.

“Ice-cream,” Isabella whispered conspiratorially as she sat perched on the bar stool like a princess on her throne.

Euphemia just eyed them suspiciously and shook her head. “Alright, you two have fun and don’t forget about ice-skating!”

“We won’t, mum,” James sighed before giving her a peck on the cheek as they headed out the door.

He was so bloody chuffed to get in the car and _finally_ be alone with Sirius, that he could barely see straight.

~~~

Sirius propped his feet up on the dash and leaned his seat back, grinning. “Finally, alone,” he muttered, closing his eyes.

“Hell yeah. We can do _whatever_ we want,” James said, flashing him a big smile and resting his hand on his thigh, squeezing tight. Sirius jumped slightly but then settled back again and placed his hand atop James’, lacing their fingers together.

They rode the rest of the way in comfortable silence, watching as the village disappeared and the secluded countryside rose up around them. James parked the car in their hidden spot and then they trudged through the snow to the part of the field that was more concealed by trees. The land belonged to an old farmer who never ventured out that far; they’d been using it to practice in for years. 

He unceremoniously dropped their equipment under a tree and surveyed the area with his hands on his hips. “It looks clear but I’ll put up some anti-detection charms just in case. You do that side and I’ll do this one.”

Sirius obliged, and soon they were hovering in the air on their brooms, darting up and down and around, getting the feel for it again.

“Ah, I’ve missed being on a broom!” Sirius said, sidling up next to him.

“Me too! Missed having something to grip!”

“Hey! That’s what you’ve got me for!” Sirius laughed, doing an upside down roll.

James laughed at him and then dove low with the Quaffle, throwing it as far as he could whilst Sirius zoomed off in a flash to get it.

They’d always been on the Gryffindor team together, and James had always excelled at being a Chaser; he just loved the thrill of it.

After several hours of strenuous play, and a lot of laughing, they were completely and wonderfully spent and shivering from head to toe due to their soaked underclothes.

“I think it’s time to call it a day,” Sirius said, his teeth chattering.

“Y-yeah,” James replied.

They headed back to the car, tossed their stuff in the back seat, and then quickly jumped inside and cranked up the heat.

James was still shivering furiously and Sirius’ nose was starting to run.

“I have an idea,” Sirius said sniffling. “Take off all your clothes.”

“Huh?”

“Yeah, they’re soaked and gonna give us a bloody cold…At least take off your jumper.”

James quickly complied and tugged it off, followed by his soaked undershirt. He sat there shivering, hugging himself and half-naked. “And this is s-s-s…supposed to help h-how?” he stuttered, as Sirius swiftly pulled his own jumper off and over his head. “Just trust me,” he grunted, now peeling his wet undershirt off. “Now, lean your seat aaaallll the way back…”

James did as he was told.

And then Sirius was crawling over the console and onto his lap where he sat straddling his hips.

“Oh.”

“Yeah,” Sirius breathed, clutching his shoulders and leaning down towards him, “I’ll get you warm.”

And James had no doubt that he would. Probably in record time, too. He clasped his shivering arms around Sirius’ bare back and pulled him even closer, hissing as their frigid skin made contact.

And then Sirius smirked.

But not just any smirk...

The kind where his lip went half-way up, barely exposing his white teeth. The kind that made James' insides quiver and turn to jelly whilst every other part of him caught fire and melted away. No one should have a mouth that sexy. No one should have lips so temptingly red. And as if reading his mind, Sirius tilted his head down, his sweat-soaked, raven hair falling around his face and framing it, and suddenly James surged towards him, latching onto his ice-cold lips and sliding his hands down to his arse, squeezing hard and grinding up into him.

Sirius let out a surprised grunt and dug his fingers into his shoulders, squirming on top of him in a wild frenzy; his mouth, his tongue, his hands now burning hot and relentless.

The car windows were quickly starting to fog up.

“How’re we…” James trailed off, suddenly feeling like he was already seconds away from another “vanilla ice-cream” incident all over his father’s car.

“Not sure…” Sirius said breathlessly as he started sucking a love bite on James’ exposed neck, greedily digging his fingers into the tops of his bare shoulders and making James nearly pass out from the sheer pleasure of it. He let out a groan and stiffened, realizing he was already well past the point of no return. Either the interior of his father’s car would take the brunt of his _passion_ or Sirius needed to come up with another plan, and quick.

“Sirius…I’m gonna…” he panted, digging his fingers into his arse and bucking up.

In a flash, Sirius leaned back and shoved the car door open and then started rapidly un-doing James’ pants with nimble fingers.

“What are y—"

“Just turn to your side and project that way!” Sirius said pointing at the snow.

“Bloody hell!” James cursed, clamping his eyes shut and doing just as Sirius directed. “You little shit,” he panted, his face scrunching up as a wave of both pleasure and shock washed over his body.

“What? You didn’t wanna get it all over the car and have to explain _that_ to your mum! And besides, there wasn’t enough room, or _time,_ for me to get my mouth down there,” Sirius said matter-of-factly.

James just kept his eyes shut, zipping his jeans back up, and panting for air. “Well, that…was a first..."

***

~S~

Sirius smirked at him and shook his head.

“Don’t you have to?”

“Yeah, but…”

“But what? You just made me defile _freshly fallen snow_ …now it’s _your_ turn.”

“Defile? That’s a little harsh,” Sirius chuckled.

“Quit stalling,” James hissed, sliding his hand down the front of Sirius’ jeans and gripping him firmly through the fabric.

Sirius’ eyes sprung open wide and his jaw dropped.

“We’re in this together,” James said in a husky voice, staring in his eyes.

Sirius just scrunched his face and let him work his magic, knowing that a few caresses from his agile fingers would be enough to undo him.

And he was right.

It only took James greedily pawing at him for less than a minute—another fantasy come to life—and he was writhing under his touch and then scrambling to get out the door.

Eventually, he crawled back to his seat, glassy-eyed and silent and wondering in what sort of strange reality he’d found himself. They pulled their damp jumpers back on, leaving their soaked undershirts in the backseat, and buckled up.

“Well, I guess that snow will forever be consecrated with our love,” James said thoughtfully as they pulled out onto the road.

Sirius just gazed out the window, smiling serenely, and laced their fingers together.

***

~S~

The kids were literally bouncing off the walls by the time they got home.

“They’re all yours!” Geneva said exhaustedly. “Good luck!”

“Brilliant,” James said flatly. “We’ve gotta shower first and then we’ll be ready to go.”

They raced upstairs, locked the door, and jumped in the shower together, still laughing about their experience in the car.

“Well, we woulda had more room if the damn steering wheel hadn’t been in the way,” James said, scrubbing shampoo into his hair. “Next time I need to be sitting in the _passenger’s_ seat.”

“Or maybe we should just try the _back seat_. I’m sure that would work wonders,” Sirius grinned, rubbing the bar of soap over his stomach.

“Okay, we’ll do that _next time_ ,” James grinned, his dimples so deep they held water.

They washed quickly, sneaking in a few wet kisses that only left them both wanting for more.

“Save it for tonight, Prongs.”

“Yeah, but how’re we ever gonna be able to do anything in here with them right next door?” James asked, cocking his head towards the wall. “We aren’t exactly _quiet_ ,” he smirked. 

“Well, we just can’t bang on walls and blurt out obscenities…we’ll figure it out, don’t worry. At least we’re in the same room!”

“Yeah…” James said thoughtfully. “I’m glad you didn’t end up staying in the guest room. That would have been bloody awful…”

“I’m sure I still would have ended up in your bed one way or another,” Sirius said, stroking his face before standing on his toes and pecking his lips. “Why do you have to be so damn irresistible? One kiss is never enough,” he said, grasping onto his chin and kissing him again, holding it for a long, lingering beat as James enveloped him in his arms and pulled him close.

“Ice-skating,” James finally mumbled against his lips.

“Yeah, yeah…”

“Hey, it was _your_ idea.”

“Yeah, well at least it bought us some alone time today.”

James pulled back and grinned, then playfully smacked him on the bum, his wet hand making a loud, popping noise when it made contact with his slick skin.

Sirius’ mouth fell open in shock, his eyes lighting up, and then he grabbed his face and kissed him again.

***

~J~

The ice-skating rink was packed when they arrived. Everything was covered in lights and looked like a winter wonderland that even outdid the Potter’s ostentatious front garden. There was a hot chocolate stand and the smell of freshly baked sugar cookies filling the cold night air. Snow flurries were even beginning to fall, adding icing to the cake of the already picturesque scene.

They rented their skates and started lacing them up. Christmas carolers and laughter filled the air as families happily skated together under twinkle lights strung above the rink, and James looked over to Sirius and smiled wistfully, desperately wanting to take his hand, pull him out onto the ice, and kiss him senseless amidst the crowd of people.

For _once_ he’d just like to make what they were public. Tell the whole goddamn world that he’d found something so rare…so perfect… 

Something he still didn’t fully understand himself and maybe never would...

Because Sirius was an anomaly.

An anomaly that made him feel things and want things he never dreamed possible…Made him want to _be_ things he never imagined.

How could one person have such an affect?

He sighed deeply, his heart expanding in his chest, and finished lacing up his skates.

***

~S~

Sirius was a much better skater than James. The saying, “The bigger they are, the harder they fall,” proved true. He just laughed and grabbed James’ arms, pulling him up every time he hit the ice. It at least gave them an excuse to be close, and he even wondered a couple of times if James hadn’t fallen on purpose, just so they could hold hands in public.

Isabella and Alexander were actually pretty good on the ice, skating circles around them and chattering away about nonsense.

Sirius was just admiring how bloody adorable James looked (for the millionth time that night) in his maroon beanie with his dark curls sticking out the sides as he clung to the edge of the rink for dear life, when Susan Smith appeared, disturbing his reverie.

***

~J~

“Hi, James!” Susan said beaming up at him. “Sirius,” she said nodding.

Sirius merely nodded back, crossing his arms defensively.

James smiled whilst trying to right himself up against the wall. He’d always been rubbish at skating. He could balance on a bloody broom but not blasted skates! “Hello, Susan,” he replied in a strained voice.

“Looks like you could use some help,” she giggled, skating over to him and wrapping her arm around his back, trying to hold him up.

His eyes immediately shot to Sirius, who was standing there with his mouth hanging open and his eyes nearly bugging out, and then just as quickly, he narrowed his gaze and glared daggers at Susan.

 _If looks could kill,_ James thought worriedly. 

“Uh, I think I’ve got it,” he said. “But thanks for the help.”

“Oh, it’s no trouble. I’m actually a very good skater. I can show you what to do.”

James looked pleadingly over at Sirius, begging for forgiveness with his eyes. 

But Sirius just scowled and then promptly turned around and skated off towards Isabella and Alexander at the other end of the rink.

 _Fabulous,_ he thought. _And this night was going so well._

“Here, you just lean to the side and push off, like this…” Susan said, trying to get him to mimic her.

James tried to stand and skate on his own, but then started to lose stability and gripped onto her for balance—which unfortunately, she took as a sign that he actually _wanted_ her help. 

“Um, can we go towards the hot chocolate stand? I need to get my cousins something to eat…”

“Sure,” she said, smiling up at him wistfully.

They made their way across the rink, but even when they stepped off the ice, she wouldn't let go.

 _Bloody hell,_ he groaned inwardly.

“I think I’ve had enough skating for one night,” he said, sitting down on a bench and starting to unlace his skates.

“No, you can’t yet! There’s still the _couples_ skate…”

“Uh…”

“Taking a break, are we?” Sirius asked, coming up behind Susan with the kids in tow, his voice an octave too high.

“Yeah,” James huffed, desperately trying to figure a way out of the awkward situation.

“Want me to get the kids some hot chocolate?” Sirius asked, raising his brows.

James just stared at him.

Sirius seemed much too chipper and helpful. Yes, he was definitely going to make him pay later.

_He’s going to murder me._

“Sure.”

“And can I get anything for you, love?” Sirius asked Susan with an overly-large, strained smile.

James could practically see his canines. His heart sped up. 

“Oh, um, sure I’ll take a hot chocolate as well,” she said, sitting down next to James.

_Much too close._

James only caught a glimpse of the raging fire in Sirius’ eyes just before he turned away, but it was enough.

_Yep, I’m dead._

“So when will you be back at the bakery?” Susan asked, turning towards him and bumping their knees together.

“Uh, Monday I think,” he said slowly, not sure how much information to give her.

She scooted a little closer and he tried to scoot away.

Sirius re-appeared, his hands full of drinks and biscuits, still smiling, but James could tell he was actually _seething_ under the surface. He’d seen it a million times before.

They sipped their hot chocolate in awkward silence until Alexander accidentally spilt his all down his jumper and Sirius had to take him off and get some napkins.

Isabella stood in front of James and Susan, pursing her lips and narrowing her blue eyes.

“Is she your girlfriend?”

“What? No!” he blurted out.

“Oh, I thought maybe you were on a date.”

“No.” he said emphatically.

Susan just grinned at him and scooted closer.

Sirius returned, eyeing their proximity and raised a black brow.

James gulped and pulled his beanie down over his ears, staring at the ground and praying for deliverance. 

“Well, are we done for the night?” Sirius asked the group.

“It’s cold,” Alexander said with chattering teeth.

“I’ll take that as a ‘yes’,” Sirius chuckled, patting him on the head.

“But what about couples skate?” Susan asked pouting.

Sirius just raised his eyebrows even higher and looked at James.

“Uh, we’ve got a curfew and need to get them home for bed. Sorry.”

“Okay, well I’ll see you on Monday, then?”

“Alright,” he replied, smiling tightly.

Susan skated back to her friends on the other side of the rink, her blonde hair swaying behind her like some kind of Veela. 

“Are you sure you don’t want to stay for _couples_ skate?” Sirius asked him, his blue eyes dark and dancing.

“Yes,” James hissed as he finished unlacing his skates.

“Well, I think _she_ wanted to couples skate,” Isabella said, gesturing towards Susan. “Are you _sure_ you two aren’t a couple?”

“No!” he barked a little too loudly. “Sorry, I mean, _no_ ,” he said more softly. “She just works at the bakery.”

Isabella rolled her eyes and huffed.

“Alright, I think it’s time to head home, maybe you two will be in a sugar coma by the time we get there,” James said.

“What’s a _sugar coma_?” Alexander asked, tugging on Sirius’ jacket.

“I’ll explain it to you on the way home.”

When they got back to the house the kids were thankfully too worn out to drive them crazy and Geneva put them straight to bed.

James and Sirius went up to their room and locked the door, which was clearly _essential_ at this point, and James sulkily unwound his scarf, waiting for his inevitable punishment, when Sirius walked over to him and reached out his hand, starting to unbutton his coat for him.

“You don’t have to do that.”

“Hey, _I’m_ the one that should be mad at _you_ ,” Sirius muttered.

“You mean, you _aren’t_?” James asked, looking up at him, his eyes lighting up.

“No. I mean, I was at first…but _it is what it is_ ,” he said with a shrug. “You were right when you said we were gonna have to learn how to deal with situations like this. You’re just gonna have to get bolder with turning girls down.”

“But I never know what to say—" Sirius pressed his finger to his lips and stopped him. “You’re just too _nice_ , love, and they take it the wrong way. It’s not your fault. They’d be crazy _not_ to want you,” he said, stroking his fingers back through his hair.

”I thought you’d be furious and want retribution,” James breathed, utterly mystified. Every time he thought he had Sirius figured out, he wound up surprising him.

“Well, if you call me asking you to _go down on me_ retribution, then yeah, I guess I want it,” Sirius said with a shrug.

James inhaled sharply, his eyes going wide, “You can’t say things like that and not expect me to get hard.”

“Exactly,” Sirius purred.

James threw his arms around him and kissed him savagely, until Sirius broke away, gasping for air. “That’s a good start, love.”

“Oh, and don’t call anyone else ‘love’ but _me_ ,” James frowned, suddenly remembering Sirius using the term with Susan.

“Okay, _love_ , I can do that.”

“Now, let’s get you taken care of…and as _quietly_ as possible,” he whispered, bending down and hoisting Sirius up and over his shoulder like a sack of potatoes.

Retribution was sweet.

Dragging Sirius’ jeans down his clenched thighs as he squirmed on the bed, his chest heaving and red…nipping at him repeatedly through his briefs until he let out a string of garbled curses…and generally torturing him with greedy fingers and an incessant tongue… 

It was all a price James was more than willing to pay. 

***

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *Writhes on the floor*🔥😍🔥


	15. Just a Dollop

***

~S~

James and Sirius spent most of the next day in the village, alone, doing some last minute Christmas shopping.

“I don’t know what to get for your mum,” Sirius sighed as they browsed an antique shop.

“She’d like anything you gave her,” James replied, holding up a carrot peeler and grinning.

“Yeah, but don’t you think she’d prefer something more special?”

“You know how bat-shit crazy she goes over Muggle gadgets, just like Pop…So you can’t go wrong with that.” James shook the carrot peeler in his face again, still grinning stupidly.

“I am _not_ gonna get your mum a bloody carrot peeler when she can slice and dice them with just the flick of her wand!” Sirius hissed. “It just doesn’t make sense.”

“How many times do I have to _tell_ you? They’re both _mental_ and enjoy doing things the Muggle way…even if it takes _twice_ the time.”

“Oh all right, give it here,” he huffed, snatching it out of his hand and pursing his lips. “I’ll get her this and that bloody Muggle cookbook from up front.”

James reached out and clasped onto his wrist with both hands, tugging on it whilst simultaneously biting down on his bottom lip; his green eyes dark and hungry. 

Sirius narrowed his eyes at him, feeling a surge of heat sweep through his body.

“Don’t look at me like that, Prongs. It really makes me wanna do bad things.”

James grinned, his cheeks flushing. “Really? Like what sorts of bad things?”

“ _Filthy things_ ,” Sirius leaned in and whispered by his ear.

James inhaled sharply, “Well, maybe you can prove it to me later.”

“That sounds like a plan,” Sirius purred, giving him a wink.

James’ mouth fell open slightly and then he closed it and swallowed hard.

“Alright, now is there anything else we need to pick up? Anything for _me_ perhaps?” Sirius asked, raising his eyebrows and tapping a finger to his lips.

“Hey, I’ve already got your gift,” James said, shoving against his shoulder as they continued walking.

“Okay, okay just checking.”

“What about you? No last minute things to get?”

“Nope, it’s all taken care of,” Sirius replied, grinning mischievously.

“Alright, well it looks like you’re on top of things… _this_ year…”

“Hey, it was just that _one_ year, and I swear to god—I didn’t forget! I just accidentally left it back at the castle!”

“Right,” James said, shaking his head.

***

~J~

When they returned home they were promptly greeted by a very frazzled looking Mr. Potter; his hair even more disheveled than usual and his horn-rimmed glasses askew. He was desperate for a volunteer to try out his new hair cream.

James wasn’t exactly _eager_ to be experimented on and looked down at the ground, trying to think of a good excuse, when Sirius spoke up.

“I’ll go first,” he said.

James whipped his head up.

“Really?”

“Yeah, why not?”

James just stared at him, suddenly remembering Sirius’ _thing_ about his hair.

“No really, you don’t have to. _I’ll_ go.”

“It’ll be fine,” Sirius said with a shrug.

James narrowed his eyes, wondering who this calm and collected person was and where in the hell Sirius-I-will- _kill_ -you-if-you-touch-my-hair-Black went.

“He’s in good hands!” Mr. Potter said, squeezing Sirius’ shoulder and directing him out into the garden.

James just watched them go in awe.

_He's just always surprising me…_

***

~S~

Sirius was squirming on the inside.

He loathed for people to touch his hair ever since his mother had ruthlessly chopped it all off in Third year. He was highly sensitive about it and would go into a full on strop if anyone dared touch it. Protecting it was one thing he _could_ control…as daft as that seemed.

But secretly, _desperately_ , there was always one person he wanted to have the privilege.

_James._

The thought of him running his fingers through his hair, caressing it, stroking it, was almost more than he could stand. But unfortunately, James seemed to treat it as if it were _hexed_. Clearly, he still thought it was off limits. And so when Mr. Potter asked for a volunteer, Sirius said _yes_ , because in some strange way, he thought it might get him one step closer to what he really wanted…

“Alright, just have a seat here,” Mr. Potter said, whacking him on the back and pulling him from his thoughts.

Sirius blinked and looked down. Fleamont had pulled out a wooden stool and was patting it with his hand.

“Now, I’ve been working on perfecting this cream, as I’ve said, but I need to try it out on as many different hair types as possible…just to make sure it still produces the same effect,” Mr. Potter rambled, straightening his glasses. “It’s perfectly safe, I assure you. I’m just going to dab some on your hair and rub it in a bit. Your hair is quite fine and fairly straight, so the effect will be minimal. I created this balm for people with _really_ unmanageable hair in mind.”

“Sounds good…” Sirius replied, sitting down on the stool. “Just as long as it doesn’t leave me _bald_ …”

Mr. Potter abruptly slapped a handful of goop on top of his head, making him flinch and nearly fly off the chair.

“Oh, sorry!—should have given you a proper warning. This stuff is so lively it nearly jumps out of the can!” he chuckled.

“That’s nice,” Sirius muttered, wincing at the horrible, slimy feeling of cold goo being rubbed into his scalp. At least it didn’t smell as horrid as it felt.

“Yes, yes, looks about right,” Mr. Potter muttered as he continued to spread it all over Sirius’ head. He then wiped his hands on a tea towel and started scribbling down notes on a small tablet. He grabbed a mirror off the table and handed it to him. “Have a look, my boy, I think it looks quite dashing if I do say so myself!”

Sirius took the mirror, scared to death of what he’d see, and held it up to his face. “Hmm it does look quite… _different_ ….but it’s nice. Makes me look a bit older and like I’m about to go ballroom dancing or something.” He continued to turn his head from side to side, truly surprised by the change. There was certainly an over-abundance of goop, but it did have a rather striking affect and he wondered what James would think.

_Or maybe I just look like a drowned rat…_

“Yes, it does indeed! I bet if you used this back at school all the ladies would certainly take notice,” Mr. Potter said with a sly wink. 

Sirius swallowed hard, trying his best not to scowl. “Yes, well it seems like a rather handy product. I bet it would really work well on people with more _unruly_ hair…like Prong—I mean, _James_.”

“Oh, yes, I can’t wait to get my hands on his hair! Especially now that it’s longer…” Fleamont muttered, continuing to scribble away on his tablet. “Well, that’s all I needed from you! Here,” he said, handing him a small, tin container, “This one’s for you, and remember, it doesn’t take much! Just a dollop will do it!”

“Oh, brilliant. Thanks! So...erm, what’s the best way to _remove_ it from your hair?”

“You can wash it out like normal…Though, it does take a good strong shampoo to do the job, and it may take several washes.”

“Okay, sounds good…Well, thanks!” he said, starting to leave.

“Oh, and send James in when you see him!”

“Will do!”

Sirius walked outside, deep in thought.

An idea had just occurred to him...

What if James actually fancied his hair all done up in this way? What if he’d be more willing to _touch_ it? Maybe in some daft way it would at least break the ice.

So he decided to surprise him with his new sleek look on Christmas Eve, and in order to keep the secret, he went straight to the downstairs bathroom and washed his hair out two times in the sink using some shampoo he found in the shower. After towel drying it, and trying to contain his giddiness, he sprinted upstairs. 

And when he walked through the door he found James, lounging on the bed reading a Quidditch magazine, his ankles casually crossed, looking as irresistible as ever. 

James lowered the magazine just below his eyes and peered up at him. “Looks the same to me.”

Sirius walked over to him, smirking. “That’s because I washed it out, love.” He plopped down on the bed making it bounce.

James smiled back. “But there weren’t any dodgy side effects? No burning or anything?”

“Nope. And _you’re_ next!” he grinned, patting his leg several times.

“Great,” James sighed as he rolled off the bed. He started to walk towards the door, but then stopped and turned back round again, walking over to Sirius and bending down so their faces were just a few inches apart. “And by the way, I like you _wet_ ,” he whispered, swiping a water droplet off of his cheek with his fingertip.

Sirius automatically closed his eyes and started to smile, and was completely surprised when he felt James’ soft, familiar lips pressing against his own. He sighed contentedly and wrapped his hands gently around his throat, holding him there, hungry for more.

“Gotta stop,” James muttered against his mouth before pulling away. “Can’t be _excited_ around my pop…”

Sirius just smiled crookedly and gazed up at him with a dreamy expression.

“And don’t look at me like that…” James said, clasping hold of his chin. 

“Well, hurry up and go so you can get back here! I’ll just be lying here,” Sirius said, scooting up against the pillows and tucking both hands behind his head, “thinking about _filthy_ things.”

James grinned, his emerald eyes lighting up, and then bolted for the door.

***

~S~

Sirius was awoken by the feel of warm lips pressing against his own and fingers gently stroking his face.

He fluttered his eyes open and looked up. “Hey,” he rasped.

“Hey, babe,” James grinned, his hair dripping wet and wild.

A thrill went up Sirius’ spine.

_So it’s “babe” now, huh?_

“How’d it go?”

“Good. Already washed it all out. That stuff was as thick as mum’s toffee pudding.”

Sirius smirked. “Guess I dozed off...”

James sighed and leaned forward, nearly draping himself on top of him and nuzzling his face in the crook of his neck. “You smell so good…I just wanna live right here…” he murmured.

“What? In the crook of my neck?” Sirius chuckled, wrapping his arms around his back.

“Yesss,” James hissed, tickling his skin with his hot breath.

Sirius snickered and squirmed underneath him, unable to contain his goofy grin.

And then James started fervently sucking at his neck, tortuously dragging his teeth against the sensitive skin. “God…” Sirius panted, tangling his fingers into his wet hair as everything went very hazy. James hummed and continued his ministrations like his life depended on it.

Thank _god_ it was turtle neck season.

Sirius grunted and slid his hands up under the front of James’ jumper, caressing his flexed abs and back, running his fingers in all the once forbidden grooves and valleys. They belonged to _him_ now.

“James!” Mrs. Potter called from outside the door.

They both flinched and James nearly fell off the bed; he quickly stood up and smoothed down his jumper.

“Yeah?” he yelled back.

“Don’t forget you have bakery duty tomorrow, honey! But it’s just the half day since it’s Christmas Eve.”

“Okay!”

They could hear her walking back down the stairs.

“Another early morning,” Sirius groaned, rolling over and burying his face in the pillow. 

“Yeah, but thank Merlin it’s only _half a day_ and we shouldn’t have that many more times to work there before we go back to school.”

“Argh, don’t remind me about _school_ ,” Sirius muttered, curling into a ball.

“You know what I’m gonna miss most?” James asked, plopping back down on the bed next to him.

“Hmm?”

“Sleeping with you…” he said quietly, resting his hand on top of Sirius’ thigh and squeezing.

Sirius opened his eyes and looked up at him, surprised to find James’ eyes rather glassy.

“I’m gonna miss that too, love. I don’t wanna ever sleep without you again,” he said, feeling his throat constrict.

A pained expression crossed James’ face, and then he took his hand and held it tight, lacing their fingers together determinedly. “Well, maybe if we explained to Remus and Peter what’s going on…what’s happened between us…They’d understand and we could still share a bed.”

And James looked so bloody hopeful and so desperate, that Sirius just didn’t have the heart to say what he truly thought…That he wasn’t so sure their friends would be quite as accommodating, or as _accepting_ , of their relationship as James hoped. “Maybe,” he replied, feeling a sharp pain in his chest. “But like I said…We should probably _feel out_ the situation first before making any declarations. I don’t wanna make them uncomfortable.”

“Yeah…I guess,” James muttered, now looking completely forlorn.

“C’mere, love,” Sirius said, scooting sideways on the bed and padding the spot in front of him. “You can be the lil’ spoon for a change.” James grinned and lay down in front of him and Sirius wrapped his arms around his waist and pulled him close, holding all of him as best he could.

James turned his face into the pillow they shared and inhaled deeply. “But how am I gonna get my pillow to smell like you if we don’t sleep together?”

“Hmm, I have an idea,” Sirius said, gently stroking his hair back from his face and putting his mouth by his ear, “We can swap pillows every day. That way they’ll always smell like each other.”

“Mmm, I like that,” James sighed, laying his hand atop Sirius’ that was wrapped around his waist. “I wish we could make this permanent somehow…”

“Like what do you mean?”

“Oh I dunno…Like something only we know about. A secret symbol for our love.”

Sirius snorted. “Now you’re just getting poetic on me again,” he chuckled, nuzzling his face in the back of James’ soft curls and practically dying.

James squeezed his hand and Sirius could tell he was grinning.

“Like a tattoo maybe?” he asked.

“Hmm…Yeah! Like a _tattoo_ …” James replied, quickly rolling over so they were facing each other, his eyes sparkling. “That’s a brilliant idea, actually!” 

“Wh-what? I was just talking out of my arse…I wasn’t actually _serious_ ,” he choked, his eyes wide.

“You wouldn’t get a tattoo for _me_?” James pouted, a strand of hair falling in his face. Sirius gently stroked it back and slid his fingers down to his chin, running his thumb back and forth over his bottom lip and narrowing his eyes.

“I…” he breathed, “…yes, I would.”

James’ face broke into a massive grin, making the skin crinkle around his eyes.

“Yeah?”

“Yes, I would do that for you…for _us_ ,” he said, scooting closer and playfully throwing his leg over his hip.

James beamed from ear to ear and pulled his face closer to his, first brushing their lips together lightly and then latching on for a slow scorcher, straining towards him and slipping his tongue inside his mouth. “I really think we should…do it,” he breathed between fiery kisses.

“Hmm?” Sirius noised, running his fingers through his damp hair, desperately wishing James would do the same to his.

“The tattoos.”

Sirius pulled back slightly. “What would we even get and how would we do it?”

“Hmm, I’m not sure…something that means something, obviously. Something symbolic,” James murmured, continuing to plant little kisses all over Sirius’ face.

_How does he expect me to think properly when he’s doing that?!_

“Would we do it the wizard’s way or the Muggle’s?”

James jerked up, making the bed shake. “I have an idea! What if we got it done in Diagon Alley? Isn’t there a wizard’s tattoo place? We’re not of age yet in the Muggle world anyway…”

“True. Yeah, let’s look into it. But first we need to figure out what we’d get...”

“Right,” James said, biting on his bottom lip, completely lost in thought.

_Those goddamn lips!_

Sirius gripped a handful of his jumper and pulled him back down again, straining for his mouth like he was starving. James grunted slightly out of surprise and lay back on top of him, pressing his hands into the bed and kissing him senseless.

Sirius stroked his jaw and writhed underneath him. “You’re getting a bit scruffy, mate,” he breathed.

“We _both_ are,” James chuckled, scratching his fingers against Sirius’ jaw. “But I think it’s sexy.”

“Me too,” Sirius whispered, tracing the outline of James’ lips with his fingertips. “Surprised your mum let us get this _wild_.”

“Yeah, well I don’t think her tolerance will last much longer. She’ll want us to be in “tip-top-shape!” for the Christmas pictures tomorrow, I’m sure.”

“Oh, right…”

Something rapped on the window pane and they both flinched and looked up.

It was Onyx and Archimedes, each with a letter clamped in their beaks.

James quickly jumped up and opened the window, standing back.

The birds flew inside, dropping the letters onto the floor, and then perched atop their respective cages on the desk, both screeching for a treat.

“Must be from Remus and Peter,” James muttered, picking up the letters. He opened his drawer and tossed each bird a small biscuit.

“Oh, yeah I wrote to Remus and told him we hadn’t _killed_ each other yet and not to get his knickers in a twist,” Sirius chuckled, sitting up and leaning against the headboard.

James sat down facing him and opened the one from Peter. “It just says, ‘Happy Christmas’…and something about his rat learning a new trick. _I swear_ ,” he groaned, rolling his eyes and handing Sirius the other letter.

“Remus says, ‘Happy Christmas’ as well…and that he’s glad we’ve worked out our ‘issues’ and he looks forward to seeing us back at school. And also that: _‘It’s not nearly as much fun turning into a werewolf without you lot because my parents still insist on locking me in the bloody basement and throwing Pumpkin Pasties through the crack,’”_ Sirius read, starting to laugh as he passed the letter to James. 

“Bloody hell, yeah that does sound _awful,_ ” James sighed. “I do miss changing, but I suppose we’ll just have to wait until we get back to school. It wouldn’t be safe for mum and dad to know about it, and I’d be too afraid some nosey Muggle neighbor would spot us…or worse—try and _shoot_ us.”

“Yeah, true. A stag and a mangy black dog strolling down Main Street together would tend to _draw the eye_ ,” Sirius said with a smug grin.

“I think we’d tend to _draw the eye_ , regardless,” James smirked, leaning forward and lightly kissing the corner of his mouth.

But Sirius was far from done.

He clasped James’ face firmly between his palms and tugged him down again, the letters quickly forgotten and fluttering to the floor.

***

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 🔥💌🦉🔥


	16. This is Different

***

~S~

They managed to get to the bakery on time the next morning and Sirius growled under his breath when the infamous _Susan Smith_ walked through the door. James squeezed his hand behind the counter and smiled politely at her. She flipped her long, glistening blonde hair over her shoulder like a toffee-nosed Veela, and beamed up at James, batting her blackened lashes.

Sirius was only able to remain calm thanks to James’ continuous reassuring touches and pointed glances. Susan, as always, only had eyes for James and tried to keep his attention with pointless tittle-tattle whilst they filled the glass display case with fresh baked goods.

Sirius was about one second away from going bat-shit crazy and throwing a handful of pastries in her face, when the Christmas Eve rush hit and they were all too busy to chat.

James promptly ushered Susan to the back with Mrs. Franklin, and Sirius couldn’t help but grin smugly. 

~~~

“Well, I’m glad that’s done,” Sirius sighed, pulling his grey beanie down snugly over his ears as they walked back to the car.

“Me, too,” James replied, carrying a white box of leftover pastries in one arm and unlocking the car door with the other.

“Thank _god_ we were too busy for that twit to hog all your attention,” Sirius muttered as he climbed into the passenger’s seat.

“Yeah, well I think she’s _finally_ getting the idea that I’m _not_ interested...But did you see her grab my hand that one time?” he asked incredulously.

“Yes. That’s the reason we’re taking home so many _broken_ scones,” Sirius said bitterly.

James turned to look at him, a ridiculous grin spreading up his face. “Aw, baby…” he teased, poking him in the side with his finger.

Sirius squirmed, trying to keep a straight face. “Well, I needed _something_ to squeeze, and since your cock was unavailable, the scones had to suffice,” he said with a sniff, looking out the window. 

“Stop your sweet talk, I’m getting hard,” James crooned, before doubling over with laughter and almost whacking his head on the steering wheel.

“Wanker,” Sirius muttered.

***

~J~

When they got home they found Euphemia bustling around the kitchen, preparing their Christmas dinner with her wand in one hand and a tattered Muggle cookbook in the other.

“Did pop make it back from the station yet?” James asked, walking over to the counter and eyeing a mouth-watering Christmas cake.

“He should be back soon!” his mum replied. “I know your cousins certainly enjoyed spending so much time with the two of you! It’s all they could talk about this morning.”

“They about wore us out,” James sighed, grateful to have more peace and quiet and more importantly, _alone time_ with Sirius. Though he did have to admit, watching Sirius interact with his young cousins was thoroughly entertaining. 

He raised his finger to swipe some white frosting off the cake.

“No you don’t!” Euphemia screeched, flying towards him.

“But mum, shouldn’t we at least _taste_ it just to make sure it’s good?” He grinned mischievously and acted as if he were about to take another swipe off the top; he could practically taste the dried fruit and brandy—his mother always was a bit heavy handed with the liquor.

“No, sir. You’ll eat the lot of it! You’ll just have to wait until tonight.”

He huffed and walked to the window, surveying the back garden. “Looks like it might snow,” he said, peering up at the overcast, grey sky. “Hey, we should kick the football around!” he exclaimed, spinning around to look at Sirius.

“Sure,” Sirius shrugged, “that is if you don’t mind getting your arse whipped by someone half your size.”

James smirked and sauntered over to him, leaning down by his ear, “Oh, I think being _whipped_ by you sounds like loads of fun.”

Sirius’ eyes widened to the size of dinner plates; he gulped and glanced pointedly at the kitchen, where is mum was busy flipping through her cookbook, her wand now clenched between her teeth.

James loved to watch him squirm.

“I’ll get the ball,” he said grinning.

~~~

They played outside for a few hours until Sirius was thoroughly knackered and James’ sides ached from laughing so hard.

Sirius had always been the better footie player—quick and agile, but James loved to give him a hard time of it. He told him he was simply better because he was so close to the ground, and therefore, _closer to the ball_. To which Sirius turned beet red and chased him around the garden with his fists flying.

Finally, covered in a cold sweat and numb to the bone, they called it quits.

***

~S~

Sirius sat down on the bench and groaned, feeling like he’d just been run over by a stampede of hippogriffs. It always took everything he had to beat James.

_If he only knew..._

James pulled his knit hat off, his dark hair plastered to his head, and collapsed on the bench beside him, steam billowing out of his mouth as he panted for air. “Bloody hell, I feel out of shape.”

“Maybe that’s because I whipped your arse,” Sirius said smirking triumphantly and leaning back.

“I think you’re better with your feet than you are with your hands,” James said grinning.

“Excuse me?!” he hissed, shoving against his shoulder with an incredulous expression.

“No, no I meant on the _field_ , not in _bed_ , you cocknose!”

Sirius started laughing, his eyes crinkling as he clutched his side. “Yeah, well if Hogwarts offered footie, I just might choose that over Quidditch.”

James gasped exaggeratedly, “You wouldn’t dare! And leave _me_?” he hissed, grabbing Sirius’ thigh; his large hand nearly wrapping all the way around it.

Sirius jolted and started grinning. “Okay, okay. I wouldn’t leave you, Prongs. Not even for _footie_.”

James’ eyes sparkled as he removed his hand and tucked it into the front pocket of his sweatshirt, “Good,” he said smugly.

Sirius tilted his head back and gazed up at the sky, “Hey…it’s snowing.”

“So it is,” James murmured, sticking out his tongue and trying to eat a snowflake. 

Sirius took one look at his wide open mouth and shivered.

“Cold?”

“I think I’m way past that,” he said, licking his lips.

James stared at him, narrowing his eyes to his mouth. “Let’s go get warmed up in the shower.”

“Okay, but no _funny business_.”

“And just why the hell not?”

“Because it’s _Christmas Eve_ and I have a surprise for you,” Sirius sniffed. “So I’ll be using the guest bathroom to get ready.”

“Well, that’s no fair! I wanna see you _naked_!” James whined, his dark brows practically touching as he frowned.

“Jesus Christ!” Sirius hissed, wide-eyed and red-faced, his eyes darting around frantically, "Keep it _down_ , mate. You will…but _later_.”

James pursed his lips in annoyance. “Okay, but just so you know, I don’t like showering alone anymore…”

Sirius just stared at him.

_Never thought James Potter would tell me that…but okay._

“Me either,” he replied. “But just for tonight, _please_?”

“Alright,” James said grumpily.

“Boys!” Euphemia called. “Time to shower up! Supper will be ready in an hour and I want to take our annual Christmas picture—so make sure to look your best! And that means _shaving_!”

“Yes, mum!” James hollered and rolled his eyes. “What did I tell you? Well, we tried,” he sighed. “At least we can say we _almost_ had beards.”

Sirius laughed heartily and shook his head, “Yeah, well I think it might be a few more years before we have _proper_ beards.” He rubbed the back of his hand over James’ slightly prickly jaw. “But I am going to miss your scruff.” 

“And I’m gonna miss _yours_ ,” James sighed wistfully, “especially when it’s between my legs…”

Sirius sputtered, nearly choking on air.

~~~

They went up to their room and Sirius quickly gathered his things (much to the displeasure of James) and went across the hall to the guest bathroom.

His stomach was full of butterflies at the thought of James seeing him all dressed up and with sleek hair. He hoped he’d like it and not think it looked completely ridiculous. He was starting to second guess his decision as he was shaving, but then pulled out the little tin can Mr. Potter had given him, and gained more courage. He could always wash it out if he didn’t feel comfortable.

His hair was shaggy (he preferred to cut it himself) nearly dusting the tops of his shoulders, and he suddenly wondered if he shouldn’t have gotten it professionally cut. _It’s too late now,_ he thought, combing through it and brushing it back. He took a dollop of the hair balm and carefully slicked it over the top, fiddling with it for what felt like an eternity.

Finally, after getting it just how he wanted—parted to the side with a small poof on top and slightly slicked back on the sides, he exhaled deeply.

The cream had the effect of making his hair look wet, yet more voluminous and defined than normal. Clearly, there was some kind of _magic_ in it.

He licked his lips anxiously and stared at his reflection.

_God, I hope he fancies this or I’m gonna feel like such a tosser…_

He slid his khaki slacks on over his white briefs, which he’d worn especially for James. _“God, you’re like an angel in these things,”_ he’d remembered James saying as he’d all but devoured him with his eyes. Sirius' lips twitched up into a grin just thinking about it. He zipped up his fly and then pulled on a white under shirt and tucked it in, then grabbed his very starched (thanks to Mrs. Potter) blue-striped dress shirt, and with shaking hands, buttoned it up.

_You can do this...you can do this..._

After clasping his black belt around his waist, he gripped onto the cool porcelain sink with both hands and tried to breathe. Why was he so _nervous_? It’s not like James hadn’t seen him dressed up before…But this was different somehow.

_Merlin, this is different._

He wished it were just the two of them in the house, because that would certainly make it all the less awkward.

He looked in the mirror at himself and turned around, eyeing his arse and wondering if James would think the trousers accentuated his _best asset_. His face grew hot.

After brushing his teeth and taking one last look, he pressed his hair in place with sweaty palms and exhaled.

“Here goes,” he muttered, feeling like he was about to go on his very first date.

When he walked into the hall he noticed James’ door was ajar, so he poked his head inside, looking around, but found it deserted.

“Bugger,” he sighed.

He’d at least wanted James to see him first whilst they were _alone_. Now, he'd have to walk down the stairs like bloody Cinderella, with everyone gawking at him.

_Brilliant._

He took a deep breath and slowly started walking down the stairs, his heart about to pound out of his chest and his palms distractingly moist. He could hear voices close by, telling him that everyone must already be gathered in the living room.

And when he came around the corner he froze, his jaw hitting the floor.

It was James....standing by the Christmas tree.

_Holy fucking hell._

He was wearing fitted black slacks, shiny black shoes, and an emerald green button down that fit snugly across his broad chest, and most thrillingly of all, his normally unruly hair was parted neatly to the side, with a slight poof on top—just like Sirius’—the loose, brown curls painfully tempting and gorgeous. Sirius flexed his fingers at his sides, just imagining digging them into his hair. 

James’ head snapped up and their eyes locked.

And for one dizzying moment Sirius thought he was dead…or falling…or that time had completely stopped.

Maybe all three.

If he hadn’t gripped onto the back of the sofa, he might have literally fainted.

They continued to stare at each other; James’ rosy lips slightly parted and his eyebrows scrunched tight, causing a deep V to form between them.

Sirius knew that look.

Oh, how he knew that look!

Whilst other people might have thought James was cross, Sirius knew better. James was experiencing so much angst that he was literally in _pain_. His cock was probably twitching anxiously in his pants right at that very moment, begging for attention, and Sirius started to feel hard just thinking about it, a shot of heat going straight to his groin and making him dizzy.

He cleared his throat and licked his lips, and then briefly ran his hand over his fly, just to make sure he wasn’t actually bulging out of his pants, and when he did, he caught James’ eyes following the path of his hand; they widened slightly, his nostrils flaring, and then he promptly turned towards the tree and began fiddling with an ornament, like it was the most important thing in the world at that very moment.

Sirius' heart raced uncontrollably. 

_Holy shit, holy shit, holy SHIT!_

Mr. and Mrs. Potter were sitting on the sofa, looking through an old album, when Euphemia turned around and finally noticed him standing there like a tosser.

“Sirius! You look so handsome! My, my!” she exclaimed clasping her hands together with glee.

Mr. Potter turned around and peered at him over the tops of his spectacles.

“You’ve used the hair cream, my boy!” he said, jumping up and rushing towards him.

“Uh, yeah…” Sirius breathed, as he kept flicking his eyes to James, who was still refusing to turn back around.

Mr. Potter lightly touched his hair with his fingertips, “Seems to be working perfectly!”

“Don’t muss up his hair, dear! I’m sure he worked quite hard on it.”

Sirius blushed crimson all the way to the tips of his ears; he literally wanted to crawl under a rock and _die_. If they only knew just how _long_ he’d worked on it. And now he felt like some kind of posh, show pony, being paraded around and ogled. 

“James!” Mr. Potter bellowed, “Let me see you both, side by side!”

James turned towards them, his nostrils still flaring and his brows still furrowed, but now there was a new addition to the set—he was chewing on his bottom lip like a starving man.

_Mother of god!_

Sirius swallowed hard and glanced up at the ceiling, rocking back on his heels and praying for deliverance.

***

~J~

James went and stood by Sirius, their arms barely an inch away. He could literally feel the heat radiating off of him and it was almost more than he could bear. He felt drunk on his mere presence.

_Keep it together…keep it together…keep it TOGETHER._

Mr. Potter circled around them, continuing to observe their hair like Professor McGonagall had once observed James’ badly transfigured teacup, poking and prodding, and then he whipped out his little tablet to scribble something down.

“Fleamont! No working on Christmas Eve!” Euphemia scolded. “Now, why don’t we go ahead and take our annual holiday picture before you two muss up your outfits?”

James still hadn’t uttered a word. His throat felt so dry he didn’t think he’d be able to even if he tried. His main objective was to breathe…

Breathe and think about _anything_ but the way Sirius looked.

_Don’t think about Sirius…don’t think about Sirius…don’t think about his hair…don’t think about how the color of his shirt matches his eyes…don’t think about his EYES! Don’t think about the way his trousers hug his arse…don’t you DARE think about his arse and definitely don’t think about his mouth…Oh for fuckssake!_

Euphemia scrunched them together in front of the tree with James and Sirius standing side by side in the middle, and then she flicked her wand and her magical camera started flashing as it hovered above them in the air. “Smile everyone!” she said with her teeth clenched. But the camera kept flashing left and right and doing exactly as it pleased. “Now, stop that!” she scolded, shaking her wand at it. Suddenly, the camera started to zoom around the room, spewing Polaroids out all over the floor. “Come here you BLASTED thing!”

James started laughing and glanced sideways at Sirius, whose eyes were huge, and then he started laughing, too, and they both doubled over as his mum continued chasing the possessed camera, trying to swat it from the air with her hands.

“Bloody hell! What’s _wrong_ with that thing?” he choked out, clutching his sides.

“Your mother had me bewitch a Muggle camera and it appears to have turned against her,” his pop said, an incredulous expression on his face as he watched the object fly around the room.

“STUPEFY!” Euphemia yelled, and the camera froze mid-air just as another stream of pictures shot out from the bottom. She whacked it with her wand and it promptly fell into her arms, and with a huff, she thrust it into a tin can of caramel popcorn, snapping the lid shut.

“Well, if you all can stop _laughing_ for a moment, maybe you can help me gather all these blasted pictures!” she hissed. “Surely, there’s at least _one_ decent one in the lot.”

James and Sirius bent down and silently started picking them up, careful not to touch each other or get too close.

At least all the laughing had cut the tension.

***

~S~

Mrs. Potter had prepared a feast for them with all the trimmings: savory kale, chestnut, and mushroom pie with a crispy, golden pastry; boiled potatoes, buttered peas, and fresh-baked rolls.

James and Sirius sat across the table from each other, both trying their damnedest not to grin like fools. Sirius felt practically sloshed. 

“More potatoes?” Euphemia asked, passing the bowl to James. “Uh, sure,” he replied, slowly scooping another helping onto his plate and flicking his eyes up to Sirius.

Sirius quickly averted his eyes to the table. How James made literally everything _so bloody hot_ , he’d never know, but just watching him scoop _boiled potatoes,_ with his large hands and glorious fingers _,_ was making his temperature rise.

“You two are awfully quiet,” Mrs. Potter remarked. “Up to no good?” she asked, cocking a brow.

“No, mum,” James replied, taking a bite of his pie, “Jus’ tired from a long day.”

Sirius narrowed his eyes, watching James’ mouth; he could tell he was desperately trying to suppress a grin.

“Yes, I’m sure the bakery was tiring what with the Christmas rush and all…Was Susan there?”

James appeared to choke on his food for a moment and then closed his eyes tight, forcing it down as his Adam’s apple bobbed furiously up and down.

“Yes.”

“And? She’s a pretty girl! Though, I’m sure you’ve noticed…”

“She’s alright,” he replied, stuffing a fork-full of buttered pees into his mouth.

Sirius tried not to laugh.

“Just alright? With that _beautiful_ , long blonde hair?”

“I prefer shorter hair,” James snapped, his mouth still full and his jaw working in over drive.

Sirius looked up at him in surprise.

James winked and then swallowed.

“Since when? Doesn’t that Lily Evans you were always prattling on about have long red hair?”

James’ eyes went dark and he stiffened slightly. Sirius noticed his knuckles turning white as he gripped his fork.

“Are you still mooning over her or have you moved on?” Euphemia chided with twinkling eyes.

James slowly wiped his mouth with a napkin and then stared pointedly at Sirius, “Oh, I’ve moved on,” he said, never blinking, “realized it was a lost cause…and that there are much _better_ things out there.”

Sirius gulped and tried to refrain from panting. He suddenly felt like James was ravishing him with his eyes…at the dinner table…in front of his _parents_.

James lazily looked back down at his plate, darting his red tongue out and licking the corner of his mouth, like some kind of smug lothario.

Sirius gaped at him for a moment, mesmerized, and then finally had to look away.

“Well, it’s about time you moved on! There are plenty of fish in the sea!” Mr. Potter chimed in, raising his glass of Port in salute.

James looked back up and smirked at Sirius. His cheekbones were rosy and his eyes glassy and it was all Sirius could do to not lunge across the bloody table and attack him right then and there, rip his clothes off like a wild animal and…and…

Instead, he kept nibbling on his boiled potato as if it were the last piece of food on earth...

***

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *Dies from angst overload* 🔥🔥🔥😂


	17. Have a Quiet One

***

~J~

James barely made it through dinner without losing it.

Sirius…looking like _that_ …was simply too much. It was practically _obscene_.

He was so relieved when they all finished their Christmas cake and headed to the living room to open gifts. It was tradition in the Potter house to open their presents on Christmas Eve, and then the next day, sleep in, have a huge breakfast and gather round the telly to watch some football.

He passed out the gifts and then settled down on the floor next to Sirius in front of the fire, glancing at him sideways and grinning as he picked at the wrapping on the red metallic package in his lap.

“Alright, let’s dig in!” his mum said, ripping into a large golden box.

Sirius started to un-tie the ribbon on the box he was holding, when James flinched. “Wait!”

“Huh?”

“Open that one _last_ ,” he said emphatically, suddenly turning red. It was the most they’d spoken to each other all evening.

“Okay, then you open _this_ one last,” Sirius said nudging the small gift by James’ knee.

They both grinned and then looked away.

Euphemia “Ooed" and "awed” over all of her gifts and actually cried over the carrot peeler and cookbook from Sirius. “Oh, Sirius,” she wailed, “you are the _sweetest_.” She kissed him on the cheek and gave him a hug and James just watched him smugly.

“What did I tell you? he said smugly when Sirius had sat back down. “Works every time.”

“Yeah, yeah you were right…”

He and Sirius were both gifted new broom cleaning kits, scarves, matching pajamas, and generous gift certificates to both Zonkos and Honeydukes. His pop also gave them more tins of his hair cream and some special aftershave he’d invented, saying it would actually prevent hair growth for a week. James grinned when he took a whiff of it, suddenly envisioning himself inhaling it on Sirius’ neck, and then he quickly snapped the lid shut and tried to focus on something less stimulating.

***

~S~

Sirius was overwhelmed by the love the Potter’s had shown him. They’d always accepted him as one of their own without question, and his heart felt fit to burst sometimes with gratitude, and _now_ was definitely one of those times. Sitting there by the fire, surrounded by twinkling lights and wrapping paper, he didn’t think he'd ever been so happy. And on top of all that, there was James. _His_ James. A literal dream come true. He still had a hard time accepting the fact that James wanted him…and in _every way_.

He quickly wiped under his eye, trying to catch the stray tear before it fell and anybody noticed, but of course James _did_. He nudged his foot, and smiled warmly, “Now open that one,” he said, pointing to Sirius’ last gift.

Sirius peered up at him and smiled back, temporarily gobsmacked by his beauty. James’ green eyes were sparkling and his mouth curved up in a sexy smirk that made everything in Sirius go completely weak; his hair was pushed over to the side and tucked behind his ears, and the smell of his cologne and the fit of his posh clothes… _Merlin._ He was simply a feast for the eyes and Sirius suddenly felt very undeserving and overwhelmingly grateful.

He bit his lip and picked up the silver metallic package, shaking it a little and grinning, then he slid his finger under the tape and carefully started to unwrap it. He could literally _feel_ the anticipation rolling off of James’ body. Finally, he peeled the wrapping off and held a small white box in his hand. He carefully pulled the lid off of it, and then glanced up at James one more time, before pulling out the tissue paper.

And then he gasped.

Inside the box was a solid gold pin in the shape of a constellation, each point of light represented by a tiny, sparkling diamond. He tilted it in his hand, utterly dumbfounded, and watched the gems twinkle just like real stars.

“It’s Sirius,” James whispered, leaning towards him.

“Huh?”

“It’s the constellation— _Canis Major_ and _that’s_ Sirius,” he said, pointing to the brightest spark of light shining from the pin. He scooted even closer and whispered in his ear, “Did you know Sirius is actually _two stars_? A binary system. That’s why it’s the brightest star in the sky.” He pointed to the smaller sparkle next to the big one, “That’s _me_ ,” he said, and then pointed to the larger, “and that’s _you_.”

Sirius continued to stare at him with his mouth hanging open, and then, as comprehension fully dawned, his eyes began to fill with water.

“I thought you could pin it to your Quidditch uniform or something…you know, for _luck_ ,” James said, now looking completely embarrassed and averting his eyes whilst wiping his palms nervously down his black slacks. 

Sirius tried to pull words up from his depths, but he simply couldn’t. His heart had just exploded in his chest and was now leaking out of his eyes, for all to see. He swallowed hard and cleared his throat before whispering, “This…this is _amazing_...”

He knew it sounded lame but it was literally all he was capable of getting out. He turned towards James, and without even thinking, threw his arms around his neck and hugged him tight.

And then he could feel two pairs of curious eyes on them.

“Thanks, mate,” he croaked out. “Best gift I ever got.” He squeezed his shoulder tightly and forced himself to pull back, when what he _really_ wanted to do was drag him upstairs and attack him properly…give him the kind of _appreciation_ this level of gift deserved.

He held the pin in his hand and continued smiling down at it, and when he finally looked up, he noticed James, beaming down at him like the sun.

“Now open, yours,” he breathed, not sure if he was dreaming or awake. 

***

~J~

James grinned and quickly picked up the package, wasting no time digging into it.

He tore the lid off the shallow gold box and gasped when he saw what was inside, never in a million years expecting anything like this.

It was a small, square painting of a stag (of _him)_ and it was _moving_. The tan beast snorted and blew steam from its nostrils as tendrils of violet mist curled around its body in the darkness; the stag pawed its hoof on the ground and then reared up, tossing its antlers in the air as the luminous full moon hung suspended behind it. 

“ _Bloody hell_ ,” James breathed. “Did _you_ do this?”

“Yeah,” Sirius replied sheepishly, his face flushing.

“ _You_ painted this?”

“Well, yeah. You know I _dabble_.”

“Yeah, but I’ve never seen anything like _this_! And it’s enchanted, too!”

“Bit of tricky magic there,” Sirius said furrowing his brows.

“I’ll bet!” he exclaimed, his heart racing. He was in complete and utter shock…First of all, that Sirius would give him such a _personal_ gift, because he was never known to be the _mushy_ type, and secondly, that he’d made it _himself_ , and thirdly, that it represented one of their greatest shared secrets.

“It’s absolutely amazing!” he beamed, feeling like his heart could simply burst. He threw his arms around his shoulders and squeezed him tight. “Thank you,” he whispered into his ear. “I love you.”

Sirius stiffened and then pulled back, his face now scarlet.

“Let me see, honey!” Euphemia said holding out her hand. “Oh, Sirius this is _lovely_. I had no idea you were such an artist!"

“I sketch from time to time,” Sirius replied quietly.

“And I see you’ve got James’ pin! You know he’s been working on that ever since you two came home. He had to have it _specially_ made!”

“ _Mum_ ,” James groaned.

“Oh, honey,” don’t be so modest! You put a lot of work into that.”

“Well the gifts aren’t done just yet, lads!” Fleamont said, standing up and pulling out two scarlet envelopes from his back pocket. “Here,” he said, handing one to James and one to Sirius.

They both looked at each other in confusion, and then hastily ripped them open.

“The World Cup?!” James gasped.

“Yes!” his pop beamed.

“What?” Sirius croaked.

“Tickets to the World Cup!” James hollered and threw his arms around him. “We’re going to the World Cup!” he sang, releasing Sirius and jumping up and down. He threw his arms around his dad and hugged him tight. “Thanks, pop this is bloody brilliant!”

Sirius hugged his dad, too, and choked out a “Thank you.”

“Well, it’s not til’ the end of the summer, mind you,” Fleamont said, patting them both on the back. “But it’ll get here before you know it and soon we’ll be yellin’ from the top box for our favorite team!”

“ _Top box_?” James asked incredulously. “Pop, who did you have to _kill_ to get these tickets?”

Fleamont just laughed, shaking his head and squeezing James' shoulder.

“You two will certainly have something to look forward to!” Euphemia said grinning.

“Yeah,” they both replied in unison, smiling at each other.

 _How could this night get any better?_ James wondered. He didn’t think it was possible.

“Were you two gonna stay up and watch some telly?” Euphemia asked as she started picking up the clumps of torn wrapping paper strewn about the room.

James and Sirius both stared at each other for an intense beat, the tension now back and in full swing.

“No, I think we’re just gonna go to bed…have a quiet one,” James said, licking his lips as he stared directly at Sirius, feeling an inferno ignite in his lower belly.

Sirius’ blue eyes smoldered, his lips quirking up slightly, and James nearly lost it right then and there.

After promptly saying their goodnights and gathering their armfuls of gifts, they headed upstairs.

James silently set his things down on the floor by his desk and then turned round and watched Sirius do the same.

He took a deep breath and shut the door and locked it, leaning his back against it whilst chewing on his lip. His heart was literally in his throat.

He stared at Sirius and Sirius stared back, unblinking.

And then, as if a switch had just been flipped, they both rushed towards each other and collided with a thud.

They both started laughing as they clung onto each other.

And then they went very serious.

James swallowed hard and gripped the tops of Sirius’ shoulders, right at the base of his neck, and peered down him, his heart beating out of his chest.

Sirius looked up at him, his blue eyes round and his red lips slightly parted…And _god_ , James had never seen anything more beautiful in all his life. He was suddenly starving to dig his fingers into his hair and kiss him breathless. And then Sirius gripped onto his waist and squeezed, and he suddenly couldn’t wait any longer. He surged towards him and smashed their lips together, causing Sirius to let out a startled grunt and grip his sides with an even greater fervency.

He clumsily backed them towards the bed and pushed Sirius onto it, crawling up his body on all fours.

Sirius gripped onto his hip bones and just lay there, his black hair fanning out around him, looking absolutely breathtaking.

“Your hair…” James croaked. 

“Do you like it?”

He flicked his eyes to Sirius’, taken aback by the worry he found there; the sheer vulnerability.

“It’s beautiful,” he breathed. “Can I touch it?”

Sirius’ eyes widened slightly and he licked his lips. “Always.”

“But I thought…”

“I only ever wanted _you_ to touch it.”

James’ heart beat faster.

He reached out a hand and carefully stroked a few strands back from his face.

Sirius’ eyes immediately fluttered shut and his lips parted in response.

James’ breath hitched.

“Are you sure?”

“Yes.”

He reverently rubbed the silken strands through his fingers, marveling at how soft and shiny they were. And then he leaned his face down, inhaling the crook of his neck, and ran his lips across the soft skin, all the while entwining his fingers in his hair, and feeling things he never thought possible. 

Sirius made a strangled sort of noise and he pulled back and stared at him, completely surprised to see a tear sliding down his cheek.

“Thank you,” Sirius whispered, blinking his eyes open.

And James didn’t know what to say. He had no idea Sirius would react in such a way, or that he’d actually _wanted_ him to touch his hair all this time. He felt like a complete idiot. “I love you,” he blurted out, “ _and_ your hair.”

Sirius started to smile, relief washing over his face.

“I love it anyway you wear it…but like _this_ …” James breathed, delicately caressing the top part (which he was sure must have taken Sirius ages to accomplish). “I nearly died.”

Sirius’ eyes lit up. “I’m glad you like it.”

“Erm, yeah, but see ‘ _like_ ’ isn't really the right word, though,” James said thoughtfully. “More like—‘Makes me wanna rip your clothes off with my bare teeth and _suck_ you into oblivion...’

Sirius’s eyes grew large.

“And don’t even get me started on how bloody brilliant your _arse_ looks in these trousers—are you _trying_ to kill me? Because if so, you damn well succeeded. If you wore these things every day to class I’d have to quit Hogwarts and attend a Muggle school, just to spare my cock the daily torture.”

Sirius grinned so wide his eyes crinkled. “Well, I _did_ die, several deaths, actually…One when I saw you standing by the tree looking too beautiful for words—with your hair like _that_ , and those goddamn pants and that shirt…I’m gonna die again just thinking about it.” He squinted his eyes shut and scrunched up his face.

James grinned and leaned down again, going for his throat; he placed hungry kisses all the way down it whilst trying to unbutton his collar. “ _God_ , you smell so fucking good,” he groaned, inhaling his neck.

Sirius writhed underneath him and tilted his head back, panting. “And exactly _how_ …do you expect me _not_ to die when you give me a _gift_ like that?”

James paused his ministrations for a moment and peered down at him. “You really like it?”

“To borrow the phrase of a little known poet, ‘ _Like_ is not really the right word…it makes me wanna rip your clothes off with my bare teeth and _suck_ you into oblivion,’” Sirius said with a smug smile.

“Really, now? Wise poet. Well, then I’m sure you’ve heard the one about a lifetime’s worth of cock sucking for the artist that drew the stag?”

“Yeah, that does sound _vaguely_ familiar,” Sirius said. “So you really like it?”

“Babe,” he breathed, a few inches from his mouth, “It’s the best gift I’ve ever received…next to _you_ , of course,” he crooned before kissing him.

“I love you,” Sirius whispered against his lips. “And I’m sorry if I say it too much…but I can’t help it.”

James’ chest tightened and he pulled back, feeling as if he’d just been punched in the gut, but in a _good_ way. “I’ll never get tired of hearing it, he said, cupping his perfect face gently between his palms. “I love you, too,” he whispered back, his eyes starting to water. “ _God_ , you’ve turned me into such a bloody sop.”

“You were always a sop, love. I just coaxed it out,” Sirius said, smiling warmly and stroking his hair back from his face. “So are we gonna get naked or what?”

“Yes, please!”

“And it’s okay if we muss up each other’s hair. It’s clearly already done its job.”

“I’ll say!” James grinned as he leaned down and placed a kiss on his jaw. “Mmm, and you’re smooth again,” he murmured, rubbing their faces together.

“Mmmhmm. Might feel better between your legs now…”

“I like you anyway you _come_ ,” James replied, and then started chuckling as the innuendo dawned on him.

“My poet,” Sirius snorted.

James lowered his body down on top of him. “Well this poet needs you _naked_.”

“Is that so?”

“It is.”

A beat passed and then they both lunged for each other, buttons flying and once perfectly coiffed hair going right out the window.

***

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AHHHHHH!!! *lights myself on fire*🔥🔥🔥


	18. Polaroids

***

~S~

_Holy shit…holy shit…holy shit…_

Sirius scrunched his eyes shut and tilted his head back on the bed, already seeing stars and trying to suck in more air.

But it was hard to function properly with James hovering between his legs, his mouth currently wrapped around his cock and his hands gripping onto his bare hips, holding him still.

“Fuck!” Sirius yelped, bucking up as James sucked with a vengeance; his impossibly hot, _wet_ mouth completely undoing him.

James looked up and smirked around his mouthful, his green eyes so dark they were practically black.

Sirius groaned loudly and scrunched his eyes shut again, digging his hands into his own hair whilst writhing on the bed.

_How is this fucking real?!_

“GOD!” he yelped, suddenly feeling James’ teeth dragging against his skin.

“Too rough?” James asked, popping him out of his mouth and licking his swollen lips.

Sirius pushed himself up on his elbows and just stared at him incredulously, wanting to tell him he could be as _rough_ as he liked, turn him inside out and eat him for breakfast if he fancied, but the words just wouldn’t come up.

James started to grin wickedly and Sirius dropped his head back on the bed and exhaled, still wondering how this was real life.

His body stiffened, and in less than a second, he was curling his toes into the sheets, releasing everything he had.

And as usual, James was there to catch it.

***

~J~

“Ah!” James yelped, rolling right off the bed and hitting the hardwood floor with a thud.

“Ugh!” Sirius groaned, falling on top of him and knocking all of his air out.

“Bloody hell! We’re gonna wake the house,” James wheezed, wrapping his arms tightly around Sirius’ slick back and hugging him to his body.

“Well, if you didn’t like to play so _rough_ ,” Sirius chuckled, lifting his head up and placing a kiss right between his bare pecs.

James shivered and started to grin. “You know you like it, too…”

“Yeah, yeah.”

“So are we just gonna sleep down here or what? Cause my arse is going numb.”

“I have an even better idea.” Sirius replied, propping himself up on his forearms. 

“Yeah?”

“Why don’t we sneak downstairs and get some hot chocolate? I bet the fire’s still burning.”

“Mmm, that sounds good, actually.”

James was still seeing stars, and not because he’d just fallen off the bed, but because Sirius had completely and utterly drained the life out of his cock… _and_ his ability to properly curse for that matter; everything came out garbled and incoherent. But when Sirius Black had a hold of your dick ( _and your_ _heart_ ) all sobriety went right out the window.

And maybe it was just because it was Christmas, or maybe it was some kind of wonky after-effect from his pop’s hair cream, but they'd both been _exceptionally_ horny and enthusiastic this night; they’d practically ripped each other’s clothes off with their teeth, groping and snogging and nearly breaking the bed...And had had never seen _anyone_ take a belt off quite as fast, or as _passionately_ , as Sirius. It was like some kind of party trick; the way he’d flip open the metal latch and then rip the thing off and toss it across the room like it was on fire...

He was starting to get hard again just remembering it. 

***

~S~

Sirius pried himself up with a grunt and smiled down at James. He was gloriously naked and sprawled out on the floor…with one very _exhausted_ cock. At least he _assumed_ there wasn’t anything left, but then again, James was always surprising him.

He bent down and grabbed hold of his wrist, tugging him to get up. “C’mon, love, let’s go…before it’s bloody _morning_.”

“I love it when you talk sweet…” James mumbled, slowly pushing himself to standing and raking his hand back through his hair, the leftover cream having turned it into a greasy mess. “But maybe we should take a quick shower first? I’d really like to get this stuff outta my hair,” James grimaced, rubbing his fingers together.

“Alright, but we’ll make it _quick_ …And no _funny business_ ,” Sirius said, tapping a finger to the center of his chest.

“I can’t make any promises, Padfoot,” James replied, his green eyes full of fire. 

Sirius smirked and tugged him into the loo.

~~~

After showering and rinsing out their hair (during which there may, or may not have been some _funny business)_ they slipped into their matching striped Christmas pajamas (thanks to Mrs. Potter) and tip-toed downstairs.

“I’ll heat the chocolate on the stove and you see if you can find where mum stashed those iced biscuits from the bakery,” James said, pulling a whisk out of the drawer. 

“I just love you all domestic, Prongs,” Sirius sighed as he rummaged in the pantry.

James smirked, starting to whisk the chocolate.

Sirius appeared beside him with a white box and popped open the lid, revealing the biscuits. They were wonderfully thick and covered in about an inch of white icing, just the way he liked them. He snatched one out of the box and held it up to James’ mouth. “Open up, love, I know how you like _sweet_ things.”

James grinned widely, his eyes lighting up, right before Sirius shoved it against his teeth.

“Hey!” James barked out, opening his mouth wider.

“And I know how you enjoy having things _shoved down your throat_ ,” Sirius purred, before darting to the other side of the counter, laughing. 

“Oh, I’ll get you for that...” James said darkly, swallowing the biscuit down as he watched him with glittering eyes.

Sirius grinned and grabbed two mugs, setting them down by the stove, and then he pulled himself up on the counter and watched James whisk. “You’re an expert with your hands, you know?”

“So I’ve been told,” James murmured, setting the utensil down and turning off the burner. He sauntered over to him and placed his hands on his knees, pushing his legs open wider and moving in between them.

A thrill went up Sirius’ spine.

“Really? Who else told you such a thing?” he asked, cupping James’ face between his palms and frowning.

“Oh, Remus, Peter, Frank…let’s see…I’m sure there are more…”

“ _Excuse me_? And how exactly would _they_ know?” Sirius hissed, raising his eyebrows.

“ _Quidditch,_ you jealous git,” James chuckled, moving in as close as possible and reaching around to grab his arse with both hands. Sirius jolted and bit down on his bottom lip, his eyes zeroing in on James’ luscious mouth; his lips were still red and swollen from their previous antics. 

James automatically closed his eyes and tilted his head back, clearly anticipating a kiss, and Sirius’ heart fluttered at the sight.

_James Potter, eagerly awaiting my kiss…_

_Merlin._

Something he never would have dreamt possible. 

Leaning down, he gently pressed their lips together, resting his elbows on James' shoulders as he did.

James made a noise and kissed him back hungrily, pushing him into the counter as his hands clutched his arse.

And as usual, things become heated very quickly.

Sirius squirmed and wrapped his legs around James' waist, entwining his fingers into his damp hair.

“Bloody hell…will I ever _not_ be hard around you?” James panted between increasingly sloppy kisses, sliding his hands up the back of his pajama top and caressing the bare skin.

“I hope I never see the day,” Sirius breathed.

“I could take you, right here, right now…” James murmured before their mouths crashed together again.

“And I could let you,” Sirius panted, feeling as if he were on fire. “But the hot chocolate would get cold…”

“I don’t give a shit.”

“But you will…when you have to…re-heat it again…” Sirius breathed.

James pulled back, a bemused smirk sliding up his face. “Is the temperature of your beverage really all you can think about at a time like this?”

Sirius grinned, rubbing his thumbs back and forth over James’ warm cheekbones as he held his face. “I just don’t want to get caught,” he whispered, trying not to seem as anxious as he felt.

The truth was, if the Potter’s ever found out about them…and if they _disapproved_ …Well, he just couldn't deal with that. He’d already been disowned by his own flesh and blood family...Losing the Potters would simply be unbearable.

“Oh, alright…” James huffed, pecking his lips one more time and turning back to the stove. He filled up both their matching Christmas tree mugs whilst Sirius grabbed the box of sweets and headed for the living room.

“I’ll just add another log,” James said, setting his mug down on the floor in front of the fire.

“You’d make a great lumberjack, Prongs,” Sirius mused, eyeing his tempting, flexed biceps whilst he carried the heavy piece of wood.

James just chuckled softly and shook his head.

Sirius grabbed some quilts from a basket and pulled them to the floor, and when James sat down they wrapped them around themselves, cuddling up side by side, with their steaming mugs in hand.

“I can’t think of a happier Christmas,” James sighed.

“My either,” Sirius replied, his lips curving up into an impish grin. He could still feel James staring at him.

“What?”

“Nothing. I just… _I love you_ ,” James crooned, leaning towards him and nearly spilling his drink.

Sirius placed his mug on the floor and turned towards him, “I love you, _too_ ,” he whispered, staring deep into his eyes and practically getting lost.

James licked his lips and sat down his mug. He reached his hands up and wrapped Sirius’ quilt more tightly around him, and then pulled him into his lap, holding him so his back was pressed snugly against his chest.

Completely surprised, and utterly thrilled, Sirius grinned like a git and squirmed until he was in a comfortable position.

_Another first…_

They sat like that for a while, watching the fire crackle, not needing to say a word.

Sirius leaned his head back on James’ shoulder and simply melted. _We fit together so perfectly_ , he thought, amazed by how absolutely familiar, how totally right, it felt to be sitting in James’ lap. Like he’d done it a million times before.

"Mmm, I wish we could just stay here all night,” James murmured, pressing his lips to his ear, his deep voice sending a thrill up his spine.

“Me, too, love. Me, too.”

Sirius wiggled a bit and reached over to grab his mug and take a sip. James did the same.

“Biscuit?” he asked, holding one up to James’ mouth. “Sure,” he replied before biting it out of his hand and snickering as he swallowed it down. 

Sirius smirked. “Oh, where’s that tin can of caramel popcorn your mum had?” he asked around a mouthful, crumbs falling all over his quilt. 

“Here,” James said, handing it to him.

Sirius tugged and tugged on the lid but try as he might, he couldn’t get it off. “Your mum must be deceptively _strong_ ,” he huffed, continuing to strain.

“Give it here,” James smirked. He tugged once and the lid popped off and they were both instantly blinded by a flash of light.

“Bloody hell! I’M BLIND!” Sirius hissed.

“SHIT! It’s mum’s _possessed camera_! I forgot she shoved it in there!” James exclaimed.

They both scrambled to get up as the camera flew wildly above them, flashing its lights and spitting Polaroids all over the floor. But they were in such a tangled mess they couldn’t move. Sirius was smothered in his blanket and started laughing hysterically whilst James accidentally whacked the box of biscuits clear across the room with his foot, sending them flying in all directions. “Bloody hell!” he groaned trying to stand up, but tripping over the popcorn tin instead. He hit the floor hard with a thud.

“Get your damn wand!” Sirius screeched, still trapped under the blanket and unable to see.

“No time!”

James leapt in the air and caught hold of the camera, holding onto it for dear life. He quickly shoved it back in the empty can and smashed the lid over the top, breathing heavily; the floor now covered in caramel popcorn and Polaroids. Panting, he leaned down and tugged the quilt off of Sirius.

“What?” Sirius asked, looking up at him with wild eyes and even wilder hair.

“You git!”

“Hey, it’s not _my_ fault! I just wanted the damn popcorn— _not the possessed camera_!” Sirius hissed, trying to contain his laughter. He knew James wasn’t _really_ cross.

James huffed and brushed some popcorn out of the way before sitting back down.

“Hey, look at this,” Sirius said, picking up a Polaroid. “Merlin’s beard, I look _insane_ ,” he whispered, narrowing his eyes.

“I doubt it,” James replied, snatching it from his hand. He held it closer to his eyes and frowned, “No, I take that back. You _definitely_ look insane.”

“You dickhead!” Sirius barked, throwing his body towards him and shoving him onto his back. “Just for that I’m gonna have to snog you until you can’t breathe.”

“Have at it.”

Sirius grinned wolfishly as he leaned down, bringing the quilt with him.

***

~J~

James beamed, relishing the feel of Sirius covering every inch of him—the kernels of popcorn now permanently wedged into his back were no matter. His body came alive again and responded as it always did for Sirius, with _reckless abandon_. He groaned and turned his face to the side, panting for air and already feeling his cock come to life.

“God, you’re…you’re _somethin’ else_ , you know that?”

“So I’ve been told…” Sirius crooned, leaning down and placing a burning kiss on his jaw.

“By who?” James breathed.

“By the only one that matters… _you_.”

James turned his head to look at him and smiled, feeling like his heart was set on fire. “Happy Christmas, babe,” he said.

“Happy Christmas,” Sirius grinned before throwing the quilt over them like some kind of vampire and attacking his mouth.

***

~J~

Eventually, they pried themselves apart and attempted to clean up their mess.

James gathered all the Polaroid’s with a huge grin on his face, so happy to have mementos from their special night. In fact, the first picture the camera had taken, where Sirius was sitting in his lap, was by far his favorite. Yes, they were smothered in quilts with their faces all scrunched up from the blinding light, but it was real, candid, and it captured a precious, and albeit, _hilarious_ , moment he never wanted to forget. He decided he needed his own non-possessed camera just to take pictures of Sirius with.

They trudged back up to their bedroom and crashed in a heap on his bed. He pulled the comforter up to their faces as he spooned Sirius from behind, inhaling the back of his neck and instantly relaxing. He was absolutely certain now that he simply could _not_ live without that particular scent—how he’d managed to survive so long without it…he’d never know.

“Night,” Sirius murmured, snuggling into him. 

“Night,” he whispered back, holding him so close he could feel his heart beat.

***

~S~

The next day was spent lounging around the house, living off leftovers, and watching footie with Mr. Potter. The snow was still coming down outside but they stayed nice and cozy inside with the fire blazing and plenty of hot chocolate and apple cider to keep them warm.

At one point, Sirius noticed a piece of caramel popcorn on the floor and hastily snatched it up and shoved it inside his mouth. James shot him an incredulous look, as if wondering what in the world he’d just eaten off the floor. Sirius simply raised his eyebrows and pursed his lips, but James still wasn’t getting the message, so he mimicked taking a picture with his hands, and _finally_ , James’ eyes widened with comprehension. James then proceeded to double over with laughter like a lunatic, and Mr. Potter told him he needed to lay off the sweets because clearly, they were making him _loopy_.

Sirius just chuckled nervously before whacking him in the face with a pillow.

_So much for being discrete._

~~~

“Did you explain to your mum how that biscuit ended up under the table?” Sirius asked, as James shut their bedroom door.

“I just told her I must have dropped it when I was eating some earlier.”

“Well, thankfully, she didn’t see all the sodding popcorn scattered around the room. I had to eat _all_ of it, you know. For the _sake of our love_ ,” Sirius said with a sniff, clutching at his chest dramatically and closing his eyes.

James just stared at him with a baffled expression and then burst out laughing. “You didn’t have to _eat_ it all, you wanker! You could have just shoved it in your pocket or something…” He shook his head. “And besides, the popcorn’s _nothing_. I found a bloody _Polaroid_ sticking out from the bottom of the sofa. “Here,” he said, tossing it to him.

“Bloody hell!”

It was a picture of the two of them in a tangle, him sitting in James’ lap, being smothered by their blankets and reaching up to grab the possessed camera.

“Yeah, this is definitely worse than the popcorn evidence. Do you think we’ve found all the pictures?”

“I dunno, but I’m gonna sweep the place again just to be sure.”

“Good idea.”

“I’ll keep them in my trunk from here on out,” James said. “It’d probably be the safest place for when we’re back at school anyway. And Peter knows I’d literally _kill_ him if I found him rummaging through my stuff again…”

“So you’re saying I’m less _threatening_ than you are?” Sirius pouted.

“Baby,” James sighed, walking towards him and wrapping his arms snugly around his waist, pressing their hips together. “I’m saying that when it comes to _that sort of thing,_ you actually might be the more forgiving one.”

“Oh.”

James could certainly be foreboding when he wanted to, and even temperamental if the right buttons were pushed. 

“Yeah,” James said, leaning down and brushing their lips together softly. And then he hugged him close, wrapping his arms fully around his back and burying his face in the crook of his neck. “Babe?”

“Hmm?”

“How are we gonna manage this at school?”

“Us?”

“Yeah.”

“I dunno…but we’ll find a way. I _promise_ ,” Sirius replied, peering up at him. “You’re the most _important_ thing to me, and that’s not gonna change when we get back,” he said, tucking a loose curl behind his ear.

“But we’ll have to keep it a secret.”

“Well, maybe for a while. I mean, hopefully we’ll eventually be able to tell Remus and Peter, and that’ll take a huge load off.”

“Yeah, it’d be nice if we could at least be ourselves around them,” James said sadly.

“Hey, don’t get all down on me. Not yet. We still have over a week left and we’ll make the most of it. Next term will fly by and then it’ll be summer…”

“The _summer,”_ James sighed wistfully. “I’m already counting down the days…”

Sirius bit his lip anxiously and fiddled with a stray thread on James’ jumper. “I’ve been thinking about that lately, actually…”

“What? The summer?”

“Yeah, and since I’ll already be of age, _and I’m never going back home again_ , I thought maybe I could get a job…and even a place of my own.”

“What?! And not stay with _me_?” James screeched, pulling him into his arms and holding him as if he might disappear.

“Shhh, you wanker!” Sirius hissed, pressing his hands to his chest. “I thought maybe…if you wanted to…we could _maybe_ …live together?”

“Oh.”

“Yeah, I mean it’s just an _idea_ …” he said nervously, looking down at the floor with his heart lodged in his throat.

_Maybe I shouldn’t have said anything…_

“Hey,” James said, tipping his chin back up with his finger, “I think that’s a _brilliant_ idea!”

“Really?”

“Yes! It would be even better than living here because we’d have _privacy_ ,” he said with a devilish grin.

“ _Exactly_ my thoughts,” Sirius smirked. “We can figure out the details later…but I just wanted to put it out there.”

“Well, I’m glad you did…Now c’mere,” James said, grabbing his shirt collar and pulling him up.

***

~J~

“Have you boys made a list of everything you need in Diagon Alley?” Mrs. Potter asked a few days later. She was furiously whisking pancake batter in a giant, ceramic bowl and for the millionth time, James wondered why she didn’t just use magic and make it easier on herself.

“Uh, sorta,” he replied, resting his chin in his hands with a dazed expression, his brain miles away.

He and Sirius had had a particularly wild romp the night before, nearly going down a road they’d yet to explore, and he couldn’t get something off his mind…namely, _Sirius’_ _arse_ …and certain things he wanted to do to it. He was no expert on sexual intercourse, but lately, he’d been wondering if, or _when_ , Sirius might want to take things to the next level. Yes, they were just mastering blow-jobs, hand-jobs, and every kind of _job_ in between, but he was still very curious about other modes of intimacy…yet he didn’t have the foggiest on how to broach the topic. Plus, it was hard enough doing what they did knowing his parents were literally in the _same_ house, a mere floor below them…Doing anything even more _amorous_ (and potentially _noisy_ ) just seemed out of the question. 

“James? Have you heard _anything_ I’ve just said?” his mother asked.

“Hmm?” he noised, raising his eyes up to look at her.

She just huffed and whisked harder.

“I _said…_ you need to make a _list_ because we’ll go to Diagon Alley on Saturday to get everything.”

“Oh, yeah…okay. Wait, can’t Sirius and I just go on our own?”

“Well you’re certainly not driving all the way to London by yourselves just yet! But you two can run your own errands when we get there. I’m sure it’s not ‘cool’ to be seen with one’s parents.”

“Right, yeah…”

Sirius kicked him under the table and shot him an irritated look that said, _“What in the bloody hell’s wrong with you?”_

James just rolled his eyes and took a sip of his coffee, continuing to think.

***

~J~

“What was that about?” Sirius asked when they walked into the living room and plopped down on the sofa.

“Your arse.”

“What?”

“Oh, did I just say that out loud?” James asked smirking.

“What about my arse?”

“Well, I was just daydreaming about it…that’s all.”

“At the breakfast table? In front of your _mum_?”

“Yeah, is there a crime against that?”

“Wanker.”

“You know it!” he grinned goofily, elbowing him in the side several times.

Sirius yelped and swatted at him.

James scooted even closer so their arms were touching, and flipped on the telly. “Wish we could cuddle,” he whispered.

“Yeah, me, too,” Sirius whispered back, squirming next to him.

“Hey, I have an idea.” James grabbed the quilt off the back of the sofa and threw it over them, then slid his hand under and grabbed Sirius’ thigh, making him yelp in surprise.

“You are _not_ gonna manhandle me under this blanket!” Sirius hissed, his blue eyes going large.

“No, but I thought I could at least _hold your hand_ ,” James pouted.

Sirius smirked at him and grabbed his hand under the quilt, lacing their fingers together tightly. “Hey, have you thought anymore about the…you know, _tattoos_?” he whispered.

“Yeah, but I’m still not sure on what I’d get. What about you?”

“Well, I was thinking maybe a stag or the letter ‘J’ real small somewhere…”

“I like the idea of a symbol, so yeah, maybe I could get a black dog and you could get a stag…or is that not personal enough?” he asked biting his lip.

“No, I think it’s definitely _personal_ …I mean it’s our greatest secret…at least, it used to be…until _us_.”

“True…” he said with a smirk, still keeping his eyes focused on the telly. “So where would you get it?”

“Definitely some place that would be hidden and only I’d be able to see…Well, and you'd be able to see it, too, obviously…”

James started blushing. “Maybe above your arse then,” he grinned.

“What is it with you and my _arse_?!”

“I guess I’m just an _arse man_ ,” he chuckled.

Sirius just shook his head.

“Anyway, get it above your arse or someplace private. Remember, the other lads will see you half-naked after Quidditch so…” he trailed off, frowning.

“What?”

“I don’t like that.”

“What?”

“The other lads…seeing you _half-naked_. No, I think it would be best if you just changed later...back at the dorms.”

“Excuse me?! I am _not_ slugging all the way back up to the dorms in my uniform, all sweaty and gross after every practice just to appease your jealousy,” Sirius sniffed. “I’ll shower and change in the locker rooms like normal, thank you very much.”

“Fine,” James huffed.

“And what about _you_?”

“What about me?”

“I don’t like the idea of anyone seeing _your_ half-naked body either!” Sirius nearly shrieked.

“Shhh! Bloody hell, calm down. No one even cares…I mean, _we’re_ the only ones that would care.”

“Maybe.”

“Why? Do you suspect someone?”

“No, but I mean…you _never know_. I never would have thought in a million years you’d be…you _know_ ,” he said, lowering his voice.

“Right.”

“Okay, anyway, the _tattoos_ ,” James whispered. “Where should I get mine?”

“Right above your cock,” Sirius said licking his lips exaggeratedly and then smirking like a fiend.

James’ mouth fell open.

“What? I guess I’m just a _cock_ _man_ ,” Sirius said innocently, reaching under the blanket and caressing his fly with his fingertips.

_Merlin!_

James’ eyes nearly bugged out. He nervously raked his hand back through his hair, exhaling heavily and closing his eyes. “Well, that’s definitely a place…only _you_ would see,” he said in a low, strained voice.

“Exactly.”

***

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lots of cock action in this one...I know! But can you ever really have too much?! 🍆💦😂📸


	19. The Mark of Love

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A long, fun one! Enjoy!❤️

***

~J~

The time had finally come for them to go to Diagon Alley.

Mrs. Potter insisted on driving them to London, where they entered the wizarding shopping center through the secret brick wall at the back of the Leaky Cauldron.

James stepped out onto the cobblestoned streets and blinked his eyes in the bright sunlight, glad to be back in the familiar place among his own kind. Sirius followed close behind him, swiping his hair back and looking around.

“How about I meet you in front of Ollivander’s at three o’clock?” his mum asked. “That should give you plenty of time to get up to mischief,” she said, pinching his cheek.

“Mum, I’m _not_ a child…” James huffed, rolling his eyes.

“Well, you’ll always be _my_ little boy, sweetheart. And besides, with those dimples…”

“Okay, okay. Yes, we’ll meet you then.”

“Have fun!” she said with a wink.

He nearly grabbed Sirius’ hand out of habit, but stopped himself, and nudged against his shoulder instead.

“Where to first?” Sirius asked.

“Gringotts. I need to make a withdrawal.”

“Okay.”

“Did you bring your money with you or do you need to make one as well?” James asked.

“I brought some, but guess I might as well get some more while we’re here…” Sirius shrugged, and then he gripped hold of his bicep, squeezing tight enough to make James stop and look at him. “Do you think we’ll have to go down into the vaults?” he whispered, his face as white as a sheet.

“I doubt it…I’m not taking out that large of a sum…They’ll probably just hand it to me over the counter,” James replied, narrowing his eyes at him.

“Okay, good,” Sirius breathed, suddenly looking relieved.

They walked up the massive stone steps and under the crooked, white pillars of the impressive bank. Passing a sneering goblin who was standing guard next to the door, they entered the grand space; its gleaming marble counters lined with goblins busily weighing precious jewels, enthusiastically stamping papers, and attending to an assortment of diverse looking wizarding characters. 

James shivered.

He never much cared for goblins.

“Cold?”

“Uncomfortable,” he whispered.

Sirius slightly brushed his fingertips across the back of James’ hand, making him smile and feel a bit braver. He went and stood before a counter, swallowing hard and trying not to look too closely at the revolting creature perched behind it.

***

~S~

Sirius wasn’t much afraid of goblins; his house elf, _Kreecher_ , was about as evil and untrustworthy as any goblin. Probably _worse_.

James cleared his throat.

The goblin ignored him.

He cleared it again, and this time _loudly_ , and finally, the goblin looked up; it narrowed its cunning, black eyes behind gold rimmed spectacles and observed them with an air of suspicion.

“I’d like to make a withdrawal. James Potter is the name, if you please.”

“How much?” The goblin hissed, baring it's sharp, pointy teeth.

“Fifty galleons.”

Sirius’ eyes widened at the large sum. James had certainly never wanted for anything...between his parent’s successful inventions _and_ the bakery, the Potter’s did _very well_. Not to mention the large inheritance that was routinely passed down from father to son.

The goblin pulled out a small, tan pouch and set it on the counter and then scrupulously counted fifty gold coins and dropped them inside, shoving it towards James as if it pained him greatly to see it go. The creatures obviously used some kind of charm to detect if each customer was in fact who they claimed to be, otherwise, just anyone could walk in wearing a disguise.

James hastily snatched the pouch and moved out of the way.

Sirius cleared his throat and stepped forward, “And I, Sirius Black, would like to withdrawal _five_ galleons.”

“Black, you say? As in, the _Noble House of Black_?” the goblin sneered, a wicked gleam in its beady, black eyes.

“Yes, that would be the one,” he sighed, forcing himself not to roll his eyes dramatically. 

The goblin looked down at something behind the counter and then back up at him, a malicious smirk sliding up its hideous, overly-large mouth.

“Your account has been closed.”

Sirius’ mouth fell open. He quickly turned and shot a panicked look to James, who just stared back with wide eyes.

“Erm, are you sure?” he asked, turning back to the goblin.

“Quite.”

“When was it closed?”

“August fifteenth of this year.”

“Oh.”

“Will there be anything else?” the goblin hissed, his black eyes practically glittering with delight.

“No.”

Sirius turned away, his shoulders instantly sagging, feeling as if he’d just been punched in the gut, all the wind having been knocked out of him. He started to sway on his feet and James was there, grabbing hold of his forearm and briskly pulling him through the crowds and out of the bank.

When they arrived at the white stone steps Sirius sunk down and held his head in his hands, trying to breathe. “I can’t believe it…they’ve cut me off. They really did it.”

James sat down next to him, pressing their legs together and chewing on his bottom lip. “Sirius,” he said quietly, “you will never want for money as long as I’m alive. You know that, right?”

Sirius looked up at him, utterly gobsmacked, his eyes starting to fill with water.

“Merlin. Do _not_ cry. Because if you do, I will be forced to snog you on these very steps, and maybe even rip your clothes off…causing such a massive scene it will surely make the front page of the Daily Prophet…” James said through clenched teeth.

Sirius started to smile and let out a snort. “Okay, okay I won’t. But seriously…I don’t expect you to pay for my every need…I’ve got to figure this out myself.”

“But what if I _want_ to take care of you?”

“It’s out of the question.”

“But why?”

“Just because.”

“You’re so goddamn _stubborn_ ,” James huffed. “So then what’s your plan?”

“I’m not sure.”

“Well, look, we don’t have time to figure it all out right now. For now, just let me buy what you need, and if you _insist_ on paying me back later, you can.”

“Fine, but I _will_ pay you back.”

“Hopefully you’ll forget,” James said with a smirk.

“I won’t.”

James stared down at him for a moment, his face contorting. “ _God_ , this is so frustrating,” he muttered.

“What?”

“Not being able to kiss you, damn it!”

“Shhh! Bloody hell!” Sirius hissed, standing up and grabbing him by the bicep. “Just keep it in your pants, Prongs…Now, where are we going first?” he asked tugging him along.

“I need to go to Eeylops, Flourish and Blotts, and Quidditch Supplies. You?”

“Same.”

“And what about the _tattoos_?” James leaned down and whispered by his ear.

Sirius licked his lips. “Erm, I think that might be in Knockturn Alley.”

“Fabulous.”

“Look, if you don’t wanna do it, we don’t have to,” Sirius said, glancing back at him and feeling his heart sink.

“No, I want to. I just don’t particularly care for that place.”

Sirius couldn't have agreed more. 

They entered Eeylops Owl Emporium and proceeded to stock up on treats for Onyx and Archimedes.

“You spoil him,” Sirius said smirking and shaking his head.

“Well, maybe if you _spoiled_ Onyx, he’d actually do what you wanted.”

“Yeah, yeah…”

***

~J~

Next, they headed to Flourish and Blotts to pick up a few school supplies for the new term, and Sirius kept deliberately bumping against James’ side as they walked down the aisles, making it very hard to concentrate on anything.

“I know what you’re doing,” James whispered, casually trailing his fingers across a row of old books.

“And what would that be?”

“Teasing me until I can’t take it anymore.”

“Who, _me_?” Sirius asked innocently, staring up at him and batting his dark lashes.

_Those fucking eyelashes!_

“Yes,” James replied, clenching his jaw.

“And is it working?”

“Yes…C’mere,” he growled, grabbing him by the wrist and jerking him around the corner, more than ready to slam him up against a book case and bring one of his many fantasies to life…

And then he ran smack into someone.

“Snivellus!” he yelped.

He quickly let go of Sirius’ wrist, but not before Snape’s inscrutable black eyes had darted down to where he held him, and then back up again, a knowing smirk playing on his thin lips.

“Well, well, well,” Snape said, crossing his arms over his chest, “and what brings you two here?”

James was too flustered to speak, having swallowed his own tongue, but thankfully, Sirius jumped in and saved his arse. “It _is_ a bookstore, Snivellus, so if you had any brains at all you’d know _why_ we’re here.”

Snape just continued to stare at them, smirking like a demon.

 _The nerve_ , James thought, wanting to wipe the revolting smile right off his face. What did he _know_? And before he could open his mouth and say something nasty, Lily bounded around the corner, smiling.

But she stopped dead in her tracks as soon as she saw them.

“Oh, hi,” she said flatly, her smile suddenly fading.

“Hi,” James replied.

“Did you have a nice holiday?” she asked, looking from him to Sirius with wide eyes.

“Yeah, it was good. And yours?”

She looked at the bat and bit her lip, then started to grin and nodded her head, “Yeah, mine…I mean _ours_ was good, too.”

 _What does that mean?_ he wondered. _Are they like officially together now?_

“Good.”

“Well, I guess we’d better be going…C’mon Sev,” she said, grabbing hold of the bat’s arm. “We’ll see you back at school.” She smiled tightly and turned to walk away and Snape threw one last, infuriating smirk over his shoulder just before they disappeared behind a bookshelf. 

“Bloody hell,” Sirius hissed.

“Yeah…didn’t expect to see them.”

“Does it…bother you?” Sirius asked, chewing on his bottom lip, his blue eyes full of worry.

“What?”

“Lily and Snivellus…they’re obviously together now.”

“You think so?”

“Yes.”

“No,” James sighed, “it’s just strange, I suppose. I mean, I don’t feel anything for her anymore if that’s what you mean…but…”

“But what?”

“But I feel like Snivellus _knows_ something…The way he was looking at us. I know it’s daft, but I almost feel like he already knows about _us._ ”

“But how?” Sirius asked, furrowing his brows.

“I dunno. Maybe with his _Dark Arts_ obsession he’s finally found a way to know these things.”

“Like Legilimency?”

“Maybe.”

“Well, if he does know, or _suspicion_ , what does that mean for us?”

“That we need to be even more careful.”

“Right.”

~~~

After running the rest of their errands they finally headed to Knockturn Alley in search of a tattoo shop.

As they walked, James instinctively wanted to grab Sirius’ hand and squeeze it tight; it was such a dark and foreboding place and seemed to suck the cheerfulness right out of you...

And it didn’t help that it smelled of burnt cauldrons and rotten cabbage.

“Let’s try there,” Sirius whispered, pointing to a run-down looking shop with dirty glass windows and a crooked sign that read, “Magical Markings.”

James grimaced but followed behind him anyway.

They opened the door to the shop and looked around. The walls were covered in strange symbols and drawings of magical beasts, some he didn't even recognize. 

A burly looking man with a long beard and filthy clothes came out from the back, narrowing his eyes when he saw them. “You lot lost or somethin’?”

“Um, no. We would like to get some ‘markings,’” James said, trying to sound as if he knew what in the hell he was talking about.

“Markins’, eh? How old are yeh?”

“We’re both seventeen.”

“Righ’,” the man said, wiping his large, dirty hands on his even dirtier apron. “Well, do yeh know wha’ yeh want?”

“I’d like a dog and he’d like a stag,” James replied standing taller. He could feel Sirius cowering behind him.

_Why’s he getting scared now? Lord knows I’m only doing this for him!_

“Hmm, not sure I’ve ever done those before…,” the man said, whipping out his wand from his back pocket and walking over to the wall; he pointed it at a blank spot and suddenly the shape of a dog appeared in black ink.

“Somethin’ like tha’?”

“Close,” James said scrunching his brows, and then he proceeded to instruct him on the exact shape and size that he wanted.

If he was really going to do something this crazy, it damn well better look accurate.

***

~S~

Sirius couldn’t believe how calm and collected James was acting. The tables had really turned, and for some reason, he felt like a complete live-wire, ready to bolt at any second. Usually, he was the first one to run head-long into danger, without even batting an eye, but now…

_Maybe love has turned me soft…_

“Sirius, what do you think?” James asked, nudging him.

“Oh, um…yeah, I think it’s perfect,” he replied, starting to smile as the reality dawned on him that James was really going to get a tattoo of his _Animagus_.

“Now what about the stag?” James asked the shopkeeper.

“Righ’, how bout’ somethin’ like this…” the man said, and with a dramatic flourish of his wand the head of a stag appeared on the wall, a rack of antlers crowning its noble head.

“Wow, that’s just how I imagined it,” Sirius breathed, his eyes widening. “That’s perfect, actually.” He looked to James, who grinned at him widely, his green eyes lighting up.

“Okay, so where do yeh want em’?” the man asked.

James scrunched his face as if in pain and then finally let out a resigned sigh, “I want mine here,” he said, tapping his finger just below his right hip bone.

Sirius’ eyes widened.

_Holy shit! He’s really gonna do it!_

“An’ yeh’?”

“Uh… _here_ ,” he croaked, turning and pointing to his lower back, just above his arse.

The man narrowed his eyes and then looked them both up and down suspiciously before letting out a deep, rumble of a laugh. “I see wha’s goin’ on here,” he said, his dark eyes glittering.

“What?!” James yelped turning positively crimson.

“Yeh two er’ gettin’ markins’ for yer’ sweethearts…”

Sirius’ heart stopped.

“Oh—HA!” James blurted out before clamping a hand over his mouth, “I mean, right. Yes…for our _sweethearts_.” He flicked his eyes to Sirius and Sirius just stared back with wide eyes, once again at a loss for words.

“Well, this here’s a righ’ permanent bit o’magic. Yeh can try and have the mark removed, but it’ll leave a scar. The magic goes deep.”

“That’s okay, we won’t ever want them removed,” James said decisively, glancing over at Sirius and turning a deeper shade of maroon.

Sirius gulped.

***

~J~

“Alrigh’, lay down on the table here.”

James acquiesced, desperately trying not to think about how filthy it was, and exhaled; his heart feeling like it was literally about to pound out of his chest.

_Why am I doing this again?!_

_Why? Why? Why?!_

_Because it’s a symbol…a symbol of our love…_

“Will it hurt?” he asked.

“For a bit, yeah.”

_And because when things get hard…I can look at the mark and find strength…or just think of Sirius…kissing me right there…and actually get hard…Oh for fuckssake!_

He pushed his trousers and briefs down, just below his hip, and pointed to the exact spot where he wanted it. It was at least low enough to be hidden by his underwear, and no one besides Sirius should be venturing down that south anyway.

_Holy shit! Mother of Merlin! I’m really doing this! Bloody hell…_

Sirius grabbed his hand and squeezed tight.

The man pointed his wand at the chosen spot and black ink immediately began to flow out the tip and into James’ skin, forming the shape of a very distinct canine— _Sirius_. James scrunched his face up and started breathing hard, squeezing the life out of Sirius’ poor hand. 

“Alrigh,’ tha’ one’s done…” the man said, pulling his wand back.

_That was it?! It’s over?!_

James exhaled heavily, opening his eyes and releasing Sirius’ clammy hand. He propped himself up on his elbows and peered down the length of his body. “It’s perfect!” he beamed, utterly amazed by the level of skill and detail the man had shown; clearly the griminess of his appearance and his shop were not an accurate display of his talent. 

Sirius carefully helped him off the table, clutching him by the elbow; a look of pure awe now etched into his pale face. And then he started to grin.

And James grinned back, his heart racing.

_Bloody worth it._

***

~S~

Sirius couldn’t believe he was really about to do this.

He crawled on the table and lay on his stomach, shoving his pants and briefs down just below his arse crack, and then tapped the spot where he wanted it, praying he wasn’t about to make a colossal mistake.

_I’m just tattooing James on my arse…no big deal. I won’t regret this…It’ll be fine…I’ve done more mental things than this…I think. Holy fucking shit—I’m tattooing James on my ARSE! Mother of—_

He felt a sharp sting of pain and gasped, squeezing the life out of James’ hand.

“An’, done,” the man said after one more flourish of his wand.

Sirius blinked his watery eyes and propped himself up, feeling sloshed. He turned to look, but couldn’t see so James grabbed a dirty mirror off the counter and quickly held it up for him.

“Oh, s’brilliant!” he slurred, starting to grin and feeling utterly relieved.

_James is on my arse! Holy shit!_

The marking was of a small stag silhouette with its antlers just low enough to be hidden under the waistband of his briefs. The only downside was that he wouldn’t be able to see it all the time.

He tried to sit up and James grabbed hold of his shoulder, steadying him, and gingerly helped him off the table. It felt like the room was still spinning.

“What do we owe you?” James asked the man.

“A galleon.”

“Well, here are _two_ for doing such a fine job!” and he pressed two gold coins into his large, beefy hand.

“Well, thans’!” the shopkeeper beamed. “Me name’s Bargus, by the way. Sen’ yer friends!”

“Will do!” James replied, grabbing Sirius’ arm and promptly dragging him out the door.

When they returned to Diagon Alley Sirius was feeling slightly more sane and stable and turned to look at James as they walked. “Did we _really_ just do that? Bloody hell.”

“Yes, I think we did…” James replied, his face still ashen and his eyes wide.

“Christ…that was a rush…” Sirius breathed, shaking his head.

James pressed against his side and leaned down by his ear. “I think we need to celebrate with some ice-cream, and _I’m_ paying.”

Sirius started to grin and bumped against his shoulder, wishing he could hold his hand.

“I can’t say _no_ to that.”

They walked into Florean Fortescue’s Ice Cream Parlour and sat down at a table in the back where James ordered two “Bat Blood” Sundaes—the “blood” being raspberry sauce, naturally.

Sirius winced as he scooted back against his seat.

“Yeah, I didn’t think about how _sore_ we’d be,” James said with a pained expression, still looking a bit peaky.

“Well, it was still worth it…I mean, I now have you tattooed on my _arse_ ,” Sirius whispered, a massive grin sliding up his face.

“Well, every time you suck my…” James cleared his throat, “you’ll be reminded of my _undying love_ ,” he said, his green eyes dancing.

Sirius smirked at him incredulously and shook his head.

Their sundaes were placed on the table, fully loaded with a mound of whipped cream and _Bat Blood_ raspberry sauce dripping down the sides; tiny chocolate bats, chopped nuts, and a cherry on top completed the mouth-watering ensemble.

James took the cherry off his, popped it in his mouth and sucked off the cream whilst Sirius watched his every move with darkening eyes. “Such a tease.”

“I only learn from the best,” James smirked, pulling the cherry stem out of his mouth with a loud pop and holding it up.

***

~S~

The ride back home was a quiet one, the busyness and excitement of their day finally starting to set in…not to mention the now throbbing _pain_ from their markings. Sirius’ eyes were starting to water, and every time they went over a bump, he nearly shouted obscenities. 

When they got home the very first thing they did was run upstairs, strip, and hop in the shower.

“Feels so good to wash off the grime,” James said, rubbing a bar of soap over his dripping wet pecs.

Sirius tried not to gawk at him, but that was bloody near impossible. “Yeah, that place was _beyond_ filthy,” he replied, closing his eyes and letting the water run down his face. “I’m definitely gonna need some ice. Do you think your mum has any wizard’s medicine for pain relief?”

“I dunno, but I can look…” James said. “Hey, turn around, babe.”

Sirius fluttered his eyes open, not sure if he’d heard him right. And then James made a face, confirming what he’d thought.

He licked his lips nervously and slowly turned around.

And the next thing he felt was James’ finger, running down the length of his spine, nearly making him fall to his knees. He then trailed his fingertips over the marking, as light as a wisp.

Sirius shivered and pressed both hands firmly against the tile wall, desperately trying not to blurt out a string of curses and blow his load right then and there.

“Did I hurt you?”

“No,” he replied in a strangled voice.

“Good,” James said, moving behind him and placing a kiss on his shoulder.

And Sirius nearly lost it.

He could feel the heat rolling off James’ body; he was so close, so wet, just hovering over him...and he desperately wanted him to wrap his arms around him from behind and press against him, and possibly even do something they’d never done before. Something he was starting to want more and more with each passing day...

But the other part of him was desperate to look in James’ _eyes_.

He dropped his hands from the wall and turned back around, gazing up at him, all pain now far from his mind.

James stared back, his brows furrowed in that deep V that made him weak, and his green eyes full of unabashed hunger. Sirius pressed his palms against his wet chest and slowly slid them down; over his chiseled abs, and down to his lower belly, never breaking eye contact. James shivered but didn’t move. Sirius glanced down and swallowed hard before carefully caressing his mark with his fingertips, and when he looked back up, he marveled at the expression on James’ face; his eyes were dark and half closed as if he were drunk, and his mouth— _God_ , the things he could say without even uttering a word! Just the slightest parting of his lips. The smallest hitch of his breath. And that was all Sirius needed. He surged towards him, their wet bodies slamming together, and was instantly enveloped in James’ strong arms, kissing his mouth like a starving man as their tongues clashed together.

James pushed him up against the wall, desperately sucking on his lips whilst clasping onto his neck with both hands.

And all Sirius could focus on was the feel of James’ hard cock, pressing against his lower belly, but he was too stunned to even slip his hand between them and grab hold.

_Sweet mother of Merlin..._

The water continued to pour over them, but it didn't slow them down—nothing could at this point. Sirius writhed against him, everything becoming very hazy. “I think these were…a good choice…love,” he breathed between increasingly desperate, wet kisses.

“I agree,” James panted, “and I have a feeling they won’t be our _last_.”

Sirius started to grin, and then he felt James turn his attention to his throat, placing hungry kisses down the side and making him melt into the wall. “No, I doubt they will be," he breathed. "Maybe we should get a picture to remember our _firsts_.” 

“Okay, but not with that bloody possessed camera,” James said, pulling back to look at him, “…and not while I’m _naked_. I don’t think mum would appreciate finding _naked Polaroids_ of me scattered about the room.”

“No, but _I_ sure would,” Sirius smirked, tilting his head back and squeezing a handful of his arse.

***

~J~

After they crawled into bed, James carefully spooned Sirius from behind, trying his best not to press against his sore mark. He contentedly inhaled the back of his neck, (the place he simply couldn’t live without) burying his nose in the soft hair and sighing deeply, “I can’t believe we _really_ did it…”

“Mmm, me either,” Sirius hummed, snuggling his face into the pillow they both shared and squirming against him.

James’ eyes fluttered shut and he started to smile. “You got a fucking _tramp stamp_ for me, babe…”

Sirius just grunted and snuggled even closer to him.

***

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ✨🐺❤️🦌✨
> 
> I know this story is set in the 70’s and “tramp stamps” didn’t become popularized until the 90’s, but I just couldn’t resist! The thought of Sirius having one just makes me die laughing!😂❤️


	20. Cake and Sparklers

***

~J~

Their marks became less sore as the days wore on. Ice packs at night certainly helped, and of course, the daily blowjob to release the tension.

Or maybe that was unrelated...

Either way, they had no regrets about getting their “love marks”, and felt they would give them a sense of hope and reassurance when they returned to Hogwarts, because Merlin knew, the separation was going to be _torturous_.

“We need to figure out where our _private meeting spot_ should be when we get back to school,” James said thoughtfully as he was sitting on his bed, watching Archimedes meticulously clean his copper feathers. 

“Well, there’s always the Whomping Willow…”

“True...I suppose we could just use my cloak and sneak down there at night…because it would probably be safest _not_ to be in the castle when we’re going at it…not with _your_ noises,” he said smirking.

“Hey!” Sirius croaked from the other bed. He was lounging with his hands tucked behind his head and his ankles crossed. “Look, it won’t be that hard. I mean, we have way more resources than most…the Cloak, the Map, the Whomping Willow, _and_ our Animagus’…”

“Yeah, I guess. It’s just…you _know_ Peter and Remus will suspect something's up. We won’t be able to get it past them for long.”

“Yeah, I know. But I guess we can try, and then if we have to, we’ll just tell them the truth and hope for the best.”

“And what about _Snivellus_?”

“You mean will he use it against us if he finds out?”

“Yeah, I mean why _wouldn’t_ he? I’m sure he’s just _looking_ for a reason to humiliate me or get me expelled…” James pouted.

“I don’t doubt he’d want to do either of those things…but I have a feeling that maybe Lily would prevent something like that from happening. I mean, I never imagined she’d react how she did after I attacked her…and if anyone could sway the greasy bat, it would definitely be _her_.”

“True.”

“Don’t worry so much, love,” Sirius sighed. “We’ll figure it out. I mean, I’ve got you tattooed on my _arse_ …so there’s _always hope_.”

James snorted loudly and then started laughing so hard that he nearly fell off the bed. Archimedes shot him a nasty glare from his perch and then let out an indignant hoot.

“You have such a way with words, babe,” James heaved, and when he opened his eyes again, Sirius was hovering over him, grinning like a wolf.

***

~J~

“Are you sure you want it _that_ short?” James asked Sirius, who was currently sitting in the barber’s chair with a black cape wrapped around his shoulders.

“James, it’s just a _trim_ …It’ll grow back.”

James huffed and rolled his eyes. He couldn’t believe Sirius had actually _volunteered_ to get a haircut.

The barber looked back and forth between them, an exasperated expression crossing his pointed face. He placed his hands on his hips and tapped his foot impatiently whilst holding a pair of golden scissors.

“I just like it _long_ is all,” James pouted.

“Okay, then just about half an inch off the bottom,” Sirius said, looking at the barber in the mirror.

“Are you _sure_?” the barber asked, pursing his lips.

Sirius darted his eyes back to James and James nodded in approval.

“Yes, I’m _positive_ ,” Sirius replied.

James smiled like a smug frog, his eyes sparkling.

_That’s my fucking man._

***

~S~

“Alright, lo—I mean _mate_ , your turn,” Sirius said, standing up and pulling the black cape off of himself, trying to contain his soppy grin; James would just never know how much his possessiveness thrilled him.

“I think I want to cut the lot of it,” James sighed, sitting down in the chair.

“What?!” Sirius screeched.

The barber jumped back and gaped at them.

“I mean… _why_?” Sirius hissed in a lower voice.

“Because…I can’t have it this long for Quidd—I mean _football_. It’s too much to mess with. And I’m rubbish with untangling it…”

“But…” Sirius could feel his eyes watering.

_Do not cry….Do not cry…not at the sodding barber, you arse…_

“I think you’re the expert with long hair, mate...Maybe we should just keep it that way.”

Sirius stared at him in the mirror, chewing on his lip and going into a daze.

James’ hair. _James’ hair…_ Where to begin? It was one of the first things Sirius had noticed about him when they first met. A headful of soft brown curls you just wanted to rake your fingers through. Simply irresistible. And James knew it, too…because he couldn’t keep his _own_ hands out of it; always swiping it back or twisting his fingers in it. He was also highly aware of the effect it had on girls and how they'd swoon every time he touched it…And Sirius used to take every opportunity he could find to get his hands on it. All in covert ways, of course. A game of wrestling; picking real, and _imaginary_ , twigs out of it; ruffling it when James was particularly excited like if they’d just won a Quidditch match…He’d concocted a million different practical reasons to touch it and was always looking for more. Sometimes, he’d just sit and stare at it, wishing he could run his fingers through it, and that James actually _wanted_ him to…would even dare _ask_ him to. He’d admire the way the sunlight brought out the copper in the strands, or how dark and straight it was when wet and how similar it looked to his own. He’d even find reasons to lean over James just to get a whiff of it and feel weak in the knees. But he never in a million years thought he’d _actually_ have total access to that same hair…Could touch it pretty much whenever, and however, he wanted…

And so the thought of James _cutting_ it…simply made his stomach turn.

“Sirius?”

“Hmm?”

James shot him a look that said, _Are you okay with this?_

“If that’s what you want,” Sirius said in a strangled voice.

James nodded. “I think it’s for the best. And I can always grow it out again.”

Sirius licked his lips and nodded back, swallowing down the lump now lodged in his throat.

The barber sighed heavily. “Shall I get on with it then?” he asked irritably before pursing his lips and pushing his spectacles up his long nose. 

“Yes,” James replied. “To right here,” he said, motioning with his hands just below his ears.

Sirius held his breath.

“Is this oaky?” James asked.

“Yes, that’s okay,” he replied solemnly.

The barber glanced between them, looking as if he’d just swallowed a lemon, and then he held the scissors up and began to slowly cut James’ hair whilst muttering to himself under his breath.

Sirius watched the dark brown curls fall to the floor in horror, and without even thinking, he reached down and grabbed a handful. “Your mum will want these,” he said, shoving the hair into his pocket.

James just gaped at him for a moment, and then started chuckling, his face going beet red. 

But Sirius was too determined to be embarrassed. He wasn’t about to let that precious hair go to waste.

After some more torturous snipping and sighing, the barber took off James’ cape and laid it on the counter. “Alright, that will be five pounds a piece or ten for the pair."

James raked his hand back through his now shorter hair and stood up, confidently placing ten in the man’s hand with a tip, “Here’s for the both of us. And thanks!”

The barber nodded curtly and then they hurried out the door.

“Well, he was a bag of sunshine,” Sirius muttered, nearly grabbing his hand but then stopping himself.

“I know…but he’s _always_ cut mine and my pop’s hair…He’s just full of himself.”

Sirius went silent, peering up at him and getting a good look at his new do. It was different, but good. Whilst he did love it long, this was somehow more… _something_. How was it possible that James just kept getting more and more attractive? Sirius licked his lips and studied it. Yes, it was a bit longer than he used to wear it...Long enough to be slightly tucked behind his ears, but short enough to not have to be tied up, and he supposed it was the sensible thing to do; James certainly wouldn’t like maintaining it on the field...and returning to school with a new look, and getting even more female attention than usual, didn’t sound the least bit appealing to Sirius.

“I know you liked it longer, babe” James said, grabbing hold of his elbow and turning towards him, “but I don’t wanna have to deal with the up-keep…and besides, I just don’t think I can pull it off like you can…I’m just not as pretty.”

Sirius blushed furiously and started to smile, once again _elated_ that James cared so much about what he thought… _and_ that he’d called him _pretty_.

“I love it, Prongs. Anyway you wear it.”

James started to grin, obvious relief flooding his face.

“As long as I can have my hands in it…” Sirius said with a shrug, trying to play it cool.

James tugged him by the wrist and pulled him into an alleyway, promptly pushing him up against the brick wall and holding him there with his body. “And I _want_ your hands in it…all.the.bloody.time.”

Sirius wilted, momentarily forgetting how to breathe.

James clasped his neck between both large hands and stared down at him. “ _God_ , you’re so fucking beautiful.”

Sirius’ heart rioted. His mouth fell open slightly and he gripped onto James’ hips, squeezing and pulling him even closer. “So are you,” he murmured, sliding his hands up his chest, all the way to his glorious hair, which he greedily slipped his fingers into and claimed. 

***

~J~

“You’re gonna light yourself on fire, you git!”

“What?! I _know_ what I’m doing!”

“Bloody hell, do you _ever_ listen?”

“No.”

“Stand further back.”

“I will…I just gotta get it started…”

The firecracker came to life, flames bursting from the base, causing it to lift off the ground and shoot straight up into the sky. James grabbed Sirius by the arm, yanking him away from the thing, and they both toppled backwards and into the snow.

“I _swear_.”

“Hey, it worked! It’s fine. Look!” Sirius said.

They both looked up and watched as the firecracker burst into a shower of dazzling green and blue sparks, momentarily creating the outline of a very distinct stag and dog, before vanishing in a puff of smoke.

“What the fuck?” Sirius breathed, his mouth hanging open.

“I had it especially made!" James said excitedly. "Did you like it?”

“Yes!” Sirius replied with an incredulous expression. “Where did you get it?”

“I ordered it from the Zonko’s catalog. They were offering custom made firecrackers for New Year’s and I thought it’d be wicked.”

“Wow. That was bloody _brilliant!_ ” Sirius exclaimed, turning towards him as they lay in the snow. He grabbed a handful of James’ jumper and yanked him down hard, their bodies slamming together.

James just laughed and quickly found his lips.

“I love it…Thank you,” Sirius mumbled against his mouth.

“You’re welcome.”

James deepened the kiss, laying his entire body on top of him whilst clasping onto his face. 

“You’re quite feisty tonight, aren’t you?” Sirius said, pulling back to look at him.

“Maybe.”

“How about we do the sparklers then take this thing upstairs?”

“Sounds like a plan,” James said, a huge grin sliding up his face. “Mum and dad won’t be back from the party til’ _well after midnight,_ so we should have plenty of time.”

“Perfect.”

They pulled themselves up and dusted off the snow.

He handed Sirius a lit sparkler and then held his against it until it caught fire.

“I love these!” Sirius exclaimed, waving his around in circles and then up towards the starry sky. James lit another and handed it to him so he’d have two, and Sirius proceeded to dance around him with sparks flying, waving his hands all around as he just stood there, watching him in awe.

_This boy...I swear to god._

“C’mon, love. Light yourself another,” Sirius said grinning.

Soon, they both had two sparklers each and started dancing around each other and laughing like banshees.

“Ah!” Sirius yelped, dropping his sparklers on the ground.

James immediately rushed towards him. “What happened? Are you okay?” he asked, grabbing both of his hands and examining them.

“Yeah, I think one of the sparks just nicked me,” Sirius replied, turning his hands over.

James held them up to his mouth and placed a kiss on each knuckle, closing his eyes as he did, and when he opened them again, Sirius was smiling up at him with a dreamy expression, his cheeks rosy, “No permanent harm done,” he breathed.

“Still. Maybe you should steer clear of _fire_ ,” James said peering down at him, still holding his hands.

“Nah, let’s have another go. _Please?_ ” Sirius begged, doing his best pouty face—which of course James was powerless to resist.

“Oh, all right…but drop them _before_ the sparks get so close to your hands.”

“Yes, _daddy_ ,” Sirius replied, biting back a mischievous grin.

“I’ll get you for that later,” James said whilst lighting his sparkler, the flames dancing off his eyes.

Sirius swallowed hard.

***

~S~

After burning through all the sparklers and cleaning up their mess, they decided to go inside and “warm up”.

“Wait, we need to try mum’s chocolate cake first,” James said, grabbing Sirius by the bicep and yanking him back as he was heading for the stairs.

“Oh all right but let’s make it quick,” he huffed, wanting to hurry up and get on with the “warming.”

“I have an idea,” James said, a wicked glint in his green eyes.

“I’m listening.”

“What if I ate the cake…off of _you_.”

Sirius had to pick his jaw up off the floor. “Excuse me?”

“You heard me.”

“Okay, love, but you’d better know one helluva _cleaning spell,_ because otherwise, it might get a bit messy.”

“I do,” James said, sauntering towards him.

Sirius gulped hard, suddenly losing all feeling in his body. “Well, get the cake. Go on, love.”

“It’s behind you…on the counter.”

“Oh.”

James walked towards him, caging him against the cabinet with his body, his nostrils flaring and his eyes already heavy with desire. Sirius licked his lips and stared up at him, wondering if he were dreaming, and then James reached behind him and pulled the cake forward; he dug two fingers in and broke off a sizable chunk, and then smeared it down the side of Sirius’ face.

“Bloody hell!”

“What?”

“I didn’t know you were gonna do that!” Sirius screeched, his eyes wild.

James just smirked devilishly and then proceeded to lick the chocolate off his face whilst Sirius squirmed against him, nearly having a heart attack.

_Dear god!_

James smeared some more down the length of his throat and started sucking it off, his expert tongue getting every last morsel. The slurping noises were more than Sirius could bear; he dug his fingers into James’ arse and leaned his head back, panting. “Am…I…gonna…get a turn?”

“In a minute. First, take off your jumper…and trousers too while you’re at it.”

Sirius stared at him for a beat and then hastily pulled off his jumper and undershirt and slid off his trackie bottoms and socks, until he was standing in just his briefs in the middle of the bloody _kitchen_ , wondering if he appeared too eager.

“I don’t think I’ve ever seen you strip so fast,” James chuckled.

“I’ve never wanted to be naked so fast,” Sirius said flatly. “Why don’t you strip, too, so you don’t muss up your clothes?”

“Oh, alright,” James huffed, quickly licking the cake off his fingers before stripping down. “Okay, now lay on the floor,” he instructed.

Sirius just stared at him, his eyes widening. “Yes, sir,” he finally breathed, lying down and shivering when he felt the cold tile under his back.

And then James— _James fucking Potter_ —was smearing chocolate icing down his throat, chest, and abs, to the waistband of his briefs; down his inner thighs, and all the way to his ankles.

“Bloody hell,” Sirius gasped, nearly seeing stars, “are you trying to _kill_ me?”

“No, just _eat you_ ,” James growled, now hovering over him on all fours, squeezing his hips tightly between his thighs.

_Holy fucking shit._

Sirius clamped his eyes shut, and the next thing he felt was James’ hot lips making contact with the bare skin on his neck, laving up the trail of chocolate he'd smeared down his throat. He moved down further, kissing and sucking on his bare chest before hovering over his quivering abs. Sirius started writhing underneath him, clasping onto the tops of his shoulders with his hands and hissing garbled curses under his breath. 

“Almost there, baby,” James breathed, right over his lower belly, his hot breath tickling the skin.

Sirius covered his hands over his eyes and groaned.

_How is this real?! How is this fucking REAL?!_

James caught the waistband of his briefs between his teeth and tugged, causing Sirius to gasp and buck his hips up. “Hold steady,” James said, firmly clasping hold of his hips as he slowly began to lick down the inside of each thigh; down his shins, and finally, he placed a reverent kiss on each ankle.

“Forfuckssake!” Sirius bellowed, pulling at his hair and scrunching up his face, and when he opened his eyes again, James was smiling lazily down at him, darting his tongue out and licking the remaining chocolate off his lips.

_Holy Mother of Merlin—he’s a fucking chocolate god._

“My turn,” Sirius breathed, propping himself up on his elbows, his nostrils flaring.

***

~J~

James’ eyes widened in surprise, but he quickly lay down on the floor, wincing at how cold it was, and praying that he had in fact, remembered to shut the curtains.

_Too late now._

And then he watched in awe as Sirius proceeded to scoop some icing off the cake and smear it across his own lips. He then moved over him and knelt down, straddling his hips whilst on his knees, his blue eyes full of fire and his chest heaving, and just before James couldn’t take it anymore, Sirius leaned down and kissed him feverishly, spreading the chocolate all over his lips and inside his mouth with his tongue. James opened wider with a groan, wrapping his arms around his waist and pulling him fully down on top of him.

Sirius always tasted _divine_ …but a chocolate covered Sirius was another level entirely.

He was still getting his fill when Sirius abruptly pulled back and smirked down at him, his black hair shrouding his face and his eyes dark and glassy. “Hold still,” he purred, before promptly smearing a trail of chocolate down his stomach with his fingers.

James quivered from the sensation and shut his eyes, the anticipation almost more than he could bear.

Sirius painstakingly licked down his abs, stopping right before his briefs, and then, in one fell swoop, he yanked them down and grabbed hold of his cock, clutching it in his chocolate covered hand.

“Holy shit!” James yelped, bucking up.

“Too hard?”

“No…I… _holy shit_ …”

He looked down the length of his body, his heart rioting against his chest. The sight of Sirius, grabbing hold of him…the chocolate smeared everywhere…it was all just too much.

“Wait,” he breathed out, yanking his briefs back up and pushing himself to sitting, feeling as if his entire body were on fire. If they were gonna do this, they were gonna do it properly, bygod.

“What’s the matter?”

“Upstairs,” he grunted, grabbing Sirius by the biceps and yanking him up. He bent down and quickly gathered their clothes off the floor and shoved them into Sirius’ arms.

“And why must _I_ carry all this?” Sirius complained.

“Because _I’m_ gonna carry _you_ ,” James replied as he bent down and threw him over his shoulder. “ _And_ the bloody cake.”

Sirius laughed the whole way up the stairs, dangling over his shoulder like a child.

Once there, James tossed him unceremoniously on the bed and carefully sat the cake down on the dresser.

“But we’ll make a mess,” Sirius said, eyeing it wearily.

“Not in the shower."

“Oh.”

“Yeah…”

James started to grin.

“And just what _exactly_ are you planning on doing with that?” Sirius asked, still sitting on the edge of the bed, his eyes narrowed.

“I have ideas,” James replied just above a whisper. He sauntered towards him, relishing the look of panic in Sirius’ wide eyes.

He had no idea what he was going to do…except that it involved cake and both of them naked…

_Very naked._

“Like…what kinds of ideas?” Sirius asked in a strained voice, peering up at him.

“Like… _ideas_.”

~~~

The next day at breakfast, when Mrs. Potter asked what in the world had happened to the entire cake she’d left on the counter the night before, they just looked at each other and grinned wickedly, thinking they would never look at chocolate cake in quite the same way again. 

***

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 🔥🍰🍫😛🔥
> 
> This chapter was pretty much pure fluff and smut! But buckle up because it’s time to head back to Hogwarts! Change is on the way!🎉


	21. All Good Things

***

~J~

In what felt like only a blink, they had one more night left before returning to Hogwarts, and the unspoken fears and heart pains were already starting to set in.

Sirius had systematically chewed off all his fingernails and James had just about pulled out all of his hair from constantly raking it back with anxiety…But he wasn’t about to tell Sirius just how _nervous_ he really was. So far, Sirius had been the calm one out of the two of them, and James needed every ounce of reassurance he could get; his stomach twisted in knots every time he thought about keeping their relationship a secret. It was exciting, yes, but mostly scary. He’d never had to keep such a big secret in his life and was petrified of slipping up.

The thing was, same-sex relationships were not looked upon highly in the Muggle world _or_ the wizarding one…And one would think that magical folk would be more accepting of different lifestyles and modes of expression, but unfortunately, they could be just as prejudiced and small-minded as the Muggles.

And for the first time in James’ life, he was starting to feel the weight of it. 

He gripped onto Sirius’ arm and tugged him outside to the back garden, wanting to savor every last minute alone; the ground was still covered in snow but the sky was at least clear and the stars bright.

They sat down on the bench, holding hands, and silently gazed upwards.

James was pondering the holiday and all that had transpired in such a short amount of time. It was like a dream…From fighting with Sirius to realizing he loved him…to sharing a bed with him, kissing him, touching him…watching footie, stuffing their faces with pastries and fighting over the last scone; cooking like domestic idiots; Christmas Eve and New Year’s…now _those_ were two nights he’d _never_ forget.

Everything had just been so blissful that the reality of returning to school made him feel unsettled.

He sighed and strained his eyes, searching for a star he recognized.

***

~S~

Sirius was trying to put on a good front and be strong for James, but it was difficult. He wasn’t the least bit keen on going back to Hogwarts and having to keep their love a secret. But he had to be strong for him…because Merlin knew the abrupt separation was going to hit James the hardest.

He didn’t have _years of practice_ like Sirius did…

He thought back over the holiday and realized what he’d enjoyed the most was just doing the mundane things with James…Eating breakfast, teasing and laughing, touching and playing; snogging into the wee hours of the morning, until they were both delirious and their mouths were so sore they could barely talk; cuddling, showering, sharing clothes…

They hadn’t even thought twice about eating candy all night or looking at the Marauder’s map…There were far more _stimulating_ things to do now.

“What are you thinking about?” James asked, breaking the silence.

“Us. The holiday. All of it,” Sirius replied.

“Yeah, me, too,” James said wistfully, squeezing his hand.

He squeezed back. “I just don’t want things to change…”

“Me either. It’s been so bloody good. The best holiday _ever_.”

“What’s been your favorite part?” Sirius asked, turning towards him.

“Just _being_ with you…doesn’t matter what we’re doing…”

“Yeah, same here.”

“Hey, remember on New Year’s when you nearly lit yourself on fire?” James chuckled.

“Yeah,” Sirius said smiling, “Why?”

“It was just one of my favorite memories…”

“Well, I’m glad me nearly being a _human torch_ topped your list.”

“It’s what we did _after_ that’s near the top of my list,” James said in a low voice.

Sirius started to blush and squirm on the bench. “You mean the sparklers, or what we did with the _chocolate cake_?”

“Hmm, that’s a tough one,” James said biting his lip and furrowing his brows.

“Right.”

***

~J~

“Well, I don’t think we’ll be able to go at it quite that _loudly_ back at school,” Sirius said. “Not unless we’re in the Whomping Willow…Because if your parents hadn’t been at that party, I would have had to shove a sock down your throat, and maybe even smother you with a pillow, too.”

James just smiled dreamily and stared off into the distance.

“We really need to learn a good silencing charm,” Sirius said. “Lily’s an expert, isn’t she?”

James’ eyes widened, shocked that he would even consider her help.

“Yeah…she is. I guess I could ask her about it.”

“Good.”

“Who _are_ you and what have you done with _Sirius Black_? He's about yay high," James gestured with his hands, "jealous as fuck, and has the best arse in all the lands...”

Sirius snorted and stared down at their clasped hands. “Guess I’ve changed.”

“I’ll say!”

“But in a good way?”

James’ breath caught in his chest as he stared down at him, the absolutely adorable look on Sirius’ face nearly knocking him over. “Baby,” he breathed out, “in the _best_ way.”

Sirius grinned widely and stared back up at the stars.

And James just watched him in awe.

“Hey, there’s Sirius.”

“Where?”

“There,” Sirius said, pointing towards a particularly bright blue spot in the sky.

“So it is…but I think I’d prefer to have him in my bed.”

Sirius glanced at him sideways and smiled. “You think you can just sleep with a star?”

“I do every night.”

“ _God_ , such a romantic,” Sirius chuckled, squeezing his hand and shaking his head.

James just grinned. “C’mon, let’s enjoy our _last_ night together,” he said, suddenly feeling his emotions rise up his throat. He stood up and pulled Sirius along with him, and after a quick glance at the house, he leaned down and pecked his lips, a bolt of electricity shooting through him as he did. 

Sirius raised his dark brows in surprise. “Feeling risky tonight, are we?”

“Maybe.”

***

~S~

When they got up to the bedroom James shut the door behind them and leaned against it, staring at Sirius with smoldering eyes.

The lights were dim and the room felt heavy with anticipation.

Sirius stood by the bed and stared back at him, taking in his worn blue jeans and red plaid shirt that he referred to as his “lumberjack” attire; his tousled hair was perfectly swiped back, and his pink lips were slightly parted as he breathed in heavily.

He looked damn thirsty.

And Sirius knew _exactly_ what he was thirsty for.

***

~J~

James wished he knew what Sirius was thinking.

He certainly knew what _he_ was thinking.

He wanted to rip off Sirius’ jeans and grey hoodie, dig his hands into his perfectly mussy raven hair, and kiss those red lips until they were swollen. He wanted to feel him writhing underneath him and panting his name.

_One. Last. Time._

And as if reading his mind, Sirius started sauntering towards him, a sexy smirk playing at the corner of his irresistible mouth; his blue eyes dark with lust. He stopped right in front of him and clutched his shirt, tugging until their hips bumped together; and then he ran his hands up James’ chest and clasped them around his neck.

_Dear god._

James smirked down at him, his heart racing, and slipped his arms around his back. “Why does this feel like the _first_ time?” he leaned down and whispered by his ear, pressing their bodies even closer together and shivering.

“I dunno…maybe because it could be our _last_.”

“Don’t talk like that,” James huffed, pulling back. “This is just the beginning for us.”

They stared at each other for a beat and then he leaned down and kissed Sirius’ lips.

He savored the taste and tried to memorize the feel.

But how could you bottle perfection?

Sirius gripped his neck even tighter, opening fully to him, and pressing up on his toes.

And unable to resist, James slid his hands up under his hoodie and tugged up his undershirt, his fingers finally gripping onto Sirius’ warm, bare skin and feeling heaven.

_God, yes..._

Sirius grunted in response and sucked on his bottom lip, egging him on further.

_Merlin!_

James quickly started unfastening the top button of his jeans; his fingers fumbling as he did.

_Why am I so bloody nervous?!_

And when Sirius started to reciprocate, and un-do his jeans and tug them down off his hips, he felt positively faint.

They stood there in a daze, panting and staring at each other, until Sirius gripped him by the forearms and pulled him to the bed; he laid down on his back and James automatically moved to hover over him, his heart beating wildly against his chest.

Sirius licked his lips anxiously and stared up at him, his blue eyes intent.

And James simply wanted to devour him.

“ _Padfoot_ …” he breathed, his voice strained and his brows nearly touching in the middle.

“What is it, love?”

“Do you want… _more_?”

“What do you mean?’

“Like, do you want to _do_ more…than what we’ve been doing?”

Sirius scrunched his face in confusion.

“Like what?”

“Well, like _sex_?

“Oh…well, I kinda thought we already were.”

“Well, _orally,_ yes…but I meant…” James trailed off, swallowing hard, not even sure why he was bringing this up in the heat of the moment. 

“Oh…right…well…do you think we’re ready for that?”

“Yes,” he blurted out. “I mean, _maybe_ …I don’t know…But do you want to some day?”

“Well, yeah…I just figured we’d get to that when we were ready.”

James sighed, relief washing over him. “Okay, good. I just wanted to make sure.”

“Love, have you been worried about this?”

“Maybe,” he replied, averting his eyes and feeling his face grow hot.

“We can talk about anything…especially _that_. So don’t ever hold back,” Sirius said just above a whisper, stroking a curl out of his face and tucking it carefully behind his ear. 

James closed his eyes, his heart pounding fiercely, and not just because he was currently _straddling_ Sirius. “I just want to make you _happy_ …and it’s not that doing more wouldn’t make me happy as well…because _god knows_ it would…It’s just that I wanna make sure we’re both on the same page…”

He knew he was rambling. _God,_ only Sirius could make him act as if he'd just been blasted with a tongue-loosening spell.

“I understand, and I love you all the more for asking,” Sirius whispered, reaching his hands up and cupping his face. He stroked his thumbs lightly over his cheekbones, and James started to grin widely, his eyes lighting up.

_He wants it, too! Holy shit!_

“Now, where were we?” Sirius asked, quirking a brow.

“Right about… _here_ ,” James said, lowering himself down on top of him and pressing their lips together.

***

~J~

Eventually, they were both spooning contentedly and never wanting to leave the warmth of their bed or each other’s arms. It felt like home; their own private sanctuary away from the world. James did his favorite night-time ritual of burying his nose in Sirius’ hair and inhaling deeply before placing a kiss on the back of his neck. He pulled him in closer to his body and thought he heard a sniffle.

“Baby, are you crying?”

“Maybe.”

“What can I do to make it better?”

“Nothing. Jus’ hold me.”

James squeezed him tighter inside his arms and dug his fingers into his pajama top, gripping onto the fabric. “Did I ever tell you what my favorite memory of us is?” he whispered by his ear.

“No,” Sirius said with a sniff.

“Well, even more than chocolate cake and Christmas gifts…it was when you said you _loved me_.”

He felt Sirius stiffen in his arms, and after kissing the back of his neck again, he continued.

“When we were sitting right here on my bed, confessing all sorts of things…and I blurted out that I’d always loved you…and you said you’d always loved me…”

“I remember,” Sirius whispered.

James hugged him closer, feeling his own breath catch and his eyes well up.

“Don’t go gettin’ all soppy on me,” Sirius muttered.

James started to smile. “If you’re a mess, then I’m a mess,” he said, gripping his hip bone and squeezing playfully.

Sirius chuckled and nuzzled back against him. “This is our last night like this.”

James sighed. “Look, at this point, to hell with what Wormtail or Moony think, I’m fucking sleeping with you…no matter what.”

Sirius snorted and wriggled in his arms until they were facing. “Well, we should at least give them some sort of warning before just climbing into bed together.”

“Mmm, maybe,” James murmured, pressing their foreheads together and feeling sleep begin to pull him under.

“I love you,” Sirius whispered, slipping his hands up his chest and clutching onto his pajama collar, as if he might just slip away.

“I love you, too.”

And like magnets, their lips came together; first moving slowly, languidly, and then to a more desperate, frantic pace.

They clasped onto each other tightly and rolled under the sheets, with Sirius now on top, straddling his hips; his kisses were desperate, _pained_ , and James pushed back, trying to swallow all of his sadness.

But it still wasn’t enough.

He could feel the wetness in his own eyes.

Time was running out and there was nothing they could do to stop it.

***

~J~

At some point, they both passed out in a sweaty tangle, completely spent and unable to prolong the inevitable any longer.

At half past five they were awoken to the sound of James’ blaring alarm clock.

“Alrigh’, bloody hell. Shut up!” he cursed as he leaned over to smack the thing.

Sirius grumbled and snuggled closer to him, submerged under the mound of blankets with his head rested on James’ lower belly.

Suddenly, the bedroom door burst open and his mum was standing there, her hands on her hips and her eyes wild. “James! I was afraid you’d oversleep!” she screeched. “We’ve got one hour until we need to leave!”

He just stared at her in a daze, everything a bit blurry.

“Where’s Sirius?”

James flinched and propped himself up on his elbows, thanking the gods that Sirius was being perfectly still under the blankets. 

“Uh, he’s in the loo,” he croaked out.

“Okay, well get a move on it! You still need to eat breakfast and gather your things!” she said before promptly turning round and shutting the door.

James fell back on his pillows and sighed.

“Bloody hell,” Sirius rasped, lifting his head up from under the blankets with puffy, squinted eyes. “That was bloody close.”

“I know,” James said, throwing his arm over his face dramatically.

“Obviously, you forgot to lock the door.”

“Obviously,” James sighed. He sat up and snatched his wand off the nightstand, muttering a locking spell under his breath whilst flicking it towards the door. There was a faint clicking sound.

Sirius licked his lips and shot him a devilish grin before scooting back under the blankets.

“One last time?” James asked, squirming underneath him.

“With pleasure,” Sirius replied, starting to untie his pajama bottoms.

***

~J~

They quickly showered and finished packing up their last minute things, and right on time, Archimedes and Onyx showed up at the windowsill, tapping impatiently to be let in; they hopped into their cages and hooted begrudgingly as the doors were latched shut. James quickly gave them some licorice which seemed to improve their moods.

“Well, I think that’s the lot,” he said, looking around the bedroom and feeling his heart ache.

“I’m gonna miss this place,” Sirius said wistfully.

“Yeah, me, too,” James sighed. He walked over to him and gripped him by the shoulders, and then leaned down and kissed him squarely on the mouth, knowing it would probably be the last time for a good while.

“We can do this, love,” Sirius breathed after he’d pulled back.

“I know…we can make it through anything…as long as we’re together,” James said solemnly.

Sirius exhaled heavily, pressing his palms against his chest.

~~~

“You two eat up; it’ll be a while before you get lunch on the train,” Mrs. Potter said as she piled more pancakes onto their plates.

But they didn’t have much of an appetite. Their stomachs were too full of anxious butterflies, just clamoring to get out.

Eventually, they loaded up their trunks and owls and stared back at the house one last time before getting in the car.

“You two are so sad you’re gonna make me teary,” Mrs. Potter remarked, climbing into the front passenger’s seat.

“It was just a good holiday, mum…” James said rather miserably.

“Well, school will fly by and you’ll be back here for the summer before you know it,” she said smiling.

“Yeah,” he replied, staring out the window.

“And you’ve got Quidditch to focus on,” Mr. Potter said as he started the car.

“True,” Sirius chimed in.

~~~

Once at the station they entered platform nine and three quarters and were instantly surrounded by clouds of white smoke and students saying tearful goodbyes to their loved ones. They quickly hugged Mr. and Mrs. Potter goodbye, promising to write, and made their way towards the train.

After loading their trunks and owls aboard they headed straight to their cabin, figuring Remus and Peter were already waiting.

As they shoved their way through the crowded corridors James turned back and looked at Sirius, “You okay?”

“Yeah,” Sirius replied, trying to smile but looking rather sick.

They continued walking until they reached the sixth car. _Their_ car.

 _Here goes…_ James thought, his heart pounding.

Inhaling deeply, he walked up to the glass window and saw Peter and Remus sitting side by side and looking at a magazine. _Probably about rats,_ he thought with disdain. Clearing his throat, he sat down Archimedes’ cage and then slid open the door, stepping inside. 

“James!” Remus exclaimed jumping up from his seat. He lunged towards him and flung his arms around his neck. “Hi ya, mate! Long time no see!”

***

~S~

Sirius knew it was just Remus being friendly, but he couldn’t help the instant tinge of jealousy that ran up his spine.

_He's mine you bloody werewolf! Back off!_

He drug his trunk inside and just stood there, chewing on his lip.

“Well at least you two didn’t _kill_ each other!” Remus said, whacking him on the shoulder and nearly knocking him over.

And Peter just sat there, grinning like an idiot, darting his beady eyes back and forth. 

“Yeah, we managed,” Sirius croaked out, glancing up at James.

“Well, I barely heard from the two of you, so you must have had a pretty _busy_ holiday,” Remus remarked, sitting back down next to Peter.

They stowed their trunks and owls and then sat down in the opposite seat.

“Yeah, it was busy,” James replied, pursing his lips mischievously and looking slightly deranged. 

Sirius glanced sideways at him and noticed that he was about to crack. “How was yours?” he blurted out, trying to make up for James’ suspicious lack of words and reddening face. 

“Well, besides being locked in the basement by my parents, it was alright,” Remus replied grinning. “Can’t believe I’m actually looking forward to the _Shrieking Shack_ and spending the full moon with you lot,” he said with a chuckle.

“What about you, Wormtail? How was your holiday?”

“Oh, you know, lots of cheese…”

“Beg pardon?”

“Yeah, my parents opened a cheese shop and they let me work in it…I’ve learned all about the different kinds of cheeses and where they come from…” he droned on.

“Bloody hell,” James whispered, so only Sirius could hear. “I think Peter has been identifying with his rat Animagus a little _too much_. If I ever develop a taste for grass, just shoot me.”

Sirius snorted and continued to stare at Peter. He could see the boy’s mouth moving, but wasn’t really hearing a word he was saying. All he could think about was the heat rolling off of James’ body and the intoxicating smell of his shampoo, and how he wanted nothing more than to attack him. Get his hands up under his jumper and drag them down his six pack until he was begging for mercy...

He started to squirm and feel feverish at just the thought. Having to keep their relationship a secret certainly had the added benefit of increasing their _desire..._ He was already trying to devise a way to get him alone...

And then he felt a pair of sharp eyes on him.

He flicked his eyes up to see Remus, observing him questionably with furrowed brows.

Maybe he should try a little harder to tone down his lust, he thought. As shrewd as Remus was, he’d have them figured out by the end of the day.

_Bloody hell. This is going to be hard._

***


	22. Secrets

***

~J~

After catching up on all their holidays, it was finally time for lunch. The trolley cart rolled by and they loaded up on sweets and sandwiches and bottles of ice cold pumpkin juice.

“Ah, I’ve missed this stuff,” Sirius said, after taking a long swig from his glass bottle.

James glanced at him sideways, trying his best _not_ to gawk at the way his lips curved around the bottle, or the way his Adam’s apple bobbed up and down with each swallow…

He quickly averted his eyes and stared out the window.

_Do not think about him sucking your dick...do not think about him sucking your dick...SHIT._

“Yeah, it’s just one of those exclusive Hogwarts things, I suppose,” Remus said thoughtfully, looking at the bottle in his hand.

“My mum tried to brew some but it ended up tasting more like _cheese_ …but I didn’t really mind…” Peter said, nibbling on a string of red licorice.

They all just stared at him.

“ _Anyway_ , did you two make it to Diagon Alley for supplies?” Remus asked.

“Oh, um, yeah, we went last week,” James said, unable to contain the massive grin sliding up his face, immediately thinking of their _marks_. And then he thought of Sirius’ arse and turned positively scarlet.

“What?” Remus asked, raising his brows. “Oh Merlin, don’t tell me _Lily_ was there, too…”

“Huh? Oh, um, yeah, she was in fact…” he replied, trying to figure out why in the world Remus would ask about her.

***

~S~

“We ran into her and _Snivellus_ at Flourish and Blotts,” Sirius chimed in, clutching the edge of the seat and trying not to grimace—clearly, Remus still thought James was panting after her. 

“Oh, and how’d that go?”

“Fine,” James said, a little too quickly.

“Look, James, if you’re still sweet on her, _fine_ , but just don’t be so bloody coy about it. If you’re gonna make us continue to suffer, then at least give us some proper warning.”

James just sat there with his mouth hanging open.

Sirius cleared his throat loudly and turned to look at him.

“Uh, yeah well, I’m over Lily now, so you won’t have to worry about that.”

“What?! _Really_? What brought this on?” Remus asked with wide eyes.

“Just time…and _realizations_. I was a git for chasing her so long. And besides, clearly she prefers _bats_ ,” James said with a sniff.

And Sirius’ heart sunk.

Whilst he appreciated the fact that James was openly admitting to not fancying Lily anymore, he wished he could say _why_ he didn’t care for her, and not make it sound as if he gave up the chase simply because she preferred Snivellus instead. But then again, telling the truth would mean divulging their relationship, and he wasn’t sure _now_ was the time...

James looked over at him expectantly, but all Sirius could do was purse his lips and look out the window.

“Well, I guess I’ll believe it when I see it…” Remus sighed, crossing his arms over his chest and leaning back in his seat.

“Speak of the devil,” Peter muttered under his breath, and they all followed his gaze to the door.

It was Lily, standing in the corridor, looking anxious.

Remus immediately jumped up and slid open the door.

“Lily! Hi! To what do we owe this pleasure?”

 _Wow, Moony’s really laying it on thick…_ Sirius thought to himself, his lip curling up slightly.

“Hi! Um, the Prefect meeting?”

“Shite!” Remus exclaimed loudly. “Sorry, um, I mean I totally forgot,” he said in a lower voice, turning red all the way to the tip of his nose.

_Not him, too! For Christssakes..._

“That’s okay,” Lily chuckled. “We can walk together.”

Remus just stood there with his mouth hanging open, catching bats, and then Peter started snickering.

Remus immediately closed his mouth and turned back to glare at him before exiting the compartment.

Lily paused before leaving and smiled pointedly at James through the glass.

James smiled back, seeming surprised. 

And Sirius watched the exchange with narrowed eyes, his heart beating faster.

“Well, I think I’m gonna go to the _loo_ ,” James said, abruptly standing up and stretching. 

Sirius gaped up at him, confused.

And then James’ lips twitched into a suppressed smirk, and the reality dawned on him—he wanted him to follow.

_He wants to be with me!_

Peter huffed and resumed reading his magazine.

Sirius watched James slip out of the compartment and disappear down the hallway. He waited a few moments and then stood up. 

“I’m gonna go get some more Pumpkin Pasties from the trolley. Do you want anything?”

“No, I’m good,” Peter replied, his face hidden behind the magazine.

And Sirius could barely contain his giddiness as he left the compartment and started walking.

He knew what was coming.

And he could barely keep it in his pants.

***

~J~

James paced back forth in the tiny bathroom and prayed to god Sirius found him. He literally picked the last loo in the last carriage of the train.

Maybe he should have told him which one he was going to…

 _Shit,_ he thought raking his hands back through his hair.

He’d just been too intent on getting him alone to even think straight. He couldn’t even make it a few bloody hours on the train...

_So much for having self-control._

***

~S~

Sirius tapped on the first door he came to but it was empty, then the second, and then the third, and he was starting to get upset, but then it dawned on him— _knowing James_ , he’d go straight for the safest loo—the literal _last one_ on the train.

He shoved past a group of giggling second years that gawked at him and a slow-as-fucking-molasses trolley cart, when he suddenly came face to face with his younger brother, Regulus, who was already clad in his green and black Slytherin robes. They both stared at each other for a beat, the tension palpable. Regulus nodded hastily, his dark eyes inscrutable, and Sirius shoved past him without a word, anger already boiling in his veins. He tried to shove down the memories of Regulus and his pet house elf, Kreacher, taunting and berating and torturing him for years; and he tried to shove down the blatant pride his parents displayed only for Regulus…The way they doted on him… _Loved_ him.

But he couldn’t.

It was an impossible door to close.

He shook his head and pressed on, determined to find James—the one person that could always pull him from his dark thoughts.

Finally, he arrived at the last bloody loo, in the _last_ bloody carriage, and took a deep breath.

He knocked lightly.

“Yeah?”

He knew that voice. He’d know it fucking anywhere. He shoved open the door and flung himself inside, turning the lock behind him with a click.

James just stood there with his mouth hanging open and his green eyes wide with surprise, and before he could say a word, Sirius lunged for him and they hit the opposite wall hard with a thud. He smashed his lips against James’ whilst clutching his face tightly between his palms, all dark memories suddenly vanishing from his brain.

All that existed was that _mouth_.

James groaned and wrapped his arms around him, sliding his hands down his back and gripping onto his arse, pulling him up into himself forcefully and grinding against him.

Sirius melted, his heart raging, and then suddenly they were hugging fiercely, holding each other tight, and he never wanted to let go.

“Baby…” James breathed by his ear, his hot breath lighting every cell in his body on fire.

“I know…” Sirius replied.

“This is so fucking hard…”

“I know…just kiss me,” Sirius said, pushing up on his tip-toes and straining for his mouth. Once their lips made contact he slid his hands down James’ chest, all the way to his trousers. He flicked the metal latch of his belt open and jerked the thing off, tossing it aside with a clatter.

“Christ!” James hissed, tilting his head back against the wall and covering his eyes with his hands.

Sirius gripped onto his thighs and slid down to the floor, taking James’ trousers with him. He stared up at him and swallowed hard before yanking down his briefs, all the way past his knees. James cursed again and dug a hand into Sirius’ hair, entwining his fingers and tugging hard.

“I’ve got you, love,” Sirius purred before rising up on his knees and sliding him into his mouth, clutching onto his hips as he did.

“Fuck!” James yelped, clamping his eyes shut and writhing against the wall.

But Sirius never broke his focus…

Not until James was stiffening and releasing all that he had.

Not until he’d drunk his fill of him...if that were ever really possible.

“Bloody hell,” James panted, his face now covered in a sheen of sweat. His legs started to give out and Sirius quickly jumped up and gripped him under the arms, trying to hold him up, but he was too much dead weight and slid all the way down to the floor.

“The floor's probably filthy, love.”

“Right,” James breathed, staring up at him with glassy eyes and a look of amazement. 

Sirius leaned down and kissed his lips softly. “See, we can still make this work,” he whispered, raking James’ sweaty hair back from his face.

There was a knock on the door and they both flinched. Sirius moved towards it but James grabbed him by the wrist and pulled him back down.

“Gonna be a bit, mate! Try another loo!” James hollered.

Sirius just chuckled and shook his head.

“Now, I think it’s someone else’s turn,” James said, standing back up unsteadily and pulling him along with him.

“Love, you don’t have to…really…”

“Baby…It’s been one of my _fantasies_ to go down on you in a public loo… _Especially_ on a train. Now, are you gonna deny me that pleasure?”

“No,” Sirius replied sheepishly, suddenly unable to look at him.

“Look at me,” James whispered.

Sirius flicked his eyes up, immediately feeling his cheeks burn.

James cupped his face tenderly and stroked his thumb across his cheekbone. “Who caught the stars and put them in your eyes?” he murmured.

And Sirius just stared at him, dumbfounded.

“Sorry, it just popped into my brain,” James chuckled.

“You’re a poet,” Sirius breathed, clutching onto his wrists as James held his face. “I wouldn’t expect anything less.” He pushed up on his toes and kissed his lips.

James sighed and gripped onto his biceps, turning them round and pressing him firmly against the cool metal wall.

Sirius gulped and stared up at him.

“Ready?” James breathed.

“Ready,” he replied, not sure if he could ever be fully _ready_ for James Potter to suck his dick...

Some things in life you could just never get used to.

James ran his hands down his chest and slowly started undoing his belt, and Sirius desperately wanted to help him and get the blasted thing off even faster, but he abstained, not wanting to appear as crazed or as desperate to be in his mouth as he felt.

_God, if he only knew._

Was it _normal_ to imagine getting a blowjob nearly every minute of every day? Was it _normal_ to get hard from just staring at someone’s mouth?

James unzipped his fly and then slipped his hands inside his trousers, tugging them off his hips and down over his arse.

Was it _normal_ to want to push someone to their knees?

Sirius scrunched his eyes shut and prayed for more self-control.

***

~J~

By the time they got back to the cabin, Remus had already returned from his Prefect meeting, his eyes widening considerably as he took in their sweaty faces and disheveled appearances.

“Get lost? Fall in a lake?”

“Erm…no,” James said, staring at the ground, his heart pounding.

“Where’re the Pumpkin Pasties?” Peter asked, eyeing them suspiciously.

“Oh, um, they were all out,” Sirius said with a shrug, not sounding very convincing.

“Right…I _know_ what you two have been doing,” Peter said smugly.

“What?” they both yelped in unison.

“Playing pranks on Snivellus…and you didn’t bother to invite _me_ …again,” Peter pouted.

They both visibly relaxed and sat down on the bench seat.

“You’ve caught us,” James said, smiling with relief and holding up his hands.

“Yeah…we got some new gags for Christmas and thought we’d try them out. Maybe we’ll show them to you sometime,” Sirius said.

Peter just rolled his eyes and resumed reading his magazine.

“So you still have it out for Sniv—I mean Severus?” Remus asked.

“Yeah, why wouldn’t we?

“Well, I just thought since you weren’t after Lily anymore…”

“Yeah, well that doesn’t mean we can’t still torture the _greasy git_ …He's a toerag.”

“Exactly,” Sirius said, chiming in whilst wiping the sweat off his forehead.

Remus just pursed his lips and shook his head.

They spent the rest of the train ride trying _not_ to smile like a couple of drunken ghouls who’d just had a wild romp in the loo. But that proved rather difficult, especially because every time James closed his eyes, all he could see was Sirius with his pants down.

***

~S~

“We’re here!” Peter exclaimed jumping up from his seat.

“ _Really_ , Wormtail? I never would have guessed,” Sirius said, rolling his eyes and raking his hair back.

_Why are we friends with him, again?!_

“Hey! I know what’s different about the two of you!” Remus exclaimed, making them nearly fly off their seats.

“What?”

“Your hair!” he said. “James, yours is a bit longer, and Sirius, yours looks less like a wild dog’s, and more like a human’s!”

Sirius nearly swallowed his own tongue. “Wow, Moony…and I thought you were _observant_ ,” he choked out, shaking his head, still not entirely sure what he meant about him actually looking _human_ now.

“You just _now_ noticed, Moony?” James scoffed.

“Yeah, I knew something was different, but I just couldn’t put my finger on it.”

_Thank god Moony’s dumber than we thought…_

***

~S~

The castle was bustling with excitement when they arrived, and as they walked into the Great Hall and towards the Gryffindor table, Sirius couldn’t help but notice all the hungry stares that James was getting, and he wasn’t sure if it made him feel better or worse knowing that James was officially _his_ now.

They sat down at the table, listened to the long-winded welcoming speeches, and then dug into the heaps of food piled high on golden servers.

“I have missed the treacle pudding,” James said with a mouthful, making an absolute mess of himself.

Sirius smirked at him and was just about to raise his finger and wipe the corner of his mouth, when he stopped himself. Instead, he just looked at him and kept licking his own mouth as a hint. James grinned widely with chocolate covered teeth and Sirius burst out laughing. Everyone around them turned to look with raised brows, but James just wiped his mouth and took a swig of pumpkin juice, playing it cool.

Towards the end of the meal, James yawned and rubbed his eyes, turning to look at Sirius expectantly, lightly caressing his thigh under the table like a child wanting attention. Sirius turned towards him, his heart immediately melting as he gazed up into those big, sleepy, green eyes. He knew what James wanted. The same thing _he_ wanted—to go to bed and snog and cuddle like they always did. His heart started to race at the thought of it. _But how?_ he wondered. Remus had been watching them like a hawk ever since the train ride, and he just wasn’t sure it would be the right thing to do, especially on their first night back...

“I think it’s time to call it a night,” Remus said before covering his mouth and yawning. “We’ve got lessons tomorrow.”

“Don’t remind me,” Peter huffed.

“C’mon, let’s go,” Remus said, pulling Peter up and pushing him through the crowd of students now moving down the center aisle. James and Sirius got up as well, covertly brushing their hands together and grinning sleepily as they went.

When they got up to their room they found their trunks already stowed at the foot of their four-posters.

Thank _god_ their beds were next to each other; though, not sharing the same one would still feel like worlds apart...

Sirius was already trying to think of a way to get in James’…but even with a silencing charm, it wouldn’t work…if they fell asleep together, chances were they’d still get caught in the morning. 

***

~J~

When they went to the bathroom James nearly got in Sirius’ shower and ruined their cover, but thankfully, he stopped himself and used the one next to Sirius' instead, cursing under his breath the entire time.

And when Sirius walked out in nothing but a white towel slung low off his hips, showing off his perky arse and his dripping wet abs, James’ heart nearly stopped. He took a shaky inhale and walked over to the sinks to comb his hair out, suddenly remembering the last time it had been in a tangle and how Sirius had sat on the bed and patiently combed it out for him...

They certainly couldn’t do _that_ now.

Next, he tried to put the toothpaste on his toothbrush but his hands were shaking so badly he was having a rough time of it.

Sirius appeared next to him, smelling like a fucking god, and placed his hand lightly on his forearm. “It’s okay, love,” he whispered.

James exhaled through his nose and closed his eyes.

“God, this is hard,” he whispered, swallowing back his tears.

“I know, but it’ll get better.”

“How?” he whined.

“I don’t know…but it just will. This is only the _first day_.”

James shoved the toothbrush in his mouth, brushing vigorously and dripping white foam into the sink like a mad dog; when what he really wanted to do, was rip Sirius’ towel off, drop to his knees and swallow his cock in the middle of the fucking bathroom floor.

A shiver of anger went up his spine.

He spit in the sink and rinsed his mouth out before abruptly turning around and walking away.

***

~S~

Sirius watched James go with worried eyes, his stomach twisting in a knot.

_Fuck._

_He’s taking this worse than I thought…_

When he got back to the room, James was already laying in his bed, staring up at the canopy ceiling with a deep frown, his wet curls fanned out on his pillow.

And Sirius’ heart ached.

He wanted to go and drape himself on top of him, inhale the crook of his neck and feel his heart beating against his chest; snog him until sunrise. 

_"Shit,”_ he muttered.

James’ eyes darted towards him and he narrowed his gaze.

Remus and Peter crawled into their own beds, saying their _goodnights_ , and Sirius reluctantly walked over to his own, pulling back the covers, and climbing inside; he turned to his side and faced James.

James turned to his side as well and mouthed, “I love you,” in the semi-darkness.

Sirius mouthed it back, his heart throbbing, before reaching over and turning off the lamp. 

But he could still _feel_ James staring at him.

Sighing deeply, and feeling painfully alone for the first time in a month, he closed his eyes and prayed for sleep.

And at some point during his restless night, he could have sworn he felt a pair of warm, familiar lips pressing against his forehead… 

But it was probably just a dream.

***

  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *cries in a cool way* 😩😢😭


	23. Back in the Groove

***

~S~

The next morning came much too early.

After their long day of traveling Sirius wanted nothing more than to sleep late…preferably in _James’ arms._

He sat up in bed and yawned, his hair sticking out in all directions from tossing and turning all night, and stared at James’ bed; he could just make out his form, nearly hidden under the maroon and gold comforter.

_He never shut his curtains..._

Remus’ alarm clock started buzzing and James rolled over with a grunt, now facing him; he opened his eyes, a sleepy grin immediately sliding up his gorgeous face.

And Sirius’ heart fluttered.

“Hi,” James mouthed with squinted eyes.

“Hi,” he mouthed back.

~~~

Eventually, they all made it down for breakfast, and even despite his complete exhaustion, Sirius could barely contain his excitement.

_We survived our first night!_

It felt like some kind of monumental triumph.

He watched dreamily as James shoved a stack of syrupy waffles in his mouth, wishing he were the fork. James smiled at him goofily, syrup dripping down his chin, and Sirius thought he’d never looked more desirable.

_Dear god!_

He placed his hand on top of James' thigh under the table and squeezed, causing James to start choking, his eyes going wide.

Remus looked between them questionably before taking a swig of his pumpkin juice.

And then James placed his hand on top of Sirius’ and squeezed back, swallowing down his waffles.

“Hey, James!” Frank Longbottom said, suddenly appearing out of nowhere and smacking him on the back. Sirius jumped a foot and promptly smashed James’ hand against the underside of the table, nearly breaking all the bones.

James winced, his eyes bugging out and starting to water. “Hey, Frank,” he said in a strained voice, his face reddening.

“You okay, mate?”

“Yeah, just smashed my hand,” he said, setting it on top of the table and flexing his fingers.

Sirius grimaced and stared down at his plate, his face as hot as a furnace.

“Oh, well I was just wondering when we’re gonna start practice?”

“Huh?”

“Quidditch?”

“Oh, blimey…right. I hadn’t even thought about it…um…”

Sirius kicked him hard under the table and James shot him a confused look.

“I think what James _means_ …is that we’ll start practice _today_ ,” Sirius said narrowing his eyes at him, trying to convey the message.

Frank looked between them, furrowing his brows, clearly trying to understand the exchange.

“I’m sure all the _other_ Houses start _today..._ so of course, _we_ will, too,” Sirius said slowly.

“Right,” James chimed in, blinking rapidly and looking back up at Frank, “of course we will…so spread the word to all the other Gryffindor players. We’ll meet at four o‘clock on the field.”

“Sounds good, mate! I can’t wait to get back at it!” Frank said before turning and walking away.

“What was all _that_ about?” James leaned in and whispered by Sirius’ ear.

Sirius shivered at their close proximity but tried to keep his cool. He turned and looked in James’ eyes, but that didn’t help in the least—they were like two fucking pools of endless green light. “Look, we _always_ start practice the first day we get back…I figured you’d remember that.”

He watched the comprehension dawn on James’ face as he raked his fingers back through his hair and swallowed. “Bloody hell, you’re right…we do. I just completely forgot.”

“It’s okay lo—I mean _mate_ …You’ve had a lot on your mind lately,” Sirius said starting to grin, desperately wanting to hug him…get his fingers in his hair, _kiss those parted lips_ …But instead, he just averted his eyes and swallowed down his feelings.

_Suppress it. Just suppress it..._

But James just kept staring at him intently, possibly fighting the same battle.

“What’s going on?” Remus asked, breaking the silence.

“Uh, I just forgot to schedule practice for today is all…I’m a _git_ ,” James said with a shrug, turning back to his plate.

“No harm, no foul,” Remus replied, smiling and then darting his eyes back and forth between them, his impenetrable stare like a laser.

“Blimey!” Peter exclaimed making them all jump.

“What is it _now_ , Wormtail?” Sirius sighed.

“We have Potions first and it says on the schedule to arrive _fifteen minutes_ early today.”

“What?” Remus yelped dropping his fork.

“On the schedule,” Peter said pointing at the piece of parchment with his short, stubby finger.

“Bollocks,” James cursed.

They all jumped up and flew down to the dungeons, and every time they passed through a crowd, Sirius grabbed James’ forearm and squeezed, feeling like such a rebel and making James grin like an idiot.

They burst through the dungeon door in a tangle and all eyes turned to look at them.

“Let me handle this,” James whispered. He raked his fingers back through his hair and cleared his throat, walking straight towards a gaping Professor Slughorn, as if he had all the confidence in the world—which, in Sirius’ opinion, he _did_.

James wore his best winning smile and reached out a large hand to shake the professor’s.

“Sorry we’re late, Professor, but we missed the bit about arriving _early_. I hope you had a good holiday!” he said, his smile large and charming.

“Yes, yes _indeed_ ,” Slughorn replied, blinking rapidly and then beaming up at him, his greedy eyes glittering with delight.

Sirius rolled his eyes dramatically and then slammed his books down on the desk, nearly making Peter piss his pants.

“No need to worry young chaps, no need to worry!” the Professor said. “I merely wanted everyone here early to discuss a little get together I’ll be having…a little _club,_ if you will…for the brightest and most outgoing students, _of course_. We’ll just be having some dinner parties every now and again to discuss academics and… _aspirations_ ,” he said, staring pointedly at James and grinning. “Anyhow, if you’re interested, I’ve got a sign-up sheet right here…So don’t hesitate to put your name down at the end of the lesson…Well, now, I think that’s the gist of it, so let’s get on with potions, shall we!”

Sirius nudged James in the side and shot him an accusatory glance.

“What?” James hissed.

“You _know_ what. That _slug_ wants you as a pet.”

“Bloody hell, are you _jealous_ of _Slughorn_ now, too? Because balding and portly isn’t really my type…”

“No… _maybe_ …I don’t know, but he needs to keep his greedy paws off of you,” he hissed by his ear. “You know how he likes to _collect_ people. And now with his little parties, he’ll be sure to corner you.”

“And make me do _what_ exactly?” James asked exasperatedly, flipping through his potions book.

“I don’t know… _worship_ him.”

“Oh, _calm down_! I’m not joining his stupid club anyway.”

Sirius huffed, nearly breaking a glass vile in two from squeezing it so hard. “I’m not _un-calm_ ,” he hissed.

Remus turned back to look at them, shooting a “be quiet, or else!” glare, to which Sirius just rolled his eyes and sighed.

And then he noticed James, closely observing Lily and Snivellus as they canoodled shamelessly a few rows up.

Sirius narrowed his eyes, his heart beating faster.

_What the hell? Does he still fancy her? Is he jealous?!_

So many thoughts flooded his brain.

It was truly amazing how quickly he could feel insecure about their relationship...even after all they’d said and done.

And deep down, he couldn’t help but wonder what James saw in him anyway.

_Of course he’d prefer Lily over me…what was I thinking?! God, I’ve been living in such a delusion…_

***

~J~

James glanced over at Sirius and his breath caught in his chest—there was so much pain on his face.

_What’s happened? Why is he acting like that? Did I do something?!_

Things were already getting complicated…

And it was only their _first_ class.

_Shit._

Sirius continued to ignore him for the rest of class, and when it was over he promptly packed his things and was the first one out the door.

James scrambled to catch up with him and was just shoving his book in his bag when he heard his name called.

“James! James!”

“Yes, professor?”

“I noticed you didn’t add your name to my little _list_ ,” Slughorn said, holding out the parchment with gleaming eyes.

“Oh, um…it’s just, I’m not sure if I’ll be able to make it…what with _Quidditch_ practice and all.”

“Oh, my dear boy! No need to worry about that! No need at all! I’ll _always_ schedule around important House activities. The meetings will be on quite a _flexible_ schedule; it’s very important to me that all my _favorites_ can attend.”

“Oh,” James said flatly, feeling his stomach tighten. He took the parchment and hastily scribbled his name down with a quill.

“Brilliant! And you can bring a date, too! It will be a jolly good time! Pass the word on to Remus as well! He’s going places, I think,” Slughorn whispered with a cheeky wink.

“Okay, I will…”

“I’ll send word to you when the first get-together is,” he said beaming.

“Right, okay well I’ll see you, professor!”

James rushed out the door, hoping he could still catch up with everyone, when he ran smack into Sirius.

“I thought you’d left me!” he blurted out.

“No…I was going to…but…”

“What’s wrong?”

Sirius slumped against the wall and exhaled, his blue eyes glassy.

“ _Please_ , talk to me…”

Sirius looked up and smiled sadly and James felt like his heart was being squeezed in a vice. “We need some place private,” he said, grabbing him by the forearm and dragging him down the empty corridor.

The first thing he spotted was a broom cupboard.

_This will just have to do…_

He flung open the door and pulled Sirius inside behind him, crashing into buckets and mops and nearly letting out a scream when he felt a spiderweb on his face.

He held his wand up and conjured a blue light at the tip.

“Okay, let’s have it,” he breathed.

Sirius exhaled and averted his eyes.

“Okay, clearly words won’t do,” James said, and abruptly grabbed him by the shoulders and smashed their lips together, pulling him against his body, not even trying to stifle the hungry groan welling up in his chest.

He needed this more than he’d realized.

_So much more._

Sirius stiffened at first, but then melted into his arms and surged against him just as desperately.

_Sweet Jesus, mother of Merlin and all things merciful!_

James was standing in a bucket, surround by filthy mops and covered in cobwebs, but he couldn’t have cared less.

Not when Sirius was in his arms.

He ran his hands down to his arse and squeezed tight, relishing the sound that came out of Sirius’ mouth and the way he arched up into him. “Bloody hell…I thought I’d _die_ if I didn’t get to kiss you soon,” he panted by his ear, running his unsatisfied hands all over his body.

Sirius just clutched onto his biceps and stared up at him, looking faint.

“What happened? Did I do something wrong?” James asked.

“I…I just saw the way you were watching Lily and Snivellus…and I got jealous,” Sirius blurted out, hanging his head. “I guess I haven’t changed as much as I’d thought…”

“What?!” he spat, completely gobsmacked, and then he started to snicker. “You absolute _git_. I was just observing how _friendly_ they were towards each other…Not lamenting over lost love! Christ, what do I have to do to prove that I love you, and _only you_?”

Sirius chewed on his bottom lip for a moment and then flicked his eyes back up. “I think it’ll just take some time…I didn’t realize how _insecure_ I was about us…”

James smiled down at him, utterly endeared.

_My sweet little insecure canine...God._

“Baby, I love you. I love you, I love you, _I love you_ …” he crooned, pulling him closer and whispering in his ear. “And I know those are just words, but I’ll keep saying them until I have none left…and I’ll keep proving to you with my _actions_ that _I truly mean them_.”

Sirius sniffled. “Thanks, love. I guess I just needed to hear that...And I love you, too,” he whispered, pulling back to look at him.

James wiped the wetness from under his eyes with his thumbs and reverently kissed each side of his face, and then finally, his lips. 

“Don’t ever doubt how I feel about you…I might be an insensitive arsehole sometimes, and you can hate me for it…but don’t ever doubt my _love_.”

“Okay, I won’t,” Sirius breathed, starting to smile.

“I mean, you’re practically tattooed on my _cock..._ ”

“That is true,” Sirius chuckled, wrapping his arms around his back and pressing his face against his chest.

James hugged him tight, his heart swelling to capacity. “Everything would seem better if we could at least sleep together,” he said, closing his eyes. “I hardly slept at all last night…It was _hell_.”

“I know…me, too,” Sirius sighed. “We’ll work it out…I just wanna keep gauging Remus’ reaction. I can tell he’s suspicious of something, but I wanna see if he’ll come to the conclusion on his own…”

“Well, maybe we should give him some kind of timeline or something…Just so I have a date to live for.”

Sirius squeezed him tighter. “Okay…how about a month?”

“A month?! Are you _crazy_? I can’t wait that long. A week and that’s _final_.”

“Okay, okay, a _week_ ,” Sirius chuckled.

“And until then, we might have to devise some sort of covert plan.”

“Okay, love. We’ll work on it.”

The corridors suddenly filled with the sounds of students, rushing to their next lesson and making them both flinch.

James quickly found Sirius’ mouth one last time and kissed him until they were both breathless, but far from sated. He gripped him firmly by the shoulders and held him at arm’s length. “We can do this,” he said determinedly.

Sirius nodded.

Unable to restrain himself, he pecked his lips one more time before cracking the door open and smoothly joining the flow of traffic.

~~~

They were completely oblivious to the goofy grins plastered on their faces and the constant little touches and secret caresses they kept giving each other as the day went on.

But someone else _did_ notice.

Remus was watching their every move like a hawk.

***

~S~

After lessons were over they headed down to the locker rooms to change for Quidditch practice, and Sirius had to stare hard at the floor when James walked by in nothing but a pair of tight, white trousers. His heart started racing and he tried to swallow down the heat steadily growing upwards from his groin—the infamous _ache_ that only James could satisfy—but that was like trying to contain a rupturing volcano.

_Bloody hell. This is torture._

They walked onto the field and James promptly gave orders for drills, and it was all Sirius could do to even look at him. Of course he’d seen him in his uniform a thousand times…and every time it was painful, but now…now he was _his_ …and he could actually imagine snogging him in said uniform…for _real_.

James glanced at him and started to smile, then quickly looked away.

Sirius swallowed hard and mounted his broom, wondering how he’d ever be able to keep his concentration with James looking like that…

“Let’s go!” Remus yelled, already hovering in the air above him.

Sirius quickly soared upwards, nearly falling off his broom when James chucked the Quaffle at him. “Get your head in the game, Padfoot!” he hollered, grinning broadly.

Sirius smiled devilishly and chucked it right back.

~~~

“Great practice everyone!” James said, wiping the sweat off his brow and breathing hard. “Same time tomorrow—see you then!”

They walked back to the locker rooms with brooms in hand and drenched in sweat even despite the frigid temperatures.

Sirius plopped down on the wooden bench, completely exhausted and sore and suddenly noticed James, peeling his clothes off and stripping down to his briefs.

His mouth fell open.

And when James turned around and saw his face, he grinned like the devil himself.

Remus walked to his locker between them and they both immediately turned away and acted busy.

 _Well, that didn’t look suspicious at all_ , Sirius thought, rolling his eyes. He tried to think about anything _except_ James being naked in the shower…anything _except_ the water dripping down his bare, chiseled abs…but it just wasn’t working.

He’d had a hard-on since the broom cupboard and it wasn’t getting any better.

_Shit._

***

~J~

They walked back to the castle for supper and all James could think about was getting Sirius alone so he could snog him senseless. Every part of his body was aching for him; their little tryst in the broom cupboard had just made things about a thousand times worse. 

To say he was _hard_ was an understatement…

Rocks were probably softer.

And then when they sat down at the table, Sirius had the _audacity_ to hook his ankle around his calf, nearly making him spill soup down his jumper. In retaliation, he promptly ran his hand up Sirius’ thigh, stopping just before his groin, observing the very satisfying way Sirius tensed and squirmed, his eyes bulging. 

They needed some place private and _fast_.

After inhaling their supper and barely speaking, they both stood up and made some kind of unintelligible excuse to Peter and Remus as to why they were skipping dessert, and then they ran straight up to Gryffindor tower like they were still twelve years old and up to no good, which in fact, they _were_.

Once arrived, they both stared at each other, panting wildly. James locked the door and then walked straight towards Sirius, promptly gripping him by the shoulders and pushing him back onto the nearest bed. Sirius just grunted and gripped a handful of his jumper, pulling him down on top of him and straining for his mouth.

“Baby, I’m gonna swallow every last drop of you…” James breathed.

“Oh _god_ …” Sirius groaned.

~~~

“I’m gonna sleep with you tonight…” James murmured, as they lay in each other’s arms, finally sweaty and satisfied, “even if it’s just for a few hours...”

“What happened to waiting a week for Remus?”

“To hell with Moony. I can’t do this anymore. It’s literally going to _kill me_.”

Sirius just grinned and closed his eyes. “I should probably get up,” he muttered, groggily propping himself up on James’ chest. “They could be back any minute.”

“Yeah, yeah.”

Sirius rolled off of him, pulled his pants back on, and padded over to his own bed where he collapsed.

James sighed in frustration.

 _There has to be a way to make this work_...

Just then, someone pounded on the door, nearly giving him a heart attack.

“James? Are you in there?”

It was Remus.

“Ugh,” James groaned, rolling off the bed. “Yeah, I’m coming,” he said, opening the door to find a very disgruntled looking Moony, staring him up and down with narrowed eyes.

“Sorry, guess I accidentally locked it,” he shrugged. 

Sirius jumped up, hitting the floor hard. “Well, I’m gonna go get ready for bed, lads!”

And James had to stop himself from rolling his eyes. Sirius couldn’t be _subtle_ if his life depended upon it.

Remus stared at them both and then crossed his arms.

“What?” James asked, trying his best to sound innocent as his heart pounded against his chest.

“Oh, _nothing_ ,” Remus snipped, his words dripping with suspicion. 

“Okay…Well, I’m gonna go get ready for bed, too,” James said, turning his back to gather his things.

_Shit. We are never gonna be able to keep this from him…_

***

~J~

After they’d all gotten into bed, James turned towards Sirius and winked, and then he gestured for him to shut his curtains.

Sirius smiled sleepily, turned off the light, and complied. And then James lay back on his pillows and waited for what felt like an eternity, until he was absolutely positive that Remus and Peter were asleep.

He carefully pulled out the Invisibility Cloak from under his blanket, the water-like material gliding through his hands, and draped it over his head, parting his curtains and rolling off the bed, praying the wooden floor wouldn’t creak under his feet; he then tip-toed noiselessly over to Sirius’ bed and slipped inside. He could faintly see the outline of his body under the covers.

Without a word, Sirius grasped hold of his arm and tugged him down on top of him and James stifled a snort whilst quickly finding his way behind him so they could spoon like always. He wrapped his arms around him, pulling him into his chest, and buried his face in the back of his hair. “I love you,” he sighed, feeling as if all was finally right with the world.

“I love you, too,” Sirius whispered back, slowly stroking his arm with his fingers.

And they lay like that for several blissful hours, but James refused to let himself fall asleep. It was too risky. Eventually, he lightly kissed the back of Sirius’ neck one more time and then rolled off the bed and headed back to his own.

 _It’s better than nothing,_ he thought to himself as sleep started to pull him under. He’d do this every bloody night if he had to...

Sirius was well worth the lack of sleep.

_And so much more..._

***

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 😍😭😴


	24. All's Fair in Love and War

***

~S~

By the second day of lessons they were already looking forward to the weekend. James kept yawning incessantly and Sirius felt bad because he knew _why_.

“Love, you need to sleep in your _own_ bed tonight,” Sirius whispered by his ear when no one was watching them.

“I only stayed with you a couple hours. It’s not a big deal.”

“Well, it is when you can’t stay awake in lessons…”

“I’ll be fine.”

“And we have Quidditch practice, too!”

“Shhh. I’ll be okay.”

“Git.”

“Hey!”

“Well? I’m just looking out for you.”

“Well, I need _you_ more than I need sleep,” James huffed, slamming his book down on the table.

Remus turned around and pursed his lips at them.

“Oh, turn around, Moony!” James barked.

More people turned back to look at them.

“ _Bloody hell_. You’re making a scene,” Sirius groaned pinching the bridge of his nose and closing his eyes.

“Don’t tell me what I can and can’t do.”

“Look, you’re just grouchy because you’re _sleep-deprived_.”

“No, I’m grouchy because I’m _you_ deprived,” James hissed back.

***

~J~

James turned sideways to look at Sirius and was surprised to find him staring right back, his dark brows raised and his lips pursed defiantly, but then a grin started creeping up his face, reaching all the way to his irresistible blue eyes, and James was rendered powerless to hold onto his anger any longer. His lips twitched up involuntarily and he started to grin back.

“I know what you need, love,” Sirius leaned in and whispered, his hot breath tickling his ear, “I’ll take care of you.”

James’ eyes widened considerably and his face flushed red hot. He bit down on his lip, trying his damnedest not to grin like a complete idiot. 

~~~

As soon as the lesson was over James felt Sirius grab hold of his forearm and pull him towards the door. His heart started racing and he licked his lips in anticipation, feeling the butterflies dance in his stomach. Would they have another tryst in the broom cupboard like before?

_Merlin, I hope so…_

“Transfiguration is _that_ way,” Remus’ voice came.

Sirius let go of his arm and they both turned back.

Moony was staring at them with the same pinched looked he’d had since the train ride to Hogwarts, and James seriously considered smacking it off his face.

“Oh,” Sirius said, flicking his eyes to James’. “Right.”

James slumped his shoulders and sighed heavily.

_Thanks a lot, Moony. You arsehole._

Remus stared between them and then led the way down the corridor like the rule-abiding Prefect that he was.

“This is hell,” James said through gritted teeth.

“I know. But it’s just the second day. Things are _bound_ to get better.”

“We’ve gotta tell Moony. Why can’t we just _tell_ him?”

_God, I sound so bloody desperate—but I am!_

“Because…I’m scared that if we tell him…it’ll ruin our friendship. Once we say it, we can never go back,” Sirius whispered.

“Yeah, but he’s trusted us with _his_ biggest secret…Well, I mean we had to figure it out on our own first…but that’s how scared he was to tell us. So I’d think if _anyone_ would understand—it would be _him_ …”

“Yeah…I’m just worried. And what about Peter? He’d have to know, too.”

“Who’s he gonna tell? And _why_ would he? Wormtail will do anything we tell him.”

“Yeah, probably.”

“So let’s do it then! Tonight. I say we sit ‘em down and tell ‘em what’s going on.”

“Okay, let’s do it. After practice.”

***

~S~

The heavy snowfall made Quidditch practice brutal, and on top of that, it seemed like _everyone_ was sleep deprived and grouchy.

But Sirius and James were having an especially hard time of it.

“What’s _wrong_ with you?! My _grandmother_ could have made that goal, and she’s _dead!_ ” Sirius screeched at James.

“Aw, shut up you git!”

“What was that?!”

And then something whizzed by Sirius, nearly knocking him off his broom, and slammed into his arm. It was Remus, flying by like a lunatic as he chased after the Quaffle. “Bloody hell!” Sirius yelped, clutching his bicep.

“Sorry, mate! I didn’t see you there.”

In an instant, James whooshed over on his broom, looking about ready to pummel someone, his green eyes full of fire. “What happened?”

“Moony nearly killed me!” Sirius snapped, holding his arm protectively.

“It wasn’t on _purpose_!” Remus exclaimed, his amber eyes going wide. 

“Practice over there,” James said coldly, pointing in the opposite direction.

“Bloody _git_ ,” Remus muttered under his breath as he flew off.

James sidled up alongside Sirius, his brows furrowed. “Are you _really_ okay?”

“Just bruised,” he replied. “Sorry I yelled at you...”

“It’s okay…we’re all a little on edge.”

“Yeah…and the snow isn’t bloody helping.”

“Well, we’re almost done here and then maybe we can go and get _warm_ …” James said with a sly smirk before speeding off.

Sirius just watched him go and shook his head.

They continued practicing for another half hour and then returned to the ground to call it a day.

“When’s our first match again?” Frank Longbottom asked, hopping off his broom.

“Two weeks from Saturday against Hufflepuff,” James replied whilst taking his helmet off and raking his fingers back through his sweaty hair.

Sirius just watched him, mesmerized.

“Well, they shouldn’t be _too_ difficult,” Frank scoffed.

“We can never be too prepared,” James snipped. “Remember when they whipped our arse’s two years ago because we _thought_ they’d be _easy_? Never forget,” he said solemnly, holding his hand over his heart.

“Afraid of a little Hufflepuff?” a loud, jeering voice came from behind them.

They all whipped around to see Greggory Goyle flanked by the rest of the Slytherin team, all shooting death stares with their beefy arms crossed over their puffed out chests.

“Well, they have good reason…What was the score again for that game? Five hundred to _zero_?” Vincent Crabbe said, joining Goyle.

James stepped towards them and crossed his arms, nearly towering over the lot, and Sirius started to smile. James really could be quite intimidating when he wanted to be. He certainly had the upper hand of being both large _and_ beautiful—the latter something Crabbe and Goyle would never achieve.

“Did you say something?” James asked coolly.

“Nothing at all _posh boy_ …” Crabbe replied through gritted teeth.

“What did you call him?” Sirius barked stepping forward, a murderous look crossing his face.

“Oi! Is your little _girlfriend_ gonna stand up for you? I’d be more scared of a PIXIE!” Crabbe spat.

And then everything happened quite fast.

James lunged towards Crabbe and started swinging his arms wildly whilst Sirius and the rest of the Gryffindor team joined in, resorting to haphazard punches, shin-kicks and hair-pulls. Nothing was too juvenile at this point. Feral grunts and curses filled the air until an ear-piercing whistle cut through the chaos.

The new Quidditch instructor, Madam Hooch, appeared before the crowd, her wild, silver hair pointing out in all directions as her wide, cat-like, yellow eyes filled with fury.

They all quickly separated and fell back.

“ _What_ is going on here?!” she bellowed.

“Nothing,” James said, holding his hand to his mouth and squinting one eye.

Sirius gaped at him, completely horrified to see he had a busted lip, blood dripping down onto his uniform, and a rapidly swelling eye.

_Bloody hell, James..._

“Who started this?”

“Them!” they all said in unison, simultaneously pointing at each other. 

Madam Hooch huffed and shook her head. “Disperse or it’s detention for the lot of you!” She blew her shrill whistle one more time and everyone scattered like ants at a picnic. 

The Gryffindors ran to their locker room in a hurry and when they got there, Sirius just stood in the middle of the room with his mouth hanging open. Everyone was rushing about and he was still trying to process what had just happened, his heart racing uncontrollably. All he remembered was someone calling him a ‘pixie’ and then James stepping forward to defend his honor, and the rest was a blur. Whilst he had no doubt he’d be bruised from head to toe from the blows he’d received, James had clearly gotten the worst of it.

_James…_

Without even thinking, he walked straight over to James' shower and whipped the curtain back.

James froze just as he was about to peel his sweat-soaked briefs down. “What are you _doing_?” he hissed, his eyes as wide as saucers. Sirius snapped the curtain shut behind him and took one look at his bruised eye and busted lip, and without hesitation, lunged towards him and threw his arms around his neck, smashing their lips together.

James stiffened in surprise but then wrapped his arms around his waist, pulling him up tightly against his body with a groan and kissed him back just as passionately.

Sirius melted into him, feeling an inferno ignite in his lower belly and fireworks go off in his head...

And then he tasted blood.

“Sorry,” he said, quickly pulling back, not wanting to hurt him even further.

James stared down at him with an incredulous expression, his eyes already clouding over with lust. “What was that for?” he breathed.

“You…you defended my honor,” Sirius panted, staring up at him and licking his lips, still tasting his blood.

James’ emerald eyes widened and then he started to grin. “Baby…I’d do _anything_ to protect you.”

Sirius’ lips parted in response and he tried to draw breath but was sure his heart must have stopped as well as his lungs. No one had ever said such a thing to him before.

James smiled endearingly and cupped his face. “And I’d do it again and again…” he said, leaning down and pressing their lips together.

Sirius clutched onto his biceps and kissed him back, surging towards him as his heart rioted against his chest.

“Now, are we gonna shower together or…?” James asked, pulling back with a cheeky grin.

“Right,” Sirius breathed, stepping backwards and trying to compose himself. “You shower and then we can go to the hospital wing and get you checked out...and I’ll just go and… _shower_ ,” he gulped, eyeing James’ sweat-glistening bare chest. 

James smiled sexily and raked his hand back through his hair.

_Christ…_

Even with a black eye and a busted lip he was impossibly gorgeous.

_Maybe even more so._

Sirius clutched onto his forearms and stared up at him, shivering. “Thank you and _I love you,_ ” he whispered, pressing up on his toes and softly pecking James’ swollen lips one last time.

James didn’t say a word but just stared at him, his green eyes wide and his breathing heavy. And the ache... _god_ it was almost unbearable.

Sirius took a shuddery inhale and turned his back; one more second and he would attack him. He wouldn’t be able to stop himself. Not with James looking like _that_...and all for him.

He stepped out from behind the curtain and turned round, suddenly freezing and stopping dead in his tracks.

It was Peter.

Sitting on the bench, staring up at him with a bewildered expression. 

“Just assessing the damage,” Sirius said with a confident sniff, walking past him.

_Holy shit._

***

~J~

“We really _don’t_ need to go see Madam Pomfrey,” James huffed.

“Yes we do. I don’t want you to be in pain when I snog you.”

James started to grin widely even despite the pain. “Well, when you put it _that_ way…”

Sirius snickered. “Oh, and by the way, Peter saw me when I left your shower,” he stated nonchalantly.

“What?!”

“Yeah…I just told him I was ‘assessing the damage’…but I think he’s too dense to suspect anything.”

“Maybe.”

“What?”

“Sometimes I think he’s more clever than he lets on.”

“Well, I think he’s just _desperate_ …”

James sighed, not sure if he entirely agreed. 

They arrived at the hospital wing and Sirius smiled like a proud, possessive boyfriend as he explained to Madam Pomfrey what he thought James needed for his wounds. She just raised her eyebrows and muttered under her breath.

“You certainly are _bossy_!” James whispered after she’d walked away.

“Only when it comes to your health and wellbeing.”

“Right,” James chuckled, poking his side.

Sirius flinched and batted his hand away playfully and suddenly James desperately wanted to grab hold of him and thank him _properly_ for caring so much and for being so attentive.

_Where’s a bloody broom cupboard when I need it, damn it!_

Madam Pomfrey returned and dabbed some healing ointment on his busted lip and eye, saying he should be right as rain in a day or two, but to, “Be more careful around rogue Bludgers next time!”

At least, that was the excuse _Sirius_ had given her for his ailments. 

James just nodded solemnly and then looked at Sirius, trying to hide his smile.

“Well, that wasn’t so bad,” Sirius said squeezing his arm as they were leaving.

“I only went for _you_.”

“Oh, I know, you’re _so_ tough, love,” Sirius grinned up at him, his blue eyes full of mischief. “But I do care about your pretty face.”

James gasped exaggeratedly. “Are you saying you wouldn’t still love me if I wasn’t _pretty_?”

“I’d love you _no matter what_ ,” Sirius whispered by his ear, clutching onto his uniform and pulling him down closer.

A rush of heat went straight to James’ face; he grinned goofily and teasingly smacked him on the bum.

“Feeling playful are we?”

“Maybe.”

Sirius pressed against his side, making his heart beat faster, “I swear…we’ve _got_ to find a better place than a bloody broom cupboard to be alone.”

James nodded in agreement, desperately trying to think of such a place, and when they turned the corner they were both surprised to see Lily and Snape running up the stairs, taking two at a time and laughing conspiratorially. 

“Now where do you suppose they’re going?” Sirius asked, furrowing his brows.

“Hmm, there’s no telling. Up to no good by the looks of it,” James said thoughtfully, still trying to think of a place they could go that didn’t involve traipsing outside the castle at midnight or raising suspicion.

***

~S~

When they entered the Great Hall they immediately looked to the Slytherin table and were quite pleased to see Crabbe wearing a nose bandage and Goyle with a busted lip. Even Regulus had a black eye, Sirius noticed, and he hadn’t even remembered seeing him there. As a Seeker _alternate_ , Regulus still attended all the Slytherin practices, but Sirius had always imagined fist fighting to be beneath him.

_Apparently not._

“What did Madam Pomfrey say?” Remus asked, eyeing James as they sat down.

“She just gave me some ointment and said it should be better tomorrow. Do you think you’ll need any?”

“Nah, I mostly got kicked in the shins by that ogre of a Beater they have. She sure is violent,” Remus said before taking a bite of his mince pie.

“Yeah, they all are,” Sirius muttered, turning his head to look at James’ bruised eye; he observed it for a beat, wanting nothing more than to cover it in kisses. He flushed at the visual and stared down at his plate.

“Well, I’ve got Prefect duties tonight so I’ll be back late,” Remus said, standing up and smoothing down his jumper. “Later lads!”

James and Sirius both turned to look at each other in a panic.

_So much for having a talk with him._

_Bollocks._

“Tomorrow?” James mouthed with a shrug.

Sirius nodded.

“What are you two _whispering_ about?” Peter asked irritably.

“Nothing that concerns _you,_ Wormtail,” Sirius sniffed.

“Fine, well I’m going to study,” Peter spat, before standing up and stalking off.

“What’s his deal?” James asked.

“Oh, he’s probably just ticked because no one wants to hear about his stupid _rat_ for the millionth time.”

“Well, this means we can have some alone time…In the room?”

“Yes, it does,” Sirius said slowly, comprehension dawning and a devilish grin sliding up his face.

“I’ll race you!” James said lighting up.

“Okay, first one there gets a blow-job,” Sirius chuckled.

“Hey, that’s no fair! You’re wicked fast.”

“All’s fair in love and war!”

~~~

They laughed the whole way up and collapsed on James’ bed when they arrived.

“You’re…too…bloody…fast,” James wheezed, rolling over to his back.

“I prefer the term _agile_ ” Sirius breathed, crawling towards him. He lay on his side and watched James breathe in and out with his eyes closed. “I’m sorry about your face…Does it hurt terribly?” He lifted his finger and lightly began tracing around the purple bruises. 

James just smiled serenely. “Nah. Hardly even notice it.”

“I guess you’re just tough,” Sirius murmured, hovering over him and then placing a kiss by the corner of his mouth.

James’ smile widened.

“Thank you…again,” Sirius breathed before lightly kissing his cheekbone.

James’ eyes fluttered open and he stared up at him. “No one calls you a _pixie_ and gets away with it…not unless that someone is _me_.”

Sirius’ started to grin, his heart swelling against his chest. 

“C’mere,” James said, tilting his head back and straining for his lips.

Sirius leaned the rest of the way down and gently pressed them together, careful not to hurt his cut. But James didn’t seem to mind. He pushed back hungrily and gripped onto his face, slipping his tongue inside his mouth.

“Whoa there,” Sirius said pulling back. “You’re gonna split your lip again.”

“I don’t care,” James hissed, pulling him back down again.

There was a noise outside the door and they both sprung apart.

It was Peter.

“Christ!” James yelped, “Don’t you ever bloody knock?”

“Why should I?” Peter shrugged, looking between them shrewdly and then walking across the room. He grabbed a magazine off his nightstand and plopped down on his bed.

Sirius exhaled heavily, feeling yet another lost opportunity. “I thought you were going to study?”

“The library’s too crowded…”

“What about the commons?”

“Same.”

Sirius could feel James bristling beside him.

Would they ever have any privacy?

It didn’t seem like it.

He shrugged defeatedly and shot James an _I’m-sorry-this-is-hopeless_ stare.

~~~

Later that night when Sirius felt James open his curtains and try and crawl into bed with him, he promptly, though _painfully_ , sent him away, telling him that he was afraid his ailments wouldn’t heal due to lack of sleep, and selfishly, he wasn’t ready to have a repeat of James’ extreme crabbiness—it didn’t help their already difficult situation in the least, regardless of how much he desperately wanted to cuddle. If they were to survive and figure this thing out, they at least needed to be of sound mind.

In the end, they swapped pillows, which only seemed to slightly pacify James and just made Sirius’ heart hurt all the more as he buried his nose into the fabric and took a deep inhale, smelling James and yet not _having_ him.

 _We just have to make Moony understand…_ he thought, before drifting off to sleep.

***


	25. Concessions

***

~S~

The next few days drug on about the same. Classes, stolen kisses in the broom cupboard, more classes, Quidditch, supper, homework and bed. And try as they might, they never found a chance to talk to Remus about their situation, but they were determined to make it happen over the weekend.

On Thursday, they were late getting to supper due to practice, and once again, saw Lily and Snape running up the stairs together. And on Friday they were prepared. They brought the map and the Invisibility Cloak, and waited behind a giant stone gargoyle for them to run by.

And just like clockwork, the couple appeared at the exact time as the previous day.

They followed after them, concealed under the Cloak, all the way to the seventh floor.

“Shhh,” James hissed.

“I’m _trying_ but we just ran up… _seven_ bloody flights of…stairs…you _git_ …” Sirius panted.

They watched silently as Lily paced back and forth in front of a massive tapestry, and then, to their complete shock, a door miraculously appeared on the opposite wall. Lily and Snape both walked through it and then it disappeared.

“Bloody hell, where’d they go?” Sirius hissed.

“I dunno.”

They walked to where the couple had just been and pulled off the Cloak and James held up the map. The dots that were once “Lily Evans” and “Severus Snape” had completely vanished. “What do you make of it?” he breathed.

“Some kind of secret place,” Sirius replied in awe, staring up at the painted tapestry of Barnabas the Barmy trying to teach trolls in tutus how to dance ballet.

“Are those _trolls_?” James asked staring up with fascination.

Suddenly, a troll wacked Barnabas with his enormous club and sent him flying out of the frame.

“Well, how do you suppose they got in this secret place?” 

“The trolls?”

“No, _Lily and Snivellus_ , you arse…” Sirius hissed.

“Oh, I’m not sure…but this must be where they keep coming. It looked like they walked past this painting three times and muttered something…but I can’t be sure. We’ll just have to come back again and get closer.”

Sirius huffed, “Or you could just ask her.”

“What?”

“Just _ask_ Lily how to get in.”

“Well, in case you haven’t noticed, we’re not exactly _friends_.”

“Well, it can’t hurt to _try_ …Look,” Sirius said, pacing back and forth, we _desperately_ need a secret place to be alone. I’m going bat-shit crazy and that damn broom cupboard just isn’t cutting it! I don’t _enjoy_ snogging you in a bucket whilst being covered in cobwebs and filth!”

Suddenly, the same door re-appeared.

“Bloody hell! How did you do that?!”

“I dunno…but quick, open it before it disappears!”

James lunged for the knob and flung it open.

Sirius heard a shrill scream and ran smack into the back of James’ body, nearly being knocked to the ground.

“Bloody hell!” James hissed.

“James!” a familiar voice screeched.

And Sirius quickly peered out from behind him, his heart racing. 

It was Lily…with a horrified expression on her face, and for good reason—she was currently straddling the lap of none other than Severus Snape, on a plush purple couch in front of a roaring fire for that matter.

Snape slowly turned his head to look at them, his black eyes full of fire. “Did you _follow_ us?” he demanded, not even bothering to get up or conceal the awkward situation.

“Yes,” James blurted out.

Lily slowly crawled off Snape's lap and stood up, smoothing down her skirt and wrapping her arms around herself, “Well, I guess you’ve found our secret place,” she said biting her lip. And then Snape got up and stood next to her, the bulge in his trousers blatantly obvious.

And Sirius felt positively sick, he grimaced and quickly averted his eyes.

“So how did you find out?” Snape asked, crossing his arms, his long white fingers like spiders, clinging onto his biceps.

“It was by accident…well, sort of,” James said furrowing his brows. “We followed you up here, but honestly, we don’t know how we got in.”

“Right,” Snape said coolly, eyeing them. “And why were you following us in the _first place_?”

“Because we keep seeing you run off every day before supper's over,” James replied.

Lily walked towards them, wringing her hands. “Please don’t tell anyone else about this place. _Please!”_ she begged looking at James.

Sirius curled his lip up.

“We won’t,” James replied, “…but we’d like to be able to use it, too...And even if you don’t tell us how to get in, we’ll figure it out.”

Lily scrunched her face in confusion as Snape started grinning wickedly.

“What’s so funny, _Snivellus_?” Sirius spat.

Snape sauntered towards them like some kind of confident Lothario.

“I don’t know, you tell me? Why would the two of you _need_ this room?” he asked, raising his thin, black brows.

Sirius clenched his fists at his sides, wanting nothing more than to punch him in his repulsive, sallow face.

“That’s none of your business,” James said with a snort.

“Ah, but it is…We won’t allow you to use this place unless you make some _concessions_.”

“Forget it,” Sirius spat, turning to leave, but James grabbed him by the arm and pulled him back.

“Yeah, like what _kinds_ of concessions?” James asked standing taller.

“First, tell us _why_ you need this room, second, you must promise to leave me alone for _good,_ and third, you can only use the room at times when we are not.”

Sirius’ mouth hit the floor. This was all just too bizarre. No way in hell was he about to do a deal with that greasy bat who thought he had the right, the _audacity,_ to tell them what they could and couldn’t do.

Lily looked up to Snape with wide eyes, biting her lip nervously, but the bat didn’t break his stare from James.

“Okay,” James said, tapping his finger to his mouth contemplatively.

“What?!” Sirius screeched, whipping his head around to look at him.

James peered down at him and pursed his lips. “Well, isn’t this what you wanted? _A private place_?” he said lowering his voice.

“Yeah, but not with _those_ terms,” he spat. “And are we just gonna forget about the fact that he tried to _kill_ me?!”

James grabbed his bicep and tugged him to the side. “Yeah, but he _didn’t_. And listen, this could be _perfect_ for us. A completely private place that no one else knows about. Not even Remus or Peter. And it doesn’t even show up on the map…”

“But…”

“Sirius, we could literally do _whatever_ we want in here…”

“Yeah, but…”

“Do you want to go three more terms at Hogwarts without a place like this?”

“No…”

“Then let’s agree. We’ll tell them the truth, but with the threat that if they ever break our trust, we’ll tell the whole school about this place and ruin it. They’d never blab. And of course we need a _schedule_ , because _hell no_ do we ever want to be here when _they_ are,” he said with a repulsed shiver.

“But what about not messing with Snivellus?” Sirius asked petulantly.

“I’m willing to give that up to be with you,” James said resolutely, firmly gripping both of his shoulders and staring deeply into his eyes. 

“I never thought of it like that…”

“Well, I did. And I’d much rather be with _you_ , then waste my time on _him_ ,” he said glancing over his shoulder at Snape.

“Yeah, that’s true,” Sirius said staring off in a daze.

“So are we in agreement?”

“Yeah...I guess so.”

They walked back to where the couple stood with Sirius still in shock, unable to believe any of it was real.

Snape wore a smug smile and Lily looked apprehensive. Clearly, the bat was the _dominant_ in this relationship, he mused, barely able to look at him. 

“We agree to your terms,” James said.

“Good. Now explain _why_ you need the room…and I’ll _know_ if you’re lying,” Snape said haughtily.

Sirius balled his fists and clenched his jaw, absolutely _loathing_ this new, extra-smug bat. He was repulsive before, but _now_ , with this new confidence, he was downright _intolerable_. 

James took a deep breath and then blurted out, “We’re in love.”

And all their jaws hit floor, especially Sirius’.

James however, acted as if he’d just said some trivial fact about the weather.

Sirius turned to stare at him, his eyes nearly bugging out of his head, at a total loss for words as his brain had suddenly caught fire.

Snape and Lily were in no different of a state.

And James continued to stand there like nothing extraordinary had just occurred.

Finally, Snape cleared his throat and looked back and forth between them, blinking rapidly. It was the most flustered Sirius had ever seen him. “ _Okay_ …” he finally said in a slightly strained voice. “And Sirius, are you in agreement with James’…uh… _statement_?”

“Y-yes,” Sirius managed to get out, feeling as if someone were strangling him.

“Okay, and for the second part of the agreement?”

“We agree to leave you alone from here on out,” James said matter-of-factly.

“Sirius?”

“I agree to leave you alone, okay?” he snapped.

“And we’re willing to negotiate a schedule,” James added.

“Good,” Snape said steepling his long white fingers and staring at the ground pensively. “Well, Lily and I usually come here every day before supper is over and also on the weekends…”

“That’s fine…we can use it later at night and whenever you aren’t on the weekends,” James said coolly.

Lily chimed in, “What if we left some kind of sign outside the entrance—just to make sure no one barges in on any one?” Then she promptly turned bright red and stared down at the floor.

“Good idea, love,” Snape said sweetly, smiling down at her. She beamed and grinned back up at him, her green eyes sparkling.

And Sirius thought he was going to hurl. 

“How about you set a Knut outside the door against the baseboard whenever you’re using the room and that will be our signal?” Snape said.

“Okay,” James replied.

Sirius nodded in agreement.

And then surprisingly, Snape stuck out his hand to shake on it. James promptly shook it back and then Sirius followed suit, inwardly dying at the feel of his ice-cold, clammy skin.

“Deal,” Snape said, as Lily just stood there and stared.

Sirius cleared his throat, “And I take it that we have your _word_ that you won’t speak about… _us_ …to anyone else?”

“You do.”

“Because if you do we’ll have no choice but to tell everyone about this place…” he added hurriedly.

Snape raised a brow and smirked. “I have no doubt you would.”

“We promise,” Lily blurted out. “We have no desire to… _interfere_ …in your lives. And we ask that the same respect be given to us,” she said, now turning a deep shade of maroon.

“We promise,” James said rather loudly, making Sirius jump and stare up at him.

“Okay, well now that we’re all on the _same page_ …” Snape sighed, “You should know that this place is called the Room of Requirement. To get in, all you have to do is pace three times in front of the tapestry, and have a _genuine need_ for the room. Nothing trivial, but a real, _genuine_ _need_ , which obviously you’ve already figured out…”

“We get it,” Sirius snapped, pursing his lips.

“Right, and then the room will provide whatever you need. It may not look like this when you come back. Also, it won’t provide food.”

“Anything else?” James asked.

“No, I think that’s it.”

“Okay, well I suppose we’ll be going…and maybe come back _later_ ,” James said. “We’ll just have to see.”

“I have no doubt you have your _means_ ,” Snape said coolly, his black eyes glittering.

 _Bloody hell, does he know about the map and the Cloak, too?_ Sirius wondered. He wouldn’t put it past him.

James gripped his forearm and tugged. “Alright, well thanks and…bye,” he said, leading him briskly towards the door.

~~~

“Well, that was… _different_ ,” James said, flinging himself against the wall and raking his hair back, his eyes glazed over in shock.

“It was bloody _awkward,_ you git,” Sirius said crouching down and resting his head in his hands, still feeling nauseous.

“Look, I’m sorry if it embarrassed you, but I figured it’d be best to just put it all out there and be honest. Thinking about being alone with you puts everything into perspective. I don’t care about Snivellus…or _anything else_. I just wanna _be_ with you…” James said in a strained, whiney voice. 

Sirius stood up and turned towards him. “Love…”

James reached out and gripped his hips, tugging him forward and between his open legs, pressing their groins together. They stared at each other for a beat and then James leaned down and nuzzled against his face gently, finding his mouth and pressing into his lips, sending fireworks off inside Sirius’ head and a shot of heat straight to his cock. He groaned and leaned into his body, pressing him against the wall. “I want all those things, too, love,” he whispered by his ear, stroking his hair back.

James shivered and held him tighter, inhaling the crook of his neck. “We’re gonna make it, babe. This room is our life-saver.”

Sirius pressed his face into his chest and relaxed completely, his body going slack.

Maybe James was right…Maybe it would all work out for the best...Maybe they could finally have the alone time they craved…and Maybe they wouldn’t be blackmailed in some, humiliating, horrific way… 

~~~

They walked back down the deserted corridor, holding hands and swinging them as they went, and by the time they got back to Gryffindor Tower, they couldn’t stop yawning.

“ _Where_ have you two been?” Peter hissed, narrowing his eyes as they climbed through the portrait hole.

“Out,” James said, quickly ending the discussion.

Peter huffed and followed close behind them up the stairs.

“Do you two _ever_ study anymore?”

“Yes, Peter, we have a free period every morning and we’re going to the library this weekend,” James said, glancing at Sirius and smiling tiredly.

“Whatever,” Peter muttered. “Well, it’s a full moon on Sunday in case you _forgot_ …What with all your _whispering_.”

Sirius rolled his eyes, in no mood to put up with Peter’s attitude.

“Thank you for reminding us, and we aren’t whispering about _you_ so there’s no need to be upset.”

“Well we don’t keep secrets! We’re the Marauders! But ever since you two got back you haven’t been acting like we’re a _team_.”

James sighed, “Look, Peter, that wasn’t our intention. I’m sorry you’ve felt that way but we’ll explain everything in time…and then you’ll understand.”

“Fine, but you’ll have to explain it all to Remus, too, because he’s not very happy with you either.”

James glanced at Sirius and pursed his lips.

 _Brilliant, we’re making everybody mad…_ Sirius thought, so ready to be done with the day.

***

~J~

They silently got ready for bed, and after waiting until Peter and Remus were asleep, James grabbed the Cloak and tip-toed over to Sirius’ bed. He stuck his head inside the curtains.

“Do you wanna go to the Room, or wait?” he whispered, leaning over him.

“Let’s wait, love. I’m just beat.”

“Yeah, me, too…and we’ll have _all_ weekend,” he grinned. 

“Exactly.”

James crawled onto the bed and Sirius hissed. “No, love, you need to sleep in your own tonight."

“Just for a few minutes? _Please_?”

“Oh, alright. But only for a bit…”

James pulled him into his body and took a deep inhale of his hair, feeling the happiest he’d been all day.

And without even meaning to, he closed his eyes and quickly drifted off to sleep.

~~~

James woke to the sound of Remus’ alarm clock blaring. He heard a yawn and feet padding on the hardwood floor and then Sirius rolled over and whacked him in the face with his hand.

He flinched and then froze, his heart doubling in speed.

 _Sirius_ was in bed with him…he was in bed with _Sirius_. They were in bed together! He let out a startled grunt and then quickly threw his hand over his own mouth, stifling the noise. 

“Time to get up lads if you want breakfast before Hogsmeade,” Remus said. James could hear him rifling through his trunk. He nudged Sirius and then quickly covered his mouth with his hand. Sirius’ eyes popped open in shock, blinking rapidly. “Say, ‘I’m up,’ so Remus knows you’re here,” James whispered in his ear.

“I’m up!” Sirius croaked as soon as James removed his hand.

“Okay, make sure James gets up as well,” Remus said, and then they heard the door shut.

“Bloody hell… that was close,” James whispered.

Sirius started chuckling and rubbed his eyes. “But you still have the Cloak.”

“Yeah, I do but I don’t know if Peter’s up or not…So open your curtains and I’ll wait here, and then I’ll get in my bed when the coast is clear.”

“Okay, but I wish you could stay here and snuggle,” Sirius said with an irresistible pout. His hair was sticking up in all directions, and his eyes were squinted nearly shut and James thought he’d never looked more adorable. “C’mere,” he said, pulling him in and quietly kissing his lips. He snuggled him close and started kissing up and down his neck. 

“Now, stop that!” Sirius hissed, pushing him back. “You’re gonna make me hard.”

“I think you already _are_ ,” James said grinning as he trailed his fingers down his stomach and slid them between his legs; he gripped hold of his cock and squeezed, and before Sirius could scream, he clamped his hand back over his mouth, silently chuckling as Sirius narrowed his eyes at him.

~~~

James made sure he was covered by the Cloak before Sirius opened the curtains.

“Ready?”

“Ready.”

Sirius pulled them open and James peered out, completely shocked to see Peter, lying in his bed with the curtains open, staring directly at their bed.

_Bloody hell! Has that rat been listening? Surely, he couldn’t hear us…_

Sirius crawled off the bed first, acting like nothing was amiss, and James carefully followed behind him, invisibly.

“Mornin’ Peter,” Sirius rasped.

“Morning,” Peter said back, watching him suspiciously.

Sirius walked over to James’ bed and opened the curtains, and after giving James a moment to crawl inside, said, “Time to get up, James!” with a smirk.

“I’m up!” James replied, pulling the Cloak off himself and smirking back.

Peter huffed and rolled off his bed and then gathered his things and left the room.

“Well, that went well,” James smirked. 

Sirius just shook his head. “Come on, let’s go get ready."

“Maybe we could do that every night.”

“Not a bloody chance.”

“Why not?”

“Because I don’t wanna sneak around and worry about getting caught every bloody morning—we’re gonna tell them the truth and then we won’t have to worry about it!” Sirius snapped.

“Are we telling them today?”

“Maybe. Let’s see how Hogsmeade goes first, and then we can decide.”

“Okay, and the Room of Requirement?”

“We can go there when we get back. Though, I do wish we had some kind of time frame for when _they’ll_ be in there on the weekends. It’s kind of a shot in the dark,” Sirius said frowning.

“Well, if we see them today, we can ask.”

“Good idea. And you know what else I was thinking?” Sirius said thoughtfully.

“What?”

“If that room can give us whatever we require…well, couldn’t it provide a _bed_?”

“Well…Yeah, probably. Why?”

“Do you really have to ask, love?”

James giggled like a school girl, his dimples deepening and his face turning red, and then he composed himself, raking his hair back and clearing his throat.

“No.”

“That’s what I thought,” Sirius said smugly. “We’re gonna get proper use outta that room.”

James bit his bottom lip and stared down at the floor, his imagination running almost as wild as his heart.

***

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 😁❤️🔥❤️🔥❤️


	26. What I Require

***

~J~

James shivered and tucked his face inside his scarf. The walk to Hogsmeade was a cold one and he desperately wanted to clutch onto Sirius’ arm and feel him pressed against his side, and possibly even steal a few frigid kisses, but instead, they kept their distance as Remus droned on about Prefect duties and Peter kept scrambling to catch up with them.

“Where to first?” Remus asked when they finally arrived in the snow-dusted little village. “Zonko’s? Do you need more gags?” He turned to look at Sirius and James.

“Um…” James said, and then he looked to Sirius. They both shrugged.

“You’re joking,” Remus said in disbelief.

“Well, I’m good on…that _sort of thing_ ,” James replied, “but we can still have a look.”

“Alright,” Remus sighed, eyeing them suspiciously.

And James suddenly found it comical that he ever used to obsess over Zonko products at all...Normally, he couldn’t wait to get his hands on the latest gag to use on Snivellus or some poor, unsuspecting student. But now…things were _different_. For one, he’d promised not to torture the bat, and for two, if he were being completely honest with himself, he was starting to feel a little too old for such juvenile games. Nowadays, his single most waking (and _dreaming_ ) thought was how to get Sirius alone so he could literally devour him.

They stepped into Zonko’s and he watched in rapture as Sirius tugged off his wool cap and swiped his raven hair back with elegant fingers, his cheeks flushed from the cold and his blue eyes piercing, and suddenly James’ brain found itself trying to formulate a way to get his hands on him.

_Christ, he’s fucking gorgeous…_

And then he nearly ran right into a rack of Sneakoscopes.

“Watch it, mate!” Remus yelped, pulling him back by the arm.

***

~S~

They indulged Peter as he rifled through all the latest gags and plotted clever ways to execute them on Snivellus—at least _Peter_ seemed to think they were clever—whilst Sirius just rolled his eyes and sighed exasperatedly, desperately wanting to get back to the castle and snog James into oblivion; everything else just paled in comparison…even torturing the bat…though Merlin knew it was going to be hell trying to hold his tongue around him. But the thought of _snogging James_ …completely and utterly alone in the Room of Requirement, once again made the sacrifice worth it.

They headed to Honeydukes next where James loaded up on all their favorite sweets and grinned as he caught Sirius staring at him.

“I still owe you,” Sirius leaned in and whispered.

“I’ll put it on your tab,” James smirked, his green eyes lighting up.

Sirius blushed and smirked back at him, wishing he could grasp hold of his jacket and pull him down for a kiss.

And then he heard giggling and turned round to see a group of girls gawking at them.

_Panting after James, I’m sure…_

He balled his fists and glared back at them.

“Why are you giving those girls your infamous _death-stare_?” James asked in a low voice.

“Because they’re looking at you.”

“Is that such a _bad_ thing?”

“When they look like that?...Yeah, it is.”

“Like how?”

Sirius huffed irritably and pursed his lips. “Like how I look at you when you’re completely naked and dripping wet.”

James snorted loudly and then covered his mouth, his eyes going wide.

And Sirius just rolled his eyes. “C’mon, love…I think we need some food.”

***

~J~

They eventually settled in at the Three Broomsticks, ordering several rounds of Butterbeers whilst discussing the Quidditch season, and James just couldn’t take it any longer, he felt if he didn’t touch Sirius soon he might just explode in his pants…or maybe touching him would actually _cause_ him to explode…either way, he slipped his hand under the table and placed it on top of Sirius’ knee, squeezing tightly to get his attention and then digging his fingers into the fabric of his jeans, and slowly raking them up his thigh, stopping just before his crotch. He glanced sideways and watched with pleasure as Sirius’ eyes widened to capacity, his whole body going stiff. And then he exhaled shakily and took a very long swig of his Butterbeer, flicking his eyes up to the ceiling as James just smirked wickedly and patted his leg several times.

_Mission accomplished. Now he’s definitely as horny as me…_

Suddenly Remus stopped talking and directed his attention to the entrance of the pub, and then he started smiling goofily and they all turned to see what he was staring at.

It was Lily, _of course_ , with Snape trailing close behind her.

James turned to Sirius and raised his brows.

“Look, it’s the bat! Shall we play a trick on him?” Peter whispered, rubbing his hands together conspiratorially. 

“No,” James barked rather loudly. “I mean...not right _now_ …”

“Right,” Sirius chimed in, “not _here_.”

Peter looked between them, obviously peeved.

They all watched as the couple sat down at a table in the corner, and then Snape darted his eyes in their direction and smirked like a demon.

James grimaced and looked away.

_Bloody hell…He’s going to make this miserable for us. He thinks he’s got the upper hand now. Fuck._

James took a determined swig of his Butterbeer, turned and winked at Sirius, and then promptly stood up and stalked over to their table, not giving a flying rat tail who was watching.

“And to what do we owe the pleasure of this visit?” Snape asked coolly, crossing his arms over his chest and leaning back in his chair.

Lily looked up and smiled, her green eyes round and full of surprise.

“Uh…It’s just…we were wondering…When can we use the _Room_ today?” he asked, instantly loathing the desperate edge to his voice.

Snape looked to Lily for a moment and then back to him. “Any time from now until seven tonight, and then tomorrow…I’ll just have to let you know,” he said in an infuriatingly patronizing tone. 

_Fucking brilliant._

James clenched his jaw. It was painfully clear that Snivellus _relished_ the fact that he was the one in control. Any other time and he would have attempted to punch his smug face in, but then he thought of Sirius...

 _I’m doing this for us…I’m doing this for us…_ he kept telling himself.

“Okay, good…” he said, the words coming out strangled. He started to walk away, balling his fists at his sides.

_So much for getting the upper hand…Bollocks._

“Wait, there’s one more thing,” Snape said.

“What?”

“Make _absolutely_ _certain_ that no one follows you,” and then he glanced pointedly in the direction of their table, where Peter and Remus were noticeably watching them. 

“We will. No one will see us…I _swear_. But maybe you should take some of your _own_ advice,” he snapped, inwardly thrilled to finally get a jab in.

Snape glared at him, his black eyes hard as flint. “Yes, we were rather careless, I’ll admit…but it _won’t_ happen again.”

“Brilliant. Is that all?”

“Yes.”

James turned on his heel and strode back to their table, his blood boiling under his skin. And then he realized that literally every eye in the room was on him; everyone probably wondering why in the name of Merlin he was having what appeared to be a _civil_ conversation with his arch nemesis and former crush.

“Bloody hell,” he muttered as he sat back down next to Sirius, rubbing his forehead with his fingers.

“What was _that_ about?” Peter spat.

“None of your business.”

Peter looked to Remus with his mouth agape. “You _see_? This is how they’ve been ever since the holidays. Keeping secrets, acting peculiar…I want to know what’s going on!” he half yelled, slamming his fists down on the table like a petulant child and making the mugs of Butterbeer shake. 

“Shhh, you arsehole!” James hissed. “This is not the time, nor the place to discuss… _such matters_.” He raked his hair back with wide eyes and then promptly snatched his Butterbeer off the table and gulped it down.

“Well, Peter does have a point,” Remus said frowning, “you two have been acting _strange_ …And we _are_ a team…or at least I thought we were…and we don’t keep secrets from each other.”

“I know,” James said, slamming his glass down on the table, completely exasperated.

Everyone flinched and his face grew hot.

“Can I even still depend on you two during the full moon?”

“Yes!” he and Sirius both hissed in unison. 

“We _will_ explain things,” James said, slumping back in his chair, “but _later_.”

“Alright,” Remus replied crossing his arms. “I’ll hold you to it.”

***

~J~

They were exhausted by the time they got back to Hogwarts, and by the looks of the thick, white blanket of snow covering everything in sight, it seemed likely they’d be snowbound in the castle all weekend. Except, of course, for Sunday night when they would have “Full Moon Duty” with Remus, _regardless of the weather._

“I’ve got a tutor session for the rest of the afternoon until supper,” Remus said, “and then after that maybe we can talk?”

“Yes, that will work,” James said, shooting a glance at Sirius. “In our room,” he added.

“Okay, I’ll see you lads at supper,” Remus said before walking in the direction of the library.

“How about some Wizard’s Chess?” Peter asked wearing a hopeful expression.

“Uh…maybe another time,” James said, swiping his hair back and staring at Sirius. “We’ve got…some place to be.”

And then Sirius winked at him, making his heart beat faster.

Peter just huffed and rolled his eyes.

James bolted to their room and snatched his book satchel, quickly stuffing the Cloak and map inside it, and then met Sirius back in the commons, noticing that Peter had coerced a third year into playing a game of chess with him instead.

“Ready?”

“Ready,” Sirius replied, looking just as anxious as he felt.

_Why is this so nerve-wracking?! We’ve been alone before…_

James wiped his sweaty palms down the sides of his jeans and led the way out the portrait hole, his stomach full of butterflies.

The seventh floor was deserted as usual and James sighed with relief. He quickly pulled the Cloak off of them and started pacing in front of the tapestry like his life depended on it, paying no mind to the shenanigans of Barnabas or his ridiculous dancing trolls. He had much more _important_ things on his mind at this point.

And just like the time before, the large, ornately carved door immediately appeared on the opposite wall, and with giddy grins, he and Sirius pushed it open.

“Bloody hell,” Sirius breathed, stepping inside first.

James’ eyes widened as his mouth fell open.

In the very center of the room there was a bed…but not just any bed…

It had a canopy and was similar to their beds in the dorm, but much larger and grander, with ornate floral carvings winding up the four wooden posts and a plush comforter that looked spun from pure gold.

And that wasn’t all.

James blinked and looked around. A giant crystal chandelier hung from the ceiling as a blazing fire roared under the hearth. In front of the fire sat a couch, but it was different than Lily and Snape’s, much bigger and maroon and gold.

“Wow,” he breathed. “Is this like from your imagination or something or do you think the Room actually invented this stuff?”

“I’m not sure,” Sirius replied, slowly turning around in a circle. “I can’t say I’ve ever dreamt up a bed quite like _that_ …I was always more focused on _you_ on a bed.”

James chuckled and ran his hand over the back of the velvety couch, a thrill going up his spine. “This is bloody amazing…” he murmured, and when he looked up he saw Sirius sauntering towards him, his thumbs hooked in his jean pockets and the firelight reflecting off his eyes.

_Fucking hell!_

James swallowed down the lump in his throat, feeling inexplicably warm, and _not_ because of his proximity to the fire.

“It this what you _require_ , love?” Sirius asked, stopping just before him.

“What I _require_ ,” James said, reaching out with a pounding heart and clasping hold of his wrists, "is _you_..." He tugged him forward and into himself, their bodies slamming together. Sirius chuckled quietly and automatically wrapped his arms around his back, and James was filled with relief. Despite always appearing confident, he was constantly afraid of making the wrong move or appearing ridiculous, but Sirius never seemed to think so. _Thank god._

“We’re finally alone,” Sirius whispered, peering up at him.

James swallowed hard, staring down at his dark lashes and admiring the way they brought out the blue in his eyes...and then his gaze dropped to his lips and his heart beat faster.

_Christ, those fucking lips!_

He felt his cock twitch in his pants and suddenly couldn’t take it any longer. He leaned down and kissed him hard, a wave of heat washing over him as he did, and everything went very hazy. He pulled back to stare into Sirius’ eyes but they were still closed, and he marveled at the expression on his face.

_Do I really have that kind of effect on him?_

Sirius looked utterly sloshed.

Unable to resist, James leaned down and kissed him again, pressing harder and clasping his face between his palms, feeling absolutely weak in the knees.

Sirius made a satisfied noise and opened fully to him, sliding his hands up his chest and entwining his arms around his neck, and James felt absolutely dizzy; drunk on the taste of his wet mouth and the feel of his warm body pressed against him.

_Bloody hell…_

And then he heard music and thought he’d really lost his marbles.

“Do you heart that?” Sirius murmured against his lips.

“Hmm?” he noised, only able to hear the pounding of his own heart.

“The music…”

He pulled back reluctantly and listened. “I thought I was hearing things…”

“No, I hear it, too,” Sirius said, his eyes still closed.

An unfamiliar melody drifted through the room, like nothing he’d ever heard before...yet it magically seemed to capture the exact _feel_ of the moment. _Strange_. He looked around for the source of it, but there was none.

“Were you thinking about dancing?” he asked, pressing his mouth to Sirius’ ear and inhaling his hair, the intoxicating, heady scent going straight to his groin.

Sirius melted into him and shivered. “No, but I am now…”

James started to grin and held him closer, instantly feeling Sirius’ arousal pressing into his thigh. Hot and hard and entirely distracting. 

_Mother of Merlin!_

Losing the ability to speak, he swallowed hard and began swaying back and forth, moving his hips in time with the music, nearly combusting as their bodies rubbed against each other, an inferno growing between them.

Sirius chuckled deeply by his ear, raising the hairs on the back of his neck, “I didn’t know you could dance this well, love…”

“Guess we never had the opportunity,” James breathed, squeezing him tighter and nuzzling against the side of his face, feeling heaven. “But you haven’t seen anything yet…” he said, and then proceeded to waltz them around the room, feeling as if he were in some kind of surreal dream whilst Sirius just clung onto him, letting him do all the work. And he couldn’t help but think that maybe all those insufferable dance lessons his mother had forced him to take as a child, weren’t such a waste after all…

He’d just never imagined he’d be using them on Sirius. 

***

~S~

“So you wanna…erm…”

“Get on the bed?”

“Yeah,” James said, swallowing hard and averting his eyes.

And Sirius almost wanted to laugh. Why were they so bloody nervous? It wasn’t like they’d never gotten frisky on a bed before…But somehow this felt different. Maybe because there were no parents bustling around downstairs, and no chance of nosey roommates who were liable to barge in…

_It’s just us…_

He hopped up on the bed and patted the spot next to him, the golden fabric like silk beneath his fingers.

James silently eyed the spot and then looked up at him, an anxious expression crossing his gorgeous face.

_Dear god, he's beautiful!_

“C’mon, love. I won’t bite,” Sirius said starting to grin. “At least not _hard_.”

James grinned back and carefully climbed up on the bed.

Sirius sighed and leaned back on his elbows. “Well this is bloody weird. On a bed…at school…with _you_ …”

James chuckled deeply and lay back next to him, resting his hands behind his head, “Yeah, this _is_ bloody weird. Feels strange…”

Sirius eyed the strip of exposed skin just below his jumper and swallowed hard. 

“Too strange to do anything?”

James just closed his eyes and smiled devilishly.

Sirius moved closer and leaned over him. “Too strange for me to kiss you?” he breathed, lightly tracing the tip of his finger around James’ sexy mouth. 

James darted his tongue out, licking his luscious lips, and opened his eyes. “Never.”

Sirius started to smile and moved in closer, stroking his hair back from his perfect face and leaning on his chest. He hovered over him, an inch away, and then lightly brushed their lips together, back and forth, feeling a bolt of electricity shoot straight to his naval, and James must have felt the exact same thing because he made a strangled sort of noise and cupped the back of his head, pulling him down harder and straining for more, his tongue insatiable. 

Sirius hastily crawled on top of him, never breaking the kiss, and straddled his hips, pressing his hands into the comforter and trying to keep up with James’ hungry pace.

_Bloody hell!_

James gripped onto his hips with his large hands and rolled them on the bed, so he was now on top and pushing Sirius into it, rutting against him with a fervor. 

“Christ!” Sirius yelped, clasping onto his neck with both hands and staring up at him, his heart going haywire and his cock screaming for more. 

“The things I wanna do to you,” James growled, continuing to rub against him, the friction nearly unbearable.

“God, do them all,” Sirius breathed, squirming underneath him, every inch of his body pulsating and desperate for more. James was always surprising him.

“Oh, I don’t think there’s enough _time_ for that…but I can try my best,” James purred, leaning down by the side of his head, and then he licked the shell of his ear and Sirius convulsed, completely caught off guard. “Bloody hell!” he yelped, feeling goose bumps cover his skin.

“You like that?”

Sirius responded with an unintelligible noise and scrunched his eyes shut, feeling too much at once. _Too bloody much._ And then James’ hot, wet tongue was sliding down the side of his neck, momentarily paralyzing him. He curled his toes and arched up underneath him. “You’re gonna _kill_ me,” he whined, not sure he could take much more. Not sure his _cock_ could take much more.

“Not if I can help it,” James murmured, yanking his shirt collar apart and sucking a love bite at the base of his throat.

Sirius bit down hard on his bottom lip and flicked his eyes up to the canopy ceiling, squirming underneath him as his chest heaved up and down.

_For the millionth bloody time, how is this fucking real!?_

And then he felt James’ hand slip between them and slide down his stomach, on a mission. Sirius' whole body clenched in anticipation and he gasped when James gripped him through his jeans, his large, strong hand grasping all of him like he owned it. Like he possessed him. A sensation he would never get used to, and frankly never wanted to.

“Christ!” he hissed bucking up.

And James found his mouth again and swallowed his words as well as the rest of his breath, continuing to paw at him like a fiend.

“Wait,” Sirius panted, pulling back. “Together,” he said, sliding his hand between them and gripping onto James, amazed by how hard he already was. And James’ face suddenly went from ravenously hungry to entirely sloshed; his full lips parted, his eyes closed, and then he leaned down on his elbows, with one on either side of Sirius’ head. “Don’t stop,” he panted next to his ear in a husky voice, pressing himself harder into his hand.

And Sirius had no desire to.

***

~J~  
  


_Dear god, Sirius’ hands!_

Would he ever get over the way they knew his body? The liberties they took?

He hoped not.

Because every time Sirius touched him it was like the first time, except he continued to get braver, handling him with a confidence that made his insides absolutely weak. 

Literally _begging_ for Sirius to touch him was never far from his mind.

“Is that good?” Sirius asked, continuing to stroke and rub him with expertise, his agile fingers knowing exactly how to undo him.

“Yes,” he breathed out, his body starting to quiver.

_I’m not gonna make it…Christ._

And then Sirius unzipped his fly. “Off,” he demanded.

And James didn’t need to be told twice. He quickly rolled off of him with a grunt and lay on his back, hastily shoving his jeans down his hips and off of himself as fast as he could. He looked up to see Sirius stripping down to his knickers.

“All of it off,” Sirius hissed, now trying to help him get his maroon jumper over his head. They both scrambled to pull it up but it was stuck. “Fucking hell!” James bellowed, straining against the fabric. But the harder he pushed, the more tangled it got.

And then he heard Sirius cackling. 

“You arse! Get me outta this thing!”

Sirius finally helped him get free and toss it aside, and James just stared up at him with fire in his eyes and flared nostrils.

“You are _such_ an idiot,” Sirius chuckled, shaking his head and crawling back on top of him like a jungle cat, and James was going to say something tart back, but then Sirius’ lip pulled up, just barely over his pointy canine, fucking-sexy-as-hell as always, and he could have cared less about witty banter or almost being strangled by his jumper. He clasped Sirius’ face and yanked him down again, smashing their lips together and pulling him down on top of him, the feel of his bare skin, the sound that came out of his mouth, all making him lose his mind. He slid his hands down his back and slipped them inside his briefs, digging his fingers into the meaty flesh of his arse and pulling him harder into his pelvis, making them both groan out in pleasure.

_Oh my fucking god..._

He could feel Sirius start to shake and knew they both didn’t have long. He increased his rhythm, the heat building to a crescendo whilst Sirius attacked his mouth and dug his fingers into his hair with a vengeance; their tongues crashed together violently like they were at war, and he ran his hands up Sirius’ slick lower back, knowing he was touching his _mark_ and feeling giddy, and then back down again and inside his underwear, clutching his arse as he rubbed against him. On impulse, he spread his cheeks apart and trailed his fingers lightly between them, caressing and exploring new territory for the first time.

Sirius convulsed and pulled back and James strained to find his last brain cell. “Was that okay?” he panted, desperately hoping that it was because it felt too good.

“Yes…don’t stop, _please_ ,” Sirius whined by his ear.

And so he didn’t.

He latched onto Sirius’ mouth again and continued to stroke him back and forth, letting his fingers take control whilst every part of him caught fire and threatened to combust. He rubbed the sensitive skin harder and Sirius moaned, licking into his mouth with a fervor and clenching his hand between his cheeks as he did, and James went into a frenzy, repeatedly stroking him until Sirius was squeezing his thighs around his hips like a vice, his entire body going still and rigid as time came to a stop. James' own body did the same; he curled his toes into the bed and bucked his hips up, clenching his arse and releasing, suddenly feeling warm liquid spread across his lower belly and over his bare chest, and he wasn’t even sure if it was his or Sirius’…but it didn’t matter; it was _theirs_.

“Fuck,” he gasped, still continuing to let go and ride out the waves of pleasure. 

“Holy shit,” Sirius panted by his ear, collapsing his full weight on top of him. “Holy _fucking_ shit.”

James couldn’t speak. Couldn’t move. Couldn’t formulate a single thought.

He slid his hands up Sirius’ slick back and held him tight, trying to catch his breath.

Was this death?

Was this heaven?

Some new level of nirvana?

Whatever it was, he never wanted to come back down...

He was drenched in sweat and bodily fluids and had never felt more alive.

  
***

~S~

  
Sirius felt like he was floating…or burning…or maybe drowning.

He both _could_ and _couldn’t_ feel his own body.

If this was death, he would take it.

_Gladly._

Because when James had touched him _there,_ his brain had literally exploded.

His _world_ had literally exploded.

Never to be put right again.

He was buzzing and wasn’t sure he’d ever be able to stop.

Never wanted to.

_Holy. Fucking. Shit._

And he suddenly wondered if it would be crazy to ask James to touch him there again. Just stroke him a few times…trail his fingertips over the spot…It was probably all he could stand anyways; he could barely handle it the first time. But his skin was already screaming to be touched like that again and he could even show him how he liked it…just take his hand and slide it right _there_ …right where it felt so good.

_So fucking good._

But he didn’t want to seem desperate.

_Or needy._

And he didn’t feel brave enough yet to outright ask for things…

At least not things like _that_.

But _Merlin_ he wanted them...

_So.Fucking.Bad._

Probably more than a normal human should...

But was he really _normal_ , anyway?

James hugged him tight to his body and sighed contentedly, pulling Sirius from his frazzled thoughts and back to the present moment. He closed his eyes and relaxed fully into him, letting his cares slip away.

_Maybe another time..._

  
***

~J~

“Babe?”

“Hmm?”

“It’s almost time for supper.”

“How d’you know?” Sirius slurred, his head rested on his chest.

“Because a clock just appeared on the wall.”

Sirius snorted and lifted his head up, his eyes half-closed and his sweaty hair slicked back. “Guess we better get up then,” he rasped, sending a thrill up James' spine. And then he reverently kissed the space between his pecs, the tips of his hair tickling the skin, and James closed his eyes, savoring the intimate gesture. He wished the Room could also grant them more time…or maybe even an exact repeat of what they’d just experienced…that he could re-live, over and over again. He sighed. How was it possible to feel more than he’d ever felt before? It wasn't like they'd never gotten each other off on a bed before...yet this was somehow entirely different...Entirely more thrilling. More _intense_. 

Maybe it was the magic of the Room…

_Or maybe it’s just the magic of us…_

He started to smile, feeling like a sop.

“What?” Sirius asked, sitting up and raking his fingers back through his hair.

James stared at him for a moment, mesmerized, taking in his long, raven, just-fucked hair, his sharp cheekbones and irresistible eyes, and his sexy-as-all-hell mouth that made him hard again just looking at it. He dropped his eyes to his bare, white muscular chest still slick with sweat and their combined cum, and his heart started pounding against his ribs.

Sirius Black had no fucking clue what a _god_ he was.

“Just us,” James finally said, smiling. “ _You_.”

Sirius’ red lips pulled up in a bow and his shining, perceptive eyes went dark, “Yeah, I know,” he said. “We’re pretty fucking awesome.”

And James couldn’t believe how much he looked like a real wolf. 

He felt something warm and exhilarating begin to unfold in his lower belly and smiled back, “Clearly.”

***

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 😍🐺🔥🎉


	27. It Just Kind of Happened

***

~J~

After falling asleep in the Room and nearly missing supper, they rushed into the Great Hall looking painfully disheveled, and James literally wanted to _die_ when he glanced over at the Slytherin table and noticed Snape, smirking at them with a hideous, knowing look. 

“Bloody hell, did you _see_ the _bat’s face_?” Sirius hissed into his ear as they sat down in front of Peter and Remus.

“Yes, I did,” James said through clenched teeth. He grabbed Sirius’ thigh under the table and squeezed, trying to get him to be quiet in front of their very attentive audience.

“So, um, how was tutoring?” he asked Remus, trying to act natural, but certain that their sweaty, tousled hair and swollen-lipped appearances would be a dead giveaway as to what they’d just been doing.

“It was good,” Remus replied staring back at him, his eyes momentarily flicking down to his lips.

 _Shit,_ James thought as he started to turn red. _He noticed._

“Who are you tutoring again?” Sirius asked.

“A third year Gryffindor.”

“Boy or girl?”

“Boy. Why?”

“Oh, I just thought maybe you’d gone and got yourself a _girlfriend_ ,” Sirius goaded with a smirk.

James chuckled loudly and awkwardly and Sirius nudged against his leg, shooting him a _get-ahold-of-yourself_ look.

Remus rolled his eyes and huffed. “No…I’ve not got a _girlfriend_. So do you two wanna go upstairs and talk now or what?”

James nearly choked on his pie. _God_ , Moony was relentless. But then again, they’d asked for it. He swallowed and turned towards Sirius.

Sirius nodded in approval and his heart started racing.

“Okay,” he replied, staring back at Remus.

And Peter just sat there, silently staring back and forth between them with squinted eyes.

James was the first to stand and then they all followed suit and walked behind him and out of the Great Hall.

_Why does this feel like a bloody death march?! Dear god._

***

~S~

Sirius desperately wanted to comfort James and grab hold of his hand, squeeze it and tell him that everything would work out just fine, even though he wasn’t sure that it would. Now that they were actually going through with their confessions, it all seemed so much more terrifying. His stomach was twisted in a knot.

When they arrived in the room Remus shut the door behind them with a click and James walked over to the small living area and motioned for everyone to sit down. Sirius inhaled deeply and sat down on the couch next to him whilst Remus and Peter took the chairs facing them. He shivered, unsure if it was because of his nerves or the frigid room, but regardless, he pulled out his wand and muttered “Incindio”, directing it towards the fireplace, hoping the ambiance would at least help lighten the mood.

James turned and gave him a grateful smile but Sirius didn’t miss the worry in his eyes. His heart clenched and he prayed everything would go well.

“So, the reason we want to talk to you is because…we have something we want to tell you,” James said in a strangled voice.

Sirius gripped his own thighs for support and squeezed, wishing he could disappear. “What James is _trying_ to say is that…well, something has changed…I mean…uh…between us.”

“Between _who_?” Peter blurted out, looking frantically between them. “Look, if you two don’t want to be my friend anymore, just bloody say it!”

“No…you _git_ …” Sirius hissed, swiping his hair back irritably, “between _us_ ,” he said, motioning between himself and James. 

Remus and Peter just sat there silently, wearing confused expressions as the fire crackled nosily behind them.

And then James reached out and grabbed his hand, nearly making him fly off the couch, and said, “What we _mean_ , is that…our relationship has _changed_ …and we are now _more_ than friends…”

Remus and Peter still sat there in silence, wearing blank expressions. 

“We’re TOGETHER!” Sirius nearly shouted as he squeezed James’ hand and briefly held it up in the air like it was some kind of proof.

“WHAT?” Remus exclaimed, his eyes going wide.

“I still don’t understand!” Peter screeched, his beady eyes full of panic. “WHAT IS GOING ON?!”

James looked to Sirius with a baffled expression, his mouth hanging open.

“We’re a couple…” Sirius half whispered, staring back into his eyes.

“A couple of _what_?” Peter snapped, now standing up with his hands on his hips.

“You bloody RAT! We.Are.In.Love. How much _clearer_ do I need to make this?! Christ!” Sirius bellowed.

Remus still sat there with furrowed brows, his arms crossed over his chest.

“Remus?” James said, “Do _you_ understand what we’re saying?”

“Yes, I think I do!” he hissed, suddenly jumping up and turning around, facing the fire.

“Well?”

“Well? How do you expect me to take this?” Remus said whipping around again, his eyes glassy.

“Well, I didn’t think you’d be _mad_ …” James said furrowing his brows and shrugging.

Peter continued to stare at them like some sort of strange creatures at the zoo.

“Wormtail, stop gawking!” Sirius barked, and James quickly grabbed his thigh. “Calm down, babe,” he whispered.

Remus’ eyes flicked to where James’ hand was rested. “I’m not mad…I’m just…I don’t bloody know what I am…shocked… _confused_ …”

“Disgusted?” James whispered.

“No… _maybe_ …I don’t know. This is just _weird_!”

“Yeah, we know. That’s why we’re telling you…so it’s not even more awkward and unexpected _later on_ ,” James said, leaning forward with his elbows rested on his knees. “Look, if it’s any consolation, it surprised us, too. It’s not like we planned this… _it just kind of happened_.”

“What do you mean, ‘it just kind of happened’?” Remus scoffed, turning red all the way to the tips of his ears. “You don’t just chase after a girl for _six bloody years_ and then all the sudden fall in love with your best mate…” He closed his eyes and pinched the bridge of his nose.

“Well, you have a right to be confused…I was, too. I _really_ thought I wanted Lily all those years, but then my perspective shifted over the holidays, and I realized chasing after her was just a game…and that I’d been suppressing my true feelings all along.”

Remus chewed on his lip. “And what about you?” he said, snapping his head up towards Sirius.

Sirius jerked. “I…uh…I’ve been aware of my feelings for James for a very long time.”

“Really? And what about all the girls you’ve been with? A new one every week? Snogging the whole damn school!”

“HEY!” James barked, jumping up from the couch. “You have no right to talk to him like that!”

Sirius winced and stood up next to him. “Look, I know my behavior doesn’t make sense…but none of that meant anything to me. It was a game…a filler…a way to bury my true feelings,” he faded off, glancing up at James and desperately wishing he could erase the past.

Remus huffed and shook his head. “Do I even know you two at all? How long has this been going on? What _else_ don’t I know?”

“Yeah!” Peter chimed in awkwardly, and they all turned to glare at him. He hastily looked down, fiddling with his fingers.

“We told you, our relationship started over the holidays and caught us _both_ by surprise. And _of course_ you know us. We’re exactly the same as we’ve always been…well, except that we don’t fancy girls and never really did…And no, there are no other secrets,” James stated.

Sirius glanced up at him and bit his lip, immediately thinking about the Room of Requirement. But that was just one secret they would have to keep. At least for _now_.

Remus sighed deeply, his shoulders slumping. “This…this is just a lot to process. It’s gonna take some time…”

“We understand,” James said, “but we want you two to know that we’re still the same and you don’t have to be awkward around us. Nothing is changing in regards to the Marauders…we’re still a team. Things might be a bit rocky at first as we all figure out how to adjust to _this_ …but at the end of the day, we’re all still best mates.”

“Yeah,” Remus said staring off in a daze, not sounding very convinced.

“And we promise we won’t do anything in front of you that makes you uncomfortable,” Sirius added. “And if you ever are, just tell us. Eventually, we’d like to be more…erm… _affectionate_ …to at least have this room as a safe space…but if you aren’t okay with that we’ll understand.”

“You mean you might just start snogging right in front of us?” Peter asked, his eyes growing to the size of a cheese wheel and his mouth opening wide.

“No, Wormtail…we’d never do that…not unless you were totally okay with it,” James sighed. “Right now, let’s just focus on adjusting to the _idea_ of our relationship.”

“Remus? Any more questions?” Sirius asked quietly, worried they’d lost him.

“No…I think I’m good for now,” he said swallowing hard. “But I’ll let you know…and thanks…for explaining what was going on. A lot of things make sense now.”

James sighed and rocked back on his heels. “We don’t want to keep secrets from you, mate. This was just a bloody _difficult_ one to explain.”

“Yeah, I can see that now,” Remus said, staring down at the floor.

“Well, why don’t we all take a break and let this sink in,” James said, clasping his hands together as if they’d just finished a rather productive business meeting.

Sirius smirked up at him and shook his head, thinking that maybe James was the true mediator of their group all along. 

“Sounds good,” Remus muttered, heading for the door.

Peter scrunched his face and followed after him, and Sirius wondered if he still didn’t have a clue what was going on.

Once they’d left the room, James collapsed on the sofa, exhaling loudly.

“Well, that went…” Sirius said, shaking his head, “well, I’m not exactly sure _how_ that went but I’m sure it could have been worse…”

James reached out for him, holding his hands in the air without a word, and then he leaned his head back on the couch and closed his eyes. Sirius didn’t even hesitate to crawl on his lap and straddle his hips. He wrapped his arms around his neck and nuzzled against his face, feeling his heart swell against his chest.

James embraced him, hugging him tight and wrapping his arms fully around his back. “God…” he groaned, "I can’t believe that really happened.”

Sirius nestled closer, resting his elbows on the back of the couch and placing his mouth next to James’ ear. “Love, you did so good…We did it…we _really_ did it.” He drug his fingers back through his hair, entwining them in the soft curls.

James sighed and leaned his head back again, looking up at him and sliding his hands down to his hips. “I love you,” he breathed out.

And Sirius felt a lump in his throat. He would never get tired of hearing it, or the look of sincerity in James’ eyes. “I love you, too,” he replied. “And we’ll get through this...now that they know, we’ll hopefully have even more freedom…”

“I hope so,” James sighed, squeezing his hips lightly. “I’m spent. That was bloody exhausting.”

“I know it was. But it’s over and done with and I think Remus will come round.”

“Hopefully.”

“He will, you’ll see. He just needs time to process.” Though in Sirius’ heart, he wasn’t entirely sure. He’d never seen Moony quite so angry.

“I can’t believe he took that tone with you, though. I almost smacked him,” James said.

Sirius smirked before placing a kiss on his temple, “Really, now? You’d punch Moony to defend my honor?”

“That and so much more,” James said, clutching his hips tighter and staring in his eyes. “You saw what happened with Crabbe and Goyle…”

“True…you got a black eye and busted lip for _me_ ,” Sirius purred, rubbing his hands up and down his chest. James shuddered and closed his eyes. “Soon we’ll be sharing a bed again,” Sirius whispered by his ear, and then he slid his mouth lower and started trailing languid kisses down his throat, tasting salt from their previous escapades.

“Mmm,” James noised.

“Soon, I’ll have your cock in my mouth.”

“Wh-what?” James sputtered, his eyes popping open.

“Just wanted to see if you were still listening, love,” Sirius snickered. “I wouldn’t do anything so scandalous here. At least not _yet_.”

“Good…because I don’t think Moony and Wormtail are quite ready for _that_.”

“Well, maybe they just need to be introduced to it quickly and all at once.”

“You _would_ think that,” James muttered, closing his eyes again and squeezing a handful of his arse.

“And why would _I_ think that?”

“Because you like scandal…and cocks,” he said with a deep chuckle.

“Only yours, love. Only yours. I’m afraid none other would satisfy.”

“How do you know if you’ve never compared?”

“Don’t need to. Yours is superior. It’s a fact...” Sirius trailed off, and then he shook his head. “How did we even get onto this subject?”

“You started it…something about _my_ cock…in _your_ mouth.”

“Oh, yes…well I suppose that will just have to wait. We should probably behave ourselves tonight.” 

“Like we _behaved_ in the Room?” James murmured, straining up for his mouth.

Sirius smirked and stroked his face tenderly, “No, not like in the _Room_. We should probably go downstairs and prove that we’re still _us_.”

“Fine,” James huffed. “But I want a rain check.”

“I’ll write you as many as you want,” Sirius breathed, staring deeply in his eyes and suddenly feeling lightheaded.

_God, why does he have to be so bloody perfect?_

In an instant, James gripped the nape of his neck and pulled him down, smashing their lips together and growling as they made contact, an invisible fire swelling around them. Sirius gripped onto his face and kissed him back just as hungrily, his heart beating wildly.

“Hey, what about downstairs?” James panted, pulling back. 

“What? _You_ started this…just a few more minutes,” Sirius whined, leaning down and placing a kiss by the corner of his mouth, and then he placed one on his cheekbone and another on his brow…

James’ eyes fluttered shut. “Okay, a few more minutes,” he said, pulling their mouths back together.

~~~

Eventually, they _did_ make it downstairs, but their newly disheveled appearances, soppy grins, and flushed faces only caused to confirm suspicions that things had indeed changed. Massively.

Peter eyed them shrewdly over the top of his magazine and Remus shook his head in disapproval before stalking out of the room in a huff. 

_So much for putting them at ease. Fuck._

***

~J~

And “Full Moon Duty” the next day didn’t prove any easier.

“He’s not taking this any better,” James thought-spoke to Sirius as they were running through the Forbidden Forest after Remus, breaking branches and scattering snow as they went.

“Just give him time…”

James sprung into the air, expertly clearing a fallen tree, and continued running.

It was thrilling to be back in his stag form and inhaling the sweet smells of the forest; feeling the earth under his hooves and the moonlight on his back. It’d been over a month since he’d last changed.

Remus howled further on up ahead and they increased their speed. He could hear Peter down on the ground below, squeaking and darting about as he tried to keep up with them whilst avoiding being trampled under hoof and paw. 

They stopped when they came to a stream. James stuck his snout in the water and quickly whipped it back out in a hurry. “It’s bloody freezing!” he yelped.

“It is ice-melt,” Sirius sighed standing next to him, the moonlight shining off his dark, shaggy coat.

James snorted and pawed at the snow. “Hey, what does this remind you of?” he asked, rearing up on his hind legs and pawing at the air dramatically. 

Sirius laughed. “The picture I made for you.”

“Exactly,” James chuckled, landing back down on the ground.

Remus howled again and they whipped their heads up in his direction.

“I think we need to coax him back to the Whomping Willow,” Sirius said. “As cross as he is, I don’t trust him out here. There’s no telling what he might do.”

“Afraid he might get an appetite for mangy black dogs?” James asked, cocking his head to the side and suddenly remembering just how heavy his rack of antlers was.

“Or arrogant stags…”

They both chuckled and jumped over the stream.

~~~

“It’s fucking cold,” Sirius shivered, pulling his coat back on with chattering teeth.

James watched him from the opposite corner of the room, wrapping his scarf back around his neck.

They’d made it back underground, safe and sound under the Whomping Willow, where they’d been waiting until sunrise to change back.

“Well, thanks,” Remus muttered, yanking his boot on and standing up, refusing to look at either of them.

Peter chewed on his nails in silence, his puffy coat practically doubling his size.

James flicked his eyes to Sirius, unsure what to say.

Sirius just shrugged and then walked over to Remus, laying his hand atop his shoulder. “We’ll always have your back, mate. That won’t change,” he said, before walking out of the room.

James watched as Remus’ shoulders slumped and a sad expression crossed his face.

_Maybe he’s more hurt than we realize…_

He hurried to catch up with Sirius.

“Well, we survived it,” Sirius muttered, pressing into his side and making his heart beat faster as they walked through the tunnel. James wanted to wrap his arm around him but abstained for Remus' sake. He wasn’t sure how close behind them he was.

“Yeah…I guess.”

“What?”

“I think Moony’s pretty hurt and we should probably take it easier on him…” he whispered.

Sirius huffed. “Yeah, I know…I’ll try. He hasn’t made it easy though.”

James chewed on his lip. “I think he might be afraid of losing us…we’re really all he has, you know.”

“What about Peter?”

“He doesn’t really count.”

Sirius snorted and jabbed him in the side.

“C’mon,” James said, tugging him along with a grin. “It’s bloody freezing and I think you definitely need a shower. You smell like a dog.”

Sirius barked out a laugh and punched him in the arm. “Hey! And you smell like—“

“Like what? A stag? One of nature’s most noble, _majestic_ creatures…”

“Well, I was going to say _smelly old socks_ …but sure.”

James laughed heartily, “Well if I smell anything like _your_ socks after Quidditch practice, then yeah, I guess I do…” 

“You arse!” Sirius bellowed, chasing after him through the snow.

James took off running for the castle, grinning and laughing the entire way.

***

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 😍❄️🦌❤️🐺🧦🧦😂


	28. Slugs at a Party

***

~J~

The next few days were almost unbearably awkward _._

 _So much for putting the truth out there,_ James thought, as he caught Peter staring at him, _yet again_ , before quickly turning around and acting as if he’d just been caught with his hand in the cookie jar (or in his case, the _cheese_ cart).

Sirius nudged him in the side, making him jump. “Stop glaring at Wormtail, love,” he hissed under his breath.

“But he was _staring_ again,” James whined.

“Doesn’t matter. Don’t give him the satisfaction.”

“The satisfaction of _what_?”

“Of seeing you act any differently. He’s just a git and doesn’t understand what’s going on. I’m starting to regret ever telling him…I honestly don’t know if we can trust him not to blab.”

“Really? And you’re just _now_ telling me this?” James asked, scrunching his brows.

“It’s just…Wormy’s always been so _desperate_ to fit in…Have you never noticed how much he sucks up to you?”

“No, I guess not. But who would he tell anyway? We’re his only friends.”

“Yeah…I dunno,” Sirius said, chewing on his lip. “I just think we should be extra careful around him.”

“Great. One more person we have to look out for…”

“Something to add Mr. Potter?” Professor Slughorn asked as the rest of the class turned back to look at him.

“Uh…no Sir… _Professor_ , I mean.”

“Come, come now, I’m sure it was _very_ interesting,” Slughorn said cocking an eyebrow.

James noticed Snape staring at him, a smug smile hanging from his thin lips.

_That greasy bat…I swear to god…_

Sirius kicked him under the table and spoke up. “Actually, Professor, he was just wondering when you’d be throwing one of your _special_ dinner parties.”

James whipped his head around to stare at him, his mouth falling open.

_What?!_

And Sirius just sat there, wearing a smug smile and staring straight ahead.

“Ah! The dinner party! Yes, yes my good fellow, I will be throwing one shortly! How nice of you to remember, James. Please, stay after class and I’ll give you more information—and that invitation goes to anyone else who would be interested in a little social gathering to discuss…uh… _academia_ etc.,” he said with a wink and a flamboyant twirl of his hands.

Sirius turned towards him and smiled triumphantly, his blue eyes sparkling.

“You little shit,” James hissed, trying to keep a serious face. “I’ll get you for that later,” he said, unable to contain his grin.

“Oh, I hope so,” Sirius whispered, swiping his pink tongue seductively over his bottom lip.

James just stared at him, feeling the small gesture literally ignite his groin. He adjusted himself in his trousers and flushed, staring down at his potions book and trying to remember how to breathe.

 _Keep it in your pants…keep it in your pants_ … 

When class ended he was almost out the door before Professor Slughorn called him back.

“James! Don’t forget your invitation, dear boy!”

He cringed and turned around.

“Oh, right!” he said, heading reluctantly to the front of the class. He shot a glare over his shoulder at Sirius, who was waiting for him by the door, wearing an insufferable, smug grin.

And then he looked around, immediately noticing that no one else had stayed for an invitation, and he wanted to laugh, yet he also felt rather sorry for the Professor…Clearly, his efforts to round up the _best and brightest_ had backfired.

“The gathering this week will be held on Friday at seven o’clock sharp, my young man. Dress attire is _required_ and do bring a date. I’m sure there are _plenty_ of young ladies who’d _love_ to be seen on your robust arm,” Slughorn said with a devious chuckle as he eyed him up and down.

James winced at the thought of it.

“Right…Well, there is Quidditch…”

“No, no my boy that will not work as an excuse this time as you don’t have a match until _next_ week,” Slughorn said, tapping his nose with his finger as if he were emptying it of snuff.

“Uh…Right…”

“I’ll be inviting Lily Evans as well as Severus Snape and a few other _select_ students, so I dare say you’ll be in good company.”

James just stared at him blankly, as if he’d just said a hoard of flobberworms would be attending and that he should be _delighted_.

“Well, that’s…fantastic. Alright, I’ll mark my calendar.”

“Wonderful! Remember—Friday, seven o’clock at my personal quarters.”

“See you then!” he said as he headed for the doorway, desperate to get out of the room. He glared pointedly at Sirius and walked right past him.

“Well, was that so bad?”

“You prick.”

“Hey, I saved your arse!”

“How’s that?” James snapped, turning towards him and crossing his arms.

Sirius darted his eyes around the hallway anxiously, and then reached up and tenderly stroked his hair back from his face, tucking a strand behind his ear and lightly running his fingertips across his jaw.

_Mother of god..._

James automatically closed his eyes and leaned into his hand, exhaling.

“Look, love, we were about to get into trouble for not paying attention in class, for the _millionth_ bloody time…and sucking up to Slughorn was the only way out. Where’s the harm in that?” Sirius asked softly, peering up at him with large, blue eyes. 

And James instantly melted, completely forgetting what he was ever so mad about in the first place. “I…uh…I dunno.”

Sirius smirked. “C’mon, we’re gonna be late for Transfiguration,” he said, tugging his hand and pulling him forward.

James followed him like a puppy on a leash, soppy grin and all.

 _Yep, I’m totally whipped_.

***

~J~

Somehow, the week flew by and before they knew it, it was Friday and time for Slughorn’s dreaded party. It was the last thing anyone wanted to do, especially after an exhausting week of Quidditch practice and grueling lessons. 

“You know, if you wouldn’t have made us practice so _bloody hard,_ I might actually be able to bend my arms _without_ wanting to cry,” Sirius muttered as he pulled a white undershirt down over his bare stomach and grimaced.

James looked up at him and gaped, his eyes narrowing to his taut abs and protruding hipbones; he licked his lips, and then noticed Peter, eyeing him from across the room, and quickly looked away.

He cleared his throat. “Look, you don’t have to go with me…I can always find a _lady_ as Slughorn suggested.”

“Like hell you will!” Sirius spat as he roughly tucked his undershirt into his trousers.

James just smirked at him and zipped his fly.

“Oh,” Remus exclaimed as he walked into the room, “you two are _both_ going?”

“Uh, yeah…I thought you knew that,” James said frowning.

“Well, I thought you might bring a _real_ date,” Remus scowled. 

His body went rigid. “Look, Remus, I don’t know how else to make you understand this…but we _are_ a couple. I don’t want a _girl_ ,” he said through clenched teeth.

_When is Moony gonna get it?!_

“So you’re just gonna waltz right into the party, holding hands and canoodling?”

“Merlin! No, we aren’t gonna do that! We don’t want anyone else to know, you git. I thought I’d made that perfectly clear. And when have we _ever_ canoodled in front of you, anyway?”

Remus pursed his lips and stared at him, the awkward tension filling the room.

James balled his fists.

They’d been especially careful that week to keep their hands off of each other just so as not to upset Remus or Peter. They hadn’t even had time to visit the _Room_ , or even a broom cupboard for that matter, and he was just at his wits end with the whole ordeal. The sexual tension had now become an unbearable, daily ache they were learning to live with…though not _happily_ , and because of it, he constantly felt liable to snap. Why was Moony torturing them?! Why couldn’t things just go back to the way they were?!

“Fine,” Remus spat. “I have to go pick up Matilda at Ravenclaw, so I guess I’ll just see you there.”

James rolled his eyes exasperatedly and crossed his arms over his chest, glancing over at Sirius with a _can-you-believe-this-guy?!_ expression. 

“Who wants to go to some stupid old party anyway?” Peter yelled before stomping out of the room and slamming the door.

“I swear to god I’m gonna…” Sirius started to say, flexing his fingers at his sides and clenching his jaw.

“You’re gonna _what_?” James purred, moving towards him and starting to grin.

“I…I’m gonna smack that rat…” Sirius trailed off, peering up at him as he towered over him. James smirked—oh how he loved their height differences!—and reached out and gripped him by the shoulders. He stared in his eyes for a beat and then roughly pulled him into his body, enveloping him in his arms.

Sirius immediately relaxed and sighed, leaning completely into him. “Love, I’m dying…” he croaked.

“I know…me, too,” James whispered by his ear, inhaling his hair and feeling dizzy.

“I thought Moony would have come round by now…” Sirius murmured, resting his head on his chest and running his hands up and down his back.

James sighed. “I guess he just needs more time to adjust…But I’m still not exactly sure _why_ he’s mad…I mean, it’s not like he didn’t keep a massive secret from us for _years_.”

“And we had to figure that out on our own,” Sirius breathed as they began to sway back and forth.

“Yeah, I dunno. Maybe he really is offended.”

“By our love?” Sirius asked, leaning back to look up at him.

“Well, I’m not sure he sees it like that. More like our _unnatural_ relationship…”

“If anything’s unnatural it’s _him_!” Sirius spat, his blue eyes going wild.

James tried not to laugh. “Don’t be too hard on him, babe. Sometimes we’re so blinded by certain things…we don’t even see what _we_ are.”

Sirius went quiet for a moment, chewing on his lip.

“You mean like how you thought you wanted Lily, when really you wanted _me_?”

“Right,” James said, his lips curling up into a grin.

Sirius pressed his hands against his chest and pushed up on his toes, straining for his mouth.

James’ heart beat faster and he pulled him up by the scruff and kissed him hard, smashing their lips together and feeling something delicious and hot begin to unwind in his lower belly.

_God, I’ve missed this…Missed you..._

Sirius melted into him like always, making his heart rate absolutely soar and his brain go out the window. He slid his hands down to grip his arse, relishing the way his trousers perfectly hugged it, and squeezed possessively, pulling him up against his groin and desperately wishing he could remove the fabric between them.

“Ah,” Sirius hissed, clutching his biceps tighter.

James flexed and deepened the kiss, his cock now as hard as a rock. “Merlin,” he gasped, pulling back and feeling drunk, “we’ve gotta stop or we’ll never make it to the party. My dick can’t take anymore.”

Sirius snickered and slid his hands down to his hips, pulling him even harder against himself. “Well, for the sake of your dick…”

“You’re gonna kill me,” James said, letting go of him and raking his hair back. He walked determinedly towards the dresser with flared nostrils, trying to put some distance between them.

“James, we’ve gotta go to the _Room_ or I’m gonna combust!” Sirius blurted out.

“Same,” he said in a strangled voice, rifling through his drawer and looking for his black belt.

“How about tomorrow?”

“Okay.”

“Will you check with Snivellus tonight and see what time we can use it?” Sirius asked, his tone desperate. 

“Yes,” James replied turning back around. “Though, the smugness of that bat is almost more than I can stand,” he said through gritted teeth.

“I know…he’s positively _ghastly_. But just think of me…and the room…and the _bed_ …” Sirius whined, walking towards him.

“Don’t start that or I’ll never calm down,” James huffed, backing away and running his hand over his fly.

Sirius bit his bottom lip and stared up at him.

_Jesus!_

“And don’t do _that_ either,” he snapped, feeling like he was just one lip lick away from explosion. Now he’d have to avoid looking at his mouth for the entire evening.

“Oh, alright,” Sirius huffed, crossing his arms.

~~~

When they arrived at Slughorn’s party they were surprised to see more students there than they’d expected. Of course Lily and Snivellus were already there, along with Remus and his date Matilda Pennyworth (a Ravenclaw he tutored). There were also a few Hufflepuffs piling their plates high with appetizers whilst a Slytherin boy and girl James didn’t know, sat in the corner and glared at everyone else.

All in all, it was a not so cheery party of ten, not including Slughorn.

“James! My dear boy! You’ve made it and brought…a _friend_. How nice,” Slughorn said, his splotchy face falling as he saw Sirius. “I take it no young ladies took you up on your offer?”

“Oh, um…Well, Sirius is my best mate and he wanted to come…so you know, bros before…um,” he cleared his throat and forced a smile, feeling his face turn red.

“Ha! Quite the cheeky one! I like it!” Slughorn said whacking him on the back and beaming.

“Now, you have to tell me all about your _brilliant_ plans for the Quidditch season, my boy. I have no doubt you’ll be going places. No doubt at all,” he said with a covetous gleam in his grey eyes.

James sighed and plastered on a smile.

_Merlin, help me…_

***

~S~  
  


Sirius wiped his sweaty palms down the sides of his black slacks and looked around the room for a savior.

But there were none.

Snivellus and Lily were having some kind of stare down with each other…Remus was completely ignoring him, focusing all of his attention on his date, Matilda, instead…And the Hufflepuffs and Slytherins weren’t even worth a second glance.

“Right, right, everyone gather round the table and find your seats!” Slughorn bellowed, making him flinch.

 _The old bastard’s already plastered_ , he thought with a sneer.

“I can assure you this will be the very _best_ meal you’ve ever had at Hogwarts as I’ve asked the house elves to whip up something _extra special_ just for us,” Slughorn beamed.

They all moved to gather round the mahogany table and James hastily pulled out his chair for him and stood behind it, like an attentive boyfriend, and then just as quickly sat down, blushing fiercely whilst fiddling with his silverware.

Sirius felt the back of his neck grow hot.

_Goddamn it, James!_

He promptly sat down and stared at the white table cloth, praying no one had noticed James' small, intimate gesture. He flicked his eyes up and noticed Lily staring at him. She smiled, her cheeks flushing, but he quickly averted his eyes, too embarrassed to respond. At least he didn’t have to worry about her telling anyone else.

“Let the feast begin!” Slughorn exclaimed, clasping his plump hands together.

***

~J~

And course after course of unique and decadent foods were placed in front of them, and they all smelled just as wonderful as they looked. From creamy soups to Shepherd’s Pies, to boiled potatoes, buttered peas, treacle tarts, and fresh bread—the options were endless and the smells overwhelming. 

And as awkward as the whole ordeal was, James had to admit that the food was pretty amazing…Slughorn had even given them wine!

But every time Sirius deliberately rubbed against his leg, or even _touched_ him for that matter, he feared he might literally flip the table.

_You’re gonna kill me, you wanker!_

He slid his hand under the table cloth and gripped Sirius’ thigh, wrapping his fingers around the muscle and squeezing tightly.

Sirius immediately froze, his eyes widening as he stared down at his plate.

And then James patted him three times, which had become their secret code for “I love you” and smiled.

Sirius relaxed slightly and started to grin.

“And here comes the dessert,” Slughorn slurred, his face now a deep shade of maroon from all the wine he’d been consuming.

James smirked at him, not sure if he was truly drunk on the wine or the amount of _attention_ he’d been receiving. _Collecting_ was his hobby, after all, and tonight he’d certainly had his fill.

“You must try the puffed…puffed pastries! They are simply _divine_!” he bellowed and then hiccupped loudly.

Lily barked out a laugh and then quickly covered her mouth, turning as red as her hair. Snape wore a hint of a smile and then quickly contained it, going back to his usual, expressionless self.

And James didn’t think he could fit any more food into his stomach, but the sight of the buttery pastries dripping with chocolate was too much for him. He would _make_ room for them if he had to...

And then he thought of _other things_ covered in chocolate and he gulped and stiffened in his seat. He could feel sweat forming on his brow. It was like the “Chocolate Cake” incident all over again.

“What?” Sirius asked, chewing his puffed pastry and staring at him with a confused look.

James grabbed his wine glass and promptly gulped it down in a frenzy, feeling as hot as a furnace. And when he sat the goblet back down on the table and turned to look at Sirius, his eyes widened to capacity. 

There was a dab of chocolate lingering at the corner of his mouth.

_Fucking hell!_

He was going to explode in his pants.

“No,” was all he could get out in a strangled voice, trying to look at anything but that _goddamn mouth_.

“What?” Sirius asked again, turning more fully towards him, a worried expression clouding his gorgeous, chocolate-covered face.

“MERLIN!” James yelped before abruptly scooting his chair back and bolting from the room like a broom on fire.

***


	29. Bubble and Squeak

***

~S~

Everyone at the table whipped their heads up and watched in shock as James ran out the door.

Sirius stopped chewing his food and gaped.

_What the fuck?_

“What’s gotten into that boy?” Slughorn slurred as he swayed in his seat, his grey eyes bulging.

“Uh, I think he just had a little too much to eat…” he replied, still staring at the door.

“Ah, yes, it does happen to the best of us… _gluttony_ ,” Slughorn hiccuped before gulping down another glass of wine.

“Right,” Sirius breathed, flicking his eyes up to the table and realizing that everyone was watching him.

He flushed, feeling his palms grow sweaty.

Snape raised both his eyebrows and Lily just sat there with her mouth open.

He swallowed hard and wiped his mouth with the back of his hand. “I’ll…uh just go check on him,” he said as he slid his chair back and stood up, feeling all of their eyes boring into his back as he walked out the door.

Once outside, he stood in the hallway for a moment and leaned against the cool stone wall, taking deep breaths and feeling relief wash over him.

He was finally free.

But where was James?

“Sirius? Is that you?” a voice hissed from the darkness.

“James? What in the _bloody hell_ happened?” he asked as he walked towards the dark alcove.

Suddenly, a pair of large hands reached out and gripped him by the collar, yanking him forward.

“What the—“ but he didn’t get to finish his sentence, because James had smashed their lips together and shoved him up against the wall, pressing his entire body against him.

Sirius pushed back, breathing hard, “What’s gotten into you? You smell like a liquor cabinet!”

“You,” James hissed, gripping the nape of his neck and trying to pull their mouths back together again.

“Me? _How?”_

“The chocolate…on your face,” he said between sloppy kisses.

“ _That_ made you run from the room like a bloody lunatic?”

“Yes…I pictured it on your body…all over…like before…and I nearly lost it.”

“Oh,” was all he could say.

Yes, James had most definitely lost his marbles...

But that was more than okay.

Sirius flung his arms around his neck and kissed him deeply, _hungrily_ , like he’d been dying to all week whilst James’ hard-as-a-rock dick throbbed against his own. “We have to go to…the _Room_ ,” he panted between fervent kisses.

“I know…but we don’t know _when_ ,” James breathed, pushing him against the wall harder and ripping his collar open, placing hungry, wet kisses down his exposed throat.

Sirius writhed against him, quite ready to get down and dirty in the shadows if need be; the spiders wouldn’t stop him this time. He clutched onto James’ belt and started frantically undoing the metal latch.

And then a sound echoed in the hallway and they both flinched.

“James? Sirius?”

“It’s Lily,” James hissed as he pushed away from him and leaned against the opposite wall, panting.

Sirius smoothed his hair back, checked his fly, and then walked out into the corridor.

“Lily?”

“Oh, um…hi. I came to check on James. What’s going on? Is he sick?”

“Uh…in a _way_.”

“Lily?”

 _Great, the bat’s here, too…_ He thought. _We’ll all just have a fucking party._

Snape walked up to Lily and clutched her forearm possessively. “Having a little _party_ out in the hall, are we?” he asked dully. 

And Sirius’ breath caught, suddenly wondering if the bat had heard his thoughts. “What do you think, Snivellus?” he spat, clenching his fists at his sides.

“I think you’ll show some respect if you want access to the _Room_.”

And Sirius was just about to lunge towards him and start swinging his arms, when James appeared, placing his hand on the small of his back and reining him in.

“It’s fine. I just had too much to eat,” James said wiping the sweat off his brow, now looking thoroughly disheveled and pale.

_Maybe he really is sick…Shit._

“Right,” Snape said looking him up and down with pursed lips.

And Sirius nearly lost it yet again.

“C’mon Sev, let’s go back inside,” Lily urged, tugging on his sleeve, and as soon as the bat relinquished his death-stare with James and looked down at her, he suddenly looked like an entirely different person.

Sirius couldn’t help but notice the disgusting, soppy look that came over his black eyes; the slight parting of his lips and hitch of his breath, and the way his body turned towards hers and held as if magnetized.

If he didn’t despise them so much, the scene might have been endearing. “Might” being the operative word.

 _He’s bloody whipped,_ he thought to himself, starting to smirk. _The bat definitely has a weak spot_. 

“Wait!” James blurted out, causing the pair to turn back and look at him. “When can we use the _Room_?”

Snape tapped his long fingers on his pointed chin and stared off into the distance, as if his pathetic schedule was so bloody _extensive_. “Tomorrow…five until midnight.”

“Bloody hell!” Sirius bellowed. “How long do you need to be in there?!”

“That’s _our_ business,” Snape said, narrowing his eyes to slits. “Just be glad you have access at all.”

“Look here you beady-eyed bastard, we can get in there any damn time we want—“

James grabbed his arm and squeezed, cutting him off. “Thank you. And can you please tell the Professor I had to retire due to my… _overindulgence_?” he asked blushing.

“Yes, we will,” Lily piped in before Snape could say something snide, and then they turned abruptly and walked away.

“Great, just _great_ ,” Sirius said, pacing back and forth, dragging his hands through his hair. “That bloody bat…I swear to fucking god…” he muttered to himself, his blood now boiling over. He continued to pace “…an Acid Pop…where the sun don’t shine…” and then he stopped and turned to look at James, who was currently doubled over and leaning against the wall.

“James?”

“I think…I think I really _am_ sick…” he moaned, clutching his stomach, his face looking positively green.

“Wha—how?”

“I ate too much… _way_ too much…and I downed that whole fucking glass of wine in one go…It was so bloody awkward in there…and I-AM-SO-FUCKING-HORNY!” he wheezed, squatting down and pressing his hands onto the stone floor.

And Sirius had to bite the inside of his cheek to keep from bursting out laughing. He’d never seen James quite like this.

So hilariously pitiful.

He couldn’t help but think that he looked just like a frog. A sick, overstuffed, inebriated one—but _still_.

“Bloody hell…we need to get you to a toilet,” he said, grabbing hold of his arm and tugging, pulling him up to standing.

“Ugh,” James groaned as they started shuffling forward with Sirius carrying most of his weight, now despising his bulging muscles and gloriously large frame.

“I can’t believe you really made yourself sick,” he grunted, straining to move him along, feeling as if they’d only just gained a few inches. 

“Well, look at the bright side…” James slurred, “at least we got to leave early…” and then he started chuckling.

“Yeah, so you can go _puke_ ,” Sirius wheezed. “Have you ever drunk that much in your life? That goblet was bloody massive…Probably part of the Slug’s plan all along…lure us down into his cavern and…Wait, isn’t the Prefect’s bathroom near here?”

“Hmm?”

Sirius huffed and puffed and kept dragging him along as the people in the portraits observed them with disapproving faces, whispering and shaking their heads the entire way. “Aw, sod off!” he hissed, causing one satin-clad, snobbish looking lady to nearly jump out of frame. She pursed her red lips and glared daggers at him.

“H-here it is,” he panted a few moments later as he pulled James up by his pants.

They were standing in front of the statue of Boris the Bewildered; a wizard who wore his gloves on the wrong hands and continually stared forward with a lost look on his face—probably similar to how James was looking at that very moment, he thought.

Only Prefects, Head Boys and Girls and Quidditch captains were allowed in this special bathroom, and a password was required in order to gain admittance. 

“Bloody hell…what’s the fucking password…” he wheezed, nearly collapsing under James’ weight.

“B-bubble…”

“What?”

“B-bubble and…”

“Oh right! Bubble and squeak!” he exclaimed, causing the secret door to instantly slide open. He pulled James in and unceremoniously dropped him on the edge of the enormous stone tub at the center of the room; it was practically a mini swimming pool, complete with a small diving board and all.

He looked up to see the portrait of the prissy, stained-glass mermaid, sleeping on her rock and blowing bubbles. She opened one eye and then flinched, before frantically brushing her long red hair with a pink shell comb.

Sirius frowned, realizing just how much she looked like Lily. “Bloody hell. Just can’t get away from her…” he muttered.

“Ugh,” James moaned as he rested his elbows on his knees and lurched forward.

Sirius quickly grabbed him by the arm and drug him to the nearest toilet where James promptly fell to his knees and let out a miserable groan. 

“Just do what you need to do, love,” he said as he anxiously stood behind him.

James heaved and panted and managed to expel the majority of his meal before slumping to the ground and collapsing on his back. “God,” he moaned, throwing his hand over his eyes, “this is _not_ how I ever wanted you to see me…”

Sirius sighed and knelt down beside him, brushing his sweaty hair back and running his thumb over his brow. “It’s okay, love. I don’t mind. Really.”

“I feel so gross,” James muttered.

Sirius stared at him for a moment, thinking, and then flicked his eyes towards the tub.

“Hey, I have an _idea_.”

“S’ it involve me moving?”

“Well, yes but not very far.”

“How far?”

“To the tub.”

James’ removed his hand from his face and fluttered his eyes open. “The tub?”

“Yes, the tub.”

“You mean…”

“Yes.”

James sat up quickly and had to steady himself with his hands.

“Take it easy,” Sirius said, and then he stood up and held out both of his hands to him. “C’mon, let’s get you up.”

After walking James across the room and sitting him down on the edge of the tub, he felt the back of his neck prickle, as if someone were watching them. He looked up to see the mermaid, lounging on her rock, observing them with a shrewd expression as she continued to comb out her hair. “Christ,” he grumbled. “I wish _she’d_ go away.”

“She won’t tell,” James muttered, a sly grin spreading up his pale face.

Sirius just stared at him.

_Sick as a dog and he’s still horny as fuck…Why am I surprised?_

He shook his head and walked over towards the faucets—there were only about a _million_ of them—and just started turning all the knobs, not sure which ones did what. Instantly, multi-colored pastel water started pouring into the massive tub and filling it up.

“That’s a lot of fucking bubbles,” he muttered, eyeing the giant mound of rainbow colored suds steadily rising towards the ceiling.

“Mmm smells good,” James sighed, “…like roses,” he murmured, before nearly falling backwards into the water.

Sirius lunged forward and grabbed him by the shoulders, holding onto him tightly. “Okay, now we get naked.”

“Naked?”

“Well, yeah. Unless you wanna get in fully clothed?”

“But what if someone comes in?” James asked, his eyes going wide.

“Very doubtful. But if they do, what’s so strange about two blokes taking a leisurely bubble bath together at midnight?” he chuckled. “And you _are_ a Quidditch captain, so it’s not like you aren’t allowed in here.”

“True.”

“C’mon, let’s get you undressed,” he huffed as he started to unbutton his shirt.

James just sat there and stared up at him with round, glassy eyes.

“Are you gonna help me?”

“I’d rather just watch you do it…”

“Really, now?”

“Yes.”

“Alright,” Sirius said, starting to smile as he pulled his dress shirt off and tossed it aside. “Now, hold up your arms.”

James complied and lifted his arms up, giving him a dizzying whiff of his deodorant. Sirius swallowed hard, feeling rather warm, and peeled his white undershirt up his abs and over his head.

 _Yep, he’s still bloody hot…even sick…_ he thought, eyeing his bare chest.

And as if reading his mind, James reached out and gripped the back of his thighs, pulling him forward and between his legs. “When do I get to strip _you_?” he asked, his face just inches away from his groin.

Sirius licked his lips and stared down at him. “You’re too sick,” he croaked, swatting his hands away, but James just smiled devilishly and squeezed his thighs tighter, digging his fingers into the flesh.

And Sirius was torn.

Of _course_ he wanted to get frisky…of _course_ he wanted to empty his dick, preferably in James’ gorgeous mouth…but he needed to be _practical_ and do what was best for _James_. He sighed and pulled him to standing by his forearms. “You need to take it _easy_ …” he said, starting to unbuckle his belt.

“But I’m fucking horny!”

Sirius couldn’t help but chuckle. If James could only see himself. “I know love, but now’s not the time…Just save it.”

“If I save it any longer my dick is going to explode.”

Sirius snorted and shook his head, sliding down his fly.

“Who _are_ you and what have you done with my boyfriend?” James pouted.

Sirius grinned. God, he loved it when he called him that! Even if he was partially sloshed. “I was just wondering the same thing,” he said, yanking James’ trousers down to his ankles, and then his briefs. He stared up at his cock and swallowed hard. It was huge. “Christ,” he muttered.

“I told you,” James smirked.

Sirius pursed his lips and sighed. “Sit down,” he said, pressing onto the tops of his shoulders and pushing him back down on the tub.

James’ eyes lit up and he started to grin. “Really?”

“Yes, really. But you better not puke on me.”

“Cross my heart,” James said, swiping his hand across his chest.

Sirius smirked and clutched onto his bare thighs, lowering himself down between his legs so he could kneel on the floor.

James squirmed with excitement and clutched onto the edge of the tub, opening his legs wider.

And Sirius wanted to laugh yet again.

This is _not_ how he saw the night going…Not at all. But then again, maybe this was even better...

He squeezed James’ thighs and leaned forward, feeling a wave of heat wash over him as he did. “Ready?” he purred.

“Bloody hell! Just do it!” James bellowed, his whole body clenching.

“You’re not gonna throw up, right?”

“Padfoot!” James growled.

Sirius chuckled and then leaned forward and licked the very tip of his cock.

“Holy fuck!” James yelped, convulsing.

“Hold still,” Sirius said, continuing to lick him up and down, thoroughly enjoying James’ reaction.

And then he slid him all the way into his mouth and sucked like there was no tomorrow, relishing every curse and every hair pull that came his way. James was completely unhinged and it was thoroughly exhilarating. He couldn’t help but wonder what they’d both be like together utterly sloshed and desperately horny.

_That would be wild…_

“Fuck!” James yelped, digging his fingers into the stone tub and bucking up.

Sirius nearly drowned as he held onto his hips, trying to keep him steady whilst also swallowing him down. It was like a never ending fountain of cum. _He’s gonna have to start wanking in the shower,_ he thought, and then flicked his eyes up and saw the blasted mermaid, watching them with a look of horror etched into her pale face.

He nearly choked.

“Oh my god…oh my god…oh my _god_ …” James panted as he finally began to relax, his shoulders slumping and his head falling back.

Sirius licked his lips and anxiously stood back up, trying not to look at the mermaid again.

 _Holy crap_.

James held onto his hips for support whilst still trying to catch his breath, “Merlin…that was…. _thank you_ …my _dick_ …thanks you…” he panted.

“You’re welcome,” Sirius chuckled, raking James’ sweaty hair back from his face and placing a kiss on his forehead. “Feel better now?”

“Yes…so much…”

“Good,” he replied, backing away and promptly stripping his own clothes off. He slid his briefs down to the floor and stepped out of them. “Now get in,” he said pointing to the tub.

James’ lips parted and his eyes raked over his body, causing goose bumps to scatter across his skin. “Can I return the favor?” he asked in a husky voice.

“No. Get in,” Sirius said, trying not to smile.

“Oh alright,” James huffed, turning round and swinging his legs over the edge, and then he slipped into the water and disappeared under the surface.

Sirius stared at the rippling water for a moment, his hands rested on his hips, waiting for him to come back up.

But he didn’t.

“James?!” he croaked, before flinging himself into the mountain of pastel bubbles. He plunged under the water, flailing around, desperately trying to find him.

Finally, he caught James’ arm and tugged him upwards, grateful it was shallow enough to stand.

“Bloody hell! You _can_ swim, right?” he screeched, spitting water out of his mouth and waving his arms around.

“Yes, you git!” James sputtered, raking his dripping wet hair out of his eyes and looking thoroughly awake now.

“Oh, I was just worried…” Sirius said, spitting more water out of his mouth; it tasted sweet, like oily roses, and he made a face. “Blech. This stuff tastes like your great aunt Ermentrude.”

James pursed his lips indignantly. “You _know_ I can swim, you dickhead.”

“Well, I meant whilst _sick_!” Sirius snipped.

“And I don’t even _have_ a great aunt Ermentrude, you wanker.”

Sirius started to laugh.

“And I’m not _that_ sick…C’mere,” James hissed, grabbing hold of his arm and tugging him towards him, crashing their bodies together and sloshing water out of the tub.

Sirius smiled and clasped onto the tops of his shoulders, wrapping his legs around his waist and feeling wonderfully warm.

_This is new…_

James pulled him closer and wrapped his arms around his back in a hug, suddenly going very quiet. “Hey,” he finally said by his ear, his voice deep and husky and sending a thrill up his spine, “thanks for taking care of me…”

Sirius’ heart beat faster and he pulled back to stare at him. “Of course, love. I’ll _always_ take care of you,” he breathed, swiping some water droplets off his cheek with his thumb.

James smiled serenely and then leaned his head back in the water, staring up at the ceiling. “This was a brilliant idea.”

“I have been known to have them from time to time,” Sirius replied, squeezing his shoulders and tightening his legs around his waist.

James grinned. “You know…you’re the only person that’s ever taken care of me…besides my mum, I mean…”

Sirius closed his eyes and exhaled, his heart beginning to swell in his chest, and when he opened his eyes again, James was staring at him intensely.

He knew that look.

It made him weak… _hungry_ …

He narrowed his eyes to James’ parted lips and swallowed, feeling his body catch fire. He lunged towards him, trying to stand and get some traction, but there was nothing to stand _on_ , and he nearly slipped under the water, that is, until James caught him and held him up firmly by the biceps, squeezing tightly. “I like you like this…” he chuckled, his green eyes dancing.

“Like what?” Sirius asked, squirming in his grip.

“Lost your footing and only have me to hold onto…” James said, starting to grin and dribbling water out of his mouth.

“You fool!”

“Only for _you_.”

Sirius laughed and tried to swim away but James caught him by the ankle and jerked him back again, pulling him into his muscular arms and hugging him close. “One day we’ll have a pool and do this every day,” he murmured by his ear.

Sirius’ heart beat faster.

“Is that so?”

“Mmmhmm.”

“Even when it’s freezing out?”

“Maybe we’ll have an _indoor_ pool,” James said thoughtfully, slowly swimming them through the sea of pastel bubbles.

“That works for me,” Sirius sighed, wrapping his legs around his waist again and placing a kiss on his slick neck.

He loved it when James planned their future…

~~~

Almost all the bubbles had disappeared by the time they lazily opened their eyes and stared at each other.

“Need to get you to bed,” Sirius said as he lifted his head from James’ shoulder. He’d completely lost track of time.

James just grunted and hugged him tighter.

Sirius swam them to the shallows and crawled out, feeling incredibly oily and pruney—yet again, not how he’d imagined the night ending. He helped James out of the tub and wrapped a towel around his shoulders, rubbing his hands up and down his arms. “Feel better?”

“Mmmhmm,” James noised, staring down at him with a dopey expression.

Sirius just smirked and pecked a kiss to his irresistible full lips, still tasting roses. “Time for bed, love.”

Before they left, he turned round one last time to make sure they hadn’t forgotten anything, and saw the prissy mermaid perched on her rock, blowing bubbles and meticulously combing through her long red hair. She suddenly looked up at him and winked slyly, a devilish grin sliding up her face.

Sirius flushed and swallowed hard.

_Bloody hell._

And then he shook his head in disbelief, thinking that the entire castle must know their secret by now…everyone _except_ the actual _people_ inside it…

He smiled and wrapped his arm around James’ waist, squeezing him tight and heading for the door.

***

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 😍🛁🧜🏿♀️❤️⭐️🦌🎉


	30. Breakfast With a Side of Snivellus

***

~J~

The next morning James rolled over onto his back and yawned, blinking the sleep out of his eyes. He started to smile, suddenly remembering their late night in the Prefect’s bathroom. He’d probably smell like a rose for a bloody week.

He smacked his lips.

_And taste like one, too…Blech._

He hoped the Professor wasn’t too disappointed that they’d left the party early…Though, knowing Slughorn, it would probably just make him even more insistent that he attend another one. Maybe he’d have a good excuse not to go next time…

There was a rustling sound and his curtains suddenly popped open, the morning light nearly blinding him.

“Ah! Bloody hell!” he croaked, raising his hand and shielding his eyes.

“Shhh! It’s just me,” a voice he’d recognize anywhere hissed.

“Oh.”

“I’m coming in!”

“Is—is that safe?” he stammered.

“Yes, everyone’s left for Hogsmeade!” Sirius said giddily as he flung himself inside and pounced on top of him.

James groaned, all of his air being knocked out.

“It’s just you…and me,” Sirius said deviously as he quickly moved to straddle him on top of the blankets.

A grin crept up James’ face as he shut his eyes and slid his hands up Sirius’ thighs. He squeezed them and felt his groin catch fire.

_I could get used to this…_

Sirius leaned down towards him, his soft hair tickling him in the face, but James continued to keep his eyes closed. “Now, let’s cuddle,” Sirius purred by his ear, his voice deep and raspy and full of possibilities that James felt all the way down to his toes. “Just like old times,” he murmured.

Sirius pulled the covers back and crawled underneath them, wiggling his way around his body so his back was pressed to his front and his bum rested perfectly against his package.

_Dear god…_

“Well, _almost_ like old times…” Sirius muttered, “we had more privacy back then.” He rested his head on James’ pillow and sighed.

But James barely heard him.

“You know this just makes me incredibly horny, right?” he whispered by his ear, already feeling dizzy off his scent, not to mention the growing heat between them. 

“Does it now?”

“Don’t play coy with me. You know how your _perfect little arse_ affects me,” he said sliding his hands under the covers and clutching onto his cheek.

Sirius flinched and then chuckled. “Well, every part of you… _affects me_ ,” he said, arching his back and pressing his bum into him harder.

James’ breath caught.

_Son of a bitch!_

“You little shit,” he gasped, hugging him tighter and kissing the back of his neck, taking a deep, glorious inhale of his cock-swelling scent. “Merlin, I’ve missed this.”

“Mmm me, too,” Sirius sighed, rubbing his bare feet against James’ and curling into him.

And James was just about to get handsy when he felt Sirius breathing deeply, his body completely relaxing and going still. He kissed his neck again and held him close, trying to savor every moment he was in his arms.

And right when he was near the edge of sleep himself, he heard muffled voices outside the door.

His eyes popped open and he stiffened.

“What’s the matter, love?” Sirius rasped.

“People…outside the door.”

Sirius sighed deeply. “Ugh. We should probably get up anyway…don’t wanna seem too suspicious,” he huffed, throwing the blankets back and making James’ heart sink.

“But I wanna fool around,” he whined, reaching his hands out and grasping hold of his bicep, trying to pull him back.

“Save it for tonight, love,” Sirius said with a wicked grin. And then he pecked his lips and hopped off the bed.

And for the millionth bloody time, James told his dick to be patient.

~~~

They threw some clothes on and rushed down to the Great Hall, hoping they hadn’t completely missed breakfast.

“Bugger!” Sirius hissed, raking his hair back and looking around the empty room. “We missed it.”

“Hey, I have an idea!” James said. “Let’s get some food from the kitchens; I’m sure the house elves would be more than happy to help…and then we can go eat somewhere _else_.”

He was not giving up. His _dick_ was _not_ giving up.

“Like, the _Room_?” Sirius asked, his blue eyes widening.

“Yeah, why not?”

“But Snivellus said we couldn’t have it until five.”

“I know, but I’m pretty sure he and Lily went to Hogsmeade. And _besides_ , you really think they’d be _getting it on_ at ten-thirty in the morning?” James said in a low voice.

“Yeah, probably not…Well, I guess we can give it a try…”

“Brilliant.”

They made their way downstairs to the giant portrait of fruit that was the secret entrance to the kitchens, having long since discovered the door thanks to the Invisibility Cloak.

James reached up and tickled the pear until it shook from side to side and giggled and then the entire painting slid back to reveal a hidden stone archway. They walked underneath it and inside the enormous kitchens.

And as soon as the elves caught sight of them, they started bowing low and asking how they could be of service.

James politely asked for some pastries and two cups of hot pumpkin juice.

The elves were more than happy to oblige. “Thank you!” he beamed as they walked back out the door, his arms now full of boxes. And like always, he could literally _feel_ Sirius breathing down his neck. “Thanks for all the help, mate,” James hissed.

“What?”

“You could have at least _tried_ to be nice to them.”

“Look, you know how I feel about Kreacher…He used to _torture_ me…” he spat, a black shadow crossing his face.

“But that’s no excuse to be rude to them! They _aren’t_ Kreacher, and not all house elves are cruel.”

“I’m done talking about it,” Sirius snapped.

James abruptly stopped and turned towards him. “Look, I’m _sorry_. I didn’t mean to bring up bad memories…”

“It’s okay,” Sirius said glumly, staring at the floor.

“Baby.”

Sirius exhaled loudly and shot him a glare. “C’mon,” he finally said, snatching one of the pastry boxes from his arms and moving forward. “Let’s go.”

James sighed exasperatedly, his shoulders slumping as he followed behind him. He hated how touchy Sirius got about family things; one bad memory could keep him in a dour mood all day.

“What if they _are_ in the Room, though?” he asked, trying to change the subject.

“They won’t be…there’s just no way. You said so yourself, they _always_ go to Hogsmeade...and look, there’s no Knut by the door,” Sirius said, pointing towards the baseboard as he started pacing back and forth in front of the tapestry.

A few moments later the giant door appeared, and they both glanced at each other hesitantly before pushing it open.

And what they saw next nearly made them lose their appetites…

Possibly _forever_.

It was Snape, sitting on the velvet couch, his bare, pale skin nearly glowing in the firelight and his head tilted back in ecstasy as Lily knelt on the floor between his open thighs...

***

~S~  
  


_Holy fucking shit._

And Sirius was so thankful that he couldn’t see _exactly_ what she was doing.

But he had a pretty good idea…

If he’d seen anymore he was positive he would have keeled over dead.

He and James both stood there in stunned silence, trying to take in the scene, and yet _not_ take in the scene at the same time.

And then James exhaled loudly and suddenly Snape’s cold, black eyes snapped open, full of hell-fire.

_Holy shit! We’re gonna die!_

James started slowly backing towards the door, shoving into Sirius as he did.

“OUT!” Snape bellowed, the sound echoing off the stone walls.

They didn’t need to be told twice.

In a flash, they both turned round and flew straight out the door, slamming it shut and nearly tripping over each other in the process.

“What-in-the-bloody-hell…was _THAT_?” Sirius screeched as they started walking briskly away, his eyes open to capacity.

“I think it’s what you think it was,” James replied, his face as white as a ghost.

“Something from my _nightmares_ …” Sirius breathed. “Snivellus, getting a blow-job. _Merlin_. Just shoot me now.”

“WAIT!” a voice yelled from behind them, and they both froze in their tracks and slowly turned around.

It was Snape, repulsive as always, striding towards them like an angry black cloud.

“I thought I told you that _five to midnight_ was your allotted time?” he seethed, stopping just in front of them and brushing his disheveled hair out of his face.

“We thought you’d gone to Hogsmeade—and we were just gonna eat breakfast in there!” James blurted out.

Sirius held up the pastry boxes and waggled them with a grimace, his eyes trailing down to Snape’s fly.

_Shit. The bat’s hung. Who knew?_

“We never meant…we had no idea you’d be there," James said. "Believe me, it’s the _last thing in the world_ we’d _ever_ want to see…” he rambled, his face as red as a beet.

“Never. Again. Do I make myself clear? Stick to the times I give you or the deal is off,” Snape said coolly, his yellow teeth clenched tight.

Sirius swallowed hard and nodded.

“Okay,” James replied, in a strangled voice.

“Good,” Snape said flatly, his black eyes darker than humanly possible.

“And,” James said, clearing his throat, “please tell Lily we didn’t see anything…I mean, we couldn’t see… _you understand_ ,” and then he promptly whipped around and started walking away.

Sirius had to run to catch up with him.

“Bloody hell! Will you _slow_ down!”

“I can’t. I feel sick.”

“You mean you really _did_ see more?”

“No! But what I _did_ see was enough.”

“Yeah…the bat in ecstasy was _more than enough_ ,” Sirius said shivering with a horrified grimace, wishing he could burn the image from his brain and sanitize his eyeballs.

“Let’s just go up to the Astronomy tower,” James said irritably.

“Uh-uh…It’s bloody cold up there. Let’s just go back to the dorms.”

“Okay, but we won’t have any _privacy_.”

And Sirius' blood started to boil over.

If seeing Snape _getting head_ wasn’t enough to completely ruin his morning (and give him nightmares for life), knowing that Snape was getting head _instead_ of him, was the absolute final straw. And not only that, but he was hogging the one place where it was even possible to _safely_ get head…

“Damn it! Now, we need _another_ place,” he half-yelled. “This is ridiculous. And I do NOT want to be dependent on that fucking bat and his morning blow-job schedule!” he nearly screamed, now feeling his heart beat in his ears.

“Shhh! Calm down! You’re making a scene.”

“What? In front of all the bloody _paintings_?!” he hissed, throwing his hands up in the air and promptly spilling scalding hot pumpkin juice all down the front of his jumper.

“ARRGH!” he bellowed, feeling his skin burn.

James dropped the box of pastries and rushed towards him.

“Let me help,” he said, trying to wipe the juice off but only making it worse and smearing it deeper into the fabric.

“No!” Sirius snapped, swatting his hands away angrily. “Just forget it!” he yelled before running off down the hall, dripping pumpkin juice as he went.

***

~J~

And James just stood there, gaping.

He wished for just once Sirius wouldn't let his temper get the best of him...It certainly wasn't helping their already miserable situation...But then again, it wasn't as if he hadn't thrown his fair share of tantrums, too.

It was all just bloody difficult.

What he'd give to be back home again!

Sharing a bed...showering together...and having more freedom than they'd both ever realized.

He shook his head and sighed, following the trail of pumpkin juice Sirius had left behind.

***

~S~

Sirius was cross with himself the minute he bolted down the hallway and left James behind in his dust…He was cross that he’d ruined their breakfast and cross for snapping at James…when what had happened, wasn’t even James’ fault at all.

Who could have ever guessed that the bat would be getting a blow-job at ten-fucking-thirty in the morning?

It just felt like every plan they made to be together was thwarted…

Like everything was against them…

They just couldn’t be together like normal people.

Even Snivellus was _getting it_ on the regular…

He shivered at the thought.

“We should have just gone to Hogsmeade…just like everyone else,” he muttered, though he knew they would have been miserable there, too…constantly looking for a place to be alone and yet trying not to be too obvious about it so they wouldn’t upset an overly-sensitive Remus.

_God. Why is love so miserable?!_

He burst through the Gryffindor portrait hole, avoiding curious glances as he rushed up the stairs, leaving a trail of pumpkin juice behind him. 

When he got to the room he peeled off his cold, soggy jumper and threw it on the floor in disgust, then flung himself on the bed and proceeded to beat the mattress with his fists whilst screaming into a pillow.

Anything to take the edge off.

Everything just felt too bloody difficult and he was just too tired to try.

Maybe everything was just a mistake.

At some point, his anger turned into hot tears and he curled up into a tight ball and hugged his pillow, wishing he hadn’t pushed away the one person he wanted most. 

***

~J~

When James opened the door to their room the very last thing he’d expected to see was Sirius sniffling on the bed and clutching his pillow.

“Sirius!” he yelped, rushing towards him.

He quickly sat their food down on the night stand and moved towards the bed. “Babe,” he said softly, sitting down next to him and gently placing his hand on his arm. “Was it me?”

“No,” Sirius sniffled. “Jus’ everything.”

He crawled up on the bed next to him, facing him, and gingerly removed the pillow from his arms. He pulled him into his chest and hugged him close, unsure what else to do.

An irate, foul-mouthed, temperamental Sirius he knew how to handle. He could grab hold of him and shake him; wrestle with him on the floor if need be, or do something purposely stupid just to make him laugh…

But _this_ …

This sensitive, vulnerable, _needy_ version…

It always made him feel helpless.

He didn’t feel equipped to handle a _soft_ Sirius.

He didn’t even know it was really a thing. Not until they’d confessed their feelings.

Sure, he’d catch glimpses of Sirius’ sensitive side over the years, see the deep, disturbing pain in his eyes over his family issues, or the look of abject failure when they’d lost a Quidditch match…But any cracks in his persona were always quickly and carefully covered up with a biting sarcasm and a confident swipe of his hair. 

It was still such a foreign thing to see him so openly expressing his feelings.

Sirius curled into him and clutched a handful of his jumper in his hand, twisting the fabric tightly in his fingers and making James feel all kinds of warm in all kinds of places.

His heart started beating faster.

Was it normal to feel so turned on by someone else’s pain?

Was it normal to feel so bloody _good_ that he could be the one to comfort him?

Be the one he turned to?

He swallowed and hugged him closer, wrapping his arms fully around his back. “What can I do?” he asked.

“This...just this.”

James’ heart swelled and he rested his chin atop his head, wishing he could do even more.

After a few moments, Sirius’ sniffles began to quiet down and sensing that the worst was finally over, James pulled back and placed a kiss to his temple, and then one to his forehead, and one at the very corner of his mouth. And when Sirius blinked up at him with round, watery eyes, his heart began to throb in his chest in ways he didn't know possible.

_Dear god…that face._

He ran his thumbs over his sharp cheekbones and swiped away the tears. “This is bloody hard, I _know_ …but we’ll get through it. Just one day at a time,” he breathed.

Sirius sighed and cupped his face back tenderly, staring deeply into his eyes, as if searching for something, and then he leaned forward and gently pressed their lips together; the small gesture sending a bolt of electricity straight up James’ spine.

_That mouth!_

He groaned and kissed him back, sliding his tongue between his parted lips and feeling his dick, _and every other part of him_ , come alive.

He rolled them so that Sirius was lying on his back, right where he preferred him; he loved being able to admire his gorgeous face and stroke his hair back. Loved watching his every reaction and trying to understand what they meant.

Sirius gently pressed his palms to his chest and stared up at him again, with that same intense, mystifying look in his blue eyes. Like he was somehow peering into his soul.

He’d never looked at him like that before...

It was unnerving.

_What is he thinking?! What’s happening?!_

And suddenly James didn’t care anymore about being discreet or relying on Snivellus’ ridiculous schedule so they could be together; all he wanted was to give Sirius fucking Black more pleasure then he could stand.

He held his gaze as he slid his hand down between them and carefully caressed him through his jeans, testing the waters, making sure they were on the same page.

Sirius’ eyes remained locked on his and his perfect mouth begin to open wider and wider with each deliberate stroke. “God,” he quietly moaned, his eyes rolling back, and his body tightening like a coiled spring underneath him.

And James just watched him in awe, his own body catching fire along with him.

“You’re so fucking gorgeous,” he breathed, his heart pounding. 

Sirius’ eyes popped open and he gripped the back of his neck and pulled him down, smashing their lips together in a hurry and catching him by surprise.

And suddenly James felt frenzied. Inebriated. _Desperate_.

He licked inside his lips and gripped onto his face, feeling the wetness of his mouth, the urgency of his tongue, all go straight to his groin and set it on fire.

The warmth.

The heat.

The need.

It was all consuming.

He pulled back to stare in his eyes.

Sirius blinked up at him.

_Those fucking eyes!_

Sapphire. Dilated pupils. Black lashes for days.

_Christ!_

James brushed his raven hair back from his face and continued to stare at him; study him, his heart pounding.

“Let me take care of you,” he breathed, not even sure where the words had come from.

Sirius’ eyes widened.

There was fear there.

“I _want_ to take care of you, _please_.”

They softened.

Sirius swallowed and started to look away.

“Look at me.”

He flicked his eyes back. “I don’t even know what that looks like,” he said just above a whisper.

James’ heart clenched fiercely in his chest.

Sirius fucking Black had never been taken care of. Of course he hadn't. Who in his life ever cared about his needs? His heart? His feelings?

A shot of anger went straight up James’ spine.

“It looks like _this_ ,” he replied, softly stroking his hair back again and squeezing his hips between his thighs as he straddled him. “It looks like you telling me what’s going on in _here_ ,” he said, lightly tapping a finger to his head. “And _here_ ,” he said, tapping a finger to his heart. “Don’t shut me out.”

Sirius swallowed hard again as he stared up at him, and then he started blinking rapidly, his eyes filling to the brim with water. “But I…I don’t know how…I’m not very good at that.”

“Baby.”

James trailed his fingers over his cheekbones and held his face.

How could this beautiful git take him from being so insanely horny to being a heartsick psychologist trying to solve all his problems with just one look?

Maybe there was more to love than he’d realized.

“I’ll help you,” he said. “And I’ll do my part as well…letting you know what I’m feeling. Letting you inside my head.”

“Okay,” Sirius breathed, seeming to relax.

And then the fucker started to smile.

And James’ heart just…

_Oh god._

“Now…I’m gonna take care of you,” he said again, this time emphatically. He slid his hands between them and unbuttoned Sirius’ jeans.

Sirius squirmed slightly but didn’t protest.

He yanked them down to his ankles, his breath catching as he looked back up and fully appreciated the view.

Sirius was all muscle and sharp hip bones and delicious porcelain skin.

_A fucking dream._

He could already taste him, smell him, _feel_ him inside his mouth.

“I’ve got you, baby,” he breathed, sliding his hands up his inner thighs.

***

~S~

_Holy shit. What just happened? What was that?_

James was trailing his fingers up his bare legs and looking about ready to devour him, but all Sirius could think about was the strange conversation they’d just had. It was deep…mature…and so unlike them. What prompted James to say what he had? No one had ever offered to “take care” of him. And what exactly did he mean by that anyway? Yes, he'd offered to take care of him _financially_ before...but this was different.

He wasn’t sure what it meant…but whatever it was…he _wanted_ it.

All of it.

Even though his pride protested, some part of him, deep down, desperately wanted to be _cared for._

Something warm and new begin to unfurl in his lower belly at just the thought of it...

And he’d thought _kissing_ James Potter was the end all be all! Touching his body, sucking his dick…calling him his “boyfriend”…but clearly, there were deeper levels of intimacy he knew nothing about.

 _He wants to take care of me…_ Was all he could think about, and the fervent look in James’ eyes as he’d said it.

James hooked his fingers into the waistband of his briefs and drug them down his body, and Sirius arched up in response, suddenly snapping back to the present moment, his heart pounding harder and his brain going fuzzy.

And then James’ warm, wet mouth was sucking him, torturing him and thoroughly _taking care_ of him…in ways he never knew he needed.

Maybe things really weren’t so bad…he thought. If they could just communicate…work together… _take care of each other_ …they could find the silver lining and make it through this hellish time.

“Come on, baby,” James growled with his mouth full, his hands clutching onto his bare hips. "Give it to me."

Sirius moaned and pressed his head back into the pillow, completely letting go. He dug his hands into his hair and tugged, a rush of emotions and pleasure sweeping over him.

James gripped his knees and bent his legs up even further on the bed, bobbing his head up and down between them with a vengeance.

“James!” Sirius gasped, scrunching his eyes shut. He’d never felt this much before. How was that possible? What had changed? A wave of heat and pleasure rocked his body like a steam engine. He arched up and clenched, feeling his thighs shake and his belly quiver. “James!” he panted again before finally relaxing. He peered down the length of his body and their eyes locked. James licked his wet, shiny lips, and it was more than he could stand.

“James, I _need_ you,” he whined, reaching his hands out for him.

And the look on James’ face.

_Fucking hell._

He crawled up his body in a hurry and fell into his arms, nearly knocking all of his air out as he did.

“I _need_ you,” Sirius said again, feeling a strange weight lift off his chest that he hadn't even known was there.

James made a noise and kissed his lips; the feel, the sensation entirely new.

And Sirius thought he might just melt through the bed.

James pressed into him harder and grasped hold of his face, brushing his sweaty hair back with his fingertips. “I need you, too…” he breathed. “So fucking much.”

And Sirius’ heart nearly exploded. He wrapped his legs around his waist, locking his ankles, and kissed him back harder. “And I do want you to...take care of me,” he said between burning kisses, positive he would never get his fill.

“I’m so fucking glad,” James sighed, pulling back and placing kisses all over his face, melting his bones.

Sirius squirmed and started to smile, pulling back to look at him. “I love you,” he breathed, running his finger down his pink swollen lips and holding onto his square chin.

“ _God_ , I love you, too,” James groaned, his eyes nearly crossing as he went for his mouth again and surged against him.

“WHAT IS GOING ON HERE?!”

They both flinched.

It was Remus.

Standing in the doorway.

With Peter hovering close behind him.

***

~J~

James couldn’t believe he hadn’t thought to lock the door, or at least shut the curtains, but it was all too late now. He nearly jumped up and flew off the bed, that is, until he remembered Sirius was underneath him, completely naked. So instead, he flattened his body on top of him, trying to hide what he could.

“Jus’ give us a moment!” Sirius croaked.

The door slammed shut with a bang.

And James felt his face burn as he rolled off of him and to the floor.

“Bloody hell…”

“I know.”

“Well, there’s nothing we can do about it now,” Sirius huffed as he snatched his briefs up and slid them back on.

James gripped the wooden bedpost, his eyes still wide in shock.

Could they ever just have a bloody moment to themselves?! Just one, fucking, bloody moment to be completely alone?!

“That’s why we need the bloody _Room_ ,” Sirius huffed, sliding his jeans back up and zipping his fly.

There was a knock on the door.

“Come in,” James said gruffly, his blood starting to boil.

Remus pushed the door open and strode inside with Peter hot on his tail.

“Well?” Remus spat, his hands on his hips and brows raised as high as they could possibly go.

“Well, _what_?” Sirius snapped back whilst fishing through his dresser drawer.

“Well, what happened to no _funny business_ in front of us…or anywhere in this vicinity?!”

“We thought you were in _Hogsmeade,_ for Merlin’s sakes!” James barked, unable to control his temper. “Never thought you’d come bloody barging in, you tosser! We weren’t _trying_ to put on a show for you.”

“Oh, piss off!” Remus bellowed.

“Look, it was just an accident,” Sirius interjected, “and it _won’t_ happen again.”

“Like hell it won’t,” Remus said gritting his teeth.

“What IS your problem, Moony?” James spat, walking towards him. “If you’re not getting any, no one can?”

“How _dare_ you!” Remus bellowed, lunging towards him with fists flying. Peter sprung forward and grabbed onto Remus’ shoulder just as Sirius gripped onto James’ jumper, yanking him back.

“No! We are _not_ gonna do this!” Sirius hissed, his blue eyes wide.

“What?!” James snapped. “I just wanna know why Moony is _so_ upset, _so_ disgusted, _so_ _jealous_ of our relationship,” he goaded, walking towards him.

“I am NOT jealous!” Remus barked, raking his copper hair back angrily, now a foot away from him.

“Then what?”

“I…It’s none of your damn business!” he screeched before storming out of the room.

Peter glared at them, narrowing his beady little eyes, and then quickly scampered off after him.

 _“_ What in the hell _?”_ James said shaking his head.

“I don’t know, but he’s definitely mad about something…”

“You think?” he snapped sarcastically.

“Yeah, I _think_ and don’t get all snippety with me. _I’m_ not the enemy.”

“I know…I’m sorry,” he sighed. “I just don’t understand why he’s so mad.”

He watched as Sirius put on a clean jumper and pulled it down over his stomach, his abs flexing as he did.

“Yeah…I don’t know either…” Sirius replied, swiping his hair back and walking towards him.

And then James’ stomach grumbled loudly.

“Merlin, we never even ate,” he groaned.

“Well, _you_ did,” Sirius said in a husky voice as he moved closer, his face breaking into a wolfish grin.

_God, he is so fucking hot!_

James started to smile back and rested his hands atop his shoulders. “I’d say it was a five star meal,” he leaned down and whispered by his ear, and when he pulled back to stare at him, he wasn’t the least bit disappointed by what he saw.

Sirius was blushing fiercely and averting his eyes, his lips sliding up into a heart-stopping, shy grin. “Yeah, yeah, well let’s go eat some _real_ breakfast, shall we?” he muttered, clasping hold of his wrist and tugging him forward.

And James just smiled, not sure how breakfast _with a side of Snivellus_ had turned into one of the best bloody mornings of his entire life.

***

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 😁❤️⭐️🦌🎉😍


	31. A Good Kind of Different

***

~S~

On Sunday, James and Sirius spent most the afternoon in the library, trying to catch up on lessons.

“What was that war the Professor was talking about in class?” Sirius asked, his nose pressed into his book.

“The Ogre Wars?”

“Yeah…that was it,” he said, putting the book down and scribbling something on a piece of parchment. And then he looked up to see James, staring at him…wearing his fucking glasses.

_Goddamn those glasses!_

The things he felt whilst he was wearing them. It was bloody hard enough to look at James anyway, what with his square jaw that could crack a nut, his just-fucked hair and his I-will-kill-you-with-just-one-kiss plush lips…but when he was wearing those things?

Nearly impossible.

The black frames made his green eyes simply pop and his cheekbones go on for days. He looked like some kind of sexy secretary (if Adonis ever worked behind a desk) and Sirius suddenly had visions of roughly throwing him down on one of the mahogany tables, scattering books and ripping his shirt open.

_Christ…_

It was getting much too hot in the room.

“What?” James asked, furrowing his gorgeous brows.

Sirius swallowed hard and tried to look away, but he couldn’t…Not with those bloody eyes on him!

“I…erm…what was the question?” he breathed, feeling positively drunk.

“I didn’t ask a question… _you_ did.”

“Hmm?”

James snorted and shook his head, his irresistible, should-be-illegal mop of soft brown curls bouncing on his head.

Sirius’ eyes widened and he suddenly felt he’d _die_ if he couldn’t get his hands in them.

“Are you okay?” James whispered, leaning closer, giving him a heady dose of his mouth-watering scent.

_Fucking warm vanilla sugar._

Sirius melted in his seat and blinked up at him.

"I’m fine…” he said in a voice much too high.

James chuckled and closed his book, dust billowing in the air as he did.

“Why don’t we go back to the dorms? Remus is probably still tutoring and I bet Peter’s stuck in a rat trap somewhere…”

Sirius flushed and started to laugh. “Okay, let’s go…but wear the glasses.”

James threw his head back and laughed, the deep sound vibrating right through Sirius’ chest and all the way to his bones. “You and these bloody glasses…”

“What can I say?” Sirius said, jumping up and hastily packing his books away, “They’re a turn on…”

“Then maybe I should wear them _all_ the time…”

“Hell no…I’d never get anything done!”

“Alright…then only for _special occasions_ and studying…”

They both grinned and slung their bags over their shoulders before walking out of the room.

They were almost to the portrait hole when James realized he’d left his bottle of ink behind. “You go on ahead,” he said, “I’ll just run back and get it.”

“Don’t be too long,” Sirius replied with a sly grin, his heart beating faster.

“I won’t,” he said with a wink.

***

~J~

James was just coming through the portrait hole after retrieving his ink bottle when he saw Remus, curled up by the fire, alone, and reading. 

“Hey,” he said awkwardly, walking towards him. 

“Hey,” Remus replied, glancing up. “Sirius is up in the room…”

“Okay…But it’s actually _you_ I wanted to see.”

Remus’ eyes flicked up and he stared at him with surprise.

“Moony,” we need to talk,” James said, flopping down in the arm chair across from him. “About yesterday…”

Remus squirmed in his seat and stared down at his hands, his copper hair partially shrouding his face.

James swallowed.

_Merlin, he’s not making this easy…_

He cleared his throat loudly and leaned forward with his elbows resting on his knees.

“We’ve been friends for a long time…and I hate to fight with you…”

Remus flicked his eyes up again and pursed his lips.

“So can you _please_ just tell me what’s really wrong so we can fix this?”

Remus sighed and leaned back in his chair, rubbing his hands up and down his corduroy pants several times.

James kept trying. “I’m _sorry_ for the things I said…I was just bloody mad…I didn’t mean them…”

Remus squirmed in his chair. “Well they weren’t all wrong,” he said quietly.

“They weren’t?”

“No…the thing is…the real reason I got so upset…was because…I like _Lily_.”

“What?”

“Yeah…I always have. She was just off limits because you’d chosen her…put your mark on her…And so to find out that all this time, all these years, chasing her was just some kind of _game_ to you…some way to suppress your true feelings…It made me furious. Livid. I never pursued her…for _your_ sake.”

James’ heart beat faster and his stomach twisted in a knot.

“But you could have said something!”

“And what difference would it have made? You’re unstoppable when you want something…Everybody knows that. I would have been just another obstacle to shove aside…and I didn’t want that either.”

James sighed deeply, feeling like a complete and utter tosser. How could he have been so blind? I mean sure, Remus turned red every time Lily was in the vicinity…and sure, he had a hard time forming a sentence around her…but that was pretty much standard for Moony when it came to _any_ girl. He was just a shy bloke. And the whole werewolf problem certainly didn’t help...

“Shit. I’m sorry, mate…” he breathed out. “I had no bloody clue.”

“Yeah, I figured as much,” Remus said sadly, swiping his hair out of his eyes.

James stared at the silver scar running across his nose and suddenly felt his heart clench.

Moony didn’t deserve this.

_Not at all._

“But I guess it doesn’t really matter now anyways,” Remus sighed, “because now she’s with the bat…and it’s too late.”

“Maybe it’s not!” James quipped, desperate to give him some hope.

Remus shook his head and frowned. “I think it probably is.”

James leaned back in his chair and raked his hands through his hair, desperately trying to think of anything to make the situation better.

“And it’s not just that,” Remus sighed heavily, staring into the fire. “Things just won’t be the same anymore…Not with you and Sirius together…You two will always come first with each other.”

His heart sunk even further.

_So he really is afraid of being left out…Bugger._

“Moony, we’re still the Marauders and _always_ will be…even if you go off and get married…or if Peter…well, if he finds someone to _tolerate_ him…” he started to chuckle.

Remus smiled and then snorted. “They’d have to share his love of dairy products,” he mumbled.

James laughed harder, feeling a weight lift off his chest. “Yes, they would…But look, I know things are different now…and we can never go back to exactly how they were…but maybe they could be a _good_ kind of different? We’re all growing up…we’ve only got a year left here, and after that…who knows what will happen. But for now, we still have each other…and I for one can’t imagine any of this,” he said, splaying his hands out to the room, “without _you_.”

Remus stared at him for a beat and then started to smile, his eyes sparkling. “Thanks, mate…that means a lot,” he said, his voice thick with emotion.

James grinned and brushed his hair back. “I’m always here for you…and I’ll do anything I can to help you with your love life or anything else you might need. And I’m sure Sirius feels the same.”

Remus cocked a brow as if not quite believing that last part.

“Okay, okay, I _know_ , he’s totally a little shit…but he loves you, too, and I have no doubt he’d be more than willing to give you some dating or snogging advice…or whatever he thinks he might be an expert at.”

Remus chuckled and shook his head and James felt so relieved. He stood up and walked over to him. “C’mere,” he said, leaning down and gripping onto his shoulders, tugging him up. “Let’s hug it out like two platonic dudes.”

Remus laughed, his cheeks red, and threw his arms around his torso and hugged him tight. James squeezed him back and smiled, feeling his heart expand. He pulled back and gripped him by the biceps, holding him at arm’s length. “God, I’m so glad I didn’t have to punch you,” he laughed.

“You mean you actually _considered_ it?” Remus asked, his mouth falling open.

“Yep. I wanted to add _taking out a werewolf with my bare hands_ to my list of skills…”

“That would look brilliant on your job applications.”

James grinned and squeezed his shoulders before dropping his hands to his sides. “Moony, you’ve only just begun to scratch the surface of my many talents…”

“I don’t doubt it,” Remus said with a deep chuckle as they started heading up the stairs to their room. “You never cease to amaze me, Prongs…”

***

~S~

Sirius was just putting away his clean clothes in his dresser when the bedroom door opened.

It was Remus and James, laughing.

He narrowed his eyes, unable to stop the twinge of jealousy that shot up his spine.

_What happened? Why are they being so chummy?_

“Hey,” James said, a broad smile sliding up his face.

And Sirius couldn’t help but melt a little as he stared at him.

“Hey,” he said back, walking towards them. “What’s going on?”

“Oh nothing…we just talked and…” James said glancing at Remus. “We’re _good_ now.”

“How so?” Sirius snapped, unable to hide the irritation in his voice. Just last night they were all about to kill each other. He wasn’t about to forget that.

Remus cleared his throat and shoved his hands in his pockets. “Well, my issue with… _this_ ,” he said, waving his hand between them,” was more about me being upset because…Well, I’ve kind of had a _thing_ for Lily…for _years_ …and erm…” he stammered, his face turning red.

_Christ…is there anybody on the whole goddamn planet not after that girl?_

“Really?” he said icily.

James shot him a look that said “Be _nice_.”

“I mean…I had no idea…sorry, mate.”

“It’s fine,” Remus sighed, shrugging his shoulders.

James butted in, “And I also assured him that just because things are different it doesn’t mean we’re not friends anymore…or that you and I would ever _exclude_ him.”

Sirius softened. “That’s right…we won’t. Just don’t expect any blow-jobs…because you _will_ be excluded from those.”

Remus sputtered and turned maroon.

And James and Sirius both laughed.

“Don’t worry,” Remus stammered, “You can leave me out when it comes to _that_ …”

~~~

“God, what a relief,” James sighed after Remus had left the room. “I’m so glad he’s not mad anymore…”

“Me too,” Sirius said, pulling himself up on the end of the bed. “I had no idea about the Lily thing…”

“Yeah, me either…I feel like a git,” James said, pulling himself up beside him, their knees bumping together, and Sirius suddenly had a flashback to when he’d very first met James…and James had sat down on his bed right next to him and attempted to befriend him.

“I mean, I knew he got flustered around her…but he gets flustered around _McGonagall_ for Christ’s sake,” James chuckled.

Sirius snorted and pressed against him. “It’s not your fault…”

“Well, it kind of is…I was insensitive…Just like with you. God, how many people have I hurt because I was chasing her around like a bloody idiot?”

Sirius sighed and leaned back on the bed. “I’d just like to know why everybody fancies her so goddamn much…”

James lay back next to him and slid his hand inside his palm, lacing their fingers together. “I guess she’s like a female version of you…”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Sirius croaked.

“Fucking irresistible…”

Sirius started to grin, his heart beating faster.

“Is that so?”

“Mmmhmm,” James noised, turning on his side to stare at him. “Except you’re about a _million_ times hotter…and oh yeah, you have a _dick_ …” he crooned, running his hand up his thigh and towards his crotch, “And I just can’t seem to keep my hands off it.”

Sirius squirmed and started to laugh, grabbing his hand before it did any real damage. “Arse.”

“Git.”

“Cocknose.”

“Blaggard.”

Sirius grinned. “Go put your glasses on, Prongs, and let’s play a game.”

“Oooh, a game?”

“Yeah, it’s called how long can I look at you in those blasted things before I attack you.”

James laughed and rolled off the bed. A moment later he bounded back, wearing the glasses and raking his hair out of his eyes. “Is there a reward for this game?”

“Yeah, my lips,” Sirius said flatly, pushing himself up and crawling towards him. He pulled James down onto the bed and clasped hold of his face, his heart pounding and his cock swelling.

_Merlin…_

“That sounds like a brilliant reward to me,” James murmured, leaning in and hovering just a few inches from his mouth.

And Sirius couldn’t take it anymore.

He smashed their lips together whilst kneeling on the bed before him, digging his fingers into his hair.

James grunted and pulled him onto his lap in a straddle, clutching his arse with both hands and squeezing tight. “I don’t think there’s any way to lose in this game,” he panted between burning, sloppy kisses.

Sirius hungrily licked his way around his mouth and clutched onto his taut neck, dragging his fingers down his throat.

_I couldn’t agree more…_

  
***

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, but let’s be honest...It would be totally hot if Remus was crushing on James.😍 And why wouldn’t he? James is just a sweetheart. ❤️🦌 But for the sake of this story, he only fancies Lily...maybe. 😂


	32. A Celebration Snog

***

~S~

It was official.

They had survived their first month back at Hogwarts.

Valentine’s Day was quickly approaching and the entire school was abuzz over the dance lessons they were all being forced to participate in.

Apparently, Professor McGonagall was so _appalled_ by the lack of dance skills shown during the previous year’s soirée, that she decided to take it upon herself to teach them _proper_ dance.

Something Sirius was not looking forward to in the least.

A group of girls in the Gryffindor common room was animatedly discussing what they would wear and who they’d dance with, when he shot a pointed glance at James.

James was sitting in the high-backed, maroon velvet chair next to him with his feet propped up on a stool in front of the fire. He just raised his eyebrows and sighed, then leaned his head back.

And Sirius’ heart sunk in his chest.

_Great, a dance…yet another thing I can’t properly experience with him…_

“Did you hear about the dance?” Peter asked coming up behind them.

“Yes, Peter,” they both said in unison.

“Well, who are you gonna ask?” he said, moving to stand in front of them, darting his eyes back and forth.

“Peter, if you don’t already know the _answer_ to that question…well, then you’re even more _dense_ than I thought,” James drawled, slowly shaking his head whilst pinching the bridge of his nose.

Peter shot him a glare that could freeze water and Sirius furrowed his brows in surprise; he didn’t know Wormtail was capable of such disrespect towards his _idol_.

“Well, you two can’t go _together_ ,” Peter hissed, a smug expression sliding up his round face.

James sat up straighter, looking around to make sure no one else was listening, “Listen here, Wormy, we can do whatever we damn well please and it’s none of _your_ business…so just keep your _pointed little nose_ out of it.”

Peter’s eyes widened to the size of saucers and his mouth popped open, but nothing came out.

“Do you understand?” James growled in a low voice.

“I…I…I thought we were _friends_!” Peter blurted out, his eyes watering. He shoved past their chairs and ran up the stairs.

“Bloody hell,” James sighed, rubbing his forehead with his fingers. “What’s his problem?”

“I dunno, I guess maybe he’s not used to having his _idol_ tell him off…” Sirius said moodily, still staring into the fire.

“What’s that supposed to mean? We’re _always_ telling Wormy off…How’s this any different?”

“I guess he just feels left out…he’s taking it personal…because it _is_ …”

Unfortunately, Peter hadn’t been as accepting of their relationship as Moony had been. He still continued to gawk at them and make snide remarks, and no matter how many times they tried to explain things, he just refused to get on board with the changes.

“Now what’s the matter with _you_?” James asked, opening his eyes wider.

“Nothing…it’s just, he’s _right_ , you know. It’s not like we can go together…Just one of many things…” he muttered, crossing his arms over his chest.

“Padfoot,” James hissed under his breath, leaning towards him, “don’t start this. Don’t go down that road…We have what we have, and we need to be _grateful_ for that…”

Sirius just closed his eyes and exhaled. “It’s not that I’m not _grateful_ …I just wish the world was _different_ is all…”

James swallowed, “I know, me too…but, we’ll find a way…we always do,” he said, reaching his hand out and gently patting his arm three times.

Sirius opened his eyes and turned towards him, trying to smile but failing miserably.

“Hey, I know what will make everything better!” James said lighting up.

“What?”

“Wizard’s Chess!”

“That’s _not_ what I thought you were gonna say,” Sirius smirked.

“Dirty boy,” James mouthed.

Sirius chuckled. “Alright, loser gets to go down first,” he said smugly.

“Do you _want_ me to lose on purpose?” James laughed, “Cuz that sounds more like a _reward_ to me.”

“You just do your best, love,” Sirius whispered, his heart beating faster as a devilish grin slid up his face.

***

~J~

Their first Quidditch match with Hufflepuff was to be held that Saturday, and Valentine’s Day and dancing were the very _last things_ on James’ mind. Being the captain of the Gryffindor team was a huge responsibility and weight on his shoulders. He’d had the team enduring grueling practices in the snow and freezing rain for a month, all in preparation for their first match. And because of that, he felt confident in their chances of winning, even if they had suffered an embarrassing loss to Hufflepuff several years before. He wasn’t the captain then, anyway, and clearly, they had vastly underestimated their rival’s abilities. This time would be different.

“So, d’you think we’re ready?” Sirius asked as they walked to Transfiguration together.

James glanced sideways at him and smiled, feeling giddy. “I think we’ve done our best, and that’s all we _can_ do…”

“Such words of wisdom,” Sirius snorted, ribbing him in the side with his finger and laughing.

James smirked and flinched away. “As long as we’re _together_ , everything will be fine…”

“True,” Sirius replied, swiping his hair back and grinning like a smug wolf as he bumped against his shoulder.

James’ heart fluttered considerably, and for the first time ever, he knew that he’d still _feel_ like a winner whether they won or lost…

_As long as we’re together…_

***

~S~

The next morning arrived much too early.

Sirius rolled to his side and yanked the golden cord to open his curtains, immediately surprised to see James’ still shut. He crawled off the bed and padded over to the four-poster, looking around and making certain that the other boys were still asleep. He peaked his head inside and found James, snuggled down under his maroon and gold comforter with only his messy curls poking out from under his pillow.

And his heart ached for him.

“James?” he whispered. “James? Time to get up…game today.”

James squirmed and mumbled something unintelligible, and Sirius flicked his eyes around the room one more time before gingerly crawling atop the bed and draping his body over him.

James wiggled and chuckled under his pillow.

“Alrigh’, alrigh’, m’up…you git…”

Sirius grinned and silently rolled off of him, lifting the pillow up to see his face.

James raised his head up and blinked his eyes, his hair in a mouth-watering tangle. “Mmm,” he hummed.

“Time to get up sleepy head,” Sirius whispered, gently stroking his hair back.

“Where’re the others?” James asked in a raspy voice.

“They’re still sleeping…but we need to get down to the field.”

With a grunt, James turned and grabbed him round the waist, pulling him down and into his body.

“Hey!” Sirius hissed pushing against his biceps, “No funny business, Prongs.”

James just nestled his head in the crook of his neck, planting a hot kiss there that made him wither.

“Save it for _after_ we win,” Sirius breathed, barely able to think with him doing that.

_Bloody hell…_

“A celebration snog?” James asked, peering up at him with sleepy eyes.

“Exactly,” Sirius replied, before quickly pecking his lips and rolling off the bed.

***

~J~

James was grateful to have a private moment with Sirius before the big game. He smacked him on the bum with his hand, admiring how gloriously tight his white pants were; the material hugging his fine arse in _all_ the right places.

_Goddamn, Sirius…_

His heart beat faster.

“I think you should wear those on a regular basis, you know?”

“I’m not sure that would be good for your heart,” Sirius said moving towards him and lightly resting his hands on his chest. “Or your cock,” he said with glittering eyes. He trailed his hands down his stomach and rested them on his hips.

_Jesus…_

James’ mouth popped open and his eyes grew wide, and he was just about to respond when there was a noise from outside and they both jumped apart, turning towards their respective lockers and pretending to be busy.

“You two are up early!” Frank Longbottom said as he bounded into the room full of energy. “Not gonna eat breakfast?”

“Jus’ gonna eat some energy bars,” Sirius said, pulling one out from his locker and peeling the wrapping off. He tossed one to James, who promptly ripped into it and then shoved the entire thing in his mouth.

“So do you think we’re ready?” Frank asked, yanking his pants down to the floor in one fell swoop.

James started choking and whacked at his chest several times.

“Um, yeah…” he replied, his eyes bulging and starting to water. He quickly turned to look back in his locker and _not_ at Frank who was currently stripping his clothes off in the middle of the room. “I think we’ve got a good chance. We’ve certainly put in more practice then they have,” he said in a high voice.

“True,” Frank said, now pulling his white Quidditch pants up and zipping the fly. “They’ve got a helluva Seeker this year, though.”

“Well, I doubt he’s as good as Penelope Patil,” Sirius remarked, sitting down on the bench and lacing up his boots.

“Hey, guys!” Remus said, walking into the room.

“Hey,” they all said in unison.

“Looks like the weather’s half-way decent today,” he mused as he sat down next to Sirius and started taking his snow boots off. “Spect’ we’ll have clear skies for the whole match.”

“Let’s hope so,” James said, pulling his jersey down over his undershirt.

Sirius shot him a pointed glance and nodded his head towards the game room, making his heart beat faster. He shut his locker and quickly followed behind him.

Sirius stopped in front of the game-board, a chalkboard covered in white, enchanted drawings full of the special plays they’d been working on for the match, and turned to face him. He opened his hand and held up something gold and shiny. “Would you do the honors?” he asked, staring up at him with round eyes.

And James’ breath caught when he looked down, instantly recognizing the constellation pin sparkling in his hand—the one he’d given him for Christmas!—and grinned broadly, his eyes shining. “Of course! Give it here!” he said, carefully sliding one hand down the front of his jersey and attaching the pin, right next to the Gryffindor shield he’d given him so many years ago. And then, unable to control himself, he leaned down and pecked his lips, gripping him firmly by the shoulders.

And though the gesture was slight, he felt it all the way from his head down to his toes. But especially in his _heart_.

Sirius’ cheeks flushed a gorgeous pink as he gazed up at him, his irresistible lips parted in awe.

And James struggled not to kiss him again.

“ _You’re_ my good luck charm,” he leaned towards him and whispered, his green eyes narrowed to his mouth.

***

~S~

As James went over plays with the team it was hard to concentrate on what he was saying. Aside from his distractingly gorgeous face, and the cock-aching way he filled out his pants… _Dear god, put me out of my misery…_ the crowds outside were getting louder and louder and Sirius felt liable to snap.

He was literally afraid he might puke.

Most people would never suspect that he’d be afraid to do anything, much less play a _game_ , but the first Quidditch match of the season was undeniably daunting. It set the precedence for the entire season. And he didn’t want to let his House down…

And especially not James.

He stared at him wistfully, wishing he could bottle some of his confidence and use it.

James always kept his calm in the midst of chaos.

It was one of the things he admired most about him…and what made him such a fantastic Quidditch captain.

***

~J~

James wiped the sweat off his upper lip and raked his hair back.

_Mother of Merlin…_

The first match of the season was always the most nerve-wracking and he just wanted to get it over with.

He was also extra anxious over _Sirius_.

Whilst he felt confident they could still play amazingly well together, and maybe even _better_ than before, he felt a protectiveness over him that was new and, albeit, _distracting_.

_If anyone hurts him, I swear to god…_

But he doubted that the Hufflepuff Beaters would play dirty and deliberately cause any unnecessary harm (at least not like _Slytherin_ would). But _still_ …he wasn’t the least bit keen on the idea of Sirius getting injured.

“Alright, team, ready?” he asked.

“Ready!” they all yelled in unison, pumping their fists in the air.

He stared directly at Sirius for a beat, and then nodded his head.

_Show time…_

The door was thrown open wide and they were blasted with the sight of blinding snow and sunlight and the sounds of students chanting “Gryffindor!” and “Hufflepuff!” at the top of their lungs.

He swallowed hard, gripping his broom tightly, and led the way out onto the field. He could feel Sirius close by his side, giving him the extra confidence he needed.

Half the stands were decked out in maroon and gold with students holding up signs of enchanted, roaring lions, and the other half, a sea of yellow and black, dotted with signs of dancing badgers.

He looked up at the cheering stands of Gryffindor and grinned.

Despite the nerves, he loved the thrill of a match. Bloody _lived_ for it.

He threw his broom over his shoulder (a new Shooting Star his parents had surprised him with as a belated Christmas gift) and the crowd went wild.

_Here we go…_

***

~S~

Sirius trotted behind James, smirking at what a fame-hog he was.

James always did love the limelight and he wasn’t the least bit _shy_ about it either; it was one of the very first things Sirius had noticed about him when they’d met—James Potter wasn’t the least bit reserved about his athletic talents or his love for Quidditch.

Sirius watched as the Hufflepuff captain walked forward and shook hands with James.

_They’re probably squeezing the hell out of each other’s fingers…_

And then everyone moved back, sizing each other up, and waiting for the game to begin.

Madam Hooch walked to the middle of the pitch, blew her shrill whistle which echoed around the stands like a screaming banshee, and both teams mounted their brooms. The two iron Bludgers shot straight up into the air, followed by the Quaffle, and then the Golden Snitch.

In an instant, everyone was up and flying.

Flashes of Gryffindor crimson and Hufflepuff yellow filled the sky and James was the first to snatch the Quaffle; he raced towards the goal post with Sirius and Remus hot on his tail and three Hufflepuffs in close pursuit.

But no one could compete with his lightning fast broom.

Sirius swerved to the right, just as a Bludger nearly hit James in the head, throwing him off course. In the nick of time, James saw him coming and threw him the ball. Sirius caught it and raced forward, leaning down on his broom and gaining speed. He kept his focus on the three Gryffindor goalposts just ahead and swung around the tallest one, chucking the Quaffle right through it, relief and ecstasy flooding his body.

_Fuck yeah!_

The Gryffindor stands went wild.

But he was more excited to see James’ face, beaming back at him full of pride.

Sirius grinned from ear to ear and pumped his fist in the air.

They continued to score goal after goal using their incredible ability to stay in sync and predict the other one’s next move whilst Moony protected them from behind.

At one point, James was hit seriously hard in the shoulder by a rogue Bludger, nearly knocking him off his broom. The crowd gasped in horror, and in an instant, Sirius was there, sidling up alongside him and catching his weight, steadying him on his broom.

“Are you okay?!” he yelled, trying to make his voice heard above the roar of the crowd.

James was still leaning forward uneasily, clutching his shoulder with his left hand and panting.

“James?” he snapped.

James looked up at him with pain-filled eyes and grimaced.

“Call a time out! Right NOW! Sirius shrieked. 

Without a fight, James made the signal and Madam Hooch blew her shrill whistle.

Once on the ground, Sirius jumped off his broom and rushed to his side. “Are you okay?”

“I dunno,” James replied, wincing and moving his arm, “I think I can manage…”

Sirius huffed and threw his hands up. “I think you need to sit this one out…”

“Yeah,” Remus said, piping in, “Sirius and I can manage.”

“NO!” James barked, making everyone raise their brows. “I can manage. I’ll go get it taken care of _after_ we win,” he said with a slight grin.

Sirius pursed his lips.

“Look, if you guys can just give me more time, I’ll get the blasted Snitch and end this thing,” Penelope Patil shouted, a look of determination clouding her dusky eyes.

“Okay,” James said swallowing hard. “Let’s do this.”

Sirius shook his head in frustration and mounted his broom.

_Bloody git. He’ll die before quitting._

James gave the signal and Madam Hooch blew her whistle again.

The game was back on.

All players returned to the air and the stands erupted with cheers.

A Hufflepuff boy had control of the Quaffle and tossed it to another Chaser. James zoomed forward and intercepted, grabbing the ball and then throwing it to Sirius. Sirius threw it back to him, and then a Hufflepuff boy got between them, straining to grab it, but James threw a _Reverse Pass_ back to Sirius, who whipped around and flung it through the goal post.

The bell dung and the crowd went wild.

Sirius was grinning so hard his face hurt, he loved it when they worked together so brilliantly.

Suddenly, the two Seekers appeared, chasing after the Snitch, moving so fast it was a golden blur in the sky in front of them; it abruptly darted straight down and they quickly followed.

Penelope Patil took a nose dive towards the pitch, straining out her hand and coming awfully close to the ground.

Everyone held their breath.

At the very last second she clasped her fingers around the Snitch and righted her broom, barely missing collision.

“GRYFFINDOR WINS!” the announcer bellowed.

Madam Hooch blew her whistle, signaling the end of the game, and the Gryffindor cheers filled the stadium with a deafening roar.

***

~J~

James and Sirius touched down and bounded off their brooms and were instantly swallowed up by their excited teammates. The rest of Gryffindor ran out onto the field and swarmed them, chanting “Gryffindor!” over and over as they hoisted Penelope up on their shoulders.

James looked over at Sirius and beamed, so proud of their teamwork.

“Let’s celebrate!” the crowd cheered around them.

The team went straight to the locker rooms whilst everyone else headed back to the castle to get the party started.

“We did it!” James exclaimed to the rest of the team, unstrapping his gear. “We won the first bloody match of the season!”

“Yes!” they said pumping their fists.

“Now take a shower because you stink!” he said with a grin.

They all laughed and dispersed to their lockers.

And then he leaned into Sirius, “You were bloody _brilliant_ out there, babe,” he whispered.

“So were _you_ ,” Sirius replied with a sideways glance, his lip twitching. “But we need to get you to Madam Pomfrey, STAT,” he said sternly.

James shook his head and grinned before turning and heading towards the showers. He was so full of adrenaline he’d nearly forgotten all about his arm, but now that he did remember it, all he could feel was a throbbing pain.

~~~

James grinned, “This broom is pretty brilliant!”

“Yeah, as if you needed anything else to make you a _star_ …now you’re bloody _riding one_ …” Sirius said shaking his head.

James barked out a laugh and went to punch him in the shoulder, but felt a sharp pain and let out a muffled groan instead.

“Love!” Sirius hissed. “Would you _stop_ moving it?! We’re almost there…” he huffed, guiding him into the hospital wing with his hand placed gently but determinedly on his lower back.

“Quidditch injury?” Madam Pomfrey asked as she rushed towards them, her white apron billowing around her.

“Yeah,” James croaked. “It’s my arm.” He handed his broom off to Sirius.

“Come and sit down and we’ll have a look.”

She shot a glance at Sirius and narrowed her eyes at him, but he didn’t budge.

James started to smile, feeling his heart expand, and sat down on the hospital bed. “I think it’s just a bit of bruising…”

“Off with your shirt,” she snapped.

His eyes flicked to Sirius.

Sirius stood there with his arms crossed over his chest and his eyebrows furrowed and then nodded in approval.

James started to pull it off with one hand, grunting from the pain, and in an instant, Sirius was by his side, carefully helping him with it, and then with his white undershirt.

James gasped when he turned and saw the massive bruise blooming on his bicep, stretching all the way up to the top of his shoulder and around to his collar bone.

“Nasty bruise,” Madam Pomfrey muttered, assessing the damage with her fingers and making him clench his jaw every time she poked at him.

“There may be a torn muscle here,” she said, feeling around.

***

~S~

James’ eyes were full to the brim with water as he stared up at Sirius, silently pleading for help.

“Perhaps he should have some kind of _pain killer_ ,” Sirius snapped, his heart beating harder. He couldn’t bear to see him struggling.

“Yes, yes, we’ll get to that…but first I need to make my assessment,” Pomfrey said, poking James again and causing him to let out a strangled yelp.

And Sirius was only a second away from literally shoving her aside when she finally exclaimed, “Ah-ha! Yes, the muscle is a bit torn here…” and then she started mumbling something unintelligible about essence of Dittany and some other medicine he’d never heard of. When she finally walked away, he reached out and rested his hand on James’ other shoulder, patting him lightly. “Hang in there, love,” he whispered.

James smiled tightly and nodded.

Madam Pomfrey returned with a spoonful of something pink and fowl smelling. “Here, swallow this; it should do the trick,” she said, holding it up to James’ mouth.

James flicked his eyes to Sirius before taking the spoon in his mouth and swallowing, a horrified grimace sliding across his face. “Bleh! That was horrid!” he spat, smacking his lips.

“What’d you expect? _Pumpkin Juice_?” Madam Pomfrey asked with a sly smirk. “Now, you’ll need plenty of rest, and here—put this ointment on the bruise two times a day until it’s healed.”

Sirius immediately reached out and snatched the small tin can from her hand, sliding it into his pocket. “We will,” he said determinedly.

A limping Hufflepuff boy suddenly entered the room, helped out by another team member, and Sirius stared at him for a moment, vaguely remembering knocking him off his broom during one particularly violent play…

“Well, off you go now!” Madam Pomfrey said. “And get plenty of rest!”

He helped James get his clothes back on whilst shooting glances at the injured boy. He never really felt bad for wounding another player; it was all just part of the game, but suddenly, he imagined them as James and felt very differently. He’d still continue to be violent and unforgiving in a match, of course, but he felt a new kind of sympathy take hold of his heart...Something he wasn’t used to having.

“Alright, love, it’s back to the dorms we go…and you’re going to _rest_.”

“Right,” James wheezed, “when there’s a bloody _party_ going on downstairs.”

Sirius huffed. “Just don’t over-extend yourself…so we can go do other, more _relaxing things_ ,” he said, caressing the back of his hand with his fingertips and grinning.

***

~S~

When they climbed through the portrait hole their mouths fell open at the sight of the wild party going on inside the Gryffindor common room.

Filibuster fireworks were bouncing off the ceiling, spraying sparks of maroon and gold, as multicolored streamers shot across the room. Penelope Patil was still being hoisted up on people’s shoulders as they noisily chanted over their victory.

Everyone turned to look at them and cheered even louder.

They waded through the crowds, grinning broadly, and made their way over to a table loaded with sweets and sugary drinks.

“Oh, look, there’s Butterbeer, and Bat Blood Punch, oh and Pumpkin Fizz!” James said with obvious delight.

“You know that stuff tickles my nose and makes me sneeze,” Sirius said with a huff. He reached up and plucked a curly string of confetti out of James’ hair, smirking.

“Oh, right. Stay away from the Pumpkin Fizz, then!”

Sirius grabbed a Pumpkin Pasty and shoved it in his mouth, suddenly realizing just how ravenous he was.

“You need to eat something,” he said sternly, looking up at James.

James grabbed something off the table and shoved it in his mouth with a sly grin.

“No—" Sirius started to say, but it was too late.

James opened his mouth and a huge jet of blue fire shot out, and then he started laughing and wincing at the same time.

“Pepper Imps, you _git_ ,” Sirius said with a bemused chuckle. “And quit hurting your blasted arm!”

"You eat one,” James said holding one out to him.

“No, thank you! I like to keep my fire down below…if you _know_ what I mean…”

James started laughing loudly and then grabbed a Pumpkin Fizz and gulped it down.

“C’mon, let’s go sit down, you need to rest,” Sirius said, tugging his good arm.

“Alright,” James huffed.

They pushed through the crowd and went and sat by the fire, barely able to talk because the room was filled with so much noise.

After a few minutes of frustration, Sirius had had enough. This was not the kind of _celebration_ he’d been looking forward to.

“Hey,” he said, nudging James’ knee, I think we should go and have a rest…you look beat.”

“Yeah, okay,” James said, blinking slowly, already looking half-asleep, his face soft and his eyes droopy.

_Too. Bloody. Adorable.  
_

They got up and headed for the stairs when Sirius noticed Remus and Lily sitting in the corner talking, and he just couldn’t help himself. “Having your own party?” he asked, his hands on his hips and his brow cocked.

They both whipped their heads up at the same time, their faces red and surprised.

Then Lily smirked and leaned back in her chair. “So what if we are?” she said cockily.

Sirius did not expect that. Not at all. “Did you get Snivellus’, I mean _Severus’_ , permission first?” he snapped back.

“No, he doesn’t have to approve of _everything_ I do.”

“Really? Because that’s not the impression—“

James elbowed him in the ribs.

“Excuse him, he’s had too much punch and I’m pretty sure it’s _spiked_.”

Lily frowned disapprovingly and then turned her attention to James.

“You played a great game today!” she said beaming, “Both of you, I mean.”

“Thanks!” he said, standing taller and puffing out his chest. “I think I owe it all to the Shooting Star!”

_Oh, Merlin…here we go…_

“Oh, do you have it? I’ve always wanted to see one up close!” Lily said excitedly.

“Sure! I’ll go get it! Hang on.”

Sirius turned back and frowned. He couldn’t believe James was indulging her. And judging by the sour look on Remus’ face, he wasn’t too thrilled either.

An awkward beat passed as they all stared at each other until James re-appeared, proudly holding the broom in his large hand. “Mum and dad sent it to me as a surprise!”

“It’s lovely!” Lily said, trailing her fingers down the glossy wooden handle.

Sirius just crossed his arms and huffed whilst Remus watched her movements intensely, never blinking.

“You’re pretty good on a broom, right?” James asked her.

Sirius nearly choked on air.

She laughed as a deep blush colored her freckled cheeks. “Pretty good,” she replied.

“Why haven’t you ever tried out for the team?” he asked eagerly.

“Well, I thought it was _obvious_ ,” she said, raising her brows at him.

“Oh,” he said, going red.

And Sirius had to bite his tongue.

“Yeah, well, things are _different_ now so…maybe you should try out next year, we’ll need a new Seeker what with Penelope graduating.”

“I’ll think about it!” she said, handing him his broom back. Then she glanced at each of them with wide eyes. “Well, I guess I should be going…”

“I’ll see you later?” Remus asked, looking positively crestfallen.

“Yeah, probably,” she said with a half-smile, and then ran up the stairs to the girl’s dorms, taking two at a time.

Sirius was still staring at James incredulously, his arms crossed over his chest whilst tapping his foot irritably. 

“What?” James asked with wide, doe-eyes.

“C’mon, you dickweasel,” he grumbled, grabbing him by his good arm and pulling him towards the stairs. “Sorry for interrupting your moment, Moony,” he said over his shoulder, thoroughly wishing he’d just kept his mouth shut and walked right by them.

_I just can’t leave well enough alone…_

“What’s the matter with you?” James asked as they walked up the stairs.

“You!”

“Me?! What did _I_ do?”

“Did you _really_ have to whip out your broom for her? _And_ let her touch it?”

“God, you make it sound so dirty…like I pulled out my _cock_ for her! _”_ James hissed.

“Well, that’s about how it _felt_ ,” Sirius snapped, turning the brass knob to their door and throwing it open.

“I was just being _nice_!”

“ _Too_ nice.”

“Well, _excuse me_ for being _too bloody nice_ …I didn’t know it was a crime.”

“Stop!” Sirius barked.

“What?”

“Stop being such an _arse_ and take _my feelings_ into consideration…I know you love being a bloody show-off and I’m okay with that…Truly. That’s just how you are…but just don’t be that with _her_ …or any other girl for that matter!”

James sat down on his bed and leaned back against the headboard, crossing his muscular arms and staring at the opposite wall.

A moment of silence passed between them.

“I’m sorry,” he finally mumbled. “I just wasn’t thinking. I’d have shown my broom to _anyone_ if they’d asked. I’m just excited about it…”

Sirius sat down next to him and leaned back against the pillows in a huff, unable to find the words. Clearly, Lily was still a very touchy subject for him and not something he was going to get over quickly.

“I won’t do it again,” James said emphatically, resting his hand on his thigh. “Forgive me?”

“ _Of course_ ,” Sirius replied.

James squeezed his leg. “I love you…”

“I know,” Sirius huffed.

James turned towards him and leaned forward, gently brushing their lips together.

But Sirius didn’t respond, still brooding.

James cupped his face with one hand and pressed harder, sliding his tongue between his lips, clearly trying to pry his way inside, and Sirius couldn’t stay cross any longer. His heart beat faster and his lips slowly stretched up into a smile. “Now can we celebrate?” he mumbled against his mouth.

“Ah, I thought you’d never ask,” James sighed, before kissing him harder.

Sirius felt a delicious warmth spread through his body, and he turned towards him and stared in his eyes, carefully brushing his hair out of his face and tucking it behind his ear.

“Thanks for taking care of me, babe,” James breathed, running his thumb back and forth under his bottom lip.

Sirius melted into the bed and curled his toes.

“Always,” he whispered, leaning towards him and feeling his heart pound out of his chest.

James’ green eyes blazed and his lips twitched upwards.

And Sirius had to admit, when James’ mouth came down on his own and his hands trailed knowingly up under his shirt and across his bare skin, scattering goose bumps and making his heart nearly combust...it was the best damn victory celebration he’d ever had.

***

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 🎉❤️⭐️🦌❤️🎉


	33. Dance Education

***

~S~

  
Monday arrived in a blink and the school was abuzz with excitement over the dance lessons they would be participating in that afternoon. Professor McGonagall would be overseeing their dance education—something Sirius found quite comical due to the fact that she was known as the _stiffest_ teacher at Hogwarts. “Frivolity” was not in her dictionary and he snickered every time he visualized her trying to _bust a move_.

“So what kind of dances do you think she’ll make us do?” James asked as they made their way towards the ballroom.

“What does it matter? I’m sure you’ll have _no_ problem with them…seeing as how you’re such an _expert_ ,” Sirius said with a smirk, ribbing him in the side.

“Yeah, we haven’t all taken _dance lessons_ ,” Remus muttered from behind them.

“Hey! It was my _mum_! She _made_ me…I swear to god. Do you think I _wanted_ to be tortured like that every summer of my youth?”

“Right,” Sirius muttered with a grin.

They found the entrance to the ballroom crammed full of overly-excited fifth years and less than enthused sixth and seventh years.

Sirius turned back to say something to Remus, but he was gone.

“Well, he didn’t waste any time…” James said.

“Huh?”

“Moony. He’s over there,” he pointed.

Remus was standing next to Lily, animatedly chattering away and blushing up a storm whilst Snape ignored them both, too engrossed in his book by the looks of it. Clearly the bat didn’t see Moony as a _real_ threat.

_He probably should...it’s the shy ones you gotta watch out for._

“How the hell did he get over there so fast?” he asked.

“Dunno, but I guess he isn’t giving up after all...Maybe he’s finally grown a pair.”

Sirius snickered as they pushed their way over to them.

“Hey, what’s up?” James asked.

“Oh, we were just discussing what kinds of _dance styles_ Professor McGonagall might have in mind for us!” Lily said excitedly.

“Probably something _ancient_!” James replied loudly, a huge grin on his face.

Sirius just smirked at him and shook his head.

“Well, I’m grateful for your vote of _confidence_ , Mr. Potter,” Professor McGonagall said from behind him, her lips puckered as if she were sucking on a lemon and her grey eyes narrowed down her long nose.

James spun around quickly, “Oh!…um…I just meant that…”

“ _You_ will be my dance partner, Mr. Potter, and we’ll see just how _ancient_ my skills are!”

James just stood there with his mouth hanging open.

And Sirius had to stop himself from bursting out laughing.

_Poor git…_

McGonagall whisked past them, her black robes billowing behind her, and opened the giant double doors into the ballroom.

Lily and Remus both looked to James and started chuckling; even Snape’s lip twitched up slightly.

They followed the rest of the students into the room, taking in the stunning cream-colored marble floors and gilded windows that stretched up to the ceiling, and the massive, sparkling chandelier, casting its rainbow light on the golden walls.

It really was a beautiful place.

And Sirius would die before saying it, but he used to imagine what it would be like to dance in this very room with James. He still remembered the first time they’d secretly discovered it whilst on one of their midnight roams in the castle...And he had this completely embarrassing vision of James, dressed like some kind of fairytale prince, in a beautiful, white satin suit with gold trim (he’d seen a picture of something like that in one of Mrs. Potter’s catalogs), and he’d bow low and reach out his large, gold-ringed hand and ask for a dance...

The sound of Professor McGonagall’s shrill voice suddenly jerked him from his fantasies.

“Now, now students…Settle down, _settle down_ ,” she said, raising her wand to her throat and amplifying her voice. “Everyone take off your school robes—you need to be able to move _freely_ ,” she bellowed, her voice cracking slightly at the end.

Sirius chuckled and glanced sideways at James, who seemed to be having a fight with his robe—it was currently tangled around his head like a turban as he struggled to get it off. Sirius smirked and tried to help him by taking ahold of the hem, but as he did, James’ undershirt slid up his stomach, showing the briefest strip of bare skin below his navel, and the tempting line of hair dipping just below his trousers.

Sirius’ heart stopped.

_Christ!_

He quickly averted his eyes and sucked in a gulp of air.

_No. Just no. You are not getting a hard-on right now…Hell no._

James finished yanking his robe off and stared down at him with narrowed eyes.

Sirius tried to regain his composure by looking away, but he was sure his flushed cheeks and heavy breathing were a dead giveaway.

And then James had the _audacity_ to step closer and whisper, “Hungry?” right by his ear, his deep, sexy voice making him positively wilt, which did absolutely nothing to help matters. 

_Fucking hell, James…_

James just grinned smugly and tossed his robe to the side.

“You arse!” Sirius hissed, red-faced and twitchy, wishing he could keep his robe on to hide his growing _desire_ …

He huffed and tried to think of something _less_ desirable than James’ lower belly…

And then he looked up to see McGonagall, staring at them like some kind of shrew.

_Problem solved._

***

~J~

“Now, James Potter has _graciously_ volunteered to be my demonstration partner,” the Professor said, and a group of fifth year girls immediately started giggling.

James, red-faced and squirming, glanced sideways at Sirius with a scowl.

He couldn’t _believe_ McGonagall was really going to put him through this. When would he ever learn to keep his big mouth shut?

Sirius gave him a small, sympathetic smile in return, which did nothing to calm his embarrassment.

“Come, Mr. Potter!” the professor barked.

He strode towards her, stopping hesitantly just a foot away, and then she promptly reached out and grabbed hold of his hand, placing it firmly on her waist.

_Dear god…_

And then Sirius let out a loud wolf-whistle and the room erupted in laughter.

James wanted to _die_. Or _kill him_. Or _both_.

“Thank you, Mr. Black, for that _encouragement_ ,” Professor McGonagall snipped.

James swallowed hard and took a deep breath. Surely he’d done more embarrassing things than dance with McGonagall…though, nothing was coming to mind at the moment.

“Now, first we will be practicing a simple Waltz…Mr. Potter, just follow along with me—a-one-two-three, a-one-two-three…” she said repeatedly as they started gliding across the room.

_Merlin, help me…_

  
  
***

~S~

Sirius wasn’t surprised to see that James could dance, but _everyone else_ certainly was. A hush fell over the crowd as they watched him take the lead and effortlessly glide the Professor around the room as if they were floating on a cloud…

If James were embarrassed, he certainly hid it well.

“Alright,” Professor McGonagall said as they came to a stop, “it would appear that Mr. Potter has _many_ talents up his sleeve, and being an excellent _Chaser_ is just _one_ of them.”

Every girl in the room swooned.

And Sirius clenched his jaw.

He didn’t appreciate James’ charms being put on display…

_Bloody hell! As if he wasn’t already desired enough!_

“Now, who would like to have him as their partner?”

A ravenous crowd of girls suddenly rushed forward, steam-rolling anyone unfortunate enough to get in their way.

Sirius grunted as someone whacked into his arm.

“Now, now, there are _plenty_ of young men for all of you, let’s not trample this one to death…”

“Potter, pick a girl!” McGonagall barked.

Sirius’ head snapped up faster than a whip and his eyes locked on James’.

James stared back at him and winced, shrugging his shoulders slightly as if saying, _what am I supposed to do?_

And Sirius’ heart dropped.

He knew it was ridiculous, but somehow, he hadn’t actually expected James to _dance_ with any girls.

And then, to his complete shock, a bold fifth year girl shoved her way to the front and grabbed onto James’ arm, smirking deviously as the rest of the girls in the room shot daggers at her.

_You’ve got to be fucking kidding me?!_

His blood was boiling over.

“Everyone partner up! Quickly, now!” the Professor barked. “Professor Flitwick, if you could be so kind as to start the music!”

The little grey-haired wizard standing atop a stack of books put the needle on the giant wooden record player and a classical tune filled the air.

There was a moment of chaos as people rushed to pair up, and for the unsure stragglers, Professor McGonagall was right there, shoving them together forcefully.

Sirius looked up in surprise to see a line of girls eagerly awaiting his attention. But it didn’t quell his anger in the least. He huffed and went straight for the first one he saw, never taking his eyes off James.

“A-one-two-three, a-one-two-three…” McGonagall kept repeating as she walked amongst the struggling couples. “Stand farther apart!” she said to one overly-eager couple, and to a shy one, “You have to at least _touch_ the girl in order to dance, boy! She won’t bite you!”

“A-one-two-three, a-one-two-three…”

Sirius grimaced as his partner stepped on his foot for the millionth time. He darted his eyes around the room in a panic. He couldn’t keep tabs on James with the constantly moving crowd.

“Now, everyone switch partners and keep going!” the Professor barked, waving her wand as if she were conducting an orchestra. 

Everyone froze and then there was another round of pandemonium as people scrambled to find new partners.

Another overly-zealous girl grabbed Sirius’ hand and grinned up at him like some kind of intoxicated _erkling_. He tried not to grimace as he stared down into her beady, black eyes and pudgy, round face, but it was nearly impossible. 

_This is pure torture_.

He looked around frantically, trying to find James again, and then yelped as he felt a hand slide down his back to the base of his arse.

“Oh, sorry!” the girl giggled, turning bright pink before looking over to her friends and winking.

Sirius merely grunted, feeling positively sick.

_Kill me now._

***

~J~

James thought his eyes were playing tricks on him when he saw Sirius’ dance partner slide her hand down his back, far too close to his precious arse.

_What the fuck?_

He blinked several times, feeling his face heat, and then promptly picked up his dance partner and strode over to where they were, red-hot anger flooding his veins and his nostrils flaring to the size of small dinner plates. He desperately shoved his way through the rotating crowd, trying to get to him, but there were too many bloody people, and he kept getting stuck along the outer edge as if he were on a carousel. 

_Bloody hell…Where is he?!_

“Now, let’s switch partners one last time!” Professor McGonagall shouted over the music as she held her wand up to her throat.

Amidst the chaos, he caught sight of Remus and Lily and immediately felt relieved; if there was anyone he’d rather dance with than Sirius, it would be _Lily_ —at least she wouldn’t goggle at him, and plus, he already knew she was a good dancer.

“Don’t mind if I still steal your partner, do you, Moony?” he asked playfully.

Remus just huffed and stepped back, almost instantly snatched away by a very eager Matilda Pennyworth.

Lily chuckled and took his outstretched hand, placing her other one atop his shoulder. “I’m honored! You could have had the pick of literally _any_ girl in the room!”

James snorted, grateful that she was at least in good spirits. “I wanted a partner who actually _knew_ what they were doing,” he said smiling down at her.

She beamed back, her green eyes shining, and he suddenly couldn’t help but think that if given the chance, they really could be _good friends_. Maybe his attraction to her all along was really one of deep friendship…like they were kindred spirits or something...as daft as that sounded.

“What do you say we put on a bit of a show for them?” he asked.

Lily grinned up at him, a mischievous spark in her green eyes. “Alright, lead the way!”

“Don’t mind if I do!” he said merrily, squeezing her hand tighter and grinning.

They quickly found their rhythm and proceeded to dance around the room in perfect unison. The crowds parted and everyone gave them the center of the floor, watching in awe as he expertly twirled and guided her with confidence. He couldn’t help but beam from all the attention.

“Oh, bravo! _Bravo!”_ Professor McGonagall gushed in admiration. “And _that’s_ how it’s done!” she said clasping her hands together. “Now, I’m afraid we’re all out of time, but you did splendidly well, and I feel confident that this year’s Valentine’s dance will be a success! Don’t forget to collect your robes!”

“That was fun!” James half-yelled as the room filled with excited chatter.

“Yes, it really was! I’m so glad someone here actually _knows_ how to dance!” Lily chuckled.

“Me, too!”

They smiled at each other for a moment.

“Well, I better go find Sirius!”

“And I better go find Sev!”

They parted ways and James waded through the students, looking everywhere for a glimpse of Sirius’ black hair or a flash of his blue eyes, but he couldn’t find him anywhere.

_Where in the hell is he?_

He snatched his robe up and walked back to the entrance of the room where he found Lily and Remus standing by the doors.

“Has anyone seen Sirius?”

“No. Maybe he headed back to the dorm?” Remus suggested.

“Yeah, maybe,” he replied, feeling a pain shoot through his heart.

“C’mon, let’s all walk back together,” Remus said.

“Well, I was trying to find Sev…” Lily trailed off, biting her lip anxiously.

“Maybe he’s with _Sirius_ ,” James muttered, starting to feel distraught.

“Doubtful,” a cold voice said from the shadows.

They all flinched.

Snape emerged from behind a pillar with his arms crossed over his chest; his black eyes like two hollow tunnels.

“Uh, I’ll see you guys later, okay?” Lily said wearily, her eyes glued to the bat’s unpleasant face.

James just shrugged, his mind elsewhere. “Did you see him leave the room at all?” he asked Remus as they started walking down the corridor.

“No. Last I saw, he was standing towards the back of the crowd, wearing a scowl…probably upset over you dancing with _her_.”

James’ heart dropped.

_Shit…_

He hadn’t been thinking…

He’d just been so caught up in the moment…

 _Of course_ Sirius would be furious he was dancing with Lily, _of all people_. But what was the alternative? Some handsy fifth-year that repeatedly stepped on his feet like a damn troll?

He started running.

_Shit, shit, shit…_

He bolted up the stairs in the common room and burst through the door to their bedroom.

His heart stopped.

“Sirius?”

Sirius was lying stretched out on the bed, staring up at the ceiling with a lifeless expression.

He walked closer, feeling as if he’d just been punched in the gut.

A crying Sirius might have been better. An _angry_ Sirius _definitely_ would have been better…But a silent, non-responsive one? Not good.

_So not good._

He kept walking.

“Jus’ go away,” Sirius said quietly.

James clenched his jaw. “No, I will not,” he said firmly as he kicked off his shoes and crawled up onto the bed next to him, lying down on his side. “What’s the matter?” he whispered, already knowing the answer but still praying it might be something different.

“What do you _think_?” Sirius asked sadly, turning his face to look at him.

James winced. “Was it because of the dance...with Lily?”

“Yes…” he said flatly.

“But it didn’t _mean anything_ …”

“Maybe not to _you_ …but it did to _me_.”

“But it was just a _dance_ , and if I couldn’t dance with _you_ , I’d have much rather danced with _her—_ she doesn’t gawk at me like all those bloody fifth years!” he blurted out.

“When has being _gawked at_ ever bothered you before? You bloody _love_ it and you know it.”

James pursed his lips, feeling the sting of his words. They were _mostly_ true after all. His love for attention did sometimes get the best of him. And lately, it seemed to be causing all sorts of trouble.

“You jus’ can’t do things like that,” Sirius muttered. “Did you never think about how it would make me _feel_ to see the two of you dancing together, _of all people?! God_. And how could you completely forget what I told you after the party? Anyone but _her_.”

James furrowed his brows and exhaled, feeling about the size of a pixie. Maybe even smaller _._

“No, I didn’t think of that. Otherwise, I never would have done it. I was being stupid…just got caught up in the moment…she could dance…I was the center of attention…Christ, it was just bloody _stupid_ , I know.”

“Yeah, stupid,” Sirius muttered, wiping at his eyes with the heel of his palm.

“But _god_ , you know I’d never do anything to _intentionally_ hurt you? I just lost my head. I’m so sorry, babe. Please, _please_ forgive me?” he pleaded, sitting up on his knees and anxiously running his hands back through his hair, feeling on the verge of tears himself.

_Why am I always fucking this up?!_

He gripped Sirius’ bicep. “I love you, and you’re the _last_ person in the world I’d ever want to hurt…I…I…”

“Love, I _forgive_ you,” Sirius sighed, resting his hand on his knee and staring up at him with watery blue eyes.

“Really?”

”Of course. But _this_ conversation is starting to get old…Like _Dumbledore_ old.”

James lay back down on his side in a huff. Sirius was right. He needed to grow up and take responsibility for his actions…Stop making the same damn mistakes.

With an aching heart, he reached out and pulled Sirius into his arms, hugging him close, yet not feeling relieved until Sirius softened and wrapped his arms around his back in return, hugging him tight.

“Baby, I’m sorry,” he exhaled by his ear. “I was so stupid and insensitive…”

“It’s okay,” Sirius sighed, pressing his face into his chest.

“No, it’s not. I’m doing a bloody terrible job of considering your feelings and taking care of you.” He pulled back and tilted Sirius’ chin up with his finger, staring deeply into his eyes. “It’s _you_ I’d rather be dancing with anyway, you know?”

Sirius started to smile, his lips twitching up and his eyes darting down in embarrassment. “Really?”

“Yeah, _really_ …And more than just a few laps around the _Room_. I have _fantasies_ about it, if you must know…” he said with a playful sniff.

“W-what?” Sirius chuckled out, looking up at him.

“You’d just make fun of me,” he said grinning, his cheeks flushing.

“But I have a fantasy, too,” Sirius said sheepishly, lightly trailing his fingertips along his jaw.

“What?! You never told me! What’s it about? I need details!” he said excitedly.

Sirius snickered. “I’ll tell you about it some other time…but right now…I just need you to _kiss_ me.”

James stiffened slightly and cast his eyes down to Sirius’ tempting red lips, his heart picking up speed. “You know, I thought I was gonna have to kill one of your dance partners…”

Sirius’ eyes widened. “Which one?”

“The one trying to cop a feel of your arse,” he breathed, slowly leaning in towards his mouth.

“Really?”

“Uh-huh. Damn near lost it. Picked up my partner and went for you…but then I lost you in the crowd…”

Sirius pressed his palms into his chest and pushed him back, blinking rapidly. “You mean you got jealous?”

“Of course! I don’t want _anyone_ touching you. Ever. Much less some twit trying to get her grubby hands on what’s _mine_.”

“And what would that be?”

“Your arse,” James said devilishly, sliding his hands down his hip and grabbing a glorious handful of it.

Sirius flinched slightly and then started grinning.

“You’re mine,” James breathed, and then he surged towards him and claimed his mouth, seeing fireworks as soon as he touched his lips. His heart raced uncontrollably as Sirius opened to him, dug his fingers in his hair and pulled him on top of him. Clearly, he knew how he preferred it—on top and in control.

Sirius wrapped his legs around his hips, squeezing tight and taking his breath away.

_Mother of god!_

Burning in all the right places, James pressed him into the bed, licking harder and hungrier and feeling his groin catch fire. “I’m gonna suck you dry,” he growled by his ear.

Sirius groaned and ran his hands up under his jumper, dragging his fingers down his back and digging his nails into the skin.

_Oh my fucking god..._

Suddenly there was a yelp and a loud thud, making them both freeze.

James whipped his head up to see Peter, scampering across the room in a hurry.

“Peter?! What are you doing?”

Peter froze. “I…I…”

“Were you in here this _whole_ time?!”

“Maybe…uh…I was just trying to nap…and…well you two shouldn’t be in here anyway!” he snapped, his beady eyes darting around the room and his nose twitching.

“OUT!” James bellowed, suddenly knowing _exactly_ how Snivellus must have felt when they’d barged in on him.

The door slammed shut with a bang and he looked down to Sirius in shock.

“Bloody hell! I had _no_ idea he was in here, I swear!” Sirius said.

James exhaled, seeing red.

He reached up to slam the curtains shut and pick up where they left off, but he yanked them so forcefully they were pulled off the track and fluttered to the floor in a heap.

Dust motes swirled in the empty space.

And then, of all things, Sirius started laughing. Wildly. _Ridiculously_. Cackling like a bloody lunatic.

And James tried to keep a straight face, but couldn’t. “Shit,” he muttered, feeling his cheeks burn.

“Prongs,” Sirius sighed, rubbing at his eyes.

James huffed and rolled off the bed, padding over to his nightstand where he grabbed his wand.

“Reparo,” he muttered to the curtains, and watched unenthusiastically as they righted themselves.

_Could this day get any more bloody ridiculous?!_

“C’mere,” Sirius said, holding out his arms.

James’ heart beat faster.

_Maybe we can still repair it…_

He started to smile and ran and pounced on him, making the bed hit the wall with a loud thud.

“Bloody hell! Can you please _try_ not to destroy the room, love?”

James just grinned broadly and pinned him to the bed. He dropped his face down and grazed his bare throat with his lips, trailing kisses down to his collar bone.

Sirius hummed and writhed underneath him, his eyes fluttering shut and his mouth opening slightly.

“He was a RAT!” James exclaimed, pulling back abruptly.

“Huh?”

“Peter, he must have been hiding in here as his _Animagus_ …That’s why you never saw him.”

“Well, that’s just _bloody great_. Now, we have Wormy lurking about, trying to get a glimpse of us...What a perv.”

“Maybe he didn’t do it because of _us_ , maybe he was just in here hiding…”

“But _why_?”

“Because he didn’t wanna go to the dance lessons…Didn’t you notice he wasn’t there?”

“Oh right…No, I was too busy trying to keep tabs on you— _you git_ ,” he said poking him in the rib.

James flinched, “Well, we’re just gonna have to be more careful from now on.”

Sirius clutched onto his chin and pulled his face down. “Yeah, because he could turn up in a broom cupboard with us next…”

“ _Exactly_.”

James leaned the rest of the way down and brushed their lips together, latching onto his bottom lip and sucking.

“At least…we still…have the _Room_...” Sirius breathed amidst his ministrations, tilting his head back and grasping handfuls of his jumper, twisting his fingers into the fabric. 

“True…” James panted by his ear, feeling dizzy, “but we need to make sure he doesn’t follow us.”

”Like we could leave a trail of cheese in the opposite direction...” Sirius murmured, running his hands down to his arse and squeezing hard.

_Mother of Merlin..._

”Or...we could just always make sure to wear the Cloak...” he said in a strained voice.

”Or that, too...”

***

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 😂🐭❤️🧀😘🎉


	34. Perky Bums and Puffs of Glitter

***

~J~

  
Valentine’s Day had finally arrived and Hogwart’s students awoke to find the castle saturated in romantic décor.

There were pink and red paper heart garlands strung down every corridor and flower wreaths hung around every statue, whilst metallic glitter hearts covered the stone floors and stuck to the bottom of everyone’s shoes.

Professor McGonagall seemed particularly horrified by the gaudy display of love. “I don’t know _who_ put all this here,” she muttered as she cautiously touched a string of paper hearts as if they were hexed, “positively revolting…”

James smirked as he and Sirius walked past her, making their way down to the Great Hall for breakfast.

Despite all the sappy décor, he was just excited to spend his very first Valentine’s Day with _his man_. He’d even planned a few surprises for Sirius and couldn’t wait to give him the best _Valentine’s Day blow-job_ of his life. What were boyfriends for, after all?

They found the Great Hall bustling with excitement as heart-eyed couples exchanged Valentines and the less-than-fortunate looked bitterly on.

Remus and Peter were just such a pair.

They found them sitting glumly at the Gryffindor table—which was also covered in pastel paper hearts and pink rose petals.

“Who’d you suspect did all this?” Peter asked, staring down the length of the table in awe, his two buck teeth visible from his partially open mouth.

“Someone that really needs to _get some_ …” Sirius muttered, shooting a sideways glance at James.

James snorted and covered his mouth.

“I bet it was Flitwick,” Peter said seriously.

“Right,” James muttered before biting into a scone he’d just slathered with raspberry jam. “Because he’s just _oozing_ with romance.”

Peter pursed his lips. “So are you two asking anyone to the dance?”

“No, Wormtail…for the _millionth_ time…we’ll just go solo…but _together_ ,” James replied with his mouth still full.

Remus just sighed and sipped his pumpkin juice.

“Well, I don’t think I’m going,” Peter sniffed.

“What, couldn’t get a date?” James asked wiping his mouth and smirking.

“NO! I mean, dancing just isn’t my _thing_ ,” he said going red.

“Well, you’ll be sorely missed,” Sirius muttered.

Peter glared at him.

Suddenly, the room filled with the sounds of screeching owls and flapping wings.

Archimedes swooped low and dropped two bright red cards in James’ lap, just as Onyx dropped a pink one in Sirius’.

James grinned in surprise and eagerly tore into the first one.

It turned out to be a Muggle Valentine from his mum and dad. He turned bright red and quickly stuffed it inside his bag.

And when he got to the second card, it sprang free from its envelope of its own accord and hung in the air above him for all to see. The card opened and a gigantic puff of glitter exploded right in his face, nearly blinding him. And if that wasn’t bad enough, a painfully cheesy romantic tune filled the air as a high-pitched voice screeched out:

_“Happy Valentine’s Day to the one I truuuuuuly love! His eyes are as green as a FROG and his nose is as cute as a BUG!”_

James snapped the card shut.

_Oh…my…god._

He wanted to crawl under the table and literally _die_. He glanced around the room with his mouth hanging open.

Everyone was staring at him.

_Bloody hell..._

His cheeks burned scarlet.

“ _Who_ is that from?” Peter spat.

“I dunno…there’s no name,” he croaked, shoving the card back into the envelope.

“Bloody hell,” Sirius muttered, raking his hair back with wide eyes.

***

~S~

And when James turned slowly round to look at him, Sirius nearly fell over backwards.

James’ face was completely covered in little metallic specks of pink glitter. Even his curls were sparkling.

Sirius doubled over with laughter and started wheezing.

“What?!”

“Your _face!_ ”

James snatched his napkin off the table and rubbed with a vengeance, but still, it wasn’t enough. He looked like a pink pixie. 

Sirius just kept laughing, his sides starting to ache.

“Well, why don’t you open _yours_!” James spat.

“Fine, I will,” he replied, still chuckling and thinking that nothing could possibly be as bad as _that_. He opened the pink envelope and the card immediately popped out, hovering in the air above him just as James’ had. But instead of a puff of glitter to the face, a magicked hand reached out of the card whilst holding onto a golden cup full of heart-shaped confetti, which it promptly dumped over his head with a flourish. And then a strangled voice started screeching:

_“Love me tender, love me sweet, never let me goooooo…”_

Sirius immediately reached up and slammed the thing shut mid-song, smashing it down onto the table with force.

He didn’t think his face could get any redder.

_Wow…just wow._

Everyone at the Gryffindor table was howling with laughter.

He turned to James and shook his head in disbelief, the pile of confetti falling down to his lap like snow (or perhaps a very serious case of dandruff.)

“Who was _that_ from?!” Peter asked, his eyes as wide as saucers.

“There’s no name…” Sirius muttered as he shook more confetti out of his hair and brushed it off his shoulders, even spit some out of his mouth.

James turned towards him and plucked a piece out of his eyelashes, grinning from ear to ear.

“Well, it looks like you two have some secret admirers,” Remus said bitterly, obviously peeved that he didn’t get a Valentine.

Sirius would _gladly_ give him his.

He took a swig of his pumpkin juice and grunted, realizing he’d just swallowed some confetti.

Suddenly, there was a great rumbling and beating of wings as owl after owl flew into the Great Hall—hundreds by the looks of it—and circled high above them, screeching loudly. Everyone stared up at the ceiling in awe. Each bird had a red or pink envelope in its beak; a brilliant sight to behold, that is, until bird droppings started raining down from the ceiling like hail. Students began screaming in terror, hiding under tables or running from the room all together.

And then the owls began swooping low, right towards the Ravenclaw table, dropping all their letters atop a small boy with wavy blonde hair and a cheeky grin on his pink face.

“Who’s that?” Peter asked, now holding his book bag over his head to shield himself.

“Second year—Gilderoy Lockhart,” Remus said with disdain.

By now, there appeared to be at least five hundred owls circling the ceiling as droppings and feathers rained down. The majority of the students had run from the room.

Professor McGonagall stood at the front of the Hall, her beady eyes bulging and her mouth hanging open, “Everyone OUT!” she bellowed, holding her wand to her throat. “Breakfast is canceled! Due to...to...OWLS!”

Completely undeterred, the blonde-haired boy by the name of Gilderoy stood atop his table and gleefully snatched up the Valentines still being pelted towards his head, grinning as if it were the happiest moment of his short life.

“He was probably the same git that decorated the castle!” Sirius yelped as they took their chance and ran out of the room, trying to avoid all of the unsavory puddles on the floor as they went.

“Well, he clearly loves _mail_!” James chuckled.

“How d’you know him, anyway?” Peter asked Remus.

“I’ve had to tutor him before. Terrible at Defense Against the Dark Arts. Simply ghastly. And he wouldn’t listen to a single word I said—he swore he already _knew_ everything…the git.”

“Well, he doesn’t seem to be the _brightest_ lad,” James snickered.

The boy was now holding his arms out in the air as letters and feathers continued to rain down on him.

“Just wants fame and attention by the looks of it,” Sirius muttered, shaking his head.

And then they raced back up to Gryffindor Tower before their Potions lesson, wanting to make certain they were bird-dropping and glitter free.

***

~S~

When they entered their Potions class they saw that it too was decorated, but by the looks of it, Professor Slughorn had done it all himself. Red and Pink glass orbs floated around his chalkboard, and a pink, overly-sweet smelling rose wreath with little dancing naked cupids, hung from the front of his desk. It was quite distracting.

“Bleh,” James muttered as he nudged Sirius in the side.

“I _know_.”

Sirius glanced around the room and noticed Lily and Snape standing rather close together at their desk and he wondered if the bat had sent her an embarrassing singing Valentine.

Sirius used to play a Valentine’s prank on Snivellus every year. He loved sending him horrible singing cards that droned on about the enormous size of his hooked nose or his repulsive, greasy hair. But now that they’d made their agreement about the Room, he figured those days were long gone.

“Welcome, welcome!” Professor Slughorn said cheerily, his plump cheeks rosy. “And a Happy Valentine’s Day to you all!” he said whilst tugging down the pink, shimmery vest he wore over his rotund belly. Clearly, he’d saved the outfit for just this special occasion. “Today, we’re going to do something extra special! Whoever can brew the perfect ‘Draught of Living Death’ will win this bottle of my very own specially made _love potion_!” he said, clasping his hands together gleefully.

“I thought those were _illegal_ at Hogwarts,” James hissed to Sirius.

“But have no fear! I know the school’s strict policies on such things…This potion is simply a very light _ambrosia_ that gives the drinker a pleasant, _rosy_ feeling…” he trailed off, a blissful expression on his face.

_Cleary, the Slug makes his own sedatives…_

“I think he drinks it on the regular…” Sirius muttered.

James snickered and looked down.

“Well, I don’t think _we’re_ in need of a _love potion_ ,” Sirius whispered.

“No, but I wouldn’t mind feeling _rosy_ …” James replied with a grin, elbowing him in the arm.

“Now, everyone gather your supplies from page two-hundred and sixteen, prepare your cauldrons, and get started!”

After half an hour’s tedious work, James and Sirius’ cauldrons were both simmering, but unfortunately, their brews didn’t look very promising. When done correctly, the Draught was supposed to turn a pale lilac color and then clear.

Both of theirs were a goopy black.

In order to test the potion’s accuracy one was supposed to throw a fresh leaf into the pot; if it disintegrated, it was done correctly, but if done wrong, the leaf would merely float. 

Sirius glanced over at Snape; he was standing in front of his cauldron wearing the smuggest of smiles. Knowing the greasy bat, he was probably an expert on this _particular potion_ , just waiting for a chance to use it on his enemies…

“My, my Severus! This does look promising! And so does yours, Miss Evans! Yes, indeed!” Slughorn gushed, and then he walked over to James and Sirius’ table and grimaced. “Well, it was a good effort,” he said smiling sadly up at James.

Sirius gritted his teeth.

“Alright, alright class,” everyone stand back from your cauldrons and I will come and inspect them!”

Slughorn then proceeded to walk around the room, dropping leaves in all their concoctions and muttering to himself. When he was finally finished, he went and stood in front of his flower-smothered desk and clasped his hands.

“And the winner of my Sweet Ambrosia is…”

“Ten to one it’s the bat,” Sirius whispered to James.

“Severus Snape!”

Everyone grumbled.

Snape _always_ won the competitions; the only time he didn’t, was when he clearly let Lily win instead.

Sirius grimaced as he watched him walk to the front and receive the tiny glass bottle full of pink liquid; it was so unfair.

Suddenly, the dungeon door opened and a very disgruntled looking dwarf walked in wearing nothing but a giant red heart on either side of his small, plump body. He held a cupid’s bow in one hand and a piece of pink parchment in the other.

“Ahem,” he said, “James Potter?”

“Well, well! How fascinating!” Slughorn beamed. “James, you have a visitor!”

The dwarf turned to see where Slughorn was pointing and then walked towards James whilst unrolling his piece of parchment. He opened his mouth, and in the most dreadful sing-song voice, belted out:

_“Your curls are lovely_

_and so is your FACE,_

_would you go to the dance with me?_

_Please, say YES!”_

Then he cleared his throat, “Signed, Janeeva Moosely.” He finished by pulling back the string to his tiny bow and shooting the arrow into the air, where it exploded into a brilliant display of mini pink and red fireworks.

Everyone sat in silence for a moment, that is, until Snape, _of all people_ , started snickering loudly, and then the rest of the class joined in.

James and Sirius, however, did _not._

“What in the _bloody hell_ was THAT?” Sirius hissed. “And _who_ is _Janeeva_ _Moosely_?!”

James just sat there, beet-red and speechless.

“Well, well my boy!” Slughorn exclaimed, “Aren’t you the _popular_ one with the ladies! I doubt that will be your _only_ Valentine today! Not with _those_ dimples!”

Sirius was just about to fly over his desk and slap Slughorn’s cheeks rosier than they’d ever been, when James gripped his thigh under the desk and held him back. “Calm down…” he muttered.

“I swear to god, James…”

“Well done today, everyone! Well done! Enjoy the rest of your Valentine’s Day!” Slughorn said giddily.

They started hastily packing up their things when Snape stopped in front of their desk. “Here,” he said, holding out the love potion bottle an inch from James’ maroon face, “I think you need this more than I do.” He waggled the bottle slightly, an intolerable, smug smile hanging from his thin lips.

_Oh my god—I’ll fucking kill him!_

Sirius coiled, ready to attack.

James snatched the bottle from Snape’s fingers and glared at him, “I’ll put it to good use,” he said through gritted teeth.

And then the couple left the room snickering whilst James just stared at the bottle in his hand, the pink liquid swirling around inside.

“What a greasy, foul, _intolerable_ , hooked-nose, hideous, black-eyed, GIT he is!” Sirius hissed like a tea pot whistling.

James just shook his head. “Well, this stuff might actually be good,” he muttered. “Maybe I can give it to this _Moosely_ girl and she’ll leave me alone…”

“Doubtful…It will probably just _increase_ her feelings for you.”

“Fabulous…I don’t even know who in the hell she is…”

“Not surprising…More than half the girls in this school want you,” Sirius quipped, slinging his bag testily over his shoulder.

“Um, no, they want _you,_ too, babe…You just never pay any attention.”

“Well, you’ve got _three_ Valentines, and so far I’ve only got the _one_ …And it was intolerable.”

“So far…” James said smirking.

***

~S~

  
  
And James was right.

Throughout the rest of the day Sirius received two painful singing Valentines from disgruntled dwarves, as well as a handful of cards, chocolates, and ridiculous trinkets from various girls that he didn’t even know existed.

But the cherry on top was the _house elf_ , dressed as a pathetic cupid who screeched out a rhyme that nearly made him keel over dead.

It happened during their Transfiguration lesson.

_“Sirius Black is so FUN_

_he’s like a giant_

_swig of RUM_

_but nothing compares_

_to his BUM_

_it’s so perky_

_it makes me DUMB!”_

James laughed so hard he fell off his stool.

And Sirius feared he’d never be able to show his face again...or his _arse_.

  
~~~

  
“Okay, this is too much,” Sirius finally huffed to James as they headed down to the locker rooms for Quidditch practice, both of their bags heavily weighed down by all the Valentine’s and gifts they’d been receiving.

“I don’t know why you ever doubted your appeal,” James said with a smirk. “I guess I have good taste.”

“Hmph.”

“What? You doubt me?”

“You’re just being nice because I’m your _boyfriend_ …”

“Um, _no_. Clearly, you have no idea how fucking _gorgeous_ you are…Look, if you’re piercing blue eyes, perfect nose, high cheekbones, sexy long hair, and irresistible lips weren’t enough—you have a fucking perfect ARSE!”

“Shhh!” Sirius hissed going as red as a tomato and looking around frantically, thankful no one was near enough to hear him.

“Well, it’s _true_!”

“You’re as bad as that damn house elf! I swear to god. Screeching away about my bum! And who in the hell hires a _house elf_ instead of a _dwarf_ , anyway? Clearly, they didn’t think I was worth the effort…”

James started snickering quietly and then louder and louder until he burst out laughing, clutching at his sides like he was about to pass out.

“What _are_ you on about?” Sirius snapped, stopping to look at him.

“It…was…ME!” James blurted out between heavy breaths.

“WHAT!? You sent that creature to me?!”

“YES!” James said clutching his stomach and doubling over again.

“What?! WHY? You arsehole! You dickweasle! I’m gonna _kill_ you!”

James took off running towards the locker rooms with Sirius hot on his tail, flailing his hands in the air as he went.

“Don’t kill me!” James screeched as he jumped over a bench in the locker room, throwing his bag on the floor. There was a loud popping sound and a giant puff of pink smoke and confetti blew out the sides of it.

“Bloody hell!” he hissed, still gasping for air. “Must have been from one of those cards I didn’t open.”

Sirius stood there panting with his hands on his hips. “I can’t _believe_ you sent me that damn house elf…singing about my BUM…in front of the entire class!”

“And that wasn’t _all_ I sent you,” James said with a mischievous grin.

“What?!”

“I sent you the card at breakfast this morning, too!”

Sirius lunged towards him and pushed him up against a locker, gripping onto his shoulders.

“I just wanted you to know I _cared_!” James yelped, his eyes going wide.

“But why did you send such _ridiculous_ ones?”

“Because I ordered them from a catalog I found on Peter’s bed! Apparently it wasn’t legit…”

Sirius started to grin, still holding him against the locker.

“What?”

“I used that _same_ bloody catalog…”

“Huh?”

“Your Valentine at breakfast…it was from _me_ ,” he said looking down, his face flushing.

“Are you _serious_?”

“Yeah, but I had _no idea_ it would say that…I just said I wanted it to say something ‘sweet’…and I _definitely_ didn’t say I wanted it to spray a pound of glitter in your face!”

James started laughing and gripped onto his hips, tugging him closer. “Yeah, well I didn’t say I wanted a cup of confetti dumped on your head either…”

“Truce?”

“Truce,” James said. “No more ordering from Peter’s wretched catalog.”

***  
  
~J~  
  


And then Sirius pushed up on his tip-toes and strained for his lips, pressing his palms against his chest.

James’ heart beat faster as he beamed down at him. “Happy Valentine’s Day, babe,” he sighed.

“The day’s not over yet, love,” Sirius said with a wicked smirk, moving in closer.

James just raised his eyebrows and grinned, leaning down to claim that mouth. He kissed him hard, feeling his body catch fire and incinerate the second their lips touched. Sirius leaned his weight against him and kissed him slowly, his tongue making him weaker with each deliberate stroke. James groaned and pulled him snugly between his legs and up into his groin, clutching onto his perfect bum with both hands as he did.

_I don’t think the day can get much better than this…_

***

~S~

Sirius had a surprise up his sleeve.

The bat had already made it painfully clear that they couldn’t have access to the _Room_ that night, so instead, he decided that he and James would sneak into the ballroom around midnight.

“Where are we going?” James hissed from under the Cloak.

“You’ll see!” Sirius whispered, looking at the map whilst also holding his wand up for illumination. All the professors were currently in their respective quarters and Filch was roaming the Great Hall with his evil cat, Mrs. Norris. The coast was clear.

When they arrived at the ballroom he carefully pushed open the door, cringing as it made a loud creaking sound.

“Oh, wow!” James breathed as they walked into the room. “This is brilliant!”

“You like it?” Sirius asked. “Really?”

James slid the Cloak off of them and turned in a circle.

The room was already decorated for the Valentine’s dance: sparkling red and gold hearts hung from the giant chandelier and the walls were draped with pink garlands and blooming roses.

“Yeah, this is amazing…”

“Well, I figured we could have our own _private_ dance here,” Sirius said biting his lip, suddenly feeling his stomach do a summersault.

_Maybe he’ll think this was a daft idea..._

And then James turned towards him, his mouth falling open slightly.

Sirius wiped his sweaty palms down the sides of his jeans and swallowed hard. “I’m not a great dancer though…as you know.”

James walked towards him slowly and then reached out his hand and tipped his chin up with his long finger, “Baby…”

Sirius’ breath caught.

_Okay, maybe this was a brilliant idea…_

He took a step forward, hesitantly, and James reached out and gripped onto his waist with one hand, pulling him forward and snugly against his body.

_Sweet mother of Merlin…_

“You never told me about that _fantasy_ you had,” James leaned down and whispered by his ear, his deep voice going straight to his groin.

Sirius swallowed hard. “Oh…well, it involved you and me…in here and… _dancing_.”

“And?”

“And…” he breathed, “you were in a whitesilksuit…andIimpressedyouwithmydanceskills…No big deal,” he rushed, feeling his cheeks positively _burn_.

_God, what a mortifying fantasy…_

James chuckled deeply by his ear, the sound making his hair stand on end and his heart beat faster.

“I see.”

He took his hand and pulled him into himself even closer, leaving absolutely zero space between them. “Well, I don’t have a white silk suit…Though, I will definitely keep that in mind for the _future_ …but I _can_ however teach you to dance.”

Sirius pulled back slightly and stared in his eyes. “With my two left feet?”

“I’ll take care of it,” James said resolutely, starting to smile.

And Sirius melted a little, still having a hard time believing that he was in fact, in the arms of James Potter…in the ballroom…for _real_.

“Oh, wait,” he said, taking his wand out of his back pocket, “…we need some music…” And with a swish of his hand a soft, classical tune filled the air. “Just a little something I’ve been practicing,” he said sheepishly, feeling ridiculously shy all of the sudden.

_Get ahold of yourself!_

He shoved his wand back in his pocket and James took his hand and hugged him against his body again, still unnervingly silent.

Sirius bit his lip and glanced up at him.

_What is he thinking?!_

And then they started moving, slowly at first, and then with more rhythm as James danced them around the room in a waltz, holding him tight and chewing on his bottom lip in concentration.

Sirius swallowed hard and clung onto him, trying his best not to get tangled in his feet. But it was hard to concentrate on anything. Just the _smell_ of James was enough to make him completely lose his head. “Hey,” he croaked. _Shit._ He cleared his throat and tried again. “You never told me what _your_ fantasy was…”

James flinched slightly and nearly stopped dancing all together, but then continued on.

“Oh, um…well…”

“C’mon, love. You made me share mine…”

“Well, it involves you…and me…and we _start off_ dancing…and end up _naked_ ,” he said in a strained voice. “ _Very_ naked.”

“Oh.”

“Yeah, and um, we sort of…doit…righthere….in the middle of the floor…on the star, actually…under the chandelier.”

“Wait. Do _it_?”

“Well, you know… _it_.”

Sirius’ eyes grew wide and his breathing became shallow. Sweat started forming on the back of his neck.

“Oh.”

“Yeah.”

They continued dancing, the silence palpable.

Sirius’ eyes fixed to the middle of the room and held there. He stared at the six pointed star carved into the very center of the floor, its golden rays shooting off in all directions.

_Do it?_

_Right there?_

_Jesus Christ._

“Okay, so I just want you to glide along with me…keeping the same rhythm we have been. Don’t _think_ , just _glide_ ,” James said, interrupting his thoughts.

Sirius took a deep breath and stared in his eyes.

_Are we just gonna pretend like he didn’t just say THAT?!_

_Holy shit._

“Okay…”

“Now, I’ve got you, I’m leading, all you have to do is grip my shoulder and keep moving…”

Sirius nodded.

And before he knew it he was gliding around the room effortlessly. He didn’t know how James did it, but it was like magic. For the first time, his feet weren’t getting tangled and his movements were fluid. Maybe it was because he was concentrating more on James than he was on his own body. Or maybe it was because he couldn’t quit thinking about what James had just said…

_He wants to DO IT?!_

_Oh god._

“You’re doing it, babe! See, it’s not so hard…you just have to let go and _flow_ ….”

Sirius couldn’t help but beam up at him, even despite his racing mind. James sure knew how to drop a bomb and then move on.

_What now?!_

Eventually, the music faded and they were dancing in the silence.

“Guess the charm wore off,” Sirius said quietly, feeling ridiculously nervous again.

James just stared down at him and swallowed hard, his Adam’s apple bobbing. “That’s okay,” he whispered, “because I’d really just rather kiss you.”

_Okay…_

Sirius slid his hand down from his shoulder and clutched a handful of his jumper, peering up at him as his heart pounded against his ribs. James started leaning down, his half-lidded eyes focused on his mouth, and then Sirius felt his lips, soft and warm and wonderful, moving against his own and turning his insides to liquid.

Everything became very hazy.

“I’m so glad we did this,” James whispered against his mouth, wrapping his arms fully around his back and pulling him close.

“Me, too,” Sirius breathed, feeling positively dizzy. “This is the best Valentine’s Day I’ve ever had…”

“We still have the dance tomorrow,” James murmured, nipping at his bottom lip. “And the surprises aren’t over yet…”

Sirius dug his fingers into his back and kissed him again, not even close to getting his fill. “Well you bloody well not send me any more _mail_ ,” he hissed, pulling back.

James chuckled and brushed a piece of hair out of his face, gently tucking it behind his ear and trailing his fingertips along his jaw. “Cross my heart,” he said. “No more singing telegrams…or hippogriff shaped chocolates…or useless trinkets…or—“

“What?! You arse! _You_ sent me all that rubbish?!”

A rumble of a laugh came out of James’ mouth, echoing around the room. “Yes…it was our _first_ Valentine’s Day after all…And I wanted to go all-out.”

Sirius just shook his head in disbelief. “Well, you certainly did.”

James chuckled. “And I suppose you’re Janeeva Moosely, aren’t you?”

“God, no! Never heard of her.”

“Brilliant,” James muttered, going for his mouth again.

But Sirius stopped him by pressing his finger into his lips.

“Erm…about what you said earlier…about your _fantasy_ …um, shouldn’t we maybe talk about that?”

James stiffened. “Oh…well…what’s there to talk about?”

“ _Doing_ it.”

“Right.”

James licked his lips and averted his eyes.

_God, why is he getting nervous all the sudden?!_

“I thought we _had_ talked about it…”

“Well, yeah…but that was months ago…I thought maybe, you know…we might want to re-evaluate.”

“Right.”

“Is that all you can say?” Sirius huffed, feeling like he was really putting himself out there.

“No, it’s not _all_ I can say…I just…I…” James scrunched up his face, “of course I wanna fuck you! Why wouldn’t I?!” he half-yelled, his words echoing around the room.

Sirius’ eyes widened to capacity.

_Well, you can’t get much clearer than that…_

He was at a complete loss for words.

“But I don’t know what to do about it…and _god_ , it’s just so _frustrating_ …and I wasn’t sure how you still felt…and we need the goddamn Room…and…”

James was rambling but Sirius wasn’t even listening anymore. His heart was beating in his ears.

_Okay…He’s put a lot of thought into this…He still wants to do it…he wasn’t sure if I still wanted to…Merlin…Is this real life?_

“I wanna fuck you, too!” he blurted out, suddenly feeling as if he’d just left his body.

_Did I just say that OUT LOUD?!_

James stopped mid-ramble and stared at him. “Like, for real?”

Sirius huffed and nearly rolled his eyes in exasperation. “Yes, like _for_ _real_. Goddamn it, James!”

“What?”

“How _long_ have you been thinking this?”

“I dunno…since forever.”

“Okay so what are we waiting for then?”

He couldn’t believe he was being so bold.

“Erm…all the things I just said…I guess.”

“Well, I’m ready when you are and if it’s the Room you’re waiting on…well, we’ll have that again soon enough…”

James chewed on his bottom lip and stared off in a daze. “Yeah…then I guess there is no hold up…”

Silence.

“Now _you’re_ barely speaking! Say something!” James snapped.

“I just did!” Sirius hissed, suddenly feeling very hot, like his insides were broiling.

_Wait._

_What did we just agree to?!_

“Okay, so then we agree we’ll _do it_ the first chance we get…” James said matter-of-factly, dropping his hands from Sirius’ sides and anxiously raking them back through his hair, looking peaky.

_Dear god, he looks sick. Why does he look SICK?!_

“Okay, sounds good,” Sirius breathed, still not fully in his body.

James sighed and stepped towards him. “But for tonight…” he said, clutching onto his hips and gently bumping their bodies together as he pulled him close.

“For tonight…” Sirius repeated, sliding his clammy hands up James’ chest and entwining them around his neck, trying his damnedest to shut his brain off—which was rather hard to do considering _sex_ was now most definitely in his foreseeable future.

“I want your mouth,” James said just above a whisper, clasping his chin between his strong fingers and tilting his face back.

Sirius automatically closed his eyes and strained towards him; his whole body catching fire and his heart beating faster.

_And I’m more than happy to give it to you..._

***

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ❤️🔥🍫💌🔥❤️
> 
> It seems these two are always snogging at the end of every chapter!😂💋💋💋


	35. Ace of Hearts

***

~J~

James rolled to his back and blinked his eyes open. He could just see the sunlight creeping through the cracks of his drawn curtains, telling him it was morning.

He stared up at the familiar maroon canopy and smiled.

His romantic night in the ballroom with Sirius had unfortunately been cut short, all thanks to Filch and his sidekick, Mrs. Norris—a devious tabby cat that could sniff out mischief a mile away. They’d spent more of their youth avoiding her little moving paw prints on their map than they did anyone else in the entire bloody castle. She was ruthless.

Thankfully, he and Sirius had slipped out of the ballroom under the Cloak just before Filch and Mrs. Norris had turned the corner, and then they high-tailed it back to their dorm.

So much for giving Sirius the _best Valentines’ Day blow-job of his life_ …

But there would still be time…

They had the dance to focus on now…

And spending the day in Hogsmeade.

But despite all that…there was really only one thing on James’ mind…

The conversation they’d had about sex.

Which had somehow ended with both of them agreeing they would _do it_ the first chance they got.

His heart started pounding just thinking about it.

It was so nerve-wracking…Mainly because he wanted everything to be _perfect_ …A seemingly daunting task when one, their privacy had to be scheduled according to the bat’s sexual whims, and two—and maybe most _importantly_ —he had no bloody clue _how_ to _do it_ …seeing as how he’d never done _it_ before…

Sure, he understood the mechanics of it...

But knowing how something works versus actually _doing it_ were two very different things…One was theoretical and the other was…well… _real_.

He sighed and swiped his hair back from his face, trying to imagine how it all would work…

Would they do it on the bed?

Or maybe standing up?

Would he be the _top_ or the _bottom_?

Would they make a lot of noise?

Would it hurt?

Would they have any regrets?

And what if the first attempt was a complete disaster and Sirius never wanted to try again?!

_God._

He was starting to sweat.

“Love?” a voice came.

He flinched and swiped the sweat off his forehead with his fingertips. “Come in,” he whispered back.

Sirius poked his head through the curtains and his heart sped up.

“Morning,” Sirius said with a sexy smirk before hopping up on the bed and crawling towards him like some kind of animal.

_Oh wow…_

“Morning,” he croaked back, sounding more like a bullfrog and less like anything even remotely sexy.

_Just shoot me._

Sirius chuckled and crawled up his body until he was sitting on his stomach in a straddle. His black hair was perfectly messy and his face soft and James suddenly felt even hotter; like a simmering furnace underneath all his blankets.

A just-woken-up-Sirius was a thing to behold and _not_ something to be taken lightly. 

“What?” Sirius asked, cocking a black brow.

James swallowed hard and slid his hands up his thighs, over his silky striped pajama bottoms and up to his hips which he squeezed, feeling the gesture more in his own dick than anywhere else.

“Just you.”

“What about me?” Sirius asked seductively, sliding his long, pale fingers through his hair and swiping it back slowly, _expertly_ , with closed eyes.

And James just watched him in awe, his heart pounding.

_Oh my god..._

He also watched in rapture as Sirius’ pajama top slid right up his stomach, revealing his hip bones and the smooth, pale skin of his lower belly.

He licked his lips.

It was simply too much.

“You little shit,” he hissed, reaching up and grabbing a handful of his shirt, yanking him down hard.

Sirius laughed and lay on top of him, pressing his hands into his shoulders and his pelvis into his groin, “You wanna play rough, huh?” he asked before deliberately rubbing himself against him, sending a shockwave of pleasure through James’ body.

_Bloody hell, babe…_

And he didn’t stop.

James groaned and closed his eyes, sliding his hands up under his pajama top and feeling warm, bare skin; he drug his fingers greedily down his taut back, likely leaving red marks.

Sirius leaned down and swiftly found his mouth, prying it open with a fervor and sucking at his tongue.

And suddenly James’ fears about having sex went right out the window. If they could do _this_ …and before they’d even had breakfast, then surely they could handle a _little_ sex.

Sirius squeezed his shoulders with both hands and rubbed against him again, hard and deliberate.

_Fuck!_

He couldn’t take it any longer.

James slipped his hand right down the font of Sirius’ pants, going straight for the gold. Sirius’ dick was hard and throbbing and primed for the taking. He swiped his thumb over the tip, feeling his pre-cum, and tugged upwards, still kissing his mouth.

Sirius stiffened and shuddered slightly on top of him. “God,” he groaned, leaning down, his mouth right by his ear. “Don’t stop… _please_ …”

And James nearly shot through the atmosphere.

_Jesus-fucking-Christ-mother-of-Merlin-and-all-things-bloody-merciful…_

If Sirius only knew how his words…his _requests_ …his unguarded, flippant utterances, absolutely sent him over the edge…

One word…one inflection…one _needy_ tone…and he was toast.

If Sirius wanted it, he would give it.

Fucking gladly.

With every beat of his heart.

All he had to do was ask.

And so he didn’t stop.

Never wanted to.

He pumped him until his hand was slick and wet and his pajama top was soaked and Sirius was draped on top of him, utterly empty and breathing sweet curses in his ear.

~~~

  
  
“Babe?”

“Hmm?”

“We probably should go down for breakfast…I mean, if you _want_ to…”

“Mmm, yeah I am kinda hungry.”

James lay on his side and watched him.

Sirius’ eyes were closed and his breathing slow and steady and he was by far the most beautiful thing he’d ever seen. James trailed his fingertips along his sharp jaw and sighed wistfully. “And then we can go to Hogsmeade…and then Puddifoot’s…” 

Sirius stiffened and fluttered his eyes open. “Oh, love…” he breathed, slightly grimacing. “Are you serious? I mean, how can we?”

James frowned. “What do you mean? We just walk right in and get a table...”

“Yeah, and be the only _same-sex_ couple there…”

James’ heart dropped. “Well I just thought we could have a Valentine’s lunch like all the other couples...”

Sirius turned towards him and rested his hand lightly on his pec, rubbing his thumb back and forth whilst searching his face.

“ _Please_ , babe? I really had my heart set on it,” James whined.

“Oh alright,” Sirius huffed, the corner of his mouth quirking up slightly. “I’ll do it for _you_. But you better have a good excuse as to why we’re there _together_ …just in case anyone asks.”

James lit up and started to grin. “Okay,” he breathed, going straight for his mouth again.

***

~J~

By the time they got down for breakfast everyone was nearly gone, including Peter and Remus who had already left for Hogsmeade.

And James had to admit, he much preferred eating with just Sirius. He didn’t have to endure Peter’s annoying, suspicious stares or constantly worry about what he said and where he put his hands.

This was as close to eating breakfast at home together as they could get.

“More pumpkin juice, love?” Sirius asked holding up a pitcher.

James started grinning broadly, a thrill going up his spine.

“What?”

“Nothing.”

Sirius just shook his head.

And James just stared at him dreamily, nearly setting his elbow down in his porridge bowl.

_God, he’s beautiful!_

Sirius eyed him suspiciously, a grin playing at the corners of his mouth. “I think you’re high on _Valentine’s Day._ You’re acting loopy. Are you _sure_ you didn’t drink any of Slughorn’s _ambrosia_?”

“Your _cum_ is my ambrosia,” James said flatly.

Sirius’ eyes widened to capacity and his cheekbones flushed scarlet. “James! Holy shit. You gotta stop…we’re in _public_ …and I’m gonna get hard again!”

James just smiled and took a huge bite of his cinnamon bun, never taking his eyes off him.

Sirius squirmed in his seat, obviously trying not to look at him, but unable to hold out for long— _God_ , how he loved to watch him squirm!

“I love you,” James whispered, leaning forward, his mouth still full and his lips covered in icing.

Sirius’ eyes shot up and then darted around the room. “James!”

“Wha’?” he said with a mouthful, trying not to laugh.

“We’re in public!”

“So?”

“So, I’m gonna _bust a nut_ if you keep talking like that!”

James swallowed, his green eyes dancing. “Tha’s wha’ makes it so fun!”

“Making me nearly explode in my pants at the breakfast table?” Sirius hissed, wild-eyed.

Sirius’ face was beet-red and all scrunched up, and his right eye had a slight twitch to it, and James could barely contain his laughter.

“Maybe.”

“You tosser.”

“I jus’ like being able to be more free…Wha’ if it could be like this all the time, ya know?” he said shoving another gooey bite in his mouth and then sucking the pad of his thumb.

“Then I’d _always_ be hard.”

“And I could go down on you any time I wanted…” he said matter-of-factly, dabbing the corner of his mouth with a napkin.

And the look on Sirius’ face was priceless.

***

~J~

“Do you see anyone we know?” Sirius asked as they stood in front of the window to Madam Puddifoot’s Tearoom.

“It’s hard to tell…there’s so much _Valentine crap_ covering the windows…” James said.

“Here, let me see,” Sirius huffed, shoving him to the side and standing on his tip-toes to peer through the window.

And James nearly barked out a laugh at the sight of him. Sirius could barely see over the sill and it made him downright giddy. He prayed he wouldn’t have a massive growth spurt and somehow surpass his height; he really enjoyed being the _tall_ one.

“Bugger.”

“What?” he asked, shoving his hands in his pockets and shivering.

“Lily and Snape.”

“What? The bat?! In _there_?”

“Yep.”

“Great, just great,” he said through chattering teeth. “Well, we don’t have to go in if you don’t want to.”

Sirius turned towards him, his eyes widening. “Do you think I’m _not_ gonna do what I want because of that _greasy bat_? And besides, you’re bloody freezing out here and need to get warm! Where are your fucking gloves, anyway?”

“I forgot ‘em.”

Sirius huffed like an exasperated mother hen. “C’mon,” he said, clutching onto his bicep and pulling him towards the door.

When they walked inside the very first thing they were hit with was the overly-sweet, cloying scent of old-lady perfume; like an ancient dose of rose potpourri and vanilla...positively _gag-inducing_. The dim, colored lights were casting a pink glow and each white linen table cloth was covered in tea lights and pastel rose petals, whilst pink and red paper hearts were draped over every window, and about a million tiny twinkle lights were strung from the ceiling.

It was like Valentine’s Day on crack.

“Can I help you, dears?” a plump, blue-eyed woman with rosy cheeks and a kind smile asked. She had a messy bun of frizzy red hair piled high atop her head and a wand sticking right through it, holding it in place.

“Oh, um…” James fumbled, turning to look at Sirius.

“Oh, well we’re supposed to be meeting our _dates_ …” Sirius said, quickly covering for them. “So would it be alright if we went ahead and got a table? Maybe that one in the corner?” he said pointing.

“Of course! Follow me and I’ll get you all set up!” the woman said. “My, what lucky ladies they must be! You two are the _finest_ looking lads I’ve seen in here all day…maybe _ever_!” she said with a hearty chuckle.

“Thanks,” they both replied weakly.

They walked right past Lily and Snape and James was instantly relieved that the bat’s back was to them, thinking that maybe they could get away unnoticed...

Until Lily looked up at him and smiled in surprise, her eyes widening considerably when she noticed Sirius by his side.

_Shit._

“And here are the menus, loves,” the waitress said, handing each of them an enormous pink, heart-shaped menu with a red ribbon laced through the top and tied in a bow. 

“Brilliant,” Sirius muttered, a slight scowl on his face. “And we might go ahead and order something…whilst we’re waiting for our _dates,_ of course.”

“Perfect! I’ll be back in a bit to take your order!” she said.

***

~S~

James looked to him and winked. “Smart thinking.”

Sirius huffed, scooting away a pile of rose petals on the table with disdain. “So much for _you_ thinking of a good excuse.”

“Oooh, let’s get the Ace of Hearts Hot Chocolate!” James said excitedly, completely ignoring him and holding the giant heart menu in front of his face.

“Don’t kids share that? You know…with _two_ straws?”

“Yeah, so?”

“So…we’re supposed to be sharing it with our _dates,_ you wanker…” Sirius hissed, flicking his eyes up to look at him.

_Jesus!_

James was wearing his glasses.

He wasn’t expecting that.

Sirius blinked rapidly, trying to get ahold of himself.

James sat his menu down and leaned back in his chair, resting his elbows on the arms of it. “We’ll just say they stood us up, okay? And then we can eat everything off the menu and pretend we’re nursing our wounded egos.” He steepled his fingers together conspiratorially and smirked.

“If you say so,” Sirius replied, shaking his head and trying not to gawk at him.

“Look, everyone in here is so _loved up_ they aren’t even paying attention to us…”

Sirius observed the room.

Everyone looked sloshed…like they’d drunk an entire _cauldron_ of Slughorn’s ambrosia. Even Lily and Snape. 

He scowled.

“True,” he muttered.

“So, what time should we get ready for the dance tonight?” James asked. 

“Hmm, well, it starts at seven o’clock…so maybe at like six? Why? Are you doing something _special_?” he asked, narrowing his eyes over the top of his menu.

_He’s still wearing the fucking glasses!_

“Maybe,” James replied with a huge grin. “Wouldn’t _you_ like to know.”

“I would, in fact.”

“Well, I’m not tellin’! You’ll just have to wait and see.”

Sirius set his menu down and leaned towards him, “If you get me as horny as you did on Christmas Eve, I’ll kill you.”

James barked out a laugh and then quickly covered his mouth with a large hand. “I can’t make any promises,” he said in a low voice, grinning like a ghoul.

“Shit. You’re gonna kill me…in front of half the bloody school.”

“Maybe you should wear a robe or something…you know, to cover _it_.”

Sirius stared at him incredulously for a beat and then shook his head from side to side. “Honestly.”

James just pulled his glasses down his nose for a second and then pushed them back up again with the tip of his forefinger, clearly knowing _exactly_ what he was doing.

_I swear to god, James…_

“Ready to order, dears?” the waitress asked, appearing back at their table.

“Oh, yes…we’re going to try the Ace of Hearts Hot Chocolate,” Sirius said, catching James’ eye and trying not to laugh.

“Will that be one or two?”

“One,” he croaked out. “We want to make sure our _dates_ will approve…”

She narrowed her eyes between them and Sirius immediately held his breath and refrained from blinking, as if that would somehow make him look less suspicious.

“I sure hope the two of you haven’t been stood up,” she said with a frown. “Anyone would have to be mental to let the likes of you two slip away!”

Sirius tried to smile but it came out more like a scowl, and James just bit his lip and averted his eyes.

“I’ll be back with your drink!”

“Do you think she’s convinced?” James hissed, leaning forward.

“I think so. She’s not the sharpest tool in the shed,” Sirius replied, setting his elbows on the table and resting his chin in his hands, already feeling nauseous from the strong, perfumey smell of the room—how it was supposed to get people in the _mood_ was beyond him…more like put you to sleep because you couldn’t bear to breathe it.

“Is this your first time in here?” James asked, leaning back in his chair again and resting his hands on his thighs.

“Mmm, no. I came here in third year with some girl…and fourth, I think, too.”

“Oh.”

James’ face fell.

“I thought you knew?”

“Well, maybe I did, but I didn’t care as much back then...”

“Jealous now?” Sirius asked cocking a brow.

“Maybe.”

“Well, don’t be, because it was _terrible_. I honestly don’t even remember who I came with…But whoever it was, I can promise I was wishing I was with _you_ the entire time.”

James grinned largely and blushed, his dimples showing. “Well, this is _my_ first time. I always swore I’d only come with Lily…and that never happened so…”

Sirius pursed his lips and glanced over at Snape and Lily’s table. They seemed to be having a good time. Lily was laughing about something and tossing her thick, glossy hair back like some kind of red-headed stallion.

_Christ._

He sighed and looked back to James. “You don’t still wish…I mean…you’re _sure_ there’s nothing there?”

James pursed his lips and cocked his head to the side, an exasperated look crossing his face. “ _No_ , you git. Of _course_ not. I was a delusional tosspot, barking up the wrong tree…when my dream-come-true was right in front of me.” And then he chuckled. “Hey, I made a rhyme!”

Sirius snorted and bit his lip. “You are _such_ a sop.”

“So are _you_ ,” James said, crossing his arms over his chest and grinning.

Sirius pursed his lips and stared at him, admiring how painfully handsome he looked in his fitted blue jeans and plush maroon jumper with a white collared shirt underneath. So effortlessly posh…as always. 

“Here you go, loves!” the waitress said, setting down a ginormous, porcelain red tea cup in between them; the whipped cream piled almost a foot high with chocolate drizzle sliding down the sides and pastel candy hearts sprinkling the top. It was completed with a pink and white striped paper straw sticking out of each side.

“Whoa!” James exclaimed, his eyes as wide as his mouth.

Sirius just gaped at it.

“Enjoy!” the waitress said with a grin before bustling off.

“We’ve been missing out!” James breathed, scooting closer and practically drooling on the tablecloth.

“Tell me about it.”

He watched as James leaned forward and wrapped his lips around the straw, devilishly flicking his still-bespectacled eyes up to look at him.

_Really?!_

And Sirius just stared at him with his mouth hanging open, suddenly feeling those same lips wrapped around his dick.

He gulped and averted his eyes, leaning forward to take a drink.

It _was_ good.

 _Damn_ _good._

“Bloody hell!” James exclaimed, leaning back again. “That’s _almost_ the best thing I’ve ever put in my mouth!”

Sirius smirked at him knowingly and shook his head. “Same here.”

James’ face immediately flushed and then he swallowed hard and looked down shyly, like some kind of embarrassed god, and suddenly Sirius felt like lunging over the table for him, pinning him to the floor...

And then confetti started raining down from above.

They both looked up to see a half-naked cherub hovering above their table, gleefully sprinkling confetti from a red velvet bag he wore around his plump waist.

And unfortunately, James was getting the brunt of it. He squinted his eyes shut and started spitting out the confetti that had fallen into his open, gaping mouth.

“Thanks chap, but we’re good here!” Sirius said irritably, peering up with half-closed eyes as pink and red paper bits continued to rain down on his head.

The little cherub scowled indignantly and then pulled a tiny arrow out of his bag, placed it in his miniature bow, and shot him square in the forehead.

“What the—“ he started to say, but then suddenly felt overcome with a strange, giddy feeling. He started to chuckle, feeling inexplicably warm and delightfully happy.

The little cherub grinned wickedly and then flew off to another table.

***

~J~

“What was _that_?” James asked, staring at Sirius incredulously, the tiny, red-tipped arrow still glued to the center of his forehead.

“Dunno,” Sirius replied with a lazy grin. “But I don’t hate it…” He swayed slightly in his chair and then plucked the arrow off with a “pop” and gave James a drunken smile.

“Bloody hell, what’s in this thing?” James asked, picking the arrow up off the table and taking a whiff of it. “Ambrosia…” he said with wide eyes. “Merlin.”

“Hmm?”

“You just got shot in the face with a love potion!” he exclaimed, starting to laugh.

Sirius just gaped at him, looking utterly confused, and then he started to grin and laugh, too, like someone very late to the joke. “Love potion!” he repeated.

“Maybe he got some from Slughorn!”

“Maybe!” Sirius said, pounding a fist on the table with a hearty chuckle.

“I’ve never seen you like this!” James breathed, watching him in awe. He leaned forward and sucked another drink from his straw and then swiped some cream off the top with his finger and stuck it in his mouth.

Sirius just rested his chin in his hands and proceeded to stare at him like some sort of love-sick pixie.

“So much for being discrete,” James said, swiping some more cream off and bopping it on the end of Sirius’ nose.

“Hey!” Sirius yelped, wiping it off and licking his finger.

“I think we need some of this stuff back at the castle,” James said, raising his eyebrows.

“I’d like to cover every part of you in it…and then lick it off…” Sirius said dreamily as he swayed back and forth in his seat.

And James nearly fell out of his chair. “Ahem, yeah, that’s a thought… _a good one_. Like a _chocolate cake_ kind of good one. I’ll ask the house elves if they have some.”

Sirius swirled his straw around the hot chocolate and grinned, continuing to stare at him with near literal hearts in his eyes.

“What are you thinking?” James asked, before taking another drink.

“Mmm, that I can’t wait to be fucked in the arse…”

James snorted hot chocolate out of his nose and promptly fell sideways off his chair.

_Holy shit!_

He quickly scrambled to get back up and started dabbing the table with his napkin. Lily and Snape both turned around to stare at them curiously, as well as several other couples in the room.

He winced, feeling his cheeks burn.

And Sirius just sat there, gazing off into space with a dreamy expression.

“Bloody hell!” James hissed, now wiping down the front of his jumper with a napkin.

“What?”

“Okay, no more cherubs and arrows for you!” he said sternly. “Let’s finish up and get the hell out of here before he comes back.”

“Why?”

“You can’t say things like that!”

“Like what?”

“Like what you just _said_!”

“What’d I just say?” Sirius asked, blinking slowly.

James narrowed his eyes at him and pursed his lips.

It appeared the short-lived potion was wearing off.

“I’ll tell you after we leave! I don’t trust that bloody cherub,” he said, darting his eyes around the room and trying to find him.

Sirius just shrugged his shoulders and sipped more of the hot chocolate.

***

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ❤️☕️🍫😍🧁🎉❤️


	36. Sweat and Starlight

***

~J~

“ _Now_ will you tell me what I said?” Sirius whined as he and James made their way back to the castle, the snow coming down in a thick blanket.

“God no, not here, not now…maybe not _ever_ ,” he muttered, pulling his grey scarf up around his face to hide his burning cheeks.

“What?! You told me you’d tell me! You _have_ to tell me!”

“Okay, okay, I will, but _later_ …”

“Why later? No one can hear us here…”

“Because I wanna really see the look on your face when I tell you…and I can’t see a damn thing with all this blasted snow,” James complained, waving his hand in the air.

“Oh, alright,” Sirius huffed, “but I’ll hold you to it!”

“I don’t doubt it.”

  
~~~

  
“Erm, I need to go to the Owlery to see if Archimedes has a parcel for me...” James said as soon as they’d arrived back at the castle. “Can you head up to the dorm without me?”

“What? Why don’t I just come with you?”

“Well,” he said biting his lip, “because it’s a _surprise_ …”

“Oh, okay,” Sirius said, his face falling.

“I won’t be long—I promise!”

“Okay...but I’ll _miss_ you.”

“I’ll miss you too, baby,” he whispered, leaning down towards him but refraining from kissing him.

Sirius smiled wistfully and squeezed his arm before turning and running up the steps.

And James trotted off towards the Owlery, already missing him but feeling giddy about the package he was expecting.

He found the owl-filled tower busy as usual. The birds were hooting loudly; some were flying in and out and others were huddled together, trying to stay warm.

Archimedes screeched and swooped down towards him with a large brown paper package in his talons.

James held up his arms and caught it. Thanks, “Archie!” he said with a grin. “I’ll let you come in the room if you wanna get warm! Meet you up there!”

Archimedes hooted approvingly and flew out one of the stone windows.

James tucked the parcel under his arm and ran back down the stairs and then went straight to the Prefect’s bathroom and stashed it, deciding it would be the best place to get ready.

When he finally bounded through the portrait hole of the Gryffindor common room he was surprised to find Peter and Remus sitting by the fire.

“Hey,” he said, unbuttoning his coat, still out of breath.

“Hey,” they both replied glumly.

“I didn’t see you two in Hogsmeade…”

“We didn’t stay long,” Remus pouted. “Not much to do unless you have a _Valentine_ …”

“Oh,” James replied, biting his lip.

“Is that confetti all over your jumper?” Peter asked, narrowing his shrewd eyes at him.

“Oh, um…yeah. Sirius and I went to Puddifoot’s, actually. For dessert.”

“What?!” Remus hissed, whipping around to look at him.

“It wasn’t a big deal,” James replied, taken aback by his reaction.

“I thought your relationship was supposed to be _discrete_ …”

James flicked his eyes around the room, making sure they were still the only ones in it, “We _were_ discrete. We said we were meeting _dates_ but then pretended they stood us up.”

Remus sighed and shook his head. “Whatever,” he muttered.

“Moony, don’t be bitter just because you don’t have a date—“

“Oh, but he _does_!” Peter interjected with a sly smile. “Tell him, Remus.”

James cocked a brow.

“ _Matilda Pennyworth_ and I are going together…” Remus said with a sniff.

“Well, what’s so wrong with that?”

“Because he’d rather be going with _Lily_!” Peter spat, laughing wickedly.

James just rolled his eyes and huffed. “Wormtail, get off it. And Moony, at least you _have_ a date,” he said smirking pointedly at Peter. “And at least you can dance together _openly_.”

He then turned around and ran up to their room, not about to let their dour moods spoil his evening. 

When he bounded through the door he found Sirius, standing in front of his trunk, wearing only his tight, white briefs and his oversized, navy blue jumper, looking every bit the star of his past, present, and future wet dreams.  
 _  
Bloody hell..._

James just stared at him, his jaw going slack and his heart rate positively doubling.

Sirius was a feast for the eyes…with his pale, muscular thighs and tight, round bum…he looked far, _far_ , too cuddly in just his jumper.

Sirius looked up at him and narrowed his eyes to slits, then smirked like a devil and put his hands on his hips, popping one leg to the side, “What? Enjoying the view?”

“Yeah,” James breathed, moving towards him slowly, his heart pounding mercilessly, until they were about a foot apart. “I missed you.”

“I missed you too, love,” Sirius said, gazing up at him, his face going soft.

_Too fucking soft._

“Baby,” James breathed, feeling his chest tighten and his cock swell. 

“I know,” Sirius said, closing the distance and rising up on his toes.

James leaned down the rest of the way, feeling his heart explode when he touched his sweet mouth, and then Sirius slipped his warm, wet tongue between his lips, making his knees almost buckle. James pulled him into his body and hugged him tight, kissing him back with a fervor.

“Where’s your package, love?” Sirius murmured.

“Can’t you feel it?” James chuckled, gently thrusting his pelvis against him.

Sirius scoffed and swatted at him, pulling back.

“I stashed it…it’s a _surprise_.”

“And am I gonna get to see this surprise tonight?” Sirius asked, hanging onto his biceps.

“Yes.”

Sirius smirked and raised up on his toes, pecking a chaste kiss to his lips. “Good, I can’t wait.”

“Me either.”

“So should we start getting ready then?”

“Yes…but I’d rather just snog you,” James breathed, holding him close again and burying his nose in the crook of his neck, inhaling deeply.

_Christ, how does he smell so bloody good?!_

“Me too, but let’s save it for _after_ the dance…When we can _really_ be alone.”

“So how are we gonna actually, you know, _dance_?” James asked, leaning back and biting his lip.

“Well, you know they’ll play some fast, modern songs…Everyone will dance to those…”

“And what if girls ask us to dance?”

“We’ll just make an excuse…say we have to go take a piss or something…And we don’t even have to stay long…just make an appearance and then leave.”

“Right, because my main reason for doing this is to see you dressed up.”

Sirius beamed up at him, his hands now laced around his neck. “Same here. There’s nothing hotter than seeing you all gussied up when I can’t have you…except for maybe when you’re totally naked.”

James laughed heartily, “But then we can touch _after_.”

“Exactly. And it will be _extra_ enjoyable.”

“Bloody hell,” he breathed, feeling his body ignite, “I could devour you right _now_ …”

“Good,” Sirius said blushing as he slid his hands down his chest to rest on his hips, “Just keep it in your pants for now, Prongs, and I _promise_ it will be worth your while.”

  
~~~

  
They decided to get ready separately and then meet at the entrance to the ballroom at seven-thirty.

Sirius was getting ready in the Gryffindor loo and James took his stuff down to the Prefect’s bathroom, where he’d left the parcel. He was thankful to be the only one in there (except of course for the stained-glass mermaid, sleeping peacefully on her rock) his nerves were really starting to get to him. He was giddy, excited, and hand-shakingly nervous to see Sirius’ reaction to his surprise.

He picked up the package and started untying the string with a frenzy, ripping off the brown paper and pulling the lid off the box.

He started grinning as soon as he saw what was inside.

White satin…

_Holy shit._

It was a dress suit just like the one Sirius had said he’d always fantasized about him wearing...white satin with gold trim.

James had had it specially made by a wizard tailor who lived in Hogsmeade, and he wasn’t even sure if he’d get it in time, but when you had enough money, and _determination_ , you could really make things happen. He’d sent a letter to the tailor that morning before breakfast, giving him his specific suit dimensions, but was still extremely anxious about the fit. It was his first mail-order suit.

He carefully pulled the jacket out of the box and held it up in front of himself; the white satin material so luxurious under his fingertips he could barely quit touching it. It looked to be about the right size. He pulled out the pants next and they felt amazing, too, as well as the undershirt. And lastly, there was an iridescent, pastel pink cummerbund—his own touch to the ensemble. He’d never worn anything so flashy or flamboyant in his entire life, but he had to admit, it made him really excited. 

He placed everything back in the box and took a quick shower, making sure to give himself a proper wank—Sirius had _strongly_ advised it after all—and then dried off and started combing through his wet hair.

He stood in front of the mirror with a towel wrapped around his waist and his heart beating out of control.

_It’s just like Christmas Eve all over again...Bloody hell._

  
  
***

~S~

Sirius was digging through his trunk in a fury, throwing clothes around the room haphazardly and muttering to himself, on a mission.

Remus was meticulously straightening his black tie in front of the mirror and Peter was sitting on his bed, pretending to read a magazine, but really glowering at the two of them.

“You’re making a damn mess!” Remus whipped around and hissed, his amber eyes going wide.

“Bugger off! I can’t find my damn shoes.”

“They’re under your bed, you _git_ ,” Remus muttered before leaving the room in a huff.

Sirius rolled his eyes and snatched the shoes up.

_Arse._

He was as nervous as he’d been before their first Quidditch match. Maybe even more so. But it was his _feelings_ at stake for godssakes! Not the admiration or loathing of the entire school.

Only _one person’s_ opinion mattered tonight.

He wiped the sweat off his upper lip and raked his hair back with clammy fingers.

The thought of seeing James all dressed up, _and_ with some kind of surprise…whilst they were in _public_ …was literally doing him in.

Christmas Eve nearly gave him a heart attack…and he didn’t know _how_ James could top that...wasn’t sure if he could even handle it...

And then he wondered if he should slick his hair back again and started rummaging in his trunk, looking for Mr. Potter’s special cream.

“You’re going to be _late_ ,” Peter muttered from behind his magazine.

“That’s the plan, Wormy…Only desperate tossers and pathetic losers get there on time.” 

“Well, _Remus_ is.”

“Exactly my point.”

Peter grumbled and turned the page. “I don’t even know why you’re bothering…it’s not like the two of you can even have a proper dance together.”

Sirius blew hot air out of his nose that would give even an Hungarian Horntail a run for his money, his jaw clenching and unclenching and his shoulders tensing.

“We’ll make do,” he growled.

  
***

~J~

  
  
James shivered in a good way when he slid the satin pants up his legs, immediately surprised by how much he liked the _luxurious_ feeling. It felt nearly as good as touching the smooth, glossy handle of his prized broomstick, and that was really saying something.

He buttoned the pants up and then turned around several times in front of the mirror, completely shocked that they actually _fit—_ thank _god_ for wizard tailors! They flared out a little bit at the legs, something he’d normally never go for, but he had to admit, it _worked_. He slid his hands down his bum, cupping it in astonishment; the pants showed off every curve, making his arse look _almost_ as perky as Sirius’. He grinned devilishly then slid on his white satin undershirt and buttoned it up, imagining how it would feel to have Sirius _unbutton_ it...

He tensed and swallowed hard at the visual, having to grab hold of the sink for support. _Keep it in your pants…keep it in your pants…_ had become his new mantra.

He decided to leave his hair like normal; that perfectly messy look that he could just swipe his fingers through and Sirius seemed to love. The suit would be plenty.

He wrapped the pastel pink cummerbund around his waist—it was the first time he’d ever worn one—and then he slid on the satin jacket. It fit perfectly, too.

Finally, he sat on the edge of the giant stone tub and pulled on his white socks and white dress shoes.

The shoes had actually been _black_ originally, but thankfully he knew a spell to change their color; he only worried that at some point during the night the charm would wear off and he’d be caught wearing black shoes with a white suit. Probably a terrible fashion faux pas…not that he was into that sort of thing or anything…At least he didn’t _think_ so.

He stood up and looked at himself in the mirror, grinning widely.

Sirius was going to _die_.

At least he _hoped_ so.

He was literally his fantasy come to life.

He left his things in the bathroom, planning to get them later, and bounded out the door feeling like a million galleons.

Even the people in the portraits all stopped to stare at him, their mouths hanging open in surprise. “Like a young Albus…” he heard one say and thought it rather funny. He couldn’t imagine _Dumbledore_ in a satin suit…but then again, _maybe_.

On his way, he stopped and plucked two red roses from a decorated wall and stuck one in his jacket pocket and held onto the other one for Sirius.

_Bloody hell. Here we go…_

***

~S~  
  


  
Sirius stared at himself in the mirror and frowned.

His hair was just _not_ cooperating.

_Goddamn it!_

He decided to use the tiniest bit of Fleamont’s hair cream but not _nearly_ as much as he’d used on Christmas Eve; he still thought he’d probably looked like a drowned rat that night; it had taken several washes to get it out...but of course, he hadn’t minded terribly because James had been on his knees, sucking his dick for each wash...

He gasped at the remembrance, feeling a shot of heat go straight to his groin.

_I should have wanked in the shower. Shit. Too late now._

He put a dab of cream in his palm and then rubbed his hands together before digging them into his hair. He parted it to the side like always and gave it a little poof on top for added drama. It was so long now it dusted the tops of his shoulders and flipped up on the ends; he’d mentioned trimming it to James, but he’d ferociously disagreed.

Finally, he wiped his hands on a towel and nodded at himself in approval.

_This is as good as it’s gonna get..._

He pulled on his black dress trousers, which fit snugly around his _best asset_ , and then slid his black blazer on over his black button up. Lastly, he pulled his black leather belt around his waist and latched it securely.

The ensemble was complete.

He smiled at his reflection in the mirror.

It was a helluva lot of _black_...

But it was what he felt most comfortable and confident in; maybe his last name was some kind of harbinger for his taste in fashion.

He smirked at the thought, undoing an extra button on his black shirt and pulling the collar open a bit wider, feeling like a rebel.

Finally, he rolled his shoulders several times, swiped his fingers back through his hair, and took a deep inhale.

_Show time._

***

~J~  
  


  
James could _hear_ the music coming out of the ballroom before he even got there.

He turned the corner to see groups of giggling girls crowding into the room.

No one had seen him yet and for that he was _grateful_. He really wanted Sirius to be the first one.

His stomach was twisted in a knot and his palms were ridiculously sweaty, but he wasn’t about to swipe them down his satin pants. It was nerve-wracking enough anticipating Sirius seeing him all dolled-up and in something he never in a million years would have worn, but it also made him anxious to think of _everyone else_ seeing him that way as well. Normally, he would have enjoyed getting loads of attention…but this was different. He was doing it for _Sirius_ and _not_ the entire bloody school.

He wondered if he should wait in the shadows or go ahead and enter the room…

But unfortunately, he didn’t get the chance to decide.

“James, my boy! Is that you! Lurking in the shadows…I do say, what are you about?”

It was Slughorn, sipping on a crystal goblet filled to the brim with a pink, glowing liquid.

_Ambrosia…_

James walked reluctantly out into the light and Slughorn promptly choked on his drink.

“Merlin’s beard! Look at you! My, my, I’ve never seen someone so _stylish_ …” His hazel eyes glittered as he greedily looked him up and down.

James tried to hide his grimace by looking down and fiddling with his hands. “Erm, yeah I just figured I’d go all out…” he mumbled. 

“Like the _star_ that you are!” Slughorn said, whacking him on the shoulder and then slowly sliding his hand down the back of his jacket. “My, my…” he said, his face going serious.

Now James really wanted to bolt.

“I was just heading in,” he finally said, squirming under his touch, and starting to walk towards the entrance.

“Yes, of course! Can’t keep the ladies waiting! I have no doubt your dance card will be full _all night!_ ” Slughorn said with a loud hiccup.

James just nodded, moving quickly away, deathly afraid Slughorn might splatter pink ambrosia all over his white suit—or worse, _touch him again._

He walked into the ballroom with wide eyes, taking it all in.

The massive chandelier was casting rainbows around the room whilst the torchlights flickered on the paper heart-covered walls and the students danced to a slow, melodic waltz.

He noticed Professor McGonagall in the corner, waving her wand whilst muttering, “A-one-two-three, a-one-two-three…” just like she had in practice, her beady eyes surveying the room over her half-moon spectacles, whilst Professor Flitwick stood perched on a stack of books, overseeing the record player.

James kept moving, trying to slink along the outer edge of the room and remain hidden from curious stares, but it was no use. It suddenly felt like every eye in the room was on him.

His heart started to race and his palms felt unbearably sweaty, but once again, he refused to wipe them on his pants, so he went straight to the dessert table and grabbed a napkin, wiping his hands and pretending to be very interested in the array of Valentine sweets filling up the silver platters.

And then the back of his neck started burning, and when he turned around to face the room again, everyone quickly looked away and started whispering.

_Dear god._

He literally wanted to disappear—if he only knew how to apparate!

Where was Sirius?

What was taking so _bloody_ long?

 _This is_ _excruciating_!

The music eventually faded and the crowds parted as they waited for the next song to start up again. Flitwick was clearly having some kind of technical difficulty with the record player, and McGonagall rushed over to help.

And that’s when he saw him.

_Sirius._

Standing in the entranceway.

Wearing all black from head to toe.

His hair expertly swiped back in that effortless, just-fucked way, flipping up at the ends and breaking a million hearts.

His black shirt unbuttoned enough to see his elegant collar bone and pale skin.

His leather belt hugging his slim hips and the silver buckle catching the light.

_Christ._

His dark brows were furrowed and he wore a desperate sort of look on his chiseled face; his eyes darting every which way around the room…searching.

_Oh my god._

James’ heart started pounding out of his chest. He felt as if all the air had been sucked from the room, leaving him utterly stupefied. He couldn’t move, couldn’t think, couldn’t breathe.

If only Sirius would look at him!

_Look at me, damn it!_

But he probably wasn’t looking for someone in a _white satin suit._

Unable to take it any longer, James stepped forward and raked his hand back through his hair.

All eyes turned to look at him.

But there was only _one pair_ that he desired... _craved_ with every beat of his heart.

  
  
***

~S~

Sirius was nearly shaking by the time he’d gotten down to the ballroom.

He’d hoped that James would be waiting for him by the entrance, so that their initial meeting could be less awkward. He’d waited in the shadows for a few minutes, pacing nervously, and then decided to look for him inside.

As soon as he entered the room he could feel the heat of a hundred penetrating stares.

But he didn’t care.

He only wanted _James_ to see him.

Wiping his sweaty palms down the sides of his trousers, he looked around the room, suddenly aware that the music had stopped playing and the crowds had parted. He darted his eyes to the corner and saw Professor McGonagall trying to wrestle a record from tiny Professor Flitwick’s hands.

He licked his lips and kept searching, his eyes starting to glaze over from all the faces.

And then he saw something move and catch the light at the very end of the room.

Everyone turned their heads in that direction and he strained his eyes to see what it was.

And then his heart stopped.

_Holy fucking hell._

  
***

~J~  
  


  
When they made eye contact, James’ world froze. Time stood still and everything else ceased to exist. It was as if an invisible, electric current was running directly between them, pulsating, throbbing, _beckoning_.

It was so strong and _so_ palpable, it probably _was_ visible.

But he didn’t care.

As if pulled, he took a step forward, and suddenly the room was filled with the sound of music once again.

But no one was dancing.

They were gawking...at him and at Sirius.

Professor McGonagall held her wand to her throat and barked, “Dance!” in a stern voice, and the students quickly paired up again and started moving around him, causing him to lose eye contact with Sirius.

He suddenly felt as if he’d been pulled from a dream.

He blinked his eyes and came to, rushing forward and shoving his way through the crowd. It was like the dance lessons all over again. He finally slipped through an opening, breathing hard and darting his eyes every which way.

_Where is he?!_

He rushed out the doors, looking around frantically, thinking maybe he’d just imagined the whole thing. Maybe Sirius was never even standing there to begin with. It all seemed too fairytale-ish anyways. 

Then he heard a sound from the shadows and spun around.

Sirius was standing there, his eyes wide and his mouth half open.

And James moved closer to him, drawn in by the strange, invisible cord.

“Hi,” he said breathlessly.

“Hi,” Sirius replied.

His heart pounded. He licked his lips and flicked his eyes down to Sirius’ mouth, holding for a moment, and then sliding down to his gorgeous, slender throat and exposed collar bone, utterly mesmerized.

“You look…” he started to say.

“Yeah?” Sirius breathed.

“I…have no words…”

”Me neither,” Sirius said, just above a whisper, and _dear god_ the look on his face!

James started to feel warm. _So_ warm. “Well, it’s all for you, baby…” he crooned, taking a step closer.

Sirius’ eyes widened. He darted his tongue out and licked his bottom lip, never blinking.

“Do you wanna touch it?”

“Huh?”

“The suit...” James said with a grin. “I never thought I’d like this sort of thing…but I have to admit, it feels fucking good.”

Sirius swallowed hard, a pained expression crossing his beautiful face. “I think...we need a broom cupboard...like, NOW _.”_

James smirked and grabbed hold of his wrist, tugging him straight towards the nearest one he could find.

“But I don’t wanna get you dirty,” Sirius hissed as James pushed open the wooden door and pulled him inside the cramped space.

“You won’t! And besides, it can be cleaned.”

They stood smooshed together in the cupboard, staring at each other in the pale blue light James was producing with his wand.

“I…” Sirius started to say.

“I want to say something first,” James interjected.

“Yeah?”

“You…look…” he swallowed hard, feeling insanely dizzy again, “fucking gorgeous…”

Sirius blushed and looked down at the ground, “Thanks,” he mumbled.

“Look at me,” James said.

Sirius darted his eyes up, clearly surprised.

“And I’m not sure if I should touch you…” he breathed, his eyes narrowed to his mouth.

Sirius frowned. “Why not?”

“Because if I do…I won’t be able to stop...”

Sirius stared at him for a moment, searching his face, and then he reached his hand up and slowly ran his pointer finger along the fold of his satin jacket.

James’ eyes fluttered shut, nearly losing consciousness. He’d never wanted to be touched so badly in his whole life.

“I agree,” Sirius whispered, leaning towards him.

“Mmm,” James hummed, his eyes still closed and his body positively vibrating.

“So should we go back and save this for after?” Sirius asked.

“Mmm,” he noised again, rocking back on his heels and nearly falling into a pile of old brooms.

Sirius grabbed him by the shoulders and held him steady.

His eyes popped open. “Sorry, I guess I’m just drunk on you,” he chuckled.

Sirius smirked and then pursed his lips. “Believe me, I know the feeling.”

“I think I’m more drunk than _Slughorn_ ,” James half chuckled, staring down at Sirius’ lips and feeling his heart beat faster; he _desperately_ wanted to kiss him.

“Really? Did he drink some of his own love potion?”

James snorted, “He’s walking around with a bloody _goblet_ full of it! He certainly got handsy with me.”

Sirius’ smile quickly faded, only to be replaced with a ferocious scowl. “Excuse me?”

“Well…I mean…erm, he just liked the feel of my suit is all…” James winced, realizing he probably should have kept his big mouth shut.

_Fuck._

Sirius’ lips were now pulled in a tight line and his eyes were engulfed in blue flames. “What?!”

“It was nothing…he was drunk…”

“He _touched_ you? I’ll fucking _kill_ the blaggard!”

James grabbed the tops of his shoulders, pushing him down and holding him still. “No. Please, babe. Just forget it. I wanna focus on _us_ right now,” he said, just an inch from his face, fully holding his attention.

Sirius blew hot air out of his nose and relaxed a bit. “Alright, love. But if he ever gets near you again…I swear to god...” He shook his head.

“I don’t doubt it,” James said with a sly grin, squeezing his shoulders. “Now, let’s go back in there, dance a bit, eat something...make some memories…and then…”

“And then, what?” Sirius breathed, tilting his chin up and leaning towards him, practically _begging_ to be kissed.

_Dear god..._

“And then…I’ll make your fantasy come true.”

Sirius’ eyes widened, an incredulous expression crossing his face.

James savored it and then grabbed his arm and yanked him out of the cupboard, a huge grin on his face. He smoothed his pants down and adjusted himself, thankful that his dick wasn’t fully loaded yet (the pants didn’t leave much room for the imagination) and then he raked his hair back and turned to look at Sirius.

“Ready?”

“Sure,” Sirius breathed, looking dazed.

“Oh, wait!” James yelped, whipping around. “One more thing,” and he pulled the red rosebud out of his pocket and promptly stuck it in Sirius’ breast pocket. ”Now you’re complete.”

“Thanks,” Sirius said, staring up at him with a look of pure amazement.

James just winked and pulled him towards the ballroom.

  
***

~S~  
  


  
They walked into the ballroom and Sirius instantly felt relieved; everyone was too busy dancing to gawk at them.

He noticed Lily and Snape for the first time, and it appeared that the bat _could_ in fact, dance. _Fabulous_. Then he saw Remus, dancing with Matilda Pennyworth, who seemed to be talking his ear off. He chuckled to himself and continued to follow James as they slunk along the outer edge of the room, back towards the dessert table.

“Look at this fountain!” James exclaimed, pointing at a chubby golden cherub suspended in the air, pouring chocolate into a crystal bowl.

Sirius gaped at it, amazed.

And then the cherub opened both of its beady little golden eyes and glared right back at them.

“AHHH!” they both yelped in horror, clutching at each other, and then they both quickly jumped back, by at least a foot, and smoothed out their clothes.

“Bloody hell! It’s _alive_!” James hissed, gaping at it.

The creature pursed its plump lips.

“No wonder he’s _bitter_ …bloody difficult job,” Sirius said, shaking his head. “But don’t get too near it! I don’t want you to get any of that on your suit.”

James grinned and backed away.

The music suddenly changed to something modern and upbeat and everyone cheered and gathered to the center of the dance floor. A disco ball appeared out of thin air and hovered at the center of the room, casting silver sparkles all around.

Professor McGonagall stood to the side with her arms crossed disapprovingly and her thin lips pursed, whilst Professor Flitwick pointed his wand towards the ceiling, gleefully making gold confetti and streamers rain down.

“Shall we?” Sirius asked with a wolffish grin.

“Absolutely,” James beamed.

They shoved their way into the crowd and jumped up and down, chanting the lyrics to the song as confetti rained down, so grateful that Professor Flitwick had good taste in music.

They danced to a few more fast ones, relishing their close proximity and touching as much as possible. Even Remus seemed to be having a better time; he found them in the crowd and danced along side them, pumping his fist in the air and singing loudly.

The music eventually turned slow and a line of hungry girls appeared, waiting for their attention and staring them up and down shamelessly.

They both simultaneously looked at each other and blurted out, “I’ve gotta take a piss!” before running from the room and laughing like a couple of banshees.

“That was brilliant!” James chuckled. 

“I know!” Sirius laughed. “Wait, are we really going to the toilets?” 

“Well, I could use one!” James said. “Why don’t we go to the Prefect’s bathroom so I can grab my stuff...and then we can go someplace _private_ …”

“What? Not the _Room_?”

“No...the bat _emphatically_ said it was completely off limits tonight.”

“But they’re still dancing…”

“Yeah, well I’m not gonna chance it,” James said, shaking his head and grimacing. “We can find someplace else…What about the Astronomy tower?”

“It’s bloody freezing out!”

“Well, I’m burning up...” James grinned.

“Yes, you are,” Sirius grinned back, bumping against shoulder.

When they grabbed James’ stuff from the bathroom Sirius nearly choked when he looked up and saw the stained-glass mermaid, enthusiastically waving and blowing bubbles at them, her red hair flying all around her.

”Guess we made quite the impression on her,” James laughed before they walked out the door.

”You have no idea,” Sirius snorted.

  
~~~

  
After dropping James’ stuff off in the dorm and grabbing the Cloak, they snuck up to the Astronomy tower, snickering and pawing at each other the entire way.

An icy blast of air hit them as soon as they opened the door and stepped out onto the stone covered platform.

”Jesus Christ! It’s freezing!” Sirius yelped, tugging the Cloak off of James’ shoulders and wrapping it around himself.

James just inhaled deeply and tilted his head back to the sky, “But look at all the stars,” he breathed.

Sirius looked up and his mouth fell open. “Blimey. I don’t think I’ve ever seen this many.”

The inky-black sky looked painted over with silver glitter; the stars sparkling like his constellation pin and making him feel giddy.

James turned towards him and gripped the tops of his shoulders, “I look at the stars every day,” he whispered, “but not the ones up there,” he said with a nod to the sky.

Sirius licked his lips and moved closer, his heart rioting in his chest and his eyes flicking to James’ mouth. “Can I touch you now?” he asked, his face deathly serious.

James’ breath visibly hitched as he stared at him. “Please,” he said in a strained voice, his eyes dropping to his lips.

_Mother of Merlin..._

Sirius reached up and gently caressed his perfect cheekbone, marveling at how warm it was, as James automatically leaned into his hand and closed his eyes. Sirius slowly trailed his fingers down the tops of his broad shoulders and onto his satin collar, shivering at the feel of the sensuous fabric. He pressed his palms to his chest, feeling the erratic beat of his heart, and stared up at him.

James opened his eyes and stared back; the electricity between them once again palpable.

_Jesus!_

He ran his hands all the way down his jacket, stopping just at his hips, and then hooked his fingers into the bottom of his cummerbund and pulled him forward.

James groaned when their bodies collided.

Sirius bit down on his lip, feeling a shot of pleasure go straight to his dick like a lightning bolt, and then he slid his hands down to James’ fine arse, cupping it firmly and squeezing, like he’d wanted to since the very first moment he saw him.

_Fuck yes..._

James made a noise and dropped his head, pressing it against the side of his face.

“ _God_ , Ive been wanting to do that all bloody night,” Sirius breathed, stroking his arse again and again and then digging his fingers into the satin and rubbing up against him.

“Bloody hell,” James choked out, moving them so Sirius was now leaning with his back against the stone wall.

Sirius continued to rub his greedy hands all over his satin-clad body as James writhed under his touch, his breath coming out labored and fast. “Kiss me,” he whined, turning his face towards Sirius’.

Sirius ceased his ministrations and clasped hold of his face, pulling him down and smashing their lips together forcefully, _desperately,_ whilst James pawed at him with a vengeance, cupping his arse and squeezing it tight and licking his way inside his mouth like a starving man. He rested his elbows above Sirius’ head, hovering over him, his body shaking and his hot lips ravenous as Sirius held onto his hips for dear life.

After a few passionate minutes, he pulled away panting and stared down at James’ satin collar. “I can’t believe...you _did_ _this_ for me...” he said, suddenly feeling his chest tighten and his eyes grow moist.

”Baby,” James breathed, pressing his pelvis into him and sliding his hands down to grip his neck, “I’d do _anything_ to make you happy...” he said, tilting his chin up with his large, warm thumbs.

Sirius blinked up at him.

”It’s all just _too much_ ,” he croaked, feeling overwhelmed.

James leaned against him, placing his mouth just by his ear, “ _Nothing_ is too much for you.”

And Sirius’ heart stopped.

Something snapped inside him; something ancient and painful. Something he never even knew existed.

_Nothing is too much for you..._

_God,_ if James only knew how much the gesture meant. That he would do such a bold, outlandish thing, just to fulfill his daft fantasy...Just to make him _happy_.

 _“_ You’re better than my dreams,” he heard himself saying. “ _So_ much better.”

A beat passed, and then he felt James’ mouth, crashing into his own like a wave, prying him open and stealing his breath away. 

  
***

~J~  
  


_  
Oh...my...god._

A grateful, needy Sirius writhing against him, running his hands over every inch of satin...was simply too much.

James’ heart raged and his body thrummed, possessed with the feel, the smell, the _taste_ of him.

And Sirius had thought the suit was _too much_? Christ. Nothing could ever compare to the way he made him feel. The things he did to his heart...to his body.

Sirius Black was _too much._

_Too fucking much._

And yet never enough.

He couldn’t get his fill of him.

They groped at each other like animals and went from fast to slow, to fast and slow again and again, finding a desperate kind of rhythm, like a dance.

Despite the frigid temperatures, they only grew hotter.  
  
James gasped for air, his lips swollen and sore, and leaned his hips into Sirius’, feeling his hot, throbbing arousal as he pressed him firmly against the wall. Sirius made a contented sort of noise and slid his arms up under his jacket and around his waist, squeezing him tight and snuggling close.

_Babe..._

And James’ heart burned with an intensity he didn’t know possible.

He nuzzled his face into the top of Sirius’ damp hair, inhaling deeply and feeling lost in a dream.

“You smell like sweat and starlight,” he murmured, leaning into him and never wanting to awaken.

***

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ⭐️✨⭐️✨⭐️✨⭐️


	37. Soup and Devotion

***

~J~

James blinked his eyes open and shivered.

_Where am I?_

He looked down and panicked.

_Where’s my body?!_

And then he shifted himself and realized the Invisibility Cloak was wrapped around him, obscuring his lower half.

He lifted the Cloak up to find Sirius, sound asleep and curled up between his legs with his head rested on his chest.

_Bloody hell…_

They’d fallen asleep on the Astronomy tower.

He squinted his eyes and looked up.

The stars were still there, shining brightly and silently, though they’d definitely changed position since he’d last looked.

_Must be early morning…_

He gripped Sirius by the shoulders and tried to push himself up to standing whilst holding onto him, but was unable to lift both their weight. Sirius just grunted and continued to cling onto him, his body wracked with shivers.

_Shit._

James gritted his teeth and used all the strength of his thighs to push them up, his back pressed firmly against the wall. He groaned and pulled Sirius along with him, panting for air and feeling his numb muscles start to burn and come back to life. How long had they been sitting like that?

“We gotta get warm, babe,” he said, hoisting Sirius up and carrying him in his arms, making sure the Cloak was still wrapped around his shoulders. They’d probably look like a pair of floating heads if they were caught, but it was better than nothing.

He carried Sirius down the silent corridors, getting a few strange looks from people in portraits, but thankfully made it back to the dorms undetected.

His body was about to give out by the time he made it up to their room, his muscles burning and his lungs filled with icy air.

Remus and Peter’s curtains were both drawn and for that he was grateful; the last thing he wanted was a lecture from _Moony_ on the perils of staying out all night in the freezing cold.

He carefully laid Sirius down on his bed and quickly started undressing him. He unlaced his shiny black shoes and tossed them aside and then yanked his trousers down his thighs.

He’d imagined their night ending _very_ _differently_ …as in they’d both be stripping the clothes off _each other_ with a passion…not half-awake and turned into human popsicles.

Sirius grunted and brought him back to the present moment.

“Almost done, babe, and then you’ll get warm,” he said, unbuttoning his shirt—the very same one that had single-handedly stopped his heart in the ballroom…When Sirius had appeared looking like some kind of black-demon-lothario, with his buttons undone just enough to drive him positively wild.

_Christ._

James shook his head at the memory and went to Sirius’ dresser, grabbing his pajamas from the top drawer.

As he was sliding the pants up his legs, he couldn’t believe how cold Sirius’ skin felt. He rubbed his hands up and down his thighs, trying to warm him. “You’re bloody _freezing_ ,” he hissed.

Sirius just hummed in response and continued to lay there, and then James put his pajama top on and buttoned it up. Once finished, he stared down at him for a moment, still awake enough to see how achingly beautiful he looked, and still awake enough to feel it in his dick. He leaned down and placed his mouth by his ear, “You were fucking gorgeous tonight,” he whispered, suddenly wanting to devour him, thinking that would certainly get them both _warm_ in a hurry.

“Mmm,” Sirius noised, remaining motionless.

James chuckled and pulled back. “Guess we’ll save it for later then…” he said, his heart sinking a bit.

He pulled the covers back, gripped Sirius under the arms, and hiked him up the bed, then tucked him in like a child. He brushed his raven hair back from his forehead and placed a kiss in the very center, once again, surprised by how _cold_ his skin felt.

Sirius shivered and curled up in a tight ball, his teeth chattering.

And suddenly James couldn’t leave him.

He bit his lip and flicked his eyes to the other boy’s beds. Their curtains were still drawn and they were fast asleep.

_Maybe just this once…_

He rolled off the bed and quickly changed into his pajamas, tossing his suit aside and deciding to worry about it another day, and then he crawled in bed behind Sirius and spooned him just like old times. He tugged him close into his body and threw his leg over the side of his thigh, caging him in, and trying to warm him as best he could. Sirius just grunted and curled into him like some kind of cat, molding itself to fit his body.

“ _God_ , I’ve missed this,” James breathed by his ear, his own body swiftly warming and coming back to life whilst at the same time being dragged to sleep.

He wanted to hang on longer…hold on tighter…savor the precious moment…

But he couldn’t.

He tried to resist the pull, but in the end, sleep won.

***

~S~  
  


  
The next morning Sirius woke to a pounding headache and runny nose.

He blinked his crusty eyes open and winced.

_Bloody hell…what happened?_

His whole body ached from head to toe, as if he’d fallen off his broom in a particularly violent Quidditch match. His head felt stuffed with cotton and his hearing was muffled.

He rubbed his eyes and sniffled, trying to remember how he got in this state.

And then he had a vision of James, in his _white satin suit,_ and the memories came flooding back...

Snogging on the Astronomy tower for hours…lying in James’ arms and gazing up at the stars...talking until they were hoarse and half-asleep...and then they must have dozed off.

_But how did I get back in my bed?_

And then he felt a pair of strong, warm arms wrapped tightly around his body and stiffened.

 _James_.

He instantly relaxed and closed his eyes.

Somehow he’d ended up in bed with _James_.

Maybe they’d gotten more amorous than he’d remembered…

James stirred and hugged him closer, mumbling something in his sleep, and Sirius wanted to turn towards him and ask what had happened and how their night had ended, but he couldn’t.

The pounding in his head grew stronger and sleep pulled at him with a vengeance.

And he just let go.

***

~J~  
  


  
  
James felt hot

 _Very_ hot.

Uncomfortably _hot_.

Fire Salamander on the hearth, _hot_.

He blinked his eyes open and winced.

_What the fuck?_

Was he in some kind of furnace?

He squirmed under the mound of blankets and realized he was still holding Sirius in his arms...

Sirius was tucked up against his front tightly; melded to him practically; like a hot coal burning through his chest.

James released him and threw back the covers, quickly sitting up, his senses rushing back to him.

_He shouldn’t feel that hot. No one should feel that hot._

“Sirius?” he rasped, turning towards him and touching his forehead with the back of his hand. “Jesus! You’re burning up!”

Sirius didn’t respond; he just shivered, his teeth chattering like rattling bones as he lay curled in on himself.

“Bloody hell,” James groaned. “You’re sick!”

He brushed Sirius’ hair back from his face and swiped his fingertips over his forehead.

He was definitely sweaty.

_Very sweaty. Not good._

He felt as hot as the damn sun.

And James started to panic.

“Okay…this is okay…everything is going to be _okay_ …I’ll get you to the hospital wing.”

He hopped off the bed and rushed over to his dresser, clumsily tripping on the rug and hitting the floor hard on all fours. “Shit!” he yelped, scrambling to get back up.

“What’s the matter?” Remus’ gravelly voice came.

“Nothing, Moony. I’m fine,” he snipped, yanking open his dresser drawer and throwing some clothes out. He quickly stripped off his pajamas and started pulling his jeans up his thighs whilst simultaneously trying to get both arms through a jumper. “Bloody hell…”

“What are you _doing_?” Remus asked, poking his head out of his curtains and squinting his eyes.

“I’m _trying_ …to get _dressed_ ,” James hissed, finally shoving the jumper down over his stomach with a huff.

“Why?”

“Because…Sirius is _sick_ ,” he grumbled, now rummaging through Sirius’ dresser drawers for some clean clothes. He grabbed a pair of black trackies and a grey thermal and rushed back over to the bed.

Remus rolled off his four-poster and padded over to him, his copper hair sticking up in all directions and his face puffy. “Are you taking him to see Madam Pomfrey?”

“As soon as I can get him dressed,” James replied, yanking the covers back and grabbing hold of Sirius’ bare ankles, tugging him to the end of the bed with such force that he nearly flew right off it. “Shit,” he muttered, pushing him backwards slightly.

Remus just stared at Sirius with wide eyes. “ _Christ_. He looks bloody terrible...” he murmured. “Hang on, I’ll get dressed, too, and help you get him down there.”

“Thanks,” James said as he pulled Sirius’ pajamas off and quickly tried to dress him.

“Peter, wake up,” Remus hissed, yanking the cord to his curtains. “Sirius is sick and we’re going to the hospital wing.”

There was a scurry of feet and commotion but James kept his concentration on Sirius; he looked barely alive.

“Shit, you need socks!” he yelped, laying him back down on the bed again and rushing to the dresser. He rifled through Sirius’ drawer, suddenly not happy with any of the available choices. The colors and patterns just didn’t look right.

_Fuck! Get ahold of yourself!_

He finally grabbed a maroon and gold striped pair and rushed back to the bed.

“Is he alive?” Peter asked in a scratchy voice.

“Yes, _Wormtail_ ,” James growled. “He’s just got a cold or something.”

“But why?”

“Because we were out late last night…”

“Where?”

“On the _Astronomy tower_ , if you must know!” he barked, the words coming out much louder and angrier than he’d intended.

Peter winced and jumped back.

“Sorry, I’m just… _stressed_ ,” he said, staring at Sirius’ motionless body on the bed.

He swallowed hard.

_He’ll be fine…It will all be fine…this is…fine..._

“Ready?” Remus asked, now dressed in miss-matched clothes and hopping on one foot whilst trying to shove the other one into a boot.

“Yeah, let me just…” James said, grabbing hold of Sirius’ forearms and pulling him to sitting, and then he scooped him up in his arms with a grunt and cradled him against his chest.

“You’re just gonna _carry_ him?” Peter gaped.

“Unless you have a _better_ suggestion?” James snapped.

“C’mon, I’ll get the door,” Remus said, grabbing Peter by the arm and tugging him along.

James exhaled shakily and glanced down at Sirius, his heart nearly pounding out of his chest. “It’s gonna be okay, babe. I _promise_. I’ll take care of you.”

~~~

  
  
They headed down to the hospital wing like a stampede of hippogriffs. 

Remus handled the front guard duty and would bark at people to move out of their way or explain what was wrong with Sirius, whilst Peter scurried to open doors.

By the time they arrived, James’ arms were about to give out. Even though Sirius was shorter than him and on the thinner side, he was still stout and muscular, a “heavy sack of potatoes,” he liked to call him, much to Sirius’ chagrin.

Madam Pomfrey rushed towards them, concern etched into her face. “What happened?”

“I think he’s got a cold…or a fever…maybe both…I dunno but I think he’s passed out,” James said, trying to stay calm.

Madame Pomfrey ushered them over to an empty bed and James gently laid him down.

“I’ll examine him and see what’s going on…” she said, promptly lifting his shirt up and pressing her stethoscope to his bare chest.

Sirius’ breaths were visibly ragged.

And James suddenly remembered the last time he’d brought him here…after his _near fatal_ duel with Snape…When he’d seen him writhing around on the bed and nearly lost it…

He rubbed his eyes and sighed impatiently, watching Sirius’ chest heave up and down with great effort.

This visit was entirely different.

“Hmm,” Madam Pomfrey noised with a deep frown as she continued to listen to his breathing.

“What?” James hissed, a shot of adrenaline electrifying his body.

“Well, he’s definitely got a lot of congestion… _and_ a fever,” she said, feeling his forehead with the back of her hand. “It seems to have escalated beyond a common cold.”

James’ heart stopped and his mouth fell open. He turned to look back at Remus and Peter, who just stared at him with mystified expressions.

And then Remus quickly stepped forward, “Okay, well what can be done for him?” he asked, crossing his arms over his chest and standing taller.

“He needs to stay here for observation and I’ll concoct a special potion to bring the fever down and break up the fluids in his lungs.”

James bit his lip and stared at Sirius with wide, blank eyes, his heart nearly beating out of his chest.

_Wait. What? What’s happening?!_

“Okay, good. I’m guessing he won’t be well enough to attend classes tomorrow,” Remus said, “So we’ll take care of it…”

“That’s good,” Madam Pomfrey said, furrowing her brows and flipping through a giant, brown leather book she was holding in her arms. “You can leave him here and let him rest.”

“I’m not leaving,” James snapped, suddenly coming to.

Remus winced and Peter scuttled behind him.

“He needs his _rest_ , young man. You just go on and enjoy your Sunday and visit him later.”

“No,” he said resolutely. “I won’t leave him.” Then he grabbed a chair and roughly yanked it towards the bed. He sat down and clutched Sirius’ hand, pressing it against his own cheek.

_This is all my fault…all my fucking fault._

Madam Pomfrey narrowed her eyes at him and then looked to Peter and Remus.

They both just shrugged.

“Best mates they are,” Remus said, staring at them with wide eyes.

“Inseparable,” Peter chimed in.

Madam Pomfrey huffed, then threw her hands in the air and walked away.

“He’ll be okay, James,” Remus said, lightly patting him on the back. “He’s strong…it’s probably just a really bad cold.”

“She said it was _worse_ than that… _Worse_ than a common cold.”

Remus looked to Peter with wide eyes. “Well, do you want us to stay here or…”

“No, you can go…” James said, never taking his eyes off Sirius. He reached up and wiped the sweat off his forehead with the back of his hand.

“We’ll come back and check on you…” Remus said.

“Yeah, we’ll bring you lunch!” Peter exclaimed.

“Yes! We’ll bring you lunch!” Remus repeated, as if it were the most important thing at the moment.

“Thanks, mates…”

But James wasn’t really hearing them.

_God...what have I done?_

  
  
~~~

Sirius’ fever seemed to be getting worse.

He was soaked with sweat and tossing and turning, muttering unintelligible things and going to war with his sheets.

“What’s he saying?” Madam Pomfrey asked, checking his pulse again.

“I’m not sure,” James sighed, ready to pull his own hair out—watching him suffer was madness!

Suddenly, Sirius’ body clenched and he gasped out, “Prongs!…Prongs!…”

And James’ eyes went as wide as saucers.

“Prongs? What’s that?” Madam Pomfrey asked.

“I dunno,” James replied, a grin creeping up his face.

_He wants me…he wants me…even when he’s sick…incoherent…he still fucking wants me…Bloody hell._

He squeezed Sirius’ hand tighter, willing him to get better and wishing he could take his pain away.

“Nearly there,” Madam Pomfrey muttered, feeling his forehead, “fevers nearly broke…”

James leaned his elbows on the bed and rested his face in one hand whilst still holding onto Sirius’ with the other.

_It’s nearly over…thank god._

Remus and Peter bounded back into the room carrying a brown paper sack.

“How is he?” Remus asked.

“Fevers nearly broke.”

“Oh, thank Merlin!” he sighed.

“Here, we got you some lunch,” Peter said, shoving the bag in James’ face.

“Just set it over there, please,” he replied, too exhausted and worried to eat.

Peter sat the bag down, visibly disgruntled.

“You need to eat, mate,” Remus said, touching his shoulder. “Keep up your strength. We can’t have you _both_ getting sick. Sirius wouldn’t want that.”

“No, he wouldn’t,” James exhaled. “Alright, I’ll eat something.” He stood up and then leaned down over Sirius, placing a kiss on his sweaty forehead, “I’m still here, babe. I’m not going anywhere.”

Peter and Remus gaped at each other, and thankfully, Madam Pomfrey was busy bustling around the back of the hospital wing, completely oblivious, but at this point, James could have cared less.

He picked up the bag and opened it.

“We went to the kitchens and got you some vegetable broth soup and bread,” Remus said. “Figured it would be the best thing to keep you from getting sick.”

“Good thinking,” he replied, popping the lid off the container and stirring the soup with a spoon, a cloud of salty steam hitting him right in the face. He didn’t really have an appetite, but Moony was right, Sirius wouldn’t want him getting sick, too. So he swallowed down a spoonful, not really tasting it, and sat back down next to Sirius, taking his hand again and lacing their fingers together.

~~~

  
  
It was several hours later when Sirius’ fever finally broke; it took much longer than Madam Pomfrey had said, and James had suffered right along with him for every minute of it. It was almost more than he could stand. He would have much rather taken his place on that bed then watch him go through it, completely helpless to make things better.

Remus and Peter appeared again, eager for an update.

”The fever’s finally broke!” James said, so relieved to see them.

”Oh, thank Merlin!” Remus sighed as Peter grinned next to him. “Is there anything we can do?”

“Yes! He needs fresh clothes!” James said, jumping up and suddenly feeling revived. He had to feel useful or he’d go mad.

“We’ll go get them. Anything in particular?” Remus asked.

“Erm, his light grey trackies in his top drawer, a pair of socks—the green striped ones—and that light blue jumper—it’s in his third drawer from the top…oh, and a pair of white briefs.”

Remus and Peter just stared at him incredulously.

“Okay,” Remus breathed with wide eyes.

~~~

  
  
James had dozed off with his head rested on Sirius’ bed when he was awoken to the feeling of a hand on his shoulder.

He looked up to see Sirius’ eyes fluttering open.

“Babe? Are you awake?”

“Mmm,” Sirius noised.

“Sirius! I’m right here…”

Sirius grunted and then cleared his throat. “Water,” he rasped out.

And James nearly fell backwards over his chair as he jumped up, scrambling to find some. He quickly filled up a glass and carefully held it out to him, but Sirius was too weak to even hold it, so he held it to his lips for him instead.

Sirius gulped it down and then leaned back on his pillows with a heavy sigh. “I’m beat,” he said, his voice raspy.

“God, you were so sick! I was so worried,” James said, kneeling down by the bedside and taking hold of his hand.

“Oh, love…” Sirius said weakly. “I’m so sorry…”

“No! It’s not your fault. It was all _mine._ I never should have let us fall asleep on that blasted tower…It was bloody _freezing_.”

“We both fell asleep...s’not your fault…”

James kissed the palm of his hand and held it to his face, pressing it against his cheek.

“Remus and Peter went to get you some new clothes, and they even brought me food…they’ve been very attentive.”

“Mmm,” Sirius hummed.

“Is he awake?” Madam Pomfrey asked, rushing over.

“Yes! And talking!”

“Oh, good!” she said, taking Sirius’ hand and flipping it over to feel his pulse. She nodded and then felt his forehead. “Much better. I’ll give him another dose of medicine. And then you need to let him _rest_.”

“But he _is_ resting,” James murmured, still holding his ground.

Madam Pomfrey peered down her long nose at him and pursed her lips. “Oh, alright. But you’re _not_ going to spend the night here.”

“Okay,” he replied, already thinking about using the Cloak.

She left them alone again and Sirius blinked his eyes open. “Love?”

“I’m here.”

“Water,” he said with a grimace.

“Of course!”

James jumped up and poured some more in the glass then held it to his lips.

“We got his clothes!” Remus panted, suddenly trotting back into the room with Peter and completely out of breath.

“Brilliant!” James beamed, feeling a thousand pounds lighter. “He’s awake now and talking, too! Madam Pomfrey said the worst is over!”

“That’s great!” Remus beamed back, handing him the stack of clothes.

James took them and bent his head down to Sirius’ ear, “I picked the _blue jumper_ because it brings out the color of your _eyes_ ,” he whispered.

Sirius smiled weakly with his eyes still closed whilst Peter and Remus just exchanged baffled glances.

“Well, we’re gonna head up to supper,” Remus said. “Do you want us to bring you food again?”

“If you wouldn’t mind?”

“Sure. And do you think Sirius wants to eat anything?”

James leaned down again. “Babe, do you wanna eat anything?”

“Mmm…soup,” Sirius replied.

“The man wants _soup_!” James exclaimed loudly.

“Shhh!” Madam Pomfrey scolded as she carried over a tray with a bottle of medicine.

“Sorry,” he said blushing. He then nodded to Remus and Peter and they turned and left the room.

“Time for medicine!” Madam Pomfrey said, picking up the silver bottle.

James rushed over and propped Sirius up on his pillows, clutching onto his shoulders. “Get this down first and then you can have your soup,” he said.

“Are you sure you don’t want to be a _nurse_?” Madam Pomfrey asked with a sly grin.

“I hadn’t really thought about it,” James replied, a mischievous expression crossing his face.

“Alright, dear, open up and take this spoonful and you’ll feel all better.”

James instinctively opened his mouth at the same time Sirius did, and then grinned at his own ridiculousness. “Good lad,” he said, watching him, his smile so wide his cheeks were hurting.

_He’s awake! He’s okay! Thank Merlin!_

Sirius swallowed the spoonful with a grimace.

“Do you wanna change into some fresh clothes?” James asked.

Sirius nodded in reply.

“Actually,” James said, “he probably needs fresh sheets, too...” He tapped his finger to his lips. “Can we just swap beds with that one?” he asked, pointing to the one next to them.

“If you’ll help me move it!” Madam Pomfrey snipped, shaking her head.

“Okay! Well why don’t I get him changed first and then we can transfer him?”

“Do you have his clothes?”

“Yes.”

James just stood there and stared at her, waiting for her to leave, and when she obviously wasn’t getting the message he cleared his throat loudly and said, “Right, well I’ll just shut these curtains for privacy and get him changed.”

“You think you can handle it by yourself?”

“Yes!” he said a little too loudly and a little too confidently.

She narrowed her eyes at him.

“Alright, I’ll leave you to it then.”

He exhaled and whipped the curtains shut in her face.

“Finally, we’re _alone_ ,” he whispered.

Sirius just smiled with his eyes still closed, and James gently hoisted him up to sitting. “I wish I could put you in the _shower_ ,” he said frowning as he peeled off is sweat-soaked shirt. “I _know_ that would make you feel better.”

“Mmmhmm.”

He then laid him back on the bed so he could take his pants off.

“This keeps happening,” Sirius murmured.

“What?”

“You undressing me…and dressing me.”

“Yeah, I guess it does,” James said thoughtfully. “You’re kinda like my doll.”

Sirius snorted and then winced at the pain.

“Hang on, I’ll get you some water,” James said. He snatched the glass off the tray and held it up to his lips, watching him sip.

“Better?”

“Yes, thanks.”

He tugged Sirius’ trackies off next and couldn’t help but smile and blush.

“Did I ever tell you about when I knew without a doubt that I was hot for you? I probably did…but I’ll tell it again anyway…It was when you were in here after your duel with Snivellus…”

“Hmm?”

“Yeah, you were laying on the bed, writhing around in your white, goddamn briefs,” he said, leaning down and whispering by his ear, “with your beautiful fucking package right in my face...your muscles bulging and abs tight...and I’d never wanted anything more in my life...I literally had to run from the fucking room and wank in the Prefect’s bathroom… _multiple_ _times_.”

A huge grin started creeping up Sirius’ pale face. “Really?” he croaked. “I didn’t know it was _that_ bad…”

“Yeah it was. I still get hard just thinking about it,” he sighed, flicking his eyes down to his briefs. “ _God_ , I wish I could go down on you right now. I _know_ that would make you feel better….”

Sirius hummed and smiled large.

“How about tonight?” James asked.

“M’kay,” Sirius said still smiling.

James quickly pulled down his soggy underpants, feeling his own cock grow warmer at the sight of him, and then tossed them on the chair atop his pile of dirty clothes and slid the clean pair on. “Alright, babe. All better.”

He sat Sirius up again and pulled on the clean blue jumper before laying him back down.

“I love you,” he whispered by his ear before softly kissing his lips, feeling his heart swell to capacity as he did.

“Love you, too.”

He then opened the curtains and grabbed the bed next to them, pulling it over. He scooped Sirius up and laid him down on it. 

“Guess you didn’t need my help after all!” Madam Pomfrey said with her hands on her hips.

“I managed,” he grinned.

She started stripping down the old bed and James grabbed a chair and pulled it up to Sirius’ new one, sitting down and taking hold of his hand.

“We brought supper!” Remus said smiling proudly as he and Peter appeared again, carrying two brown bags.

“More soup and bread!” Peter said with a toothy grin. “Sure you don’t want cake or anything?”

“No, this is better,” James said, taking the bags and setting them on the tray table . “He needs _nutritious_ food.”

Peter rolled his eyes and huffed.

“I’ll get him fed and then meet you guys in the commons later.”

“Sounds good, mate!” Remus said, squeezing his bicep, and then he walked over to Sirius and gently patted him on the arm, “You keep getting better, Padfoot; it’s not the same without you.”

And then Peter patted his arm awkwardly and said, “Yeah.”

James smiled, his heart expanding, completely endeared by their gestures.

“We’ll see you later,” Remus said with a smile.

“Okay, thanks!”

A group of Hufflepuffs suddenly walked in the room, with several of them holding their arms in pain.

“What’s this?” Madam Pomfrey asked, rushing over.

“Quidditch practice—these two crashed into each other and fell off their brooms.”

James turned to Sirius and smirked, “Well, at least she’ll leave _us_ alone now.”

Sirius just grinned.

He hastily got up and shut the curtains and then sat back down.

“Babe?”

“Hmm?”

“Are you tired? Do you want me to go?”

“Course not!” Sirius croaked out, his eyes popping open. “Besides, I thought you were gonna spoon feed me or sumphin’.”

James chuckled and took the bag off the tray, opening up the soup container.

“I’ll do anything you want, baby,” he crooned.

“Good,” Sirius said with a tired smirk. “I could get used to this.”

James grinned and dipped the spoon in the soup, swirling it around, before popping it in his own mouth. “Not too hot,” he said thoughtfully, and then looked up to see Sirius watching him, a smug look on his pale face.

“What?”

“Nothin’, just enjoying the view.”

James chuckled and moved closer, filling up the spoon again. “The temps just right…here you go…open up.”

Sirius pursed his lips and then grinned and opened his mouth, taking the spoon and swallowing it down.

“You’re too good to me,” he said quietly, his cheeks flushing.

And James nearly poured the next spoonful on the bed.

“Now don’t start the _sweet talk_ or you’ll never eat,” he said, blushing and biting his lip.

“Well, then don’t do _that_ ,” Sirius said, raising his eyebrows and staring pointedly at his mouth.

“Alright,” James smirked. “Are you gonna eat this or what?”

“Tisk, tisk, fussy aren’t we? I thought _I_ was the invalid.”

“Glad to see you’re getting back to yourself.”

Sirius just rolled his eyes and opened his mouth again for another helping.

“Can’t even imagine what my hair looks like,” he muttered after swallowing.

“It’s a sweaty mess. Just the way I like it.”

“Great…So what about lessons tomorrow? I’m definitely not gonna be strong enough.”

“I’ll take care of it, don’t worry. You just need to _rest_.”

“Bugger—what about Quidditch! We have a match this weekend… _Slytherin_ …”

“I bet you’ll be back to normal by then. And if not, we can use an alternate.”

“An alternate? Fill my shoes? Hmph.”

“No one could ever fill _your_ shoes… _or your pants_ ,” James said grinning widely.

“Hey!” Sirius barked, trying to swat at him but not quite having the strength.

James shook his head. “You’re still tired…you need to _rest_. Here, eat a bit more soup and then you can relax.”

Sirius just stared at him.

“Okay… _daddy_.”

James flushed, feeling a shot of heat go straight to his groin. “Sick as a dog and you’re still horny?”

“Only for _you_.”

James stared at him for a beat, suddenly getting lost in his eyes. “You’re beautiful, you know?” he whispered, a sharp pain shooting through his heart.

“Mmm,” Sirius hummed, reaching his hand up and cupping the side of his face, stroking his cheekbone back and forth with his thumb.

“I hate to leave you…”

“I know,” Sirius sighed, “but you need rest, too.”

James sat like that for a long while, holding his hand to his face, until Sirius drifted off to sleep, looking like a sweaty, rumpled angel.

He finally stood up and placed a light kiss on his lips; one on each cheek and then one on his forehead, and finally, he had to _make_ himself stop, knowing he could carry on for hours.

The shuffle of footsteps caught his attention and made him whip his head up.

He grabbed Sirius’ dirty clothes from the chair and stepped out from the curtains, nearly colliding with Madam Pomfrey.

“He’s sleeping,” he whispered.

“As should _you_ be!” she scolded.

“I’m on my way, but I’ll be back tomorrow,” he said with a sleepy grin.

“I have no doubt,” she replied, shaking her head.

And then he reluctantly walked towards the exit, feeling his heart tighten painfully with each step.

How was it was possible to love someone with such an aching intensity? Especially when you already thought you loved them to full capacity...

But he was constantly being surprised. The heart was truly a mysterious thing.

He trudged up to his room in a daze, exhaustion finally starting to seep into his bones.

“How is he?” Remus asked eagerly, pulling back his comforter, about to climb into bed.

“Better,” he replied. “He ate some soup and is sleeping now.” And then he cleared his throat, “And um, thanks for all your help today, _both_ of you. I couldn’t have done it without you,” he croaked out, feeling a ball of suppressed emotion expand inside his chest, ready to combust.

Remus walked towards him and squeezed the top of his shoulder. “Of course, mate. What are friends for?”

James exhaled and smiled wearily, feeling more invisible weights drop from his body. He was so grateful they were all back on good terms. He hadn’t realized just how much he’d needed them.

“Thanks…” he said. “I’m gonna go shower and then crash…”

~~~

  
  
As James stood under the hot water, shampooing his hair and thinking back over the last twenty-four hours, a few things were made absolutely clear…

One, if Sirius was suffering, his heart was inadvertently breaking.

Two, if Sirius was in danger, his world was automatically turned upside down.

And three, if Sirius were ever to…

He swallowed hard and pounded a fist against the wall.

He _hated_ feeling powerless to help him.

 _Loathed_ it with every fiber of his being.

Having to sit, and _wait_ , and do _nothing_ was absolute torture.

Sirius was _everything..._ and the thought of something bad happening to him in any capacity…and the thought of it somehow being _his_ fault…was simply unbearable.

Intolerable.

_Fucking unacceptable._

He suddenly bent in half, as if punched in the gut, a sob escaping his mouth as his body started to shake.

 _Shit_.

He pressed himself against the tile wall, all of his muscles clenched and his heart throbbing like nothing he’d ever felt before...and he finally just let go...let the tears flow unhindered...the emotions seep out...all that he’d been trying to suppress, come to a head.

_He’s everything to me..._

***

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 🐺⭐️🤒🍵🩺😱🦌😭


	38. On the Mend

***

~J~

James had just planned to sleep for a few hours and then sneak down to the hospital wing under the Cloak, but as soon as he’d collapsed on his bed, exhaustion consumed him and he fell into a deep sleep.

He dreamed that he went down to the hospital wing and found the place deserted. He rushed around, frantically pulling back the curtains to all the beds and calling out for Sirius, but there was no answer. When he finally got to the very last bed, he whipped the curtains open and stifled a scream. Sirius was there, but something was wrong. He was too pale, too still…too _lifeless_. Hesitantly, he walked over to his bedside and reached out his hand to touch him, his fingertips making contact with ice-cold skin. He gasped in horror and threw himself on top of him, shaking him and trying to wake him.

“Noooo!” he wailed, his cry echoing in the silence.

James jerked up in bed with a start, his eyes bulging and his heart pounding a million miles an hour.

_Bloody hell..._

Was it only a dream?

 _A_ _nightmare_.

He wiped the sweat off his brow and yanked his curtains back, sliding his feet into his slippers and grabbing the Invisibility Cloak off the chair. He threw it over himself and ran out of the room.

He arrived at the hospital wing, panting and wild-eyed, and nearly burst through the double doors with a clatter, but caught himself and carefully tiptoed inside.

His eyes immediately locked on Sirius’ bed.

The curtains were still drawn.

He held his breath and walked forward, and with a trembling hand, he parted them.

His heart did a back flip as soon as he saw Sirius, laying on the bed, breathing and clearly alive.

_Oh, thank god!_

He rushed forward and fell to his knees, the Cloak sliding off his shoulders and onto the floor as he did. “Merlin,” he hissed, his eyes starting to water as he clutched Sirius’ warm hand and held it to his mouth, repeatedly kissing his fingertips.

Sirius stirred and blinked his eyes open.

“James?”

“Yes,” he sniffled.

“Was’ wrong?”

“I just missed you.”

Sirius caressed his cheek.

“Love, don’t cry…I’m okay,”

“I know…but I had a dream…”

“A nightmare?”

“Yes…about you,” James sniffled again, wiping under his nose with his sleeve. “I came down here to find you…and you were…” he trailed off, making a face.

Sirius grimaced slightly and grasped hold of his chin, tilting his face up. “I’m right here, love…and I’m not going anywhere.”

James sighed and took his hand, tenderly kissing the inside of his wrist. “Good, because I can’t bloody _live_ without you.”

And then Sirius lifted his arms out to him and he wasted no time lurching forward and melting right into them, lying on top of him. Sirius stroked his hair back and squeezed him closer. “I’m right here...I’m right here.”

“Jus’ don’t ever leave me,” James croaked, burying his face in the crook of his neck. “I couldn’t fucking bear it.”

“I never will,” Sirius said determinedly. “Look how far we’ve come…I mean, I’ve got you tattooed on my _arse_. Why would I bloody leave someone who’s face was on my _arse_?”

James chuckled and hugged him tighter, soothed by his warmth and achingly familiar scent.

“We’ve already beat the odds,” Sirius said quietly, twisting a curl of his hair around his finger. “Nothing will ever tear us apart...”

James sighed, feeling wholly relieved. “You’ve turned me into a right proper sop, you know that, right?”

“You were always a _sop_. That’s what I love about you.”

“Mmm.”

“Now, go back to sleep. The last thing I want is for you to get sick, too. And don’t try and spend all day with me tomorrow either. Go to class and get my lessons. I’ll just sleep all day anyway.”

“Well, I’m coming first thing in the morning, and at lunch, and supper, and after….” James said pulling back to look at him.

“Alright, you fool,” Sirius said grinning sleepily. “Have it _your_ way.”

“I will, thank you,” James said, grinning back.

“Well, kiss me then and off to bed.”

“Yes, sir,” he said, hovering over him. He leaned his face down and brushed their lips together, gently, _carefully_ , not wanting to hurt him, but then Sirius surprised him by reaching up and clasping hold of his face, pulling him down for a deeper kiss.

James moaned and slid his tongue into his mouth, completely amazed.

Sirius was ravenous.

“Babe,” he breathed, pulling back , “you’re gonna wear yourself out…”

“Jus’ one more,” Sirius pleaded, pulling him down again and kissing him passionately, sending a bolt of electricity right through his body.

_Merlin!_

“I love you,” Sirius breathed against his lips.

“Love you, too,” James murmured, his eyes closed and his heart pounding. “I can stay all night…if you want.”

“No, what I _want_ is for you to go and get a proper rest. You’re gonna need all your energy to service me tomorrow.”

James snorted and shook his head. “Alright, I’ll see you in the morning then,” he sighed, reluctantly pushing up and off the bed.

And then Sirius reached out and grabbed hold of his hand, bringing it to his mouth and kissing the palm.

_Oh god…_

And James just stared fixedly at him, his heart throbbing painfully.

Sirius looked up at him with round blue eyes and blinked slowly. “Thank you…for _everything_ …”

James swallowed, feeling his chest tighten. He couldn’t handle a grateful Sirius right now.

 _Nope._ _Absolutely not._

“Save if for later…” he said, his voice raspy. “When I can respond to that _properly_ …”

Sirius smirked and let go of his hand, leaning back on the bed. “I look forward to it.”

“So do I,” James breathed, not sure if he actually had the willpower to leave him.

Eventually, he sighed and leaned down, placing a quick kiss to his lips. And then he grabbed the Cloak and threw it over his shoulders, making everything disappear except for his head.

“Even if you were jus’ a head, I’d still love you,” Sirius muttered, his eyes starting to droop.

James nearly barked out a laugh but then quickly covered his mouth with his cloaked hand, stifling the noise.

“Tomorrow,” he said resolutely.

And then he ran back to the dorms, grinning like a git the entire way with his heart feeling a thousand pounds lighter.

***

~J~

The next day James did just as he said he would. He went and saw Sirius first thing in the morning, bringing him breakfast and insisting that he eat to keep up his strength.

“Here’s some hot pumpkin juice…that should be good for your throat…”

“I know what would be good for my throat,” Sirius replied with a mischievous grin, his blue eyes finally starting to sparkle again.

“Ha-ha, well you’ll just have to wait until you’re better for _that_. Here, eat a hot sticky bun instead.”

“Will you feed it to me?”

James was just about to oblige and shove it in his pretty little mouth when Madam Pomfrey appeared.

“Best not,” he said under his breath, trying to stifle a grin.

“Well, I see you’re back again!”

“I brought breakfast,” James said with wide, innocent eyes.

“Oh, alright,” she huffed, a grin pulling at the corners of her mouth before she walked away.

“See, no one can resist your charm,” Sirius said as he took a massive bite out of the bun, nearly swallowing it whole.

James just stared at him, mesmerized.

Sirius grinned and licked his lips.

“See something you want?”

“Yes!” he croaked, making himself laugh.

“Well, you’ll just have to _wait_ ,” Sirius said haughtily.

“Git,” James muttered. “Okay, so I’ll come back and bring you lunch, and dinner, and whatever else you might need.”

“What about Quidditch practice?”

“I can come see you before and after…”

“Prongs.”

“What?”

“You’re gonna run yourself ragged making that many trips down here…”

“It’s good exercise.”

“Right…”

They both stared at each other with pursed lips.

”Well, run along to class,” Sirius finally said. “Don’t we have Slughorn first? I’m sure he’ll be _dying_ to _dote_ on you…” He rolled his eyes.

“Hey, don’t get all snippy with me, Mr.! I’d much rather stay with you.”

“I know,” Sirius grumbled. “Well, maybe I can move back into the room later today. If _she’ll_ let me go,” he said, nodding towards Madam Pomfrey and sighing.

“Just rest and I’ll be back in no time!”

“Yeah, yeah.”

***

~S~

Sirius could not believe how above and beyond James had gone for him. It was just unreal. No one had ever cared that much before. He wanted to have a full on strop just thinking about it, and so he tried not to. But it was rather difficult, what with spending so many hours alone in the hospital with nothing to do.

When sleep eluded him, the one thought that kept repeating in his mind was, _I can’t believe he cares so much…I can’t believe he cares so much..._

It was so foreign to be doted on.

So strange to be fussed over.

 _God_ , his mother had probably wished he’d really died all the times he’d been sick and in her care. If “care” is what it could be called. She’d probably just been more interested in preserving his precious “Black” _blood_ rather than _him_ —though she did always have his younger brother to proudly carry on the family name…so losing Sirius wouldn’t have been so detrimental.

He rolled over and scrunched his eyes shut, not wanting to re-visit such a dark place. Either sleep needed to come swiftly or James needed to barge back in…with arm-fulls of soup and socks and wearing that ridiculous, giddy grin. His teeth were almost blinding when he smiled like that...

Sirius started to grin just thinking about it, all dark thoughts quickly leaving his brain.

He loved being wanted.

He treasured being worried over.

And he fucking adored the boy with the ridiculous, giddy grin.

***

~J~

James had a very hard time concentrating on any of his lessons without Sirius there. He couldn’t stop thinking about him, lying all alone in the hospital wing…with no one to dote on him properly, no one to meet his every need...Madam Pomfrey certainly didn’t count; caretaking was all _business_ and no indulging for her.

When it was finally time for lunch, James was so relieved to get back to Sirius.

He bounded into the hospital wing, carrying a load of bags and boxes in his arms (the house elves had been _more_ than generous) and was completely shocked to find several bouquets of colorful flowers on the bedside tables.

Sirius opened his eyes and smiled up at him.

***

~S~

“Bloody hell! Who are all these from?!” James asked, a wild look in his eyes.

“My admirers,” Sirius replied with a sleepy smile.

“What?!”

“Yeah…read the cards.”

James quickly emptied his arms and plucked a card out of a bouquet of daisies.

“Who the fuck is Victoria Bixby?”

“No idea.”

James plucked out another card from some purple orchids, “And Ginerva Grimmly?”

“Never heard of her.”

“Who _are_ all these girls?!”

“My _admirers_ , I told you. Guess my illness is the gossip of the day.”

James huffed indignantly, his brows furrowed so deep they were literally touching in the middle.

“Oh, love. Don’t look so jealous! You’d get _loads_ of flowers, too! Way more than me, I’m sure…”

James scowled and plopped down on the bed next to him. “I don’t _want_ flowers and admirers, you git! And I certainly don’t want anyone chasing after _you_. You’re _mine_ ,” he growled, leaning towards him, a ferocious look crossing his gorgeous face.

And Sirius wanted to laugh.

He absolutely loved it when James was jealous over him. Fucking _lived_ for it.

He stared back in his eyes and suddenly felt very warm, wondering if maybe his fever had returned.

_God, he looks good…_

_So good._

He licked his lips and automatically fanned his shirt.

“Do you have a temperature?” James asked, his eyes widening and his voice full of panic.

“Erm, no…just for _you_ ,” Sirius said squirming.

James looked up at him in surprise, an irresistible, lazy grin sliding up his face, and Sirius’ heart started pounding in his chest.

He noticed the stubble on James’ jaw and reached his hand up, running his fingertips over it, and feeling the sensation go straight to his groin.

_Merlin…_

James just closed his eyes and sighed, leaning into his hand. “Don’t stop,” he murmured, his voice thick with possibilities.

Sirius swallowed hard. “I have to,” he said in a strangled voice, “…or else I’m gonna have a problem…”

James’ eyes snapped up to his, and yes, he felt that in his groin, too.

_Jesus Christ…_

“Oh.”

“Yeah…”

  
***

~J~

James bounded through the hospital doors before Quidditch practice and made a b-line straight fir Sirius’ bed; he couldn’t wait to see him again. The curtains were shut and he whipped them back dramatically, hoping Sirius would get a kick out of it, but what he wasn’t expecting to see was an _empty bed_.

His heart came to a screeching halt as his nightmare flashed before his eyes.

He frantically looked around the room.

 _All_ the beds were empty.

“Wha—“ he started to say, but there was no one to hear him.

And then he heard a sound and whipped around.

It was Madam Pomfrey, pushing a medicine cart.

“Potter? What are you doing here?”

“Sirius?” he breathed.

“I sent him up to his room,” she said, furrowing her brows.

James’ shoulders slumped with relief and he sat down on the bed, sighing deeply.

_Oh, thank god._

“Dear? Are you sick, too?”

“Um, no,” he replied, swallowing hard. “Just surprised…I thought he’d be here.”

“Well, he was feeling much perkier and said he wanted to rest in his own bed.”

“Good…good…that’s good.”

“Wait here, dear, and let me get you some tonic. You look a bit peaky.”

James nearly crumpled in a ball on the bed, his heart still pounding wildly.

_Goddamn it, Sirius! You’re gonna bloody kill me!_

“Here,” Madam Pomfrey said, holding a spoon up to his mouth full of lime-green goo. “It will boost your immune system.”

“If you say so,” he sighed before she promptly shoved it in his mouth. He winced and forced himself to swallow it down. If he’d ever eaten a _Flobberworm_ in his life, he’d imagine it would taste just like _that_.

_Bloody disgusting._

“That’s a good chap.”

“Well, thanks!” he said, before jumping up and rushing out of the room, suddenly full of adrenaline. He ran all the way up to his bedroom and threw open the door, panting.

And his heart swelled to capacity when he saw Sirius, lying on his bed, fast asleep.

Unable to stand it, he walked forward and quietly hovered over him, checking to see that he was still breathing.

Sirius’ eyes fluttered open and then he frowned.

“Love, why are you so sweaty?”

“I ran here...” James panted, “from the hospital…saw the empty bed…was scared out of my damn mind…”

“Oh, love, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to do that. I thought you’d be chuffed I moved back to my own bed.”

“I am! I just thought…you had _died_ …”

“James! Get this ridiculous notion out of your head…I’m _not_ going anywhere.”

James took a deep inhale and relaxed.

“Now give me a kiss and go to practice—try to work off some of your nonsensical anxiety.”

James wiped the sweat off his upper lip and then leaned down and kissed his forehead, his legs nearly giving out from just the smell of him.

“On my _lips_ , if you please,” Sirius muttered.

James grinned with surprise, positively _thrilled_ to hear him being so bossy again.

He eagerly kissed his mouth, nearly groaning from the heavenly sensation, and then he pulled back and stared in his eyes. “Wait to shower with me tonight, okay?”

“Okay,” Sirius breathed, his blue eyes wide.

  
***

~J~

After surviving a lackluster practice (because nothing was as _fun_ without Sirius) James returned to their room and found him sleeping peacefully.

He hated to wake him but he _really_ needed to take a shower. He was covered in sweat from head to toe and couldn’t stop shivering.

“Babe?” he whispered.

Sirius stirred and opened his eyes, a smile already sliding up his perfect face. “I was dreaming of you,” he murmured.

James’ heart beat faster. “Really? What about?”

“Mmm, we were walking in a garden somewhere…a _rose_ garden…and the sun was setting, giving everything this strange, _orangey_ tint…You were in your white satin suit and I was…well…and then I woke up…” he said, clearly not giving the whole story.

James smiled at him wistfully. “Maybe one day we can make that dream a reality.”

“Mmm.”

“But for now, you can have me...and _roses_.”

He pointed to a large vase of red roses on Sirius’ nightstand. “I see you got my flowers.”

“Yes, I did,” Sirius grinned. “You really outdid yourself.”

“Did you like the card?”

“Of course!” Sirius said, raking his hair back, his eyes shining, “To my Constant Star”…How could I not get weak in the knees over that?”

James chuckled and grinned broadly, so proud of himself. “Well you are you know…my _constant star_.” He cleared his throat, feeling his emotions rise to the surface, “When everything else is fucked up, there’s always one thing I’m sure of…and it’s _you_.”

Sirius stared at him with his mouth slightly open, his blue eyes starting to fill with water. “Love,” he whispered, and then he took James’ hand and tenderly kissed the palm before pressing it to the side of his face, his bottom lip starting to tremble as he did.

_Oh, hell no._

In an instant, James lunged forward and grasped hold of his face, trying his best to be as gentle as possible whilst also containing the raging fire now pumping through his veins; he pressed their lips together and kissed him urgently, _desperately_ , completely forgetting himself.

All that existed was that mouth…that heart. And they both belonged to him.

_Mine._

Sirius clasped onto his wrists as he held his face and kissed him back just as hungrily, straining for more.

The door creaked open and they both looked up.

It was Remus.

“Oh, um…I’ll just come back later.”

“No, it’s okay, mate,” Sirius said, leaning back on his pillows, trying to catch his breath. “You can come in.”

Remus shut the door with a click and stared between them, his cheeks flushing pink. “Are…are you feeling better?” he asked, scratching the back of his neck and flicking his eyes to the floor.

“Much!” Sirius replied. “James was just about to take me to the showers. I probably smell as foul as that potion Madam Pomfrey kept shoving down my throat.”

“You do _not_!” James exclaimed.

“Well, I _feel_ like I should.”

James made a face at him.

“Remus, do you think you can get the door, please?” he asked, standing up.

“Sure!”

He scooped Sirius up off the bed and proceeded to carry him out the door like a bride, nodding at Remus as he passed by.

“I think I can walk now,” Sirius said squirming in his arms.

“Oh, no you don’t. I’m carrying you for as long as I bloody can.”

Sirius just snorted and shook his head.

Thank Merlin the loo was empty when they got there; everyone was already down in the Great Hall for supper.

“This really is becoming a thing, innit?”

“What? Me manhandling you in the shower?” James asked with a wide grin whilst undoing the draw-string on Sirius’ pants.

“Dressing, undressing, washing, feeding…Christ, I’m starting to feel like a child.”

“ _My_ child,” James quipped.

“God,” Sirius groaned, rolling his eyes.

James grabbed the hem of his thermal and pulled it over his head. “And I’m gonna scrub you clean.”

Sirius just stood there in his skivvies and shivered.

“And give you the blowjob you _deserve_ ,” James said, his eyes turning dark as he rested his elbows on his knees and stared up at him. “I want you in my mouth... _all_ the fucking time.”

Sirius stared down at him, visibly shocked, and took a shaky inhale.

James smirked and stood back up, pulling his own shirt off and tossing it to the floor, then he slid down his pants.

And Sirius just watched him, his blue eyes round.

“I’m gonna do you proper and then tuck you in bed, you understand?”

Sirius’ mouth fell open slightly and then he nodded.

James promptly slid his own briefs down and tossed them aside, and then he gripped Sirius by the shoulders and moved him, propping him against the wall whilst he turned on the hot water and let the shower stall fill with steam.

“And I don’t care who hears,” he said, moving forward and hooking his fingers into the waistband of Sirius’ briefs, yanking them down with a flourish.

And there was fire in his eyes when he looked up at him and licked his lips.

Sirius shuddered and swallowed hard, closing his eyes.

James swiftly stood up and pressed himself against his naked body, gasping when he felt Sirius’ hard cock pressing into his stomach.

_Dear god…_

He leaned his face down and nipped Sirius’ bottom lip, his entire body catching fire as he did. And then he went for his mouth, unable to suppress the noise that welled up in his chest. Sirius’ greedy, hot lips, his probing tongue…his fucking cock! It was all too much.

He went for his throat and sucked wet, ravenous kisses all the way down to his collar bone, feeling his own dick come to life. Sirius arched into him and made a noise that lit his blood on fire.

_Mother of Merlin!_

He quickly slid down his body and dropped to his knees, the water pouring over them, urging him on. He clasped onto his upper thighs, practically wrapping his hands all the way around them, and pulled him forward, thrusting his perfect dick into his open mouth.

And _god_ …he’d never felt anything so good. Tasted anything so sweet.

And the look on Sirius’ face.

_Jesus Christ._

His dark brows were furrowed with pleasure and his eyes clamped shut…his mouth opening wider as he raked his fingers back through his dripping wet hair...

_Fucking hell._

James increased his rhythm, bobbing his head up and down, sliding his tongue along his length as he did and pausing just long enough to suck his head with a fervor, just like he deserved. 

Sirius pounded a fist on the tile wall and moaned loudly, the sound making James go into a frenzy.

“James,” he panted. “James…”

James sucked him even harder, swirling his tongue around his shaft and lightly dragging his teeth down to his head.

“Fuck!” Sirius yelped, arching his body, and finally starting to release.

James clasped onto his hips, holding him steady, and pressing him against the wall as he eagerly drank up every last drop of him, until Sirius’ legs gave out from exhaustion and he started to slide down to the floor.

He quickly caught him under the arms and pulled him back up again, sliding his knee between his legs for support and holding him against the wall. “Up you go, baby,” he rasped out, leaning his head against the side of Sirius’ face and panting.

“God, James…” Sirius breathed, still trying to catch his breath.

But James kept his focus.

Next, he moved them under the running water and proceeded to shampoo Sirius’ hair and scrub his body with soap and a sponge, but then he couldn’t resist kissing his cheek and then his shoulders, and then his chest, and any piece of naked skin he could get his lips on. His own cock was throbbing for attention but he didn’t care.

Sirius was his main priority.

“Now, it’s your turn,” Sirius slurred, running his hands down his abs and resting them on his hips, which he grasped hold of and squeezed.

And James nearly passed out yet again.

_Stay focused…_

“No, babe. You need to rest,” he said.

“But I _want_ to…”

James huffed and pursed his lips.

“Here,” he said, pressing Sirius down onto the bench seat and directing the hot water onto him so he’d stay warm; he leaned him against the wall and tilted his head back, so he could see what he was about to do.

_Here goes…_

And then he proceeded to grip his own cock in his wet hand and pump it up and down ferociously, never taking his eyes off him.

***

~S~

Sirius’ eyes flew open and his jaw dropped to the floor.

James fucking Potter was standing naked in front of him, pumping his swollen cock with zeal.

And he didn’t know how to react.

All he could do was gawk.

He was struck dumb.

But he couldn’t look away.

Never fucking wanted to.

_Holy mother of all things merciful._

It was a sight he never could have been prepared for…and now never wanted to live without.

James fucking Potter getting himself off right in front of him… _for_ him.

_Fuck._

A wicked smile crossed James’ face as he pumped himself, his wet, slick hand sliding up and down his swollen dick, making a slapping noise that would make even angles cry. And then a look of pain crossed his gorgeous face, his mouth falling open and his eyes closing, as he began to pump harder and harder until he was hunched over and ejaculating all over the shower wall.

And Sirius just gaped at him, utterly speechless.

_Oh. My. God._

Finally, James stood back up and moved under the shower, closing his eyes and turning his face up into the water.

And Sirius had never seen anything more glorious in his entire life.

He truly was a Greek god.

_Adonis in the flesh._

James opened his eyes and stared down at him, the water running over his plush lips and into his open mouth and down his throat and over his flexed pecs...

“Ready for bed now?”

“Y-yeah,” Sirius managed to get out, feeling like he was burning alive, but in a _good_ way.

_The best fucking way possible._

“Enjoy the show?”

“I’ll remember it for as long as I live,” he breathed.

***

~J~

James meticulously dried Sirius off and dressed him in his pajamas and was just carrying him out the door when he nearly collided with a very surprised Frank Longbottom.

“Oh! Erm, he’s still sick!” James yelped. “Weak in the knees, you know…”

“Oh,” was all Frank said, a shocked look on his face.

“Right, well…” James muttered, shoving past him and feeling his face flush.

_Bloody hell._

_I’m sure that didn’t look suspicious at all._

After making it back to the room he gently laid Sirius down on his own bed and pulled the covers up to his chin.

“Do you need anything else?”

“Jus’ you,” Sirius said with a big yawn.

James yawned, too, and then smiled sleepily. “Are you hungry?”

“No, you fed me plenty at lunch…” Sirius trailed off, his eyelids drooping.

“Well then it’s early to bed and by tomorrow you should be nearly back to normal…Not that I want to quit taking care of you, though,” James said with a frown, his eyes glazing over. “Actually, maybe you should stay sick for at least one more day...” He smiled and looked back up at Sirius.

But Sirius was already fast asleep, breathing deeply and looking irresistible as usual.

“Love you,” James said, leaning down and kissing his temple, his heart aching, and then he reluctantly shut the curtains and shuffled over to his own bed.

Remus and Peter suddenly entered the room, looking him up and down, clearly surprised to see him already dressed in his night clothes.

“You not eating?” Remus asked.

“No, I’m fine,” James said, grabbing a Pumpkin Pasty off his nightstand and holding it up. He flicked his eyes to Sirius’ four-poster and bit his lip. “But hey, Sirius is asleep,” he said more quietly, “and I was wondering…if it wouldn’t be too weird…if I maybe... _slept_ with him tonight? You know, because he’s been sick and all…and I swear, no _funny business_ …”

He doubted they’d go for it, but it was worth a try. Any reason to be closer to Sirius was _worth a bloody try_.

Remus sighed and shrugged his shoulders. “It’s fine by me.”

“Really?”

“Yeah, why not?”

James looked to Peter, “And you? Are you okay with it?”

“Yeah, I guess so,” Peter said with a slight grimace, wrinkling his nose.

“Brilliant! Oh, thank you!” he said, rushing back over to Sirius’ bed and literally flinging himself right through the curtains, not giving a damn how ridiculous he looked.

“Baby, I’m gonna sleep with you tonight!” he whispered giddily. “Moony and Wormtail said it was okay! Can you believe it?”

Sirius mumbled something unintelligible and just rolled to his side, as if waiting to be spooned.

A thrill went up James’ spine. He grinned and quickly pulled back the covers and slid underneath them, pressing his chest against Sirius’ warm back, and reminding his cock that there would be absolutely no _funny business,_ no matter how much he _craved_ it.

He wrapped his arms around Sirius from behind, pulling him snug against his body and right where he belonged, and then he did his absolute favorite thing in the entire world and deeply inhaled the back of his neck, burying his nose in his soft, clean smelling hair and instantly melting into the bed, feeling all of his cares slip away.

_We made it, babe._

_Everything is okay._

***

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 😍🦌🚿🐺🧼✨🎉
> 
> Is James not the sweetest?! And that steamy shower scene! Ahhhhh!🔥😱🚿😍🔥


	39. I've Got Your Back

***

~J~

The next morning James woke to find Sirius snuggled against his chest, breathing deeply and warm as toast, but not in fact, as _hot as the_ _damn_ _sun._

 _Thank_ _god_.

He smiled to himself and rolled to his back, his right arm still wedged tightly under Sirius’ body. He stared up at the maroon canopy and blinked, his heart fit to burst.

 _Finally_ , he spent the entire night in bed with Sirius… _finally_ they were able to be together without the fear of being caught…and he still wasn’t sure if it would be a regular thing, but he would take what he could get, even if just for one night. This was a start at least and hopefully Moony and Wormtail would continue to be more accommodating as time went on.

Sirius stirred in his sleep and muttered something and James turned his head and watched him, his mind drifting to the Quidditch match they would be playing against Slytherin that weekend. He seriously doubted that Sirius would be strong enough to participate, and he would rather not risk his health, but he also desperately needed him as his partner. Together, they were unstoppable.

Sirius grunted and slowly began to wake, his long black lashes fluttering against his cheekbones. “Love?” he said in a raspy, needy voice that made James smile and inhale deeply.

“I’m here.”

“Mmm,” Sirius noised, blinking his eyes open. “What are you thinking about?” he asked sleepily, propping his head on James’ bicep and running his fingertip along his jaw.

_Sweet Jesus…_

“You.”

“Me?”

“Yeah, what else?” James replied, resting his hand gently on the side of his face and rubbing his thumb back and forth under his eye.

Sirius’ perfect cheekbone warmed considerably under his touch, his sleepy eyes holding his gaze.

“What about me?”

James exhaled, suddenly bracing himself, “Well, I just don’t want you to overexert yourself this week…and…I think the Quidditch match will be _too much_ for you…”

“What?! I’m _playing_!”

“Babe, you _know_ how taxing and violent it is…and you’ve not got your full strength back yet…”

“It’s just Tuesday and we have til Saturday!” Sirius protested, his brows furrowing deeply in the middle and his lips pursing.

And James wanted to laugh at the adorable look on his face. No one should look that bloody _cute_ whilst annoyed. “Well, we’ll just have to wait and see…I just don’t want you to get hurt.”

“I know,” Sirius huffed, running his fingertips down to his throat, “but I’m not as _weak_ as you take me for.”

“Hey! I never said you were _weak_!” James hissed.

Sirius averted his eyes, a sadness falling over him.

“Hey, look at me,” James said, grasping hold of his chin and tilting his face up.

Sirius stared at him.

“Are you listening?” he asked sternly.

Sirius nodded.

“You’re the _bravest_ person I’ve ever known…and just because your body is sick or tired, or whatever, it does _not_ make you _weak_ …And besides, you have no idea how good and useful it makes me feel to _take care of you_ …So please, don’t take that away from me; don’t make me feel like it means nothing or it’s a hassle…Because caring about your well-being means more to me than anything else…” He paused and then cleared his throat, “And these past few days I’ve come to realize something,” he said softly, his eyes growing moist, “I didn’t think it was possible to love someone so much, and then more and more each day…But loving you has proven me wrong. There’s nothing more important and there never will be.”

They just stared at each other for a beat, James’ heart pounding.

“Are you done?” Sirius croaked, his blue eyes now glassy.

“Maybe,” James said sheepishly, suddenly feeling embarrassed for his passionate tirade. He quickly averted his eyes.

Sirius cleared his throat, “Don’t ever think that I don’t appreciate _every_ _single thing_ you do for me…Because I _do_. It’s just that I have to literally pinch myself that you return my _feelings_ , much less _want_ to take care of me and make bold declarations of eternal love,” he said with a chuckle. James looked up at him and smirked. “I feel the _exact_ same way about _you_ …” Sirius continued, “and I would do the same…It’s just hard to see you inconvenienced because of _me_ , or exhausted because of _me_ …And it makes me feel helpless, which I bloody _hate_. I don’t ever want to be a burden…so just bear with me…” he sighed. “And honestly, I’m just not used to being _loved_ …” he said, his face scrunching in pain.

James inhaled sharply, feeling his heart clench in his chest. He gripped hold of Sirius’ bicep, pulling him closer, until their lips were just inches apart, “Baby,” he crooned, and then leaned forward and kissed his mouth, first lightly, and then more passionately, a surge of warmth shooting straight up his spine and filling his head with candy floss. Sirius opened for him and went limp in his arms, trailing his fingers lightly, but relentlessly, over his face and down his throat.

_God…_

James’ heart throbbed and he pulled back to stare in his eyes—two familiar, sapphire pools of blue he could happily drown in. He swallowed the lump in his throat and licked his lips, “Will you let me love you? Will you let me spend the rest of my days giving you the kind of love you’ve always deserved?”

Sirius gaped at him, his eyes widening to capacity and his mouth falling open.

“Yes,” he finally rasped out, a look of wonder crossing his face.

A grin shot across James’ face like lightening.

“How is that for a _bold_ _declaration of eternal love_?”

“Bloody _perfect_ ,” Sirius grinned, pressing his shoulders back into the pillows with force and climbing over top him, straddling his stomach like he owned it.

Needless to say, they skipped breakfast, _and_ their first lesson of the day.

***

~S~

“You better slow down or you’re gonna make yourself sick!” Remus hissed as he watched Sirius shove an entire bread roll into his mouth.

“M’hungry,” Sirius mumbled, glancing sideways and shooting a grin at James.

“Well, maybe if you didn’t _skip breakfast_ , you wouldn’t be!” Peter said chiming in, a look of disdain on his ratty face.

Sirius just rolled his eyes and gulped down a glass of pumpkin juice, so bloody grateful to have an appetite again.

“So what’d we miss in Transfiguration?” James asked, shoving a boiled potato in his mouth.

“Not much,” Remus replied, quickly shooting a glance towards Lily at the end of the table.

“What he _means_ to say,” Peter said shrewdly, “is that Lily was able to perfectly turn a spoon into a ruby encrusted goblet and McGonagall gushed over her the entire class.”

Remus glared pointedly at him.

“Sounds like we didn’t miss much then,” Sirius scowled before taking a bite of his pie.

James chuckled and gripped his thigh under the table.

“Well, Remus didn’t mind ogling her the entire time,” Peter hissed.

“Peter, _shut up_! What are you getting at?” Remus hissed.

“Nothing!” Peter barked, jumping up from the table and leaving in a huff.

“Bee in his bonnet,” James muttered.

“He’s just jealous,” Sirius said.

“Of what?” Remus asked over his pumpkin juice.

“Of the fact that we all have _options_ and he’ll never have any,” Sirius said chuckling to himself.

“Options?” James asked smugly as he turned to face him with a cocked eyebrow.

“Well, I just mean, uh…we have each other…and _Remus_ has options.”

“That’s better,” James said.

“ _Matilda Pennyworth_ is not really what I’d call an _option_ ,” Remus said forlornly. “More like a _last resort_.” He rested his chin in his hands and stared wistfully at Lily again.

James and Sirius just sighed and shook their heads.

~~~

Sirius went ahead and suited up for Quidditch practice, deciding the least he could do was watch, or do a few fly arounds on his broom, even though James made it _very_ clear that he wanted him to sit this one out.

“Ready, James?” Nathanial Gillingham, Sirius’ Chaser alternate asked, as they stood on the field.

James darted his eyes to Sirius who was just standing there, clutching his broom, looking like a bloody tosser and feeling uncomfortable.

“Yeah, sure,” he said hesitantly. “Um, Sirius is that okay?” he asked quietly, leaning towards him.

“Sure,” Sirius replied, swallowing hard and averting his eyes. “I’ll just do a few fly arounds and see how I feel.”

“Good,” James said with a smile. “We’re just gonna practice some of those new, difficult maneuvers…”

“Right,” Sirius said sadly, thinking of how _he and James_ were supposed to be the ones practicing the moves together. They were _his_ idea after all; he’d learned about them in James’ _Quidditch Monthly_ magazine.

James nodded to Nathanial and then they both kicked off from the ground, leaving him behind.

Sirius toed the snow covered grass and sighed.

And then he realized his arm was sore just from holding his broom. “Bloody brilliant,” he muttered. He put his broom between his legs and kicked off, staying fairly close to the ground. He zoomed around a few times and suddenly felt overly-hot and tired.

He landed back in the middle of the pitch and rolled his shoulders several times, surprised by how sore and achy he felt.

_Maybe I’m not as well as I’d thought…bugger._

He decided to go and sit in the stands with Peter.

“Still sick?” Peter asked, narrowing his eyes at him as he trudged up the steps feeling like death and probably looking like it, too.

“No!” he barked, “Jus’ don’t wanna overdo it my first day back.”

“Right,” Peter muttered.

“Get off it Peter. You’ve been a right foul git these past few days.”

“Well, _excuse_ me!” Peter snapped.

“No, I won’t. Just stop being such a cocknose.”

“Arsebadger!”

“What?”

“You heard me!”

“Where in the bloody hell did you hear that?”

“Isn’t that what they call your _type_?”

“My _type_?” Sirius hissed, turning towards him and narrowing his eyes. “What the fuck are you talking about?”

“Nothing,” Peter said, crossing his arms and staring up at the Quidditch practice taking place over their heads.

“Look, if you’re mad about me and James—I can’t help you. It is what it is...and just because you don’t understand something doesn’t mean you have to be an arsehole about it. You’ve had a bad attitude for months and, frankly, I’m not sure why we even put up with you.”

“Well then maybe you shouldn’t!” Peter screeched as he jumped up and stomped away, nearly tripping over his own two feet and toppling down the stairs.

Sirius rubbed his eyes and rested his head in his hands, exhausted in more ways than one.

“Padfoot!”

He nearly jumped off the bench.

James was hovering a few feet above him, frowning.

“What’s wrong?”

“Oh, it’s just Peter…he was being an arse…”

“Are you okay?” he asked, worry flashing in his green eyes.

“Yeah, just tired.”

“Why don’t you go rest and I’ll come find you after?”

“No, I’ll stay.”

“Okay,” he sighed heavily.

“How’s Nathanial handling the new moves?” Sirius asked.

“Not nearly as good as you,” James said smugly. “But then again, not everyone has your agility…or your _arse_ …”

Sirius chuckled and shook his head. “Practice! You can have my _arse_ later…”

“Is that a promise?”

“Yes,” Sirius hissed whilst going red and fiddling with the tassel on his scarf.

“I’ll hold you to it!” James said before rising up and away, a huge grin plastered on his face.

***

~S~

Sirius continued to get his strength back as the week went on, but he knew in his heart that he wouldn’t be fit enough to play in the Quidditch match on Saturday. It would be the first one that he’d ever missed and he was starting to get more and more depressed the closer it got, no matter how much James tried to cheer him up— _“Chocolate frog?”, “Wizard’s Chess?”, “A blowjob!?”_

He just hated the idea of James playing with anyone else but him.

“Babe, _cheer up_ —you’re bloody killing me!” James said as they made their way down to the Quidditch field the day before the match.

Sirius huffed and shrugged his shoulders.

“Look, what if I gave you a surprise after the match to make up for it?”

“Like what?”

“Like me in that satin suit.”

Sirius couldn’t help but grin. “You know everyone is still talking about that thing?”

“Yeah, I’ve overheard a few conversations…” James sighed, rolling his eyes.

“I think all the girls _and boys_ at Hogwarts want you now…”

“Well, I think we can at least exclude Moony and Wormtail from that list,” James quipped, elbowing him in the side.

“True, but definitely not _Slughorn_ ,” Sirius muttered. “I wouldn’t be surprised if he didn’t go _buy_ a satin suit to match.”

“Bleh. Can you imagine?”

“I wouldn’t _want_ to!” Sirius laughed.

When they arrived at the locker rooms James stopped in front of the doors and stared down at him. “Look, we’ll still be able to play together in the matches that really count…so don’t let this one get you down…”

“But who’s gonna have your back?” Sirius asked, his heart clenching in his chest.

James swallowed hard and moved towards him, “ _You_ will…always. Whether on the ground or in the air…”

Sirius frowned and stared down at his boots, still not feeling very convinced. Any match James played without him was one too many.

“Forget my back,” James said, resting his large hand atop his shoulder and squeezing, “you have my _heart_.”

Sirius whipped his head up at that and grinned. “Aw, love…”

“I know, I know, I’m a sop.”

“But you’re _my_ sop,” Sirius crooned as he clutched hold of his jacket and pressed up on his tip-toes, going straight for his mouth.

But then Frank Longbottom bounded around the corner—the cockblocker!—and they both jumped apart.

“Hey, lads! Ready for practice!”

“Yep!” Sirius croaked.

“Absolutely!” James said.

***

~S~

  
It was finally game day.

The team met in the locker rooms before breakfast to get suited up and go over the plays one more time, and Sirius got dressed along with them, even though he’d be spending the game on the bench.

Before he pulled his jersey all the way down, he made sure that James caught sight of the constellation pin that he’d fastened to his undershirt for good luck.

James grinned broadly and shot him a wink that could melt butter.

Sirius flushed and swallowed hard, flicking his eyes to the ground.

“Still got a fever, eh?” Remus whispered by his ear as he sat down next to him on the bench.

“Right,” Sirius replied, rubbing at his cheeks and cursing his pale skin.

After the quick run-through they all made their way into the Great Hall for breakfast, and even though Sirius wouldn’t be playing, his stomach was still doing flip-flops and twisting itself into a knot. James shoved a plump cinnamon bun at him. “Here, babe, you need to eat,” he whispered.

“M’fine,” Sirius muttered, feeling green behind the gills.

“No, _eat_.”

“Oh, alright,” he huffed. “But you need too as well, you’re the one who’s _actually playing_.”

“I am!” James hissed as he took a ridiculously large bite of his gooey bun, dribbling icy out the side of his mouth.

And Sirius just stared at him in awe. “I never understood how you could eat so bloody much on game day…”

“Big appetite,” James said, raising his eyebrows several times and licking the icing seductively off his lips.

Sirius barked out a laugh and then shut his mouth, noticing the attention they’d suddenly drawn. He focused on gulping down his pumpkin juice instead.

After breakfast, they all headed _back_ to the locker rooms and went over the same plays again; James was nothing if not _thorough_ in his coaching. Sirius sat on the bench and watched him smugly, admiring his every move; the flex of his biceps as he animatedly talked; the way he swallowed and licked his lips…

Sirius suddenly started feeling very warm and had to fan his shirt several times; the layers of padding only adding to his uncomfortableness. 

James caught his eye and grinned crookedly before turning his attention back to the blackboard.

“Alright, ready team?”

“Ready!” they all yelled in unison.

“Get your things and let’s head out!” James said with shining eyes, but then he hung back for a moment and went straight to Sirius.

“You okay?” he asked.

“Yeah. Just… _good luck_ ,” Sirius said with a shrug.

James frowned and gripped the sides of his shoulders. “It won’t be the same without you—I _promise_ —but I’ll give it everything I have… _for_ you.”

“I know,” Sirius sighed, suddenly feeling strangled.

“And after this is over, I’ll give you the best goddamn blowjob of your life,” James mouthed, so only he could read his lips.

Sirius threw his head back at that and laughed heartily, “Alright, alright Prongs, just get out there and win…for _me_ ,” he said, resting his hand atop his bicep.

“Will do,” James said with a wink as he squeezed his shoulders one last time.

And Sirius’ heart ached fiercely for him; he wished they could just ditch the game and go sit by the fire, wrap up in a blanket and snog the day away.

But alas, duty called.

The crowds were chanting as they walked out onto the pitch. Half of the stands were painted in Gryffindor crimson and gold and the other half, Slytherin green and silver.

The Slytherin team walked out to greet them, though certainly not in a _friendly_ way; they wore nasty scowls on their pointy, snobbish faces and had their arms crossed over their puffed up chests.

And Sirius was trying to hang back since he wouldn’t actually be playing, but James grabbed him by the forearm and tugged him forward firmly, so they were standing side by side like normal.

He stood with his feet planted apart and his arms crossed in front of himself whilst holding onto his broom, keeping his face stony and his shoulders back. James had always impressed upon him the importance of appearing intimidating and unfazed to their opponents before they’d even taken to the air.

But unfortunately, Slytherin had pretty much mastered the art.

He stared across the way and suddenly noticed Regulus, glaring at him from the back of the group, his face impassive and his black eyes full of hate, or at least that’s how it _seemed,_ and Sirius wondered if he’d actually be playing in the game. And a very _small_ part of him wondered if Regulus knew he’d been very sick...

Madam Hooch walked onto the field and announced the beginning of the match.

James shook hands with the Slytherin captain, Greggory Goyle, who seemed hell-bent on crushing his hand, but he did a good job of hiding the fact that he was in pain; Sirius could only tell due to the subtle way his body tensed. His heart started beating faster as he watched them, anger surging through his veins, and then they finally released hands and stepped back.

James turned to stare at him one last time and slid his broom between his legs.

Sirius just smiled back sadly and walked off the field with the rest of the alternates, his head hanging low.

A shrill whistle rang through the stadium and the players were suddenly kicking off from the ground and soaring high above, anticipating the release of the balls.

Madam Hooch pointed her wand at the crimson metal trunk in the middle of the field and the lid popped open; the Quaffle, Bludgers, and Snitch all shooting into the air.

The stands went wild as the players started zipping around.

But Sirius never took his eyes off James.

Remus, James, and Nathanial quickly gained possession of the Quaffle and were tossing it back and forth, nearly at the goal posts, but a Slytherin Chaser suddenly appeared and rammed his body into James’ side, nearly knocking him off his broom. The Gryffindor crowd gasped whilst the Slytherin’s cheered, and Sirius’ heart stopped.

Instantly, James righted himself and sped after the Slytherin who’d just snatched the Quaffle away from him. And Sirius dug his hands into his hair and watched in horror as that very same Slytherin scored their first goal.

That never should have happened. Where was Nathanial and why didn’t he have James’ back?!

_Bloody hell!_

Sirius’ blood started boiling.

Nathanial never should have let another player get close enough to James to actually knock him off his broom!

_Good god!_

Sirius suddenly realized he was standing up and quickly sat back down, digging his fingers anxiously into his thighs.

 _He_ should be the one watching out for James...

Clearly, no one else was capable.

***


	40. A Penchant For Bruises

***

~J~

James was already feeling Sirius’ absence by his side.

Sirius had _always_ been there...blocking any attempts at him, warding off any threat...and he just hadn’t realized _how much so_ until he was pummeled several more times, the wind almost completely knocked out of him. Remus and Nathanial were always too busy keeping track of the Quaffle…

And suddenly, with a burning heart, he realized that Sirius had always been keeping track of _him_.

Sirius never let another player even get near him, and that’s why he always had more time to score...

_Merlin…I’ve been such a bloody prick…He’s the reason I make so many damn goals..._

“James!” Remus yelled.

He snapped back to reality just in time to swerve out of the path of a rogue Bludger, nearly colliding with his face. “Bloody hell,” he muttered before zooming over to Remus.

“Pay attention, mate!” Remus yelled with an exasperated expression.

James shook his head as they both zoomed off after the Slytherin Chasers who had just scored another goal. He shot a glance down at the stands and immediately saw Sirius, staring up at him and biting his nails with worry.

_Shit._

James clenched his jaw and rushed towards the sickeningly-smug Slytherins, hovering close to his Shooting Star broom and making it go as fast as possible. He deftly snatched the Quaffle right out of Greggory Goyle’s meaty hand, turned abruptly, and flew back to the Slytherin goal posts with an entire fleet of Slytherins now hot on his tail. He didn’t dare look back but kept going until he’d flung the Quaffle right through the highest golden hoop with all his might.

A bell dung and the Gryffindor stands went wild and suddenly Remus and Nathanial were there, whacking him on the back excitedly—though he had no idea what part they’d played in it; they were nowhere to be found when he’d _needed_ them.

A sharp pain suddenly shot through both his arms. He felt like he’d been bludgeoned repeatedly from all the purposeful hits he’d received from the Slytherins. He knew he’d be covered in bruises.

Deciding they needed to re-group, he called for a time-out, but mainly, he just wanted to be close to _Sirius_ again.

“Remus, Nathanial—I need you two to have my back! Like we’ve practiced!” he barked as soon as his feet touched the ground; he shot a glance at Sirius and suddenly felt very warm.

“We’re _trying_!” Remus yelled, wiping the sweat off his forehead with his gloved hand, “But Slytherin is playing dirty and it’s all we can do to even get near you…”

“Well, just _try_!” he pleaded. “I’ve got the fastest goddamn broom out there—I just need the fucking Quaffle!”

“Okay!” Nathanial squeaked, his eyes going wide.

James pursed his lips and stared at the gangly, red-headed fifth year for a beat; he didn’t have much skill, but at least he _tried_.

Clearly no one could compare to Sirius.

“Now we can do this!” James yelled, trying to be more positive. “Just cover my back!” He looked to Sirius who just smiled encouragingly, his eyes shining and urging him on, giving him the last bit of strength he needed.

_I’ll win it for him…_

Madam Hooch blew her whistle and they all kicked off the ground.

And James found himself face to face with Vincent Crabbe; a boy who looked more mountain troll than human. “I heard you wore a _satin suit_ to the dance,” the boy sneered.

James ground his teeth.

“Sounds like a _pansy_ to me!” Gregory Goyle yelled before smashing into James’ side and nearly knocking him off his broom.

“I’ll show you _pansy_!” James growled, leaning down on his broom and out-racing the lot of them. He caught the Quaffle mid-air and threw it to Remus, who threw it to Nathanial who then threw it back to James, who raced down the length of the field and flung it right towards the golden hoops, scoring a goal.

The bell dung and the Gryffindor stands went wild.

And just as he was turning round to celebrate his victory, a force like a boulder hit him square in the stomach, causing him to fall backwards and right off his broom; his outstretched hands groping for air as he fell down…down…down…

  
***

~S~

  
In a flash, Sirius hopped over the players box and sprinted out onto the field; he whipped out his wand bellowing, “STUPIFY!” with all his might, just seconds before James’ body collided with the unforgiving earth.

James stopped with a violent jerk and hovered above the ground whilst Sirius ran towards him, not caring if he was breaking a hundred school rules.

He kept his wand pointed unwaveringly at James, and then slowly lowered his body onto the pitch.

“James!” he screamed, falling to his knees beside him and grasping hold of his shoulders.

But he appeared to be unconscious.

Madam Hooch ran over to where they were.

“Please! He’s hurt!” Sirius yelped.

“Move aside young man and let me see!” She felt James’ pulse and nodded. “He’s just unconscious…We’ll need to get him to the hospital wing immediately.”

And then the Slytherin stands went wild and everyone looked up to see their Seeker, holding the golden snitch in his hand triumphantly, and zooming around the field.

Madam Hooch stood up and blew her whistle again, “Slytherin wins!” she bellowed, holding her wand to her throat.

The Slytherins cheered at their victory but the Gryffindors were more concerned about James. Remus and Nathanial and the rest of the team rushed over to see him.

“What happened?!” Remus asked, gasping for air.

“He was hit by a Bludger and fell off his broom,” Sirius said, still on his knees and clutching onto James’ hand.

“We need to get him to the hospital!” Frank Longbottom yelled. “C’mon, let’s pick him up!”

The team gathered round and hoisted James’ limp body up, and Sirius just watched with glazed over eyes, in too much shock to move.

“C’mon, mate,” Remus said, clutching hold of his arm and pulling him back to reality. “Let’s go.”

  
***

~S~

“What’s this?” Madam Pomfrey asked as she rushed towards them.

“Hit in the stomach with a rogue Bludger and fell off his broom,” Frank said, gently laying James down onto the bed.

Sirius pushed his way through the crowd, desperate to be next to him.

“Bloody Quidditch,” Madam Pomfrey muttered as she started assessing James’ wounds. “Alright, you lot stand back and give me a moment to look him over.” She went to close the curtains and pursed her lips with disdain when she saw Sirius still standing by the bed, unmoving.

“You,” she said.

He just raised his eyebrows and crossed his arms defiantly.

She snapped the curtains shut and shook her head.

“Well, at least help me get his uniform off,” she hissed.

Sirius quickly helped her peel the layers of Quidditch armor off him and when he saw James’ naked torso he gasped; there was a gigantic purple bruise blooming right in the center of his stomach, not to mention all the black and blue bruises snaking up and down his arms.

His stomach lurched and his heart ached and he had to hold back the tears of fury— _never_ in all his years of Quidditch had James come out of a match looking like _that_.

He simply wouldn’t have _allowed_ it.

He never showed James all the beatings he’d taken on his behalf, and he never felt the need to; as long as James was winning and happy, that’s all that mattered.

“Can you give him something for the bruising?” he asked, biting his lip.

“Yes, I have some ointment for that.”

“Good.”

“He appears to have been knocked unconscious from the blunt force of the Bludger,”Madam Pomfrey said. “And you say he didn’t hit the ground, though?”

“Right. I Stupified him before he hit it.”

“Hmm, it’s possible the spell could have also caused him to lose consciousness. Did you use it with much force?”

 _“Did you use it with much force”…_ _How about everything that I fucking am and then some…_

“Yes,” he choked out, remembering how he’d probably used more _force_ with that one spell than any one he’d ever performed in his entire life. It certainly _meant_ the most; it was James’ _life_ at stake for godssakes.

Madam Pomfrey narrowed her eyes at him, “I’ll get some potion for that…” she said, and then started to walk away but then she paused and turned round again. “You two really stick together, don’t you?” she asked, her usually stony face going the softest Sirius had ever seen it.

“Yes…we do,” he replied, suddenly feeling his eyes start to water.

She sniffed once and then slipped out of the curtains.

He scrunched his brows in confusion and then looked back down at James.

_Bloody hell…_

He leaned down and placed his mouth right by his ear, “Love, you’re alright. I’m not leaving you…you’re gonna be okay…” he said, and then he smoothed his sweaty hair back off his forehead and placed a quick kiss in the very center.

“Alright, I’ll give him this for the pain, this for the bruising, and this to bring him back to consciousness,” Madam Pomfrey said as she appeared from behind the curtains again and sat three bottles down on a silver tray.

“Should we completely undress him?” Sirius asked anxiously.

“Yes, we need to get the rest of these heavy, wet clothes off,” she replied.

They stripped him down to his briefs, which made Sirius swallow hard and avert his eyes. He quickly covered him up with the blanket.

Madam Pomfrey poured some goo into James’ mouth and then pulled back the curtains for the rest of the team to see him.

“It may take a bit for him to come round but he should, and then he needs _rest_ ,” she said sternly, eyeing all the sweating, panting Gryffindors as they nodded their heads in agreement.

Remus walked over to Sirius and wrapped his arm around his shoulder, “Looks like the tables have turned, doesn’t it?”

“Yeah, I guess they have,” Sirius said weakly, still holding onto James’ hand.

James stirred and the room went quiet. He blinked his eyes open. “Wha-what happened?” he asked in a raspy voice.

“You got hit with a Bludger and fell off your broom,” Sirius said quietly, as if they were the only two in the room.

“Oh.”

“But you’re gonna be okay, just some bruising…”

“Well, did we at least win?”

Sirius stared at him for a beat and then turned to look at the rest of their teammates, who were staring back at him with grim faces.

“Um, no…” he said, holding his breath. “Slytherin caught the Snitch right after you fell.”

“Oh,” James said, his face falling. He swallowed hard and then winced. 

“He needs water!” Sirius nearly screamed.

Remus grabbed a glass from the tray table and quickly handed it to him, “Thanks,” he said, taking it. He held the glass up to James’ lips and watched as he gulped it down.

Madam Pomfrey appeared again, “Alright, all of you, time to go! I’ve got some more medicine to give him and then he needs _sleep_.”

The team grumbled and huffed in protest and then one by one they walked by and patted James lightly on the leg, telling him to get better and that they’d see him soon.

Remus and Sirius were the last ones left.

“So I guess you’re staying then?” Remus asked.

“Yes.”

“Well, do you need food or clothes or anything?”

Sirius smiled tiredly. “I’m good on clothes, I can just wear this…but I could do with some food, if you wouldn’t mind?”

“Course not!”

“Thanks, mate,” he said, squeezing his shoulder.

He pulled up a chair and sat down, feeling as tired as if he’d just played in the match himself. Casting that strong of spell had really drained him, not to mention just being so active and out in the cold for hours on end.

He stared at James who’d already closed his eyes and drifted back to sleep.

“I won’t leave you, love,” he murmured, bringing James’ hand up to his mouth and kissing the back of it. “I’ll always have your back.”

  
***

~S~

  
That night, they slept together in James’ bed.

Sirius had convinced Madam Pomfrey that James would get much more rest, and therefore _heal_ much quicker, in a place he was actually comfortable in, and much to his amazement, she’d agreed. He was starting to believe that she might actually have a soft spot for them.

James had passed out like a light, smelling like herbs and groaning every time he moved, but Sirius hadn’t cared. Anything to be sharing a bed with him again.

And the next day, Remus was nice enough to give them the room to themselves. Peter was nowhere to be found; ever since his little tiff with Sirius, he’d been keeping his distance.

They woke to find steaming hot cinnamon buns and pumpkin juice on James’ nightstand with a little note from Remus.

“Still can’ believe Remus brought us dis’!” Sirius said with a mouthful.

James chuckled and smiled at him fondly.

“Wha’?”

“Just you.”

“Somethin’ on my face?” Sirius asked slyly as he swallowed and leaned towards him.

“Yeah, a little something…right _there_ ,” James said before licking the spot of icing off his chin and then kissing his lips.

Sirius chuckled and pulled back, holding his hands up, “I’ve got icing all over my hands! I can’t touch you…”

“Baby, you can touch me anywhere, anytime,” James crooned, his green eyes lusty.

_Oh my god._

“Calm down, boy. I think those painkillers have kicked in,” Sirius said with a smirk as he snatched his pumpkin juice off the nightstand and sipped it. “Now eat something!” he barked, handing James a cinnamon bun on a plate.

James just smiled at him and practically swallowed the pastry whole. “I still can’ believe you saved my life…”

“Well, now we’re _even_ ,” Sirius said, squirming and not wanting to re-hash the traumatic event.

“How so?”

“Well, you saved mine when I was sick…”

“ _I’m_ the one that got you sick in the first place!”

“Yeah, but my absence in the game is why you almost _died_ yesterday…”

“Because _I got you sick!”_

Sirius couldn’t help but laugh. “Yeah, I guess you’re right…you really are gonna be the death of me, huh?”

“Hey!” James hissed, tossing his now empty plate aside and lunging towards him, but then stopping abruptly and grunting in pain.

“Oh, love! Is it your bruising?” Sirius asked, resting his hand lightly on his chest.

“Yeah,” James replied, wincing as he leaned back on the pillows, his hair fanning out around his face.

Sirius crawled towards him and hovered over him, his heart beating faster.

James’ eyes were closed and his plush, pink lips were slightly parted whilst his thick eyebrows were scrunched together in pain. Sensing his presence, James’ eyes fluttered open and his face immediately softened. “What?”

“You…you’re just so goddamn _beautiful_ ,” Sirius breathed, a pain shooting through his heart and doubling its speed.

James smiled wistfully and closed his eyes again, clearly knowing what he was about to do.

Sirius leaned down and softly kissed his lips, having to stifle a groan of pleasure.

James tasted like pumpkin spice and _everything nice_ , he thought with a smirk. And then he gently crawled on top of him until he was straddling his hips, and rested his hands lightly on top of his muscular shoulders.

“I’m gonna need more than that,” James murmured.

“Aren’t you in too much pain?” Sirius asked, pulling back to look at him and tucking an unruly curl behind his ear.

“No, please don’t stop,” James protested, sliding his hands up Sirius’ thighs, up the sides of his arms and all the way to his neck, which he gripped onto and pulled him back down again.

“I don’t wanna hurt you.”

“You won’t,” James breathed against his mouth before smashing their lips together and trailing his hands under the back of his thermal, groping at his bare skin.

Sirius shivered and pulled back just long enough to grab the hem of his own shirt and yank it up and over his head. He tossed it to the side and watched in rapture as James’ eyes filled with pleasure; a sexy grin spreading across his gorgeous face as he slid his hands slowly, _covetously_ , up the front of Sirius’ naked torso; James shuddered and bit his lip, his eyes half closing.

_Jesus Christ._

Sirius began to pant as he closed his own eyes, reveling in the feel of James’ large, warm hands trailing up his body. It was simply too much. He leaned down again and kissed him hard, his body catching fire as their tongues clashed together. And then they pulled apart with just as much force, both gasping for air and breathing out of their noses, their nostrils flaring as if they were enraged.

_So it’s gonna be like that, huh?_

_Holy shit._

Sirius lunged for his mouth again, feeling James’ hot, swollen cock pressing into his groin, the heat of it practically leaving a scorch mark.

And he wasn’t sure why, but something about James being hurt and vulnerable made something snap deep inside of him. Something primal. Something voracious. He slid his hands up under the front of James’ shirt whilst still going at his mouth, lightly caressing the bruised skin of his abs with his fingertips.

James flinched slightly under his touch but then relaxed.

“Does it hurt?”

“No, I _like_ it…” James groaned, straining for his mouth again.

_Okay…_

_Holy fucking hell._

Sirius did it again, pushing his shirt up even higher on his chest and trailing his fingertips over the purple bruises, all the way up to James’ erect nipples, which he pinched lightly, feeling the sensation in his own as well.

And _god_ the look on James’ face…

He grabbed the hem of his shirt and carefully pulled it up higher and higher, leaning his face down and trailing little kisses all over his naked abdomen.

“Bloody hell,” James panted, tilting his head back and writhing underneath him whilst licking his lips.

Sirius moved to kiss his mouth one more time before sliding down his body and untying his pajama pants.

“Padfoot,” James murmured, turning his face from side to side.

“I’ve got you, love,” Sirius crooned as he slid his pants down to his ankles and then tossed them aside. He eyed James’ package greedily and then slid his hands up his bruised thighs, right to the bend of his legs and squeezed.

“God…” James groaned, his eyes still scrunched shut and his entire body clenching deliciously.

Sirius smirked and trailed his fingers along the waistband of his briefs, purposefully teasing him.

“Padfoot!”

“Hmm?”

“You’re _torturing_ me!”

“I’m just taking it _slow_ …I don’t wanna overtax you,” Sirius crooned, slipping between his legs and spreading them apart further so he’d have better access.

“By all means, _overtax_ me… _please_ …” James whined, arching up slightly.

“But you’ll tell me if it gets to be too much?”

James lifted his head up and stared down the length of his body at him, his lips pursed in annoyance. “No I will not. There’s nothing you could do to me that would be _too much_ …”

“Are you _sure_ about that?” Sirius purred, leaning his face down and nipping at his cock through his briefs.

James clenched and whimpered.

“Was that a _yes_?”

“Padfoot…” he growled, baring his teeth.

Sirius raised a brow.

James’ tone meant _business._ He promptly hooked his fingers into his briefs and yanked them down with James kicking them off the rest the way, as if they were a Grindylow, ferociously attacking his ankles.

“Have you missed my _mouth_?” Sirius asked, suddenly not sure why he was in such a _playful_ mood…maybe it was because he was finally feeling so much better…or maybe it was because he just relished watching James squirm because of him.

“Yes!” James panted, his thigh muscles clenching and his bruised abs rippling.

“How much?” he asked, trailing his finger slowly down James’ naked cock, and then swirling his fingertip around the head.

“Christ! Like…a _lot_!” James belted.

“Good,” Sirius smirked before stroking him again, this time harder. “You know, I think your cock is the only part of you that isn’t _bruised_ …” he mused.

“Thank _god_ …” James groaned.

Thank god, _indeed_.

Because James’ dick was surely the most perfect one ever created…

Large and strong and supple...

Myths would be written about his perfect appendage...

Hymns recited and battles won…

It had the power to move _nations_.

Sirius almost made himself laugh out loud at his utter ridiculousness.

Yes, he was _definitely_ feeling better.

Either that, or the sight of James’ perfect, pink dick after such a long absence was making him positively loopy.

***

~J~

  
“You _so_ just let me win!” James exclaimed as Sirius’ Queen was violently knocked off the chessboard by his white Knight.

“No I did not!” Sirius snapped back, his face going red.

“You tosser!”

“Hey, you already lost the Quidditch match, I’m not gonna let you lose at Wizard’s chess, too!”

“You dickweasel!” James laughed as he shoved the board aside and grabbed Sirius by the arms, yanking him closer and then tickling his sides.

“Hey!...Hey!” Sirius yelped between laughs whilst laying between his legs.

“But you’re _my_ dickweasel,” James said, leaning down and kissing him on the top of the head.

“Oh, that reminds me,” Sirius said, squirming in his arms to face him, “Peter called me an ‘arsebadger’ the other day and he said it fit because I’m…well…you _know_...But I think he’s confused about the meaning of the word...Like maybe he thinks it means someone who has a penchant for _arses_...and maybe badgers... _Christ_ , he is _such_ an idiot _..._ there’s no telling,” he muttered.

“What?!” James croaked. “When did he say this?”

“At practice, when I was sitting in the stands with him...He got all snippity with me and I guess that was just the best insult he could think of...”

“The blaggard. I’ll _kill_ him.”

“I can’t say I’d mind really…” Sirius said, crawling into his lap. “He’s been a bloody toerag ever since we got back to school…except of course for when he helped out when I was sick. But where was he yesterday for you? And why does he keep throwing tantrums?”

James stared off into the distance with a frown. “Yeah, he’s definitely been acting strange this term…and I don’t think it’s all because of us…or maybe it _is_ …I dunno…maybe we’re finally just realizing what a git he is…I guess _the_ _Marauder’s_ will just never be the same...”

“No, they won’t,” Sirius said with a heavy sigh. “Especially not now that two of them are _madly_ in love with each other.”

“What?! Peter and Remus? I had no idea!” James exclaimed, smiling and squeezing him in his arms.

“Yeah, yeah…”

James cleared his throat, suddenly going very serious, “Hey, you know what else I’ve been thinking about?”

“Hmm?”

“That we haven’t been to the _Room_ in ages…maybe we should try and go there this week.”

“You just got _the best blowjob of your life_ and you’re already thinking about another one?”

“Maybe,” James chuckled. “I just think we should take full advantage of the place…and the _bed_.”

There was silence.

“We’re still…uh…on the same page about that, right?”

Silence again.

“Babe? Are you there?”

“Yeah…and _yes_ …we’re still on the same page.”

“Okay good…because I’ve still been thinking about what you said…”

“Me? What’d I say?”

“At Puddifoots, actually...”

“Well, you never _told_ me what I bloody said!”

“Oh,” James said squirming and feeling his neck grow hot.

“Now, you _have_ to tell me!”

James pinched the bridge of his nose between his fingers and exhaled. “Okay, well…you basically said…um…Well, _first_ you said you wanted to cover me in whipped cream and lick it off…”

Sirius laughed and shook his head, “Yeah, that sounds about right…”

“Yeah, but that wasn’t all…and then you said…” James took another deep breath, “You said, and I quote: ‘I can’t wait to be fucked in the arse.’”

Silence.

“Bloody hell,” Sirius finally hissed, drawing out the words and scrunching his eyes shut. “I really _said_ that?”

“Yes.”

“Wow.”

“But I mean, you weren’t exactly in your _right mind_ …or maybe you were and the ambrosia just brought it out…But if you didn’t really mean it, that’s okay…” he trailed off, realizing he was rambling.

Sirius stared in his eyes and bit his lip, a determined expression crossing his gorgeous face. “No, I meant it,” he finally said.

James took a sharp inhale.

“Okay, good…that’s good,” he breathed, “because I wanna do that to you…very badly.”

***

~S~

Sirius’ eyes nearly fell out of his head.

_Okay…_

_Never thought James Potter would say that to me in so many words…but okay. He wants_ _to fuck me in the arse. No big deal. We’ve been over this before…_

_But he’s never stated it quite so plainly…_

_Bloody hell._

_I can do this._

_We can do this._

_We WILL do this._

_It’s just a matter of time._

_Holy shit._

_We’re really gonna do it!_

***

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 😱😱😱🍆❤️💦⭐️🦌
> 
> It’s only a matter of time, friends...🎉😂


	41. Full Moon Escapades

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy Halloween!!! 🎃👻🔮🎉🕸🦇🌙

***

~S~

Much to Sirius’ surprise, Peter apologized the next day for his rude behavior, though he seemed much more concerned about avoiding _James’_ wrath than anything else.

“Do you think he’ll be terribly mad at me?” Peter asked, biting his nails like a wood rat, his brown eyes round and filled with fear.

“Not unless you’re sincere,” Sirius said, crossing his arms and pursing his lips at him.

“But I am! I was just…I dunno…feeling left out, I suppose.”

Sirius narrowed his eyes at him, not entirely sure he believed him…but then again, what else could explain Peter’s strange behavior? All he really seemed to care about was fitting in…And clearly, James’ opinion of him mattered the _most_ …which wasn’t so surprising considering James was probably the most beloved and popular person out of their entire class. And Peter wasn’t as dumb as he looked; a fact that Sirius had always kept tucked away in the back of his mind.

“Okay, if you say so…” he replied. “But no more name calling and no more tantrums…It’s time to grow up, Wormtail.”

Peter’s face contorted slightly, a flash of anger skittering across his beady eyes, and then it disappeared just as quickly. He nodded in agreement and fiddled with his hands.

_Yes, he’s definitely not as dumb as we take him for…_

“Oh, and by the way, an _arsebadger_ is just a troublesome, shit of a person _—_ you know, someone like _you—_ and not in fact someone who fancies _arses_ and _badgers_ ,” Sirius said with a sniff. “So at least get your insults straight.”

Peter just gaped at him.

***

~S~

  
“So is everybody on board for Friday night?” Remus asked as they all headed down to supper one evening.

“Yeah,” they all said in unison.

“And what about going to Hogsmeade on Saturday?” Peter asked.

“You can go if you want, but I’ll be too _tired_ ,” Remus said, already looking haggard with dark circles under his droopy eyes.

“Well, that _stinks_. I need to go to Honeydukes and get some more licorice!” Peter complained.

“It’s not _my_ fault the full moon’s on a Friday!” Remus snapped back.

“Can’t you just go with another friend?” Sirius asked exasperatedly, already feeling another tantrum coming on.

_So much for growing up…_

Peter just rolled his eyes, “Well, won’t you and James be going?”

Sirius shot a pointed look at James and smirked.

“We’ll probably be too tired as well,” James said, a dopey grin sliding up his gorgeous face.

Peter pursed his lips, looking about ready to implode, and then he caught Sirius’ watchful eye and quickly changed his tune. “Whatever,” he muttered.

_Crisis averted._

They walked into the Great Hall and sat down at their usual spot at the Gryffindor table.

“I don’t know what’s gotten into Slughorn,” Sirius sighed, snatching a bread roll out of a silver server, “But he’s been loading up on the homework like a fiend…I dunno _how_ they expect us to get all this done…”

“Yeah, especially with Quidditch practice, too,” James chimed in, scooting closer to him and smiling.

Sirius stared at him and blinked, his heart swelling against his chest.

_God, he’s gorgeous._

James’ bruises had all but healed and he was finally getting back to his normal self. He’d even lead Quidditch practices that week, much to Sirius’ fiery protests. But trying to keep James Potter away from Quidditch was like trying to prevent Moony from turning into a hairy beast on the full moon—simply _impossible_. 

“We’ve just gotta survive our midterm exams and then it’ll be better…” Remus said, forking a bite of mash into his mouth, his amber eyes glazed over.

“No, it won’t, because then we have Apparition lessons and then _final exams_ …” Sirius said sourly. “And McGonagall just has _way_ too high of expectations of what she thinks we’re capable of. I _cannot_ turn a bloody tortoise into a _typewriter_ no matter how hard I try! Too many damn keys…”

James snorted next to him and bumped against his side.

“Yeah, well Lily and Snape were the only ones that _could_ ,” Remus said petulantly, scooting his food around on his plate.

“They’re probably _practicing_ , that’s where they go at night…” Peter said thoughtfully, his small mouth over-stuffed with food.

Remus turned to stare at him with narrowed eyes whilst James and Sirius just shot each other baffled glances.

“And what _exactly_ are you mumbling about, Wormtail?” Remus asked coolly.

“They’re always sneaking off at night…” Peter said with a shrug, as if this was somehow old news.

“And you know this _how_?”

“Because I’ve seen ‘em…several times. When I’m bored and wandering around the castle…”

“More like snooping!” Sirius barked, narrowing his eyes at him.

“I was not! I didn’t do it on purpose! I just saw them running up the stairs...that’s _all_ ,” Peter hissed.

Remus crossed his arms and glowered.

“Well, they’ve always snuck off together…for _years_ …So why’s this any different?” Sirius asked, quickly trying to lighten the suspicion and protect the _Room_.

“They weren’t an _item_ before, that’s what,” Remus snapped.

“Whatever, who cares where they go,” Sirius huffed. “We’ve got more _important_ things to worry about…”

But Remus wasn’t listening; he was too busy gazing moodily down the table at Lily, who was laughing with one of her friends.

“Like what?” Peter asked before gulping down his pumpkin juice and dribbling more down his jumper than in his mouth.

“Like…how are we gonna _survive_ Apparition lessons? They’ll be here soon…” Sirius huffed.

James just chuckled and shook his head.

“Well?” Sirius said with wide eyes, turning towards him. “I dunno about you, but I don’t fancy losing an arm or a leg!”

“That’s really possible?!” Peter squeaked, a look of horror crossing his pale face.

“Sure it is! Terrible things can happen to your body parts!” Sirius snapped.

“I don’t think I’ll even try for it this year then…” Peter mumbled, now looking completely sick. “I can always give it a go next year.”

Just then, a wavy-haired blonde boy with pink cheeks and pursed lips appeared behind James and Sirius. He cleared his throat importantly and then croaked out, “Excuse me, but I have a delivery.”

James and Sirius both turned to stare at him incredulously.

“Hey, you’re the chap that got all those _Valentines_!” Sirius exclaimed, his eyes going wide.

The boy went a darker shade of red and pursed his lips out even further.

“Yes, it is _I_ , Gilderoy Lockhart.”

Sirius had to bite his lip to keep from bursting out laughing. This chap was truly full of himself.

“Hey, Gilderoy,” Remus said flatly.

“Hello, Remus, nice to see you. If you please, I have a special delivery from Professor Slughorn. He’s chosen me _especially_ for this very important task.”

Sirius rolled his eyes and huffed, “Well, what is it?”

The boy held out two oversized gold envelopes stamped with a giant maroon seal.

“Oh, merlin!” James groaned as he took both the letters.

“Professor Slughorn asks that you keep the invitations a _private_ matter. Now, I’ll bid you adieu,” the cheeky boy said with a sniff as he turned on his heel and strode away.

“That little shit…” Sirius muttered with furrowed brows. “ _God_ , he gets under my skin…giving himself airs…”

“What are they?” Peter asked excitedly, covetously eyeing the shimmery gold envelopes. 

“Invites to another Slug Club meeting, of course,” James sighed.

“Oh,” Peter said, his face falling.

James handed the second letter to Remus whilst reading over his own. “It’s on Saturday! And he says it’s _mandatory_ …merlin,” he groaned.

“The last one wasn’t too terrible,” Remus said tiredly, reading over the scroll of parchment; a sprinkling of gold glitter falling out and dusting the top of his mashed potatoes.

“You must not be remembering it _clearly_ then,” Sirius said. “James nearly tossing his biscuits at dinner? Slughorn completely sloshed and making a bloody fool of himself? All of us crammed in that suffocating room being force-fed treacle tart whilst Slytherins shot daggers at us? Yeah, it was a bloody _brilliant_ time alright.”

James sighed heavily, “Well, maybe it will be better this time…I won’t eat so much…”

“But why’s it _mandatory_?” Remus asked, rubbing his chin.

“I dunno, he probably just put that on there to make sure we’d all come…”

“It does say we’ll get extra credit for attending,” James said, reading the ridiculously tiny print at the very bottom of the scroll.

“Well how’s that _fair_?” Peter nearly shouted. “For those of us that aren’t invited? We don’t even get the _option_ of extra credit…”

“That’s just how ole _Sluggy_ is,” Sirius muttered, rolling James’ scroll back up and setting it aside.

“Just great, I’ll be exhausted,” Remus sighed, rubbing his eyes.

And Sirius instantly felt bad for him. The party would be held the day after the full moon after all, when Moony would normally be dead to the world in a sleeping coma. “Well, maybe you can get out of it and just say you’re sick…I can’t imagine Slughorn getting cross at you for that…”

“Yeah, well I really need the extra credit, though. I didn’t do too well on the last exam…You saw, my potion started screaming insults at Slughorn like an enraged hag…and I need to keep up my marks as a Prefect…”

James and Sirius both shrugged helplessly.

“You could always get help from _Lily_!” Peter said shrewdly, narrowing his small eyes to slits.

“And you could always be locked in a dark broom cupboard again…” Remus said, turning towards him with a wicked smirk.

Peter quickly stared back down at his plate and continued eating.

 _Damn, Moony…you really are growing a pair_ , Sirius thought to himself smugly.

***

~S~

  
It was a freeze-your-arse-off kind of night on the full moon. A thick layer of snow was still covering the ground and the wind felt like shards of ice, slicing through your bones.

Sirius shivered violently as he and James walked briskly towards the Whomping Willow with Peter trotting close behind them. “Bloody miserable!” Sirius hissed, wrapping his arms around himself and trying to stay warm.

James smiled at him and wrapped an arm around his shoulder, squeezing him into his side.

“Bleh!”

“What was that, Wormtail?” James asked over his shoulder.

“Nothing!”

Sirius just rolled his eyes and elbowed James in the side. “I’ve had just about enough of him,” he whispered.

“Mmmhmm,” James hummed, rubbing his shoulder with his thumb. “It won’t be as cold once we get changed.”

When they got near the tree James pulled out his wand and said the spell that made the secret, round door slide open and the Whomping Willow freeze as if stupefied, making it safe to walk underneath it. “I’ll go first,” he said, putting his wand between his teeth and jumping through the doorway.

Sirius followed after him and hit the ground hard on all fours. James yanked him up by the elbow and quickly started dusting him off.

Peter landed next with a loud thud, a cloud of dust billowing up around him, but he was left to fend for himself.

And then a familiar, eerie howl echoed through the tunnels, raising the hairs on the back of Sirius’ neck. It was just a sound he could never fully get used to. “Sounds like he’s ready and waiting,” he said with a grin. They all stashed their wands and the Marauder’s map in a secret cubby in the wall, and then stood to face each other.

“Alright, let’s get Moony and then head for the forest. Ready?” James asked.

“Ready!” Peter and Sirius said in unison.

James smirked at Sirius and then winked before he began to change; all three of them morphing into their respective Animagus forms.

Sirius had always been grateful they could still communicate mentally after they’d changed. It made keeping Remus in check so much easier. And thankfully, they couldn’t just read each other’s thoughts without trying, but rather had to _intentionally_ direct them to one another in order to hear them. Which was a lucky thing he’d always thought, otherwise, James would have found out about his true feelings for him long ago, which now that he thought about it…might not have been such a _bad_ thing after all.

“Let’s go!” James bellowed.

They took off running down the tunnels and eventually found Remus, cowering in a dark, empty room of the Shrieking Shack and moaning miserably.

“We’re here mate, you can cheer up!” Sirius barked.

Remus, now an eight-foot-tall hideous beast covered in hair whose sharp fangs were dripping with saliva, turned his head to look at them, his black eyes flashing. “Oh, thank, Merlin!” he said with relief, his bony shoulders drooping.

“To the Forbidden Forest!” Peter squeaked as he ran excited circles around their feet.

They all trotted back to the entrance of the Whomping Willow and climbed out, sniffing the air one by one, making sure it was safe to exit. James went first, his large antlers barely able to fit through the opening, and then they dashed to the edge of the forest where they could be hidden from sight.

A cloud scuttled past the moon revealing its full form, and Remus stopped in his tracks and sniffed the air; he threw back his hairy head and let out a mournful howl.

And Sirius wanted to laugh, thinking of how that terrible sound must be frightening someone right out of their skin at that very moment.

_If they only knew…_

They continued to run deeper into the heart of the forest; over broken, snow-covered branches and tangled vines; past owls that hooted at them disdainfully for disturbing the peace, and across ice-cold, shimmering streams. They had a typical path they followed on every full moon which made it easier to keep moving and not _think_. The objective of their escapades was always to preoccupy, _and completely wear out,_ Remus so that he’d be too exhausted to cause any harm.

“Stop for a minute!” Peter squeaked, even his telepathy voice somehow sounding like a _rat_.

“We’re nearly there!” James said, rearing up on his hind legs and throwing his antlers back in the air dramatically.

Sirius wagged his tail and watched him with admiration, thinking of how he looked just like the picture he’d painted of him for Christmas.

And then the sound of voices made them all freeze.

“What was that?!” Sirius yelped, turning in fast circles and smelling at the air.

“Centaurs?” James asked.

Sirius raised his ears and listened intently. “No, it sounds like humans…Quick—they’re coming this way!” He darted behind a bush and they all followed.

“Keep your damn mouth shut!” he snapped to Remus who was crouched behind him, blowing hot, foul air onto the back of his head.

A group of figures suddenly appeared; they were clad in black robes and pointy hats and seemed to be arguing about something.

“Who is it?” James asked.

Sirius listened carefully.

“It sounds like Crabbe and Goyle! And I can’t tell who else…”

“What in the name of _Merlin_ would they be doing out here?” James hissed.

“I dunno…Goyle just said something about being _late_ and that they needed to _hurry up..._ that someone won’t be _pleased_.”

“Who?”

“No idea.”

Sirius could feel Remus starting to get impatient from behind him; he was sniffing the air and pawing at the ground with his massive clawed foot.

“We need to get away from here!” Remus said, “I can’t hold back much longer!”

“C’mon!” James yelled, quickly leading them in the opposite direction. “We’ll go back the way we came!”

They raced back through the woods at break-neck speed, nearly bursting out of the edge of the forest and onto the grounds of the castle. 

“My paws are frozen!” Sirius barked. “Let’s go back to the Shrieking Shack and just stay there until dawn. “It’s too bloody cold!”

“Okay!” James said, bounding out of the forest first and leading the way back to the Whomping Willow.

Remus let out one more terrible howl before they all jumped down the hole and made their way though the winding tunnels and back to the Shack.

They came to a halt at the dusty, rotting wood structure of the dilapidated house and Remus went straight to the corner and started violently scarfing down his stash of Pumpkin Pasties. 

Sirius turned and looked up at James, his black eyes narrowing. “Why would Crabbe and Goyle be going into the Forbidden Forest to meet someone? Are they complete _idiots_? Don’t they know how dangerous it is in there?”

“Well, they’re definitely _idiots_ …but I can’t imagine who they’d be meeting…Maybe it’s some secret Slytherin ritual. I wouldn’t put it past ‘em.”

“Should we rat them out?”

“And explain why _we_ were in the forest in the first place?” James asked with a smirk, well at least as close to a smirk as a _stag_ could get.

“Speaking of _rats_ ,” Remus said, now walking towards them on his hind legs, his hairy mouth covered in icing, “Where’s Peter?”

They all looked around the room.

“I thought he was right behind us,” Sirius said, turning circles. “Wormtail? Where are you?”

There was only silence.

“Do you think he got stuck outside the Whomping Willow?” James asked.

“Maybe…It _has_ been known to happen before,” Sirius replied, “but I’m not going all the way back to check. He can just go back to the castle or wait on the edge of the damn forest for all I care.”

James nodded in agreement.

Remus paced the tunnels for several more hours before he finally started to calm down, eventually settling in his corner and collapsing in a heap.

  
***

~J~

James pushed himself up, feeling the painful effects of the cold even in his stag bones, and peered out the partially boarded-up widow. He was completely relieved to see the faint, pink glow of dawn spreading across the horizon. “Sunrise!” he exclaimed, and when he turned back around he found Remus, already changed back into his human form, covered in filthy rags, and fast asleep. “Guess we can change back now,” he said, looking to Sirius, who was lying stretched out on the floor with his large, black paws crossed one over the other, watching him intently. 

They both morphed back and instantly started shivering from the cold.

“Merlin, I’m starving,” Sirius said with chattering teeth, wrapping his arms around himself.

“And I need a shower,” James said, wiping his dirt-stained palms down the sides of his jeans.

“Yes, you do,” Sirius said, moving closer to him and smiling sleepily. “We _both_ do.”

James smiled back tiredly and opened his arms.

Sirius lurched forward and fell right into them, hugging him tight.

“Blimey, you’re freezing, babe!” James hissed, rubbing his hands up and down his frigid back.

“Mmmhmm, need you to get me warm.”

“C’mon, let’s go take care of that,” James said with a grin, but then he turned back around and looked at Remus, shivering pitifully on a pile of Pumpkin Pasty wrappers.

He walked over and promptly hoisted him up off the ground and tossed him over his shoulder with a grunt before following Sirius back to the entrance of the Whomping Willow.

“I’ll get the wands and map,” Sirius said once they’d arrived.

They crawled out of the hole and looked around, once again surprised to find no trace of Peter anywhere.

“Guess he went back to the castle,” Sirius said with a shrug.

They trudged their way through the snow, the rising sun casting its warm rays on their backs, and when they finally made it up to their dorm, they nearly collapsed.

Much to their surprise, they found Peter, sound asleep on his bed, still fully dressed in his clothes from the night before and breathing deeply.

“Wonder what happened to him…” James mused, furrowing his brows and gently laying Remus down on his own bed.

“Probably got lost in the forest or somethin’,” Sirius said with a yawn. “It wouldn’t be the _first_ time…”

James shrugged, “To the showers?”

“Yes, please!” Sirius said, instantly perking up.

  
***

~J~

  
Breakfast never tasted as delicious as it did the morning after their full moon escapades. Running around almost the entire night really worked up an appetite, and since James didn’t really enjoy eating grass, and Sirius refused dog food, they had to go on empty bellies. Remus, however, usually ate around fifty Pumpkin Pasties just to keep his ravenous appetite at bay.

“Merlin, these are damn good,” Sirius crooned, taking a huge bite of a gooey, steaming cinnamon bun dripping in icing. “M’never gets old…”

James chuckled and watched him wistfully, resting the side of his cheek in his hand, his eyes still glassed over and his lips still swollen from their recent _shower_.

“Wha’?”

“You.”

Sirius smirked and licked the icing off his lips. “You should have let me dry your hair, love. You’re gonna catch cold.”

James ran his fingers back through his damp hair and continued to stare at him. “Hmm,” he noised.

“So are we going to Hogsmeade or back to bed?” Sirius asked, sucking the pad of his thumb.

“Mmm, back to bed, I think.”

“Hey, maybe we could go to the Room and sleep there…”

“Lily and Snape have it today…” James said, swallowing down a spoonful of porridge. 

“Oh, right. Merlin, they _always_ have it. I swear. What could they _possibly_ be doing in there all that time?”

James just cocked a brow. “Probably the same thing we’d be doing if we ever had the chance…”

Sirius started to grin and then curled his lip up in disgust. “Ew.”

James chuckled deeply and wiped his mouth. “And don’t forget we have Slughorn’s party tonight…”

Sirius frowned, his perfect, red lips turning down. “Well, at least we have an excuse to get dressed up…”

A giant grin spread across James’ face at the visual. “Should I wear my satin suit?”

“Um, _no_. I don’t think Slughorn, _or anyone else_ , needs to see you in _that_ ever again. Only me.”

James smirked, his heart speeding up. “Alright, baby, I’ll only wear it for _you_.”

  
***

~S~

Sirius blushed fiercely and squirmed in his seat, still amazed how James’ words could turn him into a steaming pile of mush. He stared down at his plate, trying to get ahold of himself, and when he flicked his eyes back up he caught sight of Crabbe and Goyle and a group of suspicious looking Slytherins entering the hall.

James turned to see what he was staring at.

“They certainly _look_ like they spent the night in the woods,” Sirius said, noticing their weary faces and slumped shoulders. “They look like they’ve seen a _ghost_ …”

“Yeah, they do…Maybe that’s who they were meeting…”

Sirius continued to observe them. The group stayed huddled close together and kept whispering to each other conspiratorially. “Gits,” he mumbled before turning back to his plate.

“Let’s take some food up for Moony,” James said, piling some sticky buns into a basket.

“And I guess some for Peter, too,” Sirius said dully. “He’ll be in a bloody strop when he realizes he missed breakfast.” 

They trudged back up to the room, setting Remus and Peter’s food down on their respective nightstands, and then collapsed onto James’ bed in a heap. Sirius held his wand up and mumbled a spell, making the velvet curtains clamp shut, and then James opened his arms wide and he rolled right into them, snuggling close and resting his head on his chest; he wrapped his arm firmly around his stomach and draped his leg over his thigh.

“Comfortable?” James asked with a deep chuckle that Sirius felt vibrate through every weary bone in his body.

“Mmmhmm,” he noised, sighing contentedly and burying his face in James’ soft, grey jumper, thinking that “dog-tired” never felt so damn good.

***

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ❄️🐺🌕🦌💫❄️


	42. Baked Slugs and Other Issues

***

~S~

“Are we goin’ down for lunch?” Sirius mumbled as he snuggled his face into James’ warm chest several hours later.

“Mmm,” James responded.

“Was that a _yes_?”

James’ stomach gave a growl.

“I’ll take that as a _yes_ ,” Sirius said with a chuckle as he peered up at him.

“Alright,” James muttered with his eyes still closed.

Sirius sat up and smiled down at him. “C’mon, love. You need sustenance.”

He pulled open the curtains to find Peter and Remus still passed out on their beds; Peter’s mouth open wide as he continued to snore loudly.

They managed to sleepily stumble their way back down to the Great Hall, finding it nearly deserted, what with everyone else in Hogsmeade for the day. Only groups of younger years were huddled together at their House tables.

And even half-awake and bleary eyed, Sirius couldn’t help but notice the curious stares they were getting.

All the girls had _literal hearts_ in their eyes as they watched James stroll down the center aisle, whilst the boys wore looks of envy and awe.

Sirius glanced sideways at him and pursed his lips, his eyes sliding down from James’ Greek-god like chiseled cheekbones to his plush, cock-aching lips, and then dropping lower to his broad shoulders and lean, muscular thighs…

He really was a feast for the eyes…And sometimes, _rarely_ , even Sirius forgot.

_Goddamn._

He realized he was gaping and shut his mouth.

James glanced sideways at him, a sexy, knowing smirk instantly sliding up his face and making Sirius’ heart skip a beat. “What?” he asked.

“Jus’ admiring the view,” Sirius sputtered. “I’m allowed to, aren’t I?”

“Yes, of course,” James said silkily.

Sirius shivered inadvertently and licked his lips, suddenly not feeling very sleepy at all. In fact, he’d never been more awake in his life.

“What brought this on?” James asked, walking around the end of the table and sitting down across from him, his green eyes sparkling.

Sirius just shrugged, “Sometimes I just forget how other people must see you…”

“What do you mean?”

“I mean how goddamn _beautiful_ you are,” he replied, turning crimson and clutching onto his fork for support.

“You mean you don’t _normally_ see me like that?” James asked slyly, his annoyingly perfect eyebrow arched like a bow.

_God, even his eyebrows are sexy…too sexy…_

“No! Of, course I do! It’s just…sometimes, because you’re _mine_ , I forget how _other people_ must see you…” Sirius trailed off, and then he shook his head in frustration. “I’m not making any sense.”

James just smiled. “You mean you forget about my _attractiveness_ because I’m _yours_ …”

Sirius barked out a laugh that sounded more like his Animagus than himself. He cleared his throat. “Well, yeah, I guess…but sometimes I’m just utterly gobsmacked by it…As if I’m seeing you for the first time.”

“I like that,” James whispered, leaning across the table towards him. His deep voice, his glittering eyes, his flexed biceps straining against the fabric of his jumper, all too full of possibilities.

_Too many fucking possibilities._

Sirius flicked his eyes down to his now magically full dinner plate, feeling the heat rise up his neck and burn the tips of his ears. “You just don’t realize how _attractive_ you are…” he muttered, stabbing a green bean with his fork as if he were trying to kill it.

“And you don’t realize how attractive _you_ are…” James replied.

Sirius just shrugged.

“But I’m glad, because otherwise you might get a big head…and if it were any bigger, I’m not sure it’d fit in my _mouth_ …”

Sirius whipped his head up, his eyes going as large as his dinner plate, “You git! I’ll get you for that!”

“You do that,” James said with a smug grin, resting his chin casually in his hand. “I’ll look forward to it.”

  
***

~J~

“Does this tie go with this shirt?” James asked, holding up a navy-blue patterned silk tie with a starched white button-down shirt.

Sirius turned around and looked at him, his hip popped to the side and his lips pursed. “Yeah, it does…And with what jacket?”

“My blue blazer and khaki pants…”

“Yeah, I think that’ll be brilliant!”

James grinned widely and then bit his lip.

“What?”

“Oh nothing…I just love being _domestic_ with you…reminds me of being at home.”

Sirius quit primping in the mirror for a moment and sauntered towards him, James’ heart beating faster as he drank him in; Sirius was all loose trackies and soft, oversized jumper and messy hair and everything he could possibly ever want and more.

Sirius stopped just a few inches away from him and reached his hands up, entwining them around his neck as if they were about to dance. James swallowed hard and tried to remember how to breathe. “Well, when we live together, we’ll be domestic _all the time_ ,” Sirius purred.

James blinked rapidly in surprise and beamed down at him, his heart practically glowing in his chest. “So is that still the plan? This summer, I mean?”

“If you want it to be,” Sirius said quietly, staring in his eyes. “I mean, if you still think it’s a good idea.”

“I think it’s the _best_ idea you’ve ever had,” James breathed, wrapping his arms around his back and pulling him close, their groins pressed firmly together. “I just hope my mum and dad think it’s a good one, too…”

“Well, you’re of age now, so I don’t see the problem…” Sirius said, pushing back to stare at him.

“Yeah, well you know how _protective_ they are…And I’m pretty sure they’re expecting me to work at the bakery all summer, like usual.”

“Well, maybe you could still do weekends or something? We can both go down and visit.”

“True!” James replied, perking up. “And you still wanna find a job in London?”

“Or Diagon Alley…I’d prefer there, really. Can’t see myself workin’ with Muggles.”

“Yeah, me either,” James sighed, starting to sway his hips from side to side. “They couldn’t handle you…”

“And _you_ can?” Sirius smirked, raising a brow.

“I think I do all right,” James blushed.

“Yeah, you do,” Sirius finally said, raising up on his toes for a kiss.

James automatically leaned down, pressing his lips into Sirius’ soft, familiar ones; the sensation igniting fireworks in his brain and doubling his heart rate, like always. Sirius groaned quietly and wrapped his arms tighter around his neck, opening wider and straining into his mouth, slipping his eager tongue right inside and licking against James’.

And _oh god…_

James surged towards him, a raging fire burning through his lower belly. He slid his hands down to Sirius’ irresistible arse and pulled him firmly against his pelvis, making them both groan out with pleasure.

And then a throat cleared and they both jumped apart, wide-eyed and panting.

“Sorry,” Remus said, staring down at the floor, his face as red as a tomato. “I just forgot my watch…”

“Not a problem,” James said, wiping his mouth and stepping back from Sirius.

“Well, I’ll see you at the party!” Remus yelped before running out the door.

_Bloody hell…_

Sirius exhaled loudly.

“Well, at least he seems to be more comfortable with _us_ ,” James said, rubbing the back of his neck. “I wonder what changed…”

“I think me nearly dying…and then _you_ nearly dying,” Sirius said with a chuckle.

“Yeah, probably,” he said thoughtfully. “I’m still not sure if Peter’s truly changed his opinion, though.”

“Peter’s a git. I still can’t believe he got lost in the forest…You’d think even as a _rat_ he’d have a better sense of direction.”

“I’m not sure he was telling the truth,” James said.

“Huh?”

“His story sounded so suspicious…and he was so twitchy when he told it…”

“Wormtail’s _always_ twitchy and _always_ suspicious,” Sirius said, sliding down his grey trackies and stepping out of them. He snatched his black trousers off the bed and slid them up his muscular thighs.

James stared pointedly at his open fly for a beat, mesmerized, and then swallowed, “True, but I still think he was lying…”

“Why would he lie?”

“I dunno…I just think we should keep an eye on him.”

“I’d rather not,” Sirius said with a huff, fastening the button on his pants. “I only have eyes for _you_.”

James grinned, pulling his thermal off and over his head, “Aw, baby, more sweet talk?”

And he didn’t miss the way Sirius stared unabashedly at his naked chest, his eyes glued to his flexed pecs.

_Yeah, baby, just keep looking...It’s all yours._

Sirius finally cleared his throat and averted his eyes, “Maybe,” he said, blushing fiercely.

James grinned. “I will need your help with this tie…”

“Of course you will,” Sirius replied, a wolfish grin sliding up his gorgeous face.

  
  
***

~S~

  
James knocked on the black baroque door and was instantly greeted by an overly excited Professor Slughorn.

 _No surprise there..._ Sirius thought with disgust, his lip curling up. Though, the Slug didn’t appear _quite_ as inebriated as he’d been at the previous party, _thank god_. And he tried not to glare daggers at him when he rested his beefy, wandering hand so casually on James’ back and ushered them into the room, but he couldn’t help it.

_He’s mine you fucking toad!_

He got the very distinct impression that a much younger Slughorn would have had no qualms about pursuing James for much _more_ than just his charming persona and star Quidditch abilities...

And maybe his _age_ wouldn’t even stop him now…

_Over my dead body._

Sirius reached out and grabbed James’ forearm, tugging him abruptly towards a table of _hors d’oeuvres_ and out of the Slug’s slimy reach.

“What?” James hissed, turning towards him with wide eyes, his luscious curls bouncing on top of his head.

Sirius pursed his lips, ready to snap at him, but found himself too gobsmacked by his beauty to utter a word.

_Jesus Christ._

He never should have let James leave their room looking like _that_. What the fuck was he thinking?! James was all blue blazer and khaki pants for days…Soft tousled hair and pinks lips. Cheekbones that belonged on a marble statue. Even his _shoes_ were fucking sexy. Posh and polished to the color of an acorn…He suddenly had a flashback to when they first met...

_Fucking hell._

If James’ black _glasses_ were added to the already cock-swelling ensemble, he’d simply pass out.

“What is it?” James asked again.

Sirius’ eyes slid down to his tie.

_God…his fucking tie._

He wanted to greedily wrap his hand around the blue silk and yank him down, smash their lips together and—

“Hey, lads!” Remus said, appearing out of nowhere and completely ruining his fantasy.

“Hey,” Sirius grumbled back, trying to calm his raging heart. “What, no date?”

“No, not enough energy to handle that tonight…I’m beat.”

And he looked it, too. Pale as a poltergeist with one foot still in the grave.

But there was no _time_ for that.

All Sirius wanted now was to get James alone. He looked around the room for someone else who could entertain Moony and then he frowned, “Is that _Goyle_?”

“Yeah, I was surprised, too…” Remus said, shaking his head. “He came with that Slytherin girl.”

“That’d be the _only_ way he’d get in here,” Sirius replied, pursing his lips and narrowing his eyes at the beast of a boy. “He’s definitely _not_ one of the Slug’s pets…”

“He probably just came for the free food,” Remus said with a shrug.

“Yeah, him and everybody else,” James chimed in, his voice deep and thick and much too thrilling; Sirius nearly jumped out of his skin at the sound of it. He whipped around to look at him with pursed lips and angry eyes, his sexual frustration now at an all-time high.

_Stop being so fucking irresistible, you wanker!_

And then there was a knock on the door and the Slug gleefully went to answer it, twirling his hands in the air and making a bloody show of it.

_God, he’s a toerag…_

When he bounded back in the room he had Lily on his arm…with no _bat_ in sight.

Sirius and James both shot each other confused glances.

“Interesting,” Sirius muttered, completely shocked to see her without her usual _repulsive_ escort.

And amazingly, Remus magically forgot how utterly exhausted he was as soon as he caught sight of her—dateless, gussied up and standing awkwardly in the middle of the room whilst biting her bottom lip. He went straight to her rescue like a loyal dog (or a repressed eight foot tall _werewolf_ in his case).

“Well that worked out well,” James snickered.

“Moony scores again,” Sirius said smiling, relieved that they wouldn’t have to keep either of them company for the evening.

“Gather round! Gather round!” Slughorn said, motioning for them to take their seats at the giant mahogany table. And thankfully, this time, James didn’t pull his bloody chair out for him like a git; he wasn’t sure he could have handled that.

They sat down and Slughorn proceeded to make a rousing speech (though it was mostly incoherent nonsense) as the house elves wheeled in endless carts of silver servers, the combination of competing smells almost nauseating.

Sirius eyed James sitting next to him and then leaned towards him, putting his mouth to his ear, “Take it easy, love. Don’t over-do it this time.”

  
***

~J~

James tried to pretend like the feel of Sirius’ warm, achingly-familiar breath tickling against the shell of his ear was no big deal.

_No-big-fucking-deal._

Like it didn’t conjure about a thousand erotic visuals.

Or a thousand illicit memories.

_No-big-FUCKING-deal._

But his _cock_ certainly felt otherwise.

He’d been trying his damnedest all night _not_ to look at Sirius…not to _smell_ him… _touch_ him… _admire_ him...But now that they were sitting mere inches apart, their knees carelessly bumping together under the table, doing all those things and _more,_ were _all_ he could bloody think about.

And on top of that, Sirius was in all black… _again_.

The literal same outfit he’d worn to the dance.

The very same one he’d admired to no end but never got to properly _experience._

Never got to strip off him with a vengeance.

At this moment, he only had an appetite for _one thing_ , and it was _not_ in fact the mince pie Slughorn was trying to shove down their throats.

_Not at all._

He was tempted to reach out and grab hold of his wine-filled crystal goblet and drown his angst, but abstained, suddenly having a flash-back to the toilet in the Prefect’s bathroom.

He did _not_ want a repeat of that.

_Absobloodylutely not._

He had a plan this time.

He’d stay perfectly sober and as soon as the party was over, he’d shove Sirius into the nearest broom cupboard and go down on him like an animal.

If he could even wait _that_ long.

Only time would tell.

  
  
***

~S~

Sirius could _feel_ James staring at him, practically breathing down his fucking neck.

What was it about them getting all dressed up and then having to abstain from touching each other that made things so insanely explosive?

And then he realized he’d just answered his own question.

_Bloody hell..._

He sighed and pushed his food around his plate, trying to drone out the sound of Slughorn, telling yet _another_ long-winded story about his time in school...

And then he felt a hand on his thigh and everything came to a screeching halt.

He inadvertently closed his eyes and took in a shuddery inhale.

_Nope._

_Absolutely not._

And suddenly he couldn’t take it any longer.

He opened his eyes and turned towards James, mouthing, “I want the Room,” with a pounding heart.

James just stared at him blankly, his mouth falling open slightly. “Okay,” he finally breathed. And then he swallowed hard, his Adam’s apple bobbing. “Like, you want to…”

“Yes.”

And Sirius could practically read “HOLY SHIT!” flashing across James’ green eyes in bold, neon letters.

James cleared his throat and turned back to stare at his plate.

_It’s just a matter of time now._

~~~

They managed to survive the rest of the courses, but just _barely_.

Slughorn managed to stain his white dinner jacket with pink ambrosia that he’d sloshed out of his crystal goblet whilst telling a thrilling, and mostly likely _exaggerated_ , tale of his youth. Goyle never spoke a word, but shoved food in his mouth like it was his last meal and glowered at anyone who made eye contact, and Remus kept his attention focused solely on Lily, who looked only slightly miserable and bored.

The party ended with a bang when a giant, two foot tall Baked Alaska was wheeled out by a house elf and lit on fire; the swell of flames so large it touched the ceiling and scorched the paper, and Sirius worried he’d never get that particular _smell_ out of his nose again.

But all in all, it was still a better experience than their very first Slug Club get-together...

James hadn’t bolted from the room with a loaded cock and an overstuffed belly, and Slughorn hadn’t gotten _entirely_ sloshed. 

  
***

~J~

As soon as everyone had finished their Baked Alaska’s (though in this case, it was more like _Charred_ _Alaska’s)_ and Slughorn had leaned back in his chair and sighed contentedly, James readied himself to make an exit. He scooted his chair back and looked around the table, waiting for the rest of the lot to get up as well. A Hufflepuff boy stood first and then a Ravenclaw, and finally, they were all standing and milling about the room talking, but really desperately trying to find a way to slip out undetected.

James saw Lily heading for the door (Remus still by her side, of course) and made a b-line right over to them.

 _But what to do about Moony?_ he wondered.

“Remus,” Sirius’ voice came from behind him.

“Yeah?”

“I need to ask you something…”

Remus’ face pinched slightly and he looked to Lily, sighed regretfully, and then said, “I’ll be right back.”

_Problem solved._

James took the opportunity to walk with her out the door. “Hey,” he said smiling. “Sorry about him…he’s just a bit eager.”

“I hadn’t _noticed_ ,” she said smiling tiredly.

“So, listen, I was wondering...if Sirius and I could maybe…use the _Room_ tonight?” he whispered. “It’s just…we haven’t been in ages and…”

Lily’s mouth went slightly agape, “Oh, yeah, sure…”

“I mean, if you had plans…that’s fine,” he said in a hurry, trying to gauge her strange reaction.

“No, no plans…” she said dejectedly.

“Lily, is everything alright?”

She stopped walking and hugged her arms around herself, then stared up at him with large, tear-filled green eyes.

He stared down at her and gulped, unsure what to do. “I’m sorry!” he blurted out, “I didn’t mean to pry.”

“No, it’s okay,” she said with a sniffle, “Sev and I are just having some _issues_ …”

“Oh.”

“Yeah.”

“Well, don’t tell Remus because he’d be more than happy to—“ and then he stopped abruptly, watching as a single tear slid down her cheek. Instinctively, he reached out and pulled her in for a hug. She automatically wrapped her arms tightly around his midsection and sobbed into his chest.

And then he froze, unsure what to do next.

“Sorry,” she croaked, pulling away and pawing at his blazer, trying to wipe away the tear stains.

“Don’t worry about it,” he said, gripping her by the shoulders and smiling down at her.

She gulped and stared back, her face red and blotchy, “I’ve just always felt like I could _trust_ you…” she said, her copper brows scrunching. “I don’t know why…I just _do_.”

He stared at her for a moment, his heart speeding up, “I feel the same about _you_ , too.” Which was the truth. He’d always felt a strange sense of familiarity with her, even if he had confused it with romantic attraction.

She nodded and sniffled again, wiping under her eyes. “It’s just…Sev has been _propositioned_ …”

“Huh?” he said, as they continued walking forward slowly.

She swallowed hard, “Well, it’s Goyle and his gang…they’re up to something…not _good_ …and they’ve made it very clear that Sev is…a _desired_ member of this _club_ …”

James bit his lip, thinking of how they’d seen Crabbe and Goyle traipsing through the Forbidden Forrest on some kind of clandestine mission.

“Hmm,” he noised, scratching the back of his neck, “And the _issue_ is?”

“The _issue_ is that they’re EVIL!” she barked out, the sound echoing through the empty corridor, and then she blushed and wrapped her arms around herself again. “I mean, what they’re _up to_ …and they’re _harassing_ Sev and telling him he doesn’t have a choice to join them because someone higher up…I don’t know _who_ , knows of him…of his _talents_ …and _wants_ him…”

“Bloody hell,” James breathed out. “That’s intense.”

“Exactly! And that’s why Goyle was at the party tonight…because he wanted to corner Sev again…but we’d had a fight about all this beforehand and so he didn’t come… _thankfully_.”

“Oh, well that explains why Goyle came then…” he said, his mind racing. He wanted to tell her about seeing him in the woods that night, but he wasn’t about to give away the secret that Remus was in fact a werewolf and because of that, they were all unregistered Animagi that frolicked with him in the forest every full moon. He wasn’t sure _anyone_ could handle knowing that.

“Anyway, I’m not sure why I’m telling you all this…I mean I’m not sure what you could possibly _do_ about it. I guess I just feel like someone else should know…in case...in case anything _terrible_ should happen.”

James glanced at her sideways and abruptly stopped walking; he couldn’t help but notice the flash of absolute horror that had crossed her face as she’d said it. Instinctively, he turned and pulled her into his arms again and hugged her tight.

Just then, Sirius bounded out of Slughorn’s quarters, freezing in his tracks as a similar look of horror crossed his own pale face.

James’ mouth fell open. He cleared his throat and quickly pushed back, looking down at Lily as she peered up at him with wet eyes.

“Lil, I um, I need to go…” he said wincing.

She turned her head and caught sight of Sirius, whipping around the corner like a streak of black.

“Oh, I’m so sorry! I didn’t mean to upset him!” she said, abruptly stepping back.

“It’s not your fault,” James replied, squeezing her shoulders once before bolting off to find him.

He immediately felt bad for leaving her behind in such a state, but frankly, Sirius’ feelings were more important.

“Sirius, wait!” he yelled as he turned another corner.

After another flight of stairs he realized that Sirius wasn’t heading for the Gryffindor common room like he’d thought, but for the _Room_ instead.

_Probably because he wants to scream in private._

_Merlin._

When they arrived on the seventh floor James was heaving and clutching at his chest. “You git!” he panted, walking briskly towards him.

Sirius was leaning against the wall with his arms crossed over his chest and his nostrils flaring.

“ME! A git?! I wasn’t the one embracing a bloody _girl_ whilst she sobbed in my bloody arms!” he half yelled, with wide, fire-filled eyes.

“She’s having… _issues_ ,” James panted.

“So!? Why’d she need to confide in _you_?”

James shrugged helplessly, “Because she trusts me…Look, we are _way_ past this…”

“Past what?” Sirius snapped.

“Past acting like she’s even an issue between us…or ever will be.”

Sirius wiped at his eyes and then ran his fingers back angrily through his hair, staring up at the ceiling. “All you were supposed to do was ask her about the Room…Just _one_ … _bloody_ …simple question…”

“And I did!” James snapped. “And she said we _could_ use it and then she went off on _why_ we could use it…Because apparently Goyle is up to something nasty…telling Snape he has to be a part of some evil gang…She and Sev fought…Goyle was at the party to corner him…” James threw his hands in the air in exasperation. “There! That’s what’s going on. Satisfied?” 

Sirius glowered and shrugged his shoulders. “I just don’t know why she has to involve _you_ …” he said quietly.

“I told you, because she _trusts_ me.”

“And she doesn’t have _anyone else_?”

“I guess not…besides Snape, I mean.”

“Well, that’s just fucking fabulous, innit? Bloody brilliant,” Sirius fumed, pacing back and forth and throwing his hands in the air dramatically. 

“Babe, please don’t be _mad_ …I just wanna _be_ with you…Why can’t we just _be_ together?” James whined, feeling completely drained.

Sirius stopped pacing and stared at him for a beat, his blue eyes going suddenly soft and his shoulders sagging. “Okay,” he said quietly.

“Really?” James asked, his heart speeding up again.

“Yeah.”

James rushed towards him and pulled him against his body, running his fingers through his hair and trailing them down his jaw. “I’ll do anything,” he breathed, suddenly feeling every cell in his body ignite and catch fire. “ _Anything_ …”

Sirius made a noise and went for his mouth, pressing into his lips with a hunger, a _need_ , he’d never felt from him before…and suddenly, he had no doubt they would venture into new territory that night, and his heart started throbbing in his chest like a drum.

He caught sight of movement from his side and pulled back.

The door had appeared on the opposite wall, the brass knob shining in the torchlight, so full of possibilities.

“C’mon,” he breathed, pulling Sirius towards it, every step feeling like an eternity.

Sirius followed and they stopped just in front of it. James closed his eyes and grasped hold of both of Sirius’ hands, willing the Room to give them _exactly_ what they needed.

He wasn’t sure if it even worked like that, but it was worth a bloody try.

And when he opened his eyes again, Sirius was staring up at him, a look of awe spreading across his gorgeous face and a feeling of certainty surrounding his body.

_Tonight’s the night._

_Holy fucking shit._

***

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 😱😱😱😱😱


	43. Tonight's the Night

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥

***

~S~

Together, they pushed open the massive door.

And then Sirius’ jaw dropped.

“What the fuck?”

There was the four-poster bed, gorgeous and massive as always…the roaring fire under the hearth…the colossal chandelier casting rainbows around the room…and on top of all that, there were at least _ten_ giant candelabras with thick, white candles dripping wax down their sides…and roses… _god_ …red roses _everywhere_ ….in giant, standing vases…scattered on the floor, surrounding the bed in a dense pile…

And then he noticed a table he’d never seen before and walked towards it, his brows furrowed. There was a crystal bowl on top of it with something inside.

“What the—“ he started to say, his eyes going wide.

“Oh my god,” he heard James hiss over his shoulder.

“Is that what I think it is?” Sirius asked.

James snatched the object out of the bowl and stared at it incredulously. “Lube.”

“Wow,” Sirius breathed at a complete loss for words.

“I can’t believe the Room _did_ this,” James said, dropping the bottle back in the bowl on top of the twenty or so others. “This is _not_ what I meant,” he said, pinching the bridge of his nose and closing his eyes.

“But you mean, you _did_ imagine some of this?”

“Well I didn’t say I wanted _fifty_ bottles of fucking lube and the entire set to the _Phantom of the Opera_!” he bellowed.

Sirius stared at him for a beat with wide eyes and then promptly doubled over with laughter, clutching at his sides as he did. He was nearly howling.

“It’s not _that_ funny…” James muttered. “I just wanted it to be _special_ …”

Sirius abruptly stopped laughing and stood back up, trying to catch his breath whilst wiping under his eyes. “Oh, love…it’s perfect,” he said.

James pursed his lips at him.

There was a noise and they both whipped their heads back towards the entrance of the room where a massive cabinet had suddenly appeared in front of the doorway, blocking it by at least seven feet.

“Is that _your_ doing, too?” Sirius asked, turning to look at him with raised brows.

“Jesus Christ,” James sighed. “I was just worried that if someone were to barge in, they’d get an eye-full,” he said, completely deflating. “I did _not_ ask the Room to use a fucking _cabinet_ to block the view.”

Sirius’ face contorted as he tried to hold back his laughter, but it was nearly impossible. He bit the inside of his cheek and clenched his mouth shut.

“Just bloody say it,” James huffed, turning towards him.

“What?”

“This is a fucking disaster!”

The fire suddenly popped loudly, making them both jump.

“I think you just insulted the _Room_ ,” Sirius said, once again trying his damnedest _not_ to laugh.

James inhaled deeply and closed his eyes. “If you’d rather try this again later, I’d understand.”

Sirius licked his lips and stared at him, his heart speeding up. “Absolutely not.”

“Really?” James asked, opening his eyes, a look of awe sliding up his gorgeous face.

“Yes, really…this is _us_ ,” Sirius said, walking towards him.

“Ridiculous and over the top? Bordering on completely certifiable?”

“ _Exactly_ ,” Sirius crooned, gripping onto the lapels of his blue blazer and tugging him forward.

James just stared at him incredulously, his pupils nearly eclipsing the green of his eyes.

Sirius slid his hands up his stomach and pressed them against his swollen pecs, feeling the rapid, drum-like beat of his heart under his palms. He swallowed hard, trying to find the right words…

“Fuck me,” he breathed.

James’ eyes widened to capacity.

“Did I just say that out loud?”

“Yes,” James said, darting his tongue out and wetting his lips, never blinking.

A beat passed, the air so thick and heavy it was nearly visible, or maybe that was just the smoke from all the candelabras…

“Well?” Sirius said. “What are you waiting for?”

A strangled sort of noise escaped James’ mouth before he grabbed his face and smashed their lips together.

Sirius clutched onto his strong wrists and melted like the candles surrounding them, nearly dripping onto the floor.

Everything smelled like roses and everything tasted like James.

  
***

~J~

_Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god…_

What else was James supposed to think?

They were finally going to do it.

Even despite the insanity that his imagination had concocted.

His hands were shaking as he held Sirius’ face and kissed him with everything he had.

 _Everything_ was fucking shaking.

And he suddenly remembered that he had _no bloody clue_ what he was about to do, and that made him _angry_ …but then, _god_ …the way Sirius was kissing him…clinging onto him, _needing_ him…it made him so much _braver_ than he actually was.

_I can do this._

_We can do this._

_We WILL do this._

He backed them towards the bed, never breaking the kiss, and pushed Sirius up against it, instantly feeling his hard, throbbing cock pressing against his thigh, begging for attention.

_Okay, focus._

_FOCUS._

_This is not about his dick…this about getting yours inside him._

_Mother of god._

He felt Sirius slide his hands down and grasp hold of his belt, fiddling with it until it came unclasped, the sensation almost more than he could bear. And then Sirius ripped it off him and tossed it to the side, the metal clattering against the stone floor…and _god_ …yet again, James nearly lost it. He pulled back from his mouth and sucked in air, trying to keep his focus. “Babe… _baby_ …you’re _killing_ me…I don’t know if I’m gonna make it,” he whined, already feeling his own pre-cum drip down his thigh, his dick straining against his trousers.

Sirius clutched onto his blazer and pressed their foreheads together, breathing deeply. “Okay…we’ll go slower,” he panted.

“I’m not sure that will help,” James said, furrowing his brows in pain.

“It will,” Sirius said determinedly, leaning back and catching the firelight in his eyes.

_Dear god…_

And then he started unbuttoning his black shirt and James’ eyes widened. “No, let me,” he said, swatting his hands away. Sirius looked up at him with hungry, lusty eyes and all James could think about was how he should have wanked at least twenty more times that day, just to prepare for this moment. He clutched Sirius’ neck and kissed him again, their tongues clashing together, and then he forced himself to pull back. “God, I love you in black,” he murmured, unbuttoning his shirt the rest of the way and shivering when his fingertips grazed against his soft, porcelain skin. Sirius shivered too but didn’t say a word. James pushed the shirt off his shoulders and down his arms, his eyes sliding over his elegant collar bone and swollen pecs, down to his tight, rippling abs and even lower, to the obvious bulge in his trousers. And once again, he couldn’t resist. He grabbed hold of his cock, feeling it throb in his hand, and squeezed whilst claiming Sirius’ lips again and swallowing down his surprised groan.

“I thought we were going _slow_ ,” Sirius murmured against his mouth, his breath hot and sweet and utterly dizzying. 

“This _is_ me going slow,” James slurred, already feeling sloshed.

Sirius grasped hold of his blazer, ( _god_ why was that one of the _best_ bloody feelings in all the world?!) and he leaned towards him, “You look like a fucking public school boy in this get up,” he said by his ear, “and it makes me wanna do bad things.”

James took a shaky inhale, his cock twitching in his pants. “You can’t say things like that,” he groaned.

Sirius just pulled back with a wolfish grin and then proceeded to slide the jacket off him with finesse and let it fall to the floor. And then he wrapped his hand around his tie, like he’d done it a million times before, and tugged him down, just inches from his mouth. “ _Fuck_ me,” he breathed.

And James didn’t need to be told twice.

Well, actually he _did_ , but that was beside the point.

The next thing he knew, they were stripping their clothes off with a vengeance, and it was a race against the clock—or more like his _dick—_ to get undressed; any longer and he was liable to detonate.

***

~S~

Who had time for foreplay when you were nearly there?

That’s what Sirius thought as they stripped their clothes off, kicking them off and tossing them aside like they were on fire.

He stared at James’ naked dick hanging between his legs and his eyes nearly fell out of his head.

He’d never seen it so fucking _huge_.

_Holy hell._

And the next thing he knew, he was in James’ arms, with said dick pressing against his own, nearly making him pass out, and James was kissing him like he’d never kissed him before. It was a scared-shitless kind of kiss, laced with a desperate, passionate, I-will-do-this-and-do-it-to-the-best-of-my-ability-goddamn-it kind of undertone.

 _Of course_ James would approach sex like a _Quidditch match_. He wouldn’t have expected anything less.

And _god_ …what a kiss.

They both pulled back with just as much force as they’d gone at it, gripping onto each other for dear life and staring in each other’s eyes.

James’ were glassy and determined yet somehow dripping with affection.

_What a combination..._

“Ready?” James breathed.

Sirius licked his lips and nodded.

“I won’t hold back,” James said, “not unless you want me to.”

Sirius’ heart beat faster, his body suddenly electrified. “I don’t want you to.”

James stared at him for a beat and then went for his mouth again and backed them against the bed, his hands roaming over every inch of him, only pausing slightly when they reached his arse.

“Yes,” Sirius breathed against his mouth before sucking on his lips with abandon.

James made a noise he’d never heard before and squeezed his arse hard with both large, warm hands and Sirius couldn’t help but groan, and then James’ long fingers were slipping right between his cheeks, going straight for _that_ spot.

_Oh my god…_

James stroked him, rubbed him, caressed him like he knew _exactly_ what he was doing, nearly bringing Sirius to his knees; if it weren’t for the bed supporting him, he might have. He held onto James’ flexed biceps and kissed him with a frenzy, feeling his own cock weep with appreciation. He knew he didn’t have long. “Hurry,” he breathed against his lips, nearly seeing stars. James grunted and shoved his middle finger right inside him, making them both flinch and groan out with pleasure, their bodies snapping together.

A kind of pleasure he’d never felt before...

Never knew existed.

_Holy fucking shit._

And the next thing he knew, James was pumping his finger in and out, harder and harder, over and over, and he could barely stand it.

“I want your dick!” he nearly shouted.

James froze and then pulled out from him, going straight for the bowl of lube. He bit the lid off one of the bottles with his teeth and squirted some in his hand. Far too bloody much but Sirius didn’t care. James came for him again and kissed him fiercely, one last time, and then he turned him around, grasping hold of one of his hips and holding him steady.

“Holy shit,” Sirius heard him breathe, and then there was the sound of him slathering his dick with the lube and then silence.

Sirius dug his fingers into the gold satin duvet and held his breath, anticipating. “Go slow,” he said just above a whisper.

And then he felt the heat of James’ body, hovering behind him…could smell his aftershave and sweat and everything that he was.

_Jesus Christ._

And the next thing he felt…well…there were really no _words_.

James tugged his hips back slightly, positioning him, and then slowly, carefully, started sliding his hard-as-a-rock cock right inside his arse.

Sirius dug his nails into the bed fabric and groaned, now leaning on his elbows. He was trying to remember how to breathe but that was nearly impossible. Too much to comprehend when James Potter was shoving his dick up your arse.

“Is that okay?” James asked in a strained voice, his face just over his shoulder.

Sirius curled his toes into a pile of roses and scrunched his eyes shut. “Mmmhmm,” he noised, barely able to think.

And then James started moving. MOVING! Slowly in and out to a painful rhythm he never wanted to end. He could feel his balls slapping against his bare cheeks and the heat radiating off his chest and onto his back. James grunted by his ear, his breath hot and feral and wildly dizzying.

“ _God_ ,” Sirius groaned, unable to keep his words inside any longer. It was simply impossible; not when he was feeling things like _that_.

“Is that good?” James asked over his shoulder, increasing his rhythm and grunting louder and louder with each deliberate thrust.

“So good,” Sirius slurred, positive his dick was going to explode at any moment; it was like trying to hold back a tsunami. The pleasure pumping through his body was almost at full capacity and everything started to clench in anticipation, and then James slammed into him fucking hard, hitting something foreign and deep…something that took his breath away and pulled him right out of the atmosphere.

***

~J~

James felt Sirius stiffen and knew they didn’t have long. He slammed into him hard, glancing down and watching with eyes wide open as his own dick slid in and out, in and out, his heart pounding mercilessly against his chest.

It was too much.

_Too bloody much._

And there was the fucking _stag tattoo,_ right above Sirius’ arse.

And it was too much.

_Too bloody much._

He reached around and grabbed hold of Sirius’ dick, starting to pump it with his sweaty hand as Sirius just let go and leaned back into him, grunting with each thrust; the smell of his sweat and shampoo and aftershave forever burned in his brain.

And then James hit his limit.

Sirius Black would surely help anyone find it.

_Just fuck him in the arse and you’ll be a goner..._

He nearly laughed out loud at his absurd thoughts.

His body suddenly clenched deliciously and he felt a pool of hot pleasure consume his groin and go straight out his dick and into Sirius, like it belonged there. “I tried to hold it,” he gasped, leaning on him and continuing to pump him as the heat overwhelmed him, threatened to pull him from consciousness.

“It’s perfect,” Sirius said in a strangled voice, his muscles clenched tight and his dick finally erupting in his hand, his hot cum going everywhere...down his hand, on the bed, all over the roses...And if James hadn’t been so utterly blinded by pleasure, he would have eagerly lapped it up.

Sirius’ cum was _holy,_ after all.

He carefully pulled out of him, shivering as he did, and gripped hold of his shoulders, turning him around.

“It’s perfect,” Sirius said again, his blue eyes glassy and his raven hair gloriously and perfectly _fucked_.

 _Sirius_ was _fucked_ and it was entirely perfect.

James zeroed in on his mouth and kissed him, tasting salt and something more. Sirius moaned into his lips and clasped onto his biceps weakly, leaning most of his weight against the bed.

And James’ heart throbbed like never before.

***

~S~

_Jesus fucking Christ._

The feel of James inside him.

The feel of his dick…the feel of his warm, creamy cum filling him up from the inside out…the feel of his body…the feel of his mouth…

It was all just an unreal explosion of sensations.

And he’d thought blowjobs and handjobs were _out of this world_?

_You’ve got to be fucking kidding me._

This took the cake.

The whole fucking cake and the entire fucking bakery for that matter.

He’d just been fucked.

Wholly, properly, royally…

 _Finally_.

_Goddamn._

There was no turning back now.

The stars were the limit.

***

~J~

“We did it, babe…we _really_ did it…” James said, blinking slowly and pulling Sirius up onto the bed with him, feeling as if his entire body were buzzing and melting at the same time.

“Mmm we did,” Sirius hummed. “We fucked.”

James chuckled deeply and pulled him into his arms, feeling beyond loopy.

Maybe this was what it felt like to be totally, magnificently _sloshed_ …

But who needed _alcohol_ when you had Sirius-fucking-Black?

_Nothing could compare._

Sirius snuggled into his side, resting his palm on his bare pec and slowly rubbing his thumb back and forth over his nipple.

James smiled sleepily and turned his face to the side and kissed him on the forehead, tasting his salty sweat. “Do you still love me?” he asked, his lips pressed against his skin.

“With all my heart…” Sirius breathed, turning slightly in his arms and placing a tender kiss to his throat.

James hugged him closer and sighed, feeling so utterly full he thought he might die.

There was really nothing more to say.

***

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ⭐️🕯🌹⭐️🕯🌹⭐️🕯🌹⭐️🕯🌹⭐️🕯🌹⭐️🕯🌹⭐️🕯🌹⭐️🕯🌹⭐️🕯
> 
> FINALLY!!!!🎉🎉🎉 I hope I did them justice!!! ⭐️🐺❤️🦌🤗


	44. The Afterglow

***

~S~

The fire popped and Sirius stirred.

He blinked his eyes open and immediately started smiling.

Was any of that even _real_?

He could feel James’ heart beating, his face pressed against his bare breast.

_Yes, it was real._

He inhaled deeply, holding the air in his lungs.

_Roses…so many bloody roses._

He blinked again and looked around.

The white candles had melted down to stubs.

How long had they laid there?

Maybe they needed some kind of—

A giant brass clock suddenly appeared on the wall just as soon as he’d thought it.

_Half past four._

He hated to move at all, still nearly paralyzed in his blissful state, but sneaking back to their dorm whilst everyone else was still asleep was the safest option.

He turned in James’ arms so he could prop himself up on his chest, and stared at him.

James stirred and grunted, his sweaty, tousled hair now dry and his pink lips swollen and slightly parted. He stared fixedly at his eyelashes. How had he never noticed just how _curly_ they were?

 _Christ_.

James was just too much.

Just like the way he fucked…

Sirius shivered and started to grin, just remembering.

How were they gonna keep their hands off each other now?

It was bad before…but _now_?

The Room was literally the _only_ place they could do this.

It just wasn’t possible to be quiet whilst banging it out.

James made a noise and opened his eyes, a sleepy smile instantly spreading across his handsome face. “Mmm, babe,” he said in a husky voice.

Sirius swallowed hard.

“What are you thinking about?” James asked, resting his warm hands on the back of his arms.

“Your eyelashes,” Sirius replied, leaning closer to his face.

James closed his eyes and chuckled, the delicious sound vibrating all the way down to Sirius’ toes.

“My _eyelashes_?”

“Mmmhmm. They’re fucking perfect.”

James grinned broadly and opened his eyes again. “No, what’s fucking perfect is _you_ …and everything about this night.”

Sirius blushed and scooted up his body even further, still propped on his elbows. “Even the candles? And the roses? And the _lube_?” he crooned.

James chuckled deeply again, the sound raising all the hairs on Sirius’ body.

“ _Especially_ the lube.”

Sirius snickered and brushed a piece of hair back from James’ face with his fingertips, tucking it carefully behind his ear. “I guess we should probably take some with us…It’ll probably disappear once we leave.”

“True,” James said, rubbing his thumbs lazily back and forth on his arms.

“And we should probably head back to the dorm soon…” Sirius sighed, hating to be the bearer of bad news. “We didn’t bring the Cloak with us.”

James grunted and frowned, sliding his hands up to cup Sirius’ face.

Sirius’ eyes automatically closed at his touch and he felt like melting all over again.

“I love you,” James said, rubbing his thumbs under his eyes.

Sirius’ heart throbbed in his chest. “I love you, too.”

“And are you happy? I mean, was it _good_?” James croaked out, his sharp cheekbones flushing and his mouth pulling tight.

Sirius smiled and leaned down towards him, his hair falling forward and dusting James’ forehead. “Was it _good_?” he repeated. “Love, it was the best fucking night of my life…fifty bottles of lube and all.”

James grinned with relief, suddenly looking thirteen again, and then he pulled Sirius’ face down even further, pausing for a beat, and then pressing their lips together.

 _Good_ didn’t even come close.

  
***

~J~

At breakfast, Remus eyed them both suspiciously, probably wondering why in the world they looked so completely fucked when he’d clearly seen them get out of separate beds that morning.

Even James was surprised he still felt loopy.

And was he going mad or was his face somehow _glowing_?

He’d stared at his reflection a long time that morning, trying to figure out what was different.

But it was hard to think.

Everything just seemed so completely blissful…

He watched Sirius squirming on the bench seat next to him, clearly trying to get comfortable.

Obviously, his arse was still sore.

And his heart sped up just thinking about it.

_Nope._

_Don’t go there._

_Do. Not. Go. There._

“Sirius, are you alright?” Remus’ voice came.

Sirius immediately quit squirming and froze.

“Yeah, I’m fine…Everything’s good.”

Remus stared at him, narrowing his eyes, clearly not convinced.

“Did you two have a late night?”

James’ breath caught. “Sort of…” he managed to get out, now starting to squirm, but for entirely different reasons.

“How late?” Peter asked, pursing his lips.

“What is this, a bloody interrogation?” James huffed. “ _Late_.”

But they didn’t seem satisfied.

“You need to be careful,” Remus said, pointing his fork at him as if it were a weapon. “You don’t want to get caught.”

“Really, Moony? You think?” James huffed. “Don’t worry, we’ll be fine.”

Remus just stared at him, unblinking.

_Yep, he definitely suspects something’s different…_

~~~

Quite the opposite of their thrilling night, they spent the rest of the day trying to get caught up on lessons. Midterms were coming up soon and the amount of work being piled on them was insufferable.

And on top of all that, how in the world was James supposed to concentrate on _anything_ after what had just happened?

He wished he could just bottle the memories up and take them out anytime he wanted…re-live the night again and again…

He needed to find a time for them to get back to the Room and _ASAP_.

“Love?”

“Hmm?” he noised, looking up from the fire.

“Did you hear anything I just said?” Sirius asked. He was sitting cross-legged on the floor by the fire, nearly buried in a pile of books.

“Sorry, no,” James replied, starting to grin.

Sirius pursed his lips and then grinned back like a fiend, his eyes dark and shining, and then _god_ …

_That fucking tooth._

There it was. The single pointy canine poking barely over his bottom lip…The one that made James wanna flip tables and howl at the goddamn moon.

Maybe Moony was wearing off on him more than he’d realized...

He shook his head, trying to get ahold of himself. “Erm, what was the question?”

Sirius smirked. “It wasn’t a question, I just said we need to make sure we’ve thoroughly practiced our _nonverbal spells_ …because Frank said they’d definitely be on the exam.”

“Right...” he said, still trying to calm his heart.

“What’d I miss?” Remus asked, plopping down in the over-stuffed armchair with a stack of books in his arms.

“Nonverbal spells,” James said, still staring at Sirius with lusty eyes.

Sirius just shook his head and turned back to flipping through his book, his wand clenched between his teeth.

_Maybe if I told him I needed to get a book from the library…we could go to the Room instead…_

But then again, Lily and Snivellus were supposed to have it…Though he wasn’t sure if they’d even be using it after what Lily had confessed to the night before. It seemed like trouble in paradise… 

“Did you hear about the seventh floor?” Peter asked, plopping down on the couch with a giant bag of licorice.

“Huh?” James noised, whipping his head up.

“Just that it’s closed for the rest of the week whilst they restore a tapestry…Apparently some painted chap named Barnabas was nearly bludgeoned to death by some angry trolls in tutus…Though it sounds pretty absurd to me…Maybe Gilderoy was just pulling my leg…He _does_ like to make up outlandish stories.”

“What?” James croaked.

“Gilderoy…the blonde chap I play chess with…”

James couldn’t speak.

He’d just seen a week of lost opportunities flash before his eyes.

_What the fuck?_

Was this some kind of sick joke?

They couldn’t get to the Room for a _week_? All because of a bloody tapestry that no one even cared about or knew existed?

_Are you kidding me?!_

“But I don’t really see why it matters,” Peter said, biting off another piece of licorice. “No one uses that corridor anyway…”

James and Sirius both stared at each other with clenched jaws and black eyes.

_Fucking perfect._

***

~S~

“We’ll be fine, love,” Sirius whispered to James as they walked back up to their room, cross-eyed and brain dead from studying for six bloody hours straight.

“Fine?” James hissed, his tired, droopy eyes suddenly coming back to life. “ _Fine?_ ”

Sirius nearly laughed. “What I mean is…it’s not _forever_ …maybe we can find another place for the time being… _and_ we have a lot of other things to focus on right now—like Apparition lessons and the next Quidditch match.”

James just looked at him incredulously. “You _would_ be calm about this,” he snapped.

And the look on his face… _dear_ _god_ …Sirius couldn’t help but laugh.

“I know…I know…the bloody _sensible_ one,” he heard James mutter under his breath.

“James, it’s only a _week_ …and I bet if we get creative, we can find someplace else. And if not, I’m pretty sure _going down on you_ in a broom cupboard will suffice—” he said, pushing the door open, only to come face to face with Moony.

Remus’ eyes widened and his cheeks flushed.

“Shit,” Sirius said under his breath, pushing past him.

Now _James_ was the one chuckling.

 _Well, at least it made him laugh,_ Sirius thought, shaking his head and dropping his books on top of his trunk at the end of his bed.

Remus left the room in a hurry with his toiletries in hand, obviously headed to the loo.

“ _What_ are you gonna do in a broom cupboard?” Peter asked.

“Jesus!” Sirius yelped, clutching at his heart. “I didn’t see you there.”

Peter was lounging on his bed, his ankles crossed, still eating licorice like his life depended on it.

“Nothing that concerns _you_ ,” James piped in, pulling his pajamas out of his chest of drawers.

Peter just chomped his licorice and narrowed his eyes.

***

~J~

“Love?”

“Hmm?”

“Love?”

James blinked his eyes open.

It was Sirius, hovering over him on his bed, his dark hair shrouding his face.

“What is it?” James slurred, trying to sit up, suddenly afraid something was wrong.

“No, it’s okay,” Sirius whispered, pushing him back into his pillows and climbing over top him.

James may have been only half-awake, but his _cock_ certainly wasn’t.

“What’re you—”

And then he felt Sirius’ lips, burning against his own, pulling him back to consciousness like a house on fire. He groaned and slid his hands up to his hips, grasping hold and pushing him down into his groin.

“I see you haven’t lost it,” Sirius purred, his lips now pressed against his ear and his breath hot and maddening.

James made a noise and turned his head to the side, straining for his mouth again.

If this were some kind of _wet dream_ , he was gonna milk it for all it was worth.

Sirius kissed him deep and dug his fingers into his hair, scratching his scalp with his nails.

_Oh my god…_

And then he pulled back again and pressed his lips to his ear, “I just don’t want you to be mad…”

“I’m not mad,” James breathed, his heart racing and his eyes clamped shut.

“Because last night was bloody perfect…” Sirius continued, now planting little kisses all over his face. “And we’ll have that again…” He kissed the tip of his nose. “We just can’t expect it _every_ night.”

“Mmm,” James noised. “But I want you every night…forever and ever.”

Sirius chuckled quietly and pecked his lips.

James strained for more.

And then he felt Sirius’ thumb, pressing against his bottom lip.

“And one day you _can_ have that…” Sirius whispered, leaning closer to his face, “But for now, let me take care of you…”

James’ eyes widened and he tried to speak, but Sirius was still pressing his finger to his lips, silencing him. “Now, I need you to be very…very… _quiet_ ,” he purred again by his ear, his hot breath tickling the shell and leaving him utterly stupefied.

And the next thing he felt was Sirius sliding down his body like a cat, untying his pajama bottoms and pushing them down his thighs.

_Dear god…_

And he wanted to yell out when he felt Sirius’ hot, wet tongue stroking the length of his dick and torturing the living daylights out of him, but he obeyed and kept his mouth shut.

And he wanted to shout obscenities into the void when Sirius swallowed him whole, deep-throating him like a fiend, and sucking him to a near inch of his life, but he obeyed and kept his mouth shut.

He couldn’t however, keep quiet when Sirius crawled back up his body, swollen lipped and grinning, smelling like clean soap and his own cum. No one could keep silent at _that_. “Thank you,” James breathed, his heart still pounding mercilessly and his brain filled with fluff. “I needed that.”

“I know you did,” Sirius purred, hovering just an inch from his mouth. “I won’t ever let you do without.”

James’ heart swelled and he started to smile. “You’re too good to me,” he murmured. “Even when I’m a dick.”

Sirius kissed his mouth and caught his bottom lip between his teeth, biting down gently. “And _you’re_ too good to me,” his whispered, letting his lip go. “So we’re even.”

James sighed and wrapped his arms around his back, now feeling much more hopeful about the future.

So what if they didn’t have the Room for a bloody week?

In the grand scheme of things, he had _Sirius_...in his bed…and in his arms…

And that was all that really mattered.

***

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 🎉🤗🛏❤️⭐️🦌🎉


	45. Not Fast Enough

***

~S~

The next morning Sirius woke to find himself still nestled in James’ warm arms. It just seemed utterly impossible to stay out of them at this point...

If James wasn’t within his reach, then he was too bloody far.

It was that simple.

He scrunched his eyes shut and squeezed the arm James had wrapped possessively around his waist, thinking about all that had transpired.

Things were different now.

 _Very_ _different._

For one, he’d been fucked.

_Out of my mind._

For two, the ache in his heart was about a thousand times worse.

_Why is love so goddamn painful?_

And for three, he was _sore_.

_Like a bitch._

Thank _god_ they’d at least had _lube_ …fifty bottles to be precise, much to James’ mortification. He must have really thought they’d burn right through the stuff…or else the Room had just interpreted his dire _need_ in that particular way...

Regardless, one thing was undeniably clear—next time, Sirius needed to be much more _loose_ before James just pounded into him like an animal, and then maybe he’d at least be able to _sit_ without wanting to scream. 

_Lesson learned._

They didn’t have a text book after all.

It was a learn-as-you-go kind of situation.

But Sirius was _more than willing_ to put in the time and effort it would take to master this particular _skill_ …In fact, as soon as his arse allowed, he was ready to study day and night…

James made a noise and drew him in closer to his body, caging him against his chest; his hot, steady breath blowing against the back of his neck.

Sirius smiled serenely and snuggled into him, feeling warm in all the right places. 

And then he felt James stiffen. “You’re still here?” his raspy voice came. “Am I dreaming?”

Sirius chuckled quietly and carefully turned round in his arms to face him. “No, love,” he whispered, “I just fell asleep here last night. Moony and Wormtail are still sleeping, though.”

A sexy, sleepy grin slid up James’ perfect face making Sirius’ heart melt like butter on hot toast.

_Oh. my. god._

“Good,” James said, delicately cupping the side of his face and rubbing his thumb across his cheekbone.

Sirius beamed at him, suddenly feeling ridiculously shy; he ran his hands up James’ warm chest and curled his fingers into the collar of his silky pajama top. 

“Wanna get frisky?” James asked, his eyes still half-closed and his lips pulling up into a smug grin.

“Do you even have to ask?”

And the next thing he knew, James had pulled him flush against his warm body and claimed his lips with abandon, his hands gliding over his pajama bottoms and going straight for his arse; he squeezed him hard, _ravenously_ , just before his wandering fingers slipped right between his cheeks.

_Oh god…_

_Oh fuck…_

Sirius arched under his touch, feeling faint, everything in him literally _screaming_ for more, but then James rubbed him a little _too_ vigorously and he jolted, suddenly recalling his _issue_.

“What’s wrong? Did I hurt you?”

“No…it’s just…I’m _sore_ ,” Sirius said, feeling his face heat.

James pulled back and stared at him, blinking slowly, a look of embarrassment laced with guilt suddenly flashing across his eyes, and then, worst of all, _failure_. He swallowed hard and stared down at the bed, looking as if he were about to cry.

_Oh shit._

_He thinks he’s rubbish at sex._

“No—James…it’s not like that…It was bloody perfect, I swear to god. It’s just because it was our _first_ time…and I probably needed to be…you know… _prepped_ a little more.”

Now Sirius’ ears were burning.

 _Everything_ was fucking burning, but _not_ in a sexy way.

Were they really discussing the state of his _arse_ right now? _Really?!_

“Prepped?”

_Merlin, he’s still not getting it…_

_Shoot me._

He slid his hands up and cupped James’ face, like he would a child, getting his full attention. “James… _sweetie_ , in case you weren’t aware…your dick is fucking huge.”

A beat passed between them as they both just stared at each other, and then James snorted loudly, his eyes scrunching shut, and Sirius quickly clamped a hand over his mouth before they were both doubling in on themselves, laughing wildly, yet _silently,_ and making the bed shake.

When Sirius finally caught his breath he leaned towards James’ ear, “And before we bang it out next time,” he breathed, trying not to laugh, “I’m gonna need your fingers, all up in my arse, working their magic.”

_Yep, I totally just said that._

_Wow._

James started heaving noiselessly, his face turning maroon. “I can do that,” he finally said, his green eyes glassy.

But mostly, he looked utterly _relieved_.

And sometimes, Sirius forgot just how fragile his ego could be. James always put on such a believable, convincing front, but underneath all those flashing trophies and beguiling charms, there was a self-doubting little boy, just trying his damnedest to win the approval of the entire world. To be _seen_. Accepted. Good enough. And Sirius loved that little bloke with all his heart…would even make a damn fool of himself just to see him smile.

“I know you can,” he crooned, leaning towards him. “And my arse is _very_ appreciative.”

James grinned so wide the skin around his eyes crinkled. “I’ll do anything for that _arse_ ,” he said in a low, sexy voice, clearly trying to keep a straight face.

_God, I love this git…_

Sirius grinned and leaned forward, kissing his soft, parted lips and instantly feeling a jolt of electricity shoot straight through his body, bringing his cock to full attention and simultaneously frying his brain; it always seemed to go like that. And then James was running a hand through his hair, from root to tip, lazily dragging his fingers back and kissing him slowly, like something from a goddamn dream, making everything wonderfully hazy and warm. “You know,” James said, pulling back from his lips by a mere centimeter, “It’s probably better we _can’t_ use the Room this week…for the sake of your _arse_.”

Sirius chuckled quietly and kissed his lips again, another rush of heat and giddiness sweeping over him. “Only you,” he murmured, gripping onto his swollen bicep and straining for his mouth again.

“Hmm?” James noised.

“You’re literally the _only_ one I could have such extensive conversations with about my _arse_.”

James grinned against his lips, “One of the many perks of fucking your best friend,” he breathed.

And Sirius’ heart did a back flip.

_Fuck yeah it is._

He clasped onto James’ chin and smashed their lips together.

  
***

~S~

_Apparition_ was the talk of the school that Monday.

The weekly lessons would be taking place every Sunday afternoon for twelve weeks, ending with a final exam in which students were required to successfully apparate every part of their body from Hogwarts to Hogsmeade, a skill Sirius was both scared-shitless _and_ excited to learn.

He’d done countless daft and dangerous things in his short life, most ventured into without a second’s hesitation, (or a single brain cell) but something about accidentally _splinching_ parts of his body off, made him feel uneasy.

“Wormtail’s really not gonna try for it?” James asked Remus as they all headed down for Quidditch practice that afternoon.

“Nope. Says he’d rather try next year,” Remus said with a shrug.

“It’s probably better that way,” Sirius piped in. “He can barely do _simple_ magic…If he apparated, he’d probably just cut himself in half…”

James and Remus both snorted and shook their heads.

“True,” James said. “Helping him become an Animagus was _by_ _far_ the most advanced magic he’ll ever see. He would have swallowed that bloody mandrake leaf if we hadn’t charmed it to stick to the roof of his mouth for a month.”

Sirius made a noise in agreement, suddenly having flashbacks to their “Month From Hell” in which they all underwent the process to become Animagi. He’d nearly given up on it if not for James’ bloody determination. Obtaining not one, but _three_ Death’s-head Hawk Moth chrysalis’ _and_ having to wait for a lightning storm, proved to be the most challenging pre-requisites of the ambitious endeavor, well _that_ and making sure Wormy didn’t swallow his mandrake leaf…He absently rubbed at his chest, remembering the very unsettling feeling of having two heartbeats instead of one right before his first change…And boy had he been surprised when his Animagus had turned out to be a common _dog_ , and not in fact something fucking cool like a lion, or better yet, a _hippogriff_.

James opened the door to the locker room and Frank Longbottom bounded up to them, “Ready to _crush_ some Ravenclaw?” he asked with the enthusiasm of a five-year-old.

 _God, he’s always so bloody chipper…_ Sirius thought with a sneer.

“Save it for the match, Longbottom!” James chuckled. 

“Well, I think our prospects are looking good,” Frank said as he sat down on the bench and started lacing up his boots. “Their Seeker is still stuck in bed with the flu so they’ll be using an alternate. That gives us a massive advantage!”

“Brilliant!” Sirius said, slightly mocking his enthusiasm as he opened his locker and started pulling out his gear. “And let’s just hope it’s not _raining_ and then we should really be grand!”

Just then, a massive boom of thunder shook the building, making everyone flinch.

“Bloody hell,” James groaned.

“Maybe I spoke too soon,” Sirius grimaced.

~~~

They only managed to get in about thirty minutes of practice before lightening was streaking the sky white and the angry dark clouds were dumping buckets on their heads.

“Everyone strip down and get in the showers ASAP! I can’t have you all getting fucking colds!” James barked as they all piled back into the locker room, tracking in mud and turning the floor into a lake.

Sirius shot him a sideways glance and couldn’t help but smirk. _God_ , how he loved it when he was bossy. James could order him around anytime.

_If he only knew…_

James just grinned back and headed for his shower, tilting his head slightly and beckoning for him to follow.

A thrill went up Sirius’ spine.

_Oh boy…_

He quickly assessed the room, making sure everyone else was in their respective showers, and then slipped into James’ with a pounding heart.

James chuckled as soon as he saw him and grabbed the front of his uniform, yanking him forward roughly and crashing their bodies together, and before Sirius could even speak, James was claiming his lips with a gusto and melting his bones to ash. He sighed against his mouth and clasped onto his biceps for support, losing all track of time and space.

Eventually, they pulled apart and stared at each other, their eyes glazed over and breathing labored, looking like drowned rats, but Sirius was plenty warm now and he had no doubt James was, too.

A squeaky faucet suddenly turned off and they both jumped apart, their feet slapping against the wet floor.

“Hurry!” Sirius hissed with wide eyes.

James started laughing as they both stripped their clothes off with a vengeance and fought to stand under the shower.

“Move over!” Sirius hissed.

“I can’t!” James grunted, pushing against his side.

Sirius planted his feet and held his ground, refusing to budge whilst snickering the whole time.

“You little shit,” James laughed, finally pulling him into his arms and against his slick body from behind, the hot water running over them.

And suddenly, they weren’t laughing anymore.

“God, the things I’d like to do to you,” James said in a low, hungry voice that Sirius literally felt in the innermost parts of his dick, incinerating him from the inside out. James’ chin was rested on his shoulder and his face pressed against his own, and _god_...it was just too fucking much…and then James had the _audacity_ to slide his hands down his abs and rest them on his hips, his long, lithe fingers fanning out slowly and grazing the hair at the base of his cock, just enough to drive him wild.

_Oh fuck._

_Oh shit._

And then he became painfully aware of James’ dick, hard and warm and wanting, pressing against his bare arse, just begging to be let inside.

_Dear god he’s gonna kill me._

He groaned and leaned back against him, his eyes fluttering shut.

_Fuuuuuuuck._

And then he tried to get ahold of himself.

_No._

_Not here._

_Not now._

Much to the violent protests of his body, he turned around in James’ arms. “Love, we _can’t_ …not here…not _now_ …” And it came out so whiny and so unconvincing, he suddenly realized just how _weak_ he was. But who the fuck wouldn’t be with James Potter’s perfect dick pressed against their arse?!

James’ eyes narrowed to his mouth, his green eyes full of lust. His plush lips pouted as the water continued to run down his chest and over his mouthwatering clenched abs…and for one moment, Sirius actually considered throwing caution to the wind and _doing it_ …right then and there for all to hear and see.

_Maybe…_

But then a locker door slammed shut and he nearly jumped out of his skin. “We’ll take care of this _later_ ,” he gulped, glancing down at James’ cock.

_Mother of God._

“Okay,” James huffed, his shoulders sagging.

Sirius snatched his towel off the hook and wrapped it around his hips. He took one last, lingering look at James, hating to leave him in such a state, and then dashed out of the shower, promptly sliding across the wet floor and slamming right into Frank Longbottom.

“Oi!” he yelped, flailing his arms around and trying to regain his balance.

Frank grabbed hold of his bicep and steadied him, staring down at him with furrowed brows, “My shower’s free if you need one…” he said.

“Oh, well, we like to conserve water…and you know, it’s just _nudity_ …” Sirius said with a nervous chuckle. “I mean…just lads sharing a shower! Nothing strange about that!” He grimaced and then walked straight to his locker, his face as hot as a coal.

_Bloody hell…_

“Okay,” Frank said, still sounding confused.

A few painful moments later and James sauntered out of the shower with just a maroon towel slung painfully low around his hips, his muscular torso dripping wet and a mischievous grin plastered on his gorgeous face.

_Dear god, no._

_Just no._

Sirius shot him a glance and gulped.

And then James _deliberately_ brushed against his arse as he walked past him, and the back of Sirius’ neck burned from the inevitable stare that Frank was shooting him. He pretended to be rummaging for something in his locker, too anxious to turn around.

“Well, I’ll see you lads back at the commons!” Frank said.

“Yeah, see you,” he croaked, his head still deep inside his locker, looking about as inconspicuous as an ostrich with his head in the sand.

“Are you trying to hide in there, babe?” James asked teasingly, coming up beside him.

Sirius pulled his head out and exhaled heavily. “Frank saw us.”

“What?!”

“Yeah, he saw me when I got out of your shower. Stared at me strange. Then I said something mental about nudity and lads showering together to conserve water…”  
  
“What?!”

Sirius chewed on his thumbnail and stared at the ground.

“Bloody hell…”

“Yeah, I know. Not one of my most _brilliant_ covers…but I guess it was just a matter of time before he found out anyway…”

“Well, we don’t know for sure that he saw anything,” James said. “We’ll just have to be extra careful.”

Sirius shrugged. “I mean, I wouldn’t care if he knew…I think he might be fine with it…but for our own sakes, the fewer people that know, the _better_. I mean, can you _imagine_ what Slytherin would do with this information?”

“I agree,” James huffed, crossing his arms. “Well, hurry up and get dressed before you catch cold.”

And there was an irritated edge to his voice that Sirius didn’t miss.

“Hey,” he said, staring up at him, his stomach twisting anxiously. “You’re not _mad_ at me, right?”

“No…I’m not mad at you…just tired and frustrated with having to keep _us_ a secret,” James whispered. “I hate having to constantly worry about it.”

“Maybe it won’t be forever,” Sirius said, reaching out and gently squeezing his forearm between both hands. “Things are changing…”

Another shower faucet cut off and they both instinctively jumped apart.

“Not fast enough…” James sighed.

***


	46. Apparition and Asinine Adventures

***

~J~

The week was packed with insufferable lessons, library study sessions orchestrated by a very persnickety Moony, and late night Quidditch practices in preparation for their big game against Ravenclaw that weekend. 

And Sirius had been right, they _did_ survive without the Room for a week…though not without a few unsavory tantrums and lots of late-night blowjobs, and whilst that was great and all, James still ached to do _so much more_. But he just kept telling himself to be _patient_ ; they would have their chance again…and when they did, _Merlin_ was he gonna make up for lost time.

~~~

The Quidditch match against Ravenclaw took place during a torrential downpour and Gryffindor still managed to pull off a win. The final scores were much closer than James would have preferred, but when all was said and done, he was just relieved to get it over with and out of the freezing rain. No one had been seriously injured and he and Sirius were back together, doing what they did best—fucking _dominating_.

The team celebrated the night away in the Gryffindor common room with confetti poppers and mini-fireworks in front of a roaring fire. But even despite the exhilaration and relief from their victory, the only thing James really wanted was to be alone with his man. Private moments seemed to be far and few between lately. Life just kept getting in the way.

“Have you tried the apple strudel?” Sirius asked around a mouthful, bits of crust scattering onto his maroon jumper.

James just smiled at him endearingly, his heart swelling against his chest.

“What? Well, _have_ you?”

“No, but I _will_ ,” he replied with a smirk.

“The strawberry tarts are to-die-for!” Peter exclaimed as he sat on the floor and gorged on yet another pastry, his plate piled nearly a foot high with sweets.

“So you’re still not gonna try Apparition lessons tomorrow?” Remus asked before sipping on his mug of hot chocolate.

“Naw, not dis’ year,” Peter said with a mouthful, his stubby fingers dripping with something terribly gooey.

“Well, it’s what _we’ll_ be doing every Sunday for the next few months,” James said tiredly, leaning his head back on the velvet chair and watching the fire crackle and snap.

“I wish they’d let us do Apparition lessons on school days,” Sirius sighed. “I hate to give up _Sundays_.”

And James suddenly realized they’d be losing _yet another_ day to be together…Well they’d _be_ together, but certainly not in the way he wanted.

“Yeah, but just think,” Remus said excitedly, “eventually, we’ll be able to literally appear and disappear _anywhere_ at will. No more Floo Network, no more bloody London traffic…”

“True,” Sirius sighed. “I won’t miss the traffic…and I think I’ve always been allergic to Floo powder anyway...I hate that bloody stuff.”

James snickered to himself, suddenly remembering when they were fourteen and Sirius had sneezed just as he’d said _Piccadilly Circus_ and ended up at a _real_ circus five miles outside of town. By the time he’d found him, Sirius was puking up his blue candy floss and popcorn and hopping mad. Needless to say, they avoided the Floo Network at all costs after that.

“So have you two thought about your summer plans yet?” Remus asked, licking his lips.

James and Sirius both exchanged nervous glances. 

“Well, we’ll definitely be at James’ house for _part_ of it…” Sirius said. “We promised we’d help some with the bakery…and then we have the Quidditch World Cup at the end of the summer…” he trailed off, staring at James as he said it.

“No, I mean about _jobs_ …” Remus huffed. “Because I’m thinking of trying out for an internship at the Ministry. Nothing glamorous. I’d probably just be delivering messages or polishing cauldrons…But it would at least give me an _opportunity_ to possibly rise higher in the system.”

Sirius shot James an apprehensive glance and James squirmed in his seat.

“But are you sure that’s _wise_ …what with your _condition_ and all?” Sirius asked with raised brows.

Remus scrunched his face in annoyance, his lips pursing in a thin line. “Well, I think I can handle it…I mean I’d only be out a few days a month. I was thinking of asking Dumbledore for help, actually…Like maybe he could write a recommendation letting them know I have some _rare_ condition that causes me to be indisposed once a month or something.”

 _Yeah, it’s rare all right…_ James thought, feeling uneasy about the whole thing.

But the look in Remus’ eyes was far too hopeful to be dashed by his doubts, so he just nodded in agreement and smiled, whilst inwardly worrying over the prospects of a _werewolf_ working at the Ministry of Magic, even if he was just _polishing cauldrons_. He had visions of Remus losing his shit, biting and slashing innocent witches and wizards to pieces, whilst papers, cauldrons, and wands swirled around him like a tornado.

_How can Moony possibly make it in the real world without us having his back?_

He flicked his eyes up to see Sirius, wearing a sad, half-smile, likely thinking the exact same thing.

_Yeah, I don’t see this going well…_

He sighed and picked up Sirius’ plate from the table, taking a giant forkful of his apple strudel and shoving it in his mouth.

_Merlin!_

“Mmm, you’re right, dis’ is the best strudel…maybe _ever_ …I need to get mum and dad on dis’,” he said around his mouthful. “It’d sell like hotcakes at the bakery…”

“Yes, it would,” Sirius said smugly, leaning back in his chair, his glassy eyes half-lidded and his dark hair sprinkled with bits of gold confetti that sparkled and caught the firelight.

And James’ heart suddenly started beating harder. Oh how he wished he could just scoop him up and carry him to bed where they could cuddle and snog the night away! He smiled to himself, picturing the dumbfounded expressions on people’s faces if he did.

_Maybe one day…_

Instead, he just leaned his head back and savored the moment.

The fire was so warm, and his muscles were so deliciously sore, and his eyelids became so impossibly heavy, that he had no choice but to close them, and without even meaning to, he drifted off to sleep...

And it wasn’t until the wee hours of the morning, when Sirius was softly stroking his face with warm fingertips and kissing his forehead with familiar lips, that he roused again and followed him up to bed, confetti fluttering to the floor as they went.

  
***

~J~

The Gryffindors that were eligible to attend Apparition lessons the next afternoon were still groggy and hungover from their wild night before. Not that they’d actually consumed _alcohol_ during their revelry, but copious amounts of pumpkin fizz and sugary sweets were enough to make anyone feel like shit.

James smiled sleepily at Sirius as they stood in the Great Hall. The massive room had been magically cleared of its wooden tables and benches so they’d have more room to practice. Frank and Remus stood next to them, yawning continuously, and then Lily and Snape walked in together, and James couldn’t help but notice Goyle, blatantly scowling at the couple, probably the reason they were acting so aloof.

Overall, there were about fifty students in attendance.

“Wormtail’s gonna regret not getting this over with,” Remus said, shaking his head. “He’s gonna have an even harder time passing without our help…”

“Yeah,” Sirius said, stifling a yawn, “but some people just aren’t cut out for it.”

“Please, sign up here!” a high, squeaky voice said.

Professor Flitwick was standing on a table, holding a quill in one hand and a giant scroll in the other.

Students quickly lined up to pay their twelve Galleons and give their names.

Professor McGonagall then glided into the room and a hush fell over the crowd. She swept her velvet, emerald robes back and pulled out her wand, holding it to her throat, “Attention! Attention!” she said in a shrill voice that made all the sleep-deprived Gryffindors wince.

“Bloody hell,” James moaned, “I feel like I’ve got a hangover…and I’ve never even been _properly_ drunk.”

“Well, there was that one time with the _Butterbeer_ ,” Sirius said ribbing his side. “And how can we forget about Slughorn’s _wine_?”

James chuckled.

“Attention! Today, we will begin preparing for your Apparition test which will be held at the end of this school year. It is required that you attend each lesson and participate in each evaluation to chart your progress. Apparition is not to be taken lightly—those who are careless are likely to lose _life_ or _limb_. We will cover the horrors of “splinching” in a later lesson, but be warned—this is a _serious_ feat for any witch or wizard and I ask that you proceed with caution and sobriety,” she said, briefly glancing at a yawning Frank Longbottom, her eye twitching slightly. “Now, everyone spread out, yes like that, and stand in front of your hoop…”

James wondered what in the world she meant by a _hoop_ , but then he looked down to see a large, golden metal ring on the floor just in front of him. He winced and wiped his sweaty palms down the sides of his trousers, glancing wearily at Sirius. This whole ordeal sounded much more grave than he’d anticipated. Now, all he could _think_ about was “splinching” himself…

_Maybe Sirius was right to be anxious…_

  
***

~S~

Sirius swallowed down the lump in his throat with difficulty and took a deep breath. _Now_ he understood why Peter bailed. Apparating sounded perfectly dreadful; even worse than he’d imagined. Of course he’d heard of “splinching” before, but he’d always been told it was a _rare_ occurrence and prayed that were in fact _true_. Unfortunately, McGonagall made it seem like a _real_ possibility.

He stared at James with a worried look and then leaned towards him, “Okay, worst case scenario, you apparate and leave your _dick_ behind…”

James snorted, his cheeks flushing pink. “I was thinking more like my _vital organs_ …but okay.”

“Your dick is _vital_ to me,” Sirius hissed, his eyes bulging.

James just snickered and covered his mouth.

“Now, for this first lesson we will go over the _fundamentals_ of apparating and practice some mind-body awareness exercises…” McGonagall droned on, nearly putting everyone to sleep.

And then a throat cleared from the side of the room, claiming their attention, and a pale man who appeared to be _ancient_ , or perhaps in his thirties, stepped forward.

“Oh yes,” the Professor said, almost with a blush (if it were even possible for her to do so), “This is your _official_ Apparition instruction, Wilkie Twycross, from the Ministry of Magic.”

The thin, almost translucent man walked to the center of the room and smiled, clasping his long, white hands together. Either he’d just apparated there, or he’d been standing against the wall the entire time and no one had noticed him…and suddenly, Sirius couldn’t help but wonder if liberal amounts of apparating caused one to literally _lose all color of life_ and blend in with their surroundings, because this man was as wispy as a _fairy’s wing…_ and that did not ease his fears in the least.

His stomach started to twist.

“Ahem,” the man said, clearing his throat and giving a small, elegant bow to McGonagall, “Today we will be learning about Apparition in _theory_ , namely, _The Three D’s_ —Destination, Determination and Deliberation. One must be completely _determined_ to reach one’s _destination_ , and move without haste, but with _deliberation_ ,” he said with a graceful flourish of his hands.

Sirius exhaled and relaxed considerably as soon as he realized they wouldn’t _actually_ be attempting to apparate in their very first lesson. A similar look of relief crossed James’ face.

_Thank Merlin!_

They spent the rest of the class listening to a long, and rather _boring_ , list of rules about Apparition, and then they practiced _imagining_ themselves standing inside their golden hoops.

By the time the lesson was over, Sirius felt a little more confident, and a little less _scared-shitless_ , than he’d been before.

Maybe he _could_ do this after all.

~~~

“I had no _idea_ this was going to be so much bloody work,” Remus complained as they walked back to the commons.

“Me neither,” Sirius replied, raking his hair back. “But the hardest part may be staying awake in class…Sundays are supposed to be for _rest_.”

“We won’t _always_ have a wild party the night before,” James said, brushing up against his arm with a grin. “We’ve only got one more match left in the season after all…”

“I still bet we’ll be playing Slytherin,” Frank chimed in from behind them. “It would just figure.”

“Yeah it would,” James replied, “Goyle seems determined to smash something to bits lately…and he’d probably prefer if it were one of _us_.”

“I know! Did you _see_ him glaring at Snape the entire class?” Frank asked. “I wonder why he’s targeting him in particular…I mean, they are both _Slytherin_ after all.”

Sirius and James caught each other’s eye and then quickly looked away.

“I dunno, but Goyle doesn’t really _need_ much of a reason to hate someone. Bullying is his _hobby_ ,” James sighed.

“Yeah, well, I’d like to knock him off his broom sometime,” Frank replied, cracking his knuckles.

“Wait until the match and you’ll get your chance,” Sirius piped in, about ready to smack Frank if he didn’t calm the fuck down.

They piled back into the Gryffindor common room and everyone dispersed.

James collapsed backwards on his bed with a grunt and then Sirius did the same, lying down next to him, their arms pressed together. “We should probably go to the library,” he sighed, wanting to do anything _but_.

James grunted and rolled to his side, “Since when do _you_ care about homework?”

“I don’t,” Sirius said flatly.

James narrowed his eyes at him and started to grin. “Wanna go see if the Room’s available?” he whispered.

Sirius’ heart sped up.

“They said the corridor won’t be open until tomorrow…”

“Yeah but how long does it take to restore a bloody tapestry?”

“I dunno…apparently a fucking week.”

James snorted, his eyes sparkling. “We can at least go _see_.”

Sirius squirmed. “What about the library?”

“We can go their first for a bit if you want…”

Sirius bit his lip, suddenly feeling very nervous. He knew _exactly_ what James wanted to do, and part of him wasn’t sure if he was ready for it yet…Not that he hadn’t been fantasizing about _doing it_ again all bloody week…but now he worried about making it as good, or _even better_ , than the first time, and the prospects seemed daunting.

“Moony, we’re going to the library, wanna join?” James asked, interrupting his thoughts.

“I’ve got Prefect duties tonight,” Remus said as he pulled his obnoxious maroon Prefect sweater down over his undershirt, the giant yellow P nearly blinding. “But definitely another time!”

“Wormtail?”

“I’m playing chess with Gilderoy.”

“Gilderoy? That smug blonde chap from Ravenclaw?”

“The mental one with all the Valentines?” Sirius chimed in, starting to smirk. They _loved_ ribbing him about his annoying friend.

“Yes,” Peter replied indignantly. “He said he was an _expert_ at Wizard’s Chess, that he’d practically _invented_ the game…said I’d never be able to beat him in a _million years_ …So I’m going to prove him wrong.”

“Well, look at you, Wormy!” Sirius exclaimed. “Competing with twelve-year-olds!”

Peter scowled, narrowing his beady eyes and pursing his lips like a wood-rat before leaving the room in a huff. 

“Looks like it’ll just be us then...I hope that’s okay?” James said innocently, his round, green eyes positively dancing.

Sirius gulped, his heart rioting, “Sounds perfect.”

  
***

~J~

James had had enough of waiting.

_Enough is enough._

If he didn’t get his hands on Sirius within the next few hours he was going to lose his shit. Like Moony with a pile of Pumpkin Pasties on the full moon…there would simply be no stopping him.

He would indulge Sirius and go to the library if he wanted, but he’d rather just skip the foreplay and get straight to the main event…

Though Sirius _had_ made it clear they needed more foreplay…

But he’d been explicitly talking about his _arse_ …not trying to study whilst inwardly dying of angst.

They stood outside the portrait hole, adjusting their satchels, and for some reason, Sirius was taking a bloody long time of it, as if adjusting his strap was the most important goddamn thing at the moment. And James was getting more and more agitated as the seconds ticked by. Finally, he cleared his throat, making Sirius look up at him. “Why don’t we just skip the library and go straight to _you know where_?” he said in a low voice.

Sirius’ eyes filled with fear and James was taken aback, unsure what the problem was. He flicked his eyes past Sirius and noticed the Fat Lady, watching them shrewdly from behind; her beefy arms crossed over her rotund chest.

“Erm…” Sirius noised, picking at a string on his bag, his cheekbones flushing.

And the Fat Lady leaned forward, her copper-coiled hair bouncing as she strained to hear what he was going to say.

“C’mon, let’s go somewhere more private,” James said, clasping him by the wrist and tugging him down the corridor.

Once they’d turned the corner and were hidden from any prying eyes, he stared down at him. “Do you not wanna go to the Room?” he asked.

Sirius shrugged. “I dunno…I just thought we needed to study…”

“Yeah, but you already said you didn’t want to…”

“I said I didn’t _want_ to, but not that we didn’t _need_ to…”

“Babe,” James said in a stern voice. “What’s really going on in that thick head of yours?”

Sirius bit his bottom lip and then started to grin. “Nothing…I promise.”

James stared at him, sizing him up. “Sorry, not buying it.”

“Wh-why?” Sirius sputtered.

“Because I know you like my own dick.”

Sirius scoffed. “I think the phrase is, _like the back of my hand_ …”

“My hand, my dick. It makes no difference. They’re both yours.”

Sirius shook his head and chuckled.

“Do you _not_ wanna go to the Room?” James asked again, not ready to give up yet, not by a long shot. A hoard of Basilisks couldn’t drag him from his mission.

“It’s just…” Sirius said, shifting on his feet and staring down at his shoes.

“What, babe? You can tell me. We’re in this together, remember? I suck your dick, you suck mine…”

Sirius laughed at that and flicked his eyes up. “I guess I’m just over-thinking things, you know? I don’t wanna disappoint you…or for things to be _less than_ the first time…”

James moved towards him, his pulse quickening and his face growing hot. “You could never in a million fucking years _disappoint_ me...not with that arse,” he chuckled. “And I’m pretty sure that _less than_ fifty bottles of lube and _less than_ a hundred flaming candelabras would be a _good_ thing; I don’t think that’s a scenario we _ever_ want to try and top again, not unless we’re putting on a show at the _West End_.”

Sirius was laughing now, his blue eyes soft and sparkling, and suddenly James felt like he was on fire. He moved in towards him, hovering over him and nearly pinning him to the wall. “What do you say?” he breathed, his heart pounding. “Do you wanna give it another try? Let my fingers work their _magic_?” he said whilst running his fingertip slowly along his jaw, stopping just under his shining bottom lip.

“Yes,” Sirius breathed, pressing a palm lightly to his breast.

And that was all he needed to hear.

  
***

~S~

Forget the sodding library.

They were rushing up to the seventh floor like the castle was on fire.

When they arrived, panting and sweaty, James threw the Cloak over them as they peered around the corner, checking to make sure the coast was clear.

“Shit,” James exhaled.

And Sirius couldn’t have agreed more.

Standing on a ladder in front of the infamous tapestry of Barnabas the Barmy was a stout little man with a long white mustache and a painter’s palette balanced on his arm. Professor McGonagall stood just below him, pointing at something and barking orders.

“Looks like a no-go,” Sirius sighed, now thoroughly disappointed. Even invisible there was no way in hell he was gonna chance it…They wouldn’t be able to hide the door anyway when it appeared.

“I have another idea,” James said, his hot breath tickling his ear and making him shiver.

“Yeah?”

“Yeah. The Whomping Willow.”

“You don’t think we’d get caught?”

“It’s already dark out...and we have the Cloak.”

Sirius thought for a moment, mostly imagining being fucked inside a tree, and not in fact the possibility of getting _caught_.

“D’you wanna try?” James asked.

“Let’s do it,” he said with determination.

_Let’s bang it out in a bloody tree..._

_That’ll be one to tell the grandkids._

James squeezed his hand and tugged him along. “Let’s go.”

  
***

~J~

Getting outside the castle proved to be the most difficult task.

James had completely forgotten to put the Map in his satchel, but he wasn’t about to bloody turn round and get it now. Not with Sirius giving him the green light.

_Hell no._

It was fucking go-time and not even Filch or Mrs.—

They both froze in their tracks and held their breath.

 _Speak of the devil_ , James thought as the infuriating caretaker and his vile tabby cat stalked the corridor less than a hundred feet away.

And then if that wasn’t bad enough, Peeves the poltergeist swooped out of bloody nowhere, bashing suits of armor as if they were steel drums and singing a crude rhyme.

But at least his boisterous performance was enough to distract Filch and give them the out they needed. They quickly exited the castle and took off running across the grounds, straight towards the tree.

“Bloody hell,” Sirius hissed, whipping the Cloak off himself and brushing the dust off his jeans after they’d jumped inside.

“I know, I know,” James sighed, raking his hair back, “I should have brought the Map.”

Once they’d finished wiping the dirt off, they stared at each other warily, the tension now back in full swing.

James took a shaky inhale, feeling his heart flutter in his chest.

_Now I feel nervous._

_Bloody hell._

Sirius licked his lips and clutched hold of his satchel, continuing to stare at him. “So erm, did you just wanna…”

James sucked in a deep inhale and dropped his bag, setting his glowing wand on top of it, still not ready to give up. He walked towards him, each step feeling like an eternity, and carefully pulled Sirius’ bag off and over his head. Sirius stared up at him, the blue wand light reflecting off his eyes. “I just wanna kiss you,” James breathed, sliding his hands up his arms.

Sirius darted his tongue out, wetting his lips, and gazed up at him, silent and breathing hard.

And then James went for it.

He gripped him hard, crashing their mouths together, surging towards him and backing him against the wall, scattering dirt and rocks as he did, and suddenly, he had a flashback to a very similar scenario…except in that one, he’d been furious at Sirius, fucking _livid_ …nearly wanted to kill him for what he’d done…

_Oh how times have changed…_

Sirius clung onto his biceps and positioned himself between his spread legs, his back pressed to the wall and his hard cock pressing into James’ thigh.

_Yes, we can do this…god yes..._

He kissed his lips with a fervor and Sirius kissed him back just as hard, pulling him against himself and straining for more. James groaned, his body wracked with pleasure; he moved his face to the side, trying to breathe, but got a nose-full of dirt and nearly lost an eye to a protruding root instead.

“Shit!” he hissed, pulling back and wiping at his face.

“What is it?” Sirius yelped, the tops of his shoulders now covered in bits of dirt.

“It’s kinda dirty,” James said, rubbing at his eyes.

“Well, we are inside a _tree_ ,” Sirius chuckled, reaching his hand up and swiping some dirt off James’ cheek. “Would you rather try the Shack?”

James grimaced, less than thrilled with the visual and irritated that they had to resort to either one of those options.

_A tree trunk or a fucking dilapidated shack…let me see…which one would I rather shag Sirius in for the second time EVER?_

“Maybe if we just keep going,” Sirius said. “Just skip to the main event…”

James sighed, “Okay, let’s try…”

He gripped Sirius’ bicep and turned him to face the wall. “Drop your pants I guess?” he said just over his shoulder. And _god_ , could he have sounded any more like a dick? “I mean, if you _want_ …”

Sirius snorted and obliged, flicking his belt open and then dropping his jeans.

James’ heart beat faster at the sight of his arse, perky as ever and covered by his fitted, white briefs.

Okay, now he was salivating.

_Maybe we can make this work._

He unbuttoned his own pants and slid them down whilst Sirius just stood there, his hands pressed against the wall.

“Just a second,” James said, struggling to get his shoes off so he could get his pants all the way off. He didn’t fancy the idea of just dropping them and going at it; he might lose mobility...and if they were gonna do this, they were gonna do it _right,_ goddamn it...well as _right_ as you could get inside a fucking tree…with no bed…no fire…and no—

“Shit,” he said under his breath.

“What?” Sirius asked, turning around.

“I think I forgot the lube.”

Even in the low light he could see the panic in Sirius’ eyes. “Are you sure?” he croaked. “I thought you put the bottles in your satchel.”

James finished kicking off his jeans in a hurry and rushed to grab his bag, “I think you’re right,” he breathed. “I remember stashing them in there when we were in the Room, and I don’t remember taking them out.” He started tearing through the bag with a vengeance, his heart racing, but there was nothing. “Fuck”. And then he looked in Sirius’ bag, scattering the contents on the floor, but all he found was a tin of his pop’s hair cream.

“Do you think that maybe you can’t take things out of the Room?” Sirius asked, squatting down next to him and picking through his things.

“Jesus. I bet you can’t,” James sighed. “All that fucking lube…what a waste.”

“Well I’m sure the Room can just conjure some more…”

James stood up and huffed, feeling like such a tosser. He squeezed the tin can in his hand and suddenly had an idea. “I’m not giving up just yet,” he snarled, gripping Sirius by the wrist and pulling him back to the wall. “If all we need is a lubricant, then I don’t see why we can’t use _this_ ,” he said, holding up the tin.

Sirius turned back and looked at him, his eyes wide and once again full of fear. “You are _not_ putting that shit on me,” he breathed.

“It’ll be fine,” James said, shoving his briefs down. “It didn’t hurt our heads.”

“Then you first,” Sirius said, crossing his arms.

James huffed and popped the lid off, scooping out a copious portion of the stuff and then slathering it on his semi-hard cock.

“Well?”

“I don’t feel a thing,” he said, shrugging his shoulders, like slathering his dick with his pop’s hair cream inside a tree was nothing out of the usual.

And then things changed.

“Wait,” he said, his breath catching. “Holy shit.”

“What?! Does it hurt?!” Sirius hissed.

“Holy fucking SHIT! I’m on FIRE!” he bellowed. “Quick, bend over!”

“You are NOT shoving your flaming dick up my arse!” Sirius screeched, his eyes bulging.

“Water…I need water,” James hissed, feeling as if his cock were about to literally combust, and not in a _good_ way; he feared he might lose it all together. Forget _splinching_ it off, he was _burning_ it off!

He yanked up his briefs and scrambled to get out of the tree.

“Wait!” Sirius yelped from behind him.

But there was no time. He needed water and STAT. He sprinted straight for the castle in just his knickers, moving faster than he ever had in his life, and then he realized he had no wand and no Cloak and he still needed _water_ ….

_Water, water, water, water..._

And then it came to him.

Behind the castle there was a fountain of a massive stone boar…and it had his name written all over it.

  
***

~S~

Sirius and James had done many asinine and foolhardy things during their six years together at Hogwarts…

Levitating Wormy to the top of the giant Christmas tree to represent the star, yet not thinking of how his weight might pose a problem once placed there…

Brewing a batch of Polyjuice Potion and drinking it down only to realize they’d swallowed _McGonagall’s_ hair and not in fact, Dumbledore’s…

Fishing in the Black Lake at midnight for Merpeople and becoming intimately acquainted with the Giant Squid instead…

But when Sirius ran around the corner of the castle and saw James, flinging himself and his flaming dick into the boar fountain after they’d just attempted to _bang it out_ under the Whomping Willow, he suddenly realized that his standard for _crazy_ had been much too low.

Because _this_ was crazy.

Absolutely certifiable.

And once he ascertained that James’ dick was still in fact attached to his body _and_ functional, it would probably go down as the bloody funniest ordeal they’d ever been involved in.

“James!” he hissed, running up to the fountain. “Are you okay? Is your _dick_ okay?”

James popped up from the water and clung onto the side of the fountain, his hair slicked back and his chest heaving. “It’s okay,” he said. “Thank _god_.”

Sirius sat down next to him and sighed with relief. “Bloody hell, James. What were you _thinking_!?”

“That I wanted to fuck you!” he hissed back, swiping his fingers roughly through his hair.

And Sirius wanted to laugh.

_Wow._

_Just wow._

This is who they were now.

This is what they’d become.

“James, you’ve gotta tell your pop about the cream and the reaction you had. It’s not _safe_.”

“What? That I was slathering it on my dick so I could shove it up your arse? No, mate. I don’t fucking thinking so.”

Sirius stared at him for a beat and then started snickering, his sides beginning to shake. “ _Please_ promise me we won’t ever sink this low again... _god_...I was wrong before…I need the bed and the candles and the lube…and whatever other mental things the Room wants to give us. And most of all, I just want your dick in one _piece_.”

James stared at him intently for a moment and then started to grin.

And Sirius knew that look.

“No you don’t—” he started to say, but it was too late, James had grabbed him by the wrist and yanked him into the fountain, water splashing over the sides as he did. And somehow amidst the chaos, their lips found each other...and the frigid water and the fact that they were only in their skivvies with no proper place to bang and no lube to do it with anyway, didn’t seem quite so disheartening.

Every moment with James was an adventure…

And that’s what he loved most about him.

_Flaming dicks and all._

***

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 🍆🔥🍆🔥🍆🔥🍆
> 
> This chapter was an absolute blast to write! 🍆🔥😱😂


	47. Mr. Hazel Eyes

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In the words of Ron Weasley, “You’re gonna suffer, but you’re gonna be happy about it.” 🤪😱🔥 At least I hope so!

***

~J~

Things were good.

Well as good as they could be considering it was Friday and they’d survived yet _another_ week without _doing it_.

What was the point of even trying to _plan_ things, anyway?

Life never went according to plan.

James hadn’t _planned_ on being locked out of the Room for a bloody week…he hadn’t _planned_ on resorting to the Whomping Willow…

And he certainly hadn’t _planned_ on lighting his dick on fire.

Or more like _burning it off_ , to be more precise…And with all bloody things but his _pop’s_ hair cream!

Who knew it would cause such a reaction?

And who knew he’d be stuck with an unsightly rash on his appendage for an entire week after?

He’d made Sirius go down to the hospital wing and beg Madam Pomfrey for some ointment, saying that he (Sirius) was in dire need of some healing balm for a “horrid rash” he’d procured from too much “broom friction _”,_ and thank _god_ she’d given him the stuff, because it was really doing the trick.

Lesson learned.

He would never put anything his pop had invented on his lower regions, _ever_ again.

And he learned another important thing as well—every time he and Sirius tried to _force_ being together, it somehow ended in disaster…

Clearly, they just needed to go with the flow…let things be. Stop _forcing_.

Which is where his head was at that Friday afternoon as he walked down to Quidditch practice…completely alone.

Sirius was currently _detained_ in Transfiguration class. As in, he had _detention_ …All because he’d let loose some rather nasty curses (as in _obscenities,_ not hexes) when the snail he was trying to turn into a teapot kept transforming into a _tuba_ instead. Which really, in all practically, made much more sense; a snail was far more similar in figure to a tuba than a _teapot_ …But McGonagall hadn’t been interested in listening to excuses. Hearing the words, “You fuckin’ snail!” echo through the room were enough to make up her mind, and Sirius had to stay an extra thirty minutes after class, or until he’d fed all twenty-five precious snails and polished their shells.

And dear _god_ the look on his face!

_Fucking priceless._

James snickered just remembering it.

 _Merlin,_ he loved Sirius and his hot temper. Even if it did mean he had to walk to practice alone; something he wasn’t used to doing. And even if it did mean they’d all suffered greatly because of it over the past six years.

Sirius just wouldn’t be _Sirius_ without it.

Hot-blooded and smart-mouthed.

_Blue-eyed and black-haired…_

_Tight-arsed and soft-lipped…_

Okay, now he was just getting horny.

He needed to save it for tonight…

When they’d _finally_ have the bloody Room—Praise the gods!

His dick was ready, _he_ was ready, and it was going to be grand.

But he wasn’t gonna overthink it.

_No sir._

Just keep it cool…go with the flow…use plenty of lube…

And everything would be just fine.

Their match against Slytherin was to be held the next day, but that was okay, too…this would help them let off some steam…release the tension, and then they’d be ready to pummel some arses and win the last bloody game of the season.

Everything was _good_.

“Hey,” a deep, unfamiliar voice came, breaking his thoughts.

He whipped his head up and blinked.

“Great game last week,” the bloke said, his smile large and inviting.

James just stared at him. He looked familiar. “Ravenclaw?” he asked, narrowing his eyes.

“Yeah. I’m Marco…”

“Oh, _right_. You’re one of the Beaters. Sorry, mate, I didn’t recognize you without all the gear.”

The guy chuckled and swiped his fingers back through his dark, glossy hair, “Yeah I guess you wouldn’t know me without it…and we don’t have any classes together so...”

James shifted on his feet and clutched the bag strapped around his chest, suddenly feeling rather antsy.

“Yeah, I guess we don’t,” he replied, looking him up and down.

And there was no mistaking it—the lad was fit. And tall. _Really_ tall. And _really_ fit. All white teeth and long lashes and bronzed skin...

“You’re a Seventh year, right?” he asked, not even sure why.

“Yep. This was my last season, unfortunately. But I’m thinking of trying out for one of the national teams…Maybe something will work out,” he said with a shrug. “I’d be hella chuffed if it did.”

James narrowed his eyes and pursed his lips at him, surprised that a _Ravenclaw_ was even that serious about a sport; most of them seemed more into _academics_ than anything else...They were known for their _cleverness_ after all.

“Yeah, that’d be brilliant,” he heard himself saying.

The bloke, _Marco_ , grinned wide, his white teeth nearly blinding, and then he cocked his head to the side, his dark, tousled hair shifting on his head slightly. “From what I’ve seen, you’re good enough to play for any national team. They’d be lucky to have you.”

And suddenly James felt parched.

His heart started hammering against his chest like a drum and his body felt inexplicably warm…

And dear _god_ he was blushing! Like a damn girl!

“Um, thanks,” he managed to choke out, averting his eyes.

_What the hell is wrong with you?!_

Since when did he get all flustered talking to another lad about Quidditch? Enthusiastic, _yes_ …flustered, _no_.

And then suddenly, Marco was standing even closer to him, or more like _over_ him, blocking out the damn sun.

James peered up at him, squinting.

_Oh, he’s got hazel eyes…_

_Wow._

“Maybe we can play sometime. I’m sure I could teach you some things…and I _know_ you could teach me a few…”

His breath hitched.

“Erm, sure…that would be…cool.”

“Brilliant! I’ll let you know!” Marco said, and then he winked at him and lightly punched him in the bicep before continuing on his way.

And James just stood there.

Dumbfounded.

And to top it off, he turned around like a complete tosser and literally _watched_ him walk away, his curiosity getting the better of him.

Marco was wearing his Quidditch uniform...His pants were tight...And he had a great arse.

All just simple observations.

Nothing weird about that.

Just one bloke, appreciating the body of another bloke.

_Holy shit!_

James rushed down to the locker rooms with a rioting heart, his mouth as dry as a desert and his cock utterly confused.

What was happening to him?

What _was_ that?!

Was Marco _hitting_ on him?

Or did he just imagine that?

_Holy fuck._

This had never happened before.

This was totally new territory.

The fact was...Sirius was all he knew.

Sirius was the first male he’d ever been attracted to…at least that he was _aware_ of. And beyond the universe of _Sirius,_ he really hadn’t given much thought to other blokes; to how he felt about them in general…to how they made him _feel_.

He just knew he wanted Sirius and that was enough…

But now…

_God._

Where were all these bizarre feelings coming from? Was this normal? And had he always had them? Like his _whole fucking life_?!

“Hey, mate!” Frank Longbottom said, coming out of nowhere and punching the side of his arm.

“Jesus!” James yelped, flinching away, his heart going a hundred miles an hour.

“Oh, sorry!” Frank said, a shocked look crossing his face. “Is your arm hurt?”

“No,” he replied, rubbing at it. Why was every damn bloke in the world punching him in the arm today? Did it mean something? “You just scared me is all.”

“Sorry! Where’s your other half?”

“Hmm?”

“Sirius?”

James narrowed his eyes.

_Does he know?_

“Oh, erm…he was detained by McGonagall…”

Frank chuckled, his broad shoulders shaking. “I’m not surprised…with his _mouth_.”

“Huh?”

_What about his mouth?!_

“His _language_ ,” Frank clarified.

“Oh, right.”

“Hey, you look a bit peaky, mate…everything alright?” Frank asked, resting his large, warm hand on the top of his shoulder and squeezing slightly.

And suddenly James _did_ feel faint.

And nauseous.

“I’m fine,” he muttered, moving out of his reach and going straight to his locker. “Just nerves about tomorrow, I guess.”

“Yeah, I’m not too chuffed about going head-to-head with Slytherin either…That Hufflepuff they nearly killed is _still_ in the hospital…Poor bloke may never see properly again…a Bludger to the face…” he faded off.

But James was barely listening.

He was too busy trying to figure out what in the hell was going on and why in the hell he was feeling so strange. So irritable and on edge. Maybe it really was just nerves because of the match. But what did that have anything to do with _Mr. Hazel Eyes_? And why did it feel like Frank was coming onto him as well? Maybe he was just being friendly though. Frank had always punched him in the arm and slapped him on the back…even on the arse. Though typically, Sirius was always glued to his side…and that didn’t allow for a lot of physical contact with other males; just Moony and Wormtail and they didn’t really count…Though, now that he thought of it, Sirius even got testy when he was too physical with them as well…He suddenly remembered a bizarre melt-down Sirius had had when they were fourteen and he’d found him and Remus wrestling on their bedroom floor…

He shook his head in exasperation.

The point was, outside of the Marauders, he didn’t have a lot of hands-on experience with the same sex. And it wasn’t that he wanted it, or felt some _need_ for it…It’s just that…

He needed to discuss this with Sirius. Surely, he would understand.

He knew way more about this _type of thing_ after all.

  
***

~S~

If Sirius had to polish one more fucking snail shell he was going to lose his goddamn mind.

Why couldn’t he have just kept his mouth shut?

McGonagall had the ears of a bat.

Or more precisely, a _cat_. A devilish tabby with black spectacle markings on its face and a vendetta against him.

She’d always preferred James over him…But then again, _most_ people did.

He waited anxiously as she inspected all twenty-five snails with pursed lips and crossed arms, her pointy black hat impeccably straight.

“You may go, Mr. Black, but let this be a _warning_ to you—if I hear _anymore_ obscenities from your mouth, you will owe me a twenty-foot long scroll on the mating habits and dietary preferences of northern gastropods.”

He stared at her blankly.

“Snails!” she bellowed.

He flinched and grimaced. “Yes, Professor.”

Her right eye twitched slightly and her lips pursed into a thin line.

“On your way then.”

He nodded once and then turned on his heel, ready to bolt from the room.

“Oh, and Mr. Black?”

“Yes?” he asked, whipping around.

“Bring us a win tomorrow, will you?

He started to smirk. “Will do.”

And then he took off running, like a Chinese Fireball was hot on his tail.

He couldn’t stand the thought of James being anywhere without him.

And maybe that was a _little_ possessive…

But it was all he knew.

Since day one he couldn’t imagine not being by James’ side.

And some might consider his behavior _unhealthy_ , but the fact was, he only felt sick and anxious when they _weren’t_ together.

So it just made sense.

His heart fluttered as soon as he came around the corner and saw James, zipping the fly to his glorious white Quidditch pants and looking every much the athletic god that he was.

_Merlin, I can’t wait to rip into him tonight!_

And then James’ head whipped up and he stared at him.

And there was something different in his eyes. Something unsettling.

_Fear._

“Oh, hi,” James said, blinking rapidly; his voice sounding a pitch too high. “I didn’t think you’d be here til later.”

Sirius narrowed his eyes as he walked towards him, carefully setting his book bag down on the bench.

“I rushed,” he said, suddenly feeling his chest tighten.

_Why is he looking at me like that?_

“Oh, good,” James said, averting his eyes and smoothing his white pants down his thighs.

_Okay, something’s definitely wrong._

“You okay?” he heard himself asking.

James whipped his head up, an unruly curl falling over one eye. “Why does everyone keep asking me that? I’m bloody _fine_!” he snapped.

Sirius just stared at him for a beat, chewing on his bottom lip whilst his stomach twisted into the literal shape of a snail.

 _He’s almost acting.._.

_Guilty._

_But why?_

“Sorry,” James huffed. “Guess my nerves are just getting to me.”

Sirius swallowed and stepped closer to him. “Are we still good…for _tonight_?” he asked in a low voice.

James blinked rapidly again, his breath coming out much too labored. “Yes.”

“No cold feet?” Sirius asked, leaning towards him.

“No,” he said, shaking his head.

But Sirius wasn’t convinced.

Something must have happened during the short time they were apart.

What else could explain James’ strange behavior?

He _never_ got this squeamish over a Quidditch match.

Maybe he wasn’t _quite_ as excited about their future rendezvous in the Room as Sirius had hoped.

Maybe he was having second-thoughts…

***

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 😬🐌😬🐌😬🐌


	48. Unbreakable

***

~J~

James didn’t know _what_ had come over him, only that he felt bloody anxious and he needed to talk to Sirius _alone_.

But he also feared his reaction.

Maybe in some cases it was better _not_ to be shagging the same best friend whose advice you needed.

Maybe sometimes there was a line that shouldn’t be crossed…

He wasn’t sure, but he feared he was about to find out.

He glanced up at the tapestry of Barnabas the Barmy, relieved and yet also utterly annoyed to see the ridiculous chap still trying to teach those damn trolls how to dance. Didn’t he learn his lesson the first time?! His idiocy had already made at least _four_ people completely miserable for a week…

The door to the Room suddenly appeared and without hesitation, he and Sirius walked right through it.

And then his heart stopped.

There was only the couch in front of the fire.

That was it.

No bed, no lube, no candelabras…

Sirius set his bag down on the floor and turned towards him, his jaw clenched and his arms crossed, the tension now palpable.

“Okay, James. What the fuck is going on? Why is there no bloody bed and why are you acting like such a tosser?”

James swallowed hard, feeling as if there were a literal Sneakoscope lodged in his throat, choking him. He wrung his hands.

_Shit. Shit. Shit._

They were not off to a good start.

“It’s just…”

He struggled to find the words.

Finally, Sirius clasped onto his wrist with a huff and pulled him to the couch; they both sat down; the sound of the crackling fire and his own pounding heart all he could hear.

“It’s just _what_?”

“Well, erm…something happened today.”

“Like what?”

“Like…I was walking down to the locker rooms…and I ran into that bloke, Marco...the Ravenclaw Beater? Seventh year…”

Sirius’ face suddenly shifted.

_Oh shit._

“And?”

“And…we chatted for a bit…”

Sirius rested his arms on either side of the couch as he sat in the corner, his ankle propped casually on his knee. “About?”

“Just Quidditch and stuff…He said he might try out for a national team after graduation…”

Sirius’ dark, shining eyes narrowed. “And you’re considering doing the same?”

“No! I mean…I dunno…It’s not about that…”

“ _What’s_ not about what?” Sirius snapped.

James winced slightly.

“James—just spit it out for godssakes!”

“I can’t! You’re making this bloody difficult! I feel like I’m being interrogated. _Jesus_.”

Sirius sighed heavily and relaxed a bit, swiping his hair back. “I’m sorry, but you’re scaring the hell out of me, James.”

James kneaded his forehead with his fingertips and then swiped his own hair back, feeling tongue-tied and confused and not even exactly sure what it was he was trying to say. He took a deep breath, “I was attracted to him!” he blurted out, instantly wishing he’d chosen a more tactful approach. But it was too late now. He closed his eyes and prayed for deliverance.

“And?”

He opened his eyes again, surprise washing over him.

“And…I just wanted to tell you…”

“Okay.”

Sirius continued to sit there, still as a statue, and in the half-light, James couldn’t make out if he was calm or shocked or about to turn into his Animagus and attack his throat at any minute. It was unnerving.

“And…I guess…I’m _confused_ …I’ve never really had that happen before…I mean, I’ve only ever been aware of it towards _you_ …I’ve only ever wanted _you_ …and _god_ …I still only want you…and I don’t want you to think this means anything or I want this bloke or anything like that…I just…I was surprised is all.”

_Jesus Christ I’m rambling!_

He wiped his sweaty palms down the sides of his jeans and prayed that Sirius understood what he was trying to say, because he wasn’t even sure that _he_ did.

Sirius licked his lips and continued to stare at him, still unnervingly stoic. Maybe he was more canine than human…because _god,_ that would explain a lot…

“So if I’m hearing correctly, what you’re saying…is that you felt attracted to this bloke and it surprised you…because you aren’t used to feeling attracted to other males?”

James squirmed and squeezed his thighs. “Yeah, I guess…Like I said…I’ve only really ever felt that way towards _you_ …”

“Was this bloke… _Marco_ …flirting with you?”

James winced, once again afraid to say too much and upset him even further; though he was taking it much better than he’d anticipated. There was no blood on the floor… _yet_.

“Erm, I think he was…he was very _friendly_ …winked at me…punched me in the arm…said we should play together sometime.”

A vein in Sirius’ neck ticked.

_Oh shit._

“And did you flirt back?”

“No!” he yelped. “Of course not!”

“Would you have? If given the chance?”

James’ face started burning and his heart nearly pounded out of his ribs.

“Christ…I dunno…no… _maybe_ …”

Sirius nodded, the firelight reflecting off his dark, glossy hair.

“The point is,” James huffed, bending one leg up on the couch and squeezing onto his calf with both hands, “is that I don’t know _why_ I felt that way…it scared me…I’ve never thought of myself as…as...”

“Gay?”

He felt like he’d just been punched in the gut, all the air knocked right out of him. “Well…”

“Then what _did_ you think?” Sirius asked, still unmoving.

James huffed and raked his hair back, his heart still pounding. “That I was in love with you…” he finally said, shrugging his shoulders.

Sirius exhaled loudly, his body visibly sagging. “I was afraid of this,” he said, his words just above a whisper.

“Of what?”

“Of creating my own downfall…”

James furrowed his brows. “What’s _that_ supposed to mean?”

“That I woke you up… _sexually_ …and one day you’ll seek greener pastures…”

“Fucking hell!” James hissed, his eyes going wide. “That’s not at all what I’m saying! Not at all!”

“I guess it’s just a matter of time…” Sirius murmured, as if he weren’t even hearing him.

James scooted closer and grabbed hold of Sirius’ hand, pressing the palm to his racing heart. “Babe, I’m not saying that at all. All I’m saying is, I’m fucking confused and I just want you to help me figure this out.”

“I think it’s pretty clear,” Sirius replied, staring off in the distance. “You just realized you’re attracted to other blokes…and not just _me_.”

James’ heart clenched.

_Shit._

_He’s right._

“Okay, so maybe I am…but that doesn’t change anything…doesn’t change _us_ …”

Sirius pulled his hand away from his grasp and wrapped it around himself protectively. “Yeah, I think it does.”

“But how? I still want _you_!”

Sirius stared at him; his eyes filling with water. “But you may not always.”

A pain shot through James’ heart like a knife, nearly splitting it in two. “How can you say that? Of _course_ I always will.” He gripped hold of his bicep with one hand and placed the other on his thigh, squeezing. “Babe, please…don’t act like this. _Please_. Would you rather have me not told you?”

Sirius exhaled, his gorgeous face so pained that James wished he could rewind time and take back his words.

“No…I’m glad you told me…”

James stared at him helplessly. “Babe, I can’t help what I feel. I’m just trying to make sense of it…I mean, up until now there’ve really only been _two_ people that I was seriously attracted to…Lily…and _you_.”

Now Sirius’ eyes were full of fire.

“But I thought you said you were never really into her?”

James’ heart pounded yet again. He swallowed down the lump in his throat. “Well, I mean…I think there was _something_ there…It’s not like I’m completely turned off by girls.”

“Fucking hell,” Sirius breathed, now pinching the bridge of his nose and closing his eyes.

“Is that so terrible?” James asked, now even more distressed than he was before.

Sirius’ eyes opened again, and yes, they were still full of fire. A raging inferno to be exact. “So what you’re saying, is that you’ve come to the realization that you’re attracted to both males _and_ females?”

James scratched the back of his neck, suddenly feeling insanely hot. “Well…I hadn’t really thought about it like that…but yeah, I guess…”

“How have you never _thought_ about this?” Sirius snapped, his eyes going wide.

“I don’t know! Jesus! I was just focused on _her_ for so long…and then there was you…and you blew my mind…I didn’t understand it…didn’t put labels on it…I just knew I wanted you. I followed my damn heart…”

Sirius shook his head exasperatedly. 

“I still don’t see what difference it makes! _You’re_ still the one I want…that hasn’t changed.”

“It _matters_ , James, because this means I’m competing with not just one sex for your fucking attention, but _two_ …It _matters,_ because now you’re starting to become attracted to other blokes…It _matters_ because one fucking day….you’ll _leave me_ …and all this,” he hissed, waving a hand between them, “all we’ve shared…will be for not...and I’ll die…alone and heart-broken, just like that bloody Seer told me.”

“What the fuck are you talking about?” James hissed, completely dumbfounded. “That’s absolute rubbish…” He shook his head in disbelief, feeling a cold sweat sweep over his body.

“Just wait and see,” Sirius said haughtily. “Just wait and see...”

And then something snapped.

A surge of anger shot up James’ spine like lightning. “How do I know _you_ won’t leave me, huh? I mean surely you’ve _looked_ at other blokes… _fancied_ them.”

Now he was just looking for retribution.

How dare Sirius say they wouldn’t end up together! Did he have so little faith in what they had? And what the fuck did he mean about a _Seer_?!

Sirius’ mouth fell open.

“Well?”

“Well, what? Of _course_ I’ve looked at other blokes! I, unlike _you_ , have been aware of my sexual preferences for _years_.”

James ground his teeth.

“And that’s some kind of badge of honor or something?” he snapped. “Do you think you should be collecting House points for that, huh?”

Sirius bristled. “That’s not what I said.”

“Well it bloody-well sounded like what you _meant_. And if that’s so true, then please, explain to me all the _girls_ you’ve been with, hmm?”

_Yes, I’m going there._

Sirius’ eyes widened and his jaw clenched, and by the looks of it, he was grinding his molars to dust.

“Cat got your tongue?”

“We’re not going there, James.”

“Why not? How come you can jump down my throat for feeling the _tiniest_ bit attracted to a bloke that I don’t even _know_ and won’t _ever_ snog, and yet you can sit here, all high and mighty, gloating about your fucking _preferences_ and making me feel like shit! Now tell me, WHO did you fancy?”

Sirius raked his hair back with a shaky hand. “Frederic Hollyfield.”

James’ heart stopped.

“The star Beater? From fucking _Hufflepuff_?!” he screeched.

“Yes. He graduated two years ago.”

“And you _wanted_ him?”

“I was attracted to him,” Sirius said calmly, “I _wanted_ you.”

James exhaled through his nose, slightly placated but still _far_ from done.

“And? Who else?”

“Erm...Travis York...”

“Who?”

“He was a Ravenclaw…intellectual type…graduated last year.”

_What the fuck?_

Now his blood was really boiling.

“And what, you fantasized about him? About having some steamy, late-night _study_ sessions in the back of the goddamn library?!”

“No, I noticed he was attractive…I fantasized about _you_.”

James rolled his shoulders, still seething.

“And what about the girls?”

“What about them?”

“You _know_ what I mean.”

Sirius just sat there, his lips pursed in a hard, unmoving line.

The fire popped but James didn’t budge.

“What happened with them?”

“We just snogged,” Sirius shrugged, averting his eyes.

“And that’s _all_ that happened? Nothing more? No touching?” He swallowed hard, “No… _blowing_ …?”

Now he felt like he couldn’t breathe.

Sirius’ eyes snapped to his, a murderous look flashing across them.

_I’ve hit a nerve._

“Well?”

“Well, we’re not going there,” Sirius said through clenched teeth; his face, his body language, all positively _feral_.

“I need to know. I _deserve_ to know.”

Sirius shook his head defiantly.

“Was my _mouth_ the first one on your dick? Was my _hand_ the first one to touch you _there_?” James growled.

Sirius visibly stiffened, his jaw as sharp as a razor.

“Answer me, DAMN it!” he bellowed, a rush of hot fury consuming him.

“NO!” Sirius yelled. “No! You weren’t the fucking first one to do those things, okay?!”

_Oh my god…_

And James had thought he’d felt _low_ before…being made to feel like shit because of attractions he couldn’t help…learning that Sirius had crushes on and infatuations with other blokes…but _this_ …this took the fucking cake.

_How could I have been so fucking dense to think I was his first?!_

He jumped up off the couch and started pacing, dragging his fingers back through his hair and nearly pulling it out. Everything was pulsing. Everything was raging. He couldn’t find a clear thought in his head to save his life. The pain in his heart was simply unbearable.

“James…please…just…”

“No,” he barked, continuing to pace. “Don’t you _dare_ try and make me feel like some kind of monster for feeling things I don’t even understand…can’t even help…when you… _you_ ,” he snarled, turning towards him, every muscle in his body ready to spring like a rubber band, “have had girls… _touching_ you… _sucking_ you…” a lump swelled in his throat, cutting off his air supply, strangling the life out of him. He squatted down just as a sob escaped him, literally burst out of his chest. He rested his elbows on his knees and held his face. “I’ve been so fucking stupid,” he choked out, hot tears running down his face.

  
***

~S~

_Oh shit...oh god..._

_I went too far..._

_Too bloody far._

_How can I make him understand?!_

"James...all of that meant _nothing_ to me…nothing! You’re all I’ve ever wanted! _Jesus_ ,” he said, moving in front of him, squatting down and grasping hold of his knees, “James, I’ve been gone for you since day one. Fucking obliterated. From the moment you sat on my bed and asked about my fucked-up family, and you didn’t _judge_ me for it or make me feel like shit…From the moment I looked in your goddamn _green_ _eyes_ and knew I’d never be the same…that my _world_ would never be the same…my heart,” he said, clutching at his chest and gasping for breath.

James wiped the tears from his own face and stared at him, his glassy eyes piercing. “It all meant nothing,” Sirius repeated, "all that happened with those girls…I was just nursing a broken heart…All I ever wanted was you…For you to _see_ me…to _want_ me…And sometimes, the pain was so bloody _unbearable_ that I had to release it…And I’m not proud of it. I wish I could take it all back.” He knelt between his legs and gripped onto his shirt sleeves, curling his fingers into the fabric. “And I am so fucking sorry for making you feel bad…You’re right…it’s not your fault for having feelings…it’s _normal_ …and you’re not a monster...It all just makes me feel so incredibly _insecure_...” He choked down the sob welling up in his throat, “But I never should have taken that out on _you_ …and I’m so glad you trusted me enough to even tell me…I’m just sorry that I fucked it up,” he faded off, completely spent.

An agonizing beat passed.

“You didn’t fuck it up,” James breathed, his jaw hard and his green eyes steely.

Sirius blinked at him, taken aback, and then James was grabbing him by the neck and yanking him forward, crashing their mouths together violently and pulling him into his arms as they both fell backwards.

_Oh my god...oh my god..._

_He still wants me._

A whirlwind of heat and desperation surrounded them, swallowing them up like an inferno.

James was clasping onto his face for dear life, and his mouth... _god_ his mouth...

They kissed like they were starving, clasping onto each other like they were being torn apart.

And then Sirius felt his chest tighten and his breath catch, as if he just couldn’t take in anymore...his _heart_ couldn’t take in anymore.

How could James just forgive him like this? After he'd so ruthlessly attacked him...said such terrible, spiteful things...

He pulled back with force as James continued to strain for more. He held him back by the shoulders, panting for breath. "I’m so sorry, love…I’m so sorry…for everything I said,” he sniffled, unable to stop the flow of hot tears.

James clasped his face tenderly between his palms, swiping under his eyes with his thumbs, “I’m sorry, too,” he breathed, “I was vicious.”

Sirius moved to straddle his lap, squeezing his hips between his thighs, “It’s only ever been _you_ ,” he said, grasping onto the tops of his shoulders.

James made a noise and pulled him tight against his chest, hugging him fiercely. “I’m sorry for ever making you suffer…I’m sorry you’ve been afraid for so long...But, Sirius,” he said, pulling back, “I’m never leaving you. Ever. You’ve always been enough and you _always_ will be. There’s no competition.”

Sirius’ heart rioted.

He stared at him, speechless, frozen.

“Will you please try and have a little more faith in me?” James asked, gently tucking a piece of hair behind his ear and running his fingertips along his jaw.

Sirius nodded, his heart now melting out of his body; he surged forward and hugged him again, as tightly as he physically could, desperately wishing he could explain how his words made him feel. What relief they gave him. What _hope_.

He would give James his faith…and everything that he had, even if it killed him.

_Nobody deserves it more._

And then James was picking him up and carrying him across the room, and the next thing he felt was the _bed_ , pressing into his back, and then James’ soft, familiar lips, sliding against his own.

And everything felt different and yet the same.

And all he knew was that he’d never wanted something so much in his life.

 _Needed_ something so desperately.

_James...James..._

He needed to feel him inside of him…claiming him, undoing him...taking him.

More than ever before.

He felt he’d die if he didn’t have it.

James collapsed into his arms with a groan and they rolled on the bed, their mouths refusing to part. Somehow they managed to get each other’s clothes off, and somehow their lips never found their fill.

“I love you,” James breathed between fast, scorching kisses, and slow, burning ones.

“I know,” Sirius murmured, digging his fingers into the taut muscles of his bare back and locking his ankles around his hips. It felt like the room was spinning and the only sense of gravity was James. His smell, his touch; the feel of his sweet, wet mouth, the stroke of his incessant tongue against his own…

“And I’ll _never_ leave you,” James crooned by his ear before dragging his lips down his neck, all the way to his bare breast where he placed a soft, lingering kiss right over his throbbing heart, surely leaving an everlasting imprint.

_Oh god...oh god..._

Sirius scrunched his eyes shut and continued to strain for air, utterly overwhelmed.

The need was all-consuming now.

“Please, James…I need you…” he panted, hoping he understood his meaning.

James found his mouth again and kissed him breathless, his large, warm hands clasped around his throat, his thighs squeezing his hips like a vice.

“I _need_ you…” Sirius breathed against his lips.

“I know baby, I need _you_ , too,” James said, pulling back, his eyes glazed over with lust.

Sirius moaned and clasped onto his swollen biceps, squeezing the strained muscles hard and feeling his body shake. They were _both_ shaking.

James kissed him ravenously again and then gently rolled him over to his stomach, hovering over him on all fours; the heat rolling off his body...the anticipation...simply maddening.

_Dear god…_

James leaned down and pressed his lips against his ear, “I’m going to work my _magic_ , baby,” he said, his voice deep and thick and full of emotion.

“Oh god…” Sirius panted out as everything clenched inside of him.

James slid his fingers between his cheeks and rubbed him, stroked him, right _there_ , with his truly magical fucking fingers and everything became very hazy. One finger went inside, and then two, and then three, and Sirius was hissing curses into the bed as he pumped him mercilessly, thoroughly _loosening_ every part of him. He gripped handfuls of the comforter and squeezed, not sure he could take much more.

“James… _please_ …” he whined.

“I’ve got you,” James said in a husky voice; the raw, masculine sound nearly making him lose all control.

And then James was clasping his hips between his strong hands, tilting them up and back and making him groan.

There was the sound of James rubbing lube on himself. “Are you ready?” he asked.

Sirius swallowed hard, trying to breathe. “Kiss me first,” he panted.

And in less than a second, James’ mouth was on his; his hungry, burning lips simply melting his bones and reviving his heart. “I love you,” James breathed against his mouth, “and I always will.”

Sirius swiped his tongue over his bottom lip and kissed him again, his heart throbbing. “I love you, too,” he whispered, “and I always _have_.”

James made a strangled sort of noise and then detached from his lips, leaving him wanting for so much more, but then he felt him, sliding himself between his cheeks; slowly, carefully, _lovingly_ , and all other desires instantly dissipated.

 _This_ was all he needed...was all he’d _ever_ need...

James, deep inside him, _claiming_ him.

“Holy shit…holy fucking shit,” he groaned, scrunching his eyes shut.

“Is that good?” James breathed over his shoulder.

“Fuck yes.”

James rolled his hips and thrust into him harder, hitting his sweet spot.

“Like that?”

“Yes…” Sirius said in a strangled voice. “Harder…”

James let out a feral grunt right by his ear, sending chills up and down his spine.

“God...”

And then James’ hand was clasped around his cock, squeezing hard and tugging forward, all the way to his head, whilst simultaneously thrusting into him from behind.

And yes, now he was officially seeing stars.

White hot balls of bliss, like fairies dancing before his eyes.

“Fuck, James…fuck…” he whimpered, now completely at his mercy and exactly where he wanted to be.

“I’m almost there, baby,” James’ labored voice came as he pulled out slowly and then thrust into him again.

“Me, too,” Sirius breathed, digging his nails into the bed; it was like a tsunami of pleasure wracking his body from both sides…and he wasn’t sure he’d survive it.

James continued to thrust into him, harder and harder, faster and faster, bringing everything to a single point of focus.

”Yes...yes... _yes_...” Sirius panted, relishing every blow.

More dancing fairies, and then an explosion of heat in his lower belly…everything clenched tight...

And then, glorious release.

His entire body shuddered, his heart pounded mercilessly, and he felt the slick, wetness of James’ hand as he continued to pump him vigorously, up and down, up and down…emptying him of everything he had.

And then there was James’ delicious, familiar heat, spilling inside of him and filling him up.

And for a moment, time stopped, and everything became perfectly clear.

 _This_ was all that mattered.

 _This_ was all he ever wanted.

To be this close to James.

  
***

~J~

What could be said that hadn’t just been _felt_?

There were simply no words.

James carefully pulled out of Sirius, nearly collapsing his full weight on his back, but catching himself and falling on the bed instead.

He just needed to catch his breath…get ahold of himself, stop shaking.

Because he was far from done.

_Not even close._

Not by a long shot.

The desire pumping through his veins would surely eat him alive.

The things they’d said…the feelings they’d unleashed…He’d never felt something so excruciating and yet so _exhilarating_ at the same time.

And he’d never been more sure of anything in his life.

Sirius Black was everything.

_Everything._

If he could only make him understand.

That he wasn’t going anywhere…that he wasn’t changing his mind…No matter how much Sirius kicked and screamed. No matter what daggers he threw at him…no matter how little faith he had in him…

Sirius was broken. That much was clear. And he’d spend the rest of his days trying to put him back together if that’s what it took…

_He’s fucking worth it._

There was no doubt in his mind.

After a moment, he pushed himself up and gripped onto Sirius’ bicep, rolling him to his back. He was still panting hard; his chest slick with sweat and cum and his raven hair tousled and sweaty.

And everything in James ached fiercely for him.

_God, he’s perfect...so bloody perfect._

He straddled his hips and hovered over him, clasping onto his hands, palm to palm, and lacing their fingers together before sliding them up higher and pressing them into the bed, and unable to stand it, he leaned down and kissed his mouth, tasting everything he simply couldn’t live without.

Sirius tilted his chin back and groaned, the sound making him feel positively feral; he moved from his mouth to place hungry kisses down his gorgeous bare throat.

“James…”

He smashed their lips together again, still feeling unsatisfied. He needed more.

_So much more…_

“James…”

Sirius was stroking his hair back from his face and kissing him slowly, tenderly…making him feel things. Making his _heart_ feel things. Like an avalanche of emotions threatening to crush him.

“God, I love you…” Sirius whispered against his mouth. “It hurts so fucking bad…”

And there it was.

The avalanche.

James sucked in air but when he exhaled, it came out as a sob instead. He buried his face in the crook of Sirius’ warm neck and collapsed on top of him, his body starting to quiver as the suppressed emotions rose to the surface. “I don’t want anyone to touch you,” he croaked. “You’re _mine_.”

And then Sirius’ comforting arms were squeezing him tight, holding him together.

“I know, love...and I always have been.”

James placed a wet kiss to his throat and then pulled back to stare at him, blinking the tears from his eyes.

Sirius reached up and lovingly tucked a piece of hair behind his ear, running his warm fingertips along his jaw, “I’ve only ever wanted _you_ to touch me,” he breathed, his sapphire eyes glassy, resolute.

James’ heart throbbed.

He knew his words were true.

And that was all he needed to hear…

 _God_ , he didn’t know how _much_ he needed to hear them!

How reassuring they were.

How _life-giving._

He leaned down and kissed him again, melting into him and letting go.

They couldn’t erase the past…

But that was okay.

Because right now, they were creating the future.

And what they were building...was unbreakable.

***

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ❤️👊❤️👊❤️👊❤️
> 
> This was a tough chapter, I know! 😭 It was painful to write and I was nervous to post it. But it had to be done! These two have a lot of growing up to do! And that means painful confessions and pushing each other’s boundaries. And it also means lots more comfort and make-up sex! 😘 So yay for that!🎉 Let me know your thoughts!


	49. Luck and a Werewolf

***

~S~

Sirius blinked his eyes open.

The fire snapped and crackled and he suddenly wondered what time it was.

 _7:21 a.m._ flashed in front of his eyes in blue, glowing letters making him squint.

 _Thanks_ , he thought-spoke to the Room.

He could feel James’ large body draped over him; his thigh over his hip and his heavy, muscular arm over his chest; his warm, steady breath blowing against his neck.

_How many times did we go at it last night?_

He’d lost count.

He wanted to laugh thinking about his previous fears that they somehow couldn’t live up to the very _first time_.

Because whatever they’d just spent the entire night (and morning) doing…Well, there were simply no words.

_It was off the bloody charts._

And all after they’d been at each other’s throats like a pair of bloodthirsty Hungarian Horntails…

But he guessed it made sense…They’d both released a colossal amount of anger and pain...

And the making-up was simply sublime.

_Maybe we should fight more often…_

Though in his heart, he really didn’t want that either. He didn’t think he could handle another row like that anytime soon, and he _never_ wanted to hurt James like that again.

_Absolutely not._

But he didn’t regret his confessions…even if they were excruciating.

He felt freer.

Like a burden had lifted.

Those fears needed to see the light of day…

Somehow, they seemed less daunting...less _possible_ now.

He felt James stir in his arms, humming softly before placing a warm kiss to his neck.

He closed his eyes and reveled in the feel, his toes curling into the sheets and his body automatically relaxing.

_God…_

It felt too good.

But then he needed more.

_So much more..._

He wriggled in James’ arms until they were face to face, and _Merlin_ he’d almost forgotten just how beautiful he was. He stroked his fingertips along his stubbly jaw, watching him inhale and exhale with closed eyes. And then he ran his fingers back through his sweaty, tousled hair, savoring the feel, as if it were the first time.

He found himself straining towards his mouth.

_Just…a…few…more…inches…_

There they were. Those agonizingly soft lips that could wholly undo him; one minute cutting him to pieces and the next, putting him back together again.

James made a satisfied noise and kissed him back, his lips exquisitely warm and sure; his hand trailing lazily down his side and under the covers, grasping onto his arse and squeezing possessively. “Again, babe?” he rasped.

And Sirius couldn’t help but chuckle.

_Dear god, he thinks I wanna do it again…_

And of course, he _did_ , but in that moment, he was just thoroughly enjoying his _mouth_ ; he wasn’t even sure he actually had the _strength_ to go at it again.

“You mean you’d have the energy?” he asked, before pressing into his lips and prying them open with his tongue.

“Mmm,” James noised, his hand running over every inch of his bare arse like he owned it, which in his case, he most certainly _did_. “I’m sure I could find it somewhere…deep… _deep_ down,” he said, stroking between his cheeks with his fingertips.

Sirius grunted and automatically clenched, nearly losing consciousness. “We should probably save some for the _match_ ,” he panted, caressing James’ hair back from his face and brushing their lips together.

“I don’t give a fuck about the match,” James said, pressing his hot palm into his lower back and pulling him flush against his naked body.

Sirius gasped from the sensation, fully awake now. “You will if we lose,” he breathed, their lips barely touching.

“There’s only one thing I give a fuck about right now,” James growled, “and it’s _not_ Quidditch,” and then he crashed their mouths together and pushed him back into the bed, climbing on top of him like an animal.

  
***

~J~

They made it down to breakfast looking as love-drunk and sloshed as Slughorn would be if he’d consumed an entire _bottle_ of ambrosia.

Actually, make that _two_ bottles. Maybe even three...

Because James could barely even _see_ straight...much less function.

And he prayed that his adrenaline would kick in for the match, otherwise, they were screwed.

And then he thought of _screwing_ and started to smile.

“ _There_ you are!” Remus exclaimed, suddenly jolting him from his steamy memories. “Bloody hell! _Where_ have you two been? I thought we were meeting in the game room before breakfast?”

“Erm…late night,” James said, scratching the back of his neck and feeling his cheeks burn.

“On _game_ day?” Remus asked with a look of horror.

“Yep,” Sirius said, sitting down on the bench, his shoulder-length hair sticking up in all directions.

James stared at him and started to smirk.

_Goddamn..._

“What?” Sirius asked, furrowing his brows.

“Nothing,” he muttered, biting down on his bottom lip and feeling ridiculously giddy.

What was it about sex that turned him into a literal five-year-old? 

“You couldn’t have waited until _after_?” Remus whispered, leaning towards them with wide eyes.

“We wanted to be _loose_ ,” Sirius whispered back, a wolfish grin sliding up his perfect face.

And Remus’ eyes went as large as their breakfast plates.

“Loose for what?” Peter asked, snatching a blueberry scone off a silver server and proceeding to nibble on the end of it.

“Explain it to him, Moony,” Sirius said in a low voice, cocking his head to the side and smirking like a devil.

James just stared at him and licked his lips.

_God, he is so fucking hot…_

And Remus gaped like a fish. “Git,” he finally hissed, the tips of his ears turning red.

“Don’t worry about it,” James piped in, trying to get ahold of himself. “The point is, we’re here _now_ and we’re ready to wipe the pitch with some Slytherin arses.”

Remus sighed heavily and ran a hand through his hair, “Yeah, well I wish I could just apparate out of the game and avoid Goyle entirely...”

“Yeah, well with your luck, you’d splinch yourself and he’d still pulverize your other half,” Sirius said, now drizzling copious amounts of syrup all over his ridiculously tall stack of pancakes.

James snickered and leaned towards him, “I think you’ve covered them, babe,” he whispered by his ear.

“Hey! I like my pancakes swimming in a lake of syrup, thank you very much,” Sirius replied tartly, continuing to pour.

James just shook his head and chuckled.

_Dear god I love him!_

This was the most he’d _ever_ seen Sirius eat on game day…but then again, a passionate night of love-making would probably make anyone ravenous.

“I think we stand a good chance!” Frank half-yelled from down the table, clearly listening in on the conversation.

“Right you are!” Remus said grinning before shoving a spoonful of porridge in his mouth. Just then, Lily sat down at the end of the table, smiling, and Remus abruptly stopped chewing, his mouth falling slightly agape and porridge dribbling down onto his jumper.

“Uh, mate…you may wanna close your trap,” Sirius said, cocking a brow.

And James couldn’t help but snort.

Remus promptly turned beet red and dabbed himself with a napkin.

_God, Moony’s got it bad…_

  
***

~S~

_Mother of Merlin_ how were they expected to play Quidditch after the night they’d just had?

Sirius was running off fumes and he knew James was, too.

Maybe there was such a thing as being _too_ loose…If not, then they’d just _single-handedly_ invented it…

And then he thought of James’ _hands_ and _dear god_ , he suddenly felt weak in all the right places.

_Those goddamn hands…_

“Ready?” Remus asked, nudging him in the side?

“Hmm?”

“Padfoot, get it together!” Remus hissed under his breath.

They’d just spent an hour going over plays before the match and Sirius’ eyes were officially glazed over, his brain full of marshmallow fluff. He couldn’t even concentrate on _James_ for godssakes, and that was really _saying_ something.

“I’m fine,” he snipped.

Remus just sighed and shook his head. “You two better not abandon me to the wolves when we get out there…”

“We won’t,” Sirius replied, dragging his hand back through his hair and yawning.

Remus just stared at him. “I’m not feeling very convinced.”

“Don’t _worry_ , Moony,” he said, squeezing the top of his shoulder. “You’ll be the only _wolf_ out there, I guarantee it,” and then he snickered at his own cleverness and went to find James.

“Ready?” James asked, his face sleepy but still gorgeous.

Sirius felt his cheeks burn at the sight of him. “Erm, ready as I’ll ever be, I guess. And you?” He leaned closer, “Do you think you can _grip_ a broom?”

James barked out a laugh and then covered his mouth with his hand. “I think I can manage,” he chuckled, his face flushing.

“Good,” Sirius said, trying not to grin like an idiot. “Then let’s win this bloody thing so we can go _sleep_.”

“Yes, sir,” James said, saluting him and then bumping against his side.

And _god,_ Sirius wanted to just grab a handful of his uniform and kiss him into oblivion...

So. Damn. Bad.

Drag him back to the Room and go at it again for the _millionth_ bloody time…But he needed to focus…because regardless of what James _said_ , he knew he’d be absolutely gutted if Slytherin beat them and they lost the final match of the season. 

Defeat just wasn’t an option.

  
***

~J~

The crowds were deafening, the skies were clear and the Slytherins looked as nasty and violent as ever.

James swallowed hard and rolled his shoulders.

Was he really up for this?

He wasn’t sure, but there was no time to debate now.

He’d just give it his best shot and let the chips fall where they may.

Because contrary to Sirius’ belief, he really _didn’t_ have his heart set on winning.

He felt like he’d already won…

_All night long…_

Sure, he’d be chuffed to have another medal on his shelf…another notch in his Quidditch belt, but there were things he wanted far more than that now.

He walked forward to shake Greggory Goyle’s beefy hand and tried not to wince in the slightest as the ogre of a Chaser attempted to crush all of his bones.

“Ready to die, posh boy?” Goyle sneered.

“Not at all, _Gargoyle_. In fact,” he said in a low, silky voice, squeezing his hand even tighter, “I’m ready to wipe the pitch with the lot of you.”

Goyle’s eyes widened slightly and then narrowed, steam nearly shooting out of his ears.

James yanked his hand back before he lost it for good and stalked back over to his team, puffing out his chest and swiping his hand back through his hair for good measure.

Maybe being _loose_ meant he also had a death wish.

He wasn’t sure.

But feeling so care-free was certainly making him dangerously bold, and he had to admit, it felt fucking good.

  
***

~S~

Sirius stared across the pitch at the Slytherins; their faces like stone and their green and silver clad bodies just as repulsive. And just like before, he could see Regulus, staring at him from the back of the group with his arms crossed over his chest and his shoulder-length black hair blowing in the wind, and he wondered how he fancied being just an _alternate_ and not the star of the show like he was used to being in the Black household...But if there was one thing Sirius had always been better at than him, it was _Quidditch_ ; though his family wasn’t the slightest bit impressed by his skills, because according to them, he played for the _wrong_ team. Crimson and gold could never hold a candle to _green and silver._

Madam Hooch unlatched the box with the game balls and they immediately shot up into the air.

Sirius mounted his broom and stared at James, feeling the nerves start to set in, though not nearly as bad as normal; he was too bloody worn out to be overly anxious.

“We can do this,” James said calmly, strapping his helmet on, that familiar fire back in his green eyes. “Just like we’ve practiced.”

Sirius nodded, and then he glanced to his side and saw Remus, nodding as well.

“Let the game begin!” Madam Hooch bellowed before a blow of her silver whistle.

And then they were kicking off the ground and shooting straight up.

_Here goes nothing…_

James was the first to snatch the Quaffle, his Shooting Star broom and quick reflexes still unbeatable. He slung the ball to Remus who threw it to Sirius who pretended to throw it back to James, but instead zoomed forward, barely missing getting slugged in the face by a Bludger, and slung it through the tallest goal post; the ball whizzing right by the Slytherin Keeper’s head. There was the sound of a triumphant “ding” and Gryffindor cheers filled the stadium.

_Fuck yes!_

He swung back to high-five James, grinning massively. Clearly, their new play had outsmarted the Slytherins who’d expected James to do all the scoring like usual. 

Slytherin gained possession of the Quaffle next but not for long, somehow James snatched it away from their Chaser and took off towards the goal posts. Sirius was hot on his tail, fending off any threats whilst Moony protected his side; there was another glorious “ding” and Gryffindor went wild. It almost seemed too easy, and he was tempted to do a back flip in celebration, but decided against it for fear it would bring on more punishment from Slytherin; though, scoring two goals this early on was probably enough to enrage them.

His joy was short-lived however as soon as he saw Goyle smash violently into Remus, nearly knocking him off his broom; Remus clutched at his side, looking like he was about to toss his biscuits. 

Sirius whipped over to him in a flash.

“Are you okay? he yelled, still keeping an eye on James.

“Yeah, just bruised, probably,” Remus wheezed, still clutching onto his side and grimacing.

“Should we get an alternate?”

“NO!” Remus barked.

“Then c’mon!” he yelled, leaning down on his broom and going straight for the thick of it. The Slytherins still had possession of the ball but they were currently trapped between a pair of Gryffindor Beaters and _James_. And Sirius knew it was completely bat-shit crazy, but he went straight for Goyle and slammed into him hard from behind, snatching the ball away from him in one fell swoop. And he couldn’t believe it actually worked—or that he hadn’t been taken out by a Bludger! 

“Sirius! Sirius!”

It was Remus, speeding alongside him, holding out his hand.

Sirius hesitated for a moment and then slung him the ball.

_C’mon, Moony…get it done…_

He watched in absolute awe as Remus sped towards the tallest golden hoop and chucked the Quaffle right through it, the glorious “ding” echoing through the stands.

_YES!_

The crowd went wild and Remus turned around with the biggest grin he’d ever seen him wearing. It wasn’t often that he got to score, and Sirius was elated to see him get some glory; he deserved it.

“Way to go, mate!” he yelled as he saddled up alongside him. “That was fucking brilliant!”

“Thanks!” Remus yelled back. “That felt good!”

Sirius turned to see James, grinning back at them and pumping a fist in the air, that is, until he was violently and _unnecessarily_ slammed into by Vincent Crabbe.

Sirius’ heart stopped as he watched in slow motion as James lost his balance, did a complete upside-down roll, and then righted himself on his broom.

_Oh thank god!_

Both teams continued to race up and down the field relentlessly, without either one of them able to score a goal. Finally, Slytherin scored twice and Sirius started to feel his stamina slipping away. Sweat was pouring down his face now and his body felt beyond exhausted. He couldn’t carry on much longer, something just had to give. He'd been slammed into more times than he could count, but at least James wasn’t getting the brunt of it; the downfall, however, was that he couldn’t protect Remus as well.

_Shit, Moony’s getting beaten to a pulp…_

But what could he do?

He swerved at a Bludger, barely missing it, and continued to stay on James’ tail. Slytherin had possession again.

They scored.

_Fuck. We’re tied._

And then he watched in horror as a Slytherin Beater came out of literally nowhere and slugged James in the arm with his bat. James lurched forward, clinging onto his broom as if he were about to fall off it.

_To hell with the game!_

Sirius caught up with him like lightening and grabbed hold of his broom handle, jerking him to a stop.

James was literally screaming out in pain but the crowds were so loud he could barely hear him. He needed to get him to the hospital wing and STAT.

He heard a “ding” and glanced up, expecting to see the Slytherins going wild, but it was the Gryffindors…

“Remus Lupin scores again! He’s certainly got some tricks up his sleeve! Gryffindor takes the lead!” the announcer bellowed.

Sirius clutched onto James’ good arm, steadying him, and grinned. “Holy shit, Moony’s killing it!” he exclaimed.

James just grunted.

“Okay, you’re done, love. We’re going to the hospital.”

“No! Just give me a minute,” James protested, panting and trying to push himself up on his broom. “I’m not giving up yet.”

“It’s not worth it!” Sirius yelled back.

The stands suddenly erupted with cheers and he whipped his head up to see Penelope Patil clutching onto the Snitch with a massive grin, her dark hair whipping around her.

“GRYFFENDOR WINS!”

“Holy shit, James! We WON!” he bellowed.

James grinned tiredly and nodded, his face as white as a sheet.

Sirius wrapped his arm around his waist and together they flew down to the pitch. He was never so relieved to have his feet on the ground. The crowds rushed to the field like a swarm of bees and suddenly they were surrounded.

“WE DID IT!” Frank bellowed, going for James like he was about to hoist him up.

“He’s hurt!” Sirius barked, pulling him against his side.

Instead, Frank grabbed Moony and practically tossed him atop the sea of people.

“We won,” James breathed, clutching his arm and leaning most of his weight into Sirius. “Thank fuck.”

Sirius snickered and shook his head, guiding him away from the crowds and towards the hospital wing.

Celebrating would have to wait.

  
***

~J~

The pain was like nothing James had ever felt before.

Dear _god_ , was his arm even still attached?!

It was excruciating.

He felt just on the verge of passing out.

“It’s his arm!” Sirius yelped as Madam Pomfrey rushed towards them, not seeming the least bit surprised.

“You two again, huh?” she muttered, pushing him to sit down on the bed and starting to unstrap his gear. Sirius quickly helped her.

And he nearly screamed when they peeled his undershirt off and had to lift his arm.

“Shit,” Sirius breathed.

“Language!” Madam Pomfrey barked.

“Sorry…”

James could tell by look on Sirius’ face that it was bad. “Is it broken?” he asked, squinting his eyes and wincing from the throbbing pain.

Madam Pomfrey continued to silently poke and prod at him.

“No…I don’t think it’s broken…maybe some torn ligaments…but the bone seems fine. You’re gonna be as bruised as an apple,” she muttered, walking over to a tray of medicine, “and you’ll probably need to wear a sling while it heals.”

He looked up to Sirius and grimaced.

Sirius just smiled reasuringly and nodded his head. “It’ll be okay, love,” he mouthed.

James smiled back, his heart fluttering.

And then Moony appeared, along with a gaggle of their teammates, talking loudly and still hyped on the win.

“You gonna be alright, mate?” Remus asked, coming up to his bedside.

“Yeah, nothing broken,” James said, lifting his arm up slightly and nearly screaming like a girl. He swallowed hard and blinked the tears out of his eyes. “But you sure played a brilliant game!” he choked out.

Remus beamed from ear to ear and stood taller, practically glowing; it was such a rare thing to see him so confident.

“Yeah you did!” Sirius chimed in, “How’d you pull it off?”

Remus drug his hand back through his hair, “Well, I was just sitting there on my broom, watching what happened to James, and then I realized no one was paying attention to _me_. It was too easy, really. I caught the Quaffle mid-air and took off for the goals. Everyone was so shocked, by the time they realized I had it, it was too late…And then thank _god_ Penelope caught the Snitch or else I’m not sure I could have held out for much longer.”

“I think we’ve _all_ underestimated your talents, Moony,” Sirius said, grinning.

Remus fidgeted with his hands and smiled down at his feet.

“Now go celebrate!” James said. “And we’ll meet you up there.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yes! You deserve it. Just save me some Pumpkin Pasties…I _know_ how you are.”

Remus grinned wide and nodded his head. “Will do.”

After they’d all gone, James laid back on the bed and sighed, so beyond spent and so utterly relieved that they’d won and that Moony, of _all people_ , had saved the day.

“I don’t know _how_ we did it,” Sirius’ voice came, sounding just as tired as he felt.

“Luck and a werewolf,” James muttered, his eyes feeling so heavy he could barely keep them open.

Sirius snickered, and then he felt his warm palm, sliding into his good hand and lacing their fingers together.

  
***

~S~

By the time they got to the commons the party was well underway and Remus looked sloshed beyond all measure from all the attention he was getting. Girls were practically lining up to talk to him and pat him on the back.

_Yep, his face is gonna be permanently red now…poor bloke._

Even Lily was there, looking like one of his many admirers. Maybe she was going to dump the bat in exchange for the werewolf.

_She clearly has a thing for strange creatures._

He and James hung around for a bit, congratulated the rest of the team, and then they were piling food into their arms and heading upstairs, not even caring what people might think. At least they had James’ injury as an excuse.

Sirius set the food down on James’ nightstand and started peeling his clothes off.

“Bloody hell,” he groaned, pulling his shirt up, only to find that his constellation pin had left an excruciating imprint in his skin, having been smashed against him for so long.

“God,” James hissed, staring at the mark and brushing his fingertips over it. “I think you’ve got _Sirius_ permanently branded on your chest.”

He winced. “I think I’d rather have it tattooed than _this_ …”

James rubbed the spot with his fingers, relieving the soreness and moving closer to him “Hey,” he said.

Sirius looked up at him, his heart beating harder.

“Shower and then eat?” James asked.

Sirius smirked. “I thought you’d never ask.”

James grinned and leaned down, their lips almost touching, “But I can’t do much with one hand.”

“For what I have in mind, you won’t even _need_ your hands,” Sirius purred, rising up on his tip-toes and pressing their lips together.

~~~

But unfortunately, it didn’t really matter _what_ Sirius had planned, because the loo was much too busy with party-goers coming in and out for them to get frisky. They quickly showered separately and met back in their room, nearly collapsing on top of each other on James’ bed.

Sirius handed James a plate of apple strudel and a fork.

“Do you need me to feed you, love?”

“I think I can manage,” James said sleepily, his eyes droopy and his face soft, and Sirius had a hard time looking away. A _sleepy_ James always did funny things to his heart.

He grabbed his own plate and inhaled deeply; the smell of hot apples and cinnamon and sweet flaky crust absolute _heaven_. He took a bite and sank back into the pillows next to James, in complete ecstasy.

“It was worth it…” he sighed.

“Hmm?”

“Winning the bloody match…just to eat _this_ …”

James chuckled deeply and leaned his head against the side of his own, “You mean my almost death was worth it so you could eat this?”

“Yes,” Sirius said flatly, and then they both started laughing. He scooted closer to him. “But nothing tastes as good as _you_ do…”

“Even apple strudel?”

“Even apple strudel.”

James turned to face him, wincing slightly as he moved his hurt arm in the sling, “Hey,” he said, suddenly going serious. “Thanks for saving me… _again_.”

Sirius shrugged. “I said I’d always have your back…and I meant it. Always.”

“How can I ever repay you?”

“No need. All I ever wanted was you.”

James licked his lips and swallowed, “And you have me…” he said, leaning down towards him and brushing their lips together, and all Sirius could taste was warm apple strudel and James; a positively _lethal_ combination. He pulled away to set his plate down on the nightstand and then carefully crawled on top of him. “I’ll be gentle,” he said, stroking his hair back and leaning forward, slowly pressing their lips together. A small moan escaped the back of James’ throat and his body went completely limp, except for the hand he kept clutched around Sirius’ thigh. Sirius brushed his damp hair back and kissed him on the forehead, smelling his shampoo and going weak, and then he trailed kisses down his jaw and back to his impatient lips.

But he could feel James struggling to use his other hand.

“Maybe we shouldn’t do anything until you’re better,” he said, pulling back and eyeing his hurt arm.

“Baby, I can’t wait that long,” James groaned. “I don’t care if it hurts.”

Sirius grinned and leaned to the side, snatching his wand off the nightstand and flicking the bed curtains shut.

James smiled and gripped his hip with his good hand, squeezing tightly. “Now _please_ _kiss me_ ,” he whined. “While my lips are still functional.”

Sirius stroked his hair back again and clasped his face between his palms, “Gladly.”

***

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ❤️🥧😘❤️🥧😘❤️


	50. Wispy Wings and Prophesied Things

***

~J~

“Do you think they’ll actually make us apparate today?” Remus asked as they were all walking down to the Great Hall on Sunday afternoon.

“Doubtful,” Sirius replied. “I’m sure they’ll want to go over _The_ _Three D’s_ again, or perhaps _the horrors of splinching_ ,” he said in a high voice, clearly mocking McGonagall.

James just yawned and swiped his hair back with his good hand, wishing they could hurry up and get the whole ordeal over with so he could go back to _bed_. His arm was still in a blasted sling and still throbbing like a bitch; the medicine he’d gotten from Madam Pomfrey was only _mildly_ helping.

“Well, we’re gonna have to actually _practice_ doing it sometime,” Remus sighed. “Or else we’re—“

“James!”

James snapped his head up.

It was Marco…walking straight towards him.

_Holy shit._

He stiffened and held his breath.

“Hey, mate! Great game yesterday!”

“Uh, thanks,” he replied, anxiously running a hand back through his hair, suddenly highly aware of Sirius’ presence by his side.

“Sorry about your arm, though…looks like you really took a beating.”

“Well, I’ve had worse,” he chuckled nervously.

Marco grinned at him, his smile still blindingly white and his eyes still hazel. “Well, maybe when you’re feeling up to it, we can toss the ball around sometime…”

_Oh boy._

James swallowed hard. “Well, my schedule might be pretty full till the end of term…so I’ll just have to see.”

Marco’s face fell slightly, his eyes narrowing. “Okay…well just let me know.”

_Maybe I should have been more clear…_

_Here goes…_

And then he wrapped his arm possessively around Sirius’ waist, grasping onto his hip bone and squeezing hard as he pulled him into his side.

Marco’s eyes widened considerably, and Sirius jolted under his touch, but then James took a step forward, his hand still locked in place, and they all kept moving.

_Holy shit…holy shit…_

He glanced back at Macro after they’d walked past him; the bloke’s mouth was agape and his eyes round, and just for good measure, James deliberately slid his hand down to Sirius’ arse and squeezed.

_Yep, that should do the trick._

He faced forward again, smirking up a storm.

“Wanna tell me what all _that_ was about?” Remus asked, his eyes glued to where his hand still rested on Sirius’ arse.

Sirius remained silent but there was a devious smirk playing on his lips that couldn’t be missed. 

James pulled his hand away and drug his fingers back through his hair, “Just sending a message.” 

“I don’t even wanna know,” Remus sighed, shaking his head.

“Yeah, you probably don’t,” James snickered, unable to contain his goofy grin.

  
***

~S~

_So yeah…_

James had just claimed his arse…in _public_ …

No big deal…

And all right in front of one of the fucking hottest blokes he’d ever seen.

How had he never paid attention to this _Marco_ before?

Oh right, because _James Potter_ existed.

_God’s gift to humanity…_

What he would give to shove him in a broom cupboard right now and thank him _repeatedly_ for the bold gesture!

_Sweet Jesus…_

Did they _really_ need to go to apparition practice today?!

So what if all classes were mandatory…Wasn’t showing _gratitude_ even more important than appearing and disappearing at will?

_Damn it._

He grabbed James’ hand and squeezed tight as they were shoving their way into the Great Hall. James turned and looked at him, smiling like a complete and utter tosser, but one that you just wanted to bloody lay into…bang the daylights out of and snog six ways to Sunday…

_God…_

“Attention! Attention!” McGonagall’s shrill voice came. “Please sign in and line up against the wall! Today, we will _officially_ begin practicing apparating…”

“Holy shit!” Moony exclaimed, turning back to look at them.

“With an instructor,” McGonagall finished.

“Oh, thank _god_ ,” Remus sighed, visibly relaxing.

James snorted and shook his head.

“Each student will be paired with an _expert_ who will apparate with them to Hogsmeade, because acclimating to the _feel_ of apparition is _half_ the challenge. Many people experience extreme nausea and disorientation. Today, with the aid of an instructor, you will discover how apparition affects you _physically_.” 

James groaned and leaned into Sirius’ side, “Just brilliant,” he whispered by his ear, raising every hair on his body and making his knees go positively weak.

_Goddamn it, James!_

“Erm, yeah…sounds like a great way to toss my breakfast,” he whispered back, trying to control his heart rate. He was in no way over the whole _Marco_ encounter, not by a long shot.

_He grabbed my fucking arse! In public!_

“I’m more worried about moving my arm,” James said, lifting it slightly and then wincing.

“Oh, that’s right,” Sirius said. “Maybe you should sit this one out? I don’t want you hurting it even worse…And you _have_ actually apparated before with your parents, so you already know the feel…”

James furrowed his gorgeous brows and sucked on his bottom lip, thinking.

_Stop doing that, you tosser!_

“Mr. Potter?”

They both looked up.

It was McGonagall, striding towards them like an aging shrew in magenta velvet robes.

“Yes, Professor?”

“As you are currently injured, Mr. Potter, _I_ will be your apparition partner for today. I wouldn’t trust Flitwick not to jolt the life out of you,” she sniffed. And then she rested a spindly hand atop his good shoulder, “I’ll make sure you come to no harm.”

And they both just gaped at her.

_Is she actually giving him special treatment? Merlin._

“Erm, thanks, Professor. I appreciate that,” James said.

And then McGonagall blushed ( _fucking_ _blushed!_ ) and leaned towards him, “I’m so sorry you were injured in the game, but we simply couldn’t have won it without you…and now we stand a _real_ chance of winning the House Cup!”

She was gushing _and_ complimenting him?

_Dear god, she’s fallen in love with him, too. Why am I surprised?_

“Thanks,” James said, shifting on his feet and turning red. “I’m glad I could help out.”

McGonagall nodded, her grey eyes twinkling, and patted him on the shoulder.

After she’d walked away, James just shook his head. “Don’t start,” he half-growled.

Sirius just chuckled and shoved his hands in his pockets. “I’ve got nothin’ to say, mate. Nothin’ at all.”

“Dick.”

“ _God_ , I love ‘em.”

James turned to look at him wide-eyed and red-faced, and then started laughing.

“Now, if everyone will form three lines, we can all take turns partnering up. Professor Flitwick, Professor Grubbly-Plank, Myself and—"

McGonagall jolted as Wilkie Twycross, the Ministry of Magic Apparition instructor, suddenly appeared beside her.

“Was he there the whole time?!” Sirius hissed.

“I dunno. He just appeared out of thin air.”

“Well I guess that is kinda the definition of _apparating_ …”

James snickered.

“And Mr. _Twycross_ ,” McGonagall finished, staring at the thin, delicate man with pursed lips. “Let’s begin.”

They moved to stand in line behind an anxious Moony and a chattering Frank and Sirius suddenly started to feel nervous. He’d only apparated a handful of times in his short life and they’d all mostly been with Mr. and Mrs. Potter. And he thought he had remembrances of apparting with his mother, long ago, but he couldn’t be certain. He made it a habit to shove down all of his childhood memories, preferring _not_ to revisit them.

James’ turn came next with McGonagall waiting for him impatiently, tapping her pointy black boot against the stone floor. James stepped forward and then glanced back at him, his green eyes sparkling, “I’ll see you on the other side,” he said intently, his lips pulling up into a heart-stopping grin.

And Sirius positively melted.

Like hot fudge sliding down the sides of a Bat Blood sundae.

_Oh god…_

But before he could even reply, McGonagall had taken hold of James’ good arm and they disappeared with a small “pop”.

Sirius’ heart sunk.

“Next,” an unfamiliar voice came.

He looked up to see Wilkie Twycross.

The oddly colorless man stared at him for a beat, looking him up and down suspiciously, and then his eyes widened to capacity and his mouth fell open, as if he’d just seen a ghost.

Sirius took a step forward.

Wilkie took a step back.

“Erm, is everything okay, Sir?” he asked in a low voice, starting to feel uncomfortable. People were _definitely_ staring.

“Uh, yes…yes…Everything is fine, young man. And what is your name?”

“Sirius.”

The man blinked rapidly; his long, nearly transparent eyelashes flapping like fairy wings. “Sirius?”

“Black.”

Wilkie gasped slightly and ran a hand nervously through his side-swept, wispy hair; which sometimes appeared white, and others, _iridescent_.

“Are you okay, sir?”

“Yes…it’s just…”

The man seemed to be struggling terribly with something and then a great pain fell over his pale, aristocratic face; his blueish-grey eyes filling with unmistakable sadness.

_What is going on?!_

“It’s nothing,” the man finally said.

Sirius just shrugged, utterly confused, and the next thing he knew, he was standing in the dining room of the Three Broomsticks.

“What the—”

He hadn’t even realized he’d apparated.

“Finally!” James said, rushing towards him. “What took so bloody long? You were just behind me.”

“Where is he?”

“Who?”

“Twycross.”

“Didn’t you come with him?”

“Well, I thought…but where’d he go?”

“Knowing _that_ fairy, he probably already apparated back. I don’t think he plays by the same rules as everyone else…” James said, leaning into him.

Sirius nodded, his mind feeling slightly sluggish…but other than that, he felt completely normal. It was the first time he’d ever apparated without feeling _sick_.

“That was strange…” he muttered.

“What?”

“I’ll tell you about it later.”

~~~

They continued to apparate back and forth from the Great Hall to the Three Broomsticks with an instructor as their guide until everyone was thoroughly worn out, with many students tossing their biscuits; Remus, being one of the _unfortunate_ ones.

And Sirius was highly aware that Wilkie Twycross avoided him like the plague for the remainder of the class, and he couldn’t help but feel bothered by it. He didn’t know the man from Adam and had no idea why his presence would be so upsetting to him…He was a _strange creature_ , that much was for sure.

“So what was it you wanted to talk to me about?” James asked as they were trudging their way back up to their room.

“Erm…nothing really…Just that Twycross acted peculiar when he saw me…”

“Wispy Wilkie?”

Sirius snorted. “Huh?”

“Oh, it’s just a name I came up with for him. Suits him, eh?”

“Yeah,” Sirius said, suddenly feeling strange.

“So what happened with him?”

“Well, he just acted like he’d seen a ghost when he looked at me.”

“Are you sure _Peeves_ wasn’t behind you, pulling rude faces?” James snickered.

“No…It was me, I’m sure of it. I asked him what was wrong and he seemed to struggle for the words, and then finally just said it was _nothing_ …but it certainly didn’t feel like it was _nothing_. If possible, he actually seemed to _lose_ color when he looked at me.”

“Damn. Well, maybe you just reminded him of someone…”

Sirius sighed, “Yeah, maybe. It was just odd.”

“Well, don’t let it spoil your Sunday…we have more _important_ things to do,” James said grinning.

“Oh yeah, like what?”

“Like I need you to put some more medicine on my arm.”

Sirius grinned devilishly, quickly forgetting all about _Wispy Wilkie_ and suddenly remembering the snogging session he owed James for touching him in public and sending _Marco the Murtlap_ on his merry way.

They raced up to their room and flung open the door.

“Hey!” Peter yelped from his bed, jolting upright, licorice wands scattering to the floor as he did.

“Out!” James demanded.

“But why?”

“Wormy, _out_ ,” he said sternly, pointing towards the door.

“Oh, alright,” Peter huffed, his lips pursed. “But you _owe_ me!”

“Do you _want_ to stay and watch the show?” Sirius snickered.

“Hell no!”

“Then be grateful and _go_.”

Peter stomped out the door shoving licorice in his pockets and muttering something about chess, or maybe it was _cheese,_ under his breath.

Remus was currently in the hospital wing, along with a gaggle of other students, getting something for his nausea, and then he would have Prefect duties for the rest of the afternoon. So the room was all theirs!

James crawled up on his bed, collapsing against the pillows with a groan, and Sirius wasted no time in crawling right on top of him.

“Horny?” James asked, cocking a brow.

Sirius snorted. “Grateful.”

“For what?”

“You _know_ what.”

James’ eyes lit up and he started to grin, but not just _any_ grin—his damn _school boy_ grin that was simply impossible to resist. And Sirius didn’t even try. He gripped the base of his neck and found his mouth, kissing him like he’d been _dying_ to all bloody day. Hard and passionate and breathless. And it was well worth the wait.

“God,” James breathed, pulling back slightly and gripping onto his waist with one hand, the other still strapped to his chest. “I should grope you in public more often.”

“I wish you could,” Sirius said, going for his mouth again and melting against him. James swiped his tongue between his lips, making him shudder.

_Mother of Merlin…_

“What’s stopping us?” James breathed, running his hand down to his arse and squeezing.

“You _know_ what,” Sirius whispered against his lips.

James kissed him again and sighed.

“It’s not safe for _everyone_ to know,” Sirius said, nuzzling their faces together and feeling utterly sloshed. And it wasn’t helping that James’ dick was hard and warm and wanting and pressing against his own; he was trying to decide what to do about it…

“Babe?”

“Hmm?”

“Will you put the medicine on?”

Sirius pulled back and cocked a brow. “Are you asking if I’ll take your shirt off and touch you repeatedly?”

“Maybe,” James chuckled, the deep, luscious sound of his voice vibrating straight through him. “And you can take yours off, too…If you _want.._.”

Sirius flushed and shook his head. He yanked his jumper off and tossed it aside, thoroughly enjoying the look on James’ face and the obvious hitch in his breath as he stared his naked torso up and down.

“See something you like?”

“Every day.”

And _Merlin_ , the wicked look in his emerald eyes!

_That should be illegal._

Sirius inhaled deeply and tried to focus. “And now your turn,” he said, gently undoing the sling around James’ hurt arm. After he’d finished getting it off he held the hem of James’ jumper and slowly, carefully, pulled it up and over his head and then down and off his arm. James winced slightly. “Almost there, love,” he said, leaning forward and placing a kiss to his bicep. The bruising looked absolutely ghastly; like a banana, _weeks_ past its prime, but he wasn’t about to tell _him_ that. “I think you’re healing quite well,” he said, brushing his fingertips over his pec and down his arm.

James closed his eyes and exhaled shakily.

“Did I hurt you?”

“No…it feels good.”

Sirius smirked and grabbed the tin of medicine off his nightstand. “Well, hopefully this will, too,” he said, dipping his fingers inside and getting a good dollop of the minty smelling goop. “At least it doesn’t reek like that other stuff Madam Pomfrey gave you.”

“Mmm, true,” James said. His eyes still closed.

Sirius smiled and then positioned him so he was leaning back against the pillows again, his head propped against the headboard.

“Touch me,” James whined.

“Alright, alright, calm down… _bloody hell_ …” Sirius teased, just as thrilled to do the touching. He straddled his lap. “Now this might be a bit cold,” he said, hesitating before slathering the goop on him.

“I don’t fucking care…just do it.”

“Feisty, are we?”

“ _Babe_.”

Sirius snickered and smeared the stuff across his breast, lightly kneading his fingers into the bruised skin and then, unable to help himself, he rubbed the pad of his thumb over his erect nipple.

“God,” James groaned, his lips parted and his breaths coming out shallow and quick.

And Sirius was officially aroused.

He swallowed hard and rubbed the ointment on the top of James’ shoulder, over his painfully bruised bicep, down his arm, and all the way to his hand.

“Don’t stop,” James whispered.

Sirius licked his lips and stared at him. “James.”

“What?” he asked, blinking his eyes open.

“Somehow this is gonna end badly.”

“How so?”

“Somehow, this stuff is gonna end up on your _dick_ and we’re gonna have another Whomping Willow incident.”

James snorted, his shoulders shaking slightly, and then he winced. “That stuff isn’t coming anywhere _near_ my dick.”

“If you keep _moaning_ every time I touch you, there’s no telling _what_ will end up on your dick.”

James doubled over with laughter. “Would you stop! You’re gonna _kill_ me.”

“Stop moaning then!”

“I _can’t_!”

They were both laughing now and Sirius promptly tossed the tin of medicine aside and went for his mouth.

James groaned and gripped onto his arse with both hands, pulling him into his groin.

_Oh god...yes...yes..._

“No,” Sirius said, reluctantly pushing back. “Not with your hurt arm.”

“ _Please_ , baby.”

“Put the sling on.”

“Fine.”

James huffed and puffed with the disposition of a two-year-old and begrudgingly helped him get the thing back on.

“Maybe we should take it easy,” Sirius said, stroking his hair back from his face and then clasping onto his chin. “Not touching seems to be _impossible_ for you…I may just have to tie you up…” he muttered.

“I wouldn’t mind,” James said, and a little _too_ quickly…as if he’d thought about it before. “I mean, I’d _mind_ …because I’d _want_ to touch you…but I’m sure I’d still like it.”

Sirius narrowed his eyes. “Not like you’ve ever thought about this before, huh?”

James flushed and swallowed hard, a guilty expression crossing his handsome face. “Never,” he said, clearly trying not to grin.

Sirius sighed and shook his head. “You’re impossible.”

“But I’m all _yours_.”

And he couldn’t help but chuckle.

“Maybe we should just talk for right now…save the _tying up_ for when you’re healed.”

James’ face fell. “Oh alright, but I’ll hold you to it.”

“I have no doubt.”

And then James shifted uncomfortably and averted his eyes.

“What is it?”

“Oh…well…there was _something_ I’ve been wanting to ask you about, actually…but I didn’t wanna upset you by bringing it up...”

Sirius’ heart beat harder.

“What?”

“Well…it was what you said the other night…about a _Seer_...and something they told you…”

Sirius tried to swallow but couldn’t.

_Shit._

“Something about you dying alone and broken-hearted? You maybe wanna un-pack that for me a little, babe?”

Now Sirius was the one squirming.

“Well, it was just something I was told a long time ago. I was twelve, I think (he was twelve and half to be _exact_ ) and I was somewhere with my parents (at a dinner party hosted in his parent’s house for like-minded, pure-blooded _friends_ ) when this batty old lady comes up to me out of nowhere and says she’s a Prophetess or something (a _Seer_ to be precise) and then…”

“And then what?”

“And then she went cross-eyed and said the prophecy.” 

“A prophecy? Like a _real_ prophecy? Or was she just talking out of her arse?”

Sirius narrowed his eyes. “I thought you didn’t believe in all that Divination malarkey? Those _deluded tosspots_ as I remember you calling them.”

James huffed and rolled his eyes. “Yeah, I _don’t_ …but never mind about that. What was it? An official prophecy or an old lady’s gibberish?”

“She said it was a prophecy...and she kind of shimmered as she said it.”

“What the fuck?”

Sirius shrugged.

“And what did she say _exactly_?”

“Erm…It was something like, _A fate worse than death, hollow as the grave, isolation beyond measure, taking all you’ve ever craved…”_

As if he’d _ever_ forget the exact words. They were burned into his skull, branded on his heart…

“Wow,” James breathed, his eyes glazed over.

“But it probably doesn’t really mean anything…” Sirius said, absently rubbing the medicine deeper into James’ pec.

“Right,” James said, still looking dazed.

They were both silent for a moment.

“And you’ve been carrying this burden around since you were _twelve_?” James asked, his eyes widening.

Sirius shrugged again, “Well, it’s not the _worst_ thing someone’s ever told me…”

James sighed and slid his hand up his back, all the way to his neck, and pulled him forward. “I won’t let it happen,” he breathed, their lips almost touching.

“But I thought you didn’t _believe_ in prophecies?”

“I don’t…but just in case…”

Sirius raised his brows in surprise, and then James was kissing him fiercely, _desperately,_ clutching onto him like he might just disappear.

  
***

~J~

“Was it _porcupine quills_ or _horned slugs_ that were used in the _Elixir to Induce Euphoria_?” James asked, chewing on his lip and flipping through his Potions book.

“Erm…I think it was porcupine quills,” Sirius replied, his face scrunched as he searched through a stack of old notes.

 _Why_ they ever decided to continue with their study of Potions, he’d never know…they were both absolute rubbish at it.

_Oh yeah, it was because Lily was taking the class…_

_Merlin, what a mistake._

James wasn’t sure how they’d both even passed their O.W.L’s for it the year before…Maybe Slughorn had felt particularly sorry for them…Regardless, they would definitely be dropping the subject in their Seventh year; it wasn’t like either one of them wanted a career in _potions_.

_Far from it…_

“And Valerian roots are used to make the _Draught of Peace_?” he asked, simultaneously scribbling things down on a piece of parchment.

He looked up and noticed Sirius staring at him. “What?”

Sirius smirked and looked back down at the table.

“The glasses getting to you again?” he asked, leaning towards him.

Sirius wriggled in his chair and flushed. “Just go back to studying, you git,” he hissed.

“Will you _ever_ get used to them?” James asked, pulling the black frames down his nose and moving his face even closer to him.

“Stop it!” Sirius barked, starting to laugh and shove him away.

And then Lily and Snape suddenly appeared, walking past them on a mission by the looks of it, and straight to a table in the back of the library.

_Fabulous._

  
***

~S~

Sirius observed the pair as they walked by. They seemed to be back to normal…though the bat did look noticeably more pale and sickly than usual, _if_ _possible_. Maybe all their late-night trysts in the Room were getting to be too much for him.

He noticed James staring at them as well and ribbed him in the side.

“What are you thinking?”

“I was just wondering whatever happened with the whole Goyle recruitment thing…And is it just me, or does the bat look even more like _death_ than usual? Maybe he hasn’t been getting enough blood from his victims.”

Sirius chuckled and stared at Snape. “Yes, he definitely looks _worse_ …and I didn’t think that was even possible. Why do you think?”

“Maybe he’s spending too much time in his cave…plotting world domination.”

“Well, as pale as he is, I’m pretty sure one ray of sunlight would strike him dead.”

“Maybe our old theory is true after all,” James said pensively, resting his chin in his hand and narrowing his eyes.

“Which one?”

“That he’s really a _vampire_. It would explain so much.”

Sirius started to grin at the memory. Not so long ago, they’d taunted Snape by carrying around little wooden crosses and throwing pods of garlic at his face, saying they hoped it would ward off an attack. And once, Sirius had even enchanted his own teeth to grow longer to resemble a vampire, and he kept following Snape around, harassing him and grinning like a tosspot, that is, until his teeth continued to grow out of control and he had to run down to the hospital wing and ask Madam Pomfrey for help whilst looking like an overgrown walrus…

“Yeah, that one may be spot on,” he said, shaking his head.

They both turned back to their books.

“Maybe you should…never mind…” James faded off.

“What?”

“Ask Lily about the _prophecy_ …She’s into all that rubbish, you know.”

“James! If it’s _rubbish_ , then why does it matter?”

“ _Babe_.”

“What?”

“It can’t hurt. I’ll ask her for you if you want me to.”

“Absolutely not!” Sirius hissed. “It’s _none_ of her business! And besides, I’m sure she’d blab to the bat and wouldn’t he just _love_ to get his bony little hands on the information… _God_. I’d rather just let the prophecy come true.”

“Don’t say that!” James snapped.

“I never should have told you about it,” Sirius sighed, resting his elbows on the table and pressing his face into his palms. “You’re never gonna drop it, are you?” he mumbled.

“Like hell I will,” James growled by his ear. “We’re gonna disprove it and _then_ move on.”

“Brilliant.”

And if there was one thing he knew about James Potter, it was that he was nothing if not _determined_.

***

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 🤔🔮🤔🔮🤔🔮🤔
> 
> 🎉🥳This is the 50th chapter!🥳🎉 WOW!!! I wasn’t sure I’d live to see the day! Your support and encouragement has meant the world! 🤗❤️ Thank you SO much! There’s still a lot more to come, folks! We’re only halfway there!💫


	51. Just in Case

***

~J~

James lay awake that night, staring at the canopy ceiling of his four-poster, his face twisted and his mind miles away.

_A fate worse than death, hollow as the grave, isolation beyond measure, taking all you’ve ever craved…_

He scrunched his eyes shut.

He hadn’t been able to shake the sickening feeling he’d had ever since Sirius had recited the blasted thing.

The fact was, it sounded pretty fucking ominous.

And it wasn’t that he even gave much credence to prophecies or _anything_ within the realm of Divination…but this was about _Sirius_ for godssakes! And the “prophecy” hadn’t come about by way of some soggy old tea leaves in the bottom of a chipped teacup or some dodgy vision inside a crystal ball…From the sound of it, the Seer’s method seemed spot-on with how typical prophecies came about. Though he knew nothing of the Seer herself…and neither did Sirius. Maybe she was just sloshed beyond measure and talking out of her arse like he hoped…

Maybe Sirius had just misinterpreted the whole thing...held onto it for all these years...projected his fears...

Then why did it feel so bloody foreboding?

So _real_?

So _possible_?

James huffed and ran his hand over his face.

He needed answers and he knew exactly where he needed to go to get them.

He rolled over and slid off the side of his bed, going straight for his top dresser drawer and carefully pulling it open. He snatched up the Invisibility Cloak and threw it over himself.

~~~

James rubbed his eyes and yawned.

How long had he been sitting there? On the icy-cold floor of the Restricted Section, wrapped in the Cloak, sorting through old books with only his wand light to see by and only one good arm to hold it up…

And so far, he’d found absolutely nothing interesting.

Prophecies seemed pretty straightforward…The “real” ones were spoken by a Seer, typically in poetic verse and sometimes accompanied by an odd, uncharacteristic voice and flashes of light or swirls of energy…But the one thing they all had in common was that they were impossibly difficult to decipher. The majority of the time they only made sense _after_ the prophecy had come to pass.

Official prophecies were stored in the Hall of Prophecies at the Department of Mysteries at the Ministry of Magic, but of course, he already _knew_ that. The dilemma was actually getting _inside_ the place to find a prophecy…not to mention the fact that the only people who could _access_ said prophecies were the _Keeper of the Hall of Prophecy_ and the individuals actually involved in them…

He wondered if Sirius would fancy a jaunt down to the Ministry of Magic…

He chuckled to himself.

_Right._

_Maybe if I tied him up and gave him a sleeping draught._

Yet another roadblock, and maybe the most _important_ one of all—Sirius _clearly_ didn’t want to be pressured on the subject; the prophecy was terrible enough to haunt him for six bloody years, yet he wasn’t the least bit interested in getting to the bottom of it.

_Good grief…_

So what was James supposed to do? Just sweep the whole ordeal under the rug and hope it wasn’t true?

It was too late for that now...The knowledge would always be sitting in the back of his mind, like a Sphinx refusing to divulge its secret.

He stared down at the ancient, dragon-hide book in his arms and frowned. There were entire chapters devoted to the _madness_ induced by prophecies. Harrowing accounts of witches and wizards who were driven completely insane because they either one, went to great lengths to try and _avoid_ their bleak fate, or two, they tried to _force_ a positive one, and thereby created a dreadful one. Not to mention the lunacy and damaging ripple effects created by those that either completely misinterpreted their prophecy altogether or were miss-associated with a prophecy that wasn’t even _theirs_ to begin with.

_Fucking hell._

James snapped the book shut with force, a cloud of dust billowing in his face as he did, and then he sneezed so loud he could have sworn he felt the bookcases tremble.

“Who’s there?!”

_Shit._

It was Filch, _of course._

Lurking about the library after midnight, one of his favorite pastimes.

James jumped up and shoved the book back on the shelf.

“I know you’re in here you filthy little brats! I’ll hang you by your wrists from the ceiling when I catch you! Feed you to the Giant Squid...”

James sighed and exited the library undetected, in no mood to tolerate the sadistic threats of the deranged caretaker or his evil cat, Mrs. Norris

He had much more important things on his mind…like how do you prevent a prophecy you don’t even understand from coming true?

And how do you even know if a prophecy is really _true_ to begin with?

Part of him _really_ wanted to ask Lily about it, and the other part knew Sirius would go absolutely bat-shit crazy if he found out that he’d talked to her…And that didn’t sound appealing in the least. But what new light could she possibly shed on the subject anyway? From what he’d read, it seemed pretty hopeless.

For now, he would let it go…wait for the right moment…or for something to happen.

And not that he really believed in _fate_ anyway, but there must be a reason he was just _now_ finding out about this…Why Sirius had never mentioned it before was beyond him…He’d had plenty of opportunities over the years.

But regardless, real or not, the prophecy _meant_ something…even if it just shed light on Sirius’ greatest fears: being abandoned and broken-hearted...left without the thing he loved, or _craved_ , most…which Sirius had made pretty clear, was in fact, _him_.

But just because Sirius interpreted the prophecy that way, didn’t mean that’s what it actually _meant_.

James sighed and went straight for his bed, letting the Cloak fall to the floor as he pulled the covers back. He was starting to feel just as mentally unhinged as the poor souls he’d just read about.

 _This_ was exactly why delving into the unknown was to be avoided at all costs.

It simply led to madness.

Best to let the chips fall where they may…

No pushing.

No avoiding.

Let fate take its course.

Not that he really _believed_ in all that rubbish anyway…

_But just in case…_

***


	52. Like Waves on the Ocean

***

~S~

Things were moving right along.

Not wonderfully...

But still.

They were _moving_.

And that was really all that mattered, because making it to summer was Sirius’ one constant, overpowering, all-consuming _desire_ , whether awake or asleep. Well, _nothing_ topped his desire to be with James, but that was included in _summer_.

The summer meant living with James… _being_ with James in every way possible…and there was nothing he wanted more than that.

So he slogged through the impossible coursework that their professors kept piling on them like the psychotic, despots that they were, and he endured endless study sessions orchestrated by a very demanding and albeit, strung-out Moony, and he even sacrificed time in the _Room_ , all in an effort to hurry up and get the hell outta Hogwarts and into a flat with James in god-knows-where so they could bang it out properly any damn time they wanted...

Was that so much to ask?!

_Jesus._

He just had to keep pressing on.

James’ arm was finally healed and they’d made massive headway in apparition. They were now _actually_ apparating by themselves! Yes, Wilkie Twycross was still avoiding him like the plague and yes, it still made him feel uneasy, but he was almost used to it by now. Part of him really wanted to go up to the strange man and ask him point-blank what his problem was, but the other part of him had a feeling that if he came on too strong, the skittish little fairy would just apparate to the other side of the room, or perhaps even fade into oblivion altogether… _Cause of death: an encounter with Sirius Black._

So that was that.

And thank _god_ , James had finally laid the whole _prophecy_ thing to rest.

Dredging that thing up was about as enjoyable as a run-in with his _family_.

He grimaced at the thought.

_I’d rather choose death._

But that was the past, and now he was focused on the future.

_Only happy thoughts from here on out._

He was done with his family, _almost_ done with school, and about to have the best damn summer of his life.

Because for the first summer ever, he had _James_.

Now he was smiling, like a full-on, soppy grin that would give even a sloshed pixie a run for their money.

And when he looked up, he realized he was standing in front of the four, giant House point hourglasses at the entrance of the castle. His eyes shot straight to the Gryffindor hourglass and the massive, golden statue of a lion perched on top of it.

_We’re still in the lead…Thank Merlin._

This was the first term in his six years at Hogwarts that he hadn’t actually _lost_ his House points…

These days, the only _naughty_ behavior he engaged in involved James’ dick, and that was exactly how he preferred it.

He watched as a handful of gleaming red rubies fell from the top of the hourglass to the pyramid shaped heap of gems below it.

Somewhere, some over-achieving Gryffindor was racking up points for them.

_Probably Moony._

He smirked.

The only time _he’d_ ever gained his House points was in a Quidditch match, and that was probably how it would always be...

“Hey,” a familiar _and yet utterly surprising_ voice came.

He turned around.

It was _Regulus._

His younger brother was standing in front of him with his hands in his pockets and a passive expression on his pale, high-boned face—a face that looked much too like their _father’s._

Sirius inhaled deeply and stared back at him. “Hey,” he replied, feeling his entire body clench, ready to spring out of danger at any moment. But he didn’t let it show. He was a master at feigning disinterest. He’d had a lifetime to practice.

“What do you want?” he drawled, raking his fingers back through his hair.

Regulus shifted on his feet and then took a step closer, apprehension written all over his tense movements.

_Nervous because your precious little pet Kreacher isn’t by your side to protect you?_

_Fucking bastard._

Sirius hooked his thumbs in his trouser pockets and raised his brows. “Well?”

“Well, I was just wondering…Are you coming home for the summer at all?”

This was unexpected.

If Regulus didn’t know the answer to that by now…well then maybe he was even more deranged than he’d given him credit for.

_What?!_

Sirius gritted his teeth. “You _heard_ mother…you _saw_ what she did,” he said icily, referring, of course, to when his mother literally blasted his name and face off their beloved family tree. “What would possess you to think I’d _ever_ return?”

Regulus inhaled deeply, “Well, I didn’t know if you’d left anything behind of any importance and needed to collect it…”

“Since when do _you_ care?” Sirius spat.

Yes, he’d officially lost his cool now.

“It was just a question!” Regulus hissed back, moving even closer, his grey eyes like flint and much, _much_ too like their mother’s.

Sirius crossed his arms and took a step back. “ _No_ , I didn’t leave anything behind of _value_ …Though, even if I did, I’m sure your precious little pet _Kreacher_ would have already tossed it into the fire.”

Regulus pursed his lips and crossed his arms, mirroring his body language. “Fine,” he snipped, starting to turn around, but then he stopped himself. “And _where_ , may I ask, are you planning on living?” 

Sirius gawked at his audacity. “I’ll be living on my own from here on out,” he sniffed. “I’m going to look at flats in Diagon Alley and possibly London.”

“With James?”

Sirius’ brows shot up faster than lightening.

_Surely, he doesn’t suspect something…_

“Maybe…we both plan to get jobs.”

“Oh…okay.”

“Is that all?”

“Yes…” Regulus replied stiffly, hesitating for a moment, as if he wanted to say more, but in the end, he turned away and stalked off, walking as he always did—like he had a perpetual broomstick shoved up his arse.

And Sirius was left standing there scratching his head.

_What the fuck?_

_What just happened?_

He assumed Regulus would be simply _delighted_ to have him gone for good…He’d _finally_ have _twelve Grimmauld Place_ all to his fucking self! He could dance down the bloody halls with his sadistic elf! Throw a damn party!

Sirius drug his fingers back through his hair at the visual, tugging so hard his eyes watered.

He’d just always assumed that Regulus wouldn’t give a _damn_ about where he was going or what he was doing with his life from here on out…That he viewed him just as their parents did—a stain on the family tree that must be removed at all costs...wiped from memory.

But maybe Regulus was just being nosy because their mother and father had put him up to it…because they wanted to keep tabs on him for their own, nefarious reasons…

And suddenly, Sirius wished he hadn’t given him any information at all…

_Bollocks._

  
***

~J~

James knew something was wrong as soon as he saw Sirius’ face. He walked into the Great Hall, clearly deep in thought, and nearly collided with Wispy Wilkie, who’d suddenly appeared right in front of him. They both jumped back in shock and then did a sort of awkward dance to hurry and get past one another.

And James just shook his head.

“Hey,” Sirius said, coming up to him, his hands shoved in his pockets and a deep V wedged between his brows.

“Hey,” James replied, wishing he could read his mind. “I think you nearly gave ole Wilkie a heart attack,” he whispered by his ear, hoping it would lighten his mood.

Sirius snorted and swiped his gorgeous hair back with elegant fingers, not having a damn clue how painfully beautiful he was, even wearing a scowl.

“Yeah, well he nearly gave _me_ one…”

James chuckled. “So did anything _interesting_ happen on the way down here?”

Sirius pursed his lips and cocked a black brow at him, his sapphire eyes too fucking penetrating to even look at.

James swallowed and shoved his hands deep in his pockets.

_Sweet Jesus._

“Yes, as a matter of fact, something _did_ ,” Sirius sniffed. “I ran into Regulus.”

James tensed slightly, already sensing that the encounter didn’t go well. Sirius within a hundred feet of _any_ of his family members was pretty much a recipe for disaster.

“And?”

“And he wanted to know if I was coming home for the summer.”

James scrunched his brows in confusion. “But I thought he already knew you weren’t?”

“Yeah, he did.”

“So then why would he bring it up again?”

“I dunno. He said he thought I might have left some things behind…and somehow I _doubt_ he was referring to all the Gryffindor crap I glued to my bedroom walls.”

James snickered and bumped against his side, remembering how much they’d practiced that particular _sticking charm_. Wormy, their ever-present guinea pig, had nearly been glued to the ceiling for an entire day whilst they experimented with it; a part of his trousers could still be found stuck above the sofa in their dorm room.

“Do you think he meant something in _particular_ or was he just being nice?”

Sirius sighed deeply, his entire body sagging, and suddenly James wanted to pull him into his arms and hold him close. Tell him that everything would work out fine and that he was so bloody relieved he’d never be going back home again…would never have to face the despicable treatment he’d endured for so many years…

But instead, he just gripped hold of his forearm and squeezed.

Sirius swallowed and looked away. “I didn’t leave anything behind of importance and I can’t imagine that he was just being _nice_ …”

“Well, maybe he’s trying to make amends…”

“Make amends my arse!” Sirius croaked, his entire body now bristling. “And if so, why now? And just… _why_?”

“I dunno…but you _are_ family. Maybe blood is thicker than water.”

Sirius shook his head. “I think all Regulus cares about is if it’s _pure_ or not…”

“Yeah, probably,” James sighed. “But at least you talked.”

“I just wish I knew what he wanted…” Sirius trailed off.

“Maybe he was just curious about where you’d go…”

“Or maybe he’s keeping tabs on me for my parents…”

“It’s time to begin!” McGonagall’s voice came, breaking the moment. “Everyone line up in front of your hoops…”

~~~

They practiced apparating for the next hour or so and thankfully Sirius’ mood improved considerably.

James loved the feeling of disappearing and appearing at will and couldn’t wait to try it out on even further distances. Popping into a golden hoop was starting to get old. And so far, he hadn’t experienced any negative results or splinched off any body parts and he felt confident that he would ace the final. Though Sirius did seem to be having a harder time with it and that worried him. Typically, Sirius was the first one to dive head-first into risky magic, throwing caution to the wind, but he seemed to harbor a great deal of anxiety over _splinching_ himself and James wished he could somehow put him at ease.

“Okay, now watch me,” Sirius said, standing in front of his hoop. He stared at it intently for several minutes, but nothing happened.

“I think you’re trying too hard,” James said. “Just relax…”

Sirius huffed and rolled his shoulders several times. “Relax…relax…”

“Just pretend there’s a nice big slice of apple strudel in that ring, and you’ve gotta get to it…” James said with a grin.

Sirius smiled mischievously. There was the sound of a small “pop”, and for a moment, he ceased to exist, and then just as quickly, appeared standing inside the hoop.

“You did it!” James gushed, rushing towards him, a second away from enveloping him in his arms, but then he stopped himself and held back.

Sirius grinned at him and then patted himself down. “Anything missing?”

“Hmm,” James noised, circling him slowly, staring him up and down, hoping that he could read his mind.

And to his delight, Sirius gulped and bit down on his bottom lip.

“Nope. You seem to be all there…” he purred.

“Good, I’d hate to lose any… _assets_.”

A thrill went up James’ spine and his eyes slid down to Sirius’ perfect arse, gloriously accentuated by his fitted black trousers, and held there, a devious smirk spreading up his face. “It’s _all_ there,” he breathed.

Sirius grinned and shook his head, his blue eyes sparkling.

_Goddamn…_

“Attention! Attention!” Professor McGonagall barked over the noise. “One week from today and you will have your final apparition exams! For the remainder of this class we will form lines and practice apparating from one side of the room to the other, and with _no_ hoop. Everyone line up against the wall. Hurry now!”

Excited chatter intermingled with nervous groans filled the air.

“Do you think you can do it?” Remus asked as he came up next to them, wringing his hands anxiously.

“Shouldn’t be too hard,” James said with a hint of smugness. “I’ll just pretend _Sirius_ is on the other side…”

Sirius smirked at him like the devil, his cheekbones flushing and his eyes shining, and then he darted his pink tongue out and licked his bottom lip.

And the gesture went straight to James’ dick.

_Dear god!_

He’d never apparated with a hard-on before, but he guessed there was a first time for everything...

  
***

~S~

Sirius flicked his eyes down to James’ crotch, his gaze holding there. He knew _exactly_ what he was feeling, because he was feeling the same thing, too.

Could they just hurry up and get this damn class over with?

It suddenly felt like _ages_ since they’d gone at it…and he _really_ needed that right now.

His brain wouldn’t stop circling the conversation he’d had with his brother, or the slew of painful memories being in his presence had unearthed.

James turned back and grinned at him. “Just relax,” he said slowly, his green eyes steady and sure.

Sirius nodded, staring fixedly at his mouth and feeling warm all over.

Having James’ full attention, _especially_ in a crowd, made him feel like he was simultaneously burning alive and yet melting from head to toe. Like he was the only one that existed…

Unfortunately, apparating didn’t make him feel that good.

“I’ll see you on the other side,” James said with a wink before disappearing completely.

_God…_

Sirius watched in awe as he appeared on the other side of the room; a few people even applauded, mostly girls, _of course._

Sirius crossed his arms and pursed his lips.

And when his turn came, he had to wipe his embarrassingly sweaty palms down the sides of his trousers. He took a deep breath and concentrated on a particular spot on the other side of the room, and then he closed his eyes and imagined being there. There was the usual ringing in his ears, the feeling of being squeezed through a tube, and the next thing he knew, he was across the room, staring back at the group of students he’d just come from. James immediately grabbed him by the wrist and spun him around, beaming down at him with pride.

And then he felt queasy.

No matter how many times he practiced apparating, his stomach never quite got the hang of it. But of course, James had _no_ problem with it; he made it look so damn easy, so effortless, just like everything else.

They continued apparating back and forth across the room and with each time, Sirius felt more and more nauseous, and he was just about to bow out when McGonagall ended the class.

“Oh thank _god_ ,” he wheezed, clutching onto his sides. His head was spinning, his insides were spinning… _Everything_ was fucking spinning…

And then he felt James, his steady, strong hand clutching onto his bicep and bringing the room back into focus.

“Thanks,” he breathed, closing his eyes for a moment and inhaling.

“Here,” James said, “eat this.”

He opened his eyes.

James was dangling a chocolate frog in his face.

“But those are _your_ favorite…”

“I brought it for _you_ ,” James smirked.

And Sirius’ heart swelled in his chest. _God_ he loved it when he did little things like that for him...James would never know how much he treasured them.

He smiled, going nearly cross-eyed, and took the frog from him. “Thanks for thinking of me.”

James just grinned and shoved his hands in his pockets, rocking back on his heels. “Oh, I’m _always_ thinking of you.”

Okay, now he was just _begging_ to be snogged into oblivion, and Sirius was about a second away from flinging his arms around his neck and shoving him up against the wall, going to town on that sweet, sweet mouth.

He felt his cheeks burn at the visual and stared down at the chocolate frog in his hand, starting to unwrap it.

“Ready to go, mates?” Remus asked.

“What, no hospital today?” James quipped.

Remus pursed his lips. “I purposely didn’t eat before class so I wouldn’t have any _issues_ …”

James snickered and shook his head, “C’mon,” he said, clutching Sirius by the bicep possessively and guiding him out of the room.

  
  
~~~

“ _Merlin_ , I can’t wait to get these bloody exams over with,” Remus groaned a few minutes later as they mounted another stone staircase, pausing for a moment and waiting for it to swing around and attach itself to another level.

Sirius clutched onto the railing, feeling his stomach lurch.

“Just two more weeks,” James said, nodding to a picture of an old weathered sailor who’d just saluted him.

“Thank _god_ Quidditch is over,” Remus sighed. “What a relief…But you know what I’ve been thinking? Don’t you think it’s odd that Slytherin never gave us hell for that win? Goyle hasn’t even tried to start a fight…”

“He seems preoccupied with _other_ things,” Sirius said, clutching his stomach and thinking of all the whispering Goyle seemed to be doing with his fellow Slytherins as of late. Something was definitely still up.

“Guess he’s probably too busy with his _secret little club_ ,” James said as they climbed through the portrait hole.

“What secret club?” Peter asked, jumping up from his chair by the fire.

“ _Nothing,_ Peter,” Sirius sighed, in no mood to deal with twenty questions.

Peter glared at him and pursed his lips. “So did anyone _splinch_ themselves?” he asked almost gleefully.

“Frank left his thumbnail on the other side of the room, but McGonagall put it back on again,” Remus replied, collapsing in a chair.

Peter, looking obviously disappointed, sat back down and picked up his magazine with a huff. “Nothing exciting ever happens,” he muttered.

Sirius shook his head and continued on up to their room; he could feel James hovering close behind him, practically breathing down his neck, and suddenly his stomach was doing flip-flops for entirely different reasons.

They silently walked inside the room and shut the door, and before he could even say anything, James was there, wrapping his big arms around him and pulling him into his warm chest. Sirius sighed and slipped his arms around his back, suddenly feeling like a rock was lodged in his throat.

“I’m sorry about the Regulus thing,” James whispered by his ear.

Sirius curled his fingers into the soft, thick fabric of his posh grey jumper, inhaling deeply, and _dear_ _god_ he smelled fucking good, like something sweet and masculine and highly addictive.

And how did James even know he was still upset about Regulus? _He_ didn’t even know for Merlin’s sake…not until this moment.

_Fuck._

He wanted to say he was _fine_ , but he couldn’t even pull the words up. He wanted to say it was _nothing_ , but he knew James wouldn’t believe that for a second…

“D’you wanna go to the Room?” James asked, his soft lips brushing against the tender skin of his neck, just below his ear.

“Yes,” Sirius breathed without a moment’s hesitation.

Because _of course_ he did.

_Desperately._

And then James was packing the Cloak and the Map inside his satchel and clasping onto his wrist, tugging him out the door.

  
***

~J~

As far as James knew, Lily and Snape weren’t using the Room that night, but he wasn’t absolutely _certain_. They’d all had very little contact with each other as of late and had literally been using the Knut-by-the-door method to let each other know when the Room was occupied. Which had definitely made for some rather frustrating moments after trudging all the way up there only to find the room unavailable. The seventh floor broom cupboard had seen quite a bit of action during those desperate times.

Tonight, they would just have to go up there anyway and hope for the best.

_Please let it be available…please, please, please..._

They were just walking down the stairs into the commons when he saw Lily entering the room.

“Hang on,” he said over his shoulder to Sirius, and then he made a b-line straight for her, gesturing for her to follow him to the corner. Remus and Peter were already watching them with shrewd, narrowed eyes.

“Hey,” he said.

“Hey,” she replied, furrowing her brows.

“So listen, I was wondering if we could have the Room for tonight…”

She shifted on her feet. “Oh…well Sev and I were going to use it, actually.”

His stomach twisted.

_Shit._

He glanced back at Sirius who was standing by the stairs, watching him hopefully.

_He needs this!_

“Erm…can’t you just _do_ the bat in a broom cupboard tonight?!” he blurted out, “I’m sure he’d feel right at home.”

Lily’s eyes went as round and blank as marbles.

“I mean…uh…sorry…but isn’t there _any other place_ you could take him? _Please_?” he begged, not the least bit ashamed of his desperation. Sirius needed to be fucked and nothing was gonna bloody stand in his way. It was that simple.

Lily ran her hand back through her hair, her eyes widening. “Yeah, I guess we could go someplace else…”

“Really?! Oh, _thank you!_ ” he said, nearly flinging his arms around her and hugging her.

He whipped around and grinned at Sirius. 

“See you blokes later,” he said to Remus and Peter, “we’ll be _studying.”_ And he didn’t even bother to wait for a response.

The Room was all _theirs_ , and that was all that bloody mattered!

  
***

~S~

“What did you say for her to let us have the Room?” Sirius asked, nearly getting whiplash from how quickly James was tugging him up the stairs.

“Just that we _really_ needed the place and that if she could _do_ the bat in a broom cupboard for tonight, we’d really appreciate it.”

Sirius snorted. “Are you serious?”

“Yep. And she seemed to be down with it.”

“Doing him in a broom cupboard or giving us the Room?”

“Both maybe,” James snickered.

Sirius just shook his head in disbelief.

Once they’d arrived on the seventh floor James paced in front of the tapestry so bloody fast it was as if he were moving in fast motion. The door appeared like always and he set a Knut by the baseboard, and then he was tugging Sirius inside with a fervor.

And Sirius was so relieved to see the bed, the couch, and the fire.

_Just as it should be._

And then, for some inexplicable reason, he suddenly felt very weary...as if he’d traveled a great distance and had nothing left, and not only that, but he also felt deeply _sad_.

And once again, James knew exactly what he needed. He pulled him into his strong arms and hugged him close; just the sweet, comforting smell of him enough to make everything right. “D’you wanna go to the bed?” James asked by his ear, sending shivers up and down his spine.

Sirius blinked and stared up at him, pressing his palms into his chest and feeling his heartbeat. He nodded. And then James was gripping him by the waist, about to pick him up, and Sirius clutched onto the tops of his shoulders and jumped up to straddle his hips.

This was good, too.

_Very good._

James clasped onto his arse; his large hands fully supporting him, and then he tilted his head back and stared up at him.

Sirius’ heart beat harder.

_Oh god..._

He leaned down and pressed their foreheads together, inhaling deeply and relishing the moment. He found his way to James’ lips, pressing into them and feeling everything catch fire. But it was a simmering, intoxicating sort of fire...a _slow_ _burn_ and that was exactly what he wanted.

James made a noise and squeezed his arse tighter and then they were moving towards the bed. And instead of flinging him down on the mattress and pouncing on top of him, like he knew James probably wanted to, he gently laid him down and slowly crawled over top him, his knees on either side of his hips.

“D’you want me to go slow?” James asked, reading his mind yet again, his eyes dark and glassy and his breathing already labored.

Sirius reached his hand up and cupped the side of his face, running his thumb along his cheekbone before dragging it down his hard jaw and over his wet bottom lip, the sensation going straight to his dick. James closed his eyes and shuddered, clearly feeling it, too. 

“Yes, please,” Sirius whispered, gripping onto his neck with both hands and pulling him down.

  
***

~J~

_I’ll go slow…I’ll go fast…I’ll go any fucking speed you want, baby…Just don’t take your hands off me._

James lowered himself down slowly.

And when he pressed against Sirius, their bodies fitting together so perfectly, so _familiarly_ , he thought he might cry.

Even fully clothed and fully coherent.

Every time they were together it felt just as new and just as exhilarating as it did the very first time...when they were ridiculously clumsy and scared-as-fucking-hell.

Except for one thing…

Now, they could say what they wanted…and _how_ they wanted it…

There was an underlying trust there that hadn’t been there before.

A _knowing_ based on experience.

Of what they needed, of what the other one needed. And they didn’t even have to use words. A look, a feeling, was all it took…And the longer they were together, the more subtle the signals could be. The connection was like nothing he’d ever experienced before, and it was only growing stronger with time.

Sirius wrapped his legs around his hips and locked his ankles, simultaneously entwining his fingers in his hair and ravishing his mouth, but all _slowly..._

_Oh god..._

So _slow_ that James thought he might literally combust in a puff of smoke...

But not in a _bad_ way.

Hard and fast and desperate was typically their MO...but this… _this_ was something else entirely.

_Another level._

He slid his hands up Sirius’ sides, underneath his undershirt, caressing his soft, bare skin with his fingertips, suddenly _desperate_ to feel that same skin pressed against every inch of his own, sliding underneath him and against him.

As if reading his mind, Sirius pulled back from his mouth, “Take it off,” he panted, his eyes closed and his hands tugging needily at his hair.

_Mother of god._

James pulled the jumper off him and then yanked off his own in a hurry. Why didn’t he know a spell to make clothes simply vanish? It would certainly come in handy right now. Except, of course, then he’d miss the pleasure of actually _undressing_ him. He clasped Sirius’ face between his hands, stroking his fingertips back through his silken hair, and stared in his eyes.

And Sirius stared back, literally peering into his fucking soul.

He felt entranced.

Is this what people meant by being _bewitched_?

Spellbound?

Because if so, Sirius Black was a witch of the _highest order_.

“Fuck,” he felt himself breathe, staring into those knowing, sapphire eyes. “You’re gorgeous.”

He felt Sirius suck in air and hold it, his eyes widening slightly before narrowing to a single point. “Kiss me,” he breathed, his red lips barely moving.

And James didn’t need to be told twice.

He claimed his mouth with abandon and hissed when their bare, heaving chests pressed together, the sensation of skin on skin sexier than hell.

Dear _god_ was there anything better than _this_?

Being with him…smelling him…touching him…tasting him…needing him and being needed by him...

He didn’t think so.

  
***

~S~

“Right there,” Sirius breathed as James slid into him. “Yes…yes… _god_ _yes_ …”

James hovered over his back, his breath coming out steady and forceful as he thrust into him, hard and yet gloriously _slow_.

Sirius shuddered and pressed his face into the mattress, his fingers curled into the sheets. He was rested on his elbows with his arse in the air as James knelt behind him, fucking him with precision.

And part of him wanted to make a daft joke about how they were doing it _doggy-style_ , and the other...just wanted to be put out of its misery.

Wrecked beyond repair.

“Harder,” he groaned, the words nearly getting caught in his throat as James thrust into him like an animal. “Fuck…yes…just like that…just like that… _oh god_...yes...”

And then James’ hand was clasping onto his dick and pumping it from root to tip, like he owned it…which he most definitely _did_ …along with his arse.

Frankly, James Potter could claim any fucking part of him that he wanted.

It was all up for grabs.

“ _Please_ ,” Sirius whined, clenching around James’ hot, thick cock, so close to the edge he was seeing stars. He scrunched his eyes shut and arched his back, thrusting his dick into James’ hand as James thrust into him.

Was it even possible to feel more pleasure?

He didn’t think so.

“ _Please_ , Prongs…harder…I need it _harder_... _give_ _it_ _to_ _me_.”

And that was all it took.

James groaned deeply over his shoulder and came like a tsunami, the sensation rocking his body, and then he was stiffening and releasing everything he had whilst James’ hand was still clasped around his dick, tugging forward hard and slow, milking every last drop.

_Holy fucking shit._

They both collapsed onto the soiled bed with satisfied grunts, immediately searching for each other’s arms.

They laid sideways, facing each other, stealing sloppy kisses between labored breaths. James gripped onto his bicep and swiped his warm tongue between the seam of his lips, licking his way inside and making his toes curl and his heart beat impossibly fast. He had nothing left and yet somehow, he always managed to find more for James.

James slid his hand up his neck and drug his fingers back through his hair, stroking it languidly, perfectly. “Was that good, baby?” he asked, nuzzling their noses together.

Sirius hummed, his eyes closed and his body sinking into the mattress as if he were in a full on, body-binding curse; gloriously paralyzed and yet utterly sated.

“Love, you don’t have to ask that after every time...It’s not necessary.”

“Well, I just wanna make sure…”

Sirius blinked his heavy eyelids open and stared at him, sliding his hand up the smooth dip in his waist and gripping onto his bare side. “If you’re _near_ me…breathing the same air as me...existing in the same world as me, then everything is _beyond_ fucking good…much more so if you’re _touching_ me, _kissing_ me, _wanting_ me,” he breathed, now cupping the side of his gorgeous face and bringing their mouths closer together, “…or _fucking_ me.”

He felt James’ breath hitch as if he were sucking in cold air, his dark eyes suddenly filling with hungry fire.

A beat passed.

And then they were crashing into each other like waves on the ocean, melding and fusing and passionately merging; a sea of burning lips and desperate hands and throbbing hearts.

And suddenly, he didn’t know where he began and James ended…

And he never bloody wanted to.

***

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 🌊⭐️🌊⭐️🌊⭐️🌊⭐️🌊


	53. I'll See You on the Other Side

***

~J~

_Surviving_ final exams was the sole focus of every stressed-out, cross-eyed, and brain-dead student at Hogwarts.

The end was _so_ bloody close.

_Eight days…just eight fucking days._

It was Saturday, and their Apparition final was to be held on Sunday and then the rest of the next week would be non-stop studying and exams.

And James was so damn ready to be done with it all and start his summer holiday that he could barely see straight.

 _Eight days_ until he was home again, _eight days_ until he could sleep with Sirius every night and fuck him any damn time he wanted…on the floor…in the shower…on the sofa…Well, of course there was still the issue of his _parents_ …but they could work around them for a few days, and then hopefully, they could get a place of their own, and everything would be _perfect_.

All he had to do was carry on.

“Did you get your Defense Against the Dark Arts book?” Sirius asked as they walked out onto the castle grounds and into the blinding sunshine, their satchels strapped over their chests.

James pulled the neck of his jumper out and fanned himself, suddenly feeling much too warm in his thick clothing, “Yeah, I got it.”

They made their way over to a vacant tree by the bank of the Black Lake.

And clearly, they weren’t the only ones opting to study _outside_. Groups of students dotted the grassy hills and lounged under the lush, shady trees, laughing and talking and generally doing anything _but_ studying. And if not for the stress of the looming exams, it would have actually felt like _summer_.

James unceremoniously dropped his satchel under the tree and sat down with a groan.

Sirius sat down next to him, stretching his legs out in front of him and crossing his ankles as he leaned back against the tree. “Mmm,” he hummed closing his eyes.

James turned and stared at him for a beat and then started to grin. “Babe, I thought we were supposed to be _studying_.”

“Just gotta close my eyes for a minute…” Sirius murmured.

James sighed and leaned back against the tree, their shoulders pressing together, and he took Sirius’ hand and laced their fingers together, grateful that no one was close enough to see them.

He gazed out at the dark, glassy waters of the lake just as the Giant Squid broke its smooth surface; it lazily raised one giant, fat, pink tentacle, as if waving to everybody and nobody, and then slowly disappeared.

James smiled to himself, suddenly remembering the first time he and Sirius had discovered the bizarre creature…It was around midnight and they’d been thirteen at the time and just daft enough to think they could actually put chocolate frogs on a fishing hook and catch a Merperson…boy had they been surprised when they caught the _Giant Squid_ instead…Though thankfully, the creature had turned out to be harmless, but they hadn’t known that at the time, and their blood curdling screams could probably be heard all the way to London and back.

He chuckled and closed his eyes.

The sun was so bloody _warm_ and his eyelids were so bloody _heavy_ , and he just couldn’t fight it anymore.

The lure of summer was irresistible.

  
***

~S~

Sirius stirred and blinked his eyes open.

He looked down to find his fingers entwined with James’.

He smiled serenely.

James was still asleep; the cool breeze ruffling his dark curls as the dappled sunlight brought out the copper in each strand.

And Sirius’ heart squeezed.

_God, he’s beautiful…_

He was tempted to lightly stroke his face and run his fingers back through his hair, but refrained, not wanting to wake him.

He looked up to the sky and squinted. The sun was now hanging over the far end of the lake, casting sparkles on its calm, inky-black waters.

Most of the students had already left.

_Must be late afternoon…_

How long had they been asleep?

He wondered if anyone had walked by and noticed their entwined hands.

“Babe?” James croaked, sounding disoriented and blinking his eyes open.

“I’m here,” Sirius said, turning to look at him and squeezing his hand.

They both just stared at each other for a long moment, smiling.

“Guess we should probably _study_ something,” James finally said in a raspy voice, sitting up and stretching.

“Right,” Sirius smirked. “How about Charms?”

“Sounds good.”

Sirius pulled his book bag between his open thighs and started rummaging through it. He pulled out his Charms book as well as the most recent edition of the Daily Prophet—every now and then, he’d borrow the paper from Remus who liked to stay up-to-date on wizarding news.

“Oh hey, let me see that,” James said, reaching out for the paper.

Sirius handed it to him and continued digging in his bag for a quill. “Anything interesting?” he asked.

“Mmm, cauldrons are half off at Brew More…the Quidditch World Cup is officially _sold out_ …and there’s been more unrest at the Ministry….”

“What kind of unrest?” Sirius asked, leaning back against the tree again.

“I need my glasses,” James huffed.

Sirius smiled and started rummaging in James’ bag for them. He pulled out the infamous black spectacles and handed them to him with a grin.

“Thanks,” James said with a devilish smirk as he slid them on.

“It says:

‘The one who calls himself _The Dark Lord_ and his followers known as the _Death Eaters_ , are continuing to push forward their agenda for a pure-blooded wizarding society. They have been caught on numerous occasions harassing Muggles and half-bloods alike, resorting to violence and crimes against the wizarding community. All congenial talks have ceased, and the Ministry of Magic is now officially taking a stand against anyone who is affiliated with the one who calls himself ‘The Dark Lord’ or his nefarious agenda…”

“Wow,” Sirius breathed. “How many times do they really need to say, _The one who calls himself The Dark Lord_...? Sounds mental to me.”

“Yeah, I know,” James chuckled. “And I just don’t get the whole pure-blooded supremacy thing anyway…I mean, who fucking cares? I’d still love you no matter _what_ your blood status was…”

Sirius looked up at him and smiled, feeling his heart grow warm and expand in his chest. “Same here…but not everyone sees it that way…My _family_ for starters.”

“True…” James said thoughtfully. “I reckon it’s really the _old wizarding families_ that are behind all of this…”

“Yeah, probably.”

“Well, it’s not like this _war on blood_ is anything new…” James sighed. “It’s been going on for _ages_ …but I guess it was just a matter of time before people really started taking sides…” He bit his lip, “Do you think _Regulus_ could be a part of any of this? I know you’ve said before that he’s always been super passionate and outspoken about keeping the blood _pure_.”

Sirius blinked, completely surprised by his question. “I dunno how he’d have the _time_ for it…what with school and Quidditch and all…but I guess he could be,” he sighed. “And you know, back in the day, he used to praise this completely mental chap for his pure-blooded agenda, even collected some pamphlets from him...Of course, my mother was all encouraging. She’s always been about the _blood_ ,” he said grimly, staring off into the distance as a multitude of unsavory memories flooded his brain.

“So d’you think your entire family could be… _Death Eaters,_ or whatever they’re called? Followers of this movement?”

“Maybe,” Sirius said, closing his eyes, not really wanting to think about it. “Though, they’re so full of themselves I’d have a hard time seeing them as _followers_ of anything, much less bow down to anyone who has the gall to refer to themselves as _The Dark Lord…_ But you never know. They certainly have the _funds_ to help back some kind of movement if they wanted to.”

“Yeah,” James said, entwining their fingers together again. “Well, it’s a good thing you’re not going back home then…I doubt it would be safe.”

“Is any place really safe from _prejudice_?” Sirius asked, glancing up at him, referring to much more than just _blood status._

James was silent for a moment.

“I guess not…but if there were a place, I’d think it’d be Hogwarts. It’s like a protected paradise…or _prison_ …” he said with a chuckle. “Nothing gets in and nothing gets out…and we rarely ever hear about what’s going on out _there_ …”

“But that’s not _reality_ ,” Sirius sighed.

“True…”

“Well, it’s a good thing we at least know how to apparate now,” Sirius murmured, resting his head atop James’ broad, wonderfully warm shoulder. “Might need to get away from _Death Eaters_ someday…” he said with a yawn, his whole body instantly relaxing.

“Hey, don’t go falling asleep on me again,” James snipped, prodding him in the side. “Charms, remember?”

“Oh, right,” Sirius said, sitting up again and blinking. “ _Charms_.”

  
***

~S~

The time had finally come for their Apparition final.

And Sirius felt ten times more nervous than he did during the first bloody Quidditch match of the season.

He and James and Remus all stood huddled together in the Great Hall, waiting anxiously for their turn to be called. The final consisted of each student entering a room with Professor Flitwick and then apparating to a designated room inside the Three Broomsticks where Professor McGonagall and Wilkie Twycross would be waiting to examine them.

And Sirius was so afraid of leaving behind a fingernail that he’d systematically bitten all of his off, figuring it’d be better to destroy the evidence before it actually became _evidence_.

“ _Stop_ doing that, babe,” James hissed by his ear.

“I can’t help it!” he hissed back, his blue eyes flashing as he gnawed at his finger.

“You’re gonna do perfect, stop worrying…”

“Says the one who’s a _natural_ …” Sirius snipped.

“Remus Lupin,” Professor Flitwick called from the doorway.

Remus’ face went as pale and lifeless as the full moon. He turned and shot them a panicked look, his amber eyes going wide.

“You can do this, mate!” James said, whacking him on the shoulder.

“Yeah!” Sirius said chiming in, though not sounding very convincing.

“Thanks,” Remus croaked out before walking away.

“He’s gotta pass this test,” James said quietly.

“Well of course he does. We _all_ do.”

“ _No_ , I mean because he needs to be able to apparate someplace safe when the _time_ comes.”

“Oh, true. I guess he could just apparate to the Shrieking Shack if he needed to…”

“Exactly.”

“Whereas you and I can apparate into each other’s _beds_ ,” Sirius said with a snicker.

James grinned. “Damn right. Though not at Hogwarts…thanks to the block against apparating on school grounds…but at _home,_ we definitely can…”

Sirius leaned into him, “Though, I don’t suspect we’ll ever sleep in separate beds again…” he whispered.

“James Potter!” Flitwick called, holding up a long scroll of paper in his tiny hands.

“Here I go…” James said, standing taller and raking his hair back.

“You can do it, love. You’re a natural…”

“And so are you, so stop _doubting_ yourself,” James said, turning towards him. “Just remember, I’ll be waiting for you on the other side.” He stared at him intensely. “And I want _all_ of you… _fingernails_ and all…”

Sirius’ mouth fell open slightly as he stared up at him, his heart hammering against his chest.

“Okay,” he breathed. “I’ll see you on the other side.”

James nodded once and then turned and walked away, disappearing beyond the door.

And Sirius took a deep breath and closed his eyes.

He just needed to keep his focus on James. James would be waiting for him on the other side…he had to get to James… _all of him_ had to get to James…

He felt he’d only just closed his eyes for a second when he heard Flitwick calling his name. He gulped and strode forward, feeling the stares of everyone still left behind burning into his back. He walked into the room and Flitwick shut the door with a click.

“Alright, Sirius Black, stand in the golden hoop and apparate to the corresponding hoop in the Three Broomsticks,” Flitwick squeaked.

And Sirius was so thankful that during a previous lesson the students were shown this particular room in which they would be apparating to, because it was much easier, and much more _common_ , to apparate to a place you’d already been before.

He nodded and went and stood in the hoop, trying to control his breathing and concentrate like he’d been taught. He pictured the other hoop in his mind’s eye, but he kept seeing James’ face, too, so he decided to imagine James waiting for him inside the hoop, and then he would appear right beside him.

 _All of me…beside him…all of me…beside him…_ he kept chanting in his mind.

There was the usual ringing in his ears, the feeling of being squeezed through a tube, and the unmistakable pull from behind his naval…

And then the sound of distant voices.

“Mr. Black, you’re here…you can open your eyes now…” It was the voice of Professor McGonagall, prodding him with her long, bony finger.

Sirius blinked his eyes open and looked around in amazement.

He was in the room in the Three Broomsticks. He looked down and saw he was inside the hoop, and then he immediately started patting his body down, trying to make certain that he was all there.

Wilkie Twycross walked (or more like _floated)_ around him, examining his body, and Sirius gulped, shocked he was standing so near him. The man’s fitted, iridescent pastel blue suit was nearly the same color of his translucent skin.

Twycross then backed away silently and gave a small nod to the Professor.

“You passed,” McGonagall said flatly before picking up a rectangular piece of parchment framed in gold detailing. She handed it to Wilkie, who, with an elegant flourish of his milky-white wand, signed his name in a gold, loopy script on the bottom of the paper. “Here is your certificate,” he said softly, holding it out to him. “You may go and join your friends now.” His words sounded mechanical and his smile may have crinkled the skin around his luminous, silver-blue eyes, but it all felt hollow. And for a moment, Sirius desperately wanted to ask him why he’d always acted so peculiar around him…This would probably be the last time they’d ever see each other again.

But then McGonagall was clearing her throat impatiently and ushering him out of the room.

Sirius blinked rapidly and stared down at the certificate in his hands in disbelief, and before he was even half-way out the door, he was pounced on by James, who yanked him forward and completely enveloped him in his arms.

He could also feel Remus, patting him on the back and congratulating him as well.

“You did it!” James said proudly, pulling back, his gorgeous face positively beaming.

“I did it!” Sirius rasped out, a huge, incredulous grin now sliding up his face.

“We _all_ did!” Remus said excitedly.

“Let’s celebrate!” James said, dragging him forward and pulling him towards an empty table, the rest of the room abuzz with other giddy, successful students. 

_I did it…I really did it…holy shit._

“Here, drink this,” James said, setting down a frothy mug of Butterbeer right in front of him, some of it slopping over the sides as he did. “It’ll help with the queasiness…”

Sirius took the mug and gulped it down, feeling much less dizzy once the cool, buttery liquid hit his stomach. He leaned back in his chair and took a deep breath, trying to process everything.

“Now, let me see your hands,” James said sternly.

Confused, Sirius set them on the table, and then James carefully took each finger and meticulously inspected his nails one by one. “Well, it looks like you _did_ make it with all your fingernails intact,” he said with a sly grin. “Or at least what’s _left_ of them…”

“Ha-bloody-ha,” Sirius said, snatching his hands away.

Remus snickered and took a sip of his drink and James just grinned like a bloody tosser.

“I’m not sure Wormtail would be able to apparate his nails, much less his _entire body_ ,” Remus said with a laugh.

“Very true,” James snorted.

“Well, maybe if there was a _wheel of cheese_ waiting for him on the other side...” Sirius chuckled before taking another gulp of his drink.

They all laughed.

~~~

Peter greeted them as soon as they entered the Gryffindor common room. “Well? Did you pass? Did anyone get _spliced_?”

“Yes, Peter, we all passed with flying colors…” James said exasperatedly. “And it’s ‘splinched’ not _spliced_ …and no, no one splinched themselves.”

Peter huffed in annoyance, putting his hands on his hips. “Well, I don’t see what the big deal about apparating is anyways…Who needs it? That’s what we have bloody _trains_ for…” he muttered bitterly.

They all just looked at each other and rolled their eyes.

And then Sirius looked down at the certificate in his hand and smiled, his heart beating faster.

He wasn’t sure if he’d ever felt prouder of himself…facing a fear and coming out on top.

He may not have had a doting family to celebrate his victory, but he had James, and he had Moony, and that was all that really mattered.

  
***

~J~

It was official.

Final exams were over and only twenty-four hours stood between every student at Hogwarts and summer.

Soon they’d be on that _bloody train_ , barreling towards London.

Soon they’d be _free_.

And James couldn’t have felt more relieved.

“Well, how do you think you did?” Sirius asked as they sat down for the end of term feast in the Great Hall.

“I think I did alright…Though, I wasn’t completely able to confuse Professor Flitwick with that Confundus charm; it wasn’t my strongest,” he said, resting his head in his hands tiredly.

“I’m sure you did brilliantly,” Sirius said, squeezing his thigh under the table.

He perked up.

“How do you think you did on Transfiguration?” he asked, turning towards him.

“Erm…well I _was_ able to turn the tortoise into a typewriter…but it had about half as many keys as it should have…and…it had _feet_ …”

James barked out a laugh, his shoulders shaking. “Feet?”

“Yep,” Sirius said, his cheeks flushing pink. He licked his lips and raked his hair back. “But I’m just glad the final didn’t involve _snails_ ,” he half-growled.

James smirked, feeling a rush of heat go straight to his dick, and not because of _snails_ , but because of how goddamn _irresistible_ Sirius looked as he growled about them.

_Jesus._

“I know that look.”

“Hmm?” James noised.

“Horny much?” Sirius whispered.

“Always.”

Sirius swiped his raven hair back again, his fingers raking through it and pulling it over to the side.

_Stop doing that!_

James’ heart was pounding and his dick was throbbing and he needed to get him alone and STAT.

“You know what I was thinking?” Sirius asked, leaning towards him.

“Hmm?”

“About that night in the forest…and about what Lily said about Snape. What if it’s more than just _a_ _little gang_? What if it’s genuine recruitment by this _Dark Lord_ chap.”

_Wait. What?_

“What the fuck are you talking about?”

Only _Sirius_ could jump from the promise of doing something _dirty_ to his random thoughts about the _war on blood_.

_Christ._

Sirius snickered and then cocked his head back towards the Slytherin table. “I’m _talking_ about whatever’s going on with _them_ …and how it could possibly have a connection with what we read about in the Daily Prophet.”

“How do you figure that?”

“It’s just something I thought of…Like remember how in History of Magic we learned about that bloke from four-hundred years ago, _Elfric the Eager_ , that infiltrated that wizarding school and recruited all the students to start a crusade for square-bottomed cauldrons?”

James suddenly had a flashback to the agonizing years they’d been subjected to Professor Binns’ insufferable class; the ghost-teacher’s wheezy, droning voice managing to put him to sleep during every single lesson. He certainly had no recollection of this particular story, much less _anything_ else they’d been taught, and he was completely baffled that Sirius actually _did_.

“You mean you think this _Dark Lord_ is recruiting at Hogwarts? he asked. “Seems unlikely. Why would he want a bunch of teenagers?”

“Well, if he’s _desperate_ …or maybe more clever than we take him for…” Sirius trailed off.

“What do you mean?”

“Like maybe he’s bypassing the Ministry entirely and going straight for the _kids_ …They’d be harder to keep tabs on because they’re _here_ for one thing, and no one would suspect them. It’s their _parents_ that are being watched by the Ministry.”

“You think Crabbe and Goyle’s parents are Death Eaters?”

“I’d bet money on it,” Sirius said, glancing back at their table. “They’ve all but said it…always bragging about their connections…their _pure blood_ …and how chummy they are with powerful people. What if The Dark Lord skipped the parents and went right for their kids instead?”

“It’s an interesting theory, I’ll give you that…but it just seems a little farfetched,” James shrugged. “Crabbe and Goyle aren’t exactly the _sharpest_ tools in the shed. I’m not sure I’d want them on _my_ team.”

“Yeah, but they have access to something that no one on the outside does…”

“Like what?”

“Like Hogwarts…and Dumbledore…”

James’ heart beat faster; he glanced back at the Slytherin table, furrowing his brows.

_Maybe..._

“Why so _serious_?” Remus asked, sitting down at the table and breaking the silence.

Sirius jolted. “Oh, erm, just discussing some theories…”

“Yeah? What kinds of theories?” he asked, picking up a pitcher of pumpkin juice.

“Yeah, what _kinds_ of theories?” Peter repeated as he sat down across from James.

James shot Sirius a look that said to keep his mouth shut. They hadn’t shared _any_ of their theories with Peter thus far and planned to keep it that way. He just wasn’t trustworthy.

Taking the cue, Sirius swallowed and nodded. “Well, we were just wondering if Snivellus was still a virgin or not.”

Remus sputtered, spilling juice all over the table. “What?!”

“Yeah!” James chimed in. “We were just _curious_ …”

“Why?” Peter asked, “Do you fancy _him_ now, too?”

James bristled and turned to stare at him, his jaw clenched. “Excuse me, Wormy?”

Peter merely rolled his eyes and shoved a forkful of pie in his mouth, chewing testily as he stared across the room.

“I think I’ve lost my appetite,” Remus said, now looking peaky. He flicked his eyes down to Lily at the end of the table and grimaced.

“ _God_ , we need to get you laid, Moony,” Sirius said shaking his head.

“I do _alright_ , thank you very much!” Remus snipped.

“Yeah, so says your _right hand,_ ” James muttered.

A beat passed and then he and Sirius were laughing their arses off whilst Remus just shook his head in disdain.

And not surprisingly, Peter looked utterly confused.

***

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 🤔🐀🤔🐀🤔🐀🤔  
> 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂


	54. The Best is Yet to Come

***

~J~

“How’s it that we’re already _leaving_ again?” Sirius asked as he roughly tossed a school book in his partially full trunk.

“This term just flew by,” James said, shaking his head as he took an armful of socks out of his dresser drawer and unceremoniously dumped them in his trunk. What was the point of packing it nicely anyway when he was just gonna dump out the contents as soon as he got home?

“One more year left, mates! One more year…” Remus said thoughtfully as he neatly folded his clothes on his bed.

“Well I’m _glad_ it’s over,” Peter grumbled, snapping his trunk shut. “I’ll be glad to get home and see my _real_ friends…”

“What _real_ friends?” Sirius asked sarcastically.

“I have _other_ friends besides you lot,” Peter quipped. “And they appreciate me, they _include_ me…”

“Oh, Peter, come off it. Things are _different_ now… _We’re_ different,” Sirius said, looking at James for a beat. “Things change…we grow up.”

James stared him up and down, feeling his face grow hot.

_Yes, we certainly do…_

“Well, I don’t _want_ change…and I don’t like _different_ ,” Peter said bitterly. “Maybe I’ll join _another_ club…” he huffed before leaving the room, clearly still bitter about being left out of their Apparition “group” and god-knows-what-else. It was always _something_ with Wormy. His infantile behavior was becoming more obvious and less tolerable as time wore on.

“Suit yourself,” Sirius said, shaking his head exasperatedly.

“What’s his deal?” Remus asked.

“He needs to get laid. We’ve discussed this,” Sirius said matter-of-factly. “Same as you, Moony.”

Remus’ mouth fell open and then he chucked a roll of socks right at Sirius, promptly hitting him upside the head. The socks bounced off him and onto the floor and Remus barked out a surprised laugh, but then quickly ran for cover as Sirius turned slowly towards him, a wicked glint in his blue eyes.

And James couldn’t help but laugh.

Remus yelped and backed away as Sirius stalked towards him, like a wolf hunting its prey.

“Okay, truce! _Truce_!” Remus yelped between laughs as he grabbed his broomstick and held it up in front of himself for defense. But Sirius lunged for him anyway and knocked him to the bed, tickling his sides whilst trying to pin him down.

And James was clutching his stomach, laughing his head off at their ridiculousness, and then suddenly, he wasn’t.

_Okay, nope._

_Don’t like that._

_Not at all._

Sirius _touching_ another lad, tickling him on a _bed_ , holding him down, even if it _was_ just Moony, was not something he was down for.

He promptly went over and grabbed Sirius from behind and threw him over his shoulder.

“Oi! What’re you doing you—” Sirius protested, thrashing in his arms.

And then James dumped him unceremoniously on his own bed, smirking like the devil.

_Problem solved._

“Thanks for saving me, Prongs!” Remus panted, his face red as he clutched a hand to his heart, clearly oblivious to the _real_ reasons he’d broken up their little wrestling match. 

And Sirius just leaned back on his elbows like some kind of lothario and grinned up at him, clearly knowing _exactly_ what was going on.

“Sure, anytime, Moony,” James muttered whilst staring pointedly at Sirius, who’s shirt was pulled up his stomach, revealing the smooth, tempting skin of his sculpted lower abs, and _dear god_ that irresistible little trail of dark hair, disappearing just beyond the waistband of his jeans...

James gulped, his brain suddenly short-circuiting. 

He knew _exactly_ what that little trail of hair felt like under his tongue…and the sounds Sirius made when he kissed him there.

_Oh my god._

He closed his eyes for a beat and inhaled.

“Okay, we need to finish packing and head down for breakfast,” he said, his voice coming out raspy. “We don’t wanna almost _miss_ the train like _last time_ …” He narrowed his eyes at Sirius, yet again, trying _not_ to gawk at his exposed lower belly, or the way his muscular thighs were flexed in his jeans, _or_ the sexy curve of his mouth…

_Shit._

“Hey, it wasn’t _my_ fault!” Sirius barked, his abs clenching.

“Well, if I remember correctly, it was your _bird_ that was being uncooperative.”

_Do not look at his stomach…do not look at his stomach…_

_Bloody hell._

Sirius rolled his eyes dramatically and huffed, opening his thighs a bit wider, clearly knowing _exactly_ what he was doing.

_That little shit._

“And we definitely don’t want to have to share another carriage ride with _Snivellus_ again…” Remus muttered, now meticulously fixing his hair in the mirror.

“Yeah, I wouldn’t suspect he’d wanna share one with _you_ either…” James snickered, looking up at him. “What with you always making a play for his _girl_ …”

“Hey! I do not! We’re just _friends_ ,” Remus hissed, whipping around.

“Much to your _disappointment_ ,” Sirius drawled, lobbing a roll of socks at him and hitting him square in the chest.

“Ha-bloody-ha…very _funny_ ,” Remus said, his ears turning the same shade of maroon as his jumper.

  
***

~J~

After packing their trunks they headed down to the Great Hall for one last meal. The tables were piled high with goblets of fruit, trays of waffles, platters of sticky buns...and the smell was simply _divine_.

The flags hanging over the House tables still bore the crimson and gold crest of Gryffindor, the winners of that year’s House Cup. McGonagall had been so excited the previous night when it was announced, that she’d snatched the trophy right out of Dumbledore’s unsuspecting, bony hands, and practically danced a jig on the stage. Gryffindor had _finally_ re-claimed their House victory after several years of bitter disappointment.

James sighed as he sat down at the table, glancing sideways at Sirius and smiling. “Well, I don’t suppose we’ll get anything as good as this back home…”

“But your parents run a _bakery_ ,” Remus snickered, scooping some fruit out of a goblet and onto his plate.

“True, but it’s still not the same…I think the house elves do something _special_ to the food here.”

“Yeah, like a dollop of ambrosia or something,” Sirius said, spearing his stack of butter-smothered and syrup-drenched waffles.

James grinned.

“So did you two ever settle on any summer plans for work or a place to live?” Remus asked, dabbing his mouth with a napkin.

“Well, first we’re gonna go to my place…rest a bit…,” James said, trying not to grin like an idiot as a million different steamy visuals flashed before his eyes. “And then we’re going straight to London to look for places to live and jobs…”

“So you’re really gonna get your own flat?” Remus asked with wide eyes.

“Well, we’re gonna _try_ ,” James squirmed. “Just for the summer…”

Remus frowned slightly. “Oh that reminds me—I talked to Dumbledore!” he said, instantly lighting up. “He’s writing me a recommendation for that internship at the Ministry!”

“Really?” Sirius asked, licking butter and syrup off his lips.

“Yes! If I get the position, I’ll start in a few weeks. I’m not sure who the other candidates are, but the Ministry will only be taking on _two_.”

“Wow,” James breathed, shooting a worried glance at Sirius. “And what about… _you know what_ …How will you deal with it?”

“Well, now that I can apparate, I plan to go to mum and dad’s basement when the time comes…”

“And let them feed you Pumpkin Pasties through a _crack in the door_?” Sirius said with horror.

“Well, what choice do I have?” Remus asked, his face falling. “I’m not sure I’ve had enough practice to apparate all the way to the Shrieking Shack from London…And I’d rather not be alone.”

“I dunno,” James said determinedly, swallowing down his food, “but I think we can figure out a better plan than _that_ …” 

Remus lit up and grinned. “Really?”

“Of course,” he said. “We’re not gonna let you be _that_ miserable…or alone.”

Remus beamed.

“Oh and I guess working in a _cheese shop_ all summer with your parents doesn’t warrant _saving_?” Peter asked bitterly, finally joining the conversation.

“Peter, you _love_ cheese… _and_ working in that bloody shop…why would you need saving?” Sirius asked incredulously.

Peter just rolled his eyes. “So the three of you will just be _living it up_ in London together all summer and I’ll be on my own?”

“Looks that way…” James said with a smirk.

“Fine…we’ll see who comes out on top…” Peter muttered darkly.

“What was that, Wormy?” Remus asked, cocking a brow.

“Nothing,” Peter huffed, biting a blueberry scone in half.

~~~

After breakfast, James and Sirius collected their owls and then shared an uneventful carriage ride to the train station with Remus and Peter, which was thankfully, sans _Snape_. They found their usual train compartment and settled down on the bench seats, already fatigued from the busy morning, and it wasn’t long before they were both nodding off.

“Something from the trolley, dears?” the familiar old witch’s voice came as she pushed her cart in front of their compartment.

James’ eyes flew open and he immediately started rummaging in his pockets for some coins. He stood up and bought some tomato and cucumber sandwiches, several bags of licorice, a handful of Pumpkin Pasties, and four bottles of pumpkin juice.

He handed a bottle and sandwich to Peter, who took them ungratefully with nothing but a curt nod.

_Merlin, he’s really being an arse._

He huffed and sat back down next to Sirius who was still asleep. He watched him for a while, mesmerized. The sunlight streaming in through the window was casting dazzling patterns on his face. He didn’t look real.

As if feeling he was being watched, Sirius’ long black lashes fluttered a few times and then he opened his eyes, staring back at him and taking his breath away. “Hi”, he mouthed.

A thrill went up James’ spine. “Hi” he mouthed back. “Hungry?”

“Always,” Sirius breathed.

James gulped and blinked several times, feeling his face heat considerably.

“Erm, I got you a sandwich,” he said lamely.

Sirius smirked, his blue eyes penetrating. “I like those, too.”

_Merlin._

Was it just him or was the room getting hotter? Like a bloody furnace.

James handed him a sandwich and paused slightly when their fingers grazed, a jolt of heat shooting straight to his cock, and if they’d been alone, he would have tossed the damn sandwich and attacked him like an animal.

“Oh, lunch! Brilliant!” Remus said, sliding the door open to their compartment.

  
***

~S~

“So how was the Prefect meeting?” Sirius asked, unwrapping the sandwich in his lap, secretly _thrilled_ as always that James had taken care of him.

“It was alright,” Remus replied, turning visibly red as he sat down next to Peter.

“Must have been better than _alright_ …” James quipped before shoving an entire sandwich in his mouth.

Sirius just stared at him.

_God, that mouth._

“Well…Lily and me…Lily and _I_ …discussed who we thought might get Head Boy and Head Girl for next year…She thinks I’ll get it,” he said, now turning positively scarlet.

“She might be right,” Sirius smirked.

“I doubt it…I mean what about Frank? Or even _you_ , James?”

“Me?!” James said incredulously.

“Yeah, why not? You’re Quidditch captain, popular with all the…ahem…well, _everyone_ loves you.”

Sirius pursed his lips and quit chewing his sandwich for a moment.

“Yeah, but you’ve got the _brains_ , Moony. Everyone knows that…Not to mention you’re a _Prefect_ …”

Remus took a small bite of his sandwich, an embarrassed grin creeping up his face. “Yeah, maybe…But I bet Lily will get Head Girl though…there’s no one in our House that can even come _close_ to comparing to her. She’s got it all…”

Sirius flicked his eyes to James, narrowing his gaze, suddenly envisioning him and Lily being crowned _King and Queen_ of Hogwarts, because that’s essentially what the Head Boy and Head Girl _were_ …attractive (typically), talented, and over-achieving students that everyone esteemed… 

_Oh hell no._

_Absolutely not._

_Nope._

He did _not_ like the image now being burned into his brain.

Fucking detested it.

James caught him staring and mouthed, “What?” with furrowed brows.

“Nothing,” he mouthed back before taking a long, and very _irritated_ , swig of his pumpkin juice, wishing he could wash the unsavory concept from his brain.

“Well, we won’t know who gets it for a few weeks anyway,” Remus said. “Not until after we’ve gotten our final exam results…”

And Sirius prayed to Merlin that Moony would have all the _luck_ on his side...

_May the werewolf be victorious._

_Amen._

***

~S~

It seemed like only a blink before the train was slowing down and the sound of a sharp whistle was cutting through the silence.

Sirius rubbed his eyes.

He couldn’t believe he’d slept through nearly the entire train ride…And he’d had such _ambitious_ visions of going down on James in the loo…maybe even doing more than that…

_Oh well..._

He nudged James’ knee, gently waking him.

James blinked his eyes open slowly and smiled sleepily.

_Dear god…that face._

James’ _sleepy_ face always did things to him, probably more than it should. But it represented a million different mornings over the past six years of having to watch him wake and desperately wanting him, yet not having him.

Thank _god_ those miserable days were over.

“Can’t believe it’s really summer,” Remus sighed as he stood up and started reaching for his things off the top shelf.

“I’ll help you, mate,” James said, getting up. He pulled down their owls and sat them on the floor. “We’ll be in contact,” he said, smiling and holding out his arm. Remus gave him a quick hug and a pat on the back and then turned to Sirius and did the same.

“Brilliant! We can get together in Diagon Alley,” Remus said. “And if I get the internship, hopefully we can see each other all the time!”

“Right on, mate!” Sirius grinned, genuinely hoping they could all hang out together. They typically never saw each other over the summers because they lived too far apart. But _apparating_ would change everything.

“And Peter, you’re welcome to join us at any time,” Remus said in a more formal tone. “Just send an owl.”

Peter stood up with a huff and clutched onto his pet rat Nibbler who’d been sleeping on his lap for the entire train ride. “We’ll see,” he said glumly, before stalking out of the compartment without so much as a goodbye.

“Well, have a good summer,” Remus faded off as he watched him go, a bewildered look crossing his face. “I really thought he’d be okay by now…It’s not like we _purposely_ excluded him from learning how to apparate. He _chose_ not to.”

“I know, mate,” James said. “But maybe he just needs to find his own place...and maybe it’s not with _us_ anymore…”

“Yeah, maybe,” Remus said sadly. “Well, anyhow, just send me an owl when you want to get together.” 

“Will do,” James said.

And then Remus smiled and left the compartment.

They were _finally_ alone.

Sirius smirked wolfishly. “Well, here we are again…” 

“Yeah, here we are again,” James repeated slowly, his eyes darting down to his lips.

“Did you get the brooms?”

“Hmm?”

“The brooms?”

“Oh, right,” James said, reaching up and grabbing them off the shelf.

And Sirius watched with hungry eyes as James’ swollen biceps flexed beneath his plaid shirt and his neck muscles strained from the effort.

Why was everything James Potter did so bloody _hot_?

He should come with a warning label: _Exposure may cause extreme burns. Possible incineration._

“I can’t wait to tell mum and dad how _fast_ this broom is—“ James started to say.

Sirius licked his lips and stared up at him, suddenly not sure he had the _willpower_ to refrain from attacking him. It had been too bloody long.

“I mean…uh…they’ll be chuffed to know…it was worth the _price_ …” James trailed off, staring down at him.

The energy crackled between them.

_Oh, fuck it._

Sirius reached out and clutched the hem of his shirt, roughly tugging him forward and crashing their hips together. James made a startled noise and gripped onto his biceps for support, letting the brooms fall against the seat with a clatter.

“I wanna _kiss_ you,” Sirius said, immediately surprised by the blatant _whine_ in his voice. But what did he expect? It’d been ages since he’d pressed into those perfect lips.

“And I _want_ you to,” James breathed, his green eyes clouding with unmistakable lust.

Sirius slid his hands inside his button-down shirt and gripped onto his warm, familiar sides, just one second away from pressing up on his toes and claiming that mouth.

“Oh!” a startled voice came from the doorway.

They both jumped apart.

It was Regulus.

Of _all_ bloody people.

_You’ve gotta be kidding me._

“Yes?” Sirius snipped, trying to control his breathing and act like he wasn’t just caught groping his platonic, _best mate._

“I um…I just wanted to…to say _goodbye_ ,” Regulus said, furrowing his black brows.

“Oh,” Sirius replied. “Well, _bye_ ,” he said, the words coming out more like a question.

And then Regulus darted his inscrutable grey eyes to James and held there for a long, uncomfortable beat, as if sizing him up, and then he stared back at Sirius. “Goodbye,” he finally said, before rushing out of sight.

And they both just stood there.

“Blimey,” James breathed. “What was _that_ about?”

“I dunno…” Sirius replied, completely dumbfounded. “First, him asking me about the summer…and now _this_. I just don’t get it. Does he wanna be like _friends_ now or what?”

“It’s definitely strange…” James said, shaking his head. “But I guess we’d better go. Don’t wanna keep the _parents_ waiting.”

“Right,” Sirius said, biting his lip, his mind racing.

_What in the world?_

Had his brother really sought him out and spoken to him _twice_ in one term?

_Must be a new Black family record..._

He and James grabbed their owls and brooms and no sooner were they off the train than they were enveloped in the waiting arms of Mr. and Mrs. Potter.

  
***

~J~

“Oh, honey we have _wonderful_ news!” James’ mum said after they’d all climbed into the car.

“What is it?” he asked, thinking that they’d probably added a new item to the bakery menu or had _finally_ gotten rid of all the pesky gnomes from the front garden.

“Your father got the patent for his new invention!”

“Oh, that’s brilliant, pop!” he exclaimed. “For which one?”

“His hair cream!” his mother gushed.

James’ heart stopped.

_Wait. What?_

And then Sirius snorted, _loudly_.

James turned and stared at him with wide, shocked eyes and then they both burst out laughing at the exact same moment, throwing their heads back and slapping their knees as they did.

_The fucking hair cream…oh my god._

“Are you alright, dears?” Euphemia asked, turning back to look at them.

James wiped the tears from under his eyes and tried to catch his breath.

_Oh, mum…if you only knew._

“Yeah, we’re fine, it was just an inside joke,” he wheezed. “But anyway, that’s amazing!”

“Yes, amazing!” Sirius chimed in, his face red and his eyes shining. “Congratulations!”

Fleamont beamed and shoved his glasses up the bridge of his nose. “I’m quite chuffed about it myself! Who knows, you might see my invention in every wizarding catalogue in the nation!”

James grimaced slightly at the visual.

_As long as it comes with a warning label not to put it on your dick…_

“And I’m thinking of putting your face on the container, James!”

“Huh?” he noised.

“Well, more of an abstract representation of your _hair_ ,” Fleamont said thoughtfully.

_What?!_

And yet again, James slowly turned and looked at Sirius, not sure if this was _real life_ or some sort of cosmic joke.

Sirius’ face turned positively crimson and contorted beyond recognition as he clearly tried to hold back his laughter.

_Wow. Just wow._

_This is my life._

And it was all they could _both_ do not to cackle like a bunch of drunk banshees the entire car ride home.

  
***

~S~

The house was just as Sirius had remembered it, except instead of being covered in a blanket of snow, everything was covered in a blanket of _green_. The front of the house was dotted with brightly colored potted plants, well-trimmed shrubs, and a lush green lawn. The Potter’s always kept their large, two-story home tidy and comfortable. It wasn’t overly-flashy and one would never know just how well-off they really were by looking at it. Blending in, was their main priority and they did a brilliant job of it.

“I’ll get the trunks—you two grab your birds!” Mr. Potter said as he got out of the car.

Sirius grabbed his owl and followed James into the house, feeling ridiculously giddy about being back again. It was the only real home he’d ever known.

They trudged up to James’ room and he beamed when he saw the two twin beds and all the Quidditch crap covering the walls and got a whiff of Mrs. Potter’s laundry detergent. Everything smelled like James and therefore, _heaven_.

The first thing they did was set down their owls and open the window. Onyx and Archimedes hooted appreciatively as soon as their cage doors were unlatched, immediately hopping out of them and going straight for the window, clearly desperate to stretch their wings.

And Sirius was _desperate_ for something, too.

He watched in rapture as James flopped face-first on his bed with a grunt. “ _God_ , it’s good to be back,” he groaned.

And Sirius couldn’t agree more.

He went and draped himself on top of him, covering the length of his body with his own, and suddenly feeling revived.

But that wasn’t _all_ he was feeling.

He was also highly aware of the close proximity between his dick and James’ arse.

“Mmm,” James noised burying his face in his pillow.

And Sirius’ heart raced.

He pressed up on his elbows and stared at the Quidditch poster on the wall, thinking.

The thing was, he’d yet to shag James.

As impossible as that seemed.

And it wasn’t that James had ever expressed disinterest in the concept...It was just that when they went at it, (horny as hell and typically short on time) they always went back to what they’d started out doing. What they knew best. And Sirius wasn’t complaining. Not one fucking bit. Having James Potter pound the daylights out of him could literally _never_ get old…but he was starting to grow desperate to return the favor. He hadn’t even properly played with James’ arse yet for godssakes! What kind of couple were they, anyway?

_A desperately horny and yet painfully restricted one._

And then his mind started racing.

Maybe James really wasn’t interested…

“Mmm, that feels good,” James murmured, bringing him back to the present moment.

And then, to his complete horror, he realized that he was literally rutting against him! Rubbing his dick against his arse completely unawares...

_Holy shit!_

He’d literally just been dry humping James Potter on his bed.

_Bloody hell._

_Well, that’s definitely a first..._

_Guess I can check it off my to-do list._

_God._

And then there was the sound of footsteps on the stairs and James flinched so wildly that he was flung off his back, hitting the floor hard with a thud.

“Bollocks!” he groaned, curling into a ball.

“Oh, Sirius! Are you alright, dear?” Mrs. Potter’s voice came.

“Yeah,” he wheezed. “Jus’ tripped.”

“Well, I was just coming up to let you boys know dinner will be ready in ten.”

“Great!” he croaked from the floor.

_Oh my god._

_Could I be any more pathetic?_

“We’ll, be down soon, mum,” James groaned, still lying on his stomach on the bed.

After she’d left, Sirius pried himself up and went and locked the door; not that it would really stop her if she wanted in.

”Bloody hell,” he hissed, going back to the bed and hovering over James. “That was close.”

“Mmm.”

“Is that all you can say?”

“Mmm,” James noised again.

And then he pounced on his back and started tickling his sides.

“Alright, alright!” James barked between laughs. He rolled to his back underneath him and snatched hold of both his wrists, holding him still. “You little shit,” he panted.

Sirius just grinned, elated and also utterly _relieved_ to feel James’ rock-hard dick pressing against his own. Clearly, his accidental, and albeit _embarrassing_ , ministrations had turned him on.

_Thank the fucking gods..._

“And by the way,” James said sternly, squeezing his wrists tighter, “no more wrestling with _werewolves_.”

Sirius flushed and raised his brows. “Jealous, are we?” 

“Maybe.”

“I like you _jealous_ ,” he crooned, leaning down towards him, his hair falling around his face as he did.

“Yeah, yeah,” James huffed. “Well, I like you all _mine_ …”

“I _am_ all yours…” Sirius said, squeezing his hips between his thighs.

“Yes, you _are_ ,” James breathed, releasing his wrists and pulling his face down with one hand, their lips just inches apart.

“And I always will be,” Sirius whispered before pressing into his lush, perfect mouth and kissing him slowly, _passionately_ , like he’d been dying to all bloody day. And then James was slipping his fingers up into his hair and tugging him down harder, thrusting his hot, greedy tongue inside his mouth and licking him weak.

_Oh god...oh yes..._

Sirius let out a groan and rubbed against him, not sure he or his starving _dick_ could take much more.

“Baby,” James breathed.

“Hmm?” he noised, now planting desperate kisses all over his face.

“I want you.”

His heart rioted in his chest.

“I know, love…I want you, too.” He kissed the very tip of his nose and brushed his hair back off his forehead.

“Maybe we can do it in the shower,” James breathed, his eyes still closed and an adorable, drunken expression crossing his gorgeous face.

Sirius smirked and placed a kiss on his warm cheekbone.

“Maybe we can do it right _here_ ,” he growled.

“Dinner’s ready!” Mrs. Potter’s voice came from down the stairs.

James huffed and gripped onto his upper thighs, squeezing needily and digging his fingers into the fabric, as if he wanted to claw his jeans off.

_Okay..._

_Wow._

“Save it for _tonight_ , Prongs,” Sirius leaned down and whispered by his ear, amazed by his own restraint. “There will be _plenty_ of time.”

  
***

~J~

“So, um…I was thinking…I mean _we_ were thinking…” James said nervously, “of getting jobs in London this summer, and _living_ there.” He shoved a forkful of broccoli and cheese casserole in his mouth and glanced at Sirius across the table.

“Really?” his mum asked in shock. “And you were going to tell me this plan _when_?”

“Well…I’m telling you _now_ ,” he said, turning red.

“And what about the bakery?” his pop asked, pushing his horn-rimmed glasses up his nose with his middle finger.

James flicked his eyes to Sirius, pleading for help, but Sirius just kicked him under the table and pursed his lips, like that was somehow supposed to give him courage.

_Wanker._

“Well, I thought I could…I mean, _we_ could, come home on weekends sometimes and help out…”

“And _where_ would you live and what _exactly_ would you do?” his mum asked irritably.

“We aren’t exactly sure yet…maybe something in Diagon Alley…”

Euphemia narrowed her eyes. “And you’d share a flat?”

“Yes!” they both said in unison.

“But you’re so _young_ ,” she said pleadingly. “And it’s just not safe out there anymore what with all the unrest and uprisings…”

“But _mum_ , who would want to attack two _pure-blooded_ teens anyway? We just wanna get some basic jobs to earn some money and live on our own…nothing wild.”

His mother sat there and frowned at him, clearly not convinced.

“Look, Sirius is determined to get his own place regardless. He’s set on it. And I’d like to give it a try, too. Get some real-world experience.”

“But you can work _here_ …and you don’t exactly _need_ the money,” his dad chimed in, cocking a brow.

“It’s not about that, pop. I wanna do it on my own. I’m of age now…and I’ll be eighteen soon…” he trailed off.

“Yeah, and Remus will probably be there all summer, too,” Sirius said, finally piping up. “He’s hoping to get an internship at the Ministry, so we wouldn’t be alone. And I just really need to get out on my own and take care of myself…since I won’t ever be going home again,” he faded off, staring down at his plate.

James’ heart clenched.

“You know you _always_ have a home here, dear,” Euphemia said softly, her eyes now glassy.

“I know and I’m grateful for it, _believe_ me,” Sirius said. “But it’s time I start taking care of myself. I’m ready.”

“Well, if you’re both set on it,” Fleamont sighed, “then I guess there’s nothing else to do.”

They both lit up and grinned at each other.

“We’d like to take a trip to Diagon Alley soon and look around…” James said.

“I guess I can drive you there this week,” his mum said dully, clearly still not thrilled with their plan.

“Well, I was kinda thinking we could just _apparate_ there,” he said hopefully.

“Oh, that’s right,” she said, staring off into the distance. “I forgot you can both do that now…”

“Yeah, and so then you wouldn’t have to drive us…”

Fleamont looked to Euphemia and smiled fondly, laying his hand atop hers, “Looks like our boys are finally growing up, dear.”

James shot Sirius a heated look, his heart beating faster.

_You have no idea..._

~~~

“My bed or yours?” James asked with a grin.

“Yours, always _yours_ ,” Sirius said, sauntering towards him, his sapphire eyes going dark and hooded.

James gulped.

_Oh boy._

Sirius reached out and clutched the hem of his night shirt, pulling him into his body. James let out a soft grunt as they collided, nearly seeing stars from just the _feel_ of him. “And…and you locked the door this time, right?” he stammered, staring down at him, his mouth going suddenly dry.

“Yes, I remembered,” Sirius said, his voice silky and dripping with sinful possibilities.

“Good…good…” James said, licking his lips.

_Why am I so bloody nervous?!_

_Jesus._

Sirius moved them towards the bed and fell backwards onto it, opening his legs and pulling him down on top of him as he did.

And James had a feeling they wouldn’t be doing much _sleeping_ their first night back at home.

_Not a fucking chance._

It was only about a second before their mouths were crashing together and their bodies were desperately entwining, writhing against each other and trying to find their fill.

And it felt like heaven.

And like home.

And like something he never wanted to do without again.

Just snogging and groping and rubbing-off in his bed until the wee hours of the morning.

It was good to be back.

_Damn good._

~~~

At some point during the night they both collapsed from exhaustion and James knew his mouth was gonna be _hella sore_ from so much snogging. He didn’t even _know_ the last time they’d kissed for that long…He felt out of shape.

Clearly, they needed more _practice_.

He pulled Sirius snugly into his body and hugged him close, curling around him from behind and finding that perfect sweet spot at the back of his neck; the one that felt like _home_ ; the one that made him utterly weak. He buried his nose into his silky-soft hair and shamelessly inhaled him like a fiend.

 _God_ , he’d missed that too...wasn’t even sure how he’d survived so bloody long without it…

_But not anymore._

They were _finally_ back where they belonged.

Together and in one bed.

And summer was just around the corner.

It was going to be epic.

_This is just the beginning, babe…_

_The best is yet to come._

***

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 🤗❤️🤗❤️🤗❤️🤗
> 
> Who’s ready for one long, hot summer with these two insanely sweet horndogs? I know I sure am! 🖐🌭🤓🏖 Crazy-hilarious adventures and jaw-dropping steamy moments await!😍
> 
> Also, we’ve hit 200k words! Ahhhhhh!🎉🎉🎉🥳


	55. The Beginning of Us

  
***

~Sirius~

I pace, and I pace, and I pace, and I get nowhere.

No closer to before, no closer to him.

The walls tremble around me, only they don’t.

It’s just me.

Shaking from the inside out.

I try to hold on to something good…

Something worth living for, something worth _trying_ for…

What was there before all this grey?

And then a memory comes to mind, it flashes before my dull eyes.

I squint from the brightness because I’m no longer accustomed to light...or happiness.

The memory is of summer.

The summer I had _him_ …

The summer that was _ours_.

I’ll hold onto it for as long as I can…

Bask in the glow until it’s just an empty shadow.

The summer of my seventeenth year.

**Part II**

**~Summer 1977~**

***

~J~

James rolled over with a grunt and then flinched, realizing half of his body was literally hanging off the edge of the bed.

He rolled again and smashed into something hard.

It was Sirius, sprawled out on the mattress like he bloody owned it.

Sharing a tiny bed certainly had its fair share of difficulties...

Like the fact that James’ feet were dangling off the end, and that no matter how hard they tried, they couldn’t both fit on it side by side.

“Babe,” he groaned, feeling Sirius’ hot-as-fuck skin pressed against him. He was like a tangle of arms and hair and blanket.

“Mmm,” a noise came.

James rubbed his eyes with one hand, grimacing slightly as he moved his jaw from side to side. Yes, it was definitely _sore_. But then again, they had snogged like two _lovesick teenagers_ until the wee hours of the morning…which he guessed was pretty fitting considering they actually were in _love_ and they technically were _teens_.

He smiled.

_Merlin, things have changed._

Just a year ago, he and Sirius were starting their very first summer together. Yes, Sirius had visited him during other summers, but this was the first _entire_ summer Sirius had spent with him, and it was an absolute blast. They’d been put to work at the bakery, _of course_ , nearly worked to death by his mum, but other than that, they’d played a ridiculous amount of Quidditch in their secret field and watched more footie than he ever had in his life and eaten more ice-cream than he ever cared to remember. And just to think, he could have been _snogging_ the daylights out of Sirius the entire time…and so much _more_.

All the time he’d wasted! All the kisses he’d missed!

But he couldn’t change the past.

Right now, he had Sirius…and that was all that mattered.

They could make up for all the lost time and lost summers by making this one, _the best one yet._

Sirius stirred, latching onto his body like some kind of Snarfalump plant, his tentacles wrapping around his torso and every other part of him.

James chuckled and pulled the covers back off him, trying to find where he began and ended.

“Babe…where the fuck are you?”

Sirius lifted his head, his black hair tangled and sticking up every which way, like a shaggy dog’s in need of some serious grooming.

“Here,” he growled, his eyes squinted and his nose wrinkled.

“Oh my god,” James breathed. “You’re adorable.”

Sirius pursed his lips in disapproval whilst still keeping his eyes shut.

“I’m serious. Like full on, proper _adorable_.”

“Wanker.”

James laughed and brushed Sirius’ hair back out of his face, trying to see more of him. “C’mere, you,” he said, gripping onto his biceps and dragging him up his body, going straight for his mouth.

They both groaned the second their lips pressed together. And if his dick were capable of groaning, it would have, too.

Sirius gripped the sides of his face between his hot palms and pulled back, pressing their foreheads together as he caught his breath. “I need to brush my teeth,” he panted.

“No you don’t,” James said, pulling him down again and prying his mouth open with his tongue.

Sirius flinched slightly, and then relaxed completely into him, pulling himself fully on top of his body and straddling his hips.

And his dick!

 _Merlin_ , it was rubbing in all the right places.

“James?”

“Hmm?”

“We’re gonna have to change the sheets.”

“Why?”

“Because we made a mess last night.”

James closed his eyes and tilted his head back. “We’re gonna make another one if you keep _doing_ that,” he breathed, referring, of course, to the way Sirius was presently torturing his groin.

“At the rate we’re going,” Sirius said, kissing his lips, “we’re gonna have to change the sheets _every day_.”

“That’s why we need our own place,” James muttered, before straining for his mouth again.

“And _somebody’s_ gonna have to do that laundry,” Sirius said, evading his lips and kissing the corner of his jaw instead, working his way down the side of his neck, his hot, burning lips setting everything on fire.

James curled his toes into the sheets and sucked in air.

“I can’t think about _laundry_ right now…sorry, babe,” he breathed, fairly certain that his dick was about one rub away from combustion.

“But we could do it _together_ ,” Sirius purred by his ear, like some kind of feline seductress, hell-bent on making him cum with just his words.

And goddamn it, it was too much.

_Too fucking much._

James gripped onto his arse with both hands and dug his fingers into the meaty flesh, thrusting his pelvis upwards as a deep, hungry groan welled up in his throat.

And then he felt Sirius’ hand, latched over his mouth.

“Love, no.”

James’ eyes widened.

“ _No_ , what?” he said against his hand.

“You _know_ what.”

James just gaped at him.

How in the hell did Sirius expect him to control himself when he was grinding against him like the devil?

He blinked his eyes and waited for Sirius to remove his hand, which he finally did after a long moment.

“Listen,” he breathed, I need to fuck you…and you need to be fucked…what is there to bloody think about?”

Sirius pursed his lips.

And James was absolutely certain that no one could possibly look as bloody _hot_ as Sirius Black did pursing his lips.

It just wasn’t fathomable.

“How about the fact that it’s—” Sirius looked up at the clock on the nightstand, “ _Noon_ and your mum’s probably downstairs waiting to feed us.”

James huffed. “Who _cares_ what bloody time it is! And I bet my mum’s already at the bakery.”

A pan banged loudly from downstairs.

_Fucking hell._

Sirius cocked a black brow triumphantly at him.

“So then what, are we just _never_ gonna do it here?” James hissed.

His dick was already _strongly_ protesting…practically holding up a damn picket sign and marching around the block.

“No, I didn’t say that…But we’ll just need to be more _strategic_. And surely we’ll have the house to ourselves at _some_ point.”

James nearly snarled, his top lip curling up slightly.

“We need our own flat.”

“ _Now_ you’re getting it, love,” Sirius smirked.

“Tomorrow,” he said determinedly. “We’ll start looking then.”

“Maybe we should look for _jobs_ first and then a place to live.”

“Okay, we can do that…whatever it takes.”

_Whatever it fucking takes._

Every step forward was one step closer to getting the freedom he really craved. The freedom they _desperately_ needed. Because _hell no_ was he gonna spend the entire bloody summer dodging his parents and resisting Sirius’ irresistible arse.

_Absolutely not._

Sirius pecked his lips and pulled back abruptly, only leaving him wanting more. “Now go take a cold shower, Prongs.”

James snatched hold of both his wrists and yanked him back down again, “Only if you come with me.”

“Nope,” Sirius said, popping the “P”, and once again, definitely the _hottest_ person to ever do that. “You can wank in your shower and I’ll wank in mine…It’ll be just like _old_ times.”

They stared at each other for a beat and then both started grinning.

“You little shit.”

“I’ll see you downstairs,” Sirius said, looking much too smug and satisfied with himself as he rolled off the bed.

  
***

~S~

“Well, it’s about _time_!” Mrs. Potter said, wearing her frilly pink apron and pouring some tea into a porcelain tea cup. “I thought I was going to have to come up there and make sure you two were still _alive_!”

Sirius grimaced at the visual.

If she’d done that, she would have seen _way more_ than she’d bargained for.

“Mum, it’s our _first_ day back…we needed the sleep,” James said. He yawned and plopped down on the bar stool, resting his chin in his hands.

Sirius smirked and sat down beside him.

“Did you sleep alright, dear?” Euphemia asked, staring directly at him.

Sirius blushed crimson, his mouth falling open slightly. “Oh, yes…always do,” he said, nervously fiddling with his hands and pressing his toes into the wooden stool, and he didn’t even have to look at James to know he was grinning smugly beside him.

_God, we need our own place._

There was no chance in hell they could survive the whole summer with the Potter’s and _not_ get caught. For one, they liked to go at it way too hard. And unfortunately, (or fortunately) the Room had _spoiled_ them. They were used to having a very sturdy bed in the very center of the room with copious amounts of lube and not a soul to hear them.

Here, they were liable to snap the bed in half and burn down the whole village with just their lust.

He pressed his face into his palms, trying to cool his reddening cheeks, but it wasn’t helping.

Maybe he just needed to stop thinking about _sex_ at the breakfast table.

“Do you want coffee or tea?” Mrs. Potter asked.

“Mmm, coffee,” James said.

“I don’t know _how_ you can drink it,” she scoffed. “Back when I was your age, I detested the stuff. Of course, it was harder to come by then and it wasn’t nearly as _trendy_ as it is now…I do worry what the world is coming to…” she sighed sadly, “losing the tradition of tea…”

“Mum, it’s just _coffee_ ,” James said, raking his fingers back through his hair and leaning forward on the counter. “You can like _both_ without betraying the other.”

And Sirius just watched him, mesmerized, not really caring what the fuck he was talking about, because there was a small patch of stubble on James’ jaw, and he was dying to get his mouth on it, feel the scrape of it against his tongue.

“Yes, but tea is more than just _tradition_ , honey, it’s a way of life…”

“Okay, mum, well nobody’s trying to change your way of life…”

“Well, tell that to all the coffee shops popping up everywhere! They’re going to run us out of business!”

“Mum, we _sell_ coffee at our bakery…”

“I know…”

“And so your point is?”

“My _point_ is that things are changing…and I’m not sure I’m okay with it,” she sniffed, wiping her hands testily on her apron.

Sirius licked his lips and continued to stare at the same spot on James’ jaw, practically salivating.

“You’ve always said we need to learn how to _adapt_ ,” James said, a smug grin sliding up his gorgeous face.

Sirius melted a little and rested his chin in his hands.

“True,” Mrs. Potter said thoughtfully. “I suppose I should take my own advice then and not make such a fuss over it…We can’t stop progress,” she sighed.

“Exactly,” James said. “Now can I please have some _coffee_?”

They both just stared at each other for a beat and then started laughing.

And then James turned to Sirius, “What do you wanna drink, babe?” he asked, resting his hand on his upper thigh.

They both froze.

James’ eyes went as large and round as saucers, clearly realizing what he’d just done, whilst Sirius stiffened and held his breath, feeling the penetrating gaze of Mrs. Potter nearly incinerating the both of them.

_Fuck._

He knew he had less than a second to remedy the slip.

Acting on instinct, he punched James in the arm as hard as he could. “You arse!” he barked.

James froze for a beat, his eyes widening in shock, and then thank _god_ he played along. “Hey!” he yelped, punching him back, nearly knocking him off the stool.

_Holy shit!_

_Yep, that’s definitely gonna leave a bruise._

They kept swatting and slapping at each other, calling names like two twelve-year-old girls, until Euphemia was holding her hands up in protest. “Okay, you two! Time out! That’s enough!”

Panting and red-faced, they both pulled back.

_Crisis averted._

She seemed convinced.

Just two teenage idiots messing about.

No big deal.

Nothing to be alarmed over.

Sirius rested his elbows on the bar and shook his head, shooting James a sideways glance that said, _I’m gonna kill you._

James just flushed and sipped his coffee.

  
***

~J~

James could not _believe_ his colossal screw up...

Or that he’d gotten away with it.

Thank _god_ his mum seemed to buy the cover...Because he had no idea how she’d react if she knew the truth. Definitely make them stay in separate bedrooms for one thing...and probably not allow them to get a flat together…

And worst of all…

Would she be disappointed?

He didn’t know how she _couldn’t_ be.

His whole life, she’d fantasized about him finding a nice, sweet girl to settle down with…giving her lots of grandkids to spoil and growing their family tree…

And that definitely was _not_ an option now.

Not even a remote _desire_.

Sirius meant more to him than all that…

And if his parents couldn’t understand that…or refused to _accept_ it…

His heart squeezed painfully in his chest.

_No…just no._

He sighed and set a stack of dirty dishes down in the sink.

He didn’t want to think about his parent’s reaction to what he was…or to what he and Sirius had.

Their disapproval would simply be devastating.

“Love?”

“Hmm?” he noised, glancing back over his shoulder. His mum had left for bakery duty and his pop was currently in his potions shed, probably working on the damn _hair cream_. 

“You’d better come here,” Sirius said flatly.

James quit what he was doing and turned to stare at him, the hair prickling on the back of his neck as he did. 

And the _look_ on Sirius’ face!

_Holy shit._

He gulped, his heart pounding in his chest as he slowly moved towards him and around the counter.

Sirius turned on his stool to face him, his elbows casually rested on the bar as he leaned his back against it, his gorgeous face impassive and his blue eyes penetrating, a literal textbook definition of _sexy_. And then he opened his thighs wider and beckoned James forward with the slightest nod of his chin.

_Oh my god._

And James was there in less than a second, greedily sliding his hands up those same thighs and pushing him back further into the counter with his body, their lips just inches apart and everything inside of him screaming for more. “You’re not mad at me?” he breathed.

Sirius nuzzled their noses together gently and then pressed against his forehead. “No,” he said. “I could never really be mad at you…even if you _did_ punch me so hard my—“

But James didn’t care.

He surged forward and claimed his mouth, swallowing his words down as well as his tongue, tasting his sweetness and going completely weak. Sirius made a surprised, yet _satisfied,_ noise and clasped his face between his palms, automatically locking his legs around his waist and squeezing.

The kiss grew deep and desperate and much too audacious for broad daylight or the middle of his parent’s sodding kitchen.

But James didn’t care.

Sirius was worth the bloody risk.

_And so much more._

~~~

They spent the rest of the day perfecting their ability to be complete and utter slugs, refusing to leave the sofa and the telly unless they absolutely had to.

Sirius was snuggled into his side under a blanket and life couldn’t get much better, unless, of course, they’d been banging it out on said sofa…but this was definitely the next best thing.

His pop hadn’t shown his face all day and his mum wouldn’t be home for another hour.

Life was grand.

“So d’you think we’ll have any luck tomorrow?” he asked Sirius, pressing his lips into the top of his hair. He closed his eyes and inhaled, dying a little, but in a _good_ way.

“Mmm, I hope so…I mean, I’ve heard of other kids our age finding jobs there…so it’s definitely possible.”

James grinned and then nuzzled his way to Sirius’ ear. “Do you think _kids_ fuck like we do?”

Sirius stiffened and sucked in air so loud it could probably be heard all the way back at Hogwarts.

And James started chuckling, _beyond_ chuffed with his reaction.

Sirius sat up and faced him, his black hair a glorious mess. “James Potter. You’ve got a dirty mouth,” he said, and then playfully slapped him on the thigh.

“What?” James chuckled, playing innocent. “I was just making a _point_.”

“And that would be?”

“That I don’t think we’re _kids_ anymore.”

Sirius stared at him for a beat, his pursed lips sliding up into a heart-stopping grin and his sharp cheekbones flushing a delicious pink. “You may be right,” he finally said, leaning towards him and flicking his eyes down to his mouth.

James just sat there, hypnotized.

And then Sirius was pressing into his lips, kissing him, and catching him completely by surprise.

_Mother of Merlin!_

The confident stroke of his hot tongue, the agonizing pressure of his soft lips…

There was fire in his mouth.

And it was hot and thrilling and entirely unexpected.

And when Sirius finally pulled back, James only felt ravenous for more.

Bloody _starved_ for it.

Like he could claw down walls or give his fucking life for another kiss like that...

“I don’t suppose _kids_ kiss like that either,” Sirius breathed, settling back into his side, as if what had just happened were nothing out of the ordinary.

And James just sat there in a daze, trying to remember to breathe as he stared at the flashing lights of the telly.

_No, I don’t think they do._

  
***

~S~

At this point, showering together just wasn’t even an option.

Mrs. Potter always seemed to be bustling about upstairs, finding little errands to run and asking them if they needed things.

And a part of Sirius wondered if maybe she hadn’t _fully_ believed their little charade that morning…If she wasn’t somehow suspicious of what was really going on…But he prayed he was just being paranoid. The _last_ thing he and James needed was for their plans to be thwarted.

He turned off the hot water and stepped out of the shower, grabbing his towel off the hook and drying his face. He couldn’t even _remember_ the last time he and James had showered together. It must have been that one time after Quidditch practice…when they’d basically been caught by Frank…

He drug the towel back through his hair and then wrapped it around his waist, already thinking about their big day tomorrow.

The fact was, he was bloody nervous about apparating.

Already dreading it, in fact.

Even though apparating should be the _least_ of his worries.

Finding a _job_ was the main priority, because even if they couldn’t find a place to live for some reason, having jobs in the city would at least get them out of the house and on the road to independence…which was _exactly_ where he wanted to be.

He slid his navy and white striped pajama bottoms on over his briefs and then stared at himself in the mirror, buttoning up the matching top; he paused for a moment, suddenly struck by his uncanny resemblance to a prison inmate. He chuckled and shook his head. The pajamas had been a Christmas gift from Mrs. Potter and probably something she’d considered very _fashionable_. They certainly _felt_ expensive.

Once he’d finished, he grabbed his things and went back across the hall to their room.

James was just brushing his teeth when he walked inside, wearing the exact same pajamas and somehow managing to make them look like posh men’s sleepwear.

_He would._

And it didn’t hurt that James was sticking his arse out as he bent over the sink.

Sirius grinned and plopped down on the end of his bed, thoroughly admiring the view.

James certainly liked to make a fuss over _his_ arse, singing its praises and saying he surely had the best one in _all the lands_ , but frankly, James’ arse was the picture of athletic ability…hard and strong and tight and like something you just wanted to bite into...Not that he’d given it much thought or anything…

“Ready for bed?” James asked, tossing his towel on the cabinet and flicking off the light.

“Yep,” Sirius said, feeling the butterflies dance in his stomach, though at this point, he might as well just call them _moths_ , because they were always in there at night, doing their thing.

James pounced on the bed, making him bounce, and then grabbed him round the waist and pulled him upwards and into his arms.

Sirius just snorted, thoroughly used to being manhandled by now, and threw his leg over James’ hip, getting comfortable, and for the millionth bloody time, utterly amazed that they could somehow make sleeping in a _twin_ bed work. “Now, we can’t snog all night,” he said, as James grabbed the covers and pulled them up to their shoulders. “We have an early morning and a long day tomorrow…”

And even in the darkness, he could practically _feel_ James rolling his eyes.

“Alright…alright…” James huffed, squeezing him in his arms. “So are you nervous?”

Sirius held his breath for a moment. “You mean about apparating?”

_How does he always know!_

_I swear to god._

“Mm-hmm.”

“Kind of…we’ve never gone that far.”

James brushed his thumb over his cheekbone and then kissed his forehead. “It’ll be _fine,_ babe. We’ve been there enough times...so there shouldn’t be any problem. And besides, you’re a _natural_ …”

“Yeah,” Sirius breathed, his stomach still churning like a self-brewing cauldron…or maybe it was just the moths, dancing at a fucking rave.

James leaned forward and kissed his lips, once, twice, three times, and then four, steadily easing his fears and calming his heart.

He kissed him back, stroking his face appreciatively and melting into his arms.

James was right, everything would be _fine_.

As long as they were together, he could handle anything.

***

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 🪰⭐️🪰⭐️🪰⭐️🪰


	56. Magic Beans and Mangled Things

***

~S~

They woke early the next morning and quickly got ready for the day, grateful they at least didn’t have to _drive_ all the way to London.

“Wanna eat something first?” James asked as they headed down the stairs.

“Nah, I might toss it up,” Sirius replied, already feeling queasy.

“No worries. We can get something when we get there.”

“Good idea,” he said, swallowing hard.

James shot him a quick, sideways glance and narrowed his eyes, “Hey, we can always drive there if you’d feel more comfortable.”

“No!” Sirius barked. “I mean… _no_. I can do this. I’m just anxious. It’s the farthest away we’ve ever apparated. How come you aren’t more worried?”

“I dunno,” James said with a shrug. “Guess I just trust the training…Don’t forget _The Three D’s_ now!” he said in a high voice, ribbing him in the side.

“Alright, alright, I won’t,” Sirius laughed, wishing that confidence in his training actually _would_ bring him relief, but at this point, he wasn’t sure anything would.

“Are you ready?” James asked.

They were standing at the bottom of the stairs now, facing each other.

“Yeah, I think so.”

“Okay, I’ll go first…You have your wand, right?”

“Yeah, I’ve got it,” he said, padding down his jeans.

“Good. Okay, so we’re going to the spot right outside the Leaky Cauldron, by the brick wall. Can you picture it in your mind’s eye?”

Sirius swallowed hard and closed his eyes. “Yes, I can see it.”

“Okay, that’s where I’ll be waiting. Just don’t overthink it.”

“Wait!” Sirius yelped, panic rising up his throat. He lunged forward and threw himself against James’ body, flinging his arms around his neck and kissing him hard.

James clutched him back fiercely and returned the kiss, only pulling away so they could both breathe.

“Okay, _now_ I’m ready,” Sirius panted, feeling dizzy but in a _good_ way.

James licked his lips and started to grin as he stared down at him, thankfully unfazed by his sudden display of anxiety. “We could always do side-along apparition, you know.”

“I know…but I need to practice on my own,” Sirius huffed. “And we already know _you’re_ an expert…”

“If you’re sure.”

“I am.”

“Okay…well then I’ll see you on the other side…” James said.

Sirius nodded and stared in his green eyes for a moment, getting lost in the intensity he found there. “Right,” he breathed.

And then James was gone.

Vanished out of thin air.

Leaving nothing but swirling dust motes and empty space behind.

And Sirius just stood there, completely startled, his heart racing.

He already missed him.

And on top of that, he _hated_ that apparating had become like a _thing_ …A thing that the more he worried over, the more anxious and resistant he felt about doing. And part of him wondered if he wasn’t just somehow projecting his fears onto it. Like was it really _apparating_ that he was so scared about, or something else? He was an Animagi for christssakes! An achievement that even _advanced_ wizards didn’t attempt. And he’d done plenty of sketchy magic over the years. So why was apparating—something that the _majority_ of witches and wizards did with little to no thought—giving him so much grief?

He shook his head in exasperation.

He wasn’t going to find the answers right now.

_Stop stalling._

He took a deep breath and then closed his eyes, picturing the spot he was aiming for. He remembered exactly what the cobblestones looked like; there had always been a particular stone with a large crack running down the center that resembled a lightning bolt. He visualized it and then pictured James standing there…waiting for him.

There was a faint ringing sound in his ears and the uncomfortable feeling of being squeezed through a tube and pulled like a magnet to that particular place.

And when he opened his eyes again, he was in Diagon Alley, standing on the cobblestones and squinting at the bright sunlight, and when he whipped his head around, he saw James, leaning against the brick wall with his arms crossed over his chest and a sexy smirk on his face. “You made it!” he said, immediately rushing towards him and grabbing hold of his shoulders. “Do you feel okay?”

_Relieved. So damn relieved._

_And desperately in love with you…_

_But those things may be unrelated._

“Just a bit nauseous,” Sirius replied, shutting his eyes again and dropping his head, trying not to think about it. And then he felt James’ arms, wrapping around him and pulling him against his chest. “I’m so proud of you, baby,” he crooned by his ear, bringing him back to reality…Hell, the sound of James’ voice could probably bring him back from the _dead_.

“Breakfast. You need to eat something. C’mon,” James said, gripping onto his arm and tugging him along.

“Where are we going?”

“Not sure yet,” he said, looking around with furrowed brows. “Hey, that place looks new…”

  
***

~J~

They were standing in front of an attractive shop front that they’d both never seen before; the quaint building had tall glass windows, magenta and yellow striped awnings, and the name, “The Enchanted Bean” written in gold, cursive lettering across the wooden door. And at the very top of the building, there was a giant, steaming kettle hovering in the air and pouring liquid into a coffee cup like a fountain, with the cup never overflowing.

“Brilliant!” James exclaimed. He pulled Sirius in the shop behind him and was instantly hit with the strong, heady aroma of brewing coffee and freshly baked pastries.

Sirius immediately perked up by his side. “Smells good,” he said dreamily.

“Here, you sit down and rest and I’ll go get us something,” James said as he guided him to a table and pulled out a chair for him.

And then he walked to the counter and stared up at the giant chalkboard menu that said “Daily Specials” as a piece of white chalk was zooming around, writing things on the board.

“Hullo, dear! Welcome to The Enchanted Bean! What can I get you?” a woman asked.

“Well, this is my first time here, what do you suggest?”

The middle-aged witch with a pile of curly black hair atop her head and coffee-colored skin beamed at him with the whitest smile he’d ever seen. “Well, love, we’ve got a vanilla bean toffee cappuccino with extra foam that’s a favorite, and our licorice scones are quite popular, too!”

His stomach growled from just the description.

“That sounds amazing! I’ll take two of each, please!” he said, turning back to look at Sirius, who was now slumped over the table with his head in his hands.

_Hang in there, babe…_

“Brilliant! You two lads on summer holiday?”

“Yes, ma’am. From Hogwarts.”

“Oh, lovely! I went there! Hufflepuff all the way! What House are you in?” she asked, grabbing two giant, lilac colored coffee cups and setting them under a strange looking machine.

“We’re both in Gryffindor,” he said proudly. “And on the Quidditch team, too.”

“Well, fancy that! I once dated a chap from Gryffindor—well, we went on a few _dates_ together at least, and you know what,” she said, narrowing her brown eyes at him, “you remind me a right bit of him. Something in the _eyes_ …” Then she shook her head and smiled, “But that was _ages_ ago…doubt old _Fleamont_ would even remember me…” she muttered to herself, waving her wand at the strange looking device and causing caramel colored coffee to instantly start pouring into the two cups.

“Excuse me, did you say _Fleamont_?” James sputtered.

“Yes!”

“That’s my _father_! I’m James—James Potter!” he said beaming.

“Merlin’s beard!” she exclaimed with wide eyes. “That’s where I know those _eyes_ from! Fleamont Potter…How is he?”

“Brilliant! He and my mum live in Cheshire now. They run a bakery called Buns and More.”

“Is that so? I thought he always fancied potions…”

“Oh, he still does! He’s an inventor part time…and quite a good one, too! He just got a patent for a hair cream he’s been working on!”

“Well good for him! He always was a smart bloke! Though, maybe not _that_ smart since he didn’t marry me!” she said with a hearty laugh as she plated two scones and then set them on a tray along with the cups. “Here you go, love,” she said, her chocolate eyes twinkling.

“Thanks!” he replied, picking up the tray.

“My name’s Trixie by the way, Trixie Mullingar. Tell your father I said ‘hullo!’”

“I will!” he said, walking back to his table. “And thank you!”

He sat down across from Sirius and sighed.

“Well, that took long enough,” Sirius said playfully, resting his chin in his hands. “Making women of all ages _swoon_ , I suppose.”

James blushed and scooted his chair closer to the table. “She knew my dad at Hogwarts…”

“I know, love. I _heard_ ,” Sirius said, picking up his cup. He blew on it first and then took a tiny sip.

“Well, how is it?”

“Bloody delicious,” he said, drinking some more and closing his eyes. “Blimey…this might be the _best_ coffee I’ve ever tasted…”

“Even better than _mine_?”

“It’s a tie.”

James smirked and took a sip of his cappuccino.

_Merlin…_

Sirius was right; it _was_ bloody amazing. The flavor of creamy vanilla, caramel toffees, and coffee all mixed to perfection with about an inch of thick foam was making his head spin and his tastebuds dance.

“Dear _god_ , these scones are good, too,” Sirius said, taking a massive bite out of one and looking much perkier. “I bet Wormtail would _love_ these.” 

“He does love licorice,” James said with a smirk, relieved to see him looking better. Clearly, he would always need to have food on hand for when Sirius apparated.

“Hey, you should ask her about a job,” Sirius said, nudging his knee under the table.

“But what about you?”

“I’m not sure a coffee shop would suit me…”

“But I thought…” James started to say, his face instantly falling.

“What? That we’d work together? Love, the chances of a place hiring _two_ people will be hard to find…and besides, we fancy different things…”

James pouted and stared down at his cup, fiddling with the handle. He couldn’t help it. It hadn’t even occurred to him that they might be working in different places.

Then what was the point of even having jobs?

_Oh right…because we’re trying to be adults…_

_Independence and all that shit._

“But we can ask if they’d hire two people, if that would make you feel better,” Sirius said, touching his hand gently and smiling.

“Alright,” James breathed, feeling a bit more hopeful.

“Let’s just focus on getting _actual jobs_ so that we’ll be able to afford a place to live,” Sirius said, patting his hand and then picking up his scone again.

“Right.”

~~~

When they were finishing up, Sirius leaned towards him, “Now go ask her, love. You can do it.”

James nodded and stood up, walking back to the counter, “Erm, Trixie?” he said, his voice cracking slightly.

“Yes, dear?”

“I was wondering if you were hiring...I’m...uh, looking for a summer job…”

She beamed at him, “Well, you’re in luck! Because I _am_ looking to hire another person…I thought I could manage this place with just one helper, but we’ve been so busy lately, I see I need more!”

“Oh, just the one?” he asked, biting his lip.

“Yes, I’ve already got an assistant…I can just take on one more…”

His heart sunk in his chest as he glanced back at Sirius, who was smiling at him encouragingly from the door.

“Well...I’ll take it!” he said, turning back to her. “When can I start?”

~~~

“My first job!” he exclaimed, pulling Sirius out the door and into the street. “I mean, yeah, there’s the _bakery_ …but that doesn’t really count. This is brilliant!” he said, squeezing his forearm with both hands and desperately wishing he could kiss him.

“Yes, it is!” Sirius said beaming up at him. “I’m so proud of you!”

James grinned. “Now, we just need to find _you_ one, _and_ a place to live!”

“Exactly. How hard can it be?”

  
***

~S~

They’d been to Eeylops Owl Emporium, Flourish and Blotts, Quidditch Supplies, and even Florean Fortescue’s Ice Cream Parlour, but so far, no one was hiring.

Sirius raked his hands back through his hair, feeling distraught, “Well, there is _one_ place we haven’t tried yet…” he sighed.

“Where?” James asked.

“Knockturn Alley.”

“No.”

“Why not? I’m not afraid of _dark_ things…”

“Exactly. You’ve had enough of that in your life. It’s time you came over into the light,” James said, nudging his side until he grinned.

“But it can’t hurt to look, right?”

“Oh, alright,” James huffed.

They turned a corner and suddenly it was as if they were in a different world. Somehow, the sunlight didn’t reach into this gloomy place. Everyone was dressed in black or drab colors, and all the shop fronts had a foreboding, sinister feel to them.

James turned towards him and grimaced, “You voted for this…”

“Yeah, yeah…”

“Oh, look, a _shrunken heads_ shop…that looks right up your alley,” James said with a smirk.

“Think I’ll pass…” Sirius replied, suddenly feeling sick again. “Though, I wouldn’t mind seeing _Kreacher’s_ head hanging in that window,” he said grimly.

James snorted.

“Hey, what’s this place?” he asked, staring through the window of what looked like a junk shop. “Let’s check it out,” he said, pulling James along with him through the door.

“What could you _possibly_ do here?” James asked.

“I dunno, maybe it’s like a repair shop or something...”

Suddenly, a short, burly looking man appeared from the back, wiping his hands on his apron, and standing behind him, was a man so large he would have had to bend in half to fit in a normal sized room.

“Hagrid?” James asked in disbelief.

“Blimey! If it isn’t James Potter!”

“Hi, Hagrid!” Sirius said with a small wave.

“An’ young Sirius Black, too! What are the likes of yeh two doin’ here?” he asked, his bushy eyebrows raised high above his beetle-black eyes.

Hagrid was the game keeper at Hogwarts. He kept to himself, mainly. Probably because students made fun of him for being a half-giant, with “half a brain” they’d always say, but Sirius had always found him friendly and helpful, even if he was a little dim witted.

“Oh,” Sirius said standing taller, “Well, I’m looking for a job.”

“Well, yeh best be lookin’ in Diagon Alley then!” Hagrid said, darting his eyes around. “This aint’ no place for Hogwarts students…”

“Well, I was just curious what this place was...”

The dirty looking shopkeeper grunted and ran his greasy hand back through his even greasier hair and then nodded at Hagrid.

Hagrid looked down at the man and frowned, as if they were having some kind of silent conversation.

“What is it _exactly_ that you do here?” Sirius asked, looking around the room; it was piled high with what appeared to be Muggle car parts, broken electronics, and mangled metal.

“Well, it’s not exactly _legal,_ yeh see,” Hagrid said in a low, yet still booming, voice.

James and Sirius both glanced at each other with raised brows.

“So then what are _you_ doing here?” James asked.

“Well, erm…I needed a part for me bike, see,” Hagrid said, his cheeks turning pink.

“Your bike?” Sirius asked, narrowing his eyes.

“Yeh can’ tell no one…” Hagrid said in a hushed voice. “See, I’ve got a motorcycle…an _enchanted_ one…An’ ole Errol here, sells me the parts…”

“A motorcycle?” Sirius asked slowly, his eyes narrowing.

“Yeah, an’ it’s enchanted…to _fly_ …” Hagrid whispered.

“That’s what you do here?” James asked the man named Errol. “Enchant Muggle things?”

The man grunted and nodded his head.

“Errol don’ talk,” Hagrid said. “He’s a mute…well, not by _choice,_ o’ course. Them _Death Eaters_ did it to ‘em…He refused their business on account of ‘em not accepting half-bloods…and they didn’t take it kindly.”

Sirius’ mouth fell open as he glanced sideways at James. “Oh,” he said quietly. “Well do you need any help? Like an assistant? Because I’m pretty good with metal, and enchantments, and what I don’t know, I can learn,” he said, standing taller and holding his breath; it _was_ technically his first job interview, after all.

Errol stared him up and down for a moment, squinting his eyes, and then nodded his head.

“Are yeh sure yeh wanna work _here_?” Hagrid asked.

“I’m sure,” Sirius replied unwaveringly.

Because there was only one thought on his mind, and it had nothing to do with making money or finding his independence or becoming a bloody adult… 

_I’m going to build a fucking motorcycle..._

He had no bloody clue how he’d do it, but he suddenly found himself determined.

“Well, Errol here will write down for yeh whatever he can’ say,” Hagrid said, whacking the man on the back and nearly toppling him over. “An’ the rest, he’ll just have to show yeh.”

Sirius smiled so wide his cheeks hurt. He quickly wrote down his information, telling Errol to send word by owl or whatever creature he had, and let him know when he could start and what the pay would be, and then he and James were saying their goodbyes and quickly heading back to Diagon Alley.

“You really think you could stand working there?” James asked, disbelief dripping from his words.

“I can handle it, _posh boy,_ ” Sirius said, shaking his head with a smirk and ribbing his side.

_A fucking motorcycle!_

_Holy shit._

His heart was racing and his mind was going a million miles an hour, and then he nearly ran face-first into a wooden pole.

“Watch it!” James yelped, pulling him back.

There was a poster pinned to the pole and they both just stared at it. It was a page from the latest Daily Prophet that said, “Rumors of War: The Dark Lord is Gathering an Army,” with a moving picture of masked people in dark robes, marching down a street.

“Well, that’s cheerful,” James said.

“Maybe we should get a copy,” Sirius suggested.

“Mum will have one at home, I’m sure,” James huffed, tugging him along. “And you _wonder_ why I don’t want you working there?” he said irritably.

“I don’t see what this _Dark Lord_ chap and his ridiculous army have anything to do with _me_ working in a junk shop…” Sirius grumbled. He was _not_ giving up on his dream of having a motorcycle…even if he had just concocted it ten minutes ago. 

“Well, I’d just feel better if you were working closer to me…in a less _drab_ place…” James said, visibly cringing.

“I’ll only be a few minutes around the corner, love. And it’s not like I’ll be working in _Hades_ …Besides, I’m excited to enchant some junk…I mean…a _motorcycle_ …just think…” he trailed off, unable to contain his longing.

James glanced at him sideways and smirked. “What’s this now? Do you fancy one or something?”

“Maybe,” he said, biting his lip.

“Huh,” James noised, smiling to himself.

“What?”

“Oh, nothing…just visualizing it…”

Sirius smirked and went to grab his hand but stopped himself and bumped against his side instead. “Okay, well now that we’ve got the jobs covered, what about a place to live?”

“Yeah, let’s look at those flats at the end of the street. Surely we can afford _those_ …”

~~~

But they were both gravely disappointed to learn that they could no more afford one of _those_ flats than buy a new house.

“Blimey, how do they expect people to live and work here?” Sirius asked, feeling beyond exhausted.

“I guess they don’t…” James replied. “Seems like we’ll have to look in London.”

“Well, I’m beat,” Sirius sighed. “Maybe we should save that for another day…I’m ready to wash off the grime and go to bed.”

“Same here,” James said. “Maybe tomorrow…Hey, d’you wanna try side-along apparition?”

“Sure, why not.”

It sounded much more appealing at the moment; he was so damn tired he wasn’t even sure he _could_ apparate on his own. He might accidentally end up in Timbuktu, or worse, splinch off his own dick…

James pulled him into an alleyway. “Okay, hold my hand,” he said.

Sirius laced their fingers together and exhaled, and before he could even blink, he was being squeezed through that uncomfortably familiar tube and jerked forward at break-neck speed.

And then they were standing back at the foot of the stairs.

He sagged with relief, amazed how much easier it was doing it with James, and then there was a loud scream and the sound of metal clattering to the floor.

Euphemia was standing in the kitchen, her mouth hanging open in shock as a metal lid spun wildly on the tile floor. “Oh! You two nearly gave me a heart attack!” she screeched, her eyes darting down to their clasped hands and back up to their faces.

They quickly let go of each other.

“Sorry, mum! We were just practicing side-along apparition,” James said.

“Well, I’m glad you’re both back safe and sound,” she huffed, picking up the metal lid. “And by the looks of it, you could certainly use a shower!” she barked crossly. “Go get cleaned up and we’ll eat supper in an hour when your father gets home.”

_Yikes._

Clearly, she was still sore about their summer plans…

  
***

~J~

“I think mum is still pissed,” James said, pulling his shirt up and over his head.

“You think?” Sirius replied, unbuttoning his jeans.

“I figured she’d have warmed up to it by now…I mean, she should be _glad_ she doesn’t have to drive us to London, or any other place.”

“James, your mum _loves_ driving us around…and spoon feeding you…and changing your nappies…”

James barked out a laugh, completely surprised by his words.

His mum wasn’t _that_ attached to him, was she?

“I’m serious, you git!” Sirius scoffed, peeling his shirt off and tossing it aside. “She’s the _main_ reason we can’t stay here this summer…we couldn’t get away with anything.”

James rolled his eyes and moved towards him, still trying to kick his jeans off. “Well, we’ve managed to get away with _some_ things,” he said.

“Yeah, but not the _things_ we really want,” Sirius said tartly, placing his hands on his hips.

And suddenly, James realized they were both stripped down to their knickers and standing in the middle of his room.

His _cock_ suddenly realized it as well.

“Erm…so are we gonna shower together or…”

Sirius pursed his lips and huffed out of his nose, tapping his foot on the floor.

“Well, are we?”

He could tell Sirius was debating; struggling with what he _wanted_ to do versus what they _should_ do…probably trying to figure out how they could be completely naked in a small space _without_ pounding into each other…or without cracking the walls and breaking the sound barrier.

And he didn’t even have to look down to realize that he was already hard. Clearly, the visual was more than enough for his dick.

“Babe,” he finally sighed, “it’s not _Arithmancy_ …Do you want _me_ to take care of this?” he asked, motioning to his swollen cock, “Or do _you_ want to?”

Sirius’ eyes grew wide and unmistakably hungry. He licked his lips.

_Just say the word._

“ _I_ want to,” Sirius finally breathed, and then he grabbed hold of his arm and tugged him towards the loo.

_Happy fucking days!_

He was finally gonna get some action.

  
***

~S~

Sirius went for James’ briefs as soon as he’d pulled him into the bathroom and shut the door. He yanked them down to his ankles and sucked in air at the sight of his gorgeous cock, all pink and hard and standing at attention. He licked his lips, practically salivating. It felt like a thousand years since he’d had his mouth on it.

_Fuck._

How were they gonna do this quietly?

And he knew James was thinking the same thing when he looked in his eyes.

They needed to be fast and _discreet_. Knowing Mrs. Potter, she’d be rapping at the door, asking James if he needed any more towels and wanting to know where Sirius was.

“You’ve gotta keep your mouth shut,” he said.

James nodded with wide eyes.

“Now, get in the shower.”

James obeyed and stepped inside. He turned on the water and stood underneath it, closing his eyes and tilting his face up, and for a moment, Sirius just watched him, stupefied. He still had a hard time processing what they were...what they’d become...and the things they did...and he never planned on taking any of it for granted.

James Potter wanted him to suck his dick.

He _needed_ him to.

How could he ever want more from life than that?

He slid down his briefs and kicked them off before stepping into the shower and closing the glass door. If they were ever walked in on, there’d certainly be no place to hide...and either the shower had shrunk, or they’d _grown_ , because he definitely didn’t remember it being such a tight fit the last time they were in it. Even if they’d wanted to shag, it would be quite difficult.

“Seems smaller, huh?” James said, reading his thoughts.

“Erm, yeah…” he replied, suddenly feeling nervous. He eyed James’ cock warily and gulped. “So, do you want me to…”

“Of course,” James said, pulling him into his arms and pressing their naked bodies together.

Okay, now he was getting warm.

_Very warm._

“But only if you want to,” James breathed by his ear.

Sirius shivered and clasped onto his slick sides, the hot water pouring over them and filling the small space with steam. “Always.”

And then James kissed him.

First slowly, _gently_ , and then it grew into something explosive, something _fierce_ and rough and wildly impatient, and suddenly, he couldn’t wait any longer; he shoved James up against the pink tile wall and fell to his knees, dragging his hands down his wet body and admiring every fucking inch of it: his mouth-watering chiseled six-pack, the cock-aching defined V of his lower abs; his gorgeous muscular thighs, and the tempting, dark brown hair of his groin…

He was an entire feast for the senses and Sirius was suddenly _starving_.

He clasped onto the back of his clenched thighs and dug his fingers into the meaty flesh.

James made a noise and flinched.

“Quiet, love.”

James nodded, his Adam’s apple bobbing as he swallowed hard and tilted his head back against the wall.

And Sirius wondered if this could _possibly_ be as good for James as it was for him.

He leaned forward and licked the very tip of his wet cock, feeling the sensation go straight to his own.

James made a strangled noise and clenched his fists at his sides.

This was going to be difficult...they were both wound so fucking tight...

But there was no time to dwell on it now.

Sirius took him in his mouth and started sucking, trying to keep his own noise level to a minimum. But that was bloody hard to do when you were tasting heaven!

Why had they never practiced those silencing spells?!

James was already thrusting into his mouth, tilting his pelvis up to a desperate rhythm, one of his hands tangled in Sirius’ wet hair and tugging needily, and the other hanging limp at his side.

Sirius doubled his speed and pressure.

He could _taste_ that he was close, feel it in the incessant throbbing of his thick cock.

“Fuck!” James hissed, bucking forward.

Sirius smiled but didn’t stop.

James was writhing against the wall now, every muscle clenched tight, hissing curses under his breath, and then Sirius felt it; a blast of hot liquid hitting the back of his throat like a jet stream and catching him by surprise. He sputtered and pulled back, swallowing and trying to breathe.

_Holy shit!_

“I’m sorry!” James panted, now clasping his cock in his own hand and directing it towards the glass door, his milky-white cum spraying it down like a water hose.

And Sirius just watched in awe.

Another moment passed and James was _still_ releasing.

“I’m sorry,” James panted again, his chest heaving. He’d _finally_ stopped. He gripped hold of Sirius’ bicep and pulled him to standing. “I should have given you some more warning.”

And Sirius just stared at him; first, at his soaking wet, heaving body, and then at the cum still sliding down the glass door.

”That was the fucking hottest thing I think I’ve ever seen,” he said.

James chuckled, his abs shaking. “You’re a git,” he breathed, leaning his head back and closing his eyes.

“No, I’m _serious_. I’ve never seen you go that hard.”

“Well it felt too fucking good.”

And then James pulled him against his body, opening his legs wider. “And you’re just _exceptional_ at what you do,” he breathed, tilting Sirius’ chin up with his long finger.

Sirius melted against him, nearly dying, whilst his cock was pressed into his lower belly, throbbing for attention, and the next thing he felt was James’ hand, tenderly stroking it up and down as their mouths came together like magnets.

_Holy fucking shit._

And suddenly the tension snapped and he was spilling all over James’ abs like a waterfall, yet they never broke apart and James’ hand refused to let go of him, his thumb rubbing lazy circles over the tip of his head.

And the next thing he knew, his back was pressed to the wall and James’ tongue was threating to kill his last brain cell, his hands threatening to incinerate his skin.

The water turned cold, but they barely even noticed.

~~~

“Well, we did it,” Sirius said, now glassy-eyed and brain-dead, running a towel through his hair.

James just smirked next to him and pulled a clean shirt down over his abs, smelling like soap and sex and himself; it was a heady combination to say the least.

“Well, you know what they say,” James sighed. “Abstinence makes the dick grow harder.”

Sirius barked out a laugh. “Love, I think it’s _absence makes the heart grow fonder_ …But in your case, yeah, it was _definitely_ the dick.”

James chuckled and swiped his wet hair back from his face, water droplets staining the grey fabric of his Quidditch 1974 World Cup shirt that said, “Royston Idlewind & the Dissimulators: If you can’t blow, just go”; a cheeky tribute to the infamous match. “What can I say?” James said. “My dick is always hard without you.”

Sirius snickered, thinking he sounded like a particularly smutty greeting card. “You are _such_ a wanker.”

“Maybe if I’d _wanked_ more, I wouldn’t have nearly broken the shower door.”

Sirius stopped messing with his hair for a moment and turned towards him.

_Goddamn._

James in a ratty old t-shirt and faded blue jeans was _always_ too much.

But _this…_

“What have I been telling you?” he sniffed, trying to play it cool. “Give it a spank and avoid the angst.”

James laughed heartily and grabbed him round the waist, making him yelp. “Yeah, but I prefer _you_ to do the spanking…and I happen to _like_ angst.”

_Of course you do._

And Sirius turned to literal mush, like a brew gone yumpy (which he was quite familiar with given his tragically low marks in _Potions_ ). He gripped onto James’ firm biceps and squeezed, feeling so ridiculously lucky and grateful.

And as always, their lips found a way to each other, and the rest was history.

***

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ⭐️💫⭐️💫⭐️💫⭐️💫


	57. Nice Bones

***

~J~

It was flat hunting day and James was feeling both giddy _and_ peeved at the seemingly daunting task ahead of them. He prayed they’d have better luck than they did in Diagon Alley.

He and Sirius had just stepped outside the Leaky Cauldron and onto the bustling streets of Charing Cross Road, London, where Muggles were anxiously shoving this way and that, as if they had something extremely pressing to get to, and the smells of auto fumes and hot cross buns filled the crisp morning air. A horn honked loudly and he jolted.

_Is this hell?!_

“We should probably get a Muggle newspaper with flat listings,” Sirius said, leaning into his side and bringing him back to the present moment.

“Right, good idea,” he replied. “There’s some,” he said, pointing to a man standing by a little metal cart full of papers.

“Do you have the right kind of money?”

“Yeah, mum gave me some yesterday,” James replied, patting down his pocket.

After buying a paper and shoving through the crowds they found a vacant bench nestled away from the chaos and sat down.

James slid his glasses on and snapped the paper open, crossing an ankle over one knee. “Ooooh, here’s one that sounds promising,” he said excitedly. “ _A romantic two bedroom with a balcony_...” He nudged Sirius in the side and grinned.

“Romantic? That just means it’s _very_ close quarters...as in _tiny_ ,” Sirius scoffed, sticking his nose up in the air.

James pursed his lips. “Okay what about this: _A cute, remodeled flat with a park view_...”

“Cute? That just means it’s too small to even serve a purpose...like a teacup poodle or a _Puffskein_.”

James pulled the paper down from his face and turned to stare at him. “Since when did you become such an expert on _real estate_ terminology?”

“I dunno, I guess I just hear things…” Sirius said with a shrug, a slight smirk pulling at his lips.

James rolled his eyes. “Okay, this one on Baker’s Street says it has, ‘Nice bones’…” He did air quotes with his fingers. “Now what do you suppose _that_ means?”

“That the only thing even remotely redeemable about it is the fact that it’s still _standing_.”

James snorted. “Brilliant…”

But he wasn’t giving up just yet.

“Okay, this one says it’s a one bedroom with a ‘nice view’…”

“That just means it has a _window_ ,” Sirius said flatly.

James stared at him in amazement before barking out a laugh. “I think you missed your calling as a real estate agent, babe. Sure you still wanna go into the _junk_ business?”

Sirius grinned slyly, leaning back against the bench, his jean-clad thighs opening wider and his raven hair blowing in the breeze. “I’d much prefer enchanting junk over _selling houses_ to Muggles any day.”

James stared at him for a beat, suddenly mesmerized, his heart pounding harder and his mouth starting to water.

_Get a grip!_

He shook his head. There would be time to admire Sirius and his effortless sex-appeal _later_. Right now, they needed to find a bloody flat and STAT. “Alright,” he said, jumping up. “They all sound pretty fucking bleak so I say we just pick one. We know we won’t have a large budget, so we might as well start with the cheapest.”

“Right. Where to first?” Sirius asked, standing up alongside him and smoothing down his jeans.

“Shaftesbury Avenue.”

“What?!” Sirius squawked. “That’s way too posh! I’m not sure we _ever_ could afford something there...”

“Well, you know,” James said, lowering his voice and leaning down towards him, nearly getting tipsy off the scent of his aftershave, “if you’d let me pitch in a bit more, I think we _could_ …”

“No, I want it to be _even_. It’s only fair,” Sirius snipped, poking his chin out and closing his eyes, looking like some kind of adorable, defiant pixie. “You’re _always_ paying my way…”

“Look, it’s not _your_ fault your parents completely cut you off,” James said, gripping onto his bicep. “And besides, they’ve always withheld more from you than they should have…while _Regulus_ got whatever he fucking wanted…” he muttered.

Sirius opened his eyes and shot him a glare that could freeze water, his red lips pursing into a formidable thin line. “Can we _please_ not bring up the past, love?”

James swallowed hard and nodded his head, feeling thoroughly reprimanded. “Right. Okay, let’s go then,” he said, gripping hold of Sirius’ forearm and heading back into the flow of people.

“We’re gonna _walk_ there?” Sirius whined from behind him.

James smirked and glanced back over his shoulder. “Might as well do as the _Muggles_ do,” he said with a wink, tugging him along.

~~~

They were standing in front of a pub wedged between a decaying opera house on one side, and a secondhand book shop on the other, in the _least_ desirable area of Shaftesbury Avenue.

“This looks…uh…promising,” Sirius said, staring the building up and down with obvious disdain. “You really wanna live on top of a pub and next to a place that literally _pays_ Muggles to scream at the top of their lungs for entertainment?”

James chuckled and shook his head. “This was the only place even _close_ to our price range…And besides, I’m sure the walls are thick enough not to hear them. I’m sure it has _nice bones_ ,” he teased, nudging his side.

“Right.”

They entered through the pub, a dank, musty place reeking of alcohol and grubby men. James swallowed hard, feeling completely out of his element, and went straight to the barman, trying not to look too closely at the frightening array of characters surrounding them.

“Excuse me, erm, sir, I saw in the paper where the upstairs flat is for rent?”

“Yeh’,” the grizzly, bearded man said, narrowing his eyes and staring at him like he just might snap him in half and eat him for breakfast.

James gulped. “And I was wondering…erm…if we could…uh…maybe have a look…?”

The man looked at Sirius and then back at James, his bushy, unsightly eyebrows nearly covering his eyes.

“Alrigh’, follow me,” he said gruffly, setting down the glass he was polishing and leading the way.

James and Sirius exchanged apprehensive glances before following him out of the room. They quietly trudged up three flights of stairs and to the very top of the building where they came to a stop at a rather unbecoming wooden door; it was covered in deep scratches and off-putting stains.

_Is that blood?!_

“Here it is,” the man said, opening the door for them.

And James’ eyes widened at the sight.

_Holy shit!_

It was a horribly dank, one-roomed place that more resembled a _jail cell_ than it did a flat. There was a tiny, grimy kitchen area with a flickering light bulb hanging over the brown-stained sink and the dirtiest refrigerator he’d ever seen. In the corner there was what could only _barely_ be called a “bathroom” that smelled strongly of mildew and other unmentionable things. A giant rat suddenly ran across the filthy wooden floors and Sirius yelped, clutching onto his arm for safety. And if that wasn’t bad enough, the blaring sounds of badly out of tune opera music, and a woman belting notes unknown to the natural world at the top of her lungs, could be heard drifting through the paper-thin walls.

“Mmm,” James noised, trying to refrain from screaming like a banshee and running for his life. He walked around in a circle for a moment and then glanced at Sirius, whose fear-filled eyes were as round as marbles and as large as dinner plates. “Well, thank you for showing us, sir, but it’s not _exactly_ what we’re looking for…” he said, trying to remain calm, and then he nodded to the man and promptly yanked Sirius out the door, down the stairs, and all the way back outside and into the fresh air.

“I can breathe again!” he gasped as they exited out onto the street. “Ugh, that place _reeked_ …”

“Yeah, it was pretty awful,” Sirius said, his blue eyes still wide and glazed over. “And you said that was in the _high-end_ of our price range?”

“Yeah…it’s because of the location…Muggles bloody _love_ the theater.”

“Well, maybe we need to try farther out then, get something more decent...for a lower price.”

“I couldn’t agree more,” James panted, wiping his face with his shirt sleeve, desperately craving a shower.

“I mean, wherever we live, we’ll still be apparating to Diagon Alley every day…” Sirius said, shoving his hands in his pockets. “So it doesn’t really matter.”

“Exactly. Okay, let’s try this one in Kentish Town then,” James suggested. “But this time, let’s apparate.”

“Definitely,” Sirius agreed, a look of relief washing over him.

James pulled him into an alleyway and with a “pop” they were gone, only to suddenly reappear again behind an old, brown brick building.

“You’ve been here before?” Sirius asked.

“Yeah, I remembered this bookstore from a few years ago when I came here with mum and dad…” James said, rummaging in his pocket for something.

“Why’d you go to a _Muggle_ bookstore?”

“Because you _know_ how mum and dad are…” James sighed. “They love all things _Muggle_ and were collecting books on hair-care at the time.”

“So the flats on top of a book store?” Sirius mused, staring up at the building. “Well, at least it should be quieter than an _opera house_.”

“And it’s more _affordable_ , too,” James said, holding out a piece of chocolate candy for him.

Sirius stared at his hand, an incredulous expression crossing his face. “For me?”

“Mm-hmm. I don’t want you getting queasy on me.”

Sirius smiled and carefully took the piece of candy, staring at it as if it were a priceless gem. “Thank you,” he breathed.

James grinned and tugged him by the arm, “C’mon.”

_God, my man is easy to please._

They walked around to the front of the building and went inside, a little bell tinkling over the door as they opened it. They were instantly greeted by the smell of dusty old books and a cheerful, elderly woman with a white bun of hair piled atop her head and a pair of spectacles pulled down her nose who explained that she helped run the shop along with her husband. She was very sweet and also very hard of _hearing,_ but that didn’t seem to stop her from asking a million questions. After chatting for a few minutes she finally led them up to the apartment on the third floor.

“Here it is, dears, it’s not much, but it might be just what you’re looking for,” she said with a grin and a twinkle in her eye.

As soon as they stepped inside James instantly felt relieved. The first thing he noticed was the abundance of _light_. It was like the exact opposite from the place they’d just visited.

There were three rectangular windows that faced out onto the main street, flooding the room with a warm, yellow ambience and bringing the space to life. It had a distinct, homey, feeling and James instantly started to feel giddy.

_This is it._

_This is fucking it._

_Holy shit!_

The space was definitely _small_ , even for one person, but it was clean and there were no rats in sight and it didn’t smell of rot.

“It has good _bones_ ,” he said, gripping hold of the doorway into the tiny kitchen and tugging on the painted white trim.

Sirius smirked at him from across the room and shook his head. “And nice views, too,” he murmured, standing in front of one of the windows with his arms crossed.

“A romantic getaway…” James sighed, poking his head into the loo.

“Oh, do you two lads have sweethearts?” the elderly woman asked.

“Uh, well not at the _moment_ ,” Sirius said, shooting an anxious glance at James. “We’ve both got summer jobs and we’re just looking for a temporary place to live…”

“Well, we’re looking for clean, respectable tenants who pay the rent on time and don’t cause a raucous…or make a lot of _noise_ ,” she said. 

James instantly envisioned him and Sirius going at it loudly, banging the bed against the wall, shaking the dust from the rafters and bringing down the entire building. He flushed and pretended to be deeply interested in the peeling blue wallpaper in the living room.

“We could certainly abide by all of those rules,” Sirius said, sounding strangely mature. “We’ll be working most of the time, and on some weekends, we’ll be at _his_ family’s place, working at their bakery.”

“Very good,” the woman said with a nod of approval. “Well, I’ll give you two a moment to look around. “Let me know if you have any questions,” she said before shutting the door with a click.

As soon as she’d disappeared Sirius whipped around with a massive grin, “I like it!” he exclaimed.

“I do, too!” James said, rushing towards him and grabbing hold of the tops of his shoulders, buzzing like a live-wire but trying to contain himself. “I mean, it’s _tiny_ …”

“But _romantic_ ,” Sirius finished, his blue eyes sparkling.

James smirked down at him and licked his lips. “And that’s what’s most important.”

They smiled at each other for a moment and then broke apart, continuing to explore the room.

_Tiny_ was definitely the operative word. The flat had a minuscule bathroom that one person could barely fit into, much less two, with a porcelain, claw-footed tub and sink. The kitchen was functional enough with a small window, an ancient looking stove and sink and refrigerator. The bedroom was capable of holding a medium sized bed, and there was a small living area that could fit a couch and table. 

“I could really see us living here…” James mused, bending down to run his fingers over the weathered, hardwood floors.

“Me, too…But do you think we can afford it?”

“Yeah I think we can…and I can always cover it if it’s a bit over…”

There was silence.

James looked up to see Sirius, cocking a brow at him, his lips pursed into a frown.

He stood up and walked towards him. “I mean…we can make it work…we’ll figure it out. And don’t forget, we’ll get paid for working on the weekends, too.”

“When have your mum and dad _ever_ paid us?” Sirius asked, placing his hands on his hips.

“Well, they’re gonna have to start!” James said with a chuckle. “We’re in high demand!”

“Alright, let’s give it a go then,” Sirius said, his face lighting up.

They both grinned like idiots and went back downstairs, telling the woman that they definitely wanted it, even going so far as to putting down a deposit to guarantee their spot.

“Maybe we should explore the area a bit? See what we’re getting into,” Sirius said, after they’d walked back outside.

“Yeah, that’s probably a good idea, though, like I said, I _have_ been here before,” James grinned. It’s a nice place with pubs and shops and a park…Not that we’ll necessarily be hanging around here so much…but you never know.”

They made their way along Grafton Road and then a few streets over to a lush, green park.

“This was a much better choice than Shaftesbury Avenue,” Sirius said as they sat down on a bench. “Much quieter, not so many Muggles rushing about…”

“Yeah,” James said quietly, “this is a big change…”

“Hey, you’re not getting cold feet on me, are you, love?”

“Nah, I just can’t believe how fast all this is happening. It’s surreal. Jobs _and_ an apartment? And we haven’t even graduated school yet…It’s bizarre.”

“Well, it’s better to start now rather than later,” Sirius said with a heavy sigh. “I’d much rather learn to survive on my own _now_ …” he faded off. “Well, I mean, I don’t exactly have a choice, do I? But I wouldn’t _choose_ to stay at home anyway...even if it _were_ still an option.”

“True,” James said thoughtfully. “So I guess we’ll just move out of the flat at the end of the summer, then?”

“Well, I don’t suppose we’d be able to keep it…” Sirius said, stretching his legs out in front of him and crossing his ankles.

“Maybe mum and dad will want to hang onto it!” James said hopefully, turning towards him. “And then we could move back after graduation…”

Sirius chuckled. “You’re thinking far in advance, mate. Maybe we should just get through the _summer_ first and then we’ll see. We may find a place we like even better later…and surely we’ll have different jobs by then.”

“True,” James agreed, nodding his head. “Oh, I can’t wait to write Moony and tell him all about this! He’s gonna flip!”

Sirius smirked and swiped his hand back through his hair, flipping it over to the side. “We’ll definitely have to show him the place once we get settled.”

“Absolutely.”

They both went quiet for a moment and stared off into the distance, gazing out onto the rolling green hills, only the faint sounds of cars and birdsong filling the air. It really was a charming little park, even by wizard’s standards.

“Hungry?” James asked.

“Of course,” Sirius snickered. “Maybe we should try out the pub by the flat…”

“Good idea!”

***

~S~

They spent the rest of the day milling about, walking down cobblestoned streets and eating a lazy lunch at the pub named “Grafton’s” that was right by their flat, where the food was surprisingly good.

Finally, exhausted from their endeavors, they found a deserted alleyway and apparated back home.

There was a _pop_ and a scream and the sound of bags hitting the floor with a loud _thump_.

They opened their eyes to see Mrs. Potter, standing in the kitchen with a look of fury on her face, all of her grocery bags scattered around her feet.

“Sorry, mum,” James winced, and then they both scrambled to pick up the bags and set them on the counter for her.

“You two!” she huffed. “Maybe you should apparate in your _room_ from now on and stop giving me a bloody heart attack!”

“Okay,” James said sheepishly.

“So, how did it go? Any prospects?” she snapped, forcefully yanking a sack of potatoes out of a cloth grocery bag.

“Yeah, actually we did find something. We already put a deposit on it, in fact!”

“Really? Where?”

“In Kentish Town—a flat above a book shop on Grafton Road. It’s nice! Small, but…it has _nice bones_ ,” he said, biting his lip.

Sirius stared down at the floor, trying but failing to contain his soppy grin.

_God, he’s an idiot._

Euphemia narrowed her eyes and pursed her lips.

“You’d like it, mum, really! The bookstore is the same one we went to years ago when you and pop were looking for Muggle books on hair-care…There’s a really nice elderly couple that’s renting out the flat upstairs, they live right below it…there’s a great pub, too…we ate lunch there...”

“And there’s a lovely park!” Sirius said chiming in, determined to sell it for all it was worth. Having Mrs. Potter’s approval would make _everything_ go smoother.

Euphemia looked back and forth between them, a small smile creeping up her face. “Well, it sounds...nice…” she said. “Your father and I will have to go and see it.”

“Yeah, we want you to! And of course we’ll need furniture and stuff…” James said.

“But _we_ can get that,” Sirius said emphatically, shooting a pointed glance at James. “I think we should look at some second-hand shops…we don’t need much.”

“That’s a good idea, dear. There’s a shop in town you should look at.”

“Okay, we will!” James said beaming.

“Jobs _and_ a place to live…” Mrs. Potter said quietly, shaking her head, “I just can’t believe it…”

“Don’t worry, mum, we’re still coming home on the weekends—well _some_ of them at least—and we can work at the bakery…”

“That’s good, dear, but I still might need to hire more help during the week...”

“Isn’t that Susan girl still working there?”

Sirius’ eyes instantly flashed red, his top lip curling up into a full-on sneer. He was practically seething.

_Susan fucking Smith and her long blonde hair._

_That cow._

“Yes, but only part time…”

“Oh, well I’m sure it will all work out!”

Sirius yawned loudly and covered his mouth, more than ready to move on from the unsavory conversation. “I think it’s time for a rest,” he said sleepily, rubbing at his eyes.

“I agree,” James said. He kissed his mum on the cheek and they headed upstairs, their shoulders brushing together as they went.

“What a day,” Sirius sighed as James shut the door behind them.

“Yeah, I’m beat,” James said, kicking off his shoes and collapsing backwards onto his bed.

Sirius smiled at him fondly, his heart aching, and crawled up the bed and into his waiting arms. He’d been _desperate_ to touch him all day. He sprawled out on top of him, his head rested on his chest and his leg hooked over his hip, finally feeling at home.

_Fuck yes._

They both sighed contentedly, snuggling closer, and were just on the brink of sleep, when a loud, tapping noise came from James’ window.

_Shit._

***

~J~

“Bloody hell,” James groaned, scrunching his eyes shut tighter, praying he’d just _imagined_ the sound.

But it persisted.

He irritably pried himself out from under Sirius’ warm body and rolled off the bed. And when he got to the window he was surprised to find a small, coffee-colored owl waiting on the sill with a large cream-colored envelope held in its beak. “Thanks, mate,” he said, taking the letter. The bird hooted softly and continued to watch him, as if waiting for him to read it. He pulled the parchment out of the envelope and was immediately hit with the dizzying scent of coffee, making his head spin. It was from Trixie Mullingar, the woman who ran “The Enchanted Bean” coffee shop.

“Who’s it from?” Sirius asked sleepily, his arm slung over his face

“Trixie—she said I can start on Monday, five to two o’clock. Blimey…early mornings…” he muttered.

“Yeah, I figured they would be,” Sirius groaned, rolling over onto his side to look at him, “but at least you have the afternoons…”

“Right,” James said as he scribbled a reply, confirming he would be there. He placed the letter back in the bird’s mouth and watched, deep in thought, as it flew away. “And remind me again _why_ I’m doing this when I could just work at my parent’s bakery and not pay rent?” he asked, plopping back down on the bed and resting his hand on Sirius’ thigh.

Sirius stared up at him, his blue eyes irresistibly sleepy. “Because we need a change of scenery…because we’ll be right in the action and working with other wizards…and because we want to live together _alone_ and be independent—”

“Alright, _alright_ , I remember now,” James said peevishly, squeezing his thigh. “Just remind me of all that when I have to get up at the bloody crack of dawn five days a week.”

Sirius smirked and grabbed hold of his shirt, yanking him down close, “I will, love…I will…”

And as soon as their mouths came together James forgot all about early mornings and independence. He pushed Sirius back into the bed and crawled over top him, his heart pounding and his dick aching. Their tongues collided and everything went wonderfully warm and hazy, like a pint of hot Butterbeer, seeping into his bones.

_We can be adults tomorrow, babe._

_Right now, I just want you._

  
***

~J~

Unfortunately, tomorrow came too soon.

As in the _crack of dawn._

Sirius was determined to get all of their shopping done...

And James was trying to put on a brave face.

“Okay, so we’ll try the second-hand shop in town and if we don’t have any luck there…well, surely your mum knows of another place,” Sirius said with a huff as he pulled his jeans up his thighs and buttoned them. “I mean, how hard can it be to find _used_ furniture?”

“Well, we need a bed,” James said, trying to hide his goofy grin as he watched him get dressed, “a nightstand, a kitchen table and chairs, a couch, a coffee table…Oh, and pots and pans and utensils…”

“Blimey. That’s a lot…” Sirius said, chewing on his lip.

“Don’t worry…How about you let me take care of the furnishings and then you can cook all the meals?” James said with a hopeful grin.

“I’m not sure that’s even,” Sirius replied, looking up at him with a smirk, a piece of shaggy black hair falling over one of his blue eyes.

James’ breath caught in his chest as he stared at him. “Sure it is, just don’t try and slice any _carrots_ and we’ll be fine…” he said, sauntering towards him.

“I still have a scar from that, you know?” Sirius said poutily, holding up his hand.

James reached out and took it. “Which finger?”

“This one,” Sirius said, wiggling it in front of his face.

James brought it to his mouth and pressed his lips to the spot, holding there, feeling a warmth unfurl in his lower belly and spread outwards, his heart picking up speed. He flicked his eyes down to Sirius who was staring up at him in awe, his tempting, red lips slightly parted.

_Bloody hell._

James dropped the finger and grasped him by the nape of his neck, pulling him up against his body and crashing their lips together. They both hummed simultaneously, the exquisite sensation clearly mutual.

James slid his hands down to Sirius’ perfect arse, grabbing two handfuls and pulling him up and into his pelvis, feeling _heaven_. God, what was it about Sirius in _jeans_ that drove him so wild? Something about the texture on his body…something about the way they accentuated his thighs, his arse, his package...He either wanted him completely naked or in a pair of worn, old blue jeans. There really was no in-between.

“Prongs,” Sirius hissed between increasingly sloppy, needy kisses, “I’m gonna owe you for the rest of my life…”

James drug his mouth down to his slender throat and kissed at his throbbing pulse. “All I want _is_ your life,” he breathed. “So we’re even.”

Sirius whimpered and surged against him, finding his mouth again and kissing him with a surprising amount of passion, his arms wrapping fully around his neck and his heels lifting up off the ground

_God, babe..._

And James held him tight, like the precious thing that he was, meeting him desperate kiss for desperate kiss, only wishing he had more to give.

~~~

“What about this table?” Sirius asked, pointing to a shabby looking piece of furniture in need of a serious paint job.

“Mmm, it’s not quite what I was picturing,” James replied, staring at the thing with a frown.

_It’s hideous!_

“Well what exactly _were_ you picturing?”

“Maybe something metal…more modern? I dunno.”

“Well, I like an older, _rustic_ look…it’s more homey.”

“Oh, okay,” James said thoughtfully, twisting his mouth to the side. “Maybe we need to figure out our _style_ first…”

“Well, I thought we could get a few things that we could fix up _ourselves_ …” Sirius said. “Oh, and we definitely need to paint the walls in the flat…and decide on a color palette, too…but I guess we’d need to get rid of the wallpaper first…and that bathroom needs some serious TLC…” he prattled on, looking uncharacteristically animated.

And all James could think about was how much _work_ it all would be and all those early mornings he’d have at the coffee shop. He wished Sirius would just let him pay someone else to do everything and even buy _new_ furniture, too, but he also understood where Sirius was coming from. He wanted to create memories and build a home for them together…and he wasn’t about to deny him that.

“If this is the table you want, let’s get it!” he said with a smile.

“Really?”

“Yeah, I’m not really that picky, and it sounds like you have more of a design-flare than me anyway…”

“Well, I want you to like it, too…and give your input…This will be _our_ place, after all,” Sirius said, moving towards him.

“I know,” James said, “and I trust your judgment. I’ll even paint the table.”

Sirius beamed up at him, his sapphire eyes shining and his gorgeous face practically glowing, and James was instantly struck dumb. His heart throbbed and his pulse quickened and he desperately wanted to grab hold of him and kiss him, right then and there in the middle of the second-hand shop full of Muggles, shove him up against a shelf full of ceramic garden gnomes, and worship the crap out of him, but he resisted, though not without a great deal of effort. “I’ll paint _everything_ if it makes you this happy,” he said, his voice coming out deep and husky as he leaned in closer, watching the way Sirius’ mouth fell open slightly and his breathing faltered.

_Dear god!_

“I just might hold you to it,” Sirius said, a sexy smirk sliding up his face and stopping James’ heart yet again. And then he wandered over to a stack of old kitchen chairs, trailing his elegant fingers along the backs of them, not having a damn clue how bloody perfect he was.

James just watched him, utterly mesmerized.

_I’ll do anything if it’ll make you happy, babe..._

_Anything at all._

***

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 🏠🌟🏠🌟🏠🌟🏠🌟🏠


	58. One Last Thing

***

~J~

Thank _Merlin_ their shopping day had been a success.

They ended up with a kitchen table, three metal chairs, a bed, a couch, a lamp, a few pots and pans and a coffee table, which they loaded up into Mrs. Potter’s car, with the help of a bit of _magic_ , of course, and then drove to the hardware store to get paint and supplies because Sirius _insisted_ they do their refurbishing the _Muggle_ way.

“So are we gonna drive all this to the flat or can we just apparate it there?” Sirius asked as they were pulling into the drive of his parent’s house.

“I’m not sure we can _apparate_ large objects,” James said frowning. “I’ll have to ask mum. But it may be better to drive it there and unload it, so the Muggles don’t wonder how we go it all into the apartment in the first place…”

“True. They seem like the types that would keep a sharp eye on things…”

“Yes, but let’s just hope their _hearing_ isn’t as sharp,” James said with a wink.

Sirius stared at him, a devilish smirk spreading across his gorgeous face. “Well, we already know the woman is practically _deaf_ , so let’s just hope her _husband_ is, too.”

“Exactly,” James said, turning off the car and grinning.

_Otherwise, we’re gonna need one helluva good silencing spell._

***

~S~

They were up in James’ room, making a list of all the things they still needed for the flat, when there was a large _thump_ against the windowpane. Sirius jumped up and went towards it, furrowing his brows when he saw a small, black bat, sitting on the sill and holding a piece of parchment in its mouth. He opened the window and warily took the piece of paper from the creature.

“What is it?” James asked, getting up from the bed and coming over to him.

“Erm…It’s a bat…”

“A bat?”

“Yeah, a bat with a letter…” Sirius replied, opening the piece of paper as the small, beady-eyed creature stared shrewdly up at him. It sat hunched on its leathery wings, a tuft of black hair sticking up on its small head like a feather. “Oh, it’s from Errol,” he said, suddenly relieved. “The junk shop chap…and he says I can start on Monday…and wow, I guess his business does better than I thought…the pay is pretty decent.”

“Lemme see that,” James said, snatching the paper out of his hands. “Hmm, yeah, not bad at all…Who knew the junk biz was so lucrative? Hey, maybe we could try for a better flat now!”

Sirius snatched the letter back from him with a huff. “The one we chose is _perfect_ ,” he snapped.

“I just meant—”

“I _know_ what you _meant_ …but I think it’s _perfect_ and it’ll be good for you—I mean _us,_ to live like that…”

He scribbled his reply on the paper and gingerly handed it back to the bat, afraid it might bite his finger off, but the creature carefully took the note and flew away.

“Babe,” James said, stepping closer and gripping onto his biceps, “I _am_ happy with our place. _Truly_. And I think it’ll be an adventure…”

“But?” Sirius asked, gazing up at him, his eyes narrowing to slits.

“But, no buts…” James said, starting to grin. “It’s perfect.”

“Are we talking about the apartment or my _arse_?” Sirius chuckled, his blue eyes twinkling.

James snorted, moving even closer. “Your arse, always your arse,” he said, tipping Sirius’ chin back with his finger.

***

~S~

It was the day before moving day and Sirius was chomping at the bit.

And not because they were about to embark on a very new, and albeit, _slightly_ _scary_ , adventure…

But because there was something that he just _had_ to do…

Something he’d wanted to do for a _very_ long time.

But he wasn’t sure how to make it happen.

He and James were in their room, packing up a few last-minute things (they’d decided to only take what they _absolutely_ needed and leave everything else at the Potter’s house) and he was struggling to find a way to broach the subject.

He cleared his throat.

“Erm…”

“Yeah?” James said, knee-deep in a pile of socks and underwear.

Sirius swallowed hard, trying to pull the words up.

_Why is this so bloody hard?!_

Now James was full-on staring at him, his green eyes narrowed, probing.

_Shit._

“Before we move…uh...there’s something I wanna do,” Sirius choked out.

“What?”

He fiddled with the white drawstring on a pair of grey shorts in his hands.

“Erm…”

_Here goes._

“I wanna _do it_ …in here…at least one time.”

There was silence.

He flicked his eyes up, wincing slightly, only to see James and a ridiculous, goofy grin spreading up his gorgeous face.

_God._

“Really?”

“Yep.”

James moved over to him, faster than lightening, kicking socks and underwear across the room. “But how?” he asked, plopping down next to him and crossing his legs, suddenly looking twelve years old again and eager to pull a nasty prank on Snivellus.

“Well, that’s where _you_ come in,” Sirius breathed. “You have _two_ jobs. One…is to get _lube_ …and the other…is to find a way to get your parents out of the house for tonight...”

And he could practically _feel_ the wheels turning in James’ brain.

_Maybe he’s thinking it will never work…_

“Maybe—"

“Okay,” James said, cutting him off, and there was that determined, unstoppable edge to his voice. The one he got right before a Quidditch match, or right before doing something completely certifiable that Sirius had merely suggested on a whim. The type of thing that usually ended in disaster. Maybe this was one of those moments…But then again, when James was determined, he could literally move _mountains_...and it seemed like right now, that’s what it would take.

_In this case, Mrs. Potter is the mountain and being fucked is the prize..._

“You think you can do it?” he asked, turning towards him.

“With your arse on the line? Absolutely.”

Sirius stared at him for a beat and then they both started laughing.

“Git.”

“Hey! I’m just doing what you asked.”

Sirius scoffed. “Like there’s _nothing_ in it for you?”

James flushed and bit down on his lip.

“That’s what I thought.”

“Okay so what _exactly_ is the plan then?” James asked. “I get the lube, get rid of my parents…and then what? We bang?”

Sirius squirmed, “Well, actually, I was thinking of something a little more _specific_.”

James leaned in closer. “Like what?”

_Dear god I’m gonna have to spell it out for him…_

“Well…I’ve always kind of had this fantasy…of us doing it in here…” he swallowed, “on your bed…and…”

“And what?”

“And…you’re in your _Quidditch_ uniform...and...Irideyoulikeabroom,” he rushed.

James sucked in an inhale that could be heard round the world.

_Oh god._

_Just shoot me._

“I…I think I can make that happen,” James finally breathed.

Sirius whipped his head around to look at him.

“Really?! You mean, you don’t think it’s _crazy_?”

James gripped the back of his neck and squeezed, giving him a lopsided grin. “Baby, you know I’ve wanted to fuck you in here ever since we got together.”

Sirius gulped, his heart raging.

“But now I’ll admit, I haven’t thought about the whole _Quidditch uniform_ thing…I just always pictured you naked…”

Sirius blushed crimson.

“But I really like your idea…In fact, it gives me some of my own.”

“Like what?”

James chuckled, the sound deep and thrilling. “We might have to indulge those later,” he said, sliding his hand down his shoulder and then gripping onto his thigh. “Tonight, it’ll be about making _your_ fantasy come true.”

Sirius blushed yet again and licked his lips, suddenly feeling like melting into the floor. Why was admitting what he wanted so damn hard? Why did he still get so embarrassed about it? It was _James_ for godssakes…the only person to ever have his fingers up his arse, much less his _dick_ …Not to mention the fact that he’d literally seen him at his absolute worst…sick, crazy, violent, jealous…horny as hell and everything in between. This shouldn’t be so hard.

“I’ve never bought lube in my life,” James said, sitting up straighter and jutting out his chin, as if making some kind of important declaration. “But have no fear. I will be _victorious_!” he bellowed, pumping a fist in the air.

Sirius snickered, suddenly feeling ridiculously relieved. “Well, we’re gonna have to start buying the stuff anyway, so we might as well get used to it. And what about your parents? Any idea how to get rid of them for a couple hours?”

“Hours?” James said, a devious smirk sliding up his face.

“Yes, _hours_. I’d rather not take any chances.”

“Mm-hmm,” James noised, looking like he were about to laugh. “I’ll have a think on it,” he said, tapping his finger to his lips, and then he grabbed the front of Sirius’ shirt and yanked him closer. “This is going to be fun,” he breathed before smashing their lips together.

And when he pulled back, Sirius just stared at him, glossy-eyed and foggy-brained, his heart doubling in speed.

_You have no idea._

***

~J~

How hard could it be to buy lube?

People did it all the time…Muggles and wizards alike. Well, maybe the wizards had a way to conjure the stuff, actually…

_Maybe I should have thought of that first..._

But it was too late now.

Because _hell_ _no_ would he ever ask his parent’s how, and _double_ _hell no_ would he ever put anything his father had made on his dick ever again. He’d learned that lesson the hard way.

For now, he would just have to do it the Muggle’s way.

_No big deal._

Just go to the store, find some lube, buy it, and _boom_ , task number one—done and done.

At least that’s what he kept _telling_ himself after he’d apparated to town and was walking the short distance to the general store. Sirius had opted to stay home and finish their packing, and suddenly, James wondered why Sirius was making _him_ do this. Was it some kind of test? Or maybe in his fantasy he’d always imagined _James_ buying the lube.

_That would be a weird detail for a fantasy, though._

_But then again, he has been known to have some pretty far out ideas…_

James shook his head.

He entered the shop, getting a friendly “hullo,” from the owner, and said “hullo” back, already darting his eyes this way and that, trying to find an aisle labeled “lube” or at least “sex products.” But he couldn’t find anything. He wandered down every single aisle, searching and searching, the panic starting to rise, until finally, he found himself in the “toiletries” section and was staring at what felt like a million packs of condoms. He gulped. At least that was something they _didn’t_ have to worry about.

And then his eyes landed on a small purple box decorated with stars.

He picked it up and stared at it.

_Lubrication…unscented…etc…For all your sensual needs..._

He sighed.

_Thank, Merlin._

Okay, now that he’d found it, all he had to do was _buy_ it.

Once again, no big deal.

He flicked his eyes up to the check-out and saw the elderly man standing behind the cash register, staring right back at him.

_Holy shit!_

He nearly jumped out of his skin.

Why did he suddenly feel so hot? And like the walls were closing in on him? Like he just might drown in a pile of condoms and lube?!

He swallowed hard and started walking forward, only spurred on by his sheer desire to accomplish the task.

Because James Potter never gave up.

Not in a Quidditch match and _definitely_ not when buying lube.

And suddenly, he realized _exactly_ why Sirius had made him do this.

_That little fucker._

_I’ll kill him!_

Because no teenage boy in his right mind actually _wanted_ to purchase lube.

And especially not from a _local_ shop…or from an _elderly_ man…who knew _exactly_ who they were… _exactly_ who their _parents_ were.

_Oh god._

_Shit, shit, shit, shit, shit…_

He grabbed a basket and started hastily filling it up with mini bags of crisps. Yes, that would definitely help to conceal the lube. A pile of crisps and one teeny, tiny, insignificant, _inconsequential_ , bottle of lube, just stuck in the mix. No one would even notice. And definitely not this elderly and possibly ( _hopefully_ ) blind, cashier.

He walked to the front of the store as if marching to battle and set the basket down on the counter, holding his breath as he did.

“Hullo!” the man said, his tone irritatingly cheery.

 _Now_ _is not the time for pleasantries, old man! Just don’t look at the lube!_

“Will this be all?”

“Yes,” James replied, his voice cracking slightly, trying his best to avoid direct eye contact.

_Just HURRY up, will you!_

_Fuck!_

And then the man said the absolute worst thing possible.

“How are your folks doing? I haven’t seen them in a while.”

James felt strangled, his stomach twisting in knots, his life flashing before his very eyes as he watched the man take the last bag of crisps out of the basket and reach for the lube.

_ARRRGGGHHH!_

“They’re great,” he choked out, closing his eyes and rocking back on his heels. “Just been busy.”

And unfortunately, he chose the exact wrong moment to open his eyes. The man was holding up the box of lube, a mere inch from his face, trying to find the price.

_Jesus fucking CHRIST!_

He then dropped the box into the bag without batting an eye.

After quickly paying, James bolted outside.

_I’m gonna bloody KILL him!_

He stomped back to the alleyway from which he’d first apparated, bag in hand, ready to explode. And when he popped back into his bedroom, he found Sirius, still sitting on a pile of clothes.

“That was fast!”

James just stood there, his jaw clenched, his face beet red and his heart going a million miles an hour.

Sirius stared at him, wide-eyed and innocent.

“Here,” James said, holding out the bag.

Sirius furrowed his brows and took it from him, dumping the contents out on the floor.

“Oh my god…why did you get so many bags of crisps?”

“Because it was either that, or _die_ ,” James said through gritted teeth.

Sirius looked up at him with a dumbfounded expression. “This is just like with the Room, innit? Except in this case, it’s reversed…fifty bags of crisps and _one_ bottle of lube,” he murmured.

“I’m gonna _kill_ you!” James screeched, lunging for him and throwing him back onto the pile of clothes.

And much to his surprise, Sirius started laughing hysterically, writhing underneath him like a damn fiend.

“I’m serious!”

“Love, love…” Sirius panted, running his hands up and down his sides. “I’ll make it up to you…I _promise_. Tonight will be worth it.”

James softened slightly and exhaled, feeling the tiniest bit placated. “You better,” he grumbled. “Because I’m not sure I can _ever_ get back my pride.”

Sirius chuckled and reached up, cupping his face between his hands and rubbing his thumbs across his cheekbones. “Thank you for getting it,” he said. “That was _very_ brave.”

James softened a little more and pulled back with a huff, sitting on his haunches and pursing his lips. “Well, I’m nothing if not brave,” he muttered.

“Exactly,” Sirius said, pushing himself up from underneath him and resting on his elbows. “And that’s why I _knew_ you could handle it.”

James smirked slightly, secretly lapping up the praise.

Sirius sat up and gripped onto the front of his shirt, tugging him down closer, “You’re so… _so_ brave,” he crooned, his irresistible, parted lips reeling him in. And James was powerless to resist, his words going straight to his dick.

_Sweet Jesus._

He smashed their lips together and pushed him back into the pile of clothes.

***

~S~

Task number one was complete.

Now, all James had to do was figure out the parental situation, which he was currently working on whilst Sirius continued to pack.

He sighed as he folded yet _another_ designer jumper.

 _Of course_ James would insist on bringing all of his posh clothes with them, though exactly _where_ he was going to wear them all, Sirius wasn’t sure. They weren’t exactly the sort of thing you’d wear whilst working at a coffee shop.

_There’s like a hundred…I swear…_

He’d just finished folding the last one when James came bursting back into the room, like a bogart popping out of a cabinet. “I did it!” he said proudly, beaming from ear to ear, his dimples popping and his black glasses slightly askew.

“What?”

“I got tickets!”

“For what?”

“Some play called Les Misérables.”

Sirius wrinkled his nose. “Sounds terrible.”

“Yeah, well who the fuck cares? Mum and dad are going and that’s all that matters!”

“Do _they_ know yet?”

“No, but they will. I’m gonna go tell mum now.”

“And what’s your excuse?”

“That it’s a _thank you_ gift for all the help they’ve given us with the move…”

“You think they’ll buy it?”

“Well, they’re gonna have to! I didn’t buy that goddamn lube for nothing! And like it or not, you’re gonna get fucked tonight!”

Sirius sputtered and rushed towards him, clamping a hand over his mouth. “Would you keep it _down!_ _God!_ The whole bloody neighborhood is gonna hear you. And why wouldn’t I _like_ it?”

James shrugged. “I dunno, it just sounded good.”

Sirius snorted and shook his head.

***

~J~

It was done.

Everything was taken care of.

Yes, his mum protested about seeing the play, and not just because the title sounded terrible (because who in their right fucking mind would wanna watch something called “The Miserable?”) but because she said she wanted to spend their _last_ night at home with them as a family. He avidly assured her they’d come back _often_ and also that he _really_ didn’t want to make their move some kind of emotional, soppy affair. He gave her his best, pleading, puppy-dog eyes, and then she finally caved. She and his pop would be gone for at least three hours that night, giving them plenty of time to bang it out and do god-knows-what-else.

“It’s done!” he said, barging back into their room, surprised to see the floor visible again and everything neatly packed away in suitcases.

“Really?” Sirius asked, emerging from the loo.

“Yep.”

“Wow.”

“Surprised?”

“ _Impressed_ ,” Sirius said, walking towards him and reaching out, hooking his fingers into the front of his jeans and tugging him forward. “You never cease to amaze me,” he crooned. And James melted yet again.

Was Sirius somehow realizing that a little bit of sweet talk, a little bit of praise, was literally all it took to make him crumble? Because if he ever did realize it, he’d _always_ get his way.

“Well, I do like to keep my fans on their toes,” James said with a shrug, trying not to grin.

Sirius snapped their groins together, squeezing onto his hips. “And I’m your _biggest_ fan,” he sighed, staring up into his eyes.

_Oh dear god._

_No._

James swallowed hard.

“Babe, save it for tonight, or I’m gonna explode.”

Sirius smirked slyly and ran his hands up his chest, pressing his palms against his pecs. “Okay,” he said, “I’ll save it for tonight.”

James gulped, praying he would still be alive by then.

***

~S~

Sirius was sitting on the edge of James’ bed, his heart pounding, his insides writhing, his palms starting to sweat.

Was he ready for this?

Were _they_ ready for this?

He glanced at James’ nightstand.

There was the lube.

He took a deep inhale through his nose and then breathed out through his nose, letting the air out slowly.

Because now was _not_ the time to hyperventilate.

In fact, if he were ever to lose consciousness, now would probably be the _worst_ , most unfortunate, most regrettable, time ever. He’d rather plunge a hundred feet off his broom, break a few bones and black out, than pass out _right now_.

Because tonight…and any moment, actually, he and James were going to _fuck_.

After what felt like a _thousand_ years of abstinence.

And just like how he’d always imagined…since he was _thirteen,_ in fact, and sleeping in the twin bed next to James’, his little heart pounding like a drum, and his inexperienced cock throbbing up a storm; everything inside of him absolutely _desperate_ for the boy with the green eyes and curly hair.

He’d certainly imagined a great deal of scenarios over the years, but most if not all of them seemed to involve James in his Quidditch uniform…probably because seeing him in it always took his hornyness to unfathomable levels…And James’ _bedroom_ represented their most intimate connection…and all the summers and holidays he’d spent there, just the two of them.

So actually fulfilling this long-held fantasy, felt like some kind of poignant moment…

_Maybe I should have gotten some champagne..._

A noise came from the bathroom and he jolted, nearly leaping out of his skin.

James was in there, “getting dressed.”

But what was taking so bloody long?!

_Dear god…_

The wait alone was enough to make him nearly pass out.

And then the door suddenly flew open and—

_Holy FUCKING shit._

James was just standing there...

Wearing his entire Quidditch uniform.

His _entire_ uniform.

As in, boots, pants, jersey…

As in, a literal _Quidditch god_ decked out in crimson, white, and gold.

_A fucking dream._

Sirius gaped, not sure if he was dead or alive.

Because James in that get-up was always deadly…but _now_ …

_Those pants…_

_His thighs!_

He just stared at his package, his eyes glued to the spot, saliva building on his tongue.

“They’re fucking tight!” James barked, walking towards him and adjusting himself, his boots pounding on the hardwood floor with each step. “I could barely zip them up!”

And Sirius just continued to stare, his brain officially fried.

“Obviously I’m gonna have to get a larger size for next season,” James said thoughtfully, as if him prancing around in his uniform, in his _bedroom_ , was nothing out of the norm. Well, technically, it _wasn’t_. He was, _I-live-for-the-limelight-and-will-do-anything-to-get-it-James-Potter_ , after all.

Sirius swallowed hard, trying to find enough brain cells to form a coherent sentence, but he was pretty sure they were all long dead and buried, along with any sort of willpower he might have. “They look…good,” he breathed. “You look…good.”

James snorted and walked closer, reaching his hand out and tilting his chin up with his pointer finger.

“Now why don’t you take it all off me?” he purred.

_Holy shit!_

Sirius’ heart stuttered. _Everything_ stuttered. He blinked rapidly and then bent down slowly, kneeling on the floor, and grasped hold of one of James’ knee-high boots, pulling at the laces. He undid them in a daze and tugged the boot off, staring up at him and licking his lips. _Is this real?!_ James smirked down at him like the devil and cocked a brow.

_Oh god, oh god, oh GOD!_

He went for the other boot, a little bit faster, a little more desperately, tugging it off and setting it aside. He glanced up again, his eyes going straight to James’ bulge and holding there.

James was _hard_.

_So wonderfully hard._

He clasped onto the backs of his calves and squeezed, the feel of the soft, stretchy, white fabric under his fingers almost more than he could bear. How many bloody years had he wanted this?! To get his hands on James Potter…in _this_ outfit…in _this_ room…

He suddenly felt thirteen again. Just as desperate and just as inept.

Slowly, he pulled himself up to standing, dragging his hands up James’ muscular thighs, until he was grasping onto his hipbones, ready to ignite. James stared down at him, his half-lidded eyes already dripping with lust, his breathing already shallow. He was obviously turned on and it was _such_ a fucking relief.

_Thank god._

_Maybe this won’t be so hard…_

Sirius slipped his arms around his waist and slid his hands down to his arse, squeezing two glorious handfuls, the tightness of the pants, the texture, simply maddening. “Kiss me,” he whined, running his hands over every inch of his backside. James made a noise and went for his mouth, nearly knocking him backwards and off his feet. Sirius grunted and continued to paw at him, pulling their groins together and practically rutting against him. He went for the hem of James’ jersey and started yanking it out of his pants, his fingers grazing hot skin, his heart going a hundred miles an hour. He was sliding it up his sides in a hurry and James rushed to help him.

And then he pulled back, panting wildly, and stared up at him with hungry eyes. “Fuck,” he breathed.

Because the whole scenario…

James in those pants…shirtless…barefoot…just standing there…ripe for the taking.

It was too much.

_Too fucking much._

He let out a pitiful whine.

And James crashed against him, taking his breath away.

_Oh god…_

Their mouths collided and everything went hazy.

James pushed him back onto the bed, crawling up his body and hovering over him, a knee balanced on each side of his thighs. “Tell me what you want,” he breathed, his bare chest heaving.

Sirius’ heart stopped.

Because really?

_Really?!_

_Is this fucking real?!_

“I wanna touch you,” he murmured, going for his mouth again, squeezing his arse tight and grinding up against him.

James groaned, his hot, velvet tongue licking against his own.

Sirius slipped his hand between them and grabbed hold of his bulge.

“Babe!” James yelped, jolting under his touch and gasping for air. “You’re gonna _kill_ me,” he whined.

Sirius stroked him again and then went for his top button, trying to get inside.

James batted his hand away and yanked down his pants, wriggling out of them and kicking them off as well as his briefs. “I don’t think I’ll ever be able to get those on again,” he chuckled.

But Sirius barely heard him.

He went for his own clothes like a crazy person, tugging and stretching and trying to break free, like he’d die if his bare skin wasn’t pressed again James’ in a matter of seconds.

“Hang on, babe,” James said, “let me—” and he unbuttoned Sirius’ jeans and yanked them down his thighs. He pulled his briefs down with a hiss and then their bodies slammed together.

“I _need_ you…” Sirius panted between sloppy, desperate kisses, his body on fire.

“I’m _here_ ,” James growled, licking into his mouth and pinning him to the bed, their bare chests pressing together.

And Sirius was one lick away from explosion. “Wait,” he panted, “we need to…” he struggled, because James’ hot, heavy, very _naked_ body planted on top of him was making everything wonderfully difficult. “Get the _lube_ ,” he whined.

James exhaled and pulled back, reaching his arm out and straining towards the nightstand. “Got it,” he panted. “Now what?”

Sirius grasped onto his swollen biceps, still trying to breathe. “Finger me.”

And before he could even flush with embarrassment about his blatant sexual demand, James had flipped him over onto his stomach, popped open the bottle of lube, and shoved one finger inside him.

“Ahhhh!” Sirius cried out, burying his face into the comforter.

Because when it came to James’ fingers…

There were simply no words.

He clenched around him, everything going painfully tight.

“Relax for me, baby,” James purred.

“Urgh!” Sirius noised, exhaling hard and clenching even tighter.

Because how could he _not_ fucking clench when James said things like that?!

_Jesus Christ._

He exhaled hard again, trying to relax.

“Good, baby...So good.”

_Okay._

_I’m gonna die._

Did James have _any_ fucking clue what an insane turn on it was when he talked like that?!

_Fuck, fuck, fuck._

Another finger went inside.

_Shit, shit, shit._

He rubbed him slowly, _torturously_ …but with expertise.

_He’s a master finger-fucking—_

“ARGH!”

James’ finger had just brushed against his prostate.

“FUCK!”

Sirius grasped handfuls of the bedspread and screamed into the mattress.

He was practically _crying_.

And James just continued to torture him, the slick sound of his lubed up fingers…the feel of him rubbing and rubbing and rubbing… _right there_ …Hitting that sweet spot every time.

_Oh god._

_Oh GOD!_

James gave the term “arse on fire” a whole new meaning…because his arse was currently _flaming_ …burning…sweltering… _aching_ …and if he didn’t get a dick inside it soon, he was pretty sure he might die.

“Need you…” he whined, his body shuddering hard as James pumped him with precision…his lithe fingers moving in and out to a delicious rhythm, making his head spin.

Quick to obey his orders, James pulled out abruptly and Sirius nearly screamed yet again, desperate for the fullness and the friction.

“Hang on,” James said, and he could hear him squirting out more lube.

_Hurry, hurry, HURRY!_

“Wait!” Sirius hissed. “Up on the bed.”

“Huh?”

“Scoot up on the bed!”

“Huh?”

Sirius lifted his head up, about one second away from losing his shit. “Sit against the fucking headboard!” he croaked.

“Oh.”

And then he felt James, scrambling to crawl up and over him, the bed dipping under his weight as he did.

“Get your fucking dick ready…because I’m _coming_ ,” Sirius growled, pressing up on his elbows, probably looking like some kind of Kelpie, about to drag its poor victim into the water.

He crawled up and in between James’ open thighs, feeling like an exposed nerve, ready to go up in flames, and then he saw James’ massive dick, pink and swollen and right in his face.

_SHIT!_

_There’s NO time!_

He was on a mission…and one perfect, massive, dick in his face was _not_ gonna stop him.

“What’re we—” he heard James start to say, grabbing hold of his biceps and pulling him forwards and into his lap.

Their dicks crashed together and they both groaned.

_Will I survive this?_

He really wasn’t sure.

“I’m gonna…ride…your dick…now,” he breathed, clasping onto the tops of James’ broad shoulders and squeezing tight.

James just stared at him, an incredulous look in his green eyes.

“Now, _help_ me,” Sirius hissed, gripping his shoulders tighter and lifting up on his knees.

James made a noise and grabbed hold of his own lubed-up cock, positioning it underneath him.

Sirius swallowed hard and licked his lips, trying to get his bearings, before slowly, carefully, lowering himself back down.

_I can do this…we can do this…_

_Mother of GOD!_

James’ dick was now sliding inside him.

They both gasped and hissed.

_Oh god…right there…right fucking there…_

_Yes, yes, yes…_

He continued lowering himself down, his heart pounding, his body aching, as he took in James’ entire length.

The heat, the lubrication, the burn, the pressure, it was almost more than he could stand.

It hurt, but it hurt _good_.

He arched his back and scrunched his eyes shut, waves of pleasure already washing over him.

“Why have we never done it like this before?” James asked, his voice strained and raspy, his hands squeezing his sides.

“Because we’re _idiots_ ,” Sirius said, tilting his head forward and opening his eyes.

Because truly, they were.

Every time they’d shagged, James had come at him from behind. Whether standing or on the bed…and it was great and it was wonderful and it was mind-blowingly-amazing…but _this_ …

This was another level entirely.

Who wouldn’t wanna be fucked by James Potter _and_ get to stare at his gorgeous face the entire time?

He dug his fingers into James’ sweaty curls and then kissed his lips, nearly cumming from just his taste. He pulled back and James whimpered for more. “Now let’s fuck,” he breathed, raising up on his knees. He could feel James’ dick start to slide out of him, and then he sat back down, taking in his length.

“Oh my _GOD!_ ” James hissed, throwing his head back against the bed and scrunching his eyes shut, every one of his ripped muscles clenching tight.

And Sirius just stared at him, the sight almost more than he could stand.

And it only took them a few tries to find that perfect, painful rhythm. The one that he knew he would dream about for the rest of his life. James thrusting upwards just as he would slam down. Together and apart, together and apart. They were moving like a well-oiled machine now, curses flying and the headboard banging against the wall.

“Harder, baby!” James hissed.

Sirius grunted and slammed down with as much force as he could muster, James’ dick of steel colliding with his prostate.

“FUCK!” they both yelped.

_Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god…_

_Oh look, stars._

He nearly blacked out.

“Baby,” James panted, his large, hot hands groping at his bare stomach, his back, his hips. “I can’t hold on much longer…I can’t…”

“I know,” Sirius whined, everything building to a crescendo and clenching deliciously tight.

James tilted his head back, his eyes scrunched shut, his breathing labored, and Sirius went for his open mouth like an animal, suddenly desperate to taste him. Their tongues crashed together as he continued to bear down on him, James’ rock-hard dick meeting him desperate thrust for desperate thrust.

_Yes…yes…yes…_

“Is it everything you dreamed?” James panted, pressing his palms into his sweaty back and dragging his fingers down his spine.

And Sirius had to think hard for a moment to understand his meaning.

_Everything I dreamed?_

_What kind of question is that?_

And then he blinked, looking around, suddenly recalling his fantasy. He was surrounded by _James_ ’ Quidditch crap, in _James’_ room, on _James’_ bed…being fucked by _James_ in the shrine of _James_ , on the altar of _James_ …

Yes, it was a dream come true.

A fucking fantasy fulfilled.

“So much better,” he slurred before going for his mouth again, their lips crashing hungrily together.

“Are you ready to cum?” James panted against his lips.

“Yes,” he breathed, just right on the verge.

They moved together slowly, both moaning quietly with each thrust, and then gradually picked up the pace, building, building, building to an unbearable ache.

_Right there…_

_Right there…_

_Right there—_

And then James grasped onto his hips and slammed him down hard onto his dick, annihilating his last bit of restraint.

They both cried out and gripped onto each other tight, riding out the static waves of pleasure.

And suddenly he was spilling all over James’ chest, his cum dripping down his pecs, sliding down his heaving sides.

And James’ was claiming him from the inside.

_Oh…oh...oh…_

Sirius clenched around him and moaned, a massive shudder sweeping over his body as he continued to let go.

Time slowed down and stars danced before his eyes.

_Holy shit…_

_Holy shit..._

_Am I alive?_

“Oh my god,” James breathed. “Oh _my_ _GOD_.”

“I know,” Sirius gasped, dropping his forehead onto his sweaty shoulder, his entire body going utterly slack.

James wrapped his arms around his back, tugging him up and forward, and Sirius let out a whine, still not ready to get off his cock. “Jus’ a little longer,” he slurred, wrapping his arms around his neck.

“Whatever you want, baby.”

Sirius grunted and continued to breathe, his heart still racing and the heady, addictive smell of a cum-smothered James flooding his brain.

Everything was warm and wonderful and hazy.

_Better than a dream..._

He sleepily nuzzled his nose against James’ sweaty curls and pressed his mouth to his ear. “Thank you,” he breathed.

James tensed slightly and then hugged him tight. “Baby…I _love_ you,” he crooned. “So _fucking_ much.”

Sirius sucked in a shaky inhale and pulled back to stare at him, clasping his face between his hands. “I love you, too.”

James swallowed and licked his lips, his half-lidded eyes still filled with lust. “And also…just for the record…that was _so_ _fucking_ _hot_.”

Sirius snorted and started to grin. “I’d have to agree.”

They stared at each other for a beat and then he leaned forward and kissed James’ swollen lips. Softly, _gratefully_ , worshipfully.

And it wasn’t until his legs were completely numb and his body was begging for relief, that he finally lifted up and off of James’ dick, dribbling cum onto his stomach as he did. “We made a mess, babe,” James murmured, gently swiping his fingers through his arse cheeks and then wiping them on the bed.

_Did he just…_

_Okay._

Sirius shook his head.

Would he ever get over how unabashedly _comfortable_ James was with his arse?

_Probably not._

He grunted and collapsed next to him, wedging himself up against his side, his head rested on James’ chest and their bare legs entwined.

“Are you ready to do that again?” James asked, hugging him closer and kissing the top of his head.

“Mmm,” Sirius hummed, feeling as if he were melting into the bed. “M’ready when you are,” he slurred.

James chuckled deeply, his chest vibrating underneath him. “I just…need…a minute,” he faded off.

And then they both snickered quietly, utterly powerless to move.

***

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 🙏⭐️💦🙏⭐️💦🙏⭐️💦🙏
> 
> So yeah. That was pretty wild. 🔥😂
> 
>   
> *The London production of Les Miserables actually premiered in 1985. And if you were only able to see one play in your entire life, I would wholeheartedly recommend this one.😍


	59. Moving Day

***

~J~

James’ alarm clock blared on the nightstand.

He whacked it with his hand and then blinked his eyes open, instantly smiling when he felt Sirius’ hot, bare skin pressed against his own.

His brain was still swimming from the previous night.

He barely remembered showering and cleaning up their mess.

Was any of that even real?

Him in his Quidditch uniform and them on the bed…and _god_ , Sirius riding his cock like his life depended on it...shouting obscenities and nearly denting the wall…

He was pretty sure he’d never cummed so hard in his life.

_Sweet Jesus._

He turned towards Sirius, suddenly desperate to talk to him, and kissed him on the forehead.

“Babe?” he said, his lips still pressed to his skin.

“Hmm?”

“Are you awake?”

“Mmm.”

“Last night was _amazing_ ,” he rasped.

Sirius just hummed and snuggled closer.

“I bet you’re gonna be sore.”

A beat passed and then Sirius squinted his eyes open and smiled, stretching against him like a cat. “Bet I am,” he drawled. “But it was bloody worth it.”

“Totally,” James said wistfully, stroking his hair back from his face and running his fingertips along his jaw.

“And it lived up to your expectations?”

Sirius smirked with his eyes closed. “It surpassed them by a bloody mile.”

James chuckled and then pushed him back into the bed, smothering his face with hungry kisses, so giddy he could barely stand it.

Sirius just continued to smile, looking too fucking pretty for words, all red lips and shaggy black hair, porcelain skin and sharp cheekbones. “Thank you for indulging my fantasy,” he murmured.

James paused his ministrations and pulled back to stare at him. “Baby, I already told you I’d do anything to make you happy…”

Sirius arched a black brow. “Even buy lube again?”

James huffed and rolled his eyes. “ _Yes_ , even buy _lube_ again.”

Sirius chuckled, reaching a hand up and rubbing at the frown line between his brows with his thumb. “And you’re not still mad at me, right?”

James sighed. “I wasn’t ever really mad at _you_ …just mortified I had to buy it from that old man.”

Sirius gripped onto his chin. “Do you wanna go back and obliviate his memories?”

James chuckled. “ _No_ , he doesn’t deserve that. I’ll just never show my face there again.”

Sirius laughed and stroked his jaw. “What happened to my brave boy?”

A tingle went up James’ spine.

“Okay, I’ll go back and buy _twenty_ more bottles of lube…and even throw in a pack of condoms for good measure.”

Sirius snorted. “Now, _that’s_ my man.”

James grinned like a buffoon and dove his face down to Sirius’ neck, covering his soft skin with grateful kisses.

Sirius whined and clutched onto him even tighter, and he couldn’t help but notice his cock, hot and throbbing, pressing against his bare thigh. He started to kiss his way down his body and under the covers.

“Prongs!” Sirius gasped, arching up underneath him.

James kissed his belly and then moved even further down, spreading his thighs apart and going straight for his cock. He licked a slow, hot stripe right along his shaft. “For old time’s sake,” he crooned before tenderly kissing the tip of his head.

And Sirius didn’t protest.

He writhed underneath him, hissing curses and curling his toes into the bed.

***

~J~

The time had finally come.

 _Moving Da_ y was officially commencing and right on schedule, and James felt so excited over the prospects of their upcoming freedom that he could barely see straight.

If only his _mum_ was on the same page.

“I feel like I’m moving you boys away to University,” Euphemia said with a sniff as they all drove to the flat with the car loaded down and pulling a small trailer full of furniture behind them, everything only able to fit due to the massively strong shrinking charm that his pop had used.

“Mum, it’s not _forever_ ,” James said, glancing over at Sirius. “We’ll still come home on the weekends…”

“Yes, but it feels like you’re really moving away for _good_ …and I didn’t think I’d have to deal with this until _after_ graduation,” his mum said, sniffling again. “Maybe after school, you could come back home for another summer?”

James looked at Sirius again, whose eyes were now wide with panic. “Erm, we’ll just have to see, mum.”

“Euphemia, let him grow up,” his pop said quietly, drumming his fingers on the steering wheel.

His mum sniffled again and then sighed.

“This is it!” James exclaimed as they turned the corner onto Grafton Street. “Right there, _that_ one,” he said, pointing to the old brown brick building with white trim.

“Oh, this is nice!” his mum said with surprise. “Yes, I remember this place now! We found some good books here, Fleamont…”

James glanced sideways at Sirius and grinned, so relieved in her change of attitude.

_Thank Merlin…_

They parked the car and got out, stretching from the long drive, then entered the book shop. The bell tinkled above the door and the elderly woman came forward to greet them.

“Hello!” she said smilingly kindly.

They introduced themselves and then were escorted upstairs.

“This will do just fine!” his mum said after looking around and running her hands over nearly every inch of the place. “It’s a good size, plenty of light, nice view…”

James beamed at Sirius and sighed in relief.

“The kitchen is quite small, though,” she said sadly.

“Mum, it’s all we _need_. I doubt we’ll be doing much cooking anyway…” James said reassuringly. “We might just have to apparate home every night to have your food.”

Sirius whipped his head around at that with raised brows and pursed lips, giving him a look that very clearly said, “We most certainly will _not_ do that.”

James nearly barked out a laugh.

“Uh, I mean, we’ll _want_ to _,_ but we’ll learn to cook our own food…” James stammered.

“You two will manage!” his pop said, clapping them both on the back. “Alright, let’s sign the paperwork and get your stuff unloaded.”

And thank _god_ for his pop’s charms, otherwise they wouldn’t have been able to fit the couch or the bed through the doorway, much less lift them up the stairs. His mum levitated things around the room once they got them inside and organized them in piles. “Are you two _sure_ you can manage with just the _one_ bed?” she asked, peering into the bedroom with a frown. “Why didn’t you get two small ones instead?”

James nearly choked on his own tongue. “Well, because—”

“Because this is just all we could find,” Sirius quickly interjected. “But we’ll have a look around town and see if we can find something better. I’ll probably just sleep on the sofa anyway…”

“No, no, you need a _real_ bed, dear,” Euphemia said sternly, waggling her finger at him. “I’ll keep a look out for some.”

“Thanks, mum,” James said, trying not to wince.

_God, I’m an idiot. Of course she’d notice that…_

“And what about your owls?” his pop asked, setting a box down on the floor.

“Blimey, I forgot all about them,” James said, scratching the back of his head. “They’ve been off hunting for days…”

“And we didn’t exactly _ask_ the landlords if we could have pets…” Sirius chimed in, biting his lip. “When they get back to the house, just tell them where we’ve moved and to only come here at night…”

“Sounds good,” his pop said with a nod. “Well, I think that’s about everything then...”

“Wait!” Euphemia screeched. “I need to put up some protective wards.”  
  
“ _Mum_ ,” James whined. “You really don’t have to do that...this is a _safe_ place.”

“It may be safe right now…but with the uprisings…” She pursed her lips and shook her head. “I’ll put one up to conceal the use of magic in this place and also one to ward off any prying eyes.”

James huffed and looked to Sirius, rolling his eyes. And then he suddenly wished he could ask her to soundproof the place as well. But then again, knowing his mum, she’d probably be afraid that if they ever cried out for help, no one would be able to hear them.

_A small price to pay to shag as loudly as we want..._

His mum went to every room like she was on a mission, holding her wand up and chanting spells under her breath, and then she did the same thing outside as well.

“Now, I’ll reinforce these every time I come to visit,” she said with a sniff.

James and Sirius both shot each other panicked looks, both clearly thinking, _and exactly how often will that be?_

“Thanks, mum,” James said, patting her on the shoulder. “We’ll be fine.” And then she flung herself in his arms and hugged him tight. “My little boy…all grown up…” James hugged her back and sighed. “We’ll still visit all the time…probably pop into the kitchen and give you a heart attack,” he said. She started laughing at that. He hugged his pop next, who covertly shoved a wad of muggle money in his hand. “Let me know if you ever need anything,” he whispered. James squeezed his arm and nodded.

His mum and dad hugged Sirius just as tight; he was like their second son after all.

And as he and Sirius stood by the window and watched them drive away, he couldn’t help but feel a little sad, his heart squeezing tight in his chest. Maybe this was a bigger deal than he’d realized.

The flat suddenly felt so _quiet._ He could hear the ticking of his own wrist watch. It felt like his heart was in his throat. He slowly turned towards Sirius and peered down at him. “Well, we did it,” he breathed.

“Fuck yeah,” Sirius said, smirking up at him, his blue eyes glassy.

And like magnets they lunged for each other and clung on tight.

“We _really_ did it…” James said, squeezing him in his arms.

Sirius hugged him back and started laughing. “Yeah, we did.”

James chuckled and picked him up off the floor, swinging him around the room. “We bloody did it!”

Now they were both laughing like a couple of idiots. They started dancing around the place, nearly tripping over boxes and furniture.

When they finally stopped, breathing hard and delirious, Sirius clutched onto the front of his shirt and stared up at him. “How’s this even real?”

“I dunno,” James breathed, “but if it isn’t, don’t pinch me, because I don’t wanna wake up…”

Sirius grasped his face between his palms and pulled him down, until their lips were just inches apart, “I wouldn’t dare,” he whispered.

~~~

After a few hours of unpacking and re-arranging and organizing and arguing over where things should go, they were completely spent.

Maybe being an “adult” wasn’t as _sexy_ as James thought it would be. It certainly involved a helluva lot of _decisions_. Is that what adulthood really was? An infinite amount of small decisions that eventually brought you to your grave because of the combined weight of them? Because if so, he was already feeling the heaviness of it.

Sweaty and exhausted, he and Sirius both collapsed on their outdated, floral thrift-store couch, a puff of dust going up into the air as they did.

“We still need a telly,” Sirius sighed.

“We’ll look local,” James said, leaning his head back and propping his feet up on the coffee table. He lifted his foot up slightly and there was a loud, _sticking_ sound.

“Yeah, the paints still tacky,” Sirius said, “guess I put on too many coats…”

“When did you even paint this?”

“Yesterday…when you were running _errands_ …”

James snickered and picked up his wand, flicking it towards the white table and muttering, “Evaporosa”.

And they both watched in horror as literally _all_ the white paint disappeared into thin air, leaving only the bare wood behind.

”Shit. That wasn’t what I meant…” James groaned.

Sirius chuckled and shook his head. “Just use that color changing charm, love.”

“Oh, right,” he said, before tapping the table with his wand and saying, “Colovaria.” The table instantly turned white again, but thankfully, this time, without the _stick_.

“We need to use that charm on the bathroom walls…” Sirius said, resting his feet on the coffee table alongside his.

“What? You don’t like the pink tile and peeling wallpaper?” James asked playfully, ribbing him in the side with a snicker.

“Actually, the pink tile is kinda growing on me…but the walls could use some help,” Sirius said, patting his thigh lightly and leaving his hand to rest there.

A shiver went up James’ spine at the simple touch. Suddenly, he didn’t feel quite so exhausted at all. He peered sideways at Sirius.

“What?” Sirius asked, narrowing his eyes.

James just grinned and then turned towards him, gripping onto his shoulders and slowly pushing him back into the couch. He crawled on top of him and pinned him down. “I wanna snog you on _our_ couch, in _our_ flat…” he breathed.

“Have at it,” Sirius said, blinking up at him.

James leaned down and caught his bottom lip between his teeth.

“Ah!” Sirius jolted, bucking up underneath him.

And suddenly, they were a tangle of arms and legs on a couch much too small for two grown boys, but they didn’t care, because it was all _theirs._

~~~

After what may have been hours, or maybe _minutes_ , of feverish, horny snogging, they both completely passed out from exhaustion.

James was awoken to the sound of a growling stomach, and he wasn’t even sure if it was his own or Sirius’.

Realizing that he couldn’t just go raid the fridge like at home, he groaned and pushed himself up, trying to get his bearings. “I’ll go down and get us some food,” he rasped, rolling off of Sirius and hitting the floor hard with a thud.

Sirius just chuckled.

James grabbed his keys and jacket and went outside, so grateful to have food options so close by. He went to the pub they’d been to before and got two orders of fish and chips. And when he returned, he found Sirius, still sound asleep on the couch.

He smiled, still feeling ridiculously giddy, and then went to the kitchen, setting the brown paper bags down on the counter. He pulled out two cans of cheap beer that he’d bought, feeling like such a rebel, and set them on a tray. Then he took their food out of the bags and placed it meticulously on two, miss-matched plates that they’d got from the thrift store.

“Dinner is served,” he said, walking back into the living room and setting everything down on the coffee table.

Sirius rolled over on the couch and blinked his eyes open, a sleepy smile creeping up his face. “You cooked!”

“Well, I _plated_ ,” James said grinning. “Here, sit on the floor,” he said, patting a spot on the rug.

Sirius crawled down and sat across from him on the other side of the table. “I think we need a little ambiance, though,” he said, taking his wand out and flicking it towards the two white candle sticks on the table. “Incendio!”

James smirked at him, his heart rate picking up speed. “Look at us…using magic…”

Sirius grinned sheepishly and looked down at his plate, “Yeah, for some reason we rarely ever use it at your place…”

“Probably because we literally have everything we need there,” James said, popping open his can of beer, foam spilling out the top and dribbling down the sides as he did.

“Well, living on our own should definitely help to improve our _charm_ skills.”

“True,” James said, taking a sip. And then he winced.

“Good?” Sirius asked with a smirk.

James’ eyes watered. “It kinda tastes like cat piss.”

Sirius barked out a laugh and shook his head. “What kind did you get?”

“I dunno…the cheapest.”

“Well you should have _known_ better than that. You have such a _refined_ palette,” Sirius scoffed, popping open his can. He tilted his head back and took a sip. “It doesn’t taste _that_ bad…” he said, licking his lips.

And James just stared at him, suddenly mesmerized. Because here _they_ were and here _he_ was…sitting on the floor of their own place, eating greasy food and drinking cheap beer by candlelight. Could life possibly get any better? He didn’t think so.

Sirius swiped his shaggy hair back with elegant fingers and frowned at him. “What?”

“Nothing…” James said dreamily, propping his elbows up on the table and resting his chin in his hands. “It’s just…our _first_ place, our _first_ night together…” he trailed off.

“Our first real _bed_ …” Sirius said, his cheekbones flushing.

“Well, if you don’t count the one in the _Room_ ,” James said.

“True, but this bed is _ours_ …”

“And I can’t wait to test it out…” James murmured.

“Me neither.”

They both stared at each other for a long beat, the candlelight dancing in their eyes.

“To our new home,” James said, raising his beer for a toast.

“To our new home,” Sirius repeated, lifting his can up and clinking them together.

~~~

“Wait, how’s this thing supposed to go?” James asked, holding up the bed sheet and frowning.

“You’ve got it backwards, love,” Sirius said as he padded over to him, taking the patterned floral sheet in his hand and tucking it securely into the bed corner. “Haven’t you ever made a bed before?” he asked with a snicker.

“Well, I’ve never really _had_ to,” James sighed. “Mum always did it at home and the house elves do it at school so…”

“Well, _my_ mum never made my bed and I certainly wouldn’t let Kreacher get near it,” Sirius huffed. “He probably would have hexed the sheets to strangle me while I slept or something.”

James snorted. “Yeah, probably.” And then he held up the top sheet, examining it. “You know, our flat is kinda like a floral explosion…How did that even happen?”

“All the stuff your mum gave us…and I think it’s just the style right now.”

James shook his head in disbelief.

_Could we look any gayer?_

“So what do you think Remus will think?” Sirius asked, pulling the sheet snugly across the mattress.

“I think he’ll be bloody _jealous_ ,” James said, starting to grin.

“And Peter?”

“Oh, he’ll probably just be more _bitter_ than usual…But I think for now, we should just invite Remus over…” He tucked a pillow into a matching floral pillow case. “And that reminds me—we never found out if he heard back about that internship at the Ministry...”

As if right on cue, there was a sharp tap on the windowpane and they both looked up to see Archimedes and Onyx, sitting on the sill and looking extremely put off—well, at least more so than _usual._

“Hey boys!” James said as he opened the window and let the birds fly in, Archimedes pelting him on the top of the head with a letter. “Hey! We _meant_ to tell you about the new place! Honest!”

The two temperamental, or more like, insanely _spoiled,_ birds perched on the metal frame at the top of their bed and hooted disdainfully.

“Who’s it from?” Sirius asked, still smoothing down the sheets.

James tore open the cream-colored envelope in a hurry. “Remus! And he says he got the internship and starts Monday! He wants to meet us in Diagon Alley for lunch!”

“Brilliant!” Sirius said lighting up. “I bet his mum and dad are really proud…”

“Yeah, a _werewolf_ at the Ministry,” James said sarcastically.

“Ha-ha. Well, I reckon he’ll do very well…as long as he can keep his tail between his legs…”

“ _You’re_ one to talk!”

“HEY!” Sirius barked, lunging towards him and smacking him in the face with a pillow. “I’ll get you for that you prat!”

James grabbed him by the shoulders and pulled them both down onto the once perfectly made bed, scaring the birds and making them fly off to the living room.

“Shhhh!” Sirius hissed, “You’ll wake the deaf!”

“I think it’s ‘wake the _dead,_ ’ you git!”

“Whatever,” Sirius chuckled, squirming underneath him. “The landlords are practically _deaf_ anyway…”

“Then our _noises_ shouldn’t be a problem,” James said with a laugh.

“But seriously, we still need to find a good noise reducing charm…”

“I know, I know and I’m on it,” James said.

“Really now?”

“Yep. Don’t worry, this place will be completely soundproof in no time.”

Did he have a plan?

Well, technically _no_.

And then he thought of Moony, because _surely_ the avid bookworm would know a great one. The only ones James knew were much too weak and much too short lived to be useful during their wild shagging sessions. They needed something absolutely _foolproof_.

Sirius grinned and ran his fingertips along his jaw. “You’re _so_ good at accomplishing things, love. I have no doubt.”

James smirked and leaned down closer, nuzzling their noses together. “Speaking of accomplishing things, I think we should shower and go to bed,” he murmured, suddenly feeling very hot.

“You think we can both fit in that bathroom?” Sirius asked in a low voice.

“We can _try_ ,” James said, rolling off the bed and pulling Sirius along with him.

They stood in the doorway of the loo and stared at the white, porcelain, claw-footed tub.

“Shit,” James hissed. “I forgot to buy a shower curtain.”

“Then I guess a _bath_ it is…” Sirius said, glancing at him sideways with a smirk.

James gulped. “Really?”

“Yeah, why not?”

Feeling as if there was no time like the present, James immediately started stripping his clothes off.

And Sirius just stood there and laughed at him. “You are _such_ a git...I swear.” And then he turned the knob on the tub. “We should probably let it fill up some first, and then we can get in one at a time…we don’t want all the water splashing over and drowning everyone below us.”

“Good idea,” James said, now standing there completely starkers and feeling rather chilly. He dipped his fingers in the water, checking the temp, and then gingerly crawled in and sat down. “Ahhh, that’s good,” he sighed. And then he looked up to see Sirius, still staring at him, his mouth hanging partially open and his blue eyes wide. “Get naked!” he barked.

***

~S~

“Alright, alright…” Sirius huffed as he started pulling his clothes off, slower than normal because he could feel James, watching his every move. He stared up at him and licked his lips before shoving his briefs all the way down to the floor.

“Get _in_ here,” James growled.

Sirius chuckled and gingerly stepped into the hot water, peering down at James, who was already filling up the entire tub with his long limbs. It was going to be a _very_ tight fit. He lowered himself down on the opposite side, with his feet resting on James’ shoulders. “Well, this is…cozy,” he said with a grin.

“Homey,” James said, running his wet fingers back through his curly hair.

“Where’s the soap?”

“Shit,” James hissed. He reached down towards the floor and snagged his wand out of his jeans. “Accio soap,” he said loudly and a bar of soap zoomed around the corner and promptly whacked him right upside the head. He yelped and Sirius barked out a laugh. “Aw, piss off,” James muttered, his cheeks flushing red.

“Maybe we need to go back to Charms 101,” Sirius said, still laughing whilst splashing his own face with water. “You’ve been on _such_ a roll tonight, love…Flitwick would keel over if he saw your mad skills. Kind of like that time you got a little charm-happy and literally blasted him off his desk. Remember? When you shouted _Ascendio_ and he shot straight up to the ceiling with a blood-curdling scream…”

James chuckled sarcastically and then grabbed him by the ankles, jerking him forward suddenly and under the water.

Sirius came up sputtering and splashing and shoving his dripping wet hair out of his face. “You git!”

“Yeah, what’re you gonna do about it, huh?” James taunted, tightening his grip on his ankles.

Sirius just grinned and squirted water out of his mouth, hitting him smack in the face.

***

~J~

Needless to say, most of the water was splashed out of the tub by the time they were done. James used the evaporating charm yet again, but thankfully there was no paint on the floor to vaporize as well. They did however, find that if they sat chest to back, they could wash each other’s hair, but it was the _maneuvering_ in the tub that proved to be quite difficult.

“I think we just need a bigger tub,” Sirius said sleepily as James wrapped him in a plush pink towel and dried him off.

“We couldn’t fit anything larger in here,” James said as he rubbed him down. “But we can put ‘large tub’ on our list of things we want for our _next_ place.”

“Mmm,” Sirius noised, his eyes closed, “then I guess I’d like a flower garden, too.”

“A what?” James asked, pausing to stare at him, not sure he’d heard him correctly.

“A flower garden…but like, nothing too fancy…” Sirius muttered.

James just stared at him incredulously.

“I never knew you wanted that,” he said, his eyebrows furrowed and his mind racing.

_Sirius Black...likes flowers?_

_What the fuck?_

“Well, my mother never let us have any,” Sirius sighed, turning towards the sink and squirting toothpaste onto his toothbrush. “She always claimed she was allergic…but I suspect it was anything _cheery_ that she actually despised.” He shoved the toothbrush in his mouth and continued talking around it. “I brought a daisy in once and she had Kreacher throw it into the fire...And I always remember seeing this one house,” he spit in the sink, “I think it was near Hampstead Heath…and it was covered in these massive pink roses…all growing up the sides...it looked like some kind of fairy-tale cottage…” He rinsed his mouth out and turned the water off. “And I dunno, I just always fancied it,” he shrugged. He wiped his mouth on the pink towel and turned towards James, blinking sleepily up at him.

_Okay._

_Task number one._

_Get this boy everything he’s ever fucking wanted._

James sighed and pulled him into his arms, kissing the crook of neck and inhaling his intoxicating clean scent. “I’ll get that for you one day, baby,” he whispered. “I promise.”

Sirius shivered and clutched him tighter.

“C’mon, let’s go to bed,” James said.

They dressed in their matching striped pajamas and crawled under the sheets and the massive quilt Euphemia had sent with them; it was a family heirloom; a patchwork quilt of magenta fabric stitched with silver moons and stars.

And even though they had a larger bed to spread out on, James still pulled Sirius up against his body, spooning him from behind. “I love you, babe,” he whispered into his hair, “and I love our new home,” he said, snuggling him closer and kissing the back of his warm neck.

“Me, too…” Sirius breathed, gripping his hand that was wrapped around his waist and lacing their fingers together. “Me, too.”

***

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 💖🏠💖🏠💖🏠💖🏠💖
> 
> These sweet boys...I swear. For some reason, I just really love this chapter.😍🏠
> 
>   
> 


	60. Settling In

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And another one! Enjoy!💖⭐️🦌

***

~S~

Sirius grunted, feeling something warm on his skin.

He squinted his eyes open to see a ray of sunshine, peeking through the curtains and landing on his face.

He rolled over and stretched, then smiled when he saw James, lying flat on his stomach with his head under the pillow, only a few dark brown curls poking out from underneath it.

He laid back, putting his hands behind his head, and stared up at the ceiling, wondering yet again, how was any of this real?

Living with James was definitely something from one of his fantasies. He’d always dreamed that after graduation they would end up getting a flat together…but he just never could have imagined it would have happened like _this_ …actually being a couple and doing it the summer before leaving school.

He sighed.

_I wonder what the future holds now…_

How long would they live there? What would working in Diagon Alley be like? Or going back to Hogwarts for another year after living on their own and so independently…

“Knut for your thoughts?” a deep, raspy voice came. A shot of pleasure went straight to his dick and he curled his toes into the bed. Merlin, how he _loved_ that voice! He glanced sideways and smiled at James. “Not sure you could afford ‘em, love.”

“Oh, yeah? Try me,” James teased, rolling to his side and scooting closer to him, propping his head up on his hand.

Sirius rolled over to face him. “I dunno, I was just thinking about everything…living here…working…the future…”

“All good things?” James asked, quirking his brow.

“ _Yes_ , love. All good things. As long as we’re together…” he said, reaching his hand up and lightly caressing his jaw with his thumb.

“Well, I’m not going anywhere,” James said, a smile creeping up his sleepy face and reaching his eyes. “From here on out, it’s just _you and me_.”

Sirius smirked. “Through thick and thin,” he breathed, moving his face closer to James’. He leaned the rest of the way forward and pressed their lips together, a warm tingle running up his spine. James slid his hand down his side and gripped onto his hip bone, squeezing hard.

_Oh god._

Sirius let out a gasp and surged towards him, everything going desperate and hot.

And then James’ stomach gave a loud grumble.

Sirius pulled back with a smirk. “Breakfast?”

James huffed. “I’d rather just eat _you_.”

Sirius snickered and held his face between his hands.

“But I don’t think I’d satisfy your empty stomach.”

“Oh, but you’d definitely satisfy _everything else_ ,” James breathed, going for his mouth again.

“No, no…go and get some food,” Sirius protested, pressing his finger into his lips.

“Oh, alright. But we’re gonna finish this later.”

“Of course.”

James rolled off the bed with a huff. “I’ll run down to the corner shop and grab some things. Our fridge is bare.” He stripped his pajamas off and yanked on a pair of old jeans and a t-shirt. “I’ll just be a minute,” he said, leaning down and placing a kiss on Sirius’ cheek. And then he smacked him hard on the bum.

“Hey!” Sirius barked.

James just laughed and walked out the door.

Sirius buried his face into the pillow, inhaling what was left of James, and smiling so large his eyes watered.

~~~

“Mmm, somethin’ smells good,” Sirius said sleepily as he padded into the kitchen still wearing his pajamas. “Blimey, did you buy out the store, love?” He surveyed all the paper bags of food piled on the counter, his eyes going wide.

“Maybe,” James said, his cheeks flushing. “I wanted to make sure you had lots of options.” He grabbed a mug out of the cabinet and poured some steaming coffee into it. “Here,” he said, gingerly handing it to him. “Milk and sugar are on the table.”

“Thanks, love,” Sirius said, pulling out a chair and sitting down, a ridiculous, soppy grin plastered on his face. He blew on his coffee as he watched James bustle around, unpacking the pastries.

“Alright, we’ve got scones and muffins and hot cross buns…they’re still warm…I also got some jam and butter…Here’s the blueberry, your favorite,” he said, scooting a glass jar with a gold lid towards him.

Sirius just sighed as he watched him and stirred some more sugar into his coffee.

“What?” James asked, looking up at him.

“Just you. Being domestic…Gets me every time.”

James blushed fiercely and bit down on his bottom lip, darting his eyes down to the table. “Well, you better get used to it, babe.”

“Not sure I ever will,” Sirius replied, sipping his coffee and raising his eyebrows.

James grinned back. “Oh, I almost forgot—I saw a second-hand shop down the street if we need anything else…And the grocery store might have shower curtains, but I forgot to look,” he said, sitting down at the table.

“Good,” Sirius replied before biting into his muffin smothered with blueberry jam. “We’ll probably need to get groceries today anyway…and we can swing by the second-hand shop and see if they have any tellys or a chest of drawers.”

“Good idea…” James said, sitting down at the table. “So d’you reckon we’re ready for Monday?”

“Ready as we’ll ever be, I suspect…Lots to learn I’m sure, but we’ll catch on. And at least you’ve already had experience at your parent’s bakery. I’ve never worked at an _enchanted junk shop_ before,” Sirius said with a smirk.

“Aw, you’ll be brilliant at it, babe. And at least you don’t have to get up at the _crack of dawn_.”

“True.” He took another bite of his muffin, chewing slowly. “So are you just gonna come back here when your shift is over?” he asked.

Because _yes_ , he was already worried about when they’d see each other again, and _yes_ he would definitely be counting down the minutes.

“Probably. I’m sure I’ll need a nap…Will you come back straight after work as well?”

_Good. Maybe he’s already worrying about missing me, too._

“Yeah…but we’re still gonna meet Remus for lunch tomorrow though, right?”

***

~J~

“Bugger, yeah. I forgot to send him a note back…” James said, scooting his chair back from the table. He went to the living room where Archimedes was sleeping soundly, sitting in the middle of the coffee table with his head tucked under his copper-colored wing.

“Erm, sorry to send you out, mate, but I need to get this note to Remus ASAP. Do you mind?”

Archimedes opened one piercing yellow eye and glared up at him. _Yikes_. James hastily scribbled a reply on a piece of parchment and handed it to him. And then he opened the window and watched him fly away, suddenly realizing that he probably shouldn’t have sent him out on an errand in broad daylight. But it was too late now.

He went back to the kitchen and plopped down in the chair. “I told Remus we’d meet him at noon in front of Gringotts. We can decide from there where we wanna go eat.”

“Sounds goo’,” Sirius said, chewing around a mouthful of food.

James leaned towards him, as far as he could without falling off his chair, straining for a kiss.

Sirius chuckled before leaning the rest of the way and pecking his lips.

“My little blueberry,” James crooned.

Sirius flushed and wiped at his mouth self-consciously. “You’re such a git.” 

***

~S~

“Okay, I seriously think you’re gonna have to take _half_ of these back to your house, love. There’s not gonna be enough room for them here,” Sirius said, holding a stack of James’ jumpers in his arms.

James pursed his lips in annoyance and walked towards him. “What if I just used a shrinking charm to save space?”

“Yeah, but when are you even gonna _wear_ all these? Wouldn’t it just be easier to leave what we don’t need at your parent’s place?”

James huffed loudly.

_Oh no._

He could most definitely feel a _James Potter Pout_ coming on.

_Is it even worth it to try and fight him on this?_

He needed to choose his battles wisely.

He hooked his fingers in James’ jean pockets and tugged him forward. “But if you _really_ wanna keep it all here, just use the charm then.”

James lit up like a school boy and grinned.

“But we’re still gonna need something to store all our clothes in.”

“We’ll find something,” James said, setting the clothes down on the bed and grasping onto his shoulders. “I just really want most of my stuff here…with _you_. Otherwise, it’s kinda like this is just a temporary thing.”

Sirius slid his hands up his sides and started to smile. “Nothing about us being together is _temporary,”_ he crooned. “ _Regardless_ of where your posh-arse clothes are.”

James grinned wide and grasped onto his neck with one hand, pulling him forward and up. “Very true,” he said, before bringing their lips together and kissing him softly.

Sirius’ blood suddenly ignited and he grasped onto him harder, slamming their hips together, everything becoming very hot, very fast. And then James was pulling him backwards and towards the bed, and they both fell onto it in a heap, jumpers flying every which way as Sirius scrambled to get on top of him, and then there was the sound of a sickening crunch.

They both froze.

“Did we just…break the bed?” Sirius whispered. “ _Already_?”

James snorted and pushed himself up. “Sounds like it.”

They both rolled off the bed and stood up, only to find one of its metal legs bent and the mattress dipping towards the floor.

James shook his head and chuckled. “By the time we get done with this place, literally _everything_ in it will have been repaired or charmed at some point.” He snatched his wand off the nightstand. “Reparo,” he said, instantly fixing the leg.

“We’d probably be safer on just a mattress…in a barn…” Sirius trailed off, shaking his head.

They both laughed.

“Speaking of _barnyard noises_ ,” James said, clearing his throat.

“Yeah, I don’t recall mentioning that,” Sirius said.

James grinned mischievously. “Well, I had an idea…I was gonna try out the noise-reducing charms I _do_ know and see how they held up.”

“Okay…”

“So if you wanna go downstairs, into the bookshop, I can make a lot of noise and you can see if you can hear me up here.”

Sirius narrowed his eyes. “This sounds like a bad idea.”

“Just _do_ it,” James pleaded. “I need to know how well they work.”

“I thought you said you had this covered?”

“I _do_ …but I wanna at least _try_ this first.”

_I’m betting this is your only plan, but okay._

“Fine,” Sirius huffed.

He went outside and down the stairs and around the front of the building to the bookshop.

“Hello dear! Everything all right?” their landlady asked after he’d walked inside.

“Erm…yes…I was just…” he darted his eyes around, “looking for a cookbook, actually. Do you have any of those?” He flicked his eyes up towards the ceiling, wishing James would hurry up and get on with it. He didn’t want to appear too suspicious.

“Oh, yes! Those are right over here,” she said, leading him to a particular aisle. “Are you teaching yourself how?”

And then the building started to shake and dust was raining down from the ceiling.

Sirius looked up in horror and then started choking, swatting his hands in front of his face.

“What in the world?” he heard the woman say, shielding her head and running for the door.

And then there was the distant sound of yelling.

But not just _any_ yelling.

 _Crazy person_ yelling. Whooping and hollering and flat-out screaming.

_Oh my god._

“It’s probably just James!” he blurted out, running for the door and nearly knocking the woman over. “He was gonna move some furniture around—he must have dropped it on his toe!” He flew out the door and up the stairs at lightning speed, flinging their door open just as James was mid-yell, jumping off the sofa and onto the floor.

“JAMES!” he screeched. “JAMES!”

James froze. “You can _hear_ me?”

Sirius walked towards him, panting. “The whole bloody _neighborhood_ heard you, you GIT! You nearly brought down the bloody ceiling!”

James exhaled, swiping his hand back through his hair. “Shit.”

“What spell did you use?”

“That _Tempus_ _Surditas_ one…”

Sirius bristled. “That one makes the _spell-caster_ temporarily deaf… _not_ the listeners. No wonder you were so damn loud!”

James’ eyes widened. “Whoops.”

“Okay, well then what about the _Omnia_ _Silentibus_ one?” James asked, waving his wand out with a flourish, and suddenly, Sirius felt like his ears were clogged. He could see James’ mouth moving, but he couldn’t hear a word he was saying. “I can’t _hear_ anything!” he yelled. He couldn’t even hear his own voice.

James waved his wand again, clearing the spell. “Well, it worked!” he said with a cheeky grin, clearly very proud of himself.

Sirius walked closer, grasping his hands behind his back. “Yes, it did. But do you really wanna fuck me in complete silence?”

James grimaced, his top lip curling up slightly.

“Yeah, that’s what I thought…Because if you can’t hear me yelling your name, then what’s the point?”

They both stared at each other for a beat and then snorted.

“Yeah, that would be pretty depressing,” James said, moving even closer, hovering over him. “But I bet it would still _feel_ good.”

Sirius smirked deviously and grasped hold of his chin. “Yes, I’m _sure_ it would,” he muttered, “but I wanna hear you moan when I’m riding you.”

James let out a breathy exhale and closed his eyes. “You can’t say things like that, babe.”

Sirius just chuckled. “Yeah, what are you gonna do about it, huh?”

James opened his eyes and grabbed him.

“Ah!” Sirius yelped.

James snickered and scooped him up in his arms, making a b-line for the bedroom. “I’m gonna carry you across the threshold!” he said, and right before Sirius could reply, his head was whacked against the door frame. “Shit!” he yelped, flinching in his arms.

“OH I’m _SORRY_!” James screeched, rushing to the bed and falling onto it, and there was yet another loud _crunch._

“Oh my _GOD_!” Sirius hissed, throwing his head back into the quilt and writhing underneath him.

James buried his face in the crook of his neck and started laughing hysterically.

And in that moment, Sirius was pretty sure there was a special word for people like them…

_Idiots._

_We’re fucking idiots..._

_Completely certifiable._

***

~J~

“What do you think about this here?” James asked after he’d finished hanging the stag picture that Sirius had given him for Christmas up on the bedroom wall.

“I think it’s perfect,” Sirius said. “Except…” He waved his wand in front of it and the once moving picture froze.

“What’d you _do_?” James yelped.

“I think it’s probably best not to have any _enchanted_ pictures in our place…Just in case our landlords ever come snooping around.”

“Oh, true,” James said, running his fingertip over the stag; it was frozen mid-air, the moon suspended above it in the purple sky. He still couldn’t get over the fact that Sirius had actually _painted_ it himself. “But you can always re-do the charm, right?”

Sirius smiled and took the picture off the wall. “The magic is still there…see,” he said, tilting the picture from side to side.

James started to grin, suddenly relieved. When the picture was tilted, the moving stag was visible, but when stationary, it looked just like any normal painting.

“You’re so good at charms, babe,” he sighed.

Sirius scoffed. “I’d be even _better_ if Flitwick hadn’t held such a _grudge_ against me all these years.”

“Well, maybe that was because you set his _pants on fire_ literally the first day of class…”

“Well, at least I didn’t blast him straight up to the ceiling! Or put a Niffler inside his desk! Or turn his hair _pink_!”

“Hey!” James barked, punching him in the bicep. “You _dared_ me to do those things!”

Sirius rubbed his arm and licked his lips. “True.”

James shook his head and started digging through another box on the floor. “You’re a bad influence Sirius Black…a bad, bad influence…” he muttered.

“Excuse me?” Sirius said, standing in front of him with his hands on his hips.

James saw the Polaroid camera in the box and grabbed it, holding it up and snapping a picture.

“HEY!”

Sirius lunged for him, hands outstretched and blue eyes wild, but James was faster, laughing maniacally whilst darting to the other side of the bed.

“Is that the _possessed_ camera?!” Sirius squawked.

“Yes. But pop fixed it.”

Sirius pursed his lips and cocked his head, giving him his classic, _you’re an idiot,_ look.

“He did! I _swear_.”

“Well, I still don’t trust it.”

James snapped another picture of him.

“Stop!”

“But babe, we’re making _memories_!” And then he ran out of the room and started snapping pictures of everything in the flat.

“Well, if that thing kills us in our sleep, it’ll be _your_ fault!” Sirius hollered.

James just laughed. “Don’t worry, we can lock it away at night.”

~~~

After _finally_ finishing unpacking and getting things just how they wanted them, James went to the kitchen in search of food.

And then he remembered they didn’t _have_ any.

But he did find Sirius, sitting at the kitchen table and diligently working on something.

“What’re you doing?”

“Planning a budget,” Sirius said, tapping a pen to his lips.

“But you hate maths!”

“Well I guess not as much as I thought…desperate times, you know…”

James pulled out a chair and sat down, pulling his glasses off his head and down his nose. He picked up a piece of paper. It was sectioned into columns: _Rent, Food, Household Things, Entertainment, Misc._ He picked up another one. It was a detailed list labeled, _What I owe James,_ as well as, _What I owe the Potters_.

“Babe, you don’t _owe_ us anything. We’ve been over this,” he sighed.

“I still need to pay your parents back for the furniture they helped us get…and of course I’ll pay you back for the supplies we bought...”

“They _wanted_ to do all that for us…they aren’t expecting us to pay them back. And you don’t owe me _anything_. We’ll use our paychecks to pay for our first month’s rent as well as groceries and anything else we might need.” James wadded up the paper and then took out his wand and lit it on fire.

Sirius’ eyes widened.

“Now,” James said, pulling his glasses off and setting them on the table. “We’re both starting from scratch this day forward. No debts, no grievances. Agreed?” 

Sirius pursed his lips into a thin line and went silent, staring down at the table, and then he reached out and took James’ glasses and slipped them on, pushing them up the bridge of his nose with his middle finger. “Fine,” he said through gritted teeth.

_Wait, what?_

James took in a shaky inhale and just stared at him, transfixed.

Because _holy fucking shit_.

 _No one_ should look that good in a pair of glasses.

_Ever._

Sirius looked up at him and stared pointedly, his sapphire eyes, now accentuated by the black frames, absolutely penetrating.

James just blinked, his heart pounding.

“Are you…okay?” Sirius asked.

James swallowed. “The _glasses_ ,” he choked.

“Oh—you need them—” Sirius said, starting to pull them off.

“NO!” James yelped, jumping up and lunging towards him, dropping a knee to the floor and sliding right between his open legs. “Oh my _god_ ,” he hissed, clutching onto his face, as if it were the first time he’d ever seen him properly.

“What is _wrong_ with you?”

“The glasses!” James said, before pressing up and smashing their lips together.

Sirius just grunted and kissed him back, clearly thinking he was insane.

***

~J~

“Okay, so you have the list?” James asked.

“Yes,” Sirius replied, pushing the trolley down an aisle.

They were in the local grocery store, with empty bellies and a budget, and completely out of their element.

“Mum always said not to shop when you’re _hungry_ ,” James groaned, eyeing a giant bag of cheesy crisps on a shelf.

“Well, if you wouldn’t have snogged me for an _hour_ we would have had time to eat _first_ ,” Sirius hissed under his breath. “The store closes soon. We can eat after.”

James huffed. “Well, if you wouldn’t have had to put on my _glasses_ …trying to tempt me like some kind of damn _fiend_ , I wouldn’t have _attacked_ you.”

Sirius just shook his head and picked up a loaf of fresh bread, squeezing it in his hand, “Do you like this kind?”

James observed it. “Mum usually gets the French stuff.”

“Well, your _mum_ can afford that,” Sirius said tartly. “We’re on a _budget_.”

And James nearly growled.

If Sirius mentioned the fucking _budget_ one more time, he was gonna lose his goddamn mind.

_I hate adulting!!!_

_I HATE it!_

Or maybe it was just because he was _starving_ …He should have listened to his mum’s advice and—

“If I make you a sandwich with this bread, will you _eat_ it?”

James froze.

“Make…me…a sandwich?”

He suddenly felt like he was melting into the floor. Were those hearts and butterflies dancing around Sirius’ head?!

_He wants to make me a fucking sandwich!_

Sirius just stared at him, his blue eyes narrowed.

“Aw, _babe_ …” James crooned.

“ _Don’t_ start,” Sirius snapped, setting the bread down in the trolley. “Okay, we need condiments, breakfast stuff, tea—”

“Condoms?” James hissed in his ear.

Sirius brushed him aside and shook his head. “Would you _stop_! I can’t take you anywhere.”

James just grinned and followed close behind him, absolutely _loving_ this new, bossy-wife thing Sirius had going on.

Maybe Moony was right and they really _were_ like an old married couple. He’d actually been telling them that since they were thirteen, whenever they’d bicker like two old goats and argue over the most trivial things…

_I guess we are like that…_

_Huh._

He stood back and watched Sirius, who was currently holding up a jar of pickles, examining it with a frown.

_So. Fucking. Hot._

Sirius peered up at him and scrunched his brows.

“I love you,” James mouthed.

Sirius’ eyes went wide and the jar nearly flew out of his hands.

_That’s my man._

***

~S~

“James we are _not_ getting all this junk food,” Sirius said, removing yet another giant bag of crisps from the trolley. What was it with James and crisps?! _God_.

“But _please_ ,” James whined.

“No. It’s not in the budget.”

“Can’t we make room?”

“Not unless you wanna get a second job.”

“Fine,” James growled. “I’ll just go to mum’s and—”

“You’ll what?”

“Erm, nothing.”

“That’s what I thought.”

James sighed loudly, like a child not getting its way, and set the crisps back on the shelf.

Sirius huffed and grabbed hold of his wrist, tugging him closer. “James Potter, you’re _spoiled_.”

James just stared at him, blinking slowly, and then he rolled his eyes dramatically. “Of _course_ I’m spoiled! But you already _knew_ this.”

Sirius stared back, almost wanting to laugh.

Because _yes,_ he was bloody well aware of it. Since the first day they’d met.

The fact was, the Potter's had spoiled James _rotten._ And not just because he was adorable and talented and charming, but because he was the blessed child of their _old age._ A miracle baby. Doted on to the extreme and rarely ever told the word “no.” Not until he’d met Sirius, that is. Yes, Sirius had worshiped the ground he’d walked on and thought he’d hung the damn moon, just like _everyone_ _else_ , but he never let _James_ know that. And so whilst James whined and threw tantrums for not getting his way, Sirius rarely, if ever, _indulged_ him. This drove James insane, naturally, but it was also part of what made their relationship so unique, so _special_.

Sirius knew how to _handle_ him.

And the best way to get James Potter to stop whining or pouting, or wallowing in a vat of self-pity, was to go straight for his ego and then put him in his place.

“Well, it’s time to grow up, Sirius sniffed. “I won’t coddle you like your _mum_ does.”

“And just _why_ not?” James asked, as if his statement was absolutely ludicrous.

_You little brat._

Sirius moved in closer, backing him up against a shelf of biscuits, but refrained from touching him. “Because I don’t want to be with a coddled little _boy_ ,” he whispered, barely moving his lips. “I want a _man_.”

James inhaled sharply and stared down at him, _oh fuck_ written all over his panicked, gorgeous face. “Forget the crisps,” he breathed. “I don’t need them.”

Sirius took a step backwards and smirked.

_Now that’s how it’s done._

~~~

They apparated back home with their bags of groceries and put everything away and then James went and got them some curry, which they devoured in about two seconds. But at least their moods had significantly improved!

Lesson learned: _never shop on an empty stomach._

Sirius set their brass tea kettle on the stove, giving it a tap with his wand, and then put a bag of Earl Grey tea into each of their miss-matched coffee mugs.

After letting the tea steep, he put everything on a tray and carried it into the living room.

“Big day tomorrow,” he sighed.

James grunted from the couch. He was sprawled out on top of it with one arm slung over his face. “I have to get up at the bloody _crack-of-dawn_ ,” he groaned.

Sirius smiled and sat down on the floor below him, blowing on his tea. “Yeah,” he said, feeling only _slightly_ sorry for him.

James grunted and rolled over. “Tea?”

“Mm-hmm. We’re old people now,” Sirius murmured.

James snorted and picked up his mug off the table. “To being old,” he said, clinking it against Sirius’.

Sirius smiled sleepily and leaned his head back against his leg. “I’m gonna miss you tomorrow,” he sighed.

James set his mug back down and curled his body around him, pressing his mouth to his ear. “How much?”

Sirius grinned and closed his eyes. “Like a lot.”

And then he felt James’ warm lips, pressing softly behind his ear, quickening his pulse, before sliding down the side of his neck, trailing feather-light kisses.

He hummed and leaned into him, his heart starting to ache.

“Get up here, babe,” James whined.

Sirius complied and turned around, crawling up onto the couch and into his open arms. He laid down, with his head rested on James' bicep, and stared up at him.

“I’m gonna miss you, too,” James sighed, placing a soft kiss to his cheekbone.

Sirius closed his eyes. “How much?” he murmured.

“Like a lot.”

He started to smile.

_Thank Merlin._

And then James was gently kissing his lips and cupping the side of his face with the palm of his hand, holding him as if he were something precious.

_Dear god._

And Sirius desperately wished he could freeze time, or at least _slow_ it down.

Did they really have to grow up so fast?

Should they have just stayed at the Potter’s all summer and been more carefree? Had less commitment and responsibility?

But if they’d chosen that path, they couldn’t be together like they were now, in their own place, on their own sofa, snogging freely…

He slid his tongue into James’ warm mouth and tenderly stroked the side of his face, feeling both of their entwined bodies instantly relax.

The fact was, some things were worth sacrificing for.

And _this_ was definitely one of them.

***

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 🌟🫖🌟🫖🌟🫖🌟🫖🌟
> 
> Could they be any cuter?!😍 Yeah, I don’t think so.
> 
> Also, 60 chapters DONE!!!🎉 Whoot! Whoot!🥳 
> 
> 📌 Next chapter coming within a few days or maybe a week. I’ll just have to see!🤞


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